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What Was Your Worst Computer Accident?

Anonymous Writer writes "I learned years ago to backup regularly and never keep a drink on the same table as a laptop. I accidentally spilled a drink onto my laptop's keyboard where it drained into the laptop's innards, ruining the motherboard, CD-ROM, and hard drive. Thousands of dollars and all my data disappeared in a flash. Considering that there are even people out there that intentionally damage hardware, I was wondering what kind of disasters Slashdot readers have experienced."

45 of 1,542 comments (clear)

  1. Worst computer accident? by Zorilla · · Score: 5, Funny

    I'd have to say one of the worst computer accidents I had was ruining my Slashdot ID by attempting a first post.

    --

    It would be cool if it didn't suck.
    1. Re:Worst computer accident? by Piobaire · · Score: 5, Funny

      My worst was as a linux newbie. I was running linux from Win95. While in linux, I accidently installed LILO. My wife needed win95 and I didn't know how to boot into it; there were NO instructions in the SuSE manual and nobody at SuSE's support center that could tell me to hit the TAB key. It was a very bad day.

    2. Re:Worst computer accident? by Tim+Browse · · Score: 5, Insightful

      Well, I for one am amused by the fact that after the posts by all the Linux fans saying "Win98 - worst accident ever! hahahahahaaaa!" there is a post from one Linux user who mistyped a command and vaped his hard drive when he was trying to copy some data onto a floppy, and someone else who accidentally installed a boot loader and disabled an OS.

      Let's just say that again: accidentally installed a boot loader.

      But Win9X is the big accident, oh yes ;-)

    3. Re:Worst computer accident? by SageMusings · · Score: 5, Funny

      Damn you,

      Do you realize I got blamed for that? Thanks loads, buddy.

      --
      -- Posted from my parent's basement
  2. mkswap by seann · · Score: 5, Interesting

    mkswap /dev/hda1
    instead of swapon /dev/hda3

    hda1 = data
    mda3 = swap

    --
    I'm a big retard who forgot to log out of Slashdot on Mike's computer! LOOK AT ME.
  3. Mouse Pee by AngusOg · · Score: 5, Interesting

    December 23, 1998 - Before leaving work I tried connect to my home web server to transfer some files. The connection timed out. That seemed odd. I was just on a couple of hours ago.

    Got home. The screen's frozen on the computer. Ctl-alt-Del...Nothing. Reboot... the monitor doesn't even come on! Ok, take the cover off, get out the canned air, blow dust off the components, see if anything is loose.

    Holy shit! I see a mouse wandering around inside the computer!

    I think about getting something to kill it, but don't want to mess up the hardware, so I shake it out. It drops out and neither the cat or dog see it as it scurries under the couch.

    After about 30 minutes of sleuthing I find that the Ethernet card is blown. It's got a nice little burn mark on one of the chips where the mouse apparently PEED on it!

    Well a quick trip down to Compu USA and everything is back in order. The cat's still sleeping on the couch -- but it's only a matter of time before one of us frag's that mouse!

    Lesson: Don't leave any of your slot covers off the back of your computer.

    1. Re:Mouse Pee by jZnat · · Score: 5, Funny

      I'd also recommend that you don't feed your computer. Computers are _inatimate_objects_, not to be confused with pets that need food and water. I know you might think you'll get an extra MHz or 2, but that food is _really_ unneccessary...

      --
      'Yes, firefox is indeed greater than women. Can women block pops up for you? No. Can Firefox show you naked women? Yes.'
  4. I bought a Dell. by ArsSineArtificio · · Score: 5, Funny
    Er, that's it, really.

    --
    All employees must wash hands before seeking equitable relief.
    1. Re:I bought a Dell. by Zorilla · · Score: 5, Funny

      Dude, you're getting a +5 Funny!

      --

      It would be cool if it didn't suck.
    2. Re:I bought a Dell. by GoogolPlexPlex · · Score: 5, Funny

      So are you, apparently.

  5. The Worst. by jellomizer · · Score: 5, Funny
    Well It was a pretty productive week at work and I was at full force with no time to backup. After finishing about 2000 line HTML and Javascript file I went to the command shell I figured Ill just delete some data files that my tests made. I did an
    rm -rf *
    I hit enter. Then I Went D'oh! It took me 3 hours of searching threw the Browser Cache to get them back up (then I had to reformat them for my program) I was damn lucky that the browsers kept a cache.
    --
    If something is so important that you feel the need to post it on the internet... It probably isn't that important.
    1. Re:The Worst. by bwhaley · · Score: 5, Funny

      I had a similar problem once. Up until about 2am finishing a TCP/IP simulator program in C for my networking class. Had the project basically finished, was just cleaning up, and did "rm -rf core *" instead of "rm -rf core*" (note the space!). I was using a box with ext3 instead of ext2 - doh! Can't just unmount the filesystem and go find your file with ext3. I had to vi the entire filesystem (~12GB) and patch together pieces of the file. The program never did work right again and I ended up with a B on the assignment (only B ever in that class :(). Needless to say, I learned my lesson and now use Snapshots.

      In a somewhat unrelated (and more painful) story, using my vast intellect I once attempted to replace a PCI card (of some sort) in a running computer and shocked the shit out of myself. Twice . In less than ten minutes. Apparently I didn't learn that lesson.

      - Ben

      --
      "I either want less corruption, or more chance
      to participate in it." -- Ashleigh Brilliant
    2. Re:The Worst. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Insightful


      tar czf /backupdir/`date +%Y%m%d`.tar.gz /home/directory
      find /backupdir -name \*.tar.gz -mtime +30 -print0 | xargs -0r


      will keep 30 days of full backups. Obviously, if depends on how much space you have, but an IDE disk is cheaper than recreating your work, and unless your work is video editing, your work shouldn't require much space to back up. If you want to get fancier, use incrementals to save space, keep indexes, etc, there's plenty of software out there.

      But don't wait for the perfect solution! Start automated, periodic backups now! Drop whatever you are doing and just do it. Don't finish reading this slashdot story. Don't wait until you get something to eat or go to the bathroom. Your pants are less valuable than your data. Backups are not something you can afford to do whenever you get around to it, or to put off doing until you get it perfect.

  6. Comment removed by account_deleted · · Score: 5, Funny

    Comment removed based on user account deletion

  7. spilling acetone on a sony vaio laptop by emmastrange · · Score: 5, Interesting

    $100 to replace the *melted* keyboard. note to self: never remove nail polish near a computer.

  8. chown -R root:root .* by robolemon · · Score: 5, Interesting
    Not exactly the worst thing to do, except that it was to someone else's system.

    I did a

    chown -R root:root .*
    on my friend's machine, in order to change permission on all of the hidden directories and files. I didn't think that ".." and all of its subdirectories would also be traversed, which coupled with the "-R" changed ownership on every file on her computer.
    --

    I design user interfaces for a free network management application,

    1. Re:chown -R root:root .* by dspeyer · · Score: 5, Informative
      chown -R root:root .*

      Ouch. Now I realize that the right expression for this is not easy to come up with. I think .!(|.) would work if you are using bash with extended globing enabled. But can anybody come up with something better with the same result.

      This is when I do things like find . -iname '.*'|awk '{print "chown root:root " $0}'|less and then check it by hand. If it looks right, replace less with sh and let it run.

      Hope this Helps,

  9. Way Back in 1970 by Lucas+Membrane · · Score: 5, Funny
    I was working a summer job programming a departmental minicomputer in a large (NYSE) company. As I was tidying up my work on my last day, returning to college the following day, I started a re-org on the hard drive. A few seconds later, it occurred to me that I wanted to do something else, so, I hit the reset switch on the machine's front panel.

    Hitting reset in the middle of a re-org is a bad idea. Department lost everything, except that it didn't really lose everything. Everything was still in files, but the files were scrambled. They printed out the contents of each file, figured out what file each fragment belonged to, and typed it all back in.

    Fortunately, this hard disk was only a megabyte or so.

  10. I did something similar.. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Once, during the 70s, I accidentally spilled Pepsi on the control panel at the Two Mile Island nuclear power plant, and Jimmy Carter came to fix it, and he was irradiated and grew to over 50 feet...

    Boy that was embarassing.

  11. Re:Cookies in the psu by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    In Internet Explorer, go to Tools > Internet Options > Security, and make sure there is a check mark next to "Block power supply cookies". I don't know why MS didn't turn that on by default.

  12. Being robbed by Ugodown · · Score: 5, Insightful

    The worst 'accident' I had was letting people know I had a kick ass computer. There is absolutely no data recovery when you computer is stolen and it's not physically there anymore.

    --
    --- to swing on the spiral...
  13. Honest by soloport · · Score: 5, Funny

    Purchasing Windows 98.

    After more than 15 years in Unix-land, why did I make *that* move? What was I thinking? I'm so glad that it was about that time that Linux made Unix accessible "for the rest of us".

    1. Re:Honest by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Insightful

      Could be worse: you could have bought Windows ME

    2. Re:Honest by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      my sister-in-law's g-pa had a 486 in which he coundn't get the cd drive to open. he used a hammer and a screwdriver to open the drive. he lost the drive and the cd in the drive. I replaced the drive and told her to tell him the first step in fixing his computer is to go to the garage and lock his tool box. step two is to call me.

    3. Re:Honest by Squinky86 · · Score: 5, Interesting

      Hey, I owe a debt of gratitude to WinME. As avid Win98 fans, my dad and I went out and bought WinME when it first came out. On all my dad's systems, it works great, and he still uses it. Dunno how, but it...works. On my systems, the story was quite different. I quickly tried to find an alternative to using the inferior operating system and came across linux. I have never looked back. So here's to WinME, the operating system that changed my life for the better! Thank you Microsoft, you have shown me the way :).

  14. Duck poop fried my keyboard... by RoTNCoRE · · Score: 5, Funny

    In highschool I did a project on animal behaviour for a biology class, which entailed imprinting a duckling on myself, and carrying it around everywhere for the duration of the project, and observing. I was working on my computer, with the duckling on the desk in front of me, and it started doing its 'I'm gonna dump walk'...stepping backwards, wings outstreched and ass up. Next thing I knew, the keyboard was hit around the F keys with a wet one, and it gave out almost instantly. I wonder if anyone else has lost hardware to a duck?

    1. Re:Duck poop fried my keyboard... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny
      This is totally off-topic... as no computer was involved... but your duck poop brought to mind one of the funniest incidents I have seen in a long time.

      I was at Disneyland ( California ). There were a gaggle of ducks around the area around the boats. A young child, full of the magic of the Disney environment, excitedly chased, and caught, a duck, holding it up high for all to see. "Momma! Momma! I gotta Duck!!!!".

      Well, the duck let fly with a humongous amount of poop. Didn't know that much poop could fit in a duck.

      The kid was drenched. He had an audience of at least 1,000 onlookers each having cameras to capture magic moments. Everywhere I looked, the kid was at the center of hundreds of lenses. And the look on his momma's and poppa's face...

      The duck was promptly released, and the kid and parents just kinda disappeared.

  15. Rookie Linux mistake by eatenn · · Score: 5, Funny
    About 7 years ago I decided to give Linux a try. I ordered a bunch of distro's off the web and my irc friends urged me to install Debian.

    Debian, especially back then, was not a good newby distro. After installing it, I was left at a blank terminal thinking, "Okay, now what."

    In my frustration trying to set up X, I decided "to hell with it, I'll install Slackware," and I hastily did a "rm -rf /"

    As I listened to my noisy hard drive chug a long, I remembered that I had mounted my Windows partition.

    "But surely Linux will know I only wanted to rm the Linux part."

    Yeah, I was wrong.

    --
    "But the cars are all flashing me, bright lights are passing me, I feel life passing me by" - Stiff Little Fingers
  16. When I was in college and Linux was young... by Fished · · Score: 5, Funny
    When I was in college, I would (once or twice a semester) drink ... to excess. This was in the early 90's, I had a Linux box, and I was pretty stinking impressed with myself for having 'root' on it. One night, stinking drunk and stinking impressed, I created a directory called '*' in the root directory of my hard drive. I was utterly impressed with my own wisdom and capabilities and /power/, being young, drunk, and root.

    The next morning, I wake up, somewhat hung over, and decide that this directoy was a /stupid/ idea. So, I execute the obvious command:

    rm -rf /*
    I then wander off in search of some tylenol, and come back with two term papers irretrievably lost.

    The obvious moral of this story is, "don't root under the influence." (From my more mature perspective, I would like to suggest that drinking less might also be a good plan.)

    --
    "He who would learn astronomy, and other recondite arts, let him go elsewhere. " -- John Calvin, commenting on Genesis 1
    1. Re:When I was in college and Linux was young... by Komi · · Score: 5, Interesting
      Just last week a friend from work was setting preferences in this programs and told it to grab files out of $HOME. The program didn't know how to do variables substitution, so it created a local directory called $HOME. So my friend saw it there and ran 'rm -rf $HOME'. Afterwards I explained a couple of points to him:

      1) don't be too hasty using rm -rf

      2) you must escape special characters like $

      He actually killed the rm early on, so he didn't lose too much.

      He felt kind of silly doing this, but then I explained what I once did. I was testing a kickstart script so I kept reformatting this machine. I decided to do a rm -rf / just to see what would happen. I did that Friday night and came back Monday morning. When I got in, everyone in our group was complaining that their home directories were missing. Then I relized my own lesson to be learned:

      3) Always unmount the NFS directories before reformatting a computer.

      --
      The ultimate goal of science is to unify all forces of nature to a single law that can be silk-screened onto a T-shirt.
  17. Don't drop the server. by krhainos · · Score: 5, Funny

    Worst accident has to be accidentally dropping a (still running) webserver powered off a UPS (which I was also carrying). The hardware damage and data loss caused wasn't worth the uptime I was trying to keep :-/

    --
    -K
  18. My Top 10 List by Devil's+BSD · · Score: 5, Funny

    10. breaking off the contact part of a PCI card while trying to extract it. The PCI slot is still unusable to this day. Not that I use that old computer anymore though.
    9. Sitting on a brand new Pentium 4 accidentally, bending all the pins
    8. Not getting a UPS/surge strip/voltage regulator. Over time, the voltage irregularities caused my power supply to literally catch on fire.
    7. Installing Windows.
    6. Falling for the "hey, try rm -rf /" trick
    5. Dropping a monitor down the stairs
    4. Taking over an NT domain accidentally by running samba as a PDC
    3. Leaving a P4 laptop running inside a closed, insulated laptop case. Literally everything overheated.
    2. "Accidentally" adding DELTREE C:\ /Y to a Windows NT Logon script. Ah, the good old senior pranks.
    1. Posting this list on Slashdot.

    --
    I'm the Devil the Windows users warned you about.
  19. My first Trojan Horse by rworne · · Score: 5, Funny

    Back in 1983 or 1984 when I was in my last year of high school, we used to carry around our 5 1/4" floppies in plastic boxes. Those of us that were quite proficient on the Apple II were assigned as teachers' assistants and had our assignments plus pirated games on these disks.

    The problem was, while we were helping other students, some people would steal disks because they were expensive and we had all the coolest games.

    One day after my entire box disappearing, I sat in the lab pissed. I wrote an INIT program for the Apple DOS that would ask for a password, two wrong guesses and it would trash the disk and erase itself from RAM. My first attempt was pretty much done, but I had no disks because they were recently stolen. So I saved it on the classroom disk everyone stores their work on. I named it "DO NOT RUN THIS PROGRAM" and left for the day.

    The following day, I arrived and the instructor grabbed be by the shirt and shoved me up against the wall and shouted:
    "Did you save a program the the class disk called 'do not run this program'? Because some little asshole decided to run it and we lost all the assignments and all of my grades for the semester!"

    I did what anyone would do in that situation. I lied my ass off.

    Another example:

    Flash forward 12 years or so. In the lab at my company. We are trying out control software for relay control on an electrical switches about the size of filing cabinets. There are about 128 relays in each, and the suckers were hooked up on 120VAC. This was our only time to run test software before they got shipped out to the customer the next day.

    Started up the software and all seemed ok. An odd smell started and I noticed the room's ambient light was changing... sorta orangish. I turned around and they were glowing hot and smoke was billowing out. I killed power, but it was way too late. 2-3" holes were burned in the PC boards. Later I found out the tech who hooked up the power didn't know what to hook the relays up to, so he wired them straight to ground. That didn't stop me from crapping bricks for the next few hours as the entire company showed up at the lab doors to see what the horrible smell was coming from.

    --
    I tried every decent and legal way I could think of to resolve the issue w/the business before I rented the chicken suit
  20. Re:A solution to almost all liquid problems by CountBrass · · Score: 5, Funny

    I was going to moderate this but I couldn't find "-1, self-righteous" in the list.

    --
    Bad analogies are like waxing a monkey with a rainbow.
  21. Re:Well umm by LastAndroid · · Score: 5, Funny

    A friend of mine did something similar in VB.

    He was in his VB class making a program and at the end it would print it's contents. He decided it would be cool to have it ask how many copies you wanted. So he coded it.
    It turns out he forgot to define the variable he used, so instead of printing 1 copy, it got stuck in a loop of printing.
    As mentioned above this was during a class, which had a laser printer that printed at least 5 sheets a second.

  22. Flaming Death by SharpFang · · Score: 5, Funny

    Well, SIMM memory math is strange.
    I had 2 4M SIMMs (same), 2 8M SIMMs (different) and 1 16M SIMM. I was placing them in random order in a PC, trying to achieve maximum RAM capacity. Conclusions? 4M+4M=1M, 8M+4M+4M=12M, 8M+8M=8M, 8M+16M=20M, 16M+4M+4M=a violent burst of flame from the motherboard.

    --
    45 5F E1 04 22 CA 29 C4 93 3F 95 05 2B 79 2A B2
  23. I can't believe he said this by ctwxman · · Score: 5, Funny

    When a co-worker spilled my large cup of coffee into my own Panasonic CF-35 Toughbook laptop, he actually said, "think of it as installing Java." I was not amused. The laptop survived! Of course, I spent much of the following weekend washing each removable piece of the keyboard.

  24. Re:On a similar note... by EpsCylonB · · Score: 5, Funny

    when i got my first computer, (a dell pentium p60) I accidently installed a demo version of OS2 warp cause it came with a magazine and i thought it was a game, completely wiped out my dos/win 3.11 setup.

  25. A word of advice... by iamdrscience · · Score: 5, Insightful

    I'm sure at least a few of the posts on here are going to be about making a typo while running "rm". It is with that in mind that I offer this piece of timeless advice: with rm, always type your flags last. Period. There are plenty of good examples of why this is a good idea, but I think this one shows it the best:

    While typing "rm -rf /somedir/file/" you bump enter while you hit slash (they're right next to each other, remember) resulting in "rm -rf /"

    If you're in the habit of typing the flags at the end (i.e. "rm /somedir/file/ -rf") and you make the same mistake, you only end up typing "rm /" which does nothing, instead of a command that will fuck up your entire system.

  26. Knocked over an Entire Rack by Lordofohio · · Score: 5, Funny

    We had a rack in our network room that had recently been moved so that new cable could be run behind it. No one had informed me that when it was put back into position it hadn't been attached to the floor, wall, ceiling, nothing, and the entire rack was BARELY balanced and standing.

    One of the servers on the rack had a CD drive that was somewhat broken, it didn't open when you pushed the button. So, doing what I always did, I sat at the workstation a few feet away and logged in remotely. I gave the command for to eject the CD, and as it did, I watched a very full server rack teeter forward from the weight of the CD tray, and then crash to the floor.

    I was very lucky my boss had taken his Zoloft that day.

  27. Re:On a similar note... by EpsCylonB · · Score: 5, Funny

    That was a *mistake*? ;-)

    I was 11 at the time, and when my dad found out he wasn't very happy...

  28. ninja iguana by spacerodent · · Score: 5, Interesting

    Being a lazy bastard I usually jsut leave my case open for cooling and so I can swap out cards and drives without having to remove a side panel. I came home from college a few years ago and stuffed in some new drive I got for xmas and left the case open. I thought nothing of doing what I've always done but sadly I had forgotten one minor detail. A six foot, scaily detail. My iguana is about 15 years old and pretty much senile and does whatever he wants without reason or cause. Somtimes he wonders about the house and gets lost in closets. He also can climb anything known to man so the fact that it was on a desk didn't even come into it. I neglected to concider all this when I left it open. Sure enough I came home one day to find the computer utterly obliterated on the floor with the cards strewn around and mobo and cpu shattered. I have no idea how he didn't get electructed but I even found one of his claws stuck in the cpu heatsink fins. The only thing I can figure is that he thoguht a handy souce of hot air was fucking badass so he wanted to cuddle up close to it and probally got shocked by one of the cards. It sucked but live and learn.

  29. I proved Dell's advertising is legit by baptiste · · Score: 5, Interesting

    I always got a kick out of Dell's advertising about dropping stuff a few feet to test durability, etc

    We got a brand new Dell 1750 Dual Xeon 1U server which was going to be our Novell R/W Replica & Login box. I put the versa rails in the rack, about 5ft off the ground. Now anybody who works with Dell's knows the new servers have these nubs on the sides which sit into slots on the extended rails - in other words instead of sliding the server INTO the rails like most servers, you have the rails already extended and set the server down ONTO the rails, into those slots. Then you slide everything into place.

    Well, it was late - everybody was gone. But it was a 1U box - not TOO heavy (but heavy enough) So I hoisted it up and gently set the nubs into the slots - or so I thought. The right rear nub was not seated and it slipped out. The unit pivoted and our brand new 1750 went crashing into the floor below corner first!!!!! I can still picture it in slow motion as it hit the ground corner first, banged off the rack, and then slammed onto the floor.

    Man talk about getting a sinking feeling in your stomach. The right rear corner was totally crumpled. In a panick I opened the case expecting to see a motherboard is a shattered corner.

    Nope - the motherboard was fine. The power supplies had come out of their connectors - and slid right back in. The drives had come unseated due to the shock and had to be reseated. A couple hours later with pliers, ballpeen hammer, and other assorted tools, I managed to get the case corner bent back into what was close to normal. All the internals looked ok.

    I booted up the system - nada. The 'Processor mismatch' LED was lit on the board. Ugh. Figured I'd cracked a CPU or worse. Then I noticed one of the heatsinks was ever so slightly higher than the other. I unhooked the retainers and found one of the processors had come OUT of the ZIF socket and was being held on top of the socket by the retaining clip. I could only imagine what the CPU had done to itself with its pins making intermittent contact with the socket below while power was on.

    Well, after gently getting the CPU off the heatsink without cracking it (it was stuck to it by the heat paste), I reinserted the CPU, applied new paste, and reinstalled the heatsink.

    Damn thing booted right up and has run without issue ever since - going on 6 months now. All diags, hard drives included, passed with flying colors.

    Talk about dodging a bullet! Built Dell Tough!

  30. It's always worst when it's your father's. . . by Fantastic+Lad · · Score: 5, Funny

    You know, while reading the stories here, I realize that I have been quite fortunate over the-

    Oops. oooh. Oh yeah. . . That.

    Whew. I'd actually blocked that one from memory. . .

    Okay. . .

    So way back when a 486 was something special, I was young and didn't have a cool computer of my own. Upstairs where the adults lived, (I slept in the basement, would you believe?), my father had just such a gleaming-cool 486 with many bells and whistles, the most significant being a sweeeeet laser printer he'd just wrangled out of his job.

    We're talking a top-of-the-line Hewlet Packard beast. This was back in the day when HP made good printers rather than the cruddy consumer-level, guaranteed to break within three years junk boxes they sell today. It was a very nice machine and my father was pink with pride about it.

    I was working on an art-project at the time, which involved animation cell-painting onto clear sheets of acetate. I'd been running heat-resistant acetate sheets through printers and photo-copiers for a while, outputting line-work for painting on later, so I was all knowledgeable about this. Cocky, even.

    But that evening, I'd just used up my last sheet of acetate right in the middle of a job I was really enthusiastic about. I didn't want to wait a whole night just to go out and buy more, so I dug around and actually found a stray sheet. Only problem was, I didn't know where I'd gotten it from, and I didn't know if it was treated for high temperatures or not. . .

    Can you see where this is going?

    Erg. My palms are sweating at the memory. . .

    So there I was, with this rogue sheet of clear plastic poised over the paper intake of that HP thinking, "Come on! I'm sure it's heat treated. Why would it not be? And anyway, even if it isn't, how bad could things get? Probably at worst, it'd just go a bit warped, right? Just put it through and quit worrying so much, you dork!" So I put it in.

    It didn't come out again.

    In its place issued a series of interesting sounds and smells. Panic.

    My father was in the next room half an hour into watching some hour-long television drama. I remember, clearly, because I can still see in my mind the clock dial telling me that I had exactly 32 minutes to smuggle tools up from the basement, casually walk past the television and into the back room where I was silently, desperately dis-assembling a damned printer.

    Have you ever tried to take apart a thirty pound computer appliance on a hardwood floor in total silence as fast as you can? It's difficult! I mean, you drop a single screw and it will bounce off that hardwood with the loudest, "TACK!" you ever heard. And my dad is the suspicious sort who perks his ears up to any unexpected noise. --He spent most of my childhood convinced that his son was a dangerous klutz who could burn down the backyard fence playing with fireworks if given half the chance. (That was a LONG time ago!)

    Anyway, my point is that nothing, nothing adds stress to a situation in quite the same way a father does.

    While in the process of cutting free a mess of baked-on crusty plastic from the innards of that HP beast, I managed to gouge out big wads of pink rubber stuff from one of the rollers which was certainly not designed to be gouged. That's what you get for rushing. Take the job slowly; you'll only regret it later if you don't. It doesn't matter that you're going to DIE in. . . 14 minutes and counting.

    "How's it going in there, Son?"

    "Hmm. . ?" Panic. Fear. Adrenaline. Please, please, please, don't come in! Just keep your gnarly head turned toward that flickering TV screen, old man, because I have your fucking printer in pieces all over the floor and crumbs of pink rubber stuff on my guilty fingers. "Oh, just doing some work in Corel Draw, Dad."

    "Oh, Corel Draw? Do you need a hand with that? I upgraded to

  31. Cell Phone/Beer/Laptop/Vacuum Cleaner by NovaScotian · · Score: 5, Funny

    I dropped my cell phone into a glass of beer next to my laptop, and the beer glass (full) tipped onto the laptop keyboard. I immediately flipped the laptop keyboard down on a carpet, removed everything that could be removed from the back and towelled it out, then flipped it over to vacuum any remaining beer from under the keys. The vacuum sucked the keys right off into a full dust bag. Sliced open the dustbag and spread it all out. Found all but one key, never to be seen again. But.... The laptop lived, and amazingly, so did the cell phone! Now getting the keys back on was not a picnic.