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Airspeed Velocity Of An Unladen Swallow
An anonymous reader writes "Finally, the question is answered: What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow? A designer with too much time on his hands uses his new method for graphically representing Strouhal numbers to clarify a truly pressing question for all armchair zoologists (and a few Monty Python fans)."
NONE! ... Shall pass...
.: Max Romantschuk
A 54-year survey of 26,285 European Swallows captured and released by the Avian Demography Unit of the University of Capetown finds that the average adult European swallow has a wing length of 12.2 cm and a body mass of 20.3 grams.
54 years? That's amazing, i think I could copy that research with a shotgun, a measuring tool and a free sunday afternoon.
More research needed.
Yes, finally someone had the balls to answer this question that has been wracking the minds of scientists for ages!
Someone get this man a nobel.
While the intentions are good, the only truly elegant answers for a question like this would be a related to "42" While a laden swallow would most likely be "69" - one can only guess how it would be unladen
No way. An african swallow maybe, but they're not talking 'bout a european swallow.
"I only speak the truth"
Karma: null(Mostly affected by an unassigned variable)
That's not the point. If seek out the most forgotten cave and you install there a switch with the inscription "Doomsday switch - Press here to destroy earth", it's only a matter of time till someone comes by and presses it.
Humans are curious like young cats. And the /.'ers
are the worst of all ;-).
Regards, Martin
But what is your favourite colour?
So what is the speed of 2 swallows, if they are carrying a 1lb coconut strung on a strand of creeper vine held under their dorsal guiding feathers? We need to know! ..
Who's that, then?
I dunno. Must be a king.
Why?
He hasn't got shit all over him.
"You lied to me! There is a Swansea!"
Blue
Everything in the world is controlled by a small, evil group to which, unfortunately, no one you know belongs.
For his next article, can he tell us if the parrot is dead?
Now that we finally know the right question to match the ultimate answer, I suppose the universe can end.
;-)
Somehow it does not surprise me that Douglas Adams and the Monty Python crew are the secret masters of the universe.
"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety."
You have saved us all!
What do you load swallows up with so they are laden swallows?
Donte Alistair Anderson Roberts - hi son!
Karma: Chameleon
The Readers Digest Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
---
What? A swallow carrying a coconut?
It could grip it by the husk!
It's not a question of where he grips it! It's a simple question of weight ratios! A five ounce bird could not carry a one pound coconut!
Who's that, then?
I dunno. Must be a king.
Why?
He hasn't got shit all over him.
Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help! Help! I'm being repressed!
'Tis but a scratch.
A scratch? Your arm's off!
No, it isn't.
She turned me into a newt!
A newt?
Er.. I got better..
We dine well here in Camelot.
We eat ham and jam and spam a lot.
I don't wanna talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!
Run away!
Oh, I am afraid our life must seem very dull and quiet compared to yours. We are but eight score young blondes and brunettes, all between sixteen and nineteen- and- a- half, cut off in this castle with no one to protect us. Oooh. It is a lonely life: bathing, dressing, undressing, making exciting underwear..
We are the Knights Who Say... 'Ni'!
Well, what is it you want?
We want... a shrubbery!
---
Continued next issue..
"You lied to me! There is a Swansea!"
This is so cool. Now, the next time we put Holy Grail in the DVD player, I can watch the scene and be like,
"Actually, that's not correct."
If there were any chicks at these MP parties, I am sure it would go over well.
dmiessler.com -- grep understanding knowledge
11 m/s is approximately 21 knots. So the combined airspeed of two European swallows is... (drumroll) 42 knots.
So now we can answer that other age old question of how efficient is the flight of a wooden cow?
The site has now been mirrored by karma whores on numerous different hosts at great expense and at the last minute.
I can't wait until someone who gets moderated down in this discussion cries out - "Help! Help! I'm being repressed!" - and decries the "violence inherent in the system".
I suspect the arbitrary flight efficiency number will approximate -9.81, somehow...
"Look my liege! Charts describing Strouhal numbers and swallows!"' s only a model."
*trumpets*
"Charts!"
"Charts!"
"It
"Shhh!"
Small potatoes make the steak look bigger.
Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of moderation!
frotz grue
GUARD #1: Where'd you get the coconut?
ARTHUR: We found them.
GUARD #1: Found them? In Mercea? The coconut's tropical!
ARTHUR: What do you mean?
GUARD #1: Well, this is a temperate zone.
ARTHUR: The swallow may fly south with the sun or the house martin or the plumber may seek warmer climes in winter yet these are not strangers to our land.
GUARD #1: Are you suggesting coconuts are migratory?
ARTHUR: Not at all, they could be carried.
GUARD #1: What -- a swallow carrying a coconut?
ARTHUR: It could grip it by the husk!
GUARD #1: It's not a question of where he grips it! It's a simple question of weight ratios! A five ounce bird could not carry a 1 pound coconut.
ARTHUR: Well, it doesn't matter. Will you go and tell your master that Arthur from the Court of Camelot is here.
GUARD #1: Listen, in order to maintain air-speed velocity, a swallow needs to beat its wings 43 times every second, right?
ARTHUR: Please!
GUARD #1: Am I right?
ARTHUR: I'm not interested!
GUARD #2: It could be carried by an African swallow!
GUARD #1: Oh, yeah, an African swallow maybe, but not a European swallow, that's my point.
GUARD #2: Oh, yeah, I agree with that...
ARTHUR: Will you ask your master if he wants to join my court at Camelot?!
GUARD #1: But then of course African swallows are not migratory.
GUARD #2: Oh, yeah...
GUARD #1: So they couldn't bring a coconut back anyway...
GUARD #2: Wait a minute -- supposing two swallows carried it together?
GUARD #1: No, they'd have to have it on a line.
GUARD #2: Well, simple! They'd just use a standard creeper!
GUARD #1: What, held under the dorsal guiding feathers?
GUARD #2: Well, why not?
www.slightlycrewed.com - Because aren't we all?
Do they have one that shows how to lie with girls?
Sorry, I just had to....
...we are from the government - we are here to help...
I don't see what Monty Python has to do with news for nerds, stuff that - Auuuuuuuugh!
To those who got modded +1 Informative:
NI!!!!
(damn you people, you're killing the moment!!!)
// file: mice.h
#include "frickin_lasers.h"
Actually it's "Ni" ;)
Do they have one that shows how to lie with girls?
I believe you're looking for the small, poorly-lit establishment on the edge of town. They have what you're looking for.
http://xkcd.com/386/
Well, that's probably a more reliable source!
I meta-mod all positive moderation Unfair, because it's abuse of the system.
If the people who do liner notes for videos knew anything you'd have to accept that ObiWan Kenobi really saved Luke from the Jawas, and not the Sandpeople (Star Wars laserdisc).
My God, it's Full of Source!
OUTSIDE_IP=$(dig +short my.ip @outsideip.net)
How do you know he's a moderator?
He 'ent got shit ellover'im.
There is much cruelty in the universe, John.
Yeah, we seem to have the tour map.
subtitles? You realize they often use out-of-work nigerian scammers to do the transcription instead of working from the actual script.
There is much cruelty in the universe, John.
Yeah, we seem to have the tour map.
Probably you would be run over and beaten afterwards by people who would complain, that the switch doesn't work. If the switch worked, they would complain too (about lax security measures) if they still could.
Bye, Martin
How can sheep's bladders be used to prevent earthquakes?
Just consider the facts:
B: What causes earthquakes?
A: Sudden slippage along a fault line
B: Ah, but WHY does that cause earthquakes?
A: Because it's a lot of ground moving?
B: No, try again.
A: Because it doesn't slip smoothly?
B: Yes, that's right. So...logically...
A: We could prevent it if we got it to slip smoothly?
B: And what do you slip on all of the time?
A: Sheep urine?
B: Absolutely. And where do you find sheep urine?
A: Sheep bladders.
B: Therefore...
A: If we stick sheep bladders into a fault line, it'll prevent earthquakes!
A: Thank you, Bedevere. Good insight.
B: My pleasure, Oh King.
Mod me down and I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine!
Now if only someone explain how to chop down the largest tree in the forest using only a HERRING!
Jory
Probably you would be run over and beaten afterwards by people who would complain, that the switch doesn't work. If the switch worked, they would complain too (about lax security measures) if they still could
/me ducks.
So, you mean you'd hear complaints from slashdotters?