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"E-Jihad" Exaggerated by Russian Media Spin

decompiler writes "Earlier reports that cyber-terrorists would be bringing down the internet today have now been denounced as "Russian media sensationalist spin", and Jose Nazario of Arbor Networks says, "There have been no precursors to a large-scale attack.""

52 of 244 comments (clear)

  1. They lied to us! by chrispyman · · Score: 5, Funny

    And I used to figure, if it's on the internet it must be true! There goes that theory...

    1. Re:They lied to us! by TedCheshireAcad · · Score: 2, Funny

      /me points out that your comment is on the internet.

    2. Re:They lied to us! by Three+Headed+Man · · Score: 5, Funny

      I would have thought we'd have a "NO CARRIER" joke as the first post for sure.

      --
      I'm probably at the karma cap. Mod up a funny troll instead, it lightens the mood :)
    3. Re:They lied to us! by Knnniggit · · Score: 2, Funny

      Isn't that like the pot calling the kettle black? Oh wait.

      --
      Brain kills internet cells.
    4. Re:They lied to us! by Jeremiah+Cornelius · · Score: 2, Interesting

      Why knock down the Internet, when you can knock down Russian airlines?

      --
      "Flyin' in just a sweet place,
      Never been known to fail..."
    5. Re:They lied to us! by timeOday · · Score: 5, Funny

      A false alarm? Have you no appreciation for the dedicated security professionals who exposed and headed off the conspiracy? The complete lack of destruction only testifies to our brilliance and validates our security plan, bow down before us!!!

  2. "E-Jihad"? by grunt107 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Sounds like a "E-Jihadn't"

    1. Re:"E-Jihad"? by druhol · · Score: 3, Funny

      Hell, all we'd have to do is link the terrorist's site on the front page. Puny little ISP wouldn't stand a chance.

      --
      WWD4D?
  3. Two things you usually don't see together by lucabrasi999 · · Score: 5, Funny

    News Media

    and

    Exaggerated

    1. Re:Two things you usually don't see together by samsmithnz · · Score: 3, Funny

      and

      FOX

    2. Re:Two things you usually don't see together by eln · · Score: 5, Funny

      There's some sort of strange comfort in knowing that the American media is not alone in this sort of behavior, at least.

      Oh, who am I kidding, journalism as a profession is doomed. They may as well just give out degrees in "reporting sensationalist nonsense" and be done with it.

    3. Re:Two things you usually don't see together by Nurseman · · Score: 2, Interesting
      Oh, who am I kidding, journalism as a profession is doomed. They may as well just give out degrees in "reporting sensationalist nonsense" and be done with it.

      You were already +5 funny, but I would have made you +5 insightful. The race to be first has replaced the race to get it right, with all phases of media. With so much pressure on rating, the quality of news has been replaced with as much sensationalisim that can fit in a 30 sec. sound bite. Thank (Deity) for Slashdot and Fark, so I can keep up with the "real" news :-)

      --
      Save a Life. Donate Blood. Please.
  4. ISC Handlers put it best by UnderAttack · · Score: 4, Funny

    From yesterday's
    Diary:
    "The ISC would like to go out on a limb and predict that the Internet will not vaporize into a cloud of nothingness this Thursday, but if it does, it's been our pleasure to help stave off its inevitable annihilation this long. "

    --
    ---- join dshield.org Distributed Intrusion Detec
  5. oh crap by TedCheshireAcad · · Score: 5, Funny

    I took work off today because I thought the internet was gonna go down. I didn't mention my absence to any of my supervisors, because I figured they would all be freaking out because the internet is down so they wouldn't notice I was missing.

    I should either:
    A) Go to work.
    B) Bring in some pruning shears and re-create the effect of the internet being down on a much more local scale by severing the fiber line.

    Where are those shears at?

  6. Ahem... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Interesting
    Jose Nazario of Arbor Networks says, "There have been no precursors to a large-scale attack."

    Except maybe for a couple of russian jetliners going down simultaneously out of the same airport.

    1. Re:Ahem... by druhol · · Score: 3, Insightful

      Right. Because that has such a massive effect on internet security.

      --
      WWD4D?
  7. Obligatory... by CaptainPuff · · Score: 5, Funny

    In Mother Russia, the Internet attacks you....
    wait a minute... my box gets port probed all day and I'm not even in Russia. grrrrrrrr

    1. Re:Obligatory... by Stevyn · · Score: 5, Funny
      my box gets port probed all day

      It's nice to see woman visit this site, but please keep those details to a minimum.

  8. E-Terror Level by johnkoer · · Score: 5, Funny

    The E-Terror level has subsequently been lowered to #FFFF00

  9. they already struck by theMerovingian · · Score: 3, Funny
    --
    "If you think you have things under control, you're not going fast enough." --Mario Andretti
  10. E-slam? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Is e-jihad a characteristic of the E-slam faith?

  11. Ha! by east+coast · · Score: 4, Funny

    I knew it was just a big lie... There was no way those cowards were going to sd #4f d# $ i%5@

    NO CARRIER

    --
    Dedicated Cthulhu Cultist since 4523 BC.
  12. I know why by StevenHenderson · · Score: 5, Funny

    They were going to launch the attack, but the amazing security of XP SP2 has made potential victims impenetrable fortresses!

    1. Re:I know why by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      Actually SP2 was the threat they were referring to

  13. Bright side by metlin · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Well, look at the bright side. The fact that a lot of the news sources had denounced this as bullshit for the most part, and even made fun of it - is something positive.

    A while ago, something like this would have been treated a whole lot more seriously - the fact that people (especially some of the media) are realizing not all of the stuff that comes on the net needs to make sense is a slight silver lining :)

  14. Damn you Kaspersky lab by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    I just spent the last 4 hours hermetically sealing my linux box with duct tabe and plastic wrap.

  15. Oh Man by quaketripp · · Score: 5, Funny

    I bet Al Gore is releived to hear is was a hoax, his baby was in jeopardy.

  16. Wait just a minute! by cephyn · · Score: 3, Funny

    You mean to tell me that the thing that, according ot the media, "may or may not happen" didn't actually happen?

    So in that case, the media was right. Why are we upset with them?

    I think I may or may not get back to work now. Hey, at least I'm not lying.

    --
    Moo.
  17. Yeah actually... by tekiegreg · · Score: 2, Funny

    I just realized it was a normal day...despite the threat of a cyber-attack today.

    Move along people nothing to see here...

    Tomorrow Tom Ridge will probably announce that the United States could be under attack soon by a bunch off terrorists arriving in flying pigs...*sigh*

    --
    ...in bed
    1. Re:Yeah actually... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

      Newsflash:

      The Department of Homeland Security has monitored increasing activity along with a decrease in temperature in Hell. Unable to reveal their sources, the current administration simply said "Let's just say we have credible sources in Hell that report these activities to us from time to time." As impending armageddon nears, they have added a new terror alert level, "GRAPE" which we will now observe until the end of time.

      Asked to explain "GRAPE" level, a DHS representative said the best plan of action at such a high terror alert level would be to duct-tape one's children onto their doorposts, plastic wrap all the ventilation systems, and scream "We're all gonna die! We're all gonna die...unless we vote GW in November."

      Um, that advise given to us by a non-profit organization "Doomsday Predicters for Truth" not affiliated with the present administration. At all. No, seriously.

  18. What?!? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Insightful

    Next thing you know, we're going to find out Iraq didn't have any WMDs. It's almost as if somebody actually BENEFITS from creating unsubstantiated media scares. Anyway, I gotta get back to duct taping my windows.

  19. e-jihad.com by acceleriter · · Score: 5, Funny

    The data in Register.com's WHOIS database is provided to you by
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    Register.com reserves the right to modify these terms at any time.
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    Organization:
    mubahela.net
    Shabbir Hassanally
    183 Vaughan Road
    West Harrow, Middlesex HA14EQ
    GB
    Phone: +44 7764 947 816
    Fax..: +44 208 933 0929
    Email: shabbirh@mubahela.net

    Registrar Name....: Register.com
    Registrar Whois...: whois.register.com
    Registrar Homepage: http://www.register.com

    Domain Name: E-JIHAD.COM

    Created on..............: Wed, Apr 17, 2002
    Expires on..............: Sun, Apr 17, 2005
    Record last updated on..: Tue, Jun 17, 2003

    Administrative Contact:
    mubahela.net
    Shabbir Hassanally
    183 Vaughan Road
    West Harrow, Middlesex HA14EQ
    GB
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    Email: shabbirh@mubahela.net

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    NS.MUBAHELA.NET 209.51.129.80
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    --

    CEE5210S The signal SIGHUP was received.

  20. Anyone remember Eric Metcalf ? by MerlynEmrys67 · · Score: 2, Insightful
    I still have a Tee-shirt that says the internet will end in 10^h^h 9 Days - Repent

    People have been predicting the end of the internet as we know it for 20 years now (remember the cutover date 20 1/2 years ago ?) and somehow it still hasn't happened.

    Somehow I don't think it ever will

    --
    I have mod points and I am not afraid to use them
  21. Does anyone even know what terrorism is about? by misleb · · Score: 2, Insightful

    It is about TERROR! It is about emotional manipulation. I'm sorry, but no matter how financially devastating a loss of internet might be, it really doesn't compare to the emotional effect of watching two towers in New York getting hit by jumbo jets and falling to the ground. Not to mention the symbolism behind the world trade center. This whole idea of "cyber-terrorism" is a big joke perpetuated by the ignorant. I'm not saying that nobody will evertry to DDoS the Internet, but I don't really think it would have much to do with a "Jihad" or whatever. And it would be a mistake to lump it in with terrorism. I'm sure terrorists will stick to much more visible and non-virtual acts to get their point across.

    -matthew

    --
    "THERE IS NO JUSTICE, THERE IS ONLY ME." -Death
    1. Re:Does anyone even know what terrorism is about? by swordgeek · · Score: 2, Insightful

      'This whole idea of "cyber-terrorism" is a big joke perpetuated by the ignorant.'

      I disagree with this. On the whole, the idea of cyber-terrorism is a carefully laid plan perpetuated by those who stand to gain from having a paranoid populace. Count how many times the US uses "terr'rists" to justify overreaching legislation.

      --

      "People who do stupid things with hazardous materials often die." -- Jim Davidson on alt.folklore.urban
    2. Re:Does anyone even know what terrorism is about? by PatientZero · · Score: 2, Insightful
      a morning show guy here in LA put it very succinctly, stating that while we americans are all bent out of shape about prison abuse in iraq and who did what 35 years ago in vietnam, qaida has probably got guys with camcorders and digicams snapping recon shots and timing elevators in buildings.

      I know Matthew replied to this already, but I'd like to expand on it. As has been said before, "Those who ignore the past are condemned to repeat it."

      Al Qaeda is doing what they do precisely because U.S. administrations have instituted horrible foreign policy (some call it terrorism) at the expense of many, many people the world over. Why? The main goal continues to be ensuring U.S. corporations have access to markets and resources.

      If we continue to ignore what has been done or brush it off as less important than worrying about what terrorists might be doing right now, we'll never stop the activities that are sewing the seeds for terrorism in the first place. We're trying to treat the symptom rather than the sickness.

      I understand that it can be hard to learn about and accept the horrors past and current administrations have wrought. But if we don't, we'll never have peace and freedom from fear. But as your mother probably said when you were sick as a child, "I know it's bitter, but you'll feel better after you drink it."

      So take your medicine, citizen! :)

      --
      Freedom to fear. Freedom from thought. Freedom to kill.
      I guess the War on Terror really is about freedom!
  22. Re:503 Error? by Chuck+Bucket · · Score: 2, Funny

    or the terrorists will post some inane article about some freak who got Linux running on his toaster, then mirror the link using tinyurl to slashdot the entire internet! we'll have to all go out for a walk in the sunshine! damn you terrorists!

    (wish I could be in NYC this weekend...)

    CBVSD(F&*

  23. Re:Terrorism anyway by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    They were trying to fly the planes INTO the internet.

  24. Re:what would of happened? by StevenHenderson · · Score: 2, Funny

    any thoughts what we would do

    rent pr0n videos and buy cds...[shudder]

  25. Re:Didn't the community predict this? by WormholeFiend · · Score: 2, Funny

    no we predicted there would be a story dupe posted today.

    well, it did kinda happen, in a follow-up sorta way.

  26. Re:Just as suspected ... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    1. Make claims of wide scale internet attack
    2. ???
    3. Prophet!

    That's not a typo

  27. Well, doh. by argent · · Score: 4, Insightful

    We knew it was a hoax yesterday.

    Hot news! Obvious hoax TURNS OUT TO BE HOAX!

    *sigh*

  28. Re:A bit of history to put things in perspective.. by jafiwam · · Score: 2, Informative

    It couldnt have been DNS, TTLs would ensure that some functionality would remain for a while... they must have been talking about being able to disable big routers all over or something similar.

    Someone already took out 11 of the 13 Root servers a while back, Joe User didn't even notice.

  29. But Tomorrow... by Vague+but+True · · Score: 2, Insightful
    Tomorrow, we are not expecting anything unusual to happen.

    We now return you to your regularly scheduled spam.

    --

    I'm not a doctor, but I play one in bed.

  30. Re:US media vs other countries by Dr.+Evil · · Score: 4, Insightful

    Independent of government interests, but not independent of corporate interests.

    The U.S. public broadcasters seem to have a similar flavour and freedom as the BBC.

    While Fox, CNN MSNBC et. al. exist entirely for profit and they're not judged on the quality of their news, but the palatability of thier content to their advertisers. The correlation between news and the public is a secondary effect of what the networks feel the advertisers feel the public wants to see... curbed by the advertisers' tendency to not want the public to see things which make the public adverse to particular forms of spending.

    There are notable exceptions to the rule, but there are a lot of big stories which go ignored on "slow news days"

  31. Something hiccuped? by Coopa · · Score: 2, Insightful

    http://www.internettrafficreport.com/main.htm Shows a little hiccup, or something? What's that blip?

  32. Re:try 99% of every country. by gantzm · · Score: 3, Funny

    ...and Cargo Cult islanders.

    Oh, that's just great. Now I've got this image of isolated islanders wearing grass lab coats building a nuke out of bamboo and coconut milk.

    Meanwhile an islander in a grass business suit is running about complaining infiltration from the "acka-ack-nunucket" island.

    Thankfully I think I see Feynman swimming to shore, maybe he can save me!

    --


    Excessive forking causes un-wanted children.
  33. The correct spelling is "Faux". by Lethyos · · Score: 3, Funny

    Get it right, will ya!

    --
    Why bother.
  34. I've gone e-JIHAD before! by mustangdavis · · Score: 2, Funny



    I've gone Jihad electronicaly before ... just click the "Jihad" button at the priest's temple when you've reached the Iron Age ... then your peasants have +10 attack, and can melt down enemy towers like they're butter!!!

    This was, by far, one of the cheesiest (legitimate) tactics I ever used in that game! I've won a game with nothing more than Jihad peasants!!! I'd build dozens of town centers (terrorist training facilities), and bumb rush the enemy town, burning down all of their buildings with nothing more than peasants!!!

    JIHAD!!!!

    *Please ignore this if you haven't played Age of Empires*

  35. If anything brings the Internet down... by anubi · · Score: 2, Insightful
    It won't be hackers.

    Anything hackers can do can be sensed, and the appropriate code put in place to stop the leak.

    I go to bed peacefully knowing the internet runs on a series of protocols that is just about as secure as knowing the English language will still exist tomorrow. Someone may misuse it, but that does not render the whole shebang moot.

    As long as the Internet is the property of the commons, no one can do much harm to it.

    We have a really nice series of plumbing in place now to route information, just as we have plumbing in place to route water and power. Enough people understand how it works that any malfunction can be properly addressed.

    If anything brings down the internet, it will be politicians, passing law to grant exclusive controls to certain corporations, which can then fund volleys of lawyers to use the court systems to destroy anything in their path.

    Yes, you can see planes crashing into towers, and you see rubble where a magnificient building once stood.. and there is lots of evidence scattered all over of the disaster that took place there, but there is little to see after a swarm of lawyers devastate a small business, but the damage is just as real.

    If we don't hold our elected officials to the welfare of this country soon, it appears ownership/litigation will become the only viable way of "earning" an income.

    --
    "Prove all things; hold fast that which is good." [KJV: I Thessalonians 5:21]

  36. It may not be true, but... by CritterNYC · · Score: 2, Interesting

    as I type, a big-ass piece of AT&T's backbone is having major problems.

  37. Where was the Kaboom? by Capt.+Canuck · · Score: 2, Funny

    There was suppose to be an earth shattering Kaboom!