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SCO Gives Friday Deadline To IBM

bcisys writes "Reuters is reporting that SCO is planning to revoke IBM's license to Unix this Friday unless IBM settles SCO's claim that parts of its Unix code are being used in Linux. 'If we don't have a resolution by midnight on Friday the 13th, the AIX world will be a different place', SCO President and Chief Executive Darl McBride told Reuters News. 'We've basically mapped out what we will do. People will be running AIX without a valid license.'"

67 of 914 comments (clear)

  1. Stop!! by craenor · · Score: 5, Funny

    ...Or I'll say Stop again!

    I mean it this time too, pal.

    1. Re:Stop!! by grub · · Score: 5, Funny


      Why the hell is IBM putting up with this crap?

      They're buying time. At 12:01 AM Saturday morning SCO's creditors will be backing up the moving vans... ;)

      --
      Trolling is a art,
    2. Re:Stop!! by Guppy06 · · Score: 5, Funny

      In other news, IBM's public relations department issued a very large yawn, immediately followed with "I'm sorry, did you say something?"

    3. Re:Stop!! by outsider007 · · Score: 5, Funny

      does this mean /. will stop posting sco stories on saturday? yay!

      --
      If you mod me down the terrorists will have won
    4. Re:Stop!! by AJWM · · Score: 4, Funny

      (What the hell kind of name is "Darl" anyway? Did they mean to type in "Carl", but slip up?)

      I don't know, maybe he was named "Darlene" before the SC operation?

      --
      -- Alastair
    5. Re:Stop!! by yourmom16 · · Score: 2, Funny

      No we'll still have dupes about SCO for weeks.

      --
      "We have got to make Stan understand the importance of voting, because he'll definitely vote for our guy." - South Park
    6. Re:Stop!! by dbrower · · Score: 2, Funny
      Phythonesqe- indeed, a certain Miss Anne Elk comes to mind. "This theory, which is mine..."

      -dB

      --
      "It if was easy to do, we'd find someone cheaper than you to do it."
    7. Re:Stop!! by jimmyharris · · Score: 2, Funny

      I don't know, maybe he was named "Darlene" before the SC operation?

      Known as SCO for short...

  2. Release the ninjas... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    SCO is sounding more and more like the meglomaniacal villian from an 80's movie.

    1. Re:Release the ninjas... by Mohammed+Al-Sahaf · · Score: 5, Funny
      We will slaughter them all, the International gang of bastard pirates! They are retreating on all fronts. Their legal effort is a subject of laughter throughout the world. In a few days, you will all witness something that can only be considered very beautiful against IBM. That, I assure you. We feed them death and hell!

      Mohammed al-Sahaf (now SCO press spokesman)

      --
      Former Iraqi Information Minister Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf
    2. Re:Release the ninjas... by wideBlueSkies · · Score: 5, Funny

      IBM employees are commiting suicide at the walls of Santa Cruz. There are no IBM employees anywhere despite what the infidel media tells you (big blue tank rolls by). Darl is alive an well and is vowing revenge on the infidels. Even now the infidel pirates are pinned down while our brave sons and lawyers vigorously fight for our Intellectual Property. (in the distance we see raged SCO employees who haven't been paid for months hugging and kissing the IBM lawyers)......

      --
      Huh?
    3. Re:Release the ninjas... by Fesh · · Score: 3, Funny

      calÂdeÂra n. - A large crater formed by volcanic explosion or by collapse of a volcanic cone.

      (Adapted from dictionary.com)

      This story has been going on for a couple of months now... Has anyone yet remarked on how apt and prescient that name was? SCO is certainly headed for a cratering after collapsing...

      --
      --Fesh
      Kill -9 'em all, let root@localhost sort 'em out.
  3. A Valid License? by banal+avenger · · Score: 5, Funny

    At least that'll make everyone elses' lisences invalid just like mine.

  4. Friday the 13th?! by wfrp01 · · Score: 4, Funny

    Friday the 13th?! Is this a really bad movie, or what?

    --

    --Lawrence Lessig for Congress!
    1. Re:Friday the 13th?! by retto · · Score: 5, Funny

      Yep...too much hype beforehand, the plot sucks, everyone knows how it is going to end, and it is probably only the first of a series.

    2. Re:Friday the 13th?! by Carrion+Creeper · · Score: 5, Funny

      A dark room.
      blinking lights in the corner (like, servers maybe?)

      Sysadmin looks up as the door to a lighted hallway opens, and takes on a look of horror as a long bladed glove casts a shadow across the room
      Sysadmin: "Noooooo!"

      A figure runs around the doorframe. A little mouse with spiky hair and a bad attitude. Sysadmin steps on it.

      Cue credits.

  5. SCO are a bad joke by sbszine · · Score: 5, Funny

    Perhaps April 1st would be a better deadline.

    --

    Vino, gyno, and techno -Bruce Sterling

  6. just like the movies by 73939133 · · Score: 5, Funny
  7. Arr Laddy! by jellomizer · · Score: 3, Funny

    We be the pirates of SCO! we tell you to pay up or face the consequences! Of us putting our blade threw the gully of Unix license. Arr you cant threaton us with the fact that you are 100 times larger then me, wont spare our bearly leagal clames to owning Unix! For we are pirates and arr above the law! now fork over your treasure!

    --
    If something is so important that you feel the need to post it on the internet... It probably isn't that important.
  8. Changes? by jeffkjo1 · · Score: 5, Funny

    What does this really change though?

    This seems like nothing more than a sneaky attempt by SCO to force IBM to settle.... Did SCO not check into IBM's operating profits before this announcement? This isn't a David and Goliath situation, this is a David VS. 4 Goliaths with Lasers.

    And I want Goliath to win too.

    Stupid SCO.

    1. Re:Changes? by nhavar · · Score: 3, Funny

      But SCO has a pool full of deadly mutant bass.

      --
      "Do not be swept up in the momentum of mediocrity." - anon
    2. Re:Changes? by The_Shadows · · Score: 2, Funny

      They may have mutant bass, but all they every really wanted was sharks with fricking laser beams on their heads.

  9. Make it stop mommy...MAKE IT STOP!! by ScottGant · · Score: 4, Funny

    If I live the rest of my life and never hear the name of SCO again, that will be fine by me.

    --

    "Music is everybody's possession. It's only publishers who think that people own it." - John Lennon.
  10. An SCO koan. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    An SCO koan.

    And the apprentice asked of the Master, "But the end user is not the infringing party. Why are they to be invalidated?"

    The Master replied, "Are the children at fault if their father steals a loaf of bread to feed them?"

    "No."

    "Yet the baker sees the children eating, the produce of his ingredients" says the master.

    The apprentice points out "The father owns the bakery. The baker stole the recipes, which were developed by the father's kin. Who owns the bread now?"

    The Master became enlightened.

  11. Wendys revival by MazTaim · · Score: 2, Funny

    WHERE'S THE BEEF!!!

  12. Is that even possible? by Kris_J · · Score: 5, Funny
    People will be running AIX without a valid license.
    You mean it's possible to run software without a license? Anyone got a web page with instructions on how to do this?
  13. DO NOT by poptones · · Score: 4, Funny

    ...make me point at the sign...

    1. Re:DO NOT by torenth · · Score: 3, Funny

      "...we wait your tables, we pump your gas. We guard you while you sleep. Do not f*** with us." -Tyler Durden

      I couldn't resist.

      --
      'Phone-jacking: Give someone a ring, they'll have to answer to find out who it is!' - Threni
    2. Re:DO NOT by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      "We answer your tech support calls, we pump your packets. We gaurd your systems while you sleep. Do not fuck with us" - Slashdot

  14. Of course! by Cytlid · · Score: 2, Funny

    ... I knew it! That's when McBride's car payment is due!

    (I envision him on his kness.. Please... Please... PLEASE IBM!)

    --
    FLR
  15. Please... by powerlinekid · · Score: 5, Funny

    Hey editors and who ever submits these stories:

    Can we do this OJ style? For example:

    Trial of the Millenia: Day 47
    It is now day 47 in the trial that rocked the geek world as SCO prepares to offer 5 more lines of evidence. Opinions have been mixed, has SCO now is suing IBM for mental anguish while Linus Torvalds has responded "[Expletive Deleted] SCO and their [Expletive Deleted] code". Defending lawyers are believed to try and have the case thrown out on the grounds of insanity on SCOs part. Stay tuned for more minute by minute coverage after these commercials.

    Something like that? Come on lets add some day time television drama to this.

    --

    can't sleep slashdot will eat me
  16. Re:Offtopic: Fell swoop by the+eric+conspiracy · · Score: 2, Funny

    one fell swoop

    No, no, NO! The phrase he is intending to use is
    One Swell Foop.

  17. Re:They really think they can scare IBM's customer by doomdog · · Score: 5, Funny

    >> Though, the people who might truly be worried are SCO's customers

    Yep, I'll bet both of them are worried!

  18. Re:I smell IBM - SCO lawsuit coming up by mark-t · · Score: 2, Funny
    Everyone hates SCO more than Microsoft now
    I'm too busy laughing at SCO to hate them. The stuff they've been spouting off lately is funnier than most professional standup comedians. I'm quite convinced now that SCO's lawyers are merely figments of someone's overactive imagination.
  19. it's upside down world! by Ralph+Spoilsport · · Score: 2, Funny
    on /. we see the following:

    SCO Gives Friday Deadline To IBM
    -snip-

    Apple: Apple Sued Over Unix Trademark
    -snip-

    So, SCO is going to bring IBM "to its knees" over UNIX, and Apple is being sued over UNIX.

    This is getting silly.

    I tihnk we need to develop a totally swanky GUI on top of VMS....errrr...oh...right...that's Windows...ummmmm....

    I think we need to develop a totally swanky GUI on top of CP/M! There we go! Now, who owns CP/M?

    Help me somebody - dogs and cats are LIVING TOGETHER!!!

    RR

    --
    Shoes for Industry. Shoes for the Dead.
  20. IBM, you have 48 hours by smack_attack · · Score: 5, Funny

    In recent months, some corporations have been doing their part. They have delivered public and private monies urging a settlement to leave with SCO, so that licensince can proceed peacefully. IBM has thus far refused. All the decades of deceit and cruelty have now reached an end. IBM and it's board of directors must leave IBM headquarters within 48 hours. Their refusal to do so will result in military conflict, commenced at a time of our choosing. For their own safety, all foreign workers -- including contractors and temporary employees -- should leave IBM immediately.

    Many IBM employees can hear me tonight in a translated radio broadcast, and I have a message for them. If we must begin a military campaign, it will be directed against the lawless men who rule your company and not against you. As our lawyers take away their power, we will deliver the employment and medical benefits you need. We will tear down the apparatus of AIX and we will help you to build a new IBM that is prosperous and free. In a free IBM, there will be no more wars of aggression against UNIX, no more antiquated mainframes, no more skipped lunches, no more broken copier machines and TPS reports. The board of directors will soon be gone. The day of your liberation is near. /tongue planted firmly in cheek

  21. Hey SCO ! Bite my Shiny Metal Ass by Dolphinzilla · · Score: 2, Funny

    nuff said...

  22. in other news.... by Lumpy · · Score: 4, Funny

    A recent auction at the former soviet union insiders mentioned that several representatives of Internation Business Machines (IBM) were present and buying lots of hardware.

    They were questioned about the use? possibly for research for their military contracts with the US government?"

    the reply was not what was expected....

    "No, we are gearing up for negotiations with a rival company that has been knocking on our door with insane claims for a while. the CEO last night in a fit of rage mentioned that he would love to see SCO just dissappear... so we decided to follow his orders... we figure these 75,000 pounds of conventional bombs will do the job, and suprisingly enough the US govt said that they would be glad to "drop ship" them for us."

    we figure that the whole thing will settle within a few days...

    No further comments were made, but one of the IBM representatives was overhead asking if it was going to be really loud, and can they swing by Redmond Washington if they have any leftovers...

    Richard Head, UPN News...

    --
    Do not look at laser with remaining good eye.
  23. Re:Wrong way down a one way street... by The+Bungi · · Score: 4, Funny
    Use the

    Luke...

  24. Time to dip SCOnes into some reality coffee. by SkewlD00d · · Score: 2, Funny

    Yo, SCO! You don't matter. Your desperate attempts to scare up some royalties are falling on deaf ears. The parrot is dead and no, you don't get a refund.

    SCO phone tree:

    "Welcom to SCO, the leaders in leveraging mature intellectual property on de facto standards that we claim to own.

    Press 1 if you need to pay your Linux royalties,
    press 2 if you want to be a target of a shakedown,
    press 3 if you are a cash cow that needs milking,
    press 4 for if you use any of the following: hair-dryer, phone, toliet paper, keys; if unsure press 5.

    *Beep* [5]. You may owe us money, please wait while we check your medical records, credit card receipts, and hard drive for mp3s, pr0n and dvd rips. .... please continue to hold ..... please continue to hold .... You owe FIFTEEN-THOUSAND FOUR-HUND-RED SIXTYSEVEN dollars and TWE-LVE cents. Press 1 to pay by check, press 2 to pay by credit card. *click*

    --
    The biggest trick the devil pulled was letting lawyers become politicians so they can write the laws.
  25. Obligatory Simpsons reference by Z0mb1eman · · Score: 5, Funny

    Or to paraphrase Apu,

    "Hey, hey! I have asked you rudely not to mangle my copyrights. You leave me no choice but to ask you rudely again."

    --
    ClutterMe.com - easiest site creation on the Net. Just click and type.
  26. In other news... by Loki_1929 · · Score: 5, Funny

    In other news, IBM spokesperson John Ashton responded to SCO's reported Friday dealine by simply saying, "Blow me."

    --
    -- "Government is the great fiction through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else."
  27. Re:Chill over Unix by Daimaou · · Score: 5, Funny

    This ongoing story is riddled with absurdity, however, my favorite quote of the day has to be McBride's remark in Reuters' article.

    Quoted from Reuters, "McBride said SCO's Unix intellectual property had been previously under-utilized by the company: 'We've spent the last couple of quarters waking the sleeping giant.'"

    Yeah, I guess you could call suing IBM for a billion dollars "waking the sleeping giant."

  28. IBM: Sue them into oblivion by FLoWCTRL · · Score: 2, Funny

    ...its the only right thing to do.

  29. Cream pies in the Face! by refactored · · Score: 2, Funny
    That's the answer.

    Cream pie in the face.

    Oh that I'm on the far side of the world!

    Can someone puleeze, one for McBride and one for the lawyer?

  30. During the press conference.... by Caraig · · Score: 2, Funny

    Darl McBride during the press conference made repeated invectives against IBM, culminating with his announcement with, "And we will revoke their license if IBM does not pay us... one... MILLION... dollars!" He then put his pinky near his mouth and ran off clutching a big fluffy cat, screaming somthing about the 'SCO Death Star.'

    --
    "I am an Adept of Tantric VAX."
  31. The Wave by the+eric+conspiracy · · Score: 2, Funny

    Close examination of the giant black wave that was observed breaking over SCO headquarters Friday revealed that it was made up of billions of lawyers.

  32. Re:I's like to know if... by Gojira+Shipi-Taro · · Score: 4, Funny

    I'm hoping for...

    "Wipe them out...

    ALL of them..."

    This time I'd be rooting for Palpatine...

    --
    "Oh my God. This is terrible. This is the end of my Presidency. I'm fucked."; ~ Donald J. Trump
  33. OH GOD NO by Bowie+J.+Poag · · Score: 2, Funny


    Hahhaa..Okay, you're a CIO. Pick your response:

    "Wow, okay, looks like we'll have to migrate our entire enterprise away from AIX as soon as possible!!"

    -or-

    "Bahahahahaha, OMG SCO is so fucking gay."

    --
    Bowie J. Poag

  34. A clear message. by pergamon · · Score: 5, Funny

    At 11:30PM on Friday the CEO of IBM should fax SCO a Xerox of his butt. That seems an appropriate response.

  35. Who does SCO think they are? by RealBeanDip · · Score: 4, Funny

    IBM?

    --

    You know you're a geek if you've ever replied to a tagline.

  36. Re:I's like to know if... by wideBlueSkies · · Score: 4, Funny

    >>We always talk about SCO, SCO, SCO but I realized I have no clue about what IBM's response is...

    Some possibilities:

    Shoo fly.

    Shut up and sit down.

    Surely you're not talking to me like that. YOU couldn't possibly be THAT dumb right?

    You got a problem? Wanna take it outside little man?

    I thought I heard something like a threat. But it was probably just the wind.

    --
    Huh?
  37. Re:is this extortion? by Drishmung · · Score: 5, Funny
    You forgot the Bavarian Illuminati (which is the only thing that really explains this whole farrago).

    The real question of course is: what is it that they really don't want us to notice while they mount this ridiculous distraction?

    Go to go now, there's someone at the door...

    --
    Protoplasm. Quiet Protoplasm. I like quiet protoplasm.
  38. Settlement offer. by twitter · · Score: 4, Funny
    IBM to McBitch: You and me go out back. You sell your stocks, give us all money, we kick you in the balls and call it even, OK? That way we don't waste a lot of time and you save youself a lot more embarassment.

    McBitch: Gulp.

    --

    Friends don't help friends install M$ junk.

  39. Open a can of whup-ass... by danb35 · · Score: 2, Funny

    Y'know, this whole story reminds me of a quote in somebody's sig over on K5. IIRC, it was attributed to thurler, and goes something like this: "It seems to me that you're willfully entering into an arse-kicking contest against a monstrous entity with sixteen legs and no arse." Perhaps SCO should be told...

  40. Re:Nah by kubrick · · Score: 3, Funny

    Interestingly, when I tried to copy&paste your comment, I got this error message:

    This exact comment has already been posted. Try to be more original...

    If only the editors received such feedback. :(

    --
    deus does not exist but if he does
  41. let RMS look at both with no NDA ... by polished+look+2 · · Score: 3, Funny

    If anyone can make a good assesment of the situation without compromising any IP, its Richard M. Stallman. He should be allowed, paid even, to view all the documents and given time to make a critical assesment.

  42. The Prophesy of Mozilla! by s-orbital · · Score: 2, Funny
    "And lo, on the 13th day, the day of Frigg, a terrible beast of the Antarctic adorned with a robe of deep blue, shall appear and shall smite the golden image before it. The beast shall slay the enemy, and it shall dance victoriously. But verily, the beast shall neither subside nor slumber, for indeed it shall rise yet higher."

    from The Book of Mozilla, 3:30
    (Red Letter Edition)

    --
    Patent: from Latin patere, to be open
  43. Re:I's like to know if... by dillon_rinker · · Score: 5, Funny

    Me, I'm waiting for...
    "Find them and destroy them."

    Or perhaps
    "What good is a Ring of Power if you're unable...to Speak." - Agent Elrond

  44. Re:Imagine how this would look with DRM by kotfu · · Score: 3, Funny

    June 16, 2003 - Wahoo, Nebraska

    Life support systems in emergency rooms all over the country suddenly stopped working this weekend when SCO terminated the IBM's AIX license. Wanker McBride, executive vice-president of DRM for SCO, said in a newsconference that this action was justified. "We just can't have people stealing our intellectual property, it's just not the American Way(tm)."

    SCO announced a 11:00am MDT conference call on their web site, but when this reporter called the number, a recorded message said, "Could not complete your call as dialed, message 3027".

    On an unrelated note, banks all over the country were unable to disburse funds this morning because their systems were down. Signs were spotted on many banks that said "Come back later, and bring last month's statement"

    And oh yeah, you should see the line at the DMV now.

    SCO's stock tumbled to $0.01, moments after the opening bell, amid fears of massive lawsuits

  45. Re:Nah by kubrick · · Score: 2, Funny

    Given the frequency of editorial reposts on Slashdot, I wouldn't have had to wait very long, would I?

    --
    deus does not exist but if he does
  46. The Black Knight by Martigan80 · · Score: 4, Funny

    SCO IS the Black Knight!

    I'm not dead yet....really I'm not dead.
    You can't kill me...I'm invincible...
    (Youâ(TM)re a loony)
    Hack-Hack-Thump...
    Alright we'll call it a draw.

    --
    This SIG pulled due to lack of funding. (This damn war is costing too much!)
  47. Am I the only one expecting.... by Tiny+Wolf+v3 · · Score: 2, Funny

    ....Lou Gerstner and Linus Torvalds rushing into Ransom Love's office, ripping off his mask, revealing Bill Gates? I can picture it right now. "I would've gotten away with it too, if it weren't for your damn giant corporation, and your stupid penguin too!" ...sorry I'm just real tired of hearing SCO barking when they clearly need dentures before they can even try to bite. ;)

    --
    There was a .sig here. It's gone now.
  48. SCO reveals infringing code!!! by stygar · · Score: 5, Funny

    Case #1:

    #include<stdio.h>
    #include<stdlib.h>
    #inc lude<math.h>
    #include<limits.h>
    #include<time.h>

    More cases of flagrant copyright infrigement of System V source code by Linux kernal hackers is to come!

  49. SCO sues Linux customers by damas · · Score: 5, Funny

    April 1, 2004: Today The SCO Group(formerly known as SCO/Caldera) sued 27 of its Linux customers for breaching SCO's IP rights on UNIX (tm).

    Darl McBride, SCO's CEO has made the following statement:
    "This move was made in the light of the fact that, like, you know, our case with IBM was thrown out of court on account that we were misleading the court in our complaint and like, you know, were trying to confuse the court on the issues of trade secrets and copyrights and like, you know, we didn't do anything to minimize our losses until we were waaaay down the drain."

    Also, SCO's CEO declared that the company was strapped for cash, depriving the board of certain commodities: "Lately, there seems to be a crackdown of some kind ... weed prices are going through the roof man ... and we're like, you know in UTAH for god's sake ..."

    SCO's lawers declared that the grounds for the lawsuits are rock solid: "Well, it's obvious they stole it from us. Yes, we sold it to them, but we didn't know it was stolen from us. And even when we knew, we kept selling it for a couple of month, but look ... this is Chewbacca ..."

    Good luck, SCO, you're gonna need it.

  50. Who cares ? by stud9920 · · Score: 2, Funny

    Who cares if Linux is forced into death ? The Hurd will be ready any day now...

  51. As per Buffy by monopole · · Score: 2, Funny

    as per the episode "Fear, Itself"
    Buffy: This is SCO?
    Xander: Big overture. Leetle show.
    SCO (in a tiny, high-pitched voice): I am the dark lord of nightmares. The bringer of terror! Tremble before me. Fear me!
    Willow: He... he's so cute!
    SCO: Tremble!
    Xander: Who's the little fear demon? Come on, who's the little fear demon?
    Giles: Don't taunt the fear demon.
    Xander: Why, can he hurt me?
    Giles: No. It's just... tacky.

    SCO: They're all going to abandon you, you know.
    Buffy: Yeah, yeah.
    Gachnar: Wait, wai-- //Smoosh!//