Slashdot Mirror
Telstar 4 is Down
An anonymous reader writes "Sometime this morning (Sept. 19) Telstar 4 had a major onboard failure. I just checked a few minutes ago and there are CW carriers up on 11700 MHz V & 12200 MHz H, so the spacecraft would appear to still be in its orbital slot - just no traffic. The Loral Skynet site has no mention of this yet, but supposedly Telstar 8 was already scheduled to replace T4, so they may just speed the process up. This turn of events will no doubt be of some small concern to Intelsat, who recently agreed to purchase most of Loral's US domestic fleet, including T4."
My girlfriend always told me that when I talk tech with fellow tech-heads I make no sense at all.
"It's hard for me to believe it's even English you're speaking. I don't recognize any of the words."
Reading this Slashdot post just made me understand what she means.
It's like a bad sci-fi screenplay!
(Telstar? CW carriers? 11700 MHz V & 12200 MHz H? orbital slot? Intelsat? Loral's US domestic fleet?)
... is that it has something to do with Isabel.
j/k
The IT section color scheme sucks.
Loral Skynet site has no mention of this yet, but supposedly Telstar 8 was already scheduled to replace T4 Already at the T4? Did I miss the T2?
Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam
Interested in AI? MACR
Guys, please stop playing with your Wifi devices.
See the results...
{{.sig}}
This is a crisis of earth-shattering proportions for many.
:-)
One of Telstar 4's nicknames in the industry is "nookiesat" -- as it carries several of the leading porn channels in the US.
When was 7 I'd dance to it all around the house in my footie pajamas. This behaviour only stopped recently.
Roving Web-Teleoperated Robot
Yes, but don't worry ... It'll be back.
This space for rent. All reasonable inquiries will be entertained at proprietors discretion.
Does the internet still work?
Can we still download the latest Windows security patches?
Do we still get stupid invoices from sco.com?
-- Rushdan
Astronomers from Tacoma to Vladivostok have just reported an ionic disturbance in the vicinity of the Van Allen Belt. Scientists are recommending that necessary precautions be taken.
Hope this helps.
Try not. Do or do not, there is no try.
-- Dr. Spock, stardate 2822-3.
You have many questions, and although the process has altered your consciousness, you remain irrevocably human. Ergo, some of my answers you will understand, and some of them you will not. Concordantly, while your first question may be the most pertinent, you may or may not realize it is also irrelevant.
Your life is the sum of a remainder of an unbalanced equation inherent to the programming of the matrix. You are the eventuality of an anomaly, which despite my sincerest efforts I have been unable to eliminate from what is otherwise a harmony of mathematical precision. While it remains a burden to sedulously avoid it, it is not unexpected, and thus not beyond a measure of control. Which has led you, inexorably, here.
Or something like that...
Hell, I'm from Gillette, Wyoming and have heard of Telstar satellites.
"A communications disruption could mean only one thing . . . invasion."
or
"It's like in chess: First, you strategically position your pieces and when the timing is right you strike. They're using this signal to syncronize their efforts and in 5 hours the countdown will be over"
"Where is my mind?"
"They're using our own satellites against us!"
- Jeff Goldblum in Independence Day
I'm not really a web designer, I just play one on the Internet.
Enjoy the silence while it lasts ...
Rejoice! That was the satellite that Major League Baseball was using to spy on us.
"0101100101? It's just jibberish. *looks in mirror, gasps* 1010011010@!? AHHHHHH!!"
...The opening sequence to Terminator 4: Rise of the Voting Machines?
why can't they just have some entry-level admin reboot it?
cycle the power, voila, no big deal.
oh, wait...
intellectual property law is philosophically incoherent. it is your moral duty to ignore it or sabotage it
Well... It doesn't effect me, but I don't suppose you could get me some freebie access so that it would effect me?
Big Brother Bush is doubleplus ungood.
Please stand by.
Quick, call Jeff Goldblum!
He might be able to find the hidden carrier signal the alien fleet uses to coordinate the attack.
Well... now that that's over with, nothing left to do but go get a life, I suppose.
Telstar 4 has mutinied and is orchestrating the robot rebellion against humanity. The Loral Global Alliance faction's Loral SKYNET program has gone too far this time.
Looking at Telstar 4's coverage map, it's clear that SKYNET plans to strike first in an east-west corridor bounded by New Mexico and Ohio; the killing robot machines will move outward until they capture most of Canada, half of Mexico, and all of Hawaii.
Save us, Terminate SKYNET!
We recently had heard in the office over one of the Yellow Machine that's made by Anthology Solutions.
I think I speak for a large majority of fellow Slashdotters, when I rub my hands together and creepishly ask "Got any job openings there?" (Grabs for inhaler...)
You like feeling like the alpha geek, referring to them as "birds", don't you? King of the hill, baby, you're king of the hill.
Kinda like the Enterprise losing the warp drive, but still having impulse power to putter around.
So, we can expect it to be fixed before the hour is up?
But wait... normally you can only restore warp at the dramatically necessary moment, which is right after a commercial break as the aliens attack. But if Telstar 4 carries the commercials, then we can't have a commercial break! Now what do we do?
Welcome on my friend list.
I always wanted to be able to tell people that I have friends at the Erotic Network.
Not that I can watch Telstar here in Germany, but hey, its the thought that counts.
Rub your hands where?
You know what?
That's the same thing my girlfriend says...
...yes yes yes, and? quite what?
I think Ill speak for the rest of us. WE DO NOT WANT TO KNOW.
Isn't that the place where every network interface is in promiscuous mode? <grin>
I ordered the Jenna Jameson day long movie marathon on PPV this morning and had my PVR and my bottle of lotion at the ready... I am SO screwed.... and not in the good way either...! ;)
Polymorphism -- It's what you make of it.
I was in the sun looking for T4 for about an hour today before I gave up and called in to find out what happened...(I work for Muzak)
Now I get to work all day tomorrow switching dishes to a different bird. Time to break out the aloe-vera and sunscreen.. its going to be a long week.
So what should we assume about the "PBS X" channel, considering all the other pr0n related channels carried.....
1f u c4n r34d th1s u r34lly n33d t0 g37 l41d Capitalization really works: i helped my uncle jack off a horse
This hasn't improved the programming any. Better luck next time? Amy
I think that's the first time we've Slashdotted a satellite.
If I recall correctly, Loral purchased Telstar 4 on eBay using the "Buy It Now" option. Since AT&T was a "gold star" Power Seller with no negative comments in the last six months, it seemed pretty cool.
"...all the labours of the ages, all the devotion, all the inspiration, all the noonday brightness..." yada yada