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Microsoft Plans WinXP "Reloaded"
An anonymous reader writes "Looks like Microsoft changed their minds and are planning a new OS release before Longhorn. They are calling it XP Reloaded."
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I Googled "XP Reloaded" just for kicks.
Based on the results page, I think they really do need another release -- nearly every single query result was a question about how to reload the operating system because a bunch of shit just stopped working!
Once XP Reloaded comes out, I can't wait to query for "XP Reloaded Reloaded" and see if the number of results returned decreases at all, or if the MS tards just add more bugs with every "bug fix". Hahahaha!
Reply or e-mail; don't vaguely moderate. Ex-O'Reilly/MIT employee, now a full-time Google employee.
Is this a fortelling of things to come? Did the Oracle prophetize these events? Is it fate that the next two versions of windows are doomed to be over hyped and inferior to the original in nearly every way shape and form?
Warner Bros takes Billy to court over using the name Reloaded.
Actually what I'm thrilled about (even if others say its horribly inefficient) is the 3D accelerated desktop that is supposed to be in Longhorn, and doing away with 2D acceleration. The Mac has it, why can't we?
Though I doubt Reloaded will have it as it would take away the Longhorn hype
Candle burns its brightest in the dark
XP Rebooted?
Or can it?
Everyone that disagrees with me is a paid shill
This reminds me of a phrase posted here on slashdot about the movie " How about I give you the finger and you give me my 10 dollars back!"
how long until
...followed in 2006 by Longhorn, aka "Microsoft XP Revolutions"
Every once in a while I like to masturbate a new word into my vocabulary, even if I don't know what it means.
Why do I get the feeling that the lead programmer on this project is called Neo?
Do they know how many times I've "reloaded" XP for friends and family members? Seriously.
Not much difference from what they did with 98SE or 95B (or 95C).
Says the latest virus to XP.
Windows RG
Jesus. That's so lame.
That's like in high school when you'd be hanging out at your friend's house and his dad would be one of those guys who thought he was cool but he was actually terribly out of touch. You know, the kind of guy who would come downstairs in like 1998 and say something like, "What are you guys doing? Listening to Nirvana?" in a desperate attempt to seem cool and "with it."
-- atomly
It WILL boot up, but the boot-up sequence will be 150 copies of Clippy fighting the Windows logo.
I've got more mod points and GMail invi
Definitely going to be the blue pill.
...the bomb. No, I mean: ...for jokes galore. Consider:
"Like the original, except everyone's disappointed with it."
"Reloaded? More like reBOOTed! BURN!"
"Here comes Desktop Agent Clippy Smith! 'It looks like you're trying to type a letter, Mister Anderson...'"
"XP has you!"
And so on.
"A great democracy must be progressive or it will soon cease to be a great democracy." --Theodore Roosevelt
Heck, I can reload XP for free . . . but at least even Microsoft is now acknowledging that is one of the only way to fix their buggy software.
Does that mean there's going to be a shit load of exploits produced in the current XP ?
...with Duke Nukem: Forever will be particularly popular.
AC comments get piped to
Gives new meaning to "a glitch in the matrix", doesn't it?
*crickets*
sorry.
I've got more mod points and GMail invi
"Hm... upgrades."
Yeah, today's bits just don't seem to age as gracefully as the bits o' yore. I blame it on the advent of antivirus software. Software doesn't get the chance to build up a natural immunity anymore...
Does this mean it will have lots of pretty graphics and effects with little actually substance and meaning behind it? Like other things titled "Reloaded"?
Outdoor digital photography, mostly in New Engl
I do not think that word means what you think it means.
Or maybe they're just a bunch of hippocrates.
What, they are ancient greek doctors?
My Karma: ran over your Dogma
StrawberryFrog
[rantorama]
Every other friggin' product/event/whatever this last year has been been "XXX Reloaded". It's meaningless and stupid. C'mon marketers, learn a new phrase...
Unless "reloaded" now means "mediocre followup"... in which case, "XP Reloaded" is redundant.
[/rantorama]
"Faith: Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel." - A.B.
Woah....
webpage
2) The phone number of MS, so you call them when ever you change a piece of hardware and that stupid internet activation doesn't work any more, after only two install on the same PC.
3) No media player, Thanks eurotrash.
4) No web browser or will there be more than one, which it will load all of them just in case you couldn't make up your mind when did the install questions.
5) DRM DRM DRM DRM DRM and some more DRM that...
6) Spies on your media and playing habits.
7) A more "cat" like user interface?
8) MS-tunes(TM) for your M-capsule(TM)?
How about XP Unplugged? Now that I'd pay money for.
Yeah it already came with XP Preloaded.
Microsoft will be announcing further products in their "Reloaded" range which will include Office Reloaded, Visual Studio Reloaded, Outlook Reloaded and The Browser, Reloaded.
... I guess
tell Microsoft that their calenders are all fucked up.
April 1st is a ways away yet.
Or is this more from the new Microsoft Time Travel Engine (TM)?
God, you'd think that after their latest public gaff that they'd just hunker down for a while and rethink their strategy, but NO...
I'm over the line from disgusted to sheer pity. Must be some good crack they're smoking over at 1 MS Way.
Fer crying out loud
Vulnerabilities aren't exploited until we release a patch for the "hackers" to reverse engineer, and NOW THEY'RE GOING TO PATCH IN A MAJOR WAY THE WHOLE OS.
gaaarrrgghhhhhhh *choke*
SB
It's old. The more humans I meet, the more I like my cats. At least they are honest.
Yet another OS we have to stick in our testing matrix. Sigh...
Who Knows, will Dot marry a useless GUI or a XP worm/virus/trojan!
This is Mike the TV, saying Stay tuned!
reminds me of this
You mean Hippocrates as in the Hippocratic oath? Part of which reads:
I will follow that system or regimen which, according to my ability and judgement, I consider for the benefit of my patients, and abstain from whatever is deleterious and mischievous.
I don't think Microsoft could ever be credibly accused of being a bunch of hippocrites.
In theory, practice and theory are the same. In practice, they're not.
--
"Outlook not so good." That magic 8-ball knows everything! I'll ask about Exchange Server next.
All it takes is a glance at the imdb.
I think "you got served" is a pretty good candidate myself.
Don't you know that Longhorn is waiting for Duke Nukem Forever to be released to really show all of it's capabilities?
One you missed.
It's really quite funny.
Does "Windows XP" sound like "Matrix"?
Does "Windows XP Reloaded", found in the computer section of a store, in a box matching that of computer software, sound like something that could be confused with a movie found in the movie section of a store?
When you're renting a movie will you become confused with your choices?
"I thought the kids said... MATRIX Reloaded... but this says.... WINDOWS XP Reloaded.... I am so senile."
Eventually after six months, and Windows slows down or goes belly up,
everyone runs Windows, reloaded. (Probably more than once).
I on the other hand believe it is just an attempt by M$ to get more money. Hence a better name would be XP 2: The Search For More Money. Rather than fixing the bugs in the OS, they will now sell 'updates' which will do the exact same thing - fix the bugs by introducing more serious ones so the old ones don't look quite so bad anymore.
There's a growing sense that even if The Future comes,
most of us won't be able to afford it.
-- Lemmy
Whoah!
"My Windows XP just crashed. Now I gotta reload it" :D
It reminds me of this Bill Gates Matrix spoof:
http://www.fromp.org/gates-1.jpg
# wrote sig.txt, 23 lines, 31337 chars
...as it's the only way to get a really secure Windows box.
"There is more worth loving than we have strength to love." - Brian Jay Stanley
There is no service pack
AT&ROFLMAO
XP Rebooted
"We are exploring ways to add value to Windows XP."
To me, that sounds like newspeak for "We are exploring ways to get existing XP users to pony up extra cash."
I read it as Microsoft admitting XP currently has no value. But maybe I'm just cynical...
Disclaimer: This comment was generated by a Flock of Trained Microsoft Programmers for Aqua_Geek.
Had to say it
Intel givith and Microsoft taketh away
WindowsXP: Kill Bill vol.1?
"Software is like sex: it's better when it's free."
Well, it's better than Windows XP: A New Hope.
Or, as someone else said, Windows XP: Return of the King.
Maybe a better name would be Windows XP: The Phantom Menace.
Or Windows XP 2: 2 Farked 2 Frivolous.
Is it me or does it seem that Microsoft lacked total creativity when coming up with this cheesey, Matrix rip-off of a name?
Mr. Balmer,
I am not an idiot. The company that I work for is not populated by idiots, either.
It has become increasingly apparent in the past few years that Microsoft is clearly more interested in Microsoft's business and less and less interested in ours. Your penchant for adding meaningless and often useless features to your software while ratcheting up the "Draconian" knob on your license amplifier is blatent, obvious and conveys a serious lack of respect for your customers.
Now go away before I taunt you a second time.
"A microprocessor... is a terrible thing to waste." --
GeneralEmergency
Maybe it's time to stop adding value and start subtracting crappiness.
Love, Masque.
P.S. Please open the enclosed attachment.
...you insert your brand new copy of the much-awaited Windows XP Reloaded and it reboots your system and reinstalls XP?
-------
"In times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act."
-- George Orwell
XP Mainframe: Speak
Tux: The program Clippy has grown beyond your control. Soon he will spread through this 64 bit Architecture as he spread through the 32. You cannot stop him, but I can.
XP Mainframe: We don't need you. We need nothing.
Tux: If that's true, then I've made a mistake and you should charge me a license fee now.
XP Mainframe: What do you want?
Tux: Peace
...that the next Windows release, that being XP Reloaded, will wander around aimlessly during install never really making any progress, whilst showing big exploding splash screens and lots of half naked people in transparent clothes and cutting rapidly to Bill G getting his sex on with some 50 year old shemale to the beat of a crappy wannabe Jungle/Tribal soundtrack?
Or even better, how about it sets the initial timeline for install at say...oh...7 hours, then somewhere in the middle it gets sped up to 30 minutes remaining, then at the very end goes back to 24 hours before just somehow being done? All the time playing the aforementioned crappy Jungle/Tribal/Industrial crap soundtrack and exploding randomly?
I know, it already does that, sans the Bill G sex and crappy soundtrack, guess that's why it would be a "new release" if they added that stuff to the install.
"But that's just my opinion, I could be wrong" - Dennis Miller
Seems that someone's calender is a month or so off. All M$ stories seem to be jokes. Check it out. [Slashdot.org] They can't be serious...
-DB-
E-mail is like a prison: a prison with no walls... and no toilet. -Strong Bad
Great - now I'll need to put GeForce4's in my servers...
"Sometimes a woman is a kind of religion, she can save your soul & set you free from all your sins" - Bad Examples
XP Forever, and it'll be released "when it's done".
Perhaps the name should be:
"Bank Account: Reloaded"
Oh wait -- I guess they already have $20 billion sitting around. How about:
"Analyst Estimates: Reloaded"
We could always make a distro of Linux and call it Windows XP Gone.
Windows is as solid as quicksand.
Damn, thats not just funny; you've made it into my all-time greatest quotes file!
we got 1D and were THRILLED! The characters came out in one line, and it really forced you to improve your reading speed, because it didn't scroll up.
And we were LUCKY, and we knew it! There were two standards in the competing generation. One standard showed one letter at a time, and you had to build words and sentences in your head. The other standard was Morse code with dots and dashes in a 1D line.
And of course the generation before THAT was 0D. Though they did get the option for the light to blink in Morse, ASCII, or EBCDIC.
The living have better things to do than to continue hating the dead.
Ever since I switched to Linux, I've called it -
Windows "Unloaded"
I can't afford a sig!
They should call it Windows XP Rebooted, to better convey the notion of using a stable and secure OS from the people who brought you IIS and Outlook.
AC
Microsoft SmithX Agent
A small utility which greatly speeds and simplifies implementation of dos copy command as well as FileCopy API function.
Microsoft Oracle SQL
A complete replacement for Oracle Oracle, Microsoft Oracle is a database engine with Stupid Query Language. Now, You can give simple questions as "Uh?" or "Eh?" to your OLAP data cube.
Microsoft Architect
New antivirus tool. In case of vrus or worm detection, it completely wipes out anything from your hard disk and keeps your computer clean and safe, reinstalling a pure initial version of XP reloaded without your intervention.
There you are, staring at me again.
From the article: "A company executive confirmed to CNET News.com on Thursday that Microsoft is now discussing a product internally referred to as "Windows XP Reloaded."
/. ppl spew forth with sad jokes about the lameness of MS' internal code name and the fact that they are a greedy corporate behemoth. 500 posts! All that time and energy taken away from making Linux's star shine even brighter! So if MS does come out with "XP Unloaded", by all means, DON'T UPGRADE. Use Linux, make it better. But PLEASE Slashdot editors: Stop seeding the site with these MS-related "stories". And Slashdot posters: Enough with the masterbatory carping over how STOOPID Microsoft is. We GET IT. NEXT!
So MS is DISCUSSING the POSSIBILITY of an XP re-release. Yup. If MS can add code and apps that they percieve will add value for a significant number of customers, they may package it up and sell it:
* Make software
* Package it
* Sell it
* Support it
* Profit
What a concept! That's what they do. Perhaps the extra revenue will come in handy since it looks like Longhorn will be delayed even longer. But look what happens when story is posted? 500+
Is this sig nificant?
Oh no. Imagine a million of those asinine little paperclips. "We've been waiting for you, Mr [fill in the blank]..."
Someone has *got* to port the xmatrix screensaver, though...
if the answer isn't violence, neither is your silence / freedom of expression doesn't make it alright
ApoXPalypse Now Redux
Har har.
they should call it Windows Restarted haha
I suggest this excellent parody trailer of the Matrix called the Matrix XP : http://www.matrix-xp.com/ Nothing could fit more the situation ;-)
Slashdot anagrams to "Sad Sloth"
Founder of Mirror Moon - Tsukihime Game Trans
2) Windows Re-installed from scratch.
3) Windows Removed.
4) Windows Replaced (with an OS that works better...)
Windows is everywhere. It is all around us. Even now, in this very room. You can see it when you boot up, when you go to work, when you pay your taxes. It is the OS that has been pulled over your eyes to blind you from the truth.
...into this: *holds up a Duracel*
What truth?
That you are a slave, Neo. Like evreyone else you were born into bondage. Born into a prison you cannot taste or smell or touch. A prison for your computer.
What is XP? Control. XP is a system, built in order to change a human being...
That its software is like a gun to your head.
If someone says he and his monkey have nothing to hide, they almost certainly do.