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The Physics of Superman
eieken writes "The physics of Superman mostly belong in the realm of comic books, but some scientists decided to give their input on the matter. The article tells of 'a scientific experiment in which a researcher put several chickens in a centrifuge and raised them in twice-normal gravity for months at a time. When they emerged, the chickens were stronger and had larger bones and muscles, and greater endurance. In other words, they were superchickens.' Do they have human sized centrifuges?"
But can the superchickens fly now?
Funnypics
Is it time to welcome our new super-chicken overlords?
Support a true independent artist - Leila Lopez
Looks like they should have put their web server in the centrifuge as well...
Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
It's difficult to tell from this vantage point whether they will consume the captive earth men or merely enslave them. One thing is for certain: there is no stopping them; the chickens will soon be here. And I for one welcome our new centrifuge generated superchicken overlords.
------ Take away the right to say fuck and you take away the right to say fuck the government.
The Sayan of Planet Vegeta know it for a long time...
My grandma used to kill chickens by twirling them over her head to break the necks, then throwing them down. Like to see her try that with a "superchicken"!
Can't you just see it? Hank comes outside to find his wife, and there the is, cornered in the hen house. "Look out Hank! That one by the door knows judo or something!"
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Psyclo, the dark night.
Mike, the computer geek.
Super Grover unavailable for comment.
Reviews with a twist! http://www.sardonicbastard.com
Apparently they tasted just like Christopher Reeve.
If Superman humped Lois and discharged, would those projectiles do her damage?
I would assume it's because she's still alive to feel it rather than being killed instantly.
... it turns out super takes like chicken.
Help poke pirates in the eyepatch, arr.
When you find yourself in danger,
When you're threatened by a stranger,
When it looks like you will take a lickin',
There is someone waiting,
Who will hurry up and rescue you,
just Call for Super Chicken!
Fred, if you're afraid you'll have to overlook it,
Besides you knew the job was dangerous when you took it
He will drink his super sauce
And throw the bad guys for a loss
And he will bring them in alive and kickin'
There is one thing you should learn
When there is no one else to turn to
Call for Super Chicken!
"Kittens give Morbo gas!"
*mumbles something about welcoming centrifuge raised chicken overlords*
I hate printers.
Everytime you mod me down, a scientist centrifuges a chicken.
Please, think of chickens.
I think a rotisserie is like a really morbid ferris wheel for chickens. It's a strange piece of machinery... "We will take the chicken, kill it, impale it, and then rotate it. And I'll be damned if I'm not hungry! Because spinning chicken carcasses make my mouth water! I like dizzy chicken. With a side of potatoes of some sort."
Post-rock/Ambient/Drone and other noise.
I've heard rumors to the effect that if you attack them with a sword repeatedly, it will send a call out to dozens of other superchickens which will all attack you until you flee indoors or scroll to the next area.
God spoke to me.
"The question is more how can YOU ethical approve eating chicken?!?!?"
Cause they are tastey?
You mean ultra-mega-hyper chicken? Shh! He is legend!
Unlike porn, which yada yada rimshot hey-ooh!
When I was an undergrad taking lower division Newtonian Physics my prof assigned a problem set along the lines of:
"Superman: the man of steel. Faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, able to leap tall buildings in a single bound:
1) Calculate Superman's kinetic energy to go faster than the bullet
2) Determine the amount of work Superman would do pushing against the locomotive to make it go backwards 1 km on a level track
3) Compute the impulse generated by Superman to leap a tall building
Most of the class did OK, I got all the answers in the ballpark, but one student had answers that were an order of magnitude greater than anybody elses'. When the prof asked the student why his answers were so high, he replied "Well, it seems as if I used a higher mass than anybody else - you DID say that Superman was the man of steel, didn't you?"
He got full credit.
Given that he's powered by the Sun, I'd lean more towards an optical nervous system.
I'd lean more towards getting out more.
It took me a few weeks, but I pefected tweaking the speed just right to have those panels slide up and down repeatedly. And in doing so, I managed to "jiggle" many a breast out from under a bikini top!
That's hilarious! You lucky bastard, that must have been awesome. Maybe that explains your fetish for abnormally flat breasts...
I think if you take your theory a little further and make the assumption that Superman is in fact a fictional character and lives soley in our imaginations where anything is possible regardless of any laws of physics, or anything else, you may get closer to discovering Supermans true nature.
-Eric
SJW: Someone who has run out of real oppression, and has to fake it.
The man has a serious GAS problem, you can always see him lean his but out just a little before he takes off. Same thing goes when he levitate, it's just one constant steady flow of but wind. If a person were on krypton then they would be able to smell the difference, but on earth superman's gas emits no odor. The same theory can be applied to his super speed, i'm still working on the other abilities.
15 years from now at your local KFC... Hi, yes I would like to order 1 bucket of Extra crispy Super Chicken
Well Im gona go do something... and by something I mean nothing but doing nothing away from my computer counts as someth
A: Yes, there's a ride a Magic Mountain in southern California, but I don't know that they'd keep it running for you months at a time, and it would cost you a bloody fortune in ride tickets and daily admission. :-)