Slashdot Mirror
Sexual Harassment for Consultants?
Medcoop asks: "My friend is working as a consultant for a government institution, and is having a difficult time with his direct supervisor (the person who hired and manages him). She has been repeatedly asking him out (even though she is several decades his senior), and keeps referencing her preference for younger men. This isn't exactly sexual harassment, however, as he hasn't said 'No, and please stop asking.' The problem is that if he says the above, there won't be any more work for him there. He's not really fired, but just not asked back for other work. Where does this situation fall with respect to the law? Does anyone have any advice for him?"
Then that is sexual harassment, and he can treat it as such. Have him start documenting it.
Self mutilation?
It could be painful but may stop the old lady wanting some of his fine consulting ass.
I'd suggest consulting an attorney on the subject. Asking for legal advice on slashdot is somewhat foolish.
Understand the title of this post?
Slashdot, a online news reposting service that focuses on whatever "news" and the odd user contribution that appeals to the readership (or editors)
It's not a free legal consultation service. Notice the number lf "IANAL"s? That should give you a clue to start looking elsewhere for senseable legal advice...
(Yeah, yeah, it's trollish, but all these sort of questions on ask slashdot are getting to me)
Yep.. I say take one for the team and do her. He may be pleasently suprised... :)
"Those who make peaceful revolution impossible, make violent revolution inevitable" - JFK
sue for millions and retire early! hooray!
he's not really an employee, and thus can't be fired. No-one has the right to be contracted as an outside consultant, and having several deals as an outside consultant does not in any way constitute any kind of obligation.
The choice is simple for him. He can simply ask her to stop asking him out, and say no. If she continues, it's sexual harassment. If not, it isn't. If she stops using him as an outside consultant, then it's tough shit for him, for the above-reasons.
Consider this scenario. I regularly go to a hair-stylist who's a attractive woman, and regularly ask her out, and make comments about how pretty she is. She's more than welcomed to ask me to stop, and then if I continue, it's sexual harassment. But if I stop going there, then she has no legal grounds on which to complain.
Indeed, there is a good argument to be made that I was just doing whatever I could to obey the law, since -- being around her -- I just couldn't resist asking her that.
social sciences can never use experience to verify their statemen
This isn't exactly sexual harassment, however, as he hasn't said 'No, and please stop asking.'
So why hasn't he told her to stop? Maybe she doesn't realize how much it's bothering him. Hell, from your description it's not even clear to me how much it's bothing him. If it's not that big of a bother to him, then he should just bare it. If it is creeping him out, then he needs to tell her that and not be a coward about not getting asked back for more work. Is this his only client or something? Part of the joy of being a consultant is that you can pick and choose your employer. He doesn't have to put up with that shit unless he wants to.
I don't understand why you are asking us about it. It seems like his course of action should be clear *if* he is clear about his own feelings on the matter. Either it's a big deal to him or it isn't.
GMD
watch this
Jesus, your not a victem, tell her no, and if THEN you find you have no work, go to court and try to prove she fired you because you wouldnt go out with her.
:P
Everyone seems to this this is such a problem, just tell her no!
No I didnt spell check this post...
He could pretend to be gay - subtle at first and then more 'out' about it.
He could also meet a girlfriend/fiancé for lunch, and plan it so that his boss sees his partner. This partner could be just a friend - the boss is not likely to know the difference.
Or he could combine both of the above and meet a pretend boyfriend for lunch?
Definately document the harassment - to use just in case the situation gets worse.
He's a consultant. Big difference. Simply having gone to a consultant several times in no way obligates an individual to continually go to that consultant. She could refuse to have him back as a consultant because she didn't like a tick in his gesture, or for any other reason she could come up with.
social sciences can never use experience to verify their statemen
Consider this scenario. I regularly go to a hair-stylist who's a attractive woman, and regularly ask her out, and make comments about how pretty she is. She's more than welcomed to ask me to stop, and then if I continue, it's sexual harassment.
I'm not sure she could claim sexual harassment since you don't have any power over her. It's not like you're her boss. It may not be particularly nice of you but I don't think she would have any legal recourse against you. Most likely she would simply refuse to allow you into her shop. If she kept letting you be a customer even with your past, unwanted advances towards her, I think she'd have a hard time convincing the court that she was being coerced into sexual relations with you.
GMD
watch this
Yeah, a good women is like a fine wine, she gets better with age.
Tell him to just go out with her. geez. He's got a chance to move up in the world by sleeping with the boss and he's passing it up?
Wrong. It can be interpreted as sexual harassment regardless of your reluctance to state it as a problem. However, nothing can be done unless you alert the issue to the next person in line of management. When a manager is the source of sexual harassment, the liability on your employer is higher. If this woman has "hire and fire" abilities, she is potentially costing your company a great amount of money, and should be alerted to begin with. Second, while you may not want to sue the person, filing a BOLI (or equivalent to your jurisdiction) complaint against your employer, who cannot legally retaliate against you in any way.)
Your status as a consultant (as ,I a person who merely works in an employment defense law firm and reads dozens of pleadings of this nature a day, can advise you) may complicate matters, but shouldn't entirely limit your employer's liability.
Examine any handbook that you received. You can easily construe your work environment as being hostile because of this as well, claim (dis)stress damages, and onward.
But... I have a feeling that you just want this to stop, and talking to a higher level supervisor should solve your problem quickly. Be sure to exhaust any administrative remedies as you can muster. There are always better ways to solve a problem than litigation.
I am not a lawyer, etc. etc.
d. Taylor Singletary,
reality technician techra.el
so, by implication, you're saying that it is ok for a woman to hit a man, no matter what? sorry, you can't have it both ways. it's either ok for both to punch each other out or it's not. that being said, you won't find me throwing the first punch, but you will most definitely be finding me throwing the last one.
as for his friend's problem, maybe he should start carrying around a mini tape-recorder and recording these conversations? that way is ass is covered if she ever starts bad mouthing him.
so what, he's 20 and she's 90?
come on! bang the old lady and get it over with!
suck it up, put on a condom, and friggin bang her.
show some friggin respect, whippersnappers these days......
1. Ball grandma
2. ??????
3. Profit!
How about the classic way of turning someone away without rejecting them - "You know, I'd love to, but I don't think my [boyfriend/girlfriend/fiancee] would like that." (Said in a friendly, joking manner).
Or if the harrassment is more subtle, start bringing up the (possibly fictional) significant other in casual conversation - "My [boyfriend/girlfriend/fiancee] saw that movie and loved it!" etc., to give the impression that he is simply not available.
That way your friend won't have to overtly offend this lady and runs the risk of being fired only if the sexual/romantic interest is the ONLY reason he's been getting contracts in the first place.
Ok, that was a little bit smug...but, hey, I'm entitled to be a jerk once in a while...ok, maybe once or twice a week...ok, maybe once or twice a day...ok, maybe all the time
social sciences can never use experience to verify their statemen
Your friend should go the the Human Resources department, and file a complaint.
Then, if your friend's contract is terminated without cause, he can bring a whistle-blower suit.
But I doubt that will happen. I think this is a more likely scenario:
Your Friend <knocks on doorframe>
HR person: Hello, come in, how may I help you?
YF: Well, it's like this - I'm a contractor, and my supervisor from this shop keeps hitting on me. I've asked her to stop, but she keeps doing it. Here's a copy of the last letter I wrote to her about it....
HR <snatching letter>: Let me see that. Hmmmmm, ummmhmmm. OK. Do you wish to file a formal complaint?
YF: I'd like this to stop. If it stops without a complaint, that would be best, but....
HR: OK. Excuse me. I must go kill somebody now. <Exits office at warp speed.>
Believe me - IF your friend documents the request to stop the harrasment, they will be VERY careful about any action against him - even if they WERE going to terminate his contract for some other reason, they will make sure to have all their ducks, their friend's ducks, and any ducks that happen to be passing by on migration in a row before they do.
Whistle-blower suits cause a lot a pain and suffering to organizations....
www.eFax.com are spammers
I think he should recompile his kernel.
Hey, ask Slashdot a question, get a Slashdot answer.
In other news, Which Law Blog Can Advise Me About SDRAM?
maybe you should hint that she read slashdot sometime... like right now.
....teeth...and doesn't smell like week old tuna.........
(1) Get a 15" dildo
(2) Get her nekkid in a dark room
(3) Insert dildo all the way into her ass
(4) She won't come back for more
(5) Repeat 1-4
(6) Profit.... (ooops...wrong thread!)
-psy
You would be the first woman I would punch (without hitting me first) if given the opportunity. You've already thrown enough punches when joking that you're in mensa.
also post a bittorrent here
There are two ways you can approach this problem, legal and practical.
Legally you have been wronged (although to prove it you have to have a record, and have to rebuff her in obvious ways). Practically, you have a dilema. I think the OP was asking about practical solutions.
Practically, don't lead her on and don't spit in her face. Either is disingenuous. Are you doing the job? do your job. Are you looking to cash in on a lawsuit? sue.
Discrimination/harassment/people don't love you is a fact of life. People that can't hide irrational prejudice lose in the long run. On the margins, shit happens. Deal.
.sig Karma out the wazoo, better to spend points elsewhere if this is above 2 or below 0
Then again, this guy seems to be assuming that he only has two choices: play the gigolo, or face losing his consulting contracts. With a little self-esteem and a little tact, one could probably let down a sexually aggressive boss without provoking a crisis. Alas, Slashdotters are not notable for self-esteem or tact. Perhaps the question should be directed to a psychologist. Or an advice columnist. Even an ettiquite expert would probably give better advice!
My Slashdot Legal Advice (TM, Copyright 2003 Slashdot Inc., Patent Pending in Four Countries) is to go ahead and reciprocate on her advances, tell her you're going to send her a photo of you nekkid, and forward her a picture of our dear beloved friend.
.cs?)
For those of you who do not have the domain warnings turned on, that link should be followed by a [goatse.cx]. For those of you new to Slashdot you can directly translate that to Don't Click On That Link (TM, Copyright 2004 Slashdot Inc., "No Click Does Nothing" technology Patent # 4,234,123).
Also note for once, I'm not checking the link, so that may not be quite right. (Is it supposed to end in
If that doesn't turn her off of you, nothing will.
This has been Slashdot Legal Advice (TM, Copyright 2003 Slashdot Inc., Patent Pending now in Five Countries). Remember, whatever you do, when you need legal advice do not seek out a professional attorney when you can have the benefit and wisdom of hundreds of random yahoos who could not care less about your plight.
How hot is the supervisor??
Now Surak is hard.
I think he should just go for it and try to score himself a sugar mama. :)
Otherwise, if it really does bother him, he should go to HR first and explain the situation. Tell HR that you would prefer it if they didn't say anything, but that you are going to tell her to stop asking you out. If something happens where you don't get called back, HR has it on record and you could use it to get the amount of money out of them that you would have gotten if you had finished the term of your contract or project.
I guess the easy way to get her to stop asking would be to just say yes.
Tell your friend to go out on a date with the woman. On that date, have him drop some pretty major hints that he's one of the following:
1. closet gay, shy about coming out;
2. still recovering from a STD;
3. unable to sustain an erection because of a personal trauma;
4. maintaining a long distance relationship with a girl he's never met but hopes to meet up with in a year a so;
5. currently celibate because of a bad breakup;
6. saving himself for when he's married.
Any of these give him plenty of reasons not to take up her advances yet give her slim hope for the future. With any luck, that slim hope will translate into getting your friend more work beyond his current contract but lessening the attention that he'll get from his supervisor.
Remember, the trick is getting her to back off from being all over him but without making her feel totally rejected. If she thinks the door might be open for her just a crack, or that it might open for her down the line, then she'll have a reason to keep him around.
At the very least, your friend should try to avoid a confrontation at any cost. If he doesn't "break her heart" then she might keep him on as eye candy. If he does, then she might just bitch about him "not being a team player" or "having an attitude" to other potential employers.
"Accept that some days you are the pigeon, and some days you are the statue." - David Brent, Wernham Hogg
Absolutely!
This guy is in an excellent situation, and little does he realise how lucky he is!
You can tell how powerful someone is by the magnitude of the crime they can commit and be able to get away with.
MILF?
Being called a dork on Slashdot must be like being called the retard in special ed.
(1) Until she tells me to stop doing it, it's no longer sexual harassment.
(2) In regards to CA and restraining orders, the second amendment doesn't give you the right to constantly hang around someone.
(3) My entire point was that if I refused to come back to her salon as a customer, she would have no cause -- what-so-ever -- for complaint against me. This is the same situation as it would be if this woman didn't ask the consultant back after he asks her not to ask him out anymore.
social sciences can never use experience to verify their statemen
I agree with you, that one was sorely lacking.
... now THAT would be a problem worth solving (as opposed to submitting to the pressure.)
Here is some insight : tell your friend he needs to put out or get out.
If only my life problems were so easy to solve.
Now if the issue was that she was several decades older and several dozen kilograms heavier
Glonoinha the MebiByte Slayer
Some people are just too picky...
Go not unto/. for advice, for you will be told both yea and nay (but have nothing to do with the question)
So what that she is a little older. Fuck her brains out, then demand a higher consulting rate when you re-up your contract.
Older women are often really hot in the sack. Since your just fucking some psycho at work, you don't have to feel guilty about doing other, younger women at the same time.
"Put a flag over her head and do it for your country!"
-- My brother, though I'm sure it's not originally his.
If this was a normal employment relationship, there would be two issues: first, sexual harassment in the workplace is illegal; second, firing someone for complaining about sexual harassment is also illegal.
Unfortunately, I believe one of the downsides to working as a consultant is that terminaing a contract for complaining about sexual harassment is not a problem (unless the termination is against the provisions of the contract, but it sounds like, in this case, the contract simply wouldn't be renewed).
However, the harassment is still against the law, and her supervisor would have to follow proper procedure if you were to tell him/her, but the supervisor is not required to give future work to your friend.
Funny how this sounds like the same glass wall/ceiling that women and minorities have been running into for years, eh?
Tell him to stop bathing and having his hair cut for at least 5 monthes. Teeth brushing should also be forbidden. And when nature calls, there's no real need for a restoom. That's what pants are for. Clothes can be changed once a month.
Now let's see if she'll STILL ask your friend out.
"I'm not gay, but i'll learn"
BOFH her. Hide a tape recorder, get her on tape making advances. Then call her voicemail from an untraceable phone number and leave a copy of the conversation on her voice mail. While you're at it, download one of the kiddie pr0n viruses to her machine and create a scheduled task that will change her homepage to the kiddie pr0n and simultaneously email the link to her boss and her boss's boss with "hey, Bill, look at this great website I found" (but only if neither's name is really Bill, or your friend's), and will also email her boss an MP3 of the original recording. Reset it every week until she fires him for rejecting her advances.
[Seriously, please do NOT take this advice! This is just a JOKE! It is illegal, immoral, impractical, and irrational. And IANAL.]
In this market? I know a number of guys out of work that'd take his spot.
I can't believe no one has posted this yet:
Is she hot?
Tell him to post a picture if he expects to get a good response from this crowd.
I can see all of the little geeks at home: "Ooo, I can get hired to code and older women will hit on me!"
A speech...
Aww, leave her and her 'superiour' intellect alone. I'm sure she's really in Mensa. She just doesn't know how to spell. Or read. Or not prove that she's an idiot who would never make it in to Mensa.
...your friend has the physical superiority (doesn't he?) He should never feel threatened, and if he does, he needs to spend a few months in the gym.
Keep putting it off, and tell him to never get himself into a situation where she's alone with him in a locked room. Eventually she'll get frustrated, and your friend can try to keep the relationship platonic, because after that point it'll come to a crux and she'll decide whether or not to make good on her implied threat. If he's still working there, he can still maintain a friendly professionalism. Otherwise, get a fricken new job.
She obviously is attempting to use her position of power to intimidate him, and push the issue. She knows he's rejected her, and now she's applying more pressure. She can't take no for an answer, and she's used to getting what she wants.
The fucking bitch.
She's trying to intimidate him, and it's obviously working, or you wouldn't be here asking a bunch of geeks how to deal with a situation most of them have never faced, and will never have to face.
Tell your friend to get a frickin' spine and stop whining about "harassment." Harassment is meant for people who can't defend themselves physically nor emotionally, nor with position. Your friend isn't one of those people unless he's physically inferior to this woman.
Cripes..! Tell your buddy to stand up and be a man for once!
Given that there is no expectation of privacy in the corporate environment, you're probably home-free to secretly tape record conversations from a privacy and eavesdropping standpoint. If a manager can spy on employees then someone can do the same to the managers, especially since sexual harassment is very much the company's business.
Taped proof may be enough to "buy insurance" if shared quietly with the manager or manager's manager - assuming that's actually what you want. I'd probably be too disgusted to want to work there anymore. Anyway. Share only a copy of the tape(s); keep the original safe and, if truly paranoid, set up a failsafe with a friend or two: if they don't get a hold code from you by a certain time, trigger a broad release.
In this case, I'd tape record the next harassing conversation, at which you tell the harrasser "no", and then follow up with further secret taping in case there is retaliation. Lawyers *are* a waste of time and money; this kind of situation requires cold-blooded vigilantism.
If all goes well, you destroy the tapes, problem solved, no damage done. If not, forget lawyers; just go for the kill. If she retaliates, go to her, play the tapes and explain the "new world order" that now exists: the tape(s) goes to her manager, her church, her neighbors, the local TV and radio, the net, her husband, her employees, her peer manager, the VPs, etc. if any retaliation occurs/continues and things are not completely back to status quo ante within a week or less. Quite simply her entire social, financial and profession network will be utterly destroyed if things don't go back to the up-and-up asap.
Of course, you may get undeserved benefits and job opportunities but she fscked up, not you. You're just being "made whole" and if she overdoes it that's her problem. Somebody else can bushwhack her for favoritism, she probably deserves to be hit more than once.
If she screams blackmail and then tries to back that up, be prepared to walk and say you will walk *and* release the tapes anyway (i.e. it's not about the money but honor). That will likely make her think twice about it because there's nothing to back her story up (you don't need the salary as much as your honor so how could their be blackmail?) and everything to back up yours (the tapes made public).
She may call you bluff but imagine the joy for following through with it! Imagine forcing her to retire early in disgrace or even forfeit future employability. Imagine if she gets another job and her new company gets copies of the tapes with a note saying: "Now that you've listened to these tapes, can you company afford the legal liability of employing this person?". We all know that most chickenshite companies will cave on this. Repeat for every job she gets. If she threatens to sue, tell her: "Please go right ahead. I'd love to have my day court and have these tapes permanently entered into the public record for all to see, forever! I'd love to have press conferences on national TV where I get to hand out copies to every reporter on the planet. Yes, please, let's!"
If it's government and classified there are big legal issues with tape recorders. On the other hand I've observed that security guards in classified environments always freak out about actual tape recorders and floppies but completely ignore solid-state recorders and USB thumb drives. Still too big a risk if you work with classified materials. So instead you need a witness surreptitiously present. Set up the manager with a meeting situation similar to previous times. Make sure the witness can hear or see but not be heard or seen. Two witnesses is better. More is best.
In general, I would still back this up with other employment plans as "scorched earth" (you lose job-they lose whatever you can get) is a likely end-game in any case. You
If you don't have a rash, go get one. Problem solved.
Next!
I've got a similar problem
I've been working as a consultant for a government institution, and I've been having difficult time with my direct supervisor (the person who hired and manages me). She has been repeatedly asking me out (even though she is several decades my senior), and keeps referencing her preference for younger men. This isn't exactly sexual harassment, however, as I havn't said 'No, and please stop asking.' The problem is that if I say the above, there won't be any more work for me there. I'm not really fired, but just not asked back for other work. I hope someone has the answers for this sort of thing!
Slashdot or am I at the wrong place again..??
shit, i should really quit this shit....
The lunatic is in my head
*sigh*
That's a good idea. It actually works. I had to do it once. When I was in my late teens/early twenties I seemed to attract gay men with alarming frequency. If only I'd been gay myself, I'd have been laughing. The only way I could get one to stop pestering me was to pretend that I had a boyfriend.
At work, people (who claimed they were the straightest of the straight) used to chase me around and threaten to "do things" to me. It was only a summer job when I was a student, so unless I wanted to go hungry the next year there was nothing I could do.
When I worked in a supermarket, the gay guy in our department used to come in every day and say "hi cutie arse" and grope my bottom :-( :-( People just used to laugh.
I feel very bitter and resentful. I have a wife now, and she is very sympathetic, but at the time I was too shy to do anything about it.
"No, but thanks for asking." And smile.
Perhaps you'd like to tell us WHAT COUNTRY YOU'RE REFERRING TO.
I often find that the people who advertise the fact that they're in Mensa are the most immature, insecure and pretentious. Mensa is nothing more than a social club for people who get high scores on a standard IQ test, after all. It also has some pretty scary political policies, of you look back into the first half of the 20th Century. Anyway, I passed their damned test when I was 15 but declined to join when I found out what it was all about and the amount of monet they wanted...
take one for the team
so, by implication, you're saying that it is ok for a woman to hit a man, no matter what? sorry, you can't have it both ways. it's either ok for both to punch each other out or it's not.
It's not right either way, but on average, men tend to be a lot physically stronger than women.
Also, call me old-fashioned if you'd like - I'll take it as a compliment - but I was raised to believe that God gave men a little extra strength so they could protect women and children, not hurt them.
Nonaggression works!
You forget one important possibility: "she" may be a ladyboy. Just imagine, you get her clothes off and... Argh!
... all I can say is have him start talking about his girlfriend whenever possible. Even if he doesn't have one, have him talk around her like he does.
While the woman who was harassing me wasn't my direct supervisor, I did have to work with her on a daily basis. I never bothered pressing charges, despite the fact that she harassed me in front of several of her employees on several occasions. Why not? Too embarassing.
I was 19, she was 41. Had she been hot, it would've been a different story.
Cruising the internet on my TI-99/4A @ a whopping 300 baud!
Tell him to shag her. Hard. Many times. All night long. And call her the next day. Even if she's ugly. Especially if she's hideous. Tell him to be perverse in the sexual practices. Hard. She will not insist.
Hmmmm lets see here.
You have a healthy like of guns and were raised to believe in God making men to protect women, old fashioned values!
Let me guess, you're a christian conservative!?!??!
If you are I'm gonna have to ask you to hand in your Slashdot Anarchist card. Please don't make a scene.
Mac OS X and Windows XP working side by side to fight back the night.
Nope . . don't like guns . . . but do acknowledge the right of all people to defend themselves, which generally requires guns.
I do have traditional values that have been called "liberal" at some times in history and "conservative" in others, but both of those ideologies as they are represented in "government" today are as repugnant to me as to any other thinking person.
Really no label fits perfectly, but I'm more of a minarchist-bordering-on-anarchist libertarian than anything else.
As for being a Christian, I would describe myself as a student of Christ, but nowhere near worthy of being called a follower.
Nonaggression works!
Actually, it goes like this:
"Put a flag over her head and do it to your country!"
If it is ".. FOR Consultants", we should expect either discussion on how to create the hostile enviroment for your consultants or discussion of book or article (.. in three easy lessons!")
Close your eyes and think of England.
Just give her the old "Wham, bam, thank you ma'am" treatment. Get your rocks off, and leave her hanging.
WKRP In Cincinatti? This was all covered off in several episodes... Everybody seemed happy.
That said, if you plan on suing (and it is possible for a man to do so), be prepared for a long and costly trial. Her company may do their best to make the suit very difficult and expensive. The valid case I encountered involved a long-term pattern of heinous behavior on behalf of the immediate superior, and even when it was verified by a score of witnessess and a ton of documentation, the trial cost the plantiff six months of work and over $200k in legal fees. Be prepared.
THE GOOD HUMOR MAN CAN ONLY BE PUSHED SO FAR
Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode 2F18
Skip bathing a couple of weeks. Suspend brushing your teeth for the same period. Talk to her really close-up afterwards. Work done, next case.
It's better to be the foot on the boot than the face on the pavement. ~~ tkx Kadin2048
I completely agree that it is not right either way, but...
Anyone (man or woman) deserves to be protected, but likewise, I am not to be caused harm... Any woman (or man) foolish enough to elevate a conflict to the level of striking me (I am a rather imposing 6'1" and 205 lbs marathoner who still benches his weight...) is no longer deserving of my protection. I will try not to do any more damage than is necesary to end the conflict, but, I WILL end the conflict at that point...
P.S. I ain't the AC
"I'll have a Guinness, no wait, make that a Coors Light" -Grad student I work with, who shall remain anonymous...
I was 15 but declined to join when I found out what it was all about and the amount of monet they wanted.
How much Renoir did they want?
eferencing her preference for younger men. This isn't exactly sexual harassment, however, as he hasn't said 'No, and please stop asking.'
Let me get this straight: she asked him out, he didn't say yes, he didn't say no either. So how exactly is she supposed to interpret this? For all she knows, he's playing hard to get, and his vague answers are attempts at flirting. There is no point in getting all passive-aggressive about this - your friend is quite frankly an idiot if he thinks that he can string someone along without them getting the wrong idea. There is nothing to complain about here, this manager has done nothing wrong. Your friend's problem is that he has no social skills.
The problem is that if he says the above, there won't be any more work for him there.
Why, does this manager have a history of firing anyone who does sleep with her? No? Then what's the problem? Tell your friend to just politely decline. Everyone has been asked out by someone they didn't fancy at some point, a polite "thanks but no thanks" is simple enough. If she's as mature as you say, she'll have both asked out someone who wasn't interested and been asked out by someone she wasn't interested in (it's called "life") and is unlikely to take offense.
You've got two choices:
a.) "M'am, while we pride ourselves on being a full service organization, we all have to set limits. Thanks for asking but I lamentably must refuse."
b.) "For a career consultant, an offer of fellatio is the highest form of praise. This is especially true given both the quality of the organization and of your oral talents. However, over the years I've developed a firm policy of not sleeping with the boss. While I've been sorely tempted to deviate from that policy given you charms, a principle means nothing unless observed when it is least convenient to do so. In that light, please take this as my final refusal. That said, if you're still looking for a young piece of ass to quench your managerial fires, I'd be happy to assist you in your search provided you agree to pay me double my hourly rate. Assuming that is ammenable, may I recommend Johnson down in accounting? He'll bang anything that moves. When he comes into the office, the fish stop swimming."
Indicating the he has an STD, preferably something not easily transmitted by just casual contact. Leave the results in such a way that the boss, but hopefully not others, can read it.
That or just get some of the "cream" etc to cure said condition and leave it on the desk...
That'll probably back her off a bit.
Mensa is fairly nice -- its a social club where geeks go out and play pool (or whatever) depending on the mensa society. if youre alone in a large city with no one around to socialise with, join the local mensa chapter and join in..they usually have weekly or bi weekly gatherings to sit around in chat/shoot pool/play rpgs. i joined in with mensa's boston chapter a coupla years ago when i landed up in MA with no one to socialise with -- pretty nice. got to meet new ppl and shoot a little pool.
yes, mensababe is probably not in mensa...most mensa members would never advertise they're with the club....theres little point in a holier than thou attitude when virtually all mensa members know that high IQs arent a measure of intelligence -- theyre a measure of processing capacity. yes, most mensa members are faster at drawing conclusions and (mostly) correct ones because of the faster processing capacity than the general population. that doesnt make them more intelligent than the rest nor does it make them less likely to make mistakes. mensa primary goal is to spread knowledge to as many parts of the world as it can -- thats where your forty plus buck a year membership fee mostly goes to - education programs in africa and other countries for example.
Ahem. I believe you're cutting a few bits out. I believe you meant to say...
Of course, a simple "I'd hit it!" would also suffice.
You mentioned this happened in a "goverment institution". If this was the military (especially Army), then your boss (as a civilian worker) is required to have annual EO/EEO training, including prevention of sexual harassment.
A short FAQ is online to spell out how to follow through on sexual harassment situation. In the Military, if your boss is the one who is sexually harassing you, then you can/must go to her boss, who is required to look into the matter, or else be subject to the same penalties has if s/he was also harassing you. Also, once an investigation is under way, the boss is prohibited from retaliating.
Now, with all that, does this apply to contractors? In the Military, the answer is yes.
Did your goverment institution also have EO/EEO procedures, and if so, do they exempt contractors from protection? You should be, and your institution should have an EO/EEO representative to contact.
And yes, you are being sexually harassed, according to the site:
What is Sexual Harassment?
Sexual harassment is a form of sex discrimination which is a violation of Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964. The EEOC's guidelines define two types of sexual harassment: "quid pro quo" and "hostile environment."
hat is "quid pro quo" sexual harassment?
Unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, and other verbal or physical conduct of a sexual nature constitute "quid pro quo" sexual harassment when (1) submission to such conduct is made either explicitly or implicitly a term or condition of an individual's employment, or (2) submission to or rejection of such conduct by an individual is used as the basis for employment decisions affecting such individual.
What is "hostile environment" sexual harassment?
Unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, and other verbal or physical conduct of a sexual nature constitute "hostile environment" sexual harassment when such conduct has the purpose or effect of unreasonably interfering with an individual's work performance or creating an intimidating, hostile, or offensive working environment.
What factors determine whether an environment is "hostile?"
The central inquiry is whether the conduct "unreasonably interfered with an individual's work performance" or created "an intimidating, hostile, or offensive working environment." The EEOC will look at the following factors to determine whether an environment is hostile: (1) whether the conduct was verbal or physical or both; (2) how frequently it was repeated; (3) whether the conduct was hostile or patently offensive; (4) whether the alleged harasser was a co-worker or supervisor; (5) whether others joined in perpetrating the harassment; and (6) whether the harassment was directed at more than one individual. No one factor controls. An assessment is made based upon the totality of the circumstances.
What is unwelcome sexual conduct?
Sexual conduct becomes unlawful only when it is unwelcome. The challenged conduct must be unwelcome in the sense that the employee did not solicit or incite it, and in the sense that the employee regarded the conduct as undesirable or offensive.
How will the EEOC determine whether conduct is unwelcome?
When confronted with conflicting evidence as to whether conduct was welcome, the EEOC will look at the record as a whole and at the totality of the circumstances, evaluating each situation on a case by case basis. The investigation should determine whether the victim's conduct was consistent, or inconsistent, with his/her assertion that the sexual conduct was unwelcome.
Who can be a victim of sexual harassment?
The victim may be a woman or a man. The victim does not have to be of the opposite sex. The victim does not have to be the person harassed but could be anyone affected by the offensive conduct.
Mod Karma -1: I sed bad wurds. If I cep my mouf shut, I wud be at riyses.
...is sexual harassment. Anything else is just someone trying to get laid.
You like to label people. Let me guess, you're a labeler.
Goodness knows we need more of them. The work of placing everyone into their categories is far too daunting. Why can't we just issue people signs with their labels? "I'm a libertarian euro-hispanic polygamist video gamer with pesticidal tendencies". Oh, and I like jazz.
Coding Blog
It depends. If you r friend is single then,
is she cute? Hmmmm... Palimoney?
If she has said his job depends on him doing it and he has some proof then he has a leg to stand on, otherwise I agree with a lot of others...start looking for another job. Either that or keep puttin it off until she commits to saying his job depends on it and then he has her. Problem is he still might not get his contract renewed... Does he work for another corporation or for himself...if he works for a corporation have him contact his HR folks for the best solution...
I tried to file a complaint with the EEOC; they told me they couldn't do anything for me because they only have jurisdiction over employees.
"Freedom means freedom for everybody" -- Dick Cheney
Just hit it and forget it.
'Same speed C but faster'
If they're getting along together and if she's a nice person, don't sue. People are way too sure-happy in this contry. Talk to her about it as adults.
Considering your /. handle, shouldn't it be something more along the lines of "God is Dead"?
It's much better than your current sig. Why announce your moderation strategy? I wouldn't call it an effective deterrent, given the odds you will moderate a particular offending user's post.
I was the AC. since I have cookies turned off, stupid /. caused me to post as an AC when I had typed in my response and did a preview. crap!
Labels are necessary. Without them one would not know who to look down upon and mistreat or who to look up to and admire.
Mac OS X and Windows XP working side by side to fight back the night.
...he works part time on the MILF Hunter web site, and would she like to pose?
GCHQ Quantum Insert installed. If only our tongues were made of glass, how much more careful we would be when we speak
In your dreams...
Anyway, that's the problem with humor: it's damned subjective. So how are we to judge posts that are meant to be funny? Never mind the ones that are unintentionally funny.
Look, here's the deal... The super is horny. Your bud either gives it to her and has to deal with her until she's sick of him and he doesn't get "renewed". Or he blows her off, and doesn't get renewed.
HR is not going to give two shits about a consultant - you're even worse than an at-will employee, because they can say whatever they want about your buds performance...
My advice - take her out to dinner... get her a bit drunk, fuck her in the ass like the dog she is (do it dry - make her cry). Take pictures.
Tell her that's the first and last time you're fucking her. The pics stay private unless your contract isn't renewed...
Finish your existing gig, keep looking for new ones... When you find a new one and leave, never look back...
The way we used to say it in the USMC, it was:
"Aw, put a flag on her head and fuck 'er for glory!"
Farewell! It's been a fine buncha years!