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Home Defense, Geek Style?
Yo Maing writes "So my mom got lives alone, and got her car broken into last night. We have a motion sensor light in the driveway, and the car has an alarm but apparently both of these deterrents were ineffective. Crime has been rising around her neighborhood, and only action the police can take is to file a report. So I ask you, Geeks of Slashdot, what tricks do you guys have to defend yours and your loved ones homes against crimes like this? Not looking for anything that would get someone injured, but more in the area of detection and repulsion. Anyone have a holographic Yeti generator to scare away intruders? :)"
Buy a gun.
First I would suggest watching Home Alone 1. That kid is pretty damn clever and easily fended off joe pesci and that ugly guy. Next I would buy an outdoor webcam with some motion detection software.
Summary of all the "Home Alone" movies in 3... 2... 1...
I shall go and tell the indestructible man that someone plans to murder him.
I wait on the roof dressed in all black with my ninja sword.
That's worked pretty well for a few years.
How could I say to men: "Speak louder, shout! For I am deaf!"? -Ludwig van Beethoven
I live on an air force base. No problems. :)
Guns. Lots of guns.
Geek it up some by controlling the shotgun trap with an old pentium running BSD.
Curb CO2 emissions: Kill yourself today!
drive a yugo
the extra "got" in his first sentence. Now everybody move along now.
I'm a minister!
How bout a full sized cardboard cut-out of goatse in the front hallway? I'd run....
http://request-header.info
netfilter.
Well, if you don't mind repelling everyone instead of the ill-willed, you might try buying a computer off this guy. I'm sure the dead pig odor would keep thieves out of you're mom's car -- it's a deterrent whose effectiveness was recently proven on Mythbusters...
...you mean you don't live at home?
... 10 guage loaded with rock salt seems to do the trick for me.
filter: +3. Hey, look! all the trolls went away!
What better place to ask about repulsion than a website where sweaty geeks hang out?
Get your own free personal location tracker
Seriously, first the story about a mushroom shaped cloud over North Korea and soon there was an article about bomb shelters and now this! Is there going to be a Homeland Security topic created soon? I'd suggest a chicken since the sky is falling.
... but in the USA the answer is simply guns, surely?
For a slashdot specific answer:
Rig up lots of webcams, connect them to a Linux box with some open source motion detection software, and set off the mines in the front lawn and the machine guns when anything is detected.
So maybe you'll kill a few "innocent" people by accident. No problem, the American courts will let you off no trouble, and besides nobody "innocent" would be out walking anyway, would they.
Looks like that kid from Home Alone is liable quite heavil. Is there a rule against a gigantic paint shelf trap?
I have a major crime problem can anyone give me some sugestions on cameras pref night vision if possable
Oh, so -that's- what it is. Thanks, until now I've been too afraid to bust in there and take his DVD player.
I line my house with slashdot trolls and a few penguins! Keeps even the most dangerous perps at bay!
Fuzdout
..My sig ran away. Has anyone seen my sig?
Not looking for anything that would get someone injured, but more in the area of detection and repulsion.
Of course you don't want them injured; else they could sue. That's why you have to aim for the head; they can't hire a lawyer if they're dead. Later, use a hacksaw to remove the head and mount it on a poll in your front yard. You're be sure to repulse a few people with that. Oh, and buy lots of Fabreeze, as it won't be smelling all that pretty.The video mentioned off of the linked article shows the lego robot as far more active than the dog in the video anyway.
Car alarms are based on proximity? I thought they were just on a timer, set to go off at 3am.
Or a Cheetah if you're a cat person.
KFG
Frink: Well as you can see when the burgler trips the alarm, the house raises from its foundation and runs down the street around the corner to safety .... won't burn quite so fast.. mohoy!
*house model crashes, goes in flames with the human figurines as well*
Frink: Hah.. well the real humans won't
How about we mix it up a little:
What about:
A vicious camera(robots these days)
A visible fake dye capsue
And my personal favorite: An exploding dog.
And of course that a sign that says, "Exploding dog tracking system installed"
I wouldn't want to fuck with that house.
Monstar L
Isn't your mom lucky? She can participate in an opportunity she didn't have just a few days ago. Now she can buy a AK-47 (the weapon of choice for home-defense professionals in some of the worst places in the world, like Iraq and Afghanistan) with as many combat-style accessories as she wants. Just tell her to buy a Bushmaster and put a sign on the lawn saying "Tresspassers beware - I can shoot you in the ass 80 times in a minute and then bayonet your corpse from here to Denver"
I'm not kidding. Watch geese make a whole lot of noise when they spot an intruder, and they're aggressive, too. They also have the effect of confusing the hell out of some would-be criminals.
By reading this you acknowledge that you have read it.
Would an AIBO work? Dog AND geeky. I dont' know if they bark though.
Analogies don't equal equalities, they are merely somewhat analogous.
The low tension wires to the started motor are an excellent place to break the circuit. When they try stealing the car, it seems like it has a dead battery. Some bozos in Manchester tried to steal my girlfriend's car which I had installed such a switch into. A quick walk around the block and we found the car perfectly safe in the middle of the road - they had tried push-starting it.
flossie
Write now. Defend liberty
Dogs are for weenies. What you really want is a guard baboon. Seriously, who's going to mess with this?
When you're home is invaded, I recommend coming down the stairs with a hockey mask on, wielding a small gas-powered chain saw.
NOTE: The baboon will not wear diapers.
Victimized. There's no victims on Earth man. If you live here, you're fucking guilty. You deserve everything you get. Read some Schopenhauer.
but what do i know, i'm just a model.
I was watching from my window when I saw a guy breaking into my shed. I called the police.
"I'm sorry, sir, but we don't have any cars available to check it out."
I couldn't believe it. I was calling to tell them that I was witnessing a crime in progress, and they couldn't be bothered to come arrest the guy.
I waited for one minute and called again.
"Hi, I called to tell you that someone was breaking into my shed. Don't worry, I shot him."
Two minutes later, four police cars and an ambulance pulled up to my house, catching the guy red-handed. The lieutenant in charge was pretty upset.
"I thought you said you shot him!"
"I thought you said there weren't any cars available!"
There's not really anything you can do, except park in the garage. There's one thing the cops tell you to do - keep your car showroom clean. That means nothing inside. Someone will smash your window to get an empty pop can. They'll steal quarters from the tool booth bin, or anything else.
If you're tired of paying for repairs, keep it clean and keep it unlocked. They can't break in if it's already open.
---
ECHELON is a government program to find words like bomb, jihad, plutonium, assassinate, and anarchy.
Too agressive. The last one we elected, invaded Iraq on some rather flimsy evidence of WMDs.
you forgot to douse the pins with antifreeze.
Snowden and Manning are heroes.
Now for the really geeky solution...
1) Motion sensor switches on PC and video cam.
2) PC checks for changes to video image, and if changes exceed predetermined threshold, plays sound of bolt action hunting rifle being loaded.
3) PC switches on laser and uses servo to guide red dot onto largest area of change in video image....
4) PC waits a few seconds and if changes persist, plays loud sound of heavy caliber rifle firing and triggers flashgun, followed by muttering about damn laser sight...
5) Police follow trail of brown (and rather smelly)footprints to determine where perp came from.
I mean, who's going to mess with your pet cougar, or puma?
What is the robbing of a bank, compared to the founding of a bank? -- Bertolt Brecht
Oh, my God! Where are those mod points when you need them?
On the other hand, I wouldn't know if I should mod you Funny or Insightful...
You calling me stupid? I'll bust a cap in yo ass!
"Have you ever thought about just turning off the TV, sitting down with your kids, and hitting them?"
Please. That's kids stuff!
:-)
What you really need for an effective deterrent is a 110,000 volt, 30 barrel taser gattling gun. More details here. Choice quote:
"Most spectators experience some degree of sinus discomfort after several firings, due to the high brissance of the plasma explosion."
Hah. I'll bet they do.
Whoever designed level 61 in Frozen Bubble is a sadistic bastard.
No matter where you live, it helps if (a) the recipient of your shotgun blast is on your property when shot, and (b) the shot is to the front of said recipient (and not in his back as he tries to flee), thus bolstering a claim of self-defense.
So, order the jackass to turn around before you shoot him. Then drag his bloody carcass back onto your lawn.
IANYL (I Am Not Your Lawyer)
"Son, I knew you'd been borrowing my car to go 'make out' with young ladies, and to tell the truth I was OK with that. But I really think you need to pick less kinky date activities. My car is not a restroom."
There are lots and lots of nice little letterses... it *must* be Informative!
I have discovered a truly remarkable sig which this 120 chars is too small to contain.
http://www.stickdeath.com/2004auto.html
"Guns don't kill you - rappers do."
There was a post above asking why gun deaths in Canada are so much lower than that of the US, and now finally I understand why - rampant garden gnome theft in Texas.
" When you're sleeping, those aren't particularly effective. ;-)"
I had a crazy idea while listening to a tutor talk about what he is researching on.
He was talking about 'computer vision'. So basically a computer can look at something using 2 cameras and gauge its distance/etc relative to itself.
So I was thinking.. "Hey, how about if I mount that array onto a gun, and then mount the whole shebang onto a turret?"
That's be so cool!
And better yet, I'll have a small hole in the ground and put the whole turret inside, so that it is protected and only shows up when needed.
Of course, now that it is dormant, we need to wake it up. What then? And I imagined that if we use pressure sensors embedded around the house and in the garden, the coordinating targetting computers can immediately aim the turrets in the right direction so that when it comes out, it is ready to fire.
For added effect, add a million laser pointers. And put like 6 of these on every side of your house.
And there you go, a winner geek's home defense system =)
**If you are really paranoid, you might want to mount SAM/bazooka launchers onto those turrets too! Good for stopping an oppressive govt cold! What can they do? Nuke the whole nation?
Online backup with Mozy, sounds like Ozzie, but more!
"The Failed Experiment" by Gary A. Mauser, is he related to those Mausers the famous gun manufacturers or is this just one of those weird coincidences ?
I just took the sounds of the weapons from Doom (the original) and set them up to motion and pressure sensors. Playback begins on a trip. Scars the crap outta crooks, and drunks.
Good programmers drink beer to relieve job stress.
Great programmers drink hard liquor and work best hungover.
I tend to agree,
When living in Ohio this is the tactic I would employ. I'm living in Georgia now. An associate has been complaining about a car with it's windows smashed in, that was left in his neighborhood. He called the police. They didn't do anything. I suggested that he phone them up again. This time report that someone is urinating on the vehicle in question. I figure that when the cop comes around to check for the pisser/child mollester that they'll notice the car and get the wheeles turning, so to speak.
Cheers,
--The Dude
When you're sleeping, those aren't particularly effective. ;-)
But the NRA and CRPA bumper stickers (and the "I'd rather be hunting" license plate frame) on the car in the driveway IS. B-)
In particular, the burglars that were working their way down our street a few years back skipped two houses - the retired cop two doors up (whose son had similar stickers) and ours.
Current neighborhood has a couple gangs trying to move in. They've intimidated witnesses - with both minor and major vandalism - elsewhere on our block. They have NOT done that to OUR place. B-)
Closest they came is when their spokesthug came buy and asked the wife (an NRA-certified fireams / personal-protection instructor B-) who smokes on the front porch and watches neighborhood goings-on) whether she was worried about attacks or breakins. She said, no, she'd just shoot anybody who tried to attack her. But wasn't she worried about her guns being stolen while she was gone? No, because the firesafe weighs too much to steal without special equipment.
Been here over 5 years, no problems so far. B-)
Bantam Dominique roosters crow a four-note song. Once you've heard it as "Happy BIRTHday" you can't NOT hear it that way
The turret is only responsible for rotational aiming, and a servo/pivot thing will flip the weapons towards the ENEMY. Rifle/chaingun/whatever is such that it points skywards when it is parked in the firehole.
Maybe if you make the turret pop up very fast, it can actually look even MORE COOL!
The only thing I'm pondering about is if it rains wouldn't all that gunk get into the barrels of your weapons?
Even better, why not make it a cooperative system. So suppose the ENEMY runs away, wouldn't your system lose him? Not if your computers alert your neighbours and wake theirs up too. You will see the turd run down the walkway with a trail of rockets exploding behind him, just like in Duke Nukem Forever! **Except here the ENEMY is fragged before he knows it =)
You'd obviously want to turn this thing off if your kids come home late though.. otherwise they'd innocently step onto the driveway and *boom*... the neighbourhood turns into a warzone.
Online backup with Mozy, sounds like Ozzie, but more!
In most US states if someone breaks into your home and you kill them, you can't really be held liable. By getting a garage, if someone should break into your car (assuming it's in said garage), you can safely kill them!
Now, how you get your garage home, is an exercise left for the reader.
Don't think that a small group of dedicated individuals can't change the world. It's the only thing that ever has.
...to the motion sensors??
:)
It would be effective and have serious "Aliens Special Edition" cool factor.
I recommend a LED counter for rounds that gets to zero when there are still a few thousand rounds left... so they only *think* its safe
Man, IT really has fallen in the shitter. We got the smartest people on earth talking about gangs in their neighborhoods....
I heard a story about a guy in Idaho who called the police to report that someone was outside tryig to break into his house. The police said they would send someone over. 5 minutes later noone had arrived so he called again. 5 minutes later still noone had arrived and so he called and told the police that he had shot the intruder and several cars were there almost immediately and arrested the burglar.
Better yet, you can mount some ninjas in those turrets.
THAT would be cool.
The best thing about saying something is that it can be as full of shit as you want. This is obviously something you already understand, however.
Stop it. You are injecting a note of reality into his John Wayne / Charles Bronson worldview. He is going to start crying because you're being mean.
Waltz, nymph, for quick jigs vex Bud.
Too dangerous. Some day, we will create a board with a nail so big, it will destoy us all.
And all you hippies thought it would be nuclear weapons...
No no no. A gun would work in the 80s. Now criminals have stinger missiles and humvee mounted machine guns. You'll never outgun them.
Just get a giant wobbling sculptured cock at your front step. Any criminal walking by will be reminded of Clockwork Orange, and they'll say "Cool" and walk away.
Take the gun out with the kid and explain that it is not a toy its a dangerous weapon. Then shoot his stuffed bunny into a thousand pieces. He will never want to touch the gun.
My voice is my password.
Verify me.
/sig
Phalanx Close-In Weapons System
In a world that is Free and Open, who needs Windows and Gates?
now thats a car alarm!
Gun's aren't the problem, people are the problem.
So by eliminating people, guns are actualyl helping SOLVE the problem then!
Sounds like a piece of advice taken from my grandfather...
"They can't steal anything with both hands over their ears"
'Anyone have a holographic Yeti generator to scare away intruders? :)"'
Okay, relax, it was just a joke!
Jeez, no sense of humor!
Richard Steven Hack - This sig is TOO GODDAMN SHORT TO DO ANYTHING USEFUL WITH! MORONS!
Stinking of cheap cologne, hairspray and marijuana smoke probably goes a long way towards keeping people off of you as well. Add to that your primered 1984 Iroc Camaro with non-matching wheels leaking oil in the driveway, and you have a perfect front. Nothing to steal here, keep moving. As a matter of fact, if anyone breaks in, they'll probably get robbed instead, or at the very least get a contact high.
Old school stoners are still the scariest kind.
The physical punishment should be proportion to the physical destruction caused. Seeing as IP theft is ephemeral I propose that victim should think really hard about whipping the thief. Or maybe make a plaster caste of their back and whip that. That should make it even.
under under and away...
Sig? No, thanks. I don't smoke.
<Slowly as if to a small Anonymous Coward>
Its a car, cars can be driven to an area with no neighbors.
</Slowly as if to a small Anonymous Coward>
When I was in high school: Chris and Bob used to drive home every afternoon in Chris's Camaro, and one Monday afternoon Chris asked Bob to drive while he leaned out the window of the passenger side and slammed a neighbor's mailbox with a baseball bat. The neighbor replaced his mailbox every afternoon that week only to have it destroyed again by Chris. That Saturday, Bob told me (laughing so hard we was crying) that Chris was getting his Camaro's back window fixed. The Friday mailbox had been completely filled with concrete, and the bat had bounced back and cracked his back window.
He must have been hung over or doing drugs y'r honour, it's just a car alarm (this after replacing the screamers with 80dB jobbies).
Got time? Spend some of it coding or testing
I know I can't be the only person moved to almost hysterical laughter when reading I'm generally a badass on Slashdot....
Bad management trumps ideology - Show the world you want better leadership. http://www.timefornewmanagement.com