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Experiment Cuts Off Online Junkies from Internet

Ant (an Internet junkie) writes "An article from The Register reports one begins gibbering uncontrollably because he/she can't get a fix without internet access after two weeks. That, at least, is according to an 'Internet Deprivation Study' carried out by Yahoo! and advertising outfit OMD. Participants in the human experiment were deprived of the web for 14 days, and found themselves quickly succumbing to 'withdrawal and feelings of loss, frustration and disconnectedness.' The reason for the rapid collapse of their universe is - say the researchers - because 'internet users feel confident, secure and empowered.'"

54 of 409 comments (clear)

  1. Pff.. They're talking about 14 days? by lordsilence · · Score: 5, Funny

    What about the 5min average slashdot fix?

    1. Re:Pff.. They're talking about 14 days? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

      I bet that took a lot of effor to make it look like you're not going for FP. Nice effort, ace!

    2. Re:Pff.. They're talking about 14 days? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

      Well he's got a point. 'Gibbering uncontrollably' seems fairly normal for slashdot. ;)

    3. Re:Pff.. They're talking about 14 days? by edittard · · Score: 2, Funny
      Well he's got a point. 'Gibbering uncontrollably' seems fairly normal for slashdot. ;)
      Fairly normal for slashdot editors, anyway.
      --
      At the bottom of the /. main page it says 'Yesterday's News'. Well they got that right.
    4. Re:Pff.. They're talking about 14 days? by shufler · · Score: 5, Funny

      I had some of the most restless and relaxing sleeps ever

      That is to say, the most RESTFUL. I must appologise, as I have been up all night, using the Internet.

    5. Re:Pff.. They're talking about 14 days? by torpor · · Score: 4, Funny

      What about the 'wait 20 seconds before you can use this website again' factor?

      I hate that man, that sends me into insta-fits..

      --
      ; -- the corruption of government starts with its secrets. a truly free people keep no secrets. --
    6. Re:Pff.. They're talking about 14 days? by 5m477m4n · · Score: 3, Funny

      What about the 5min average slashdot fix?

      [refresh]
      Yeah man, we just can't seem to
      [refresh]
      live without our slashdot, man
      [refresh]
      we're hooked on the stuff, man
      [refresh]
      d00d, yesterday I saw this dog
      [refresh]
      and like, he was licking his butt man
      [refresh] [refresh]
      I'm going to go get some chips, man
      [refresh] [refresh] [refresh]

      --

      ---
      Those who can, do
      Those who can't, teach
      Those who don't know how, supervise
    7. Re:Pff.. They're talking about 14 days? by jred · · Score: 2, Funny

      Where are you selling them? Got an URL? Oh, wait...

      --

      jred
      I'm not a mechanic but I play one in my garage...
  2. that's horrible by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

    I'm going to give up the internet cold-turkey, and switch to something healthy, like heroin

  3. Gibbering uncontrollably? by Ronald+Dumsfeld · · Score: 3, Funny

    Sheesh!

    They should've tried it with some of the right-wing American slashdotters. The researchers would've got a shotgun shoved up their nose and told to reconnect the Internet NOW!

    --
    Where's the Kaboom?
    There's supposed to be an Earth-shattering Kaboom.
    1. Re:Gibbering uncontrollably? by .orvp · · Score: 3, Funny

      As opposed to what? Some person who gets "enlightened" by their exposure offline, and decides to form the NLF (Net Liberation Front)?

      Suddenly, a hacker breaks into OSTG and changes the /. front page: "Free the people of their addiction, the Net must go, and it must go NOW!" Several server farms are bombed.

      The thing is, I am an American Right-Wing Slashdotter, and I found the parent funny, because I know people who would pull a shotgun to someone's face for even mentioning they should give up access for a week.

      --
      My other sig is just as lame
  4. Light by Un0r1g1nal · · Score: 4, Funny

    ooooooo whats that big see through thing
    <doctor>we call that a window
    <pt>urghhh M$ windows
    <dr>no no, this is a REAL window, look no leaks

    Bout time some of us took a walk outside I think, go walk in the countryside where we cant even get wireless for our laptops :P

    --
    If at first you DON'T succeed, Skydiving is NOT for YOU!!
    1. Re:Light by gatesh8r · · Score: 2, Funny

      EEEEEEEP Noooooooooo.... please GOD NO! I remember the LAST time I went to "the countryside" -- that big blue room with those brown pillers with... GREEN on top... and the carpet was strange!

      --
      Karma whorin' since 1999
    2. Re:Light by Dogtanian · · Score: 1, Funny

      EEEEEEEP Noooooooooo.... please GOD NO! I remember the LAST time I went to "the countryside" -- that big blue room with those brown pillers with... GREEN on top... and the carpet was strange!

      Last time in was in "the countryside" room, they hadn't even painted the ceiling blue; it was still undercoat-grey, and the sprinkler system kept coming on and soaking me (couldn't see where it was coming from, though).

      Plus; the enemy AI is abysmal. There are these creatures called "sheep" and "cows", but they're mostly unthreatening, and run some lame herding algorithm.

      Damn, you'd think that it would be easy to kill them, but it seems to be against the rules of the game to have a gun- at least in the UK release. I'm going to try to get a copy of the US version for that, but I'm not sure if Amazon.com will ship it to Scotland.

      --
      "Slashdot - News and Chat Sites Deviant". (Click "homepage" link above for details).
    3. Re:Light by xutopia · · Score: 2, Funny

      you idiot! You're supposed to replace the salt they lick with sodium. That'll make their heads blow off!

  5. I couldnt do it. by nmoog · · Score: 4, Funny

    Im just using this stupid monitor and keyboard until I can get google embedded directly in my eyeballs. I really rely on that sucker.

    I was just doing some MENSA puzzles, thinking "man, these are sooo easy". Then I realised I was just googling the answers.

    I dont know what I'd do if I had to think for myself for 14 days.

    1. Re:I couldnt do it. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny
      I dont know what I'd do if I had to think for myself for 14 days.


      Well if you don't know, you could always Google for...

      Oh, wait.

  6. a real test by scottking · · Score: 4, Funny

    wanna really see them twitch?

    take away their cellphones too.

    --
    scott king
    1. Re:a real test by CanadianCrackPot · · Score: 1, Funny

      You're right I can't live without the Wired, un oh Lain is calling me again...

      --
      Good programmers drink beer to relieve job stress.
      Great programmers drink hard liquor and work best hungover.
  7. And the advert finishes with..... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

    "Ask your doctor about Intergain for withdrawal and feelings of loss, frustration and disconnectedness during inconvient internet movements. Not to be taken while eating, drinking, breathing, typing, sleeping, driving, upgrading or patching. May cause excessive borrowing of toys from children. May also cause a desire for a girlfriend with a 300 baud modem and an 8 bit computer."

  8. I'm affected too... by NathanM412 · · Score: 5, Funny

    I was going to criticize this article as over-exagerated until I realized that I was reading Slashdot at 3:45am because I was having trouble sleeping. Oh well, what can you do?

  9. gibbering by Bromrrrrr · · Score: 1, Funny

    one begins gibbering uncontrollably

    Are they sure these people didn't have an Internet connection?

    --

    What a rotten party, have we run out of beer or something?
  10. Experiment Cuts Off Online Junkies from Internet by Hudjakov · · Score: 1, Funny

    I thought this kind of experiments were illegal since World War II

  11. Hi my name is John by l0ungeb0y · · Score: 4, Funny

    I'm an Webaddict.I didn't see it at first, how it hurt my family and loved ones. I didn't care to think about the people I'd rob to pay my subscription fees to the porn sites. And there's so many porn sites, soon the 7-11 wasn't enough, I had to hit the Shell stations and the Stop 'n Go, one morning I was real desperate and hit up the Krispy Kreme and I even took all the change in the big styrofoam cup, heh... I still can't forget the helpless look on that guys face. I don't know why I did it. Maybe it was because majormellons.com had just become a thing called a port hole or something... 35 brands of big busty broads... I ... I just couldn't help myself or something... yeah... and so much tit, more tit than you'd ever seen before, soon I was at 200 subsrciptions to all these other port holes and I was like the tit god of the frikken universe! All those girls at my finger tips, mpegs, jpeg galleries, live web feeds! All of it Mine MIne MIne!!! I was a real live electronic sex god! Whoooyah muthfukahhh! A sex god!!!! You hear that? A real live electronic sex ... mmmmfhhhhhh ... sex godmmmpthhhhh....

    "And now we'd like to introduce another new member, Neville"

  12. You know you're reading /. too much when by teamhasnoi · · Score: 5, Funny

    You're posting, at 3 am. to this story.
    You have over 2200 posts.
    You mod your pals +5 Funny and -1 Troll. In real life.
    You constantly Profit! from ???
    You can imagine a beowulf cluster of sandwitches.
    You wonder if linux can run on your girlfreind.
    You snicker at the last one, because you don't know any girls.
    You can spot a goatse link from a mile away.
    You are no longer shocked by goatse.
    You still can't figure out why /. changed to a non-number karma system, if pageviews make them $$$, you probably bought the new server which you constantly stress.
    You never get mod points.
    You know all my posts are hilarious.

    1. Re:You know you're reading /. too much when by Zilquis · · Score: 3, Funny

      When you decide to make a list like this

  13. Re:Strange by tukkayoot · · Score: 4, Funny

    Haha, chump! I got to see the magnificent landscapes by clicking that link, and I didn't have to move one foot!

  14. Human rights? Amnesty International? by Vo0k · · Score: 2, Funny

    How can they conduct such cruel experiments?!
    They want to ban cloning humans, they protest nuclear technology development, yet they allow such inhuman monstrosities to happen! I'm shocked and disgusted!

    --
    Anagram("United States of America") == "Dine out, taste a Mac, fries"
  15. Re:Strange by mirko · · Score: 5, Funny

    What you saw were only 2MPixel shots.
    What I got was a 4pi steradian immersion as well as the ultimate oxygen fix :)

    --
    Trolling using another account since 2005.
  16. internet users feel confident,secure and empowered by bushboy · · Score: 2, Funny

    "internet users feel confident,secure and empowered"

    Hmmm, I always wondered why my voice has taken on a booming quality and how instead of sticking to the shadows when walking, I now stride confidentally down the street waving at everyone I meet.

    And that's just when I'm online !

    I always knew this internet thingy was good for you and now I have my proof !

    --
    A slashdotting - you get the stick first and then the carrot !
  17. Why the hell would I want to give up the Internet? by lewp · · Score: 5, Funny

    All of you people are so interesting.

    --
    Game... blouses.
  18. QUIT AT OWN RISK by tunabomber · · Score: 4, Funny

    Seriously, the withdrawal is a bitch.
    I tried to quit the Internet "cold turkey", but went right back on the wagon after two days of seeing dead trolls crawling around the ceiling.
    Maybe I should have tried your heroin idea.

    --

    pi = 3.141592653589793helpimtrappedinauniversefactory71 ...
    1. Re:QUIT AT OWN RISK by Hinhule · · Score: 1, Funny

      There where undead slashdotters crawling around your ceiling?

    2. Re:QUIT AT OWN RISK by Rinikusu · · Score: 1, Funny

      I've always wanted to try heroin, but was afraid it would lead to cigarettes. :(

      --
      If you were me, you'd be good lookin'. - six string samurai
  19. Re:So... by jrumney · · Score: 4, Funny
    Didn't you see big brother UK?

    I think I'd rather be a chronic internet addict than sat in front of the box watching crap reality TV shows all the time.

  20. We are Borg by matt_martin · · Score: 2, Funny

    Please, plug me back into the collective - I feel alone, empty, when away from it...

    --
    Lurking in the desert
  21. Re:So... by MetalMorph · · Score: 5, Funny

    You can do both with a TV tuner card.

    --
    My words are backed with NUCLEAR WEAPONS!
  22. Ehh... by Arcanix · · Score: 5, Funny

    Who needs human contact anyway? Humans are SO out this season.

    The real future is robots, sex robots in particular. With one of those I could avoid all human contact and still visit Slashdot regularly while being "serviced".

    1. Re:Ehh... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0, Funny
      Yeah, man take a look at this p0rno shot...

      http://www.frc.ri.cmu.edu/~hpm/talks/Extras/roomba .JPG

  23. Hawaii works well too by billstewart · · Score: 4, Funny
    I was only there about 10 days, didn't take the computer, some of the hotel rooms didn't even have phones. No problem, mon. Seemed a bit silly to use maps made of actual dead trees, but it worked ok. Spent a lot of time talking to family, hanging out at the beach, drinking things with rum in them, driving around volcanoes.

    Of course, when I got back home, my PC was grumpy and had several hundred non-spam emails to hand me, mixed in with spam about how I could win free trips to Hawaii.

    --

    Bill Stewart
    New Fast-Compression-only CPR http://preview.tinyurl.com/dy575ks
  24. Re:phh, 2 weeks? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny
    or just wander the streets with my laptop hopping from network to network.

    Yeah, you should stop doing that.

    It's freaking the homeless people out.

  25. Fooled them... by identity0 · · Score: 4, Funny

    Pffft... they think they've cut me off, and that I've gone clean... What they don't know is, I snuck a Blackberry in by hiding it up my ass and I'm using it to get Slashdot! Gotta get my fix, you know...

    Thank god for wireless, otherwise : )

    1. Re:Fooled them... by JackRandom · · Score: 2, Funny

      Five long years, he wore this Blackberry up his ass. Then when he died of dysentery, he gave me the Blackberry. I hid this uncomfortable piece of metal up my ass for two years. Then, after seven years, I was sent home to my family. And now, little man, I give the Blackberry to you.

  26. Re:So... by krymsin01 · · Score: 2, Funny

    Heh, I watched Big Brother UK from the states thanks to a kind usenet poster. Ended up getting addicted to that show. Would check in every 12 hours or so to get my fix. So I get to be both. Chicken.... *shudder*

    --
    stuff
  27. Re:So... by edittard · · Score: 5, Funny
    When I say human contact I mean face to face
    Doggy style not your thing, then?
    --
    At the bottom of the /. main page it says 'Yesterday's News'. Well they got that right.
  28. Re:diversify your income by Dogtanian · · Score: 1, Funny

    I've got a web-site that is beginning to show promise as a way to get a decent amount of residual income. The sections that bring in the most revenue are the sections I havn't touched in months. So it's not something I must do constantly.

    Yeah, but are you sure running a porn website with photos of yourself naked in various poses is in your long term interest?

    Anyway, I think it's bad that you're getting lazy like that, so I've ripped all the images from your website and posted them to Usenet.

    Yep; I'm sorry, you're going to have to take another set of photos involving "Big" Steve and a tube of KY Jelly.

    --
    "Slashdot - News and Chat Sites Deviant". (Click "homepage" link above for details).
  29. Re:So... by dave_mcmillen · · Score: 4, Funny

    I think I'd rather be a chronic internet addict than sat in front of the box watching crap reality TV shows all the time.

    Oh, you're just saying that because you feel confident, secure, and empowered.

  30. Less Slash Dot = Higher GDP by Moschaef · · Score: 0, Funny

    I wonder....

    If Slashdot were down for 2 weeks, could you measure the resulting increased productivity's impact on national GDP?

    Democrats for Bush! Do the right thing!

  31. Re:Strange by TheDredd · · Score: 2, Funny

    Hiking in the mountains is a good candidate

    My country (NL) does not have any mountains you incensitive clod!!

  32. Maybe it's the porn... by LilMikey · · Score: 2, Funny

    maybe it's the withdrawl of vast amounts of pornography they're reacting to.

    --
    LilMikey.com... I'll stop doing it when you sto
  33. Re:So... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Yah, you'll never see a nerd lusting over a woman's boobs, unless of course she is in a Star Trek episode.

  34. Let's compare by peacefinder · · Score: 2, Funny

    The reason for the rapid collapse of their universe is - say the researchers - because 'internet users feel confident, secure and empowered.'

    When they're on it, so do people using meth.

    --
    With reasonable men I will reason; with humane men I will plead; but to tyrants I will give no quarter. -- William Lloyd
  35. Heard muttering near the study... by AvantLegion · · Score: 3, Funny
    ".... first p0st.... must..1stp0st... gnaa... grits... portman... linux, tux, debian, GEN-2! my use flags.... 03 vs. 0s.... no use 02 st00pid n00b... fux0r bush... stfu fux0r kerrie... perl good... no perl BAD FIRE BAD!!11..."

    Doctor: "Timmy, you've been offline for 2 days and 3 hours. How do you feel?

    ".... omfg 14 new IE h0les by now... must linux troll..."

  36. not addicted by dirvish · · Score: 2, Funny

    That's BS. I could quit anytime...I swear.