Slashdot Mirror

← Back to Stories (view on slashdot.org)

Beating Diablo II, Irene The Infirm's Way?

Posted by simoniker on from the sand-no-longer-kicked-in-face dept.

Rimbo writes "I've found a new hero, over at The Lurker Lounge's Diablo II forums, where intrepid adventurer MongoJerry set up an in-game Sorceress according to the following rules: 'No skill or stat points may ever be assigned... She plays fully naked, including no charms or jewelry... She must get all waypoints and fulfill all quests in game order... If she actually gets that far, any mercenary she gets must play naked as well... She plays hardcore.' So, no weapons, no armor, no magic items, no throwing potions. How long will she last playing Diablo II? Astonishingly long! Read on for the surprising Irene the Infirm: Tales of a Sickly Punching Sorceress."

49 comments

  1. Why they do it by Dancin_Santa · · Score: 5, Funny

    I think the following sums up the reasoning behind this latest challenge:

    She plays fully naked

    1. Re:Why they do it by Maserati · · Score: 1

      I think she kicks high too.

      --
      Veteran, Bermuda Triangle Expeditionary Force, 1992-1951
    2. Re:Why they do it by CityZen · · Score: 1

      Well, based on the images in the article, I suppose this means that the person at the keyboard isn't wearing any clothers.

      I think this mode of play would be much more popular if the on-screen graphic were more accurate.

  2. No way by DumbWhiteGuy777 · · Score: 2, Interesting

    Surely she can't beat the Blood Raven. She's extra fast and does a bit of damage, and that sorceress couldn't even beat Bishibosh.

    I think this is going to be a short-lived char =)

    1. Re:No way by Stigmata669 · · Score: 2, Informative

      If you'd RTFA you'd know she beat Act 1.

      --
      Yawn.
    2. Re:No way by illuvata · · Score: 1

      however, blood raven doesn't heal at all, and the AI isn't that great, so you can run away and heal

  3. LOL by Compuser · · Score: 3, Interesting

    Reminds me of how I went thru the entire Quake II
    with only a blaster. No quads either. It's
    always nice to hear about someone going it the
    hard way.

    1. Re:LOL by Bastian · · Score: 1

      I used to deathmatch in Quake2 using only a blaster.

      Not because I wanted to go at it the hard way so much as because it really pissed my friends off when I actually killed them with the pea-shooter. (Even moreso once I got good enough to get a few kills every session)

    2. Re:LOL by Compuser · · Score: 1

      Nah, my interest in playing FPS is never to kill.
      I joke with my friends that I would be a good
      beta tester because my only interest in playing
      these games is finding where the level designer
      made baddies trappable. There was a spider in
      Quake II which was hard to kill with a blaster
      but if you found just the right spot behind one
      of the columns it would get stuck not knowing
      whether to move left or right. Also the big moster
      thingy (tank commander iirc) was fun: you lure it
      to the elevator, go down and walk in just enough
      not to trigger it to go back up. Now you have a
      marginal view of the bad guy. I remember putting
      something heavy on the fire button and going for
      coffee :)

    3. Re:LOL by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Silly dilly

  4. feh by Cuthalion · · Score: 5, Informative

    If you want REAL tales of masochism, check out the nethack newsgroups, and read the posts of people who ascended nudist atheist vegetarian illiterate tourists.

    --
    Trees can't go dancing
    So do them a big favor
    Pretend dancing stinks!
    1. Re:feh by Romothecus · · Score: 1

      This is not off-topic. At least in Nethack it's possible to win the game doing this whereas in the posted story the writer isn't even entertaining the possibilty of completing the later 4/5 of the game...

    2. Re:feh by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Also, diablo is screwed up nethack, so how can a nethack post ever be off-topic in a diablo discussion? I'd say more, but those who don't know nethack, wouldn't understand, and those who do, already understand, so I'd be preaching to the choir. No game like nethack, although I wish there was a cross between nethack and elite... that'd be awesome.

    3. Re:feh by Rimbo · · Score: 1

      Agreed. Diablo is just Nethack with better art, basically. Whoever modded this Offtopic needs to get meta-modded.

    4. Re:feh by Leffe · · Score: 1

      Add the beer-filled icebox and the pacifist challenges and you're in for some real fun.

      But really, has noone tried to beat Diablo II that way yet. I'm really surprised that noone has tried it, the game is soo old and the possibility of challenges rises every year. Just take look at console games.

    5. Re:feh by arkanes · · Score: 1

      This has been done before, on the realms, with a character known (famously!) as NakedSorceress. The rules were a little bit different, but NakedSorceress managed to beat Diablo. Not sure how far she got on the higher difficulties.

    6. Re:feh by 0x0d0a · · Score: 1

      True, though it's a different challenge. Diablo is real-time, so there's more twitch involved. Nethack is a straight strategy game, and the question is how much you want to gamble.

      Damned if this story doesn't make me feel like some Angband-style goodness, though (never was a NetHack fan). I believe I'll fire up Tales of Middle Earth (the most complex and my favorite Angband variant) and have some fun.

      --
      May we never see th
    7. Re:feh by Rimbo · · Score: 2, Interesting

      I believe the difference here is that this is not merely a "naked" sorceress, but a sorceress with no weapons, no items, no skills -- all she can do is run up to monsters and punch 'em out. She can't throw potions. She can't cast spells. She can't get resistances through an amulet. She doesn't get any stronger, healthier, or faster when she levels up. She's a sickly weakling punching her way through the game the entire way.

  5. Not my night by Kurin · · Score: 0, Troll
    MongoJerry, who obviously needs to get laid, really badly: "Hey dudes I got an idea I'm going to play this like 3 year old click-your-way-through-an-adventure-game and not use items or points omg. ps: I'm going to make it into a crappy fiction story with pictures"

    Rimbo: "I bet this would make a GREAT story. I bet there are tons of people interested in this! It's almost as exciting as the poll results for those who want them to bring the McRib back!"

    simoniker, really plastered: "Whoa, naked sorceress? That's so hot."

    What the hell kind of replies does this story get? You expect people to use mod points in less than 3 days with stories like this?

    1. Re:Not my night by scumdamn · · Score: 1

      I have no idea what the game was about but the story really got me. it was great!

    2. Re:Not my night by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Looks like you're doing well for yourself.

  6. Well, that was news for nerds... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    but did it matter?

  7. Not bad! I like the strategy by rbanzai · · Score: 3, Insightful

    Although I don't have the skill or patience for the same task I understand the goal. I've spent many a round of Day of Defeat with nothing but my shovel at hand to dispatch the enemy, or just the pistol. There's something special about foregoing all the typical "power up" type weapons and items and just breaking it down with the bare essentials.

    1. Re:Not bad! I like the strategy by Joe+the+Lesser · · Score: 1

      Ah, so you one of those annoying guys on my team that instead of covering me with a machine gun are running around like fools trying to stab people!

      (woah, had to get that out of my system. Anyway, I guess I'm no better, what with trying to beat the final fantasys at the lowest levels possible.)

      --
      "I only speak the truth"
      Karma: null(Mostly affected by an unassigned variable)
    2. Re:Not bad! I like the strategy by irc.goatse.cx+troll · · Score: 1

      I can't agree with you more. Nothing is worse than being shot at when you're low on hp, only to have your teammate get the knife kill right after you die. This is why I /hate/ any form of player ranking. If you're good, people on your server will know that. Once you start ranking them (especially for stupid things) you get StatWhores(tm) who only play for better stats. I'm even tempted to remove player scores all together on our server (opting to do it the TeamFortress way where everyones playerscore is the teamscore)

      --
      Pain lasts, kid. Its how you know you're alive. Sometimes I think this growing up thing is just pain management-TheMaxx
  8. Impressive! A must read! by Bombcar · · Score: 1

    This is perhaps the sign that we should begin a new form of Gaming Prize: the Impossible Prize.

    I wonder if a Necromancer would be weaker......

    --
    Fellowship 9/11
  9. Well, actually... by Rimbo · · Score: 3, Funny

    Simoniker and I made a pact with the devil. Today, this gets posted to Slashdot. Tomorrow, the main page. Next week, "Irene the Infirm" becomes a TV Movie.

    Oh, you could turn off your TV.

    But then there comes the McDonald's tie-in. "Irene" bumper stickers. The T-Shirt.

    And then on MTV awards night... seen Britney's new costume? That's right. Irene.

    Irene on Coca-cola cans. Irene on billboards. The Irene cartoon show. Irene the breakfast cereal. Irene spam.

    If you are mad now, just wait until three months from now when President Bush declares war on China because of the manufacturing of Irene knock-off Barbies. They'll call Irene "the fictional video game character that launched a thousand cruise missiles." Yeah, not quite as nice as Helen of Troy, but Satan wanted the rest of a bottle of Dahlwhinnie I had in my liquor cabinet for that, and though we'd given up our souls we weren't about to give a drop to that scumbag shit.

    So, uhm, get used to Irene, man...

    1. Re:Well, actually... by judowillreturns · · Score: 1

      And then on MTV awards night... seen Britney's new costume? That's right. Irene.

      Ahem!;

      ...plays naked...

      ooooohhh! I get it! An' yeah, I bet Britney's got a hefty right hook, too.

  10. a challenge anyone? by EpokhusMinimalist · · Score: 5, Funny

    You could do this in Slashdot, try defending SCO

    1. Re:a challenge anyone? by MainframeKiller · · Score: 1

      You could do this in Slashdot, try defending SCO

      You owe me a keyboard!
      I splattered my CRT with the Pepsi that I was drinking when I read this.

      --
      http://www.club977.com/ - The 80's Channel!
      Your source for commercial free 80's music!
  11. Diablo II, just when you thought it just might die by node159 · · Score: 1

    Diablo II just won't go away. Especially with the v1.10 patch, time to dust off the CD after exams :). Got to love that game. Ohh I hate it and love it so much.

    --
    GPLv2: I want my rights, I want my phone call! DRM: What use is a phone call, if you are unable to speak?
  12. Remids me of SOF by freakmn · · Score: 2, Interesting

    I remember trying to play Soldier of Fortune (the original) on the hardest difficulty, only using knives. I passed a bit of the games, then I found it almost impossible to win. It would have been a lot easier if you didn't randomly lose knives when you threw them at people. I got bored after a while, but I didn't have a bunch of people waiting for updates, either. I wonder what will happen in a few weeks when/if this person gets bored.

    --
    warning: This post is likely to contain gobs of dripping sarcasm. Consume at your own risk.
  13. Time/Date Stamp by MMaestro · · Score: 3, Informative
    'Posted: Oct 13 2003, 09:46 PM'

    While reading the thread (its up to 5 pages, most likely going to hit 6 soon thank to this report) keep in mind that this has been going on for nearly a month now. I don't think its even mathamatically possible to get this far after 48 hours of true NON-STOP playing.

    For those who don't/never play/ed Diablo 2, when you're unarmed and using your fists your damage is 1-2 ASSUMING you even connect. This goes for any class, no matter how much strength you have as well. All monsters auto-heal as well, except for certain bosses, so I'm guessing it takes about 3-5+ minutes to kill one regular monster and at least 2 potions.

  14. Re:Diablo II, just when you thought it just might by Kyrthira · · Score: 1

    What really makes me happy is seeing all the skill synergy bonuses. (Druid shapeshifting skills, Assassin traps, and of course the tons of Sorceress skills! Among others, of course.) Each skill adds percentages to damage, and a few others. They also added a bunch of new weapons, upgraded others, new Cube recipes... On the other hand -- Nightmare and Hell difficulties got damn hard. And the minion isn't quite as powerful, either; I haven't checked the higher levels yet.

    --
    ~Kyrthira Phelan~
  15. When did this take place? by M3wThr33 · · Score: 1

    In the summer time? When the weather is hot?

    1. Re:When did this take place? by Rimbo · · Score: 1

      Well, you figure that with all that heat from the demons of Hell, she's gotta be keeping warm that way.

  16. This sounds quite a bit like... by Tickenest · · Score: 2, Interesting

    the concept of the "Bare Naked Mage" from the original Diablo. The idea was that players would use the mage character and try to equip themselves with items that had the worst curses possible, and the worse the penalty you were imposing upon yourself, the more "blessed" you were by the gods. Granted, this type of game allowed players to use the mage's skills, but the idea isn't that far off from this.

    --
    This is the NFL, which stands for "Not For Long" if you keep making those bulls*** calls.
    1. Re:This sounds quite a bit like... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      It was called Beyond Naked Mage.

  17. Try doom + doom2 with just fists ala Tyson by TheLink · · Score: 1

    Do a search on tyson and doom or doom2.

    http://public.planetmirror.com/pub/idgames/lmps/ ty son/

    Whereas Quake II with blaster doesn't sound as difficult - it is a ranged attack after all.

    In comparison try punching a cyberdemon to death. You need about 40+ rockets to kill a cyberdemon. If I gather correctly, you need on average 360 punches to kill a cyberdemon.

    And there are often lots more monsters around in a doom2 level.

    --
    1. Re:Try doom + doom2 with just fists ala Tyson by TheLink · · Score: 1

      Hmm, looks like they allowed other weapons (chainsaw and pistol) in the "Tyson" challenge. Oh well - tsk tsk.

      --
  18. Painful by Kris_J · · Score: 3, Funny

    Wanting to do this is god's way of telling you to move on to a new game.

  19. Great. by jimmyl930 · · Score: 1

    Thanks for the link. This story is awesome. The hardest Diablo 2 character I've ever played was the Firebolt-only Sorceress (inspired by Sirian). I'll try this challenge sometime soon.

  20. This is the coolest thing I've ever read! by NSash · · Score: 1

    This deserves to be immortalized as one of the great gaming epics.

    Better start saving those posts soon... wouldn't want the story to vanish forever...

  21. BNM is a Beyond Naked Mage, not a Bare Naked Mage by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    For what it's worth, that exercise in Diablo I masochism had a chance to beat the game, and many folks did as BNM's. They were led by a nutcase called Woody, the guy who apparently started that craze as a sort of karmic self defense against Diablo I grief PK's on battle.net.

    Irene, should MongoJerry try to complete even normal difficulty without surgery on his index finger, will eventually run into the problem of the max possible damage per frame (coming from her and her naked merc) being exceded by the game's monster regeneration rate, which is up a bit in patch 1.10, the "mod made by Blizzard."

    But will any of us ever know how it turned out?

    Perhaps not. (Unless MongoJerry is also posting at diabloii.net)

    Thanks to the interest of all of you nice folks here at Slashdot, the ISP that hosted the Lurker Lounge choked worse than a cat on a fist sized hairball, and apparently sent much hate mail to the site admin and shut the LL down for a while.

    No malice intended, for sure, but it appears that one more site get's famous and infamous, to the chagrin of its owner:* the Lurker Lounge has now been Slashdotted! /s
    il_Cattivo

    Long Time Lounge Lurker, "first time caller" here

    *(No, it ain't me, I ain't the masochistic sort who would run a fansite - long hours for no pay)

    P.S. Yeah, I'll make a Slashdot account when I get home.

  22. Glad you enjoyed Irene's story, but... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Insightful

    Hello, Slashdot folks! This is MongoJerry, author of Irene's tale. First, I would like to say that I'm glad you enjoyed Irene's tale and am flattered to have had her adventures linked to. I've actually written up three other characters that you might want to check out:

    Grizabella, the Realistic Melee Mage:

    http://diabloii.net/columnists/a-grizabella1.sht ml
    http://diabloii.net/columnists/a-grizabella2.sht ml
    http://diabloii.net/columnists/a-grizabella3.sht ml

    Gunter, the Barbarian Mage:

    http://diabloii.net/columnists/a-gunter1.shtml
    http://diabloii.net/columnists/a-gunter2.shtml
    ht tp://diabloii.net/columnists/a-gunter3.shtml

    Maldar, the Pacifist Hero:

    http://diabloii.net/columnists/a-maldar1.shtml

    However, while I am flattered to have Irene's story publicized, I do have a bone to pick with the Slashdot folks and the original poster of this thread. The thread on the Lurker Lounge was linked to without giving me or the site administrator any warning. The Lurker Lounge is a site for a small community of technically oriented Diablo II fans, and the server is just a computer at a guy's house. The Slashdot publicity created so much traffic to the site that the ISP shut down the connection to the server for overuse of bandwidth.

    What's more, *I'm* the one who's hosting Irene's images. As the stories of my Diablo II characters' adventures started becoming more popular, my ISP bill went from $30/month to $150/month because of all of the extra bandwidth that was being used. I had begun to purposely crop Irene's images more than I had the images of my previous characters just to save some money and was trying to see if I could make some arrangements with other Diablo II folks to host my images. Now, with all the Slashdot traffic, I'm likely to get a horrendous bill -- probably upwards of $500 or more -- because of all of the extra bandwidth used. As I am a starving graduate student subsisting on student loans, this bill is really going to hurt.

    So while I am flattered by the attention and publicity, I am bothered by the lack of warning given to me and the Lurker Lounge site administrator. If we had been warned, I could have pointed you to the guest articles I've written for diabloii.net. I post my initial stories on three different Diablo II message boards to get feedback from people and then reformat those stories for diabloii.net. Diabloii.net is a semi-professional fan site which could have handled the extra Slashdot bandwidth more easily and (even better from my point of view) hosts guest article images directly. Irene's story is scheduled to be posted there in two weeks.

    Thank-you for your time and understanding. I don't have an account here on Slashdot, so you can't get a hold of me by Slashdot means. However, if you would like to e-mail me, you can use the link located at the bottom of the guest articles at diabloii.net I linked to above.

    (Incidentally, if Slashdot would be willing to host my images, I would be happy to give Slashdot an exlusive story on my next character. Also, if someone happens to be on the board of directors for a scholarship fund and would like to help pay for a poor starving graduate student's education and/or ISP bill, please feel free to contact me. Yikes.)

  23. Betting on the "Might," AC? by il_Cattivo · · Score: 1

    "Offtopic, Inflammatory, Inappropriate, Illegal, or Offensive comments might be moderated." While MongoJerry may need to be reminded that

    "when looking for "sympathy" look in the dictionary between "sh__" and "syphillis" your closer would have been more credible had you used your handle. Your advice on limiting incoming has merit.
    Cheers.