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Microsoft: The Faint Smell of Rot

Posted by ryuzaki0 on from the could-happen dept.

happycorp writes "A business reporter for ABC/Fortune is asking whether Microsoft is poised to collapse, based on years of industry observation (with successful calls in the past, he notes) rather than purely technical considerations. A short read, with this favorite quote: "if you sniff the air, you can just make out the first hints of rot.""

36 of 903 comments (clear)

  1. Wait here it comes... by TheKidWho · · Score: 2, Funny

    Apple is going to be dead by the end of the year.

  2. Wow- An anti-microsoft person think MS about todie by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    What a revelation. Next up people that hate cities think small towns are wave of future.

  3. MS is dying? by tool462 · · Score: 5, Funny

    I won't believe it until Netcraft confirms it.

  4. root by Swedentom · · Score: 5, Funny

    "The faint smell of root" :-D

    --
    Sig Nature
    1. Re:root by Swedentom · · Score: 3, Funny

      No, I mean to imply I have root access to their servers, and they're indeed going to collapse, from the inside and out.

      rm -rf /

      Haha, they're going down! No wait... root? This can't be Microsoft's server, it's UNIX? Uh-oh... no... NOO!

      [Connection lost]

      --
      Sig Nature
    2. Re:root by IthnkImParanoid · · Score: 2, Funny

      Isn't root Australian slang for "have sex"?

      If the smell of root is "faint", you ain't doing it right.

      --
      It's nothing but crumpled porno and Ayn Rand.
  5. Re:Collapse? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    The money is largely gone. Special dividend.

  6. Smell of rot by Quiet_Desperation · · Score: 5, Funny

    I'm sorry. That was me.

  7. Sure fire way to make MS fail by DuctTape · · Score: 5, Funny
    I have the sure-fire way to make Microsoft fail: I'll invest in it. My history with investments is legend: Iomega, Syquest, Alcatel, to name some.

    As soon as the market opens on Monday, I'll buy a few hundred shares, and watch the tumble.

    Get out while you can.

    DT

    --
    Is this thing on? Hello?
    1. Re:Sure fire way to make MS fail by targo · · Score: 4, Funny

      I have the sure-fire way to make Microsoft fail: I'll invest in it. My history with investments is legend: Iomega, Syquest, Alcatel, to name some.

      There was a joke in Communist Poland a while ago.
      An old jew has 1000 zlotys (Polish currency). A guy from the local savings bank advises that he should put it in the bank.
      - But what if the bank goes bankrupt? the jew asks
      - The savings in the bank are guaranteed buy the Polish state!
      - But what if the state goes bankrupt?
      - Then your savings would be guaranteed by the whole league of Socialist nations, led by Soviet Union!
      - But what if the Soviet Union goes bankrupt?
      - Well, would you really be sorry to sacrifice 1000 zlotys for that?

      --
      When men used to be men
  8. Re:Um... by Randy+Wang · · Score: 2, Funny

    You're right - it's probably just formaldehyde.

    --
    --- Egads, I glow in the dark!
  9. Re:Collapse? by PoopJuggler · · Score: 2, Funny

    I'm not sure the shareholders would be too keen on that

  10. The Sky Is FALLING!!! by litewoheat · · Score: 2, Funny

    Yeah, wasn't Apple dead too? Like what, three times now?

  11. Not a problem, really by eclectro · · Score: 4, Funny

    Microsoft will just buy Glade, the company that makes plug-in air fresheners.

    Your computer will emit a little wisp of air freshener the mext time you smell a hint of rot.

    You will actually look forward to seeing Clippy...

    --
    Take the cheese to sickbay, the doctor should see it as soon as possible - B'Elanna Torres, "Learning Curve"
    1. Re:Not a problem, really by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny


      Clippy: "I see your ass is quite ripe, today! Would you like me to freshen your cubicle?"

  12. In other news.... by pploco · · Score: 2, Funny

    The earth would appear to be eroding away by massive solar winds. Scientists predict the earth to be completely disintegrated in 20 to 30 billion years.

    --
    Gimme that booze you little pumpkin pie hair cutted freak!
    1. Re:In other news.... by squireofgothos · · Score: 2, Funny

      Unless it's destroyed sooner to make way for a hyperspace bypass route... 'Scuse me while I find my towel.

      --
      There is no sig...
  13. Re:You could have said this... by rsborg · · Score: 3, Funny
    ...about the Roman Empire in the time of Julius Caesar. But it took several hundert years until it collapsed.

    I wouldn't neccessarily compare Steve "MonkeyDance" Ballmer with Julius Ceaser. Maybe more like Nero or Caligula...

    --
    Make sure everyone's vote counts: Verified Voting
  14. I smell something different... by Alakaboo · · Score: 4, Funny

    If you sniff the air, you can just make out the first hints of sensationalistic journalism.

  15. Re:Uh huh by blixel · · Score: 4, Funny

    Let me ask you, when someone comes up to you and says "I work at Microsoft" , what is your first reaction?

    I'm sorry.

  16. One quick comment: by alex_guy_CA · · Score: 2, Funny

    Wishing doesn't make it so.

    --
    San Francisco Photographers
  17. Re:Um... by izakage · · Score: 1, Funny

    Dear Editor: This is Slashdot, the least you could so it spell 'root' correctly.

  18. I love the smell of rot in the morning by duckpoopy · · Score: 2, Funny

    The smell of VICTORY.

    --
    word.
  19. LOL! by PincheGab · · Score: 2, Funny
    if you sniff the air, you can just make out the first hints of rot

    LOL! This guy should smell RMS' sweaty armpits at his highness' next presentation and do a prognosis for OSS based on that!

  20. Re:Uh huh by soloport · · Score: 1, Funny

    Let me ask you, when someone comes up to you and says "I work at Microsoft" , what is your first reaction?

    Bummer. Hey, how 'bout that FireFox thing? Isn't that incredible?

  21. Re:Collapse? by ScottKin · · Score: 1, Funny

    Wait a sec...

    Enron was accused of fraud and power market manipulat...

    Oh, wait... ...Nevermind.

    --ScottKin

    --
    I don't give a rat's behind about "karma" here or anywhere else. Don't like what I have to say here? Deal with it!
  22. Re:Rot? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    "made video gamers wet their pants twice over the Xbox"

    Wet their pants...in laughter?

    They lost billions just to stay alive in last place. MS got a giant public ass reaming from Sony. Just like they are in the upcoming console cycle.

  23. Re:ABC Columnist Confirms: Something Is Rotting by jazman_777 · · Score: 2, Funny
    With Microsoft...who knows.

    Maybe they'll go into the online pr0n business. Microsoft Boob.

    --
    Slashdot: Failed Car Analogies. Amateur Lawyering. Anecdote Battles.
  24. Re:Collapse? by Trelane · · Score: 2, Funny
    f Microsoft were to stop making money it would cease to be (as we currently know it).
    Venkman: This city is headed for a disaster of biblical proportions. Mayor: What do you mean, biblical? Ray: What he means is Old Testament, Mr. Mayor... real Wrath-of-God-type stuff. Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies. Venkman: Rivers and seas boiling! Egon: 40 years of darkness, earthquakes, volcanos. Winston: The dead rising from the grave! Venkman: Human sacrifice, dogs and cats, living together... Richard Stallman: Linux on every desktop! Venkman: mass hysteria!

    [With gratitude toward MovieSounds.com for the quote, and humblest apologies toward everyone who was involved with or who is partial to Ghostbusters for the bastardization thereof.]

    --

    --
    Given enough personal experience, all stereotypes are shallow.
  25. Reminds me an old Soviet joke by Sleeper · · Score: 4, Funny

    Q: Is it true that capitalism is rotting away?
    A: Yes. But what an aroma!!!

    --
    - Back off man. I am a scientist
    1. Re:Reminds me an old Soviet joke by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      Which reminds me of an other:
      Capitalism is on the brink of collapsing into a deep abyss! And we are always one step ahead of them!

  26. mass hysteria! by dpilot · · Score: 3, Funny

    I believe you mean, "GNU/Linux on every desktop!" don't you?

    --
    The living have better things to do than to continue hating the dead.
  27. Re:Capital is to be USED not OWNED by Theatetus · · Score: 2, Funny
    You've heard of "synergy" right?

    Never without rolling my eyes.

    --
    All's true that is mistrusted
  28. Re:ABC Columnist Confirms: Something Is Rotting by mboverload · · Score: 1, Funny
    Oh yeah...fuck me harder Windows 2003!

    Holy crap, that even applies in a non-porn way.

  29. Re:ABC Columnist Confirms: Something Is Rotting by eno2001 · · Score: 2, Funny

    No one got the joke, did they?

    Oh well... onto the serious stuff. No, I didn't RTFA. But, I will say that how much money a company makes means nothing to a lot of us. We don't care about profit, we just care about development. After all, besides making music and art and just coding for fun, why would anyone bother getting into computers in the first place?

    --
    -"...bad old ideas look confusingly fresh when they are packaged as technology" - Jaron Lanier (Digital Maoism on Edge.o
  30. Re:Uh huh by Tracy+Reed · · Score: 2, Funny


    > Let me ask you, when someone comes up to you and says "I work at Microsoft" , what is your first reaction?

    I am reminded of this:

    "Please don't tell my parents I work for Microsoft. They still think I'm a bartender in a gay brothel."
    - Usenet