Slashdot Mirror
LaserMonks Offer Prayer, Printer Cartridges
Minnesotan writes "According to a Twincities.com article: If you need discounted inkjet- or laser-printer cartridges, Wisconsin's LaserMonks say they'll give you a doozy of a deal while you 'support prayer for the world'. The Cistercian priests - yes, they're actual Catholic monks - oversee a novel e-commerce enterprise out of their rural abbey. Proceeds go to maintain the monastery and finance charitable works around the world."
Noticed they were using ASP, from the Evil empire....heathens!!! Oh wait they're monks, and they offer me prayers so does that cancel out and make them ok again?
...in bed
LaserMonks? With a name like that, they've got to be electric!
"They redundantly repeated themselves over and over again incessantly without end ad infinitum" -- ibid.
I guess Xerox wasn't too much off the bat...
Michael Bolton: Load Letter? What the f*ck does that mean?!?!?? You wanna step to this? I didn;t think so!
ThisIsAnExampleAccountGL@yahoo.com
Refilling your Lexmark cartridge isn't just a DMCA violation -- it's a sin!
This is an updated verson of a very old (middle ages) tradition of monastaries doing some specialized task (and doing it well) and using thier product to sell or barter for needed supplies, food, etc...
This practice kept a lot of trades and information alive that might have otherwise died out. It would take a reel jerk to sue them for DMCA violations too =:-)
---
Play Six Pack Man. I
Whether Lexmark will attempt to DMCA them?
That'll make for a wonderful headeline:
"Lexmark to sue monks"
Still, can't help but think of Brother Theo from Babylon 5, great character.
I wonder if slashdoting the website of monks is actually a sin...
Slashdot Sig. version 0.1alpha. Use at your own risk.
After Sharks with frickin laser beams didn't work out.... Dr Evil hatches his next plot - LASERMONKS
mwhhhahhahahaha mwhhhaaaa
Looking over the page's source, it looks like they borrowed a lot of their JavaScript. Talk about copying scripture...
/rimshot
I heard some of these monasteries actually make money off brewing beer!
(Next, they'll be back at handwriting Bibles again for the lack of printing ink...)
"We can confirm that Debian does *not* ship the version with the trojan horse. Our version predates it." [CA-2002-28]
I'm pretty sure slashdotting a bunch of monks is asking for plague, famine, or at least a couple of lightning bolts.
A witchdoctor toner refiller who could put a curse on SCO with each cartridge purchase.
"Eve of Destruction", it's not just for old hippies anymore...
I have no affiliation with Trappestine Quality Candy except that Mom orders it every year around the holidays and it's really good. Just sayin'.
:sigh: Yum!
Ok, so I have an affinity. Check my nick.
Spoon not. Fork, or fork not. There is no spoon.
Wisconsin's LaserMonks say they'll give you a doozy of a deal
Are these LaserMonks related to the Electric Monk by any chance?
"A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of" - Ogden Nash
I'm an athiest!
and a dyslexic too.
"A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of" - Ogden Nash
Or do they first circumsize and baptize everyone who buys a modem from them? :D
*ahem* it is the greek orthodox church, i believe that circumsized and baptizes.....not the catholics
xao
http://TheHillforum.hopto.org
Welcome our new monk overlords, well actually they kinda are if they talk to god and all.
In my prayers tonight: "God, give me strength to put up with my job to take care of my Fiance..."
God: "I can do that for you, but buy some new toner for your HP Laserjet 1100 for only $50 at http://www.lasermonks.com and you'll get a raise and your Fiance will love you forever..."
...in bed
In the year 5057 A.D., a consortum of middle aged monks form a weapons production business, selling their wares exclusively to Christian battle outposts and missionaries in distant galaxies, fighting a holy war against the masses of Romulan infidels...
and so these intergalatic boomstick hawkers called themselves...PhaserMonks.
Boy, could we ever have some fun with this one! Can you prove that Caesar existed? Can you prove that Napoleon tried to conquer much of Europe? Did these things happen: Absolutely! Why? Because there is a great deal of evidence. But how do you prove these things? Impossible! You must weigh the evidence. Saying that Christianity is a fairy tale because of a lack of proof is pretty lame -- not really worthy of slashdot if you ask me.
Are there going to be any comments to this story which aren't modded "funny"? I mean really, what can you say?
Now they are selling us the ink to copy and illuminate whatever manuscripts we want.
Since I'm pretty sure those ancient monks never had permission to copy any of the works they did, does that make them the original data pirates?
1 0WnZ0r y3 0ld 4$5
We used to have a Glory to God
Towing company in Fort Collins.
Having fewer signups into priesthood, the Catholic Church officially announced that they will be issuing standard lasers to people who complete the training program. The Pope noted that "this is a momentous occasion. Since the film Star Wars came out, the Church had contemplated issuing Light Sabers but did not want the public to know that we had such technology. Until now, we only dress like jedi knights."
On a more serious note, it's a difficult job raising money in a monastery. Unless you happen to attract genetically altered rich folks that answer to the name "47" (Hitman 2), you'll need to find creative ways to earn a living. I've heard quite a few that have products for sale ranging from seasonal fruitcake, chocolates, and now toner cartridges.
Wake me when the amish start selling toner cartridges.
lazy...
Monk e-business
BY JULIO OJEDA-ZAPATA
Pioneer Press
More photos JIM GEHRZ PHOTO
The Rev. Bernard McCoy heads up LaserMonks -- when he isn't praying, of course.
SPARTA, Wis. -- Phone calls to LaserMonks' rural headquarters are sometimes tinged with caution or outright suspicion.
Those are awfully good prices for generic inkjet or laser-printer cartridges, a caller might remark after checking the offerings at www.lasermonks.com.
What's the catch?
And, c'mon, you aren't really monks, are you?
A recent caller lost seven years of savings to an online scam artist after trying to book a cruise for herself and her daughters. She vowed never to buy anything else on the Internet.
But with three printers churning out student papers in her Pennsylvania home, she couldn't ignore discounts of up to 90 percent over name-brand cartridges. Look, she told LaserMonks, she had trust issues. She needed the firm to set her mind at ease.
LaserMonks' response helps explain why the two-year-old e-commerce venture based at the Cistercian Abbey of Our Lady of Spring Bank -- yes, with actual Catholic monks -- appears to be on a stratospheric business trajectory.
At a time when online printer-cartridge vendors can trigger mistrust because of some questionable offers clogging inboxes, LaserMonks has seen its gross revenue soar from about $2,000 in 2002 to about $500,000 in 2003. Projected 2004 sales are three to four times higher still.
To pull off this e-tailing feat, LaserMonks has had to win over disbelievers with high-quality products and top-flight customer service along with rock-bottom prices, not to mention small but meaningful gestures its clients don't expect.
The skeptical Pennsylvania mother, for instance, got four cartridges on speculation. Try 'em out, LaserMonks said. If you like them, consider sending us a few bucks. No hurry, take a few months to think it over.
The company soon got paid in full for the shipment, along with a second order for four cartridges.
ORA ET LABORA
The 75-year-old abbey, which has been at its current location about 130 miles southeast of St. Paul for 19 years, isn't the sort of place that screams "e-commerce hotbed."
Perched on a wooded hill, just up an unpaved road and through a decorative gateway, the low-slung composite-stone structure seems bereft of life -- until Gregorian chanting tips off a visitor that white-and-black-robed inhabitants are somewhere about.
Inside a small chapel, a few Cistercian priests melodiously remind themselves of the Latin dictum ora et labora -- prayer and work, always in that order.
Only then does the 36-year-old Rev. Bernard McCoy trod through a carpeted hallway to his modest office -- the LaserMonks nerve center. From there, he oversees a nationwide network of people and facilities in his practical role as the abbey's "steward of temporal affairs."
McCoy's key role: generating cash to support the abbey along with its complex array of charitable causes around the world. That also means overseeing a modest portfolio of real-estate holdings. One recent day, he haggled good-naturedly with the local tax assessor over one property's perceived value.
Before LaserMonks came about, McCoy obsessed over other ideas for turning his perennially cash-strapped monastery into a money machine. Until last year, he sold spiritual books and other religious items on the Web. For a while, he oversaw a program to move and renovate homes due for demolition. He has considered cultivating shiitake mushrooms, building a golf resort and breeding Christmas trees.
This is a common issue for monasteries, convents and other such communities, which typically must support themselves.
Trappistine nuns in Dubuque, Iowa, make candy. Nearby Trappist monks build caskets. Oregon Trappists warehouse wine. Massachusetts Trappists make jams and jellies. Belgian Trappists brew beer. Filipino monks and nuns make fruit concoctions d
This sig blantantly stolen by a pack of robo-monkeys.
And where would geeks be without caffeine? Try Monastery Blend Coffee from the Christ the All-merciful Saviour Russian Orthodox Monstery on Vashon Island near Seattle. Excellent stuff.
And the brethren went away edified.
Would you like friars with that?
One line blog. I hear that they're called Twitters now.
Read the article: Rev. Bernard McCoy runs the operation. Is he 'real' enough? :)
do they only sell Brother ink cartridges?
Citations, please?
I'm pretty sure they did. Because many of the copied manuscripts have little line-counts in the margins, called stichoi, noting how many lines the scribe copied that day, so that the person hiring the monks to do the work knew how much to pay him. Perfectly legitimate job.
You cannot apply a technological solution to a sociological problem. (Edwards' Law)
The REAL plug 'n pray ;-)
I am not a number! I am a man! And don't you
If you don't at least see little people its not really worth it. I'll just have another Guinness.
Quack, quack.
Very few people are "uncircumcized", which is a difficult bit of plastic surgery The word is "intact".
/. poll?
Yes, my mistake with the terminology.
I believe your assertion that "very few" people are circumcized may apply only to the US. Many people outside the US are "intact". There is no medical reason why the procedure is performed - anyone who bathes on a regular or even semi-regular basis has nothing to worry about in the genital hygene dept.
Perhaps this is a new
- Yes, I've been cut.
- No, I'm all there.
- I'm female you jackass.
- I have no genitals you insensitive clod!.
-
Ok maybe not.
I'd rather be a conservative nutjob than a liberal with no nuts and no job.
Gamingmuseum.com: Give your 3D accelerator a rest.
I am a monkhelper and because of the wonderful newspaper article about Lasermonks and the traffic from your site, our webhost shut us down because traffic was flooding the server. We greatly apologize for this and would love for one of you techno-wiz-people to recommend a good host that will grow with us and allow us as much bandwidth as we need. And yes, they really are monks and are extraordinary human beings. I like to say that the vision behind Lasermonks is "technology meets theology" with a bit of spice.
Are you willing to be open minded and take into consideration that our web host cut us off due to unusually high traffic? We had to do more than pray to get back up and running.