The 3rd Annual Nigerian EMail Conference

Jacek Fedorynski writes "I present to you an urgent and confidential request: I request your attendance at The 3rd Annual Nigerian EMail Conference. This is an excellent opportunity to meet your distinguished colleagues, learn new marketing techniques, and spend your hard-earned money. Attending this conference demands the highest trust, security and confidentiality between us."

Comments

George W

[lordgert]

I wonder if George W Bush plans on attending?

Re:George W

[scubacuda]

Subject: FW: IMMEDIATE ATTENTION NEEDED: HIGHLY CONFIDENTIAL

URGENT ASSISTANCE - FROM USA

IMMEDIATE ATTENTION NEEDED : HIGHLY CONFIDENTIAL

FROM: GEORGE WALKER BUSH
202.456.1414 / 202.456.1111
FAX: 202.456.2461

Dear Sir / Madam,

I am GEORGE WALKER BUSH, son of the former president of the United States of America George Herbert Walker Bush, and currently serving as President of the United States of America. This letter might surprise you because we have not met neither in person nor by correspondence. I came to know of you in my search for a reliable and reputable person to handle a very confidential business transaction, which involves the transfer of a huge sum of money to an account requiring maximum confidence.

I am writing you in absolute confidence primarily to seek your assistance in acquiring oil funds that are presently trapped in the republic of iraq. My partners and I solicit your assistance in completing a transaction begun by my father, who has long been actively engaged in the extraction of petroleum in the United States of America, and bravely served his country as director of the United States Central Intelligence Agency.

In the decade of the nineteen-eighties, my father, then vice-president of the United States of America, sought to work with the good offices of the President of the Republic of Iraq to regain lost oil revenue sources in the neighboring islamic republic of Iran. This unsuccessful venture was soon followed by a falling-out with his Iraqi partner, who sought to acquire additional oil revenue sources in the neighboring emirate of Kuwait, a wholly-owned U.S.-British subsidiary.

My father re-secured the petroleum assets of Kuwait in 1991 at a cost of sixty-one billion u.s. dollars ($61,000,000,000). Out of that cost, thirty-six billion dollars ($36,000,000,000) were supplied by his partners in the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia and other persian gulf monarchies, and sixteen billion dollars ($16,000,000,000) by German and Japanese partners. But my father's former Iraqi business partner remained in control of the republic of Iraq and its petroleum reserves.

My family is calling for your urgent assistance in funding the removal of the President of the Republic of Iraq and acquiring the petroleum assets of his country, as compensation for the costs of removing him from power. unfortunately, our partners from 1991 are not willing to shoulder the burden of this new venture, which in its upcoming phase may cost the sum of 100 billion to 200 billion dollars ($100,000,000,000 - $200,000,000,000), both in the initial acquisition and in long-term management.

Without the funds from our 1991 partners, we would not be able to acquire the oil revenue trapped within Iraq. That is why my family and our colleagues are urgently seeking your gracious assistance. Our distinguished colleagues in this business transaction include the sitting vice-president of the United States of America, Richard Cheney, who is an original partner in the Iraq venture and former head of the Halliburton oil company, and Condoleeza Rice, whose professional dedication to the venture was demonstrated in the naming of a Chevron oil tanker after her.

I would beseech you to transfer a sum equaling ten to twenty-five percent (10-25 %) of your yearly income to our account to aid in this important venture. The internal revenue service of the United States of America will function as our trusted intermediary. I propose that you make this transfer before the fifteenth (15th) of the month of April.

I know that a transaction of this magnitude would make anyone apprehensive and worried. But I am assuring you that all will be well at the end of the day. A bold step taken shall not be regretted, I assure you. Please do be informed that this business transaction is 100% legal. If you do not wish to co-operate in this transaction, please contact our intermediary representatives to further discuss the matter.

I pray that you understand our plight. My fam

Re:George W

[mrseigen]

It's also been published in the latest issue of 2600.

Nigeria

[Anonymous Coward]

A Nigerian diplomat was shot and killed once by someone who fell for the "Nigerian scam." It was very tragic, as the country had nothing to do with it.

Re:Nigeria

[zzxc]

It was all over the news a few months back. Get the story from here.

Re:Nigeria

[Zeddicus_Z]

http://j-walk.com/blog/docs/conference.htm

"Advance Fee fraud popularly known as 419 has also been in the rise. Early in the year, a Nigerian diplomat, Michael Waydi, was reported killed inside a Prague embassy by a 72 year-old retired Czech who was allegedly duped by a Nigerian fraudster. Before the gunman was eventually apprehended, he had shot and wounded a 37 year-old embassy clerk."

The Google has you.

confidential?

[Indio_do_Xingu]

"I present to you an urgent and confidential request" Confidential here in Slashdot?

Registration Fee: $995 per person

[JustKidding]

also available:

* Nigerian scams reloaded
* Free viagra
* Penis or breast enlargements (1 per person)

Re:Registration Fee: $995 per person

[FosterKanig]

Does that mean you can get only ONE breast enlarged?
Do you get to choose which one?

If you believe this site...

[PseudoThink]

...then I have a 25 million dollar wire transfer I need your help to complete!

Funny site, for sure.

Make penis fast!

[Pig Hogger]

We humbly request your extraordinary assistance.
I am the widow of Makeu Safeglouglou, who was minister of useless things. My husband was killed as he was about to mount a lap dancer in a Ouagadougou stripper bar.

Help us transfer several billion sperm celles frozen in a sperm bank account!

You know it's a sad day...

[TCM]

when spam gets submitted to slashdot as a story.

really?

[thanjee]

I thought the Nigerians were very good at writing email. I am constantly getting email from them asking me to send my bank details so they can deposit large sums of money. They are always very polite.

Re:really?

[stinky wizzleteats]

Nigerian scammers are fun. I had one convinced that I had to go to Mos Eisley (a local town named after a Confederate general) to sell my speeder (a small vehicle used for farming) to raise the funds for the transaction. (We don't have a bank account. My father, Anakin, lived through the Depression and doesn't trust banks).

I told him that I was laughed out of the Western Union office for trying to wire money to "Bank Attorney" (he gave me no address or other info), and that I had to spend some of the money buying a ride home from a couple of greasy dudes driving around in a 1976 Millenium Falcon pickup truck. He sent me his name and address. I told him that the Western Union ticket couldn't be changed and that I needed him to send me $3 so that I could redeem the ticket and send him the full sum. I gave him a few weeks to see if he would actually wire me $3, but when he didn't, I gave his name to the FBI, state department, and Nigerian authorities.

Re:really?

[Jucius Maximus]

"I had one convinced that I had to go to Mos Eisley (a local town named after a Confederate general) to sell my speeder (a small vehicle used for farming) to raise the funds for the transaction. (We don't have a bank account. My father, Anakin, lived through the Depression and doesn't trust banks)."

You can find tonnes of stories like this on The Lads of Lagos site. There's even one from me. Some highlights include:

THE LADS FROM BAGHDAD - Saddam Hussein & Chemical Ali need your help?

WE WANTS IT, PRECIOUS - Lord of the Rings version

THE LADS MEET SANTA CLAUS - he's making a list, he's checking it twice

WHERE NO LAD HAS GONE BEFORE - Collins Abu demands an apology from Capt. Kirk

THE DUMBEST CRIMINAL ON THE PLANET - Kindly Contributor in Philippines GETS $3 from a Lad

What?

[vistic]

I have colleages?

In Nigeria of all places... hmmmm.

I never knew.

I attended the first two...

[Mattygfunk1]

... and I can't recommend them highly enough. Not only were the speakers informative, but the opportunities to network were sensational.

I will insist that my boss sends me again this year, and I'm sure I will report that it was once again a must-attend event.

__
cheap web hosting Dragon life-like action figures

Late april fools joke

[treuf]

Eh, we are now June 1st, not April 1st.

After dupe posts I'm wondering if there is no comspiracy to bring Slashdot reputation down !

Maybe that'll help preventing hiccups like this

[Baumi]

You know a scammer needs some training when he get fooled into sending real gold to his "victim". :-)

Lets share our Nigerian Emails

[desideria]

I just got this one yesterday!

FROM THE DESK OF:MR.UMAR MOHAMMED
REPLY TO : umohammed@postmaster.co.uk

Good day,

I am MR UMAR MOHAMMED, head of the accounts/operations dept. of one of the leading merchant banks in Nigeria..I have an urgent and very confidential business proposition for you.

On December 8, 1998, an American Oil consultant/contractor with the
Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation, Mrs.Ann Barbara Myers made a
numbered time (Fixed) Deposit for twelve calendar months, valued at
US$25,000,000.00(Twenty-five Million Dollars) in my branch.Upon
maturity, I sent a routine notification to her forwarding address but
got no reply.After a month,we sent a reminder and finally we
discovered from her contract employers, the Nigerian National
Petroleum Corporation that Mrs.Ann
Barbara Myers died from a ghastly automobile accident.On further
investigation,I found out that she died without making a WILL, and
all attempts to trace his next of kin was fruitless.

I therefore made further investigation and discovered that Mrs.Ann
Barbara Myers did not declare any next of kin or relations in all her
official documents, including her Bank Deposit paperwork in my Bank.
This sum of US$25,000,000.00
is still sitting in my Bank and the interest is being rolled over
with the principal sum at the end of each year.No one will ever come
forward to claim it.According to Nigerian Law, at the expiration of 5
(five) years, the money will revert to the ownership of the Nigerian
Government if nobody applies to claim this fund.

Consequently, my proposal is that I will like you as a foriegner to
stand in as the next of kin to Mrs.Ann Barbara Myers so that the
fruits of this woman's labor will not get into the hands of some
corrupt government officials.This is simple, I will like you to
provide immediately your full names and address so that the Attorney
will prepare the necessary documents and affidavits which will put
you in place as the next of kin.
We shall employ the services of two Attorneys for drafting and
notarization of the WILL and to obtain the necessary
documents and letter of probate/administration in your favor for the
transfer.

We would need you as a Foreigner acting as the next of kin and sole
benefactor to the inheritance of Mrs.Ann Barbara Myers to travel and
claim this money in a SECURITY COMPANY based in Europe which is used
by my bank as an offshore payment center to the bank.The money will
be paid to you for us to share in the ratio of 60% for me and 40% for
you.
There is no risk at all as all the paperwork for this transaction
will be done by the Attorney and my position as the head of the accounts/operations dept
guarantees the successful execution of this transaction.

If you are interested, please reply immediately via the private
email address below. Upon your response, I shall then provide you
with more details and relevant documents that will help you
understand the transaction.

Please observe utmost confidentiality, and rest assured that this
transaction would be most profitable for both of us because I shall
require your assistance to invest my share in your country.

Awaiting your urgent reply via my email:umohammed@postmaster.co.uk
Thanks and regards.

MR UMAR MOHAMMED

Too busy to attend

[McAddress]

b/c I am checking out "Free Hot Teen Girls Who Want To Sleep With You"

World Economics

[secolactico]

From the article:

A round table discussion: Is email now Nigeria's top export?


I couldn't imagine a better way to start my sunday! What a hearty laugh!

In all seriousness, does anyone know of any action taken by a real nigerian to protest/combat this kind of scams? Myself, I'd be pretty pissed to see my country's reputation dragged on the mud by oportunistic creeps.

Re:World Economics

[Jeremiah Cornelius]

Nigeria has bigger problems than e-mail scam artists

Cool Spoof

[SkArcher]

Some of the other links from the blog page are even funnier, especially the one about M$ spam

And the one about the periodic table of elements... some people are just odd.

How ridiculous

[zazas_mmmm]

Hello Taco, MY NAME IS William Gates and I have been having some problems with the AMERICAN GOVERNMENT and a nasty company called AOL TIME WARNER who think they are going to get a LARGE SUM OF MONEY from me.

BECASUE OF GOVERNMENT SCRUTINY I NEED YOUR HELP IN TRANSFERING THE SUM OF 750,000,000 TO A SWISS BANK ACCOUNT.

FOR YOUR HELP, I WILL STOP FUNDING SCO'S ATTACK ON LINUX.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR HELP IN THIS MATTER
WILLIAM GATES

Wrong address

[GQuon]

All attendees should be aware that the contact address is wrong. The address on the page is the place where the conference will take place.

For registration, please send the registration fee and your address here:

Fede Raltra
Decom Mission
CRC-240
600 Penn Syl Vania Ave, NW
Wa Shing Ton, D.C. 20580
Nigeria

Sincerely yours
Fede Raltra

Slashjoke?

[dolbywan_kenobi]

Since Slashdot is now running tongue-in-cheek stories, for your entertainment here's one: http://www.blackpeopleloveus.com/

for you Hilton HHonors Members

[Multics]

For you Hilton HHonors members, there is also a Hilton not too far away:

Hilton Abuja

From their site:

Creditcard confirmation required

;-)

-- Multics

Re:for you Hilton HHonors Members

[Lachrymite]

As someone who has been living in Abuja, Nigeria for the past two months, I would like to say, watching people pay for their rooms at the Hilton can be pretty hilarious.

You get a better exchange rate on the currency black market, so most people transfer their cash there. The problem is you're bound to whatever bills they have. It costs like N20,000 per night to stay at the Hilton, and when a friend of mine was staying for a week, the biggest bill he got from the black market was N50, with a lot of N10 and N5. He had to have people truck in his money in wheelbarrows, and it took them 45 minutes using money counting machines to count it all.

the comma

[CySurflex]

What I want to know is - in this sentence:

"The hotel was very, very upscale. The running water was a nice touch! - Dr, Collins Mdadiwe

is the comma after "Dr"

• an actual authentic touch on the part of the guy that made this web page who found out after some research that they indeed use a comma in this manner in Nigeria
• a typo on his part
• part of the joke on the typos prevalent in these kinds of e-mails

Re:the comma

[GlassUser]

Probably related to many countries/languages using a comma where Americans use a decimal point and vice versa.

Have you read this?

[SkArcher]

Might be a spoof. Might not. All of it rings eerily plausible.

An MSN tech speaks

First Niggerian Spam Post!

[Anonymous Coward]

IMMEDIATE ATTENTION NEEDED :
HIGHLY CONFIDENTIAL

FROM: GEORGE WALKER BUSH
DEAR SIR/MADAM,

I AM GEORGE WALKER BUSH, SON OF THE FORMER PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA GEORGE HERBERT WALKER BUSH, AND CURRENTLY SERVING AS PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. THIS LETTER MIGHT SURPRISE YOU BECAUSE WE HAVE NOT MET NEITHER IN PERSON NOR BY CORRESPONDENCE. I CAME TO KNOW OF YOU IN MY SEARCH FOR A RELIABLE AND REPUTABLE PERSON TO HANDLE A VERY CONFIDENTIAL BUSINESS TRANSACTION, WHICH INVOLVES THE TRANSFER OF A HUGE SUM OF MONEY TO AN ACCOUNT REQUIRING MAXIMUM CONFIDENCE.

I AM WRITING YOU IN ABSOLUTE CONFIDENCE PRIMARILY TO SEEK YOUR ASSISTANCE IN ACQUIRING OIL FUNDS THAT ARE PRESENTLY TRAPPED IN THE REPUBLIC OF IRAQ. MY PARTNERS AND I SOLICIT YOUR ASSISTANCE IN COMPLETING A TRANSACTION BEGUN BY MY FATHER, WHO HAS LONG BEEN ACTIVELY ENGAGED IN THE EXTRACTION OF PETROLEUM IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, AND BRAVELY SERVED HIS COUNTRY AS DIRECTOR OF THE UNITED STATES CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE AGENCY.

IN THE DECADE OF THE NINETEEN-EIGHTIES, MY FATHER, THEN VICE-PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, SOUGHT TO WORK WITH THE GOOD OFFICES OF THE PRESIDENT OF THE REPUBLIC OF IRAQ TO REGAIN LOST OIL REVENUE SOURCES IN THE NEIGHBORING ISLAMIC REPUBLIC OF IRAN. THIS UNSUCCESSFUL VENTURE WAS SOON FOLLOWED BY A FALLING OUT WITH HIS IRAQI PARTNER, WHO SOUGHT TO ACQUIRE ADDITIONAL OIL REVENUE SOURCES IN THE NEIGHBORING EMIRATE OF KUWAIT, A WHOLLY-OWNED U.S.-BRITISH SUBSIDIARY.

MY FATHER RE-SECURED THE PETROLEUM ASSETS OF KUWAIT IN 1991 AT A COST OF SIXTY-ONE BILLION U.S. DOLLARS ($61,000,000,000). OUT OF THAT COST, THIRTY-SIX BILLION DOLLARS ($36,000,000,000) WERE SUPPLIED BY HIS PARTNERS IN THE KINGDOM OF SAUDI ARABIA AND OTHER PERSIAN GULF MONARCHIES, AND SIXTEEN BILLION DOLLARS ($16,000,000,000) BY GERMAN AND JAPANESE PARTNERS. BUT MY FATHER'S FORMER IRAQI BUSINESS PARTNER REMAINED IN CONTROL OF THE REPUBLIC OF IRAQ AND ITS PETROLEUM RESERVES.

MY FAMILY IS CALLING FOR YOUR URGENT ASSISTANCE IN FUNDING THE REMOVAL OF THE PRESIDENT OF THE REPUBLIC OF IRAQ AND ACQUIRING THE PETROLEUM ASSETS OF HIS COUNTRY, AS COMPENSATION FOR THE COSTS OF REMOVING HIM FROM POWER. UNFORTUNATELY, OUR PARTNERS FROM 1991 ARE NOT WILLING TO SHOULDER THE BURDEN OF THIS NEW VENTURE, WHICH IN ITS UPCOMING PHASE MAY COST THE SUM OF 100 BILLION TO 200 BILLION DOLLARS ($100,000,000,000 - $200,000,000,000), BOTH IN THE INITIAL ACQUISITION AND IN LONG-TERM MANAGEMENT.

WITHOUT THE FUNDS FROM OUR 1991 PARTNERS, WE WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO ACQUIRE THE OIL REVENUE TRAPPED WITHIN IRAQ. THAT IS WHY MY FAMILY AND OUR COLLEAGUES ARE URGENTLY SEEKING YOUR GRACIOUS ASSISTANCE. OUR DISTINGUISHED COLLEAGUES IN THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION INCLUDE THE SITTING VICE-PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, RICHARD CHENEY, WHO IS AN ORIGINAL PARTNER IN THE IRAQ VENTURE AND FORMER HEAD OF THE HALLIBURTON OIL COMPANY, AND CONDOLEEZA RICE, WHOSE PROFESSIONAL DEDICATION TO THE VENTURE WAS DEMONSTRATED IN THE NAMING OF A CHEVRON OIL TANKER AFTER HER.

I WOULD BESEECH YOU TO TRANSFER A SUM EQUALING TEN TO TWENTY-FIVE PERCENT (10-25 %) OF YOUR YEARLY INCOME TO OUR ACCOUNT TO AID IN THIS IMPORTANT VENTURE. THE INTERNAL REVENUE SERVICE OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA WILL FUNCTION AS OUR TRUSTED INTERMEDIARY. I PROPOSE THAT YOU MAKE THIS TRANSFER BEFORE THE FIFTEENTH (15TH) OF THE MONTH OF APRIL.

I KNOW THAT A TRANSACTION OF THIS MAGNITUDE WOULD MAKE ANYONE APPREHENSIVE AND WORRIED. BUT I AM ASSURING YOU THAT ALL WILL BE WELL AT THE END OF THE DAY. A BOLD STEP TAKEN SHALL NOT BE REGRETTED, I ASSURE YOU. PLEASE DO BE INFORMED THAT THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION IS 100% LEGAL. IF YOU DO NOT WISH TO CO-OPERATE IN THIS TRANSACTION, PLEASE CONTACT OUR INTERMEDIARY REPRESENTATIVES TO FURTHER DISCUSS THE MATTER.

I PRAY THAT YOU UNDERSTAND OUR PLIGHT. MY FAMILY AND OUR COLLEAGUES WILL BE FOREVER GRATEFUL. PLEASE REPLY IN STRICT CONFIDENCE TO THE CONTACT NUMBERS BELOW.

SINCERELY WITH WARM REGARDS,

GEORGE WALKER

Re:None of you guys think that website...

[chasingporsches]

if the spammers said that they were white people from great britain or the united states, we'd hate the spammers too. it's nothing about being racist.

Re:Jesus fucking christ

[Scrameustache]

Hey, we hate spammers of all colours! Our hatred spans all races, creeds and sexual orientation.

PS Die spammers die

Must-read link

[Anonymous Coward]

No discussion of the nigerian fee scam is complete without a link to the single funniest thing I've read from Slashdot: a guy who went to a lot of trouble to scam the scammers. Trust me, you'll like it.

Re:Jesus fucking christ

[Tsu Dho Nimh]

What's racist? If it were as commonly done by Danes as it is by Nigerians, we'd be lampooning the Danes. What proportion of the 419-style spam do you get that is from non-African sources (checking headers, phones, etc. and tracing follow-up email sources too). I have had exactly THREE that had no African links ... one claiming to be Cuban, via mexico, one Romanian coming from various European IP addresses, and one claiming to be Iraqui, but sending through a server in Ireland.

Reminds Me.

[The Cydonian]

We were arranging an essay competition once in my university. Because I was the chief editor (or some crappy designation) of a student club, I was supposed to come up with an email advert, which, after getting approved by the student club president, would have gotten mass-mailed to everyone in the faculty. Needless to say, I was pissed off with the arrangement; surely, there were better ways of spending a Sunday night. More to the point, writing emails wasn't fun.

So, as an effort at having some fun, while at the same time, creatively getting the message across, I took the George W Bush spam and modified it for university use:-

DEAR SIR / MADAM,
I AM MABABWE POBERABE, SON OF THE FORMER PRESIDENT OF ANCREDIA, JOHN HERPES POBERABE, AND CURRENTLY SERVING AS PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED BANK OF ANCREDIA. THIS LETTER MIGHT SURPRISE YOU BECAUSE WE HAVE NOT MET NEITHER IN PERSON NOR BY CORRESPONDENCE. I CAME TO KNOW OF YOU IN MY SEARCH FOR A RELIABLE AND REPUTABLE PERSON TO HANDLE A VERY CONFIDENTIAL BUSINESS TRANSACTION, WHICH INVOLVES THE TRANSFER OF A HUGE SUM OF MONEY TO AN ACCOUNT REQUIRING MAXIMUM CONFIDENCE.

I AM WRITING YOU IN ABSOLUTE CONFIDENCE PRIMARILY TO SEEK YOUR ASSISTANCE IN ACQUIRING CERTAIN DOCUMENTS RELATED TO FOUR SUBJECTS. MY PARTNERS AND I SOLICIT YOUR ASSISTANCE IN COMPLETING A TRANSACTION BEGUN BY MY FATHER, WHO HAS LONG BEEN ACTIVELY ENGAGED IN THE WILFUL CREATION OF TEXTS OF A HIGH QUALITY. IN THE DECADE OF THE NINETEEN-NINETIES, MY FATHER, THEN VICE-PRESIDENT OF ANCREDIA, SOUGHT TO WORK AND WRITE ON HIS GREAT ANCREDIAN NOVEL, BUT UNFORTUNATELY, OWING TO POLITICAL CONDITIONS THEN, HAD TO DEPOSE HIS RULER AND HAS BEEN BUSY EVER SINCE.

MY FAMILY IS CALLING FOR YOUR URGENT ASSISTANCE IN OBTAINING THE SAID PAPERS FOR YOUR ESTEEMED WRITING PLEASURE. INSPITE OF ALL THIS, WE HAVE RESOLVED TO PRESENT YOU WITH A SUM OF HUNDRED DOLLARS ($100) FOR YOUR EFFORT IF WE UNANIMOUSLY AGREE THAT YOURS IS THE BEST WRITING WE RECEIVE. THE NATURE OF YOUR GPA IS NOT RELEVANT TO THE SUCCESSFUL EXECUTION OF THIS TRANSACTION WHAT WE REQUIRE IS YOUR TOTAL CO-OPERATION AND COMMITMENT TO ENSURE 100% RISK-FREE TRANSACTION

I WOULD BESEECH YOU TO TRANSFER A PAPER EQUALING FIFTEEN HUNDRED TO TWO THOUSAND WORDS TO OUR WEBSITE ACCOUNT (<insert website address here>) TO AID IN THIS IMPORTANT VENTURE. THE CLUB OF <insert club name> OF <university> WILL FUNCTION AS OUR TRUSTED INTERMEDIARY. I PROPOSE THAT YOU MAKE THIS TRANSFER BEFORE MIDNIGHT OF THE NIGHT OF THE EIGHTH (8TH) OF THE MONTH OF MARCH.

I KNOW THAT A TRANSACTION OF THIS MAGNITUDE WOULD MAKE ANYONE APPREHENSIVE AND WORRIED. BUT I AM ASSURING YOU THAT ALL WILL BE WELL AT THE END OF THE DAY. A BOLD STEP TAKEN SHALL NOT BE REGRETTED, I ASSURE YOU. PLEASE DO BE INFORMED THAT THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION IS 100% LEGAL. IF YOU DO NOT WISH TO CO-OPERATE IN THIS TRANSACTION, PLEASE CONTACT OUR INTERMEDIARY REPRESENTATIVES TO FURTHER DISCUSS THE MATTER.

PLEASE REPLY IN STRICT CONFIDENCE TO THE WEBSITE ACCOUNT.

SINCERELY WITH WARM REGARDS,
MABABE POBERABE

--
Note:-
1) The rules and conditions set in the website are final and binding.
2) While the actual text is inspired by scam spam floating on the web, this in itself is a regular, legal, essay competition. Please check the website for more details.

Surprisingly enough, I had to mail my prez thrice to get this through; seems the first two times, he mistook it for an actual Nigerian scam. Poetic success I guess.

No, we didn't mass-mail this version.

OT: Re:really?

[spRed]

[Off Topic sig post]

Capitalism != (innovation|democracy|freedom)

You should change it to
Capitalism != Innovation != Democracy != Freedom

The way it is written implies it is against all those things instead of just an independent aspect of a society. I too get pissy when people say "democracy" but mean "everything we have." Democracy is just a good guard against change, which is why the first act of many democracies is to elect a dictator (think Africa) - a dictator is exactly what they had before.

Har Dee Har Har

[CmdrSanity]

Wow, that was funny. Nothing helps me get my jollies better than reading repetative email related humor, cleverly interpsersed with blatant racial stereotypes.

Of course, any reasonable person would spot this web site for what it is -- hateful -- and respond with well-deserved scorn. However, since I am typical Slashdot reader, I am so intellegent and above-the-fold that these lowly issues do not touch me. I am beyond the hard black and white of issues, able to see through to the underlying grey as Neo sees through to the underlying truth of the Matrix. And though I am an unparalleled genius, I'd rather not waste a nanosecond of my valuable time to think about what I am reading. No! Such consideratioins flit through my massive brain without impression, inconsequential as gnats swarming an elephant. After all, the site is Just. A. Joke. And as all enlightening minds know, the guise of humor makes any topic acceptable.

Even racism.

Ha Ha Haaaaa!

Well I'm going for the breakfast...

[joseph schmo]

Breakfast Kickoff Session
Your choice: A hard boiled egg, or two slices of white bread and a cricket

It's hard to find people who know how to make good cricket sandwiches anymore.

Create your own!

[AndroidCat]

This site makes it fun and easy to generate letters for your ligimite biziness proposals.

I call bullshit

[macdaddy]

That's bullshit. The Nigerian government IS part of the 419 scams. They always have been. There are numerous and confirmed accounts of people going to Nigeria to meet with the supposed Dr. Whatever or whatever title he claimed and being given tours of Nigerian Government buildings by people in the government. Saying that the Nigerian government isn't part of the scam is absolute bullshit. It's like saying that George W's administration didn't have a hand in bailing out Worldcom and lessoning the impact on the Enron execs. We all know what really happened there. Check your facts next time before you post. Oh, that's right. This is Slashdot. We don't check facts here.

Re:Jesus fucking christ

[kenjay]

Fox News tells me everything I need to know about the world, no passport necessary.

Re:Jesus fucking christ

[jcr]

Just usual pig-ignorant Ammurrican etho-centrism, again.

Well, that just bent the needle on the old irony meter! You have something against prejudice and racism, so you toss off some canard alleging ignorance on the part of 200 million people?

Did you ride to school on the little bus?

-jcr

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[Systems Curmudgeon]

Dear friend, You may be surprised to receive this letter from me since you do not know me personally, although I am sure you know me by reputation. I am William Gates, "Bill" to many, and as you know, a recent refugee from the company Mi*ft. I got your contact through network online hence decided to write you. Before my flight from the United States to Swaziland I had accumulated tens of billions of dollars which I secreted in several private security companies, foreseeing the looming dangers and my own personal risks in the U.S. This money was deposited in a few boxes in the form of compile-and-run ".net" modules to avoid much demurrage from the Security Companies. This amount was meant for the purchase of new machines and chemicals for the Farms and establishment of new farms in Swaziland. But I have traveled to the Netherlands and I am currently staying in the Netherlands where I am seeking political asylum and more so have decided to transfer my money to a more reliable foreign account. Since the law of Europe prohibits a refugee (asylum seeker) to open any bank account or to be involved in any financial transaction throughout the territorial zone of European Union. As the richest child of my father, I am saddled with the responsibility of seeking a genuine foreign account where this money could converted to cash and transferred without the knowledge of my government who are bent on taking everything we have got. The South African government seems to be playing along with them. I am faced with the dilemma of moving this amount of money through the Netherlands for fear of going through the same experience in future. Both countries have similar political history. I am seeking for a partner who I have to entrust my future and that of my family in his hands, I must let you know that this transaction is risk free. If you accept to assist me and my family, all I want you to do for me is to make arrangements with the security companies to clear the Consignment (funds) from their affiliate office here in the Netherlands as I have already given directives for the consignment to be brought to the Netherlands from South Africa. But before then all modalities will have to be put in place like change of ownership to the consignment. I have three options for you. Firstly you can choose to have certain percentage of the money for nominating your account for this transaction. Secondly I can share with you the backdoor login and password to the Passport system. Thirdly you can go into partnership with me for the proper profitable investment of the money in your country. Whichever the option you want, feel free to notify me. I have also mapped out 2% of this money for all kinds of expenses incurred in the process of this transaction. If you do not prefer a partnership I am willing to give you 10% of the money while the remaining 88% will be for my investment in your country. My goodness that's four alternatives, isn't it? Contact me immediately. I implore you to maintain the absolute secrecy required if you enter into this transaction. Thanks, BLESS YOU. Best regards. I know that there are many in this world who do not trust me very much so I am prepared for a difficult search to find my partner. Please pass ths plea on to those of your acquaintance who you know can be trusted with this information.