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SCO Gives Friday Deadline To IBM
bcisys writes "Reuters is reporting that SCO is planning to revoke IBM's license to Unix this Friday unless IBM settles SCO's claim that parts of its Unix code are being used in Linux. 'If we don't have a resolution by midnight on Friday the 13th, the AIX world will be a different place', SCO President and Chief Executive Darl McBride told Reuters News. 'We've basically mapped out what we will do. People will be running AIX without a valid license.'"
...Or I'll say Stop again!
I mean it this time too, pal.
SCO is sounding more and more like the meglomaniacal villian from an 80's movie.
At least that'll make everyone elses' lisences invalid just like mine.
Friday the 13th?! Is this a really bad movie, or what?
--Lawrence Lessig for Congress!
Perhaps April 1st would be a better deadline.
Vino, gyno, and techno -Bruce Sterling
The whole plot of the SCO vs. IBM saga.
We be the pirates of SCO! we tell you to pay up or face the consequences! Of us putting our blade threw the gully of Unix license. Arr you cant threaton us with the fact that you are 100 times larger then me, wont spare our bearly leagal clames to owning Unix! For we are pirates and arr above the law! now fork over your treasure!
If something is so important that you feel the need to post it on the internet... It probably isn't that important.
What does this really change though?
This seems like nothing more than a sneaky attempt by SCO to force IBM to settle.... Did SCO not check into IBM's operating profits before this announcement? This isn't a David and Goliath situation, this is a David VS. 4 Goliaths with Lasers.
And I want Goliath to win too.
Stupid SCO.
If I live the rest of my life and never hear the name of SCO again, that will be fine by me.
"Music is everybody's possession. It's only publishers who think that people own it." - John Lennon.
An SCO koan.
And the apprentice asked of the Master, "But the end user is not the infringing party. Why are they to be invalidated?"
The Master replied, "Are the children at fault if their father steals a loaf of bread to feed them?"
"No."
"Yet the baker sees the children eating, the produce of his ingredients" says the master.
The apprentice points out "The father owns the bakery. The baker stole the recipes, which were developed by the father's kin. Who owns the bread now?"
The Master became enlightened.
WHERE'S THE BEEF!!!
...make me point at the sign...
... I knew it! That's when McBride's car payment is due!
(I envision him on his kness.. Please... Please... PLEASE IBM!)
FLR
Hey editors and who ever submits these stories:
Can we do this OJ style? For example:
Trial of the Millenia: Day 47
It is now day 47 in the trial that rocked the geek world as SCO prepares to offer 5 more lines of evidence. Opinions have been mixed, has SCO now is suing IBM for mental anguish while Linus Torvalds has responded "[Expletive Deleted] SCO and their [Expletive Deleted] code". Defending lawyers are believed to try and have the case thrown out on the grounds of insanity on SCOs part. Stay tuned for more minute by minute coverage after these commercials.
Something like that? Come on lets add some day time television drama to this.
can't sleep slashdot will eat me
one fell swoop
No, no, NO! The phrase he is intending to use is
One Swell Foop.
>> Though, the people who might truly be worried are SCO's customers
Yep, I'll bet both of them are worried!
File under 'M' for 'Manic ranting'
SCO Gives Friday Deadline To IBM
-snip-
Apple: Apple Sued Over Unix Trademark
-snip-
So, SCO is going to bring IBM "to its knees" over UNIX, and Apple is being sued over UNIX.
This is getting silly.
I tihnk we need to develop a totally swanky GUI on top of VMS....errrr...oh...right...that's Windows...ummmmm....
I think we need to develop a totally swanky GUI on top of CP/M! There we go! Now, who owns CP/M?
Help me somebody - dogs and cats are LIVING TOGETHER!!!
RR
Shoes for Industry. Shoes for the Dead.
In recent months, some corporations have been doing their part. They have delivered public and private monies urging a settlement to leave with SCO, so that licensince can proceed peacefully. IBM has thus far refused. All the decades of deceit and cruelty have now reached an end. IBM and it's board of directors must leave IBM headquarters within 48 hours. Their refusal to do so will result in military conflict, commenced at a time of our choosing. For their own safety, all foreign workers -- including contractors and temporary employees -- should leave IBM immediately.
/tongue planted firmly in cheek
Many IBM employees can hear me tonight in a translated radio broadcast, and I have a message for them. If we must begin a military campaign, it will be directed against the lawless men who rule your company and not against you. As our lawyers take away their power, we will deliver the employment and medical benefits you need. We will tear down the apparatus of AIX and we will help you to build a new IBM that is prosperous and free. In a free IBM, there will be no more wars of aggression against UNIX, no more antiquated mainframes, no more skipped lunches, no more broken copier machines and TPS reports. The board of directors will soon be gone. The day of your liberation is near.
Hammer of Truth
nuff said...
A recent auction at the former soviet union insiders mentioned that several representatives of Internation Business Machines (IBM) were present and buying lots of hardware.
They were questioned about the use? possibly for research for their military contracts with the US government?"
the reply was not what was expected....
"No, we are gearing up for negotiations with a rival company that has been knocking on our door with insane claims for a while. the CEO last night in a fit of rage mentioned that he would love to see SCO just dissappear... so we decided to follow his orders... we figure these 75,000 pounds of conventional bombs will do the job, and suprisingly enough the US govt said that they would be glad to "drop ship" them for us."
we figure that the whole thing will settle within a few days...
No further comments were made, but one of the IBM representatives was overhead asking if it was going to be really loud, and can they swing by Redmond Washington if they have any leftovers...
Richard Head, UPN News...
Do not look at laser with remaining good eye.
Luke...
Yo, SCO! You don't matter. Your desperate attempts to scare up some royalties are falling on deaf ears. The parrot is dead and no, you don't get a refund.
.... please continue to hold ..... please continue to hold .... You owe FIFTEEN-THOUSAND FOUR-HUND-RED SIXTYSEVEN dollars and TWE-LVE cents. Press 1 to pay by check, press 2 to pay by credit card. *click*
SCO phone tree:
"Welcom to SCO, the leaders in leveraging mature intellectual property on de facto standards that we claim to own.
Press 1 if you need to pay your Linux royalties,
press 2 if you want to be a target of a shakedown,
press 3 if you are a cash cow that needs milking,
press 4 for if you use any of the following: hair-dryer, phone, toliet paper, keys; if unsure press 5.
*Beep* [5]. You may owe us money, please wait while we check your medical records, credit card receipts, and hard drive for mp3s, pr0n and dvd rips.
The biggest trick the devil pulled was letting lawyers become politicians so they can write the laws.
Or to paraphrase Apu,
"Hey, hey! I have asked you rudely not to mangle my copyrights. You leave me no choice but to ask you rudely again."
ClutterMe.com - easiest site creation on the Net. Just click and type.
In other news, IBM spokesperson John Ashton responded to SCO's reported Friday dealine by simply saying, "Blow me."
-- "Government is the great fiction through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else."
This ongoing story is riddled with absurdity, however, my favorite quote of the day has to be McBride's remark in Reuters' article.
Quoted from Reuters, "McBride said SCO's Unix intellectual property had been previously under-utilized by the company: 'We've spent the last couple of quarters waking the sleeping giant.'"
Yeah, I guess you could call suing IBM for a billion dollars "waking the sleeping giant."
...its the only right thing to do.
Cream pie in the face.
Oh that I'm on the far side of the world!
Can someone puleeze, one for McBride and one for the lawyer?
Darl McBride during the press conference made repeated invectives against IBM, culminating with his announcement with, "And we will revoke their license if IBM does not pay us... one... MILLION... dollars!" He then put his pinky near his mouth and ran off clutching a big fluffy cat, screaming somthing about the 'SCO Death Star.'
"I am an Adept of Tantric VAX."
Close examination of the giant black wave that was observed breaking over SCO headquarters Friday revealed that it was made up of billions of lawyers.
I'm hoping for...
"Wipe them out...
ALL of them..."
This time I'd be rooting for Palpatine...
"Oh my God. This is terrible. This is the end of my Presidency. I'm fucked."; ~ Donald J. Trump
Hahhaa..Okay, you're a CIO. Pick your response:
"Wow, okay, looks like we'll have to migrate our entire enterprise away from AIX as soon as possible!!"
-or-
"Bahahahahaha, OMG SCO is so fucking gay."
Bowie J. Poag
At 11:30PM on Friday the CEO of IBM should fax SCO a Xerox of his butt. That seems an appropriate response.
IBM?
You know you're a geek if you've ever replied to a tagline.
>>We always talk about SCO, SCO, SCO but I realized I have no clue about what IBM's response is...
Some possibilities:
Shoo fly.
Shut up and sit down.
Surely you're not talking to me like that. YOU couldn't possibly be THAT dumb right?
You got a problem? Wanna take it outside little man?
I thought I heard something like a threat. But it was probably just the wind.
Huh?
Worked with Iraq!
The real question of course is: what is it that they really don't want us to notice while they mount this ridiculous distraction?
Go to go now, there's someone at the door...
Protoplasm. Quiet Protoplasm. I like quiet protoplasm.
I guess we now know what happend to him.
McBitch: Gulp.
Friends don't help friends install M$ junk.
Y'know, this whole story reminds me of a quote in somebody's sig over on K5. IIRC, it was attributed to thurler, and goes something like this: "It seems to me that you're willfully entering into an arse-kicking contest against a monstrous entity with sixteen legs and no arse." Perhaps SCO should be told...
Interestingly, when I tried to copy&paste your comment, I got this error message:
:(
This exact comment has already been posted. Try to be more original...
If only the editors received such feedback.
deus does not exist but if he does
If anyone can make a good assesment of the situation without compromising any IP, its Richard M. Stallman. He should be allowed, paid even, to view all the documents and given time to make a critical assesment.
'nuff said...
from The Book of Mozilla, 3:30
(Red Letter Edition)
Patent: from Latin patere, to be open
Me, I'm waiting for...
"Find them and destroy them."
Or perhaps
"What good is a Ring of Power if you're unable...to Speak." - Agent Elrond
June 16, 2003 - Wahoo, Nebraska
Life support systems in emergency rooms all over the country suddenly stopped working this weekend when SCO terminated the IBM's AIX license. Wanker McBride, executive vice-president of DRM for SCO, said in a newsconference that this action was justified. "We just can't have people stealing our intellectual property, it's just not the American Way(tm)."
SCO announced a 11:00am MDT conference call on their web site, but when this reporter called the number, a recorded message said, "Could not complete your call as dialed, message 3027".
On an unrelated note, banks all over the country were unable to disburse funds this morning because their systems were down. Signs were spotted on many banks that said "Come back later, and bring last month's statement"
And oh yeah, you should see the line at the DMV now.
SCO's stock tumbled to $0.01, moments after the opening bell, amid fears of massive lawsuits
Ace of clubs -- Darl C. McBride
King of clubs -- Chris Sontag
Queen of clubs -- Robert K. Bench
Jack of clubs -- Opinder Bawa
10 of clubs -- Sean Wilson
9 of clubs -- Reg Broughton
8 of clubs -- Jeff Hunsaker
7 of clubs -- Larry Gasparro
Ace of spades -- Bill Gates
King of spades -- Steve Balmer
Queen of spades -- Craig Mundie
Joker -- United Linux
Joker -- Ransom Love
Doesn't it seem like SCO has become the North Korea of the software world?
Given the frequency of editorial reposts on Slashdot, I wouldn't have had to wait very long, would I?
deus does not exist but if he does
the world would be better off if they just upped and left the planet (voluntarily or by force, not picky)
In "The Restaurant at the End of the Universe", the planet of Golgafrincham sent the most useless third of its citizens off the planet on the "B Ark".
We just tell SCO the earth is headed for a tremendous disaster, but there's another planet waiting to be colonized. Of course, before everyone else gets there, there needs to be a Unix-based computer infrastructure set up.
"And they made sure they sent you lot off first, did they?" inquired Arthur.
"Oh yes," said that Captain, "well everyone said, very nicely I thought, that it was very important for morale to feel that they would be arriving on a planet where they could be sure of a good operating system and where the filesystems were clean."
SCO IS the Black Knight!
I'm not dead yet....really I'm not dead.
You can't kill me...I'm invincible...
(Youâ(TM)re a loony)
Hack-Hack-Thump...
Alright we'll call it a draw.
This SIG pulled due to lack of funding. (This damn war is costing too much!)
....Lou Gerstner and Linus Torvalds rushing into Ransom Love's office, ripping off his mask, revealing Bill Gates? I can picture it right now. "I would've gotten away with it too, if it weren't for your damn giant corporation, and your stupid penguin too!" ...sorry I'm just real tired of hearing SCO barking when they clearly need dentures before they can even try to bite. ;)
There was a
We turned off the M6 on to the M5, heading south towards Bristol. My wife asked me if I'd like to stop at the next services. I replied, "Frankley, my dear, I don't give a damn."
A rather weak pun, and hopelessly offtopic, I know - but I've got points to burn. ;-)
Every bloody emperor has his hand up history's skirt [Peter Hammill/VdGG]
Case #1:
>
#include<stdio.h>
#include<stdlib.h>
#inc lude<math.h>
#include<limits.h>
#include<time.h
More cases of flagrant copyright infrigement of System V source code by Linux kernal hackers is to come!
April 1, 2004: Today The SCO Group(formerly known as SCO/Caldera) sued 27 of its Linux customers for breaching SCO's IP rights on UNIX (tm).
... weed prices are going through the roof man ... and we're like, you know in UTAH for god's sake ..."
... this is Chewbacca ..."
Darl McBride, SCO's CEO has made the following statement:
"This move was made in the light of the fact that, like, you know, our case with IBM was thrown out of court on account that we were misleading the court in our complaint and like, you know, were trying to confuse the court on the issues of trade secrets and copyrights and like, you know, we didn't do anything to minimize our losses until we were waaaay down the drain."
Also, SCO's CEO declared that the company was strapped for cash, depriving the board of certain commodities: "Lately, there seems to be a crackdown of some kind
SCO's lawers declared that the grounds for the lawsuits are rock solid: "Well, it's obvious they stole it from us. Yes, we sold it to them, but we didn't know it was stolen from us. And even when we knew, we kept selling it for a couple of month, but look
Good luck, SCO, you're gonna need it.
Who cares if Linux is forced into death ? The Hurd will be ready any day now...
SCO: Noobody expects the SCO inquisition, our chief weapons are ...
....A ruthless devotion to Bill Gates
ONE fear
TWO surprise
THREE
There is no third thing. Um lets start again.
Noobody expects the SCO inquistion, our chief weapons are
ONE fear
TWO surprise
THREE
Cardinal Biggles Poke them with the SOFT CUSHIONS...
CONFESS, CONFESS......LINUX......CONFESS.
CARDINAL BIGGLES: Doesn't seem to be hurting him lord.
SCO: He must be made of tougher stuff.
as per the episode "Fear, Itself"
//Smoosh!//
Buffy: This is SCO?
Xander: Big overture. Leetle show.
SCO (in a tiny, high-pitched voice): I am the dark lord of nightmares. The bringer of terror! Tremble before me. Fear me!
Willow: He... he's so cute!
SCO: Tremble!
Xander: Who's the little fear demon? Come on, who's the little fear demon?
Giles: Don't taunt the fear demon.
Xander: Why, can he hurt me?
Giles: No. It's just... tacky.
SCO: They're all going to abandon you, you know.
Buffy: Yeah, yeah.
Gachnar: Wait, wai--
AyePee: June 11, 2003.
IBM released their landmark settlement to the SCO Unix patent infringement case today, delivering a surprising but pleasing outcome.
For the first time in the computer industry, IBM has decided to just eliminate the SCO Group from the face of the Earth using a team of highly paid professional killers. Headed by John Carmack, the inspiration for the Doom and Quake series, the team is being paid half of the proposed settlement fee of $1Billion to put a halt to SCO's inflammatory and pathetic attempts to bilk money out of supergiant corporation IBM.
A top IBM executive was quoted as saying: "Just deal with em', John. We expect nothing to be left. (evil laughter)."
Stockholders participating in the SCO Group are reported to be dumping their stocks at a record pace, and are shredding all records of any affiliations with the company.
A key player in the Group was able to tell us this amid his conversation with his stockbroker, "Despite the CEO's insistance that hiring a counter-team from Sierra will take care of this, I just don't think anything good is going to come of it. I mean, John Carmack? They say his Armidillo Aerospace Division has developed some sort of space-based weapon system. How do you deal with that on such a limited budget? No, I said sell, damnit!!! Sell."
We were unable to reach Mr. Carmack for comment due to his extensive preparations, but a representative stated that we would be able to watch their company's official position on the SCO Group in the new Doom video game. And that it would be bloody. Very bloody.
More updates and pictures of the destruction of SCO Group headquarters will be available sometime next week.
DISCLAIMER: Everything said here is the copyright of everybody you think it is, and hopefully none of this is true. Please don't sue me!