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Further Selections From the Mixed-Up SCO Files
An anonymous reader writes "SCO have made much of how their claims about UNIX code being improperly copied into Linux were verified by 3 teams including 'MIT Mathematicians.' However, MIT can't seem to find the mathematicians concerned!"
(SCO's explanation is that the company is talking about a team made up of people who formerly worked at MIT, rather than a group still associated with the school, but "due to contractual obligations, we cannot specifically name the individuals.")
kuwan writes "SCO has responded to the massive debunking of their 'evidence' last week. Chris Sontag claims that the BPF code was 'not intended to be an example of stolen code, but rather a demonstration of how SCO was able to detect "obfuscated" code.' That, however is a flat-out lie. If you look at their Obfuscated Copying slide (#15), it clearly states 'Obfuscated System V Code Has Been Copied Into Linux Kernel Releases 2.4x and 2.5x,' and then the slide labels the BPF code on the left as 'System V Code.'
At this point I think they realized that their case has been severly weakened and they need to spin it any way they can. And in their case this means more lying."
Captain Beefheart writes "According to this story over at The Inquirer (crediting a special edition of Terry Shannon's Shannon Knows HPC newsletter), SCO has officially announced that HP is safe from their infringement lawsuit brigade ... This leads one to suspect that HP is the Fortune 500 company that SCO claimed recently had paid for a license."
Maybe HP just wants to avoid Microsoft/BSA-style hassles: FatRatBastard writes "According to an article on Commentwire.com SCO has started sending invoices to Linux users. If a company signs up for SCO's 'Intellectual Property License for Linux,' they allow the possibility of being audited at SCO's expense to ensure that the user has been truthful about the number of Linux installations it has. Should the audit reveal that the user has underpaid SCO by 5% or $5,000, whichever is highest, the user also agrees to pay the price for the audit."
Blacklantern writes "The SCO lawsuit has made it into "Halloween Documents" gallery. Eric Raymond takes on the contents of the lawsuit point-by-point. "
Over at Computerworld, they have an article which outlines SCO's plans to revitalize their Unix offering, and market it as a competitor to Linux. The best part, of course, is Darl's insight:
Sure, a little paint and some nifty accents from Pottery Barn, and SCO will be swimming in cash, right??? Thanks again, Darl, for making my day just a little funnier...
Stop by my site where I write about ERP systems & more
Why wouldn't they use Linux? They own it, don't they?
So, could this be the reason why the successful DoS attack on SCO by an overly zealous open source advocate was so successful?
BOO! TERRO
Finally! An SCO story. I've been going into depressive withdrawal...
More specifically, Steve Jobs's Reality Distortion Field(TM), except that he crossed the wires wrong and only he is affected. W00t!
Ya know, my life has been so much richer since I've been able to tune in to the daily episode of "As the SCO Turns", my favorite soap opera! Although, I almost think this almost qualifies as comedy! In any case, thanks, Darl!
Paul Hatch, a SCO spokesman, wrote in a statement to The Tech, "To clarify, the individuals reviewing the code had been involved with MIT labs in the past, but are not currently at MIT. Unfortunately, due to contractual obligations, we cannot specifically name the individuals."
I get the sudden impression of a trio who tried out for the role of the Lone Gunmen on the X-Files and failed miserably, crawling through MIT's underground tunnels.
"Quick, it's the campus cops! Run!"
"But we haven't finished copying UNIX code into /src/kernel!"
"That's okay, we'll just grep some BSD code and put it in Symbol font. They'll never know the difference!"
We recently had heard in the office over one of the Yellow Machine that's made by Anthology Solutions.
Um, as a mathematician I can understand why I might be hired to sell hotdogs, but to justify undefined claims? Naaaa.
Most likely the #1 Unfunny Meta/Moderator on
My mother would tap her foot impatiently, say, "She doesn't have your stuff, stop being so mean to your sister," and promptly ground him for being a dork.
So, using this logic, IBM should say, "Linux doesn't have your code, stop being so mean to the open source community," and promptly sue them for being dorks.
+5, Female
Should the audit reveal that the user has underpaid SCO by 5% or $5,000, whichever is highest, the user also agrees to pay the price for the audit.
So, not only am I being extorted, but I'm agreeing to be extorted at a future date as well!?!
Please, SCO spare us the bandwidth. Shut Up!
-B
wow, it's 4:30. i'd almost given up on my daily SCO story.
!(^((ri)|(mp))aa$)
...but that stuff about the mathematicians had me imagining a SCO representative doing a Maxwell Smart impersonation.
"Yes, we hired a team of crack mathematicians from MIT to scour the code...."
"Would you believe we hired an accountant who's heard of MIT to scour the code..."
"How about we cornered a kid coming out of his remedial math class and offered him free pizza if he could find two words that matched?"
Dear SCO,
I have already paid for your Linux license, yet I have erroniously received another invoice.
After some investigation, I think I figured out the mix up. Due to contractual obligations, I had to send the payment secretly. It's in a white unmarked envelope with no return address. Due to the circumstances, I was forced to send cash against the advice of the US postal service. Still I trust that it arrived safely. If you have any doubts, my accountant, whose name I cannot reveal, will vouch for me. He used to teach at MIT so his credibility is obviously impeccable.
Now that we've straightened out this matter, I will discard this invoice.
Thank you,
By reading this sig, you agree to the terms of my sig license.
Well, sure, if I was working for SCO, I wouldn't want me name known publicly either!
"We're the owners of the Unix (AT&T) System V code, and so we would know what it would look like,"
Yeah, sure, having recently purchased rights to the code, they would definately have a better idea what it looks like than, say, the guys that wrote the code!!
"Freedom means freedom for everybody" -- Dick Cheney
Displaying documents 1-20 of total 2825 found.
1. SCO | Company | History of SCO
Plans for the next weekly Pot-Party
Displaying documents 1-20 of total 2951 found.
We think we rock big time
Displaying documents 1-20 of total 1116 found.
nya nya nya nya take that suckers
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Why shit and waste it when you can burp and taste it.
An Indian-American Hindu committed to non-violent thought/speech/action alarmed by the global explosion of radical Islam
Wow, a girl!!!
So, do you like....stuff?
You mean back in the good ol' days, when the founder of SCO had to quit 'cause he kept getting sued for sexually harrasing female employees? And the marketing department used to store their dope in the company freezer? And they were the only company in town with a hottub in their office? Oh yeah, they had a much better reputation in those days!
"Freedom means freedom for everybody" -- Dick Cheney
Yes.
http://erichsieht.wordpress.com/category/english/
Caldera bought SCO, remember? That's probably when and why it changed over.
Why, I remember when Caldera was trying to be a Linux company, and SCO was just a defunct Unix. Now all we have is Caldera/SCO trying hard to be a defunct company!
pb Reply or e-mail; don't vaguely moderate.
Why are so many companies who are doing Linux business (SuSE, for example) complaining, but not unleashing their lawyers.
Like the old saying:
Never argue with an idiot. He'll drag you down to his level, then beat you with experience.
"Nice little software operation you got here... be a shame if anything should happen to it, right Vinny?" "Yeah Boss, be a shame!" "You see, we down at the Operation, we figure we actually own dis here business, so you owe us big time! You can pay us now, or pay us later!"
"Freedom means freedom for everybody" -- Dick Cheney
Yup, SCO hired a crew who "worked" at MIT, stealing laptops and selling drugs.
That's "Mr. Soulless Automaton" to you, Bub.
Hmm, does anyone know of any former MIT janitors working over at SCO these days?
Seems the MIT verified SCO claim is about as reliable as a "factual" statement from Fox News anchor Bill O'Reilly.
"Chris Sontag told me that [they] had a group of mathemeticians 'who were at MIT' working on this,"
"To clarify, the individuals reviewing the code had been involved with MIT labs in the past, but are not currently at MIT. Unfortunately, due to contractual obligations, we cannot specifically name the individuals."
"at least one of the groups was a link to MIT"
What's next? "Well, all humans are decended from 'Eve', this has been scientifically verified, and there are thousands of living MIT mathemeticians, so therefore our team has thousands of links to MIT."
Or perhaps "Well, one of our team members attended a conference at MIT once, so clearly there is a link. Okay, so it was open-mic night at the student union and he played acoustic guitar, but still, there's a clear link!"
Schmedley
This would make a great new reality show on Discovery Channel.
Perhaps they can bring in 4 developers and give them 5 days to bring the OS up to a new flashier state.
If they suceed they get a prize pack worth over $699 of Linux licenses.
No, but by God I am waiting with baited breath.
Here we are running half a dozen AIX machines plus a couple of Linux clusters with 32 nodes each, which means that the invoice from SCO should land with quite a thud. When it arrives I'll pass it on to my four-year old daughter who needs plenty of paper when using her crayons.
I might send it back so that the SCO execs can have a nice picture of a penguin to hang on the wall, then again, I like my daughter's pictures.
Ed Almos
Proud Father & Proud Linux User
The more corrupt the state, the more numerous the laws. - Tacitus, 56-120 A.D.
If Linux indeed has code stolen from SCO then shouldn't SCO's OS be just as good?
No. Linus has "embraced and extended" the SCO code
Then again, immediately going after IBM wasn't the smartest thing in the world, so maybe they are just nuts...
I think at this point there are clearly only two alternatives:
1) They are absolutely dumb
2) They had concluded that this would be the way to maximize profit for some important entities in and around SCO, and consequentially followed some plan. It's quite possible that their plan didn't work out as they thought and the situation is not in their control anymore.
The first alternative is only explainable by aliens that have invaded Utah to test some brain melting secret weapons against humans.
but it would go like...
"You might not realize this, IBM, but standing on the other side of that door is a team of MIT ninja mathematicians with top-of-the-line pattern-matching supercomputers!"
No one comes in the door. IBM stares blankly.
"Uh...wouldja believe a team of highly-paid CPAs with a beowulf cluster?"
No dice.
"How 'bout an advanced algebra class and 'diff'?"
Nope.
"Two monkeys and an abacus?"
W
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This is my SIG. There are many like it, but this one is mine.
Heh, I was just wondering if SCO has figured out a way to manipulate those automated AI systems the big investment firms use to buy and sell stock. I.e.
1. Release tons of press releases
2. sue multi-billion dollar company
3. get media to cover your sorry ass from here to Sunday.
4. manipulate stock market
5. Profit!
6. Go to step 1.
7. If ProfitStep() > $1billion GoTo jail.
Perhaps Darl is planning on pulling out right around the time SCO hits that magical $999 million dollar market cap and moving to Mexico?
"they think somehow that choosing the right jurisdiction with the right judge will net them a win?" ... they originally filed in Utah state courts, didn't they. And hired a carnival law firm's lead barker.
"The linux community is splitting hairs"
For the love of god, please, somebody give him a solid-gold 5-iron and point him towards a lightning-prone golf course.
"Murphy was an optimist" - O'Toole's commentary on Murphy's Law
SCO is starting to remind me of the kid on the playground who tells the other kids that he can fly. They ask him to show them, and he says he doesn't want to right now.
And McBride's disapperance will be brought to you by the letters A and K, as well as the numbers 4 and 7.
YOUR URGENT ASSISTANCE REQUIRED Dogfood
DEAR SIR/MADAM:
I AM MR DARL MCBRIDE CURRENTLY SERVING AS THE PRESIDENT AND CHIEF EXECUTIVE OFFICER OF THE SCO GROUP, FORMERLY KNOWN AS CALDERA SYSTEMS INTERNATIONAL, IN LINDON, UTAH, UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. I KNOW THIS LETTER MIGHT SURPRISE YOU BECAUSE WE HAVE HAD NO PREVIOUS COMMUNICATIONS OR BUSINESS DEALINGS BEFORE NOW.
MY ASSOCIATES HAVE RECENTLY MADE CLAIM TO COMPUTER SOFTWARES WORTH AN ESTIMATED $1 BILLION U.S. DOLLARS. I AM WRITING TO YOU IN CONFIDENCE BECAUSE WE URGENTLY REQUIRE YOUR ASSISTANCE TO OBTAIN THESE FUNDS.
IN THE EARLY 1970S THE AMERICAN TELEPHONE AND TELEGRAPH CORPORATION DEVELOPED AT GREAT EXPENSE THE COMPUTER OPERATING SYSTEM SOFTWARE KNOWN AS UNIX. UNFORTUNATELY THE LAWS OF MY COUNTRY PROHIBITED THEM FROM SELLING THESE SOFTWARES AND SO THEIR VALUABLE SOURCE CODES REMAINED PRIVATELY HELD. UNDER A SPECIAL ARRANGEMENT SOME PROGRAMMERS FROM THE CALIFORNIA UNIVERSITY OF BERKELEY DID ADD MORE CODES TO THIS OPERATING SYSTEM, INCREASING ITS VALUE, BUT NOT IN ANY WAY TO DILUTE OR DISPARAGE OUR FULL AND RIGHTFUL OWNERSHIP OF THESE CODES, DESPITE ANY AGREEMENT BETWEEN AMERICAN TELEPHONE AND TELEGRAPH AND THE CALIFORNIA UNIVERSITY OF BERKELEY, WHICH AGREEMENT WE DENY AND DISAVOW.
IN THE YEAR 1984 A CHANGE OF REGIME IN MY COUNTRY ALLOWED THE AMERICAN TELEPHONE AND TELEGRAPH CORPORATION TO MAKE PROFITS FROM THESE SOFTWARES. IN THE YEAR 1990 OWNERSHIP OF THESE SOFTWARES WAS TRANSFERRED TO THE CORPORATION UNIX SYSTEM LABORATORIES. IN THE YEAR 1993 THIS CORPORATION WAS SOLD TO THE CORPORATION NOVELL. IN THE YEAR 1994 SOME EMPLOYEES OF NOVELL FORMED THE CORPORATION CALDERA SYSTEMS INTERNATIONAL, WHICH BEGAN TO DISTRIBUTE AN UPSTART OPERATING SYSTEM KNOWN AS LINUX. IN THE YEAR 1995 NOVELL SOLD THE UNIX SOFTWARE CODES TO SCO. IN THE YEAR 2001 OCCURRED A SEPARATION OF SCO, AND THE SCO BRAND NAME AND UNIX CODES WERE ACQUIRED BY THE CALDERA SYSTEMS INTERNATIONAL, AND IN THE FOLLOWING YEAR THE CALDERA SYSTEMS INTERNATIONAL WAS RENAMED SCO GROUP, OF WHICH I CURRENTLY SERVE AS CHIEF EXECUTIVE OFFICER.
MY ASSOCIATES AND I OF THE SCO GROUP ARE THEREFORE THE FULL AND RIGHTFUL OWNERS OF THE OPERATING SYSTEM SOFTWARES KNOWN AS UNIX. OUR ENGINEERS HAVE DISCOVERED THAT NO FEWER THAN SEVENTY (70) LINES OF OUR VALUABLE AND PROPRIETARY SOURCE CODES HAVE APPEARED IN THE UPSTART OPERATING SYSTEM LINUX. AS YOU CAN PLAINLY SEE, THIS GIVES US A CLAIM ON THE MILLIONS OF LINES OF VALUABLE SOFTWARE CODES WHICH COMPRISE THIS LINUX AND WHICH HAS BEEN SOLD AT GREAT PROFIT TO VERY MANY BUSINESS ENTERPRISES. OUR LEGAL EXPERTS HAVE ADVISED US THAT OUR CONTRIBUTION TO THESE CODES IS WORTH AN ESTIMATED ONE (1) BILLION U.S. DOLLARS.
UNFORTUNATELY WE ARE HAVING DIFFICULTY EXTRACTING OUR FUNDS FROM THESE COMPUTER SOFTWARES. TO THIS EFFECT I HAVE BEEN GIVEN THE MANDATE BY MY COLLEAGUES TO CONTACT YOU AND ASK FOR YOUR ASSISTANCE. WE ARE PREPARED TO SELL YOU A SHARE IN THIS ENTERPRISE, WHICH WILL SOON BE VERY PROFITABLE, THAT WILL GRANT YOU THE RIGHTS TO USE THESE VALUABLE SOFTWARES IN YOUR BUSINESS ENTERPRIS
E. UNFORTUNATELY WE ARE NOT ABLE AT THIS TIME TO SET A PRICE ON THESE RIGHTS. THEREFORE IT IS OUR RESPECTFUL SUGGESTION, THATYOU MAY BE IMMEDIATELY A PARTY TO THIS ENTERPRISE,BEFORE OTHERS ACCEPT THESE LUCRATIVE TERMS, THAT YOU SEND US THE NUMBER OF A BANKING ACCOUNT WHERE WE CAN WITHDRAW FUNDS OF A SUITABLE AMOUNT TO GUARANTEE YOUR PARTICIPATION IN THIS ENTERPRISE. AS AN ALTERNATIVE YOU MAY SEND US THE NUMBER AND EXPIRATION DATE OF YOUR MAJOR CREDIT CARD, OR YOU MAY SEND TO US A SIGNED CHECK FROM YOUR BANKING ACCOUNT PAYABLE TO "SCO GROUP" AND WITH THE AMOUNT LEFT BLANK FOR US TO CONVENIENTLY SUPPLY.
KINDLY TREAT THIS REQUEST AS VERY IMPORTANT AND STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL. I HONESTLY ASSURE YOU THAT THIS TRANSACTION IS 100% LEGAL AND RISK-FREE.
with credit to rec.humor.funny
Posted by mhp at August 23, 2003 09:06 AM
As an analogy, for $20 I will sell you all my real estate. For another $20, I will sell you insurance that covers Martian invasions. When you discover that I own no land and that Mars is uninhabited, don't expect your $40 back because technically I gave you everything I promised.
SCO, however, don't just limit themselves to this. While in and of itself selling snake oil could be dismissed as "let the buyer beware", they use lies and FUD to make people think their worthless license has value. Contrast the grab-bag nature of my real estate example above to someone who actually presents themself as the legitimate owner of the Brooklyn Bridge in order to get people to accept the offer.
IANAL, but I would say, if you can get someone to pay you for something completely worthless that's good marketing, but if you engage in fraud, misrepresentation, and false advertising in order to sell it, that's where you should get the book thrown at you.
Solution to that problem: Call from a pay phone in Elko, NV. Tell them you're Bill Gates.
I am so smart!
I am so smart!
S-M-R-T!
I mean S-M-A-R-T!
Oh, but I forgot, /. is "digital" and on that een-tyr-neyt thingie so obviously my example really isn't applicable.
I don't want knowledge. I want certainty. - Law, David Bowie
"To clarify, the individuals reviewing the code had been involved with MIT labs in the past, but are not currently at MIT.
Translation: one of the individuals' brother in law was a part-time undergraduate at MIT before dropping out.
Unfortunately, due to contractual obligations, we cannot specifically name the individuals."
Translation: their expert said "as long as I don't have to defend this opinion in court or to the press and as long as you guarantee that you won't leak my name, sure, I'll take your consulting money and you can put out whatever you like in your press release".
Did anybody else read that as "... a team of made-up people ..."?
"I use SCO products daily"
I didn't know they made a deodorant.
>"I use SCO products daily"
I didn't know they made a deodorant.
This is Slashdot, obviously he wasn't talking about deodorant.
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- - You can't take something off the Internet! That's like trying to take pee out of a swimming pool.