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The Darth Vader Blog

miller60 writes "Darth Vader has launched his very own blog: The Darth Side: Memoirs of A Monster, in which the Sith Lord holds forth in posts such as "Christmas on Hoth" and "I Am Surrounded By Idiots." The comments are a hoot as well. The homage appears to be the handiwork of Canadian Matthew Frederick Davis Hemming."

24 of 176 comments (clear)

  1. The force is strong with this one. by maotx · · Score: 4, Funny

    Yeah, I was there last week. Not a bad blog. One of the better ones out there. However he fails to mention his appearence on Jerry Springer and the real reason why noone understands him. Hes not really a bad guy, he just has issues that noone understands.

    --
    I'm a virgo and on Slashdot. Coincidence? Yes.
    1. Re:The force is strong with this one. by kfg · · Score: 4, Funny

      . . .he just has issues that noone understands.

      Now, don't tell me, let me guess. "He misses his mommy."

      Am I at least close?

      KFG

    2. Re:The force is strong with this one. by Rei · · Score: 4, Funny

      The comment are just as good. My favorite:

      Dear friend,
      This message may come as a surprise to you because we have never met.
      Following the destructon of the rebel base on Yavin, my father, Chancellor Tinyan G'Bata transferred 10,000,000 credits to an unmarked account in the Corisant's Citizen's First Empire Bank.
      Please to be fowarding you phone number so we can make arrangements for you to claim the money. You will keep 10% for your troubles.
      This is NOT the "Kessel" scam you may have heard about. I am a legitimate Barrister.

      --
      Are there any deer in the theater tonight? Get 'em up against the wall.
    3. Re:The force is strong with this one. by mattOzan · · Score: 5, Funny
      And the followup in later comments:

      Duncan Ozzel said...

      YOU BASTARD!

      How DARE you kill our son. He has always been faithful to the Empire and always served you well...

      Ok.. There was that incident in the Dining hall..

      and the whole "misunderstanding" on Tatoee that caused some bad PR on the local Troops show..

      and the incident about the midgets that we really don't want to go into right now...

      Ok.. so he deserved to die. He was adopted anyway.

      So... basically... all I'm trying to say is... Thanks for the Midget Porn.

      Duncan Ozzel Head of House Ozzel.

      28.4.05

  2. Entry by planetoid · · Score: 5, Funny

    Apr 25 -- James Earl Jones is still doing insulting impressions of me at cocktail parties for cheap laughs; the prostitutes he flirts with think it's "cute".

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  3. Marvin has one, too by lxw56 · · Score: 5, Interesting

    Marvin the Paranoid Android has a Xanga, too.

    It appears to be a marketing ploy; I can't say that about the Vader blog.

  4. Blog? by daeley · · Score: 5, Funny

    "Journal! So...you have a Live Journal. Your Mood icon has now betrayed it, too. Google was wise to hide it from me. Now the search engine's failure is complete. If you will not turn to the blog side, then perhaps it will."

    --
    I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate.
  5. And on the other side of the fence.. by OblongPlatypus · · Score: 5, Informative

    Chewbacca appears to be blogging for the rebels...

    --
    -- If no truths are spoken then no lies can hide --
  6. *howling with laughter* by JLSigman · · Score: 4, Interesting

    This is GREAT. Someone needs to give this guy the script to the first 3 movies to redo. ;-)

    --
    -jls
    Techno-pagan
  7. Re:This is news? by Spy+der+Mann · · Score: 4, Funny

    The previous poster couldn't speak anymore. He was strangled by a mysterious force.

  8. Perfect timing! by truthsearch · · Score: 4, Funny

    I'm just about to open my new site: "The Dark Helmet Side: Memoirs of a Schwartz"

    First few posts:
    "Channukah on Druidia"
    "I Am Surrounded By A$$holes"
    "A Night With a Druish Princess"
    "Yogurt! I Hate Yogurt!"
    "Only One Man Would Dare Use Strawberry"

  9. Re:Oh Great by Liselle · · Score: 5, Funny
    Now you've gone and ./ it.
    Dot-slash it? Is this some kind of obscure Soviet Russia joke?
    --
    Auto-reply to ACs: "Truly, you have a dizzying intellect."
  10. move along by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    this is not the /. you are looking for.

  11. Best line so far.... by Paladin144 · · Score: 5, Funny

    "Whose trachea do you have to crush with your mind to get a little service around here?"

    --20050422

    Boy, I know how you feel, Darth! I find myself wondering that all the time.

    Go ahead! Mod me down! Who wants a trachea-crushing?!

  12. Darth Vader the blogging emo weenie by planetoid · · Score: 5, Funny

    Apr 26 - today I can't listen to Dashboard Confessional because Teena dumped me for Brad and their songs always make me think about her. Maybe this upcoming Radiohead album will raise my spirits. I doubt it. Dad's been totally ragging on me for leaving my helmet lying around the house, but he's like, not my real dad, so I don't have to listen to him. *huhhhh*. *huhhhh*. Yea its like that asshole security guard at the mall telling me what to do, its like, if I want to hang out at the Orange Julius, it's my Constitutional right to hang out at Orange Juliuses, and I'll get the ACLU to arrest him for discriminating against me. *huhhhh*. *huhhhh*.

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  13. Reminds me of that Izzard quote... by zoeblade · · Score: 5, Funny

    Your diary must look odd: "Get up in the morning, death, death, death, death, death, death, death - lunch- death, death, death - afternoon tea - death, death, death - quick shower..."

    - Eddie Izzard, Dress to Kill

  14. The real Dark Lord... by Zuke8675309 · · Score: 4, Funny

    Funny how even Darth Vader succumbs to putting Ads by Google in his blog...

    Who really is the Master?

  15. There is a frickin NIGERIAN SCAM... by Conspiracy_Of_Doves · · Score: 4, Funny

    In the comments of the earliest post

    I discovered an abandoned deposit in my company owned by one of our Outer Rim customers who died along with his entire family as a result of an landspeeder crash. He actually deposited this funds amounting to IC12,000,000,000.00 (Twelve billion Imperial Credits), for safe keeping in my company here in Mos Eisley. Company file records shows that the funds was actually for a project our late costumer wanted to start in the near future (a multi million Dollar Spice plant in Kessel)


    Oh. my. god. that is funny.

  16. durrrrr by gmplague · · Score: 4, Funny

    This is nothing compared to Terri Shiavo's blog.

    Steven Hawking's blog is also entertaining.

    --
    __________________________________________
    Take comfort in your ignorance.
    Grandmaster Plague
  17. If you mod me down by Cro+Magnon · · Score: 4, Funny

    I will become more powerful than you can imagine.

    --
    Slow down, cowboy! It has been 4 hours since you last posted. You must wait another few hours.
  18. Re:Matthew Frederick Davis Hemming by An+ominous+Cow+art · · Score: 4, Funny

    Perhaps "Matthew" is his title?

  19. Re:Am I the only one who hates dim-on-black? by niiler · · Score: 5, Funny

    *You* tell Darth Frickin Vader that he can't have a black on black page.

  20. Jesus Christ! by CheeseburgerBlue · · Score: 5, Interesting

    Uh...thanks for the traffic -- I hope the spillover to my own website hasn't just cost be a bazillion dollars in bandwidth. I'm watching my stats go through the roof...so *this* is getting Slashdotted. Good thing I hosted the thing on BlogSpot. Mercy.

    1. Re:Jesus Christ! by Kehvarl · · Score: 5, Insightful

      "You would prefer another target, a military target? Then, name the system! I grow tired of asking this so it will be the last time. Where is the Rebel base?"