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Getting Your Boss To Buy Lava Lamps

Posted by ryuzaki0 on from the boogie-down dept.

jarich writes "Mike Clark's blog provides directions and code on how to wire up lava lamps to your build system. When a compile or test fails, the red lava lamp gets switched on... The delay in the lamp heating up gives you a few minutes to fix things before it becomes obvious to co-workers that you broke the build. His example uses CruiseControl but you could easily modify it. Very cool stuff and inexpensive to setup."

47 of 249 comments (clear)

  1. Yeah Sure... by romper · · Score: 5, Funny

    They'll look great next to the bean-bag chairs and the espresso bar.

    I'll ask my boss when he gets back from playing golf with the VC group.

    --
    Right is wrong when left is right.
    1. Re:Yeah Sure... by Maestro4k · · Score: 5, Funny
      • They'll look great next to the bean-bag chairs and the espresso bar.
      For full effect you should put a disco ball on the ceiling of the conference room and have polyester fridays.
    2. Re:Yeah Sure... by prell · · Score: 3, Funny

      What the practice of software development really needs is some way to assign blame to people and keep them under pressure to get things right. Right?

      Hooking a computer up to a lava lamp is neat (however not as cool as the Ambient Orb), but treating programmers like Pavlovian dogs is ridiculous.

    3. Re:Yeah Sure... by SatanicPuppy · · Score: 4, Funny

      In professional radio, they always have lights hooked up to the phone line, because, obviously, it would sound like shit to have the phone suddenly ringing when you're on the air.

      My boss had a thing with people not answering the phone, so the phone light moved from being a modified desk lamp, to being a strobe light, to being two strobe lights, to being two strobe lights and a red rotating police light.

      All this being said, and since I know for a fact its a pretty easy electrical hack, why stop with a silly lava lamp? If my old General Manager was in IT these days, a failed build would result in a temporarily blind and deaf dev team, and an office space that would occasionally have the lighting and decible range of a metal concert.

      --
      ad logicam Claiming a proposition is false because it was presented as the conclusion of a fallacious argument.
  2. Apple Cube solution by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Place any lamp on top of one of those hyper-hot undervented Apple G3 Cubes, and in no-time it melts into lava.

    1. Re:Apple Cube solution by ggvaidya · · Score: 4, Funny
      However, IIRC a lava lamp works with just a 40W bulb. With some of the latest CPUs throwing off >200W of heat, you might need a whole row of lava lamps on top of the machine. Maybe the entire side of the case could be filled with gloop and made into a wall of lava.

      Wow ... the iLamp ;).

    2. Re:Apple Cube solution by shepmaster · · Score: 2, Funny

      Do you mean to say: "A beowulf cluster of lava lamps"? :)

      I, for one, hail our new lava-lamp overlords.

  3. /.'ed by KJE · · Score: 5, Funny

    I hope they have one hooked up to their webserver...

    1. Re:/.'ed by AnswerIs42 · · Score: 4, Funny
      Lava Lamp color codes:

      Off = No Bugs
      Yellow Lamp = Warnings
      Red Lamp = Broken Code
      Exploding Lamp = Got linked off of /.

  4. Workaround... by Blue-Footed+Boobie · · Score: 3, Funny

    10 Remove Bulb 20 Work at my leisure... 30 Make as many errors as I want... 40 GOTO 20

    --
    DAMN YOU OCTODOG! DAMN YOU TO HELL!
    1. Re:Workaround... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      or
      10 cut cord
      20 attach hot wire to the left testical of the hot head who put these in the office.
      30 write bad code
      40 compile
      50 GOTO a new job

  5. A Better Mod? by grunt107 · · Score: 1, Funny

    Wire each builder's seat with a voltage generator. Keep the timer aspect (x minutes/hrs to fix), but add voltage increasers for number of errors detected.
    Really bad coders would get lauched like a rail gun 'bullet'.

    1. Re:A Better Mod? by antifoidulus · · Score: 5, Funny

      I can just see the police reports now:
      Cause of death: missing }

      --
      Monstar L
  6. Instead of Lava Lamps... by jmcmunn · · Score: 4, Funny


    I think we should have an air raid siren hooked up to it. Not only would it alert you to a problem, it would also scare the crap out of everyone and wake them up for a nice productive afternoon.

    It's either that or electrodes into your chair.

    1. Re:Instead of Lava Lamps... by glpierce · · Score: 5, Funny

      I like the idea of the classic movie defcon alert - main lights go down, red flashing lights and siren come on, loop of calm female voice stating "The build is down" comes on over loudspeakers.

      --
      G
    2. Re:Instead of Lava Lamps... by lizzardo · · Score: 3, Funny

      I'd go for Strong Bad singing "The System is Down" instead, but the red flashing lights would be cool.

  7. Very Cool, Cat by ackthpt · · Score: 2, Funny

    To be smooth, baby, shouldn't you change 'kill' to 'chill', too?

    --

    A feeling of having made the same mistake before: Deja Foobar
  8. Room 101 by mark0 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Most environments in which I coded would prefer a Room 101 model. A cage is placed on your head. When the build is broken, rats are released into the cage. The time it takes the rats to run down the tunnel and into the cage to eat your face gives you time to fix your mistake.... The lava lamp version sounds double-plus good.

    1. Re:Room 101 by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      So, hot lava-lamps will be placed under the rat's feetsies?

    2. Re:Room 101 by autophile · · Score: 4, Funny
      When the build is broken, rats are released into the cage. The time it takes the rats to run down the tunnel and into the cage to eat your face gives you time to fix your mistake....

      Better make sure you specify wild rats. If they were fancy rats, they'd probably just lick your nose or snuffle in your ear or something. Then you might want to break the build on purpose just for giggles.

      --Rob

      --
      Towards the Singularity.
    3. Re:Room 101 by SmittyTheBold · · Score: 3, Funny

      Exactly. I sit here thinking, "Oh, it's time to let the ratties out to play! Let's break the build!"

      --
      ± 29 dB
  9. Conficting reports by happyfrogcow · · Score: 3, Funny

    So you're saying the lava lamp switching on means it's time to fix things, as apposed to taking a kind smoke break?

    conflicting reports are rising from the break room.

  10. better idea by StevenHenderson · · Score: 4, Funny

    voice of Gilbert Godfrey screaming out "I suck at programming! Fire me!" over and over. That would make you debug before you compile...

  11. Coffee maker by GraWil · · Score: 4, Funny

    What about the hack that starts the coffee maker everytime a build fails... it is usually a *long* night when that happens around here.

  12. Slashdot effect.... by Kenja · · Score: 2, Funny

    Guess the lava lamps just blew up.

    --

    "Have you ever thought about just turning off the TV, sitting down with your kids, and hitting them?"
  13. firewall mod? by drmancini · · Score: 3, Funny

    Wow ... think of a firewall mod with a lava lamp for each open port ... my god!! the lava is boiling ... hackers coming in!!!

    --

    Never underestimate the power of idiots in large groups
  14. Re:cool, but... by romper · · Score: 3, Funny

    Dude... it's about getting your boss to buy useless crap for your office, not about productivity.

    It'll go nicely with my nerf guns, huge pile of empty soda cans and my blacklight-lit office!

    Er, wait, I don't live in the college dorms anymore. Nevermind.

    --
    Right is wrong when left is right.
  15. Seems counterproductive by LeahofRivendell · · Score: 5, Funny

    I would definitely write bad code on purpose with this set up just to watch the lava.

    --
    I are winner
  16. Low Tech Works by kcdoodle · · Score: 5, Funny

    We had the problem of concurrent users locking up a tape drive.
    We tried a white board, we tried a sign in/out sheet, it got so bad that we held a meeting and the manager decided we would use the ownership of a certain file to show who was allowed to control the tape drive.
    The same manager broke his own rule immediately after the meeting.
    My solution was the one that worked.
    We used a really cheesy Mardi Gras necklace. Who ever had the necklace in their possession was allowed to access the tape drive. We never had a problem after that.
    If you left the necklace on your desk it was perfectly okay for someone else to steal it. If you wore the cheesy thing around your neck, everyone knew you were using the tape drive.

    Sometime low tech is easier, more reliable and best of all, funnier.

    I live the greatest adventure anyone could wish for. - Tosk the Hunted

    --

    - I live the greatest adventure anyone could possibly desire. - Tosk the Hunted
    1. Re:Low Tech Works by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      Did coworkers flash each other when they needed a new volume mounted?

    2. Re:Low Tech Works by QuijiboIsAWord · · Score: 1, Funny

      And best of all, was the people shouting "Hey Steve, show us your T*TS!"

      --
      -Hmm...I got a G+ invite, better remember to remove the request from my sig...-
  17. More practical by spidergoat2 · · Score: 2, Funny

    Would be a beer cooler. If your code/project/whatever works, beer gets cold. If it fails, beer gets warm. That's real incentive. Ur, except in England.

  18. Virtual lava-lamps. by mikael · · Score: 3, Funny

    We've got a similar system, but it uses the lava-lamp screen saver.

    If the keyboard or other input device isn't used within five minutes, a lava-lamp appears on screen.
    That way, we can tell if someone hasn't been working within the past five minutes.

    Personally, I prefer the futuristic virtual Lava Lamp office, where you're cubicle rises and falls according to how productive you have been.

    --
    Vintage computer adverts: http://www.vintageadbrowser.com/computers-and-software-ads
  19. He should have made one for webservers by digitalgimpus · · Score: 3, Funny

    He should have made one for webservers when the apache process hangs.

    His datacenter would be groovy right now.

  20. Re:cool, but... by nizo · · Score: 3, Funny

    Once the lavalamp works, you should be able to upgrade to shock collars for all the developers pretty easily. Talk about incentive to not screw up. After this upgrade plastic covers for everyone's chair might not be a bad idea either.

    --
    I Am My Own Worst Enemy
  21. Lava lamps are supposed to be soothing man. by edunbar93 · · Score: 4, Funny

    Leave it to corporate America to find a way to make Lava Lamps something to stress out about.

    --
    "No problem. I have the capacity to do infinite work so long as you don't mind that my quality approaches zero."-Dilbert
  22. Break time by ro_coyote · · Score: 2, Funny

    Don't forget the sticks of pot and discount snack machine, so our fellow techies can mellow out after a stressful rush of fixing things in a hurry. (For medical reasons, I assure you.... honest!!)

  23. Re:cool, but... by Smitty825 · · Score: 2, Funny

    I can see how it could make you more productive...you could have it lite up green whenever /. is not throwing up 503 errors :-)

    --

    Doh!
  24. But will it light the bong for me? by Wile_E_Peyote · · Score: 4, Funny

    This would be more useful, if it lit up a bowl at 4:20 if the green lamp was going.

    Hmmm... All I need is an automated valve and a mini blowtorch...

    W.E.P.
  25. Re:0mg j00 m4d3 t3h M1cr0$0ft j0k3!!! by StalinsNotDead · · Score: 1, Funny

    Knock, Knock.

    Who's There?

    Microsoft.

    Microsoft who?

    Microsoft sucks.

    --
    Thanks to the internet, we can now all die alone together! -SomeWoman
  26. Re:nice, but by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Help! lp0 on fire!

  27. It's better the other way ;) by mystran · · Score: 2, Funny

    Indeed. If you do that, everybody starts breaking builds just to turn the damn lamp on. Better make it so that when a build breaks, the lamp get's turned OFF so people get angry from not being able to watch it. That way nobody dares to break the build, and somebody does, other people might even come to help fix it, so they can continue their trip^H^H^H^Hwork with proper lighting..

    --
    Software should be free as in speech, but if we also get some free beer, all the better.
  28. Improved terror threat level by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Someone call Tom Ridge quick and tell him to get 5 colored lava lamps: red, orange, yellow, blue and green (may be able to hold off on the green for a while). Hook it up and let it rip

    I think that the public might be more receptive to a terror threat level from a lava lamp- be on the alert for suspicious activities but, hey man, don't get stressed out about it....

  29. Well... you can always... by unikron · · Score: 2, Funny

    Get your boss to buy Java Lamps :D

  30. Re:Disco? by damien_kane · · Score: 2, Funny

    [insert obligatory Disco Stu reference here]

    Why? Didn't you get the memo? Disco Stu doesn't advertise...

  31. Reminds me of Dilbert's "lost token" by Chemisor · · Score: 3, Funny

    > Who ever had the necklace in their possession was
    > allowed to access the tape drive.

    Reminds me of an old Dilbert cartoon:

    Dilbert: (holding a cable) we have a token ring network.
    Boss: So why is it not working?
    Dilbert: the token fell out. It must be somewhere in this room...
    Boss: (gets on his knees to search)

  32. Only if we do it Enterprise style! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    The project manager will sit in a replica USS Enterprise Captain's Chair (Kirk style).

    The build officer will sit behind him at the "Build Station" inspecting CVS commits through a binocular microscope feed.

    Ensign, set course for compliance and engage at gcc factor -O3!

    And we must not forget this last one. Attractive young females wearing short skirts will deliver messages and coffee to the bridge, and generally stand around looking hot.

    Note to self: corporate work sucks donkey balls.