Slashdot Mirror
What Vista Is Really Like
This waking dream has been making the rounds: what if you woke and found a strange and beautiful woman in your bed, and she was inscrutible, unpredictable, and dangerous... but oh so beautiful? That's Vista for you.
← Back to Stories (view on slashdot.org)
This waking dream has been making the rounds: what if you woke and found a strange and beautiful woman in your bed, and she was inscrutible, unpredictable, and dangerous... but oh so beautiful?
That happens to us all the time, and we slashdotters JUS DUN GIV A FUC. That's how badass we are.
The trouble is; she is "Britney Spears" beautiful rather than "Natalie Portman" beautiful. ...so you have to ask yourself, do I need baldilocks or do I need hot grits?
Ripping an new rectum in the fabric of spacetime.
This waking dream has been making the rounds: what if you woke and found a strange and beautiful woman in your bed, and she was inscrutible, unpredictable, and dangerous... but oh so beautiful?
I'm gay. I'd panic.
But will she go down on you as much as previous incarnations?
To do something right, you often have to roll up your sleeves and get busy.
No, its called my PSYCHO ex-gf. Awesome in bed, but *shiver* psycho.... *shiver* ... ..
Kinda like when you've been tied up and she goes down stairs and you hear kitchen utensils rattling and this was just after Basic Instint (one, yes a long time ago).... *shiver*
Never again! I swore to myself, never again!!!!
.
Then I got married.........
*shiver*
"DISPLAY PROPERTIES NEEDS YOUR PER-PER-PER-"
The whole building collapses.
I spend most of my time in bed, darling.
Why?
>what if you woke and found a strange and beautiful woman in your bed, and she was inscrutible, unpredictable, and dangerous...
and you reach down and discover she has a dick.
Open Source Drum Kit, LPLC deve board - mjhdesigns.com
Too bad she's bloated and stops you a hundred times whenever you try to do anything interesting.
Since we are anthropomorphizing and all ..
I'd say Vista is like a fat ugly lady dressed in very nice clothes. And, I'd say Vista users are like those people looking for a sugar mama going after glitz.
What you are describing is inconcievable to most of the posters. You might try: "imagaine a 16way AMD box, a real screamer for SETI, molecule folding etc., also fully modded to use the waste heat to make espresso but would randomly shock you and download kiddie pr0n without your knowledge'.
That might be something a slashdotter understands.
putting the 'B' in LGBTQ+
I have many partitions.
So. I have Vista installed on my home computer.
Can I trade it for that beautiful and dangerous woman you are talking about?
so vista is like an expensive whore with STDs?
The fact that she's crazy can be overlooked
I wouldn't be so sure about that...
Seven puppies were harmed during the making of this post.
Yes, she was beautiful last night when you were pissed up on booze, but now, laying next to her, you notice how her face is covered in oozing rivers of makeup, slowly melting and running down her face. You are disgusted by her foul, pitted skin and faint moustache effect. She yawns, and your face is blasted by an unholy, eldritch gas, you recoil and wretch, struggling to keep what remains of last night's kebab and chips in your stomach.
Terrified you slowly peel back the duvet to reveal breasts that are so small that sagging should not be possible; yet sag they do, with two terrible, craggly nipples point out in unrelated directions. You begin to feel faint, your ears begin to ring, but you cannot resist scanning down her fetid, clammy belly, to see the most rotten vagina that has ever blighted this earth. With lips twisted, gnarled and gaping, the stench is unimaginable; a mixture of stale kippers, mouldy garlic and fuming sulfuric acid, you are amazed that your sheets are still in once piece. Oh yes, you grab the hot sauce alright, but only pour it in your eyes so you can no longer see what lies before you, and force it into your nose so the odour can no longer torment you.
Windows, pretty on the outside but further examination reveals that it is thick layer of make up applied to an old hag who there for everyone. She is set in her ways and getting her to do anything requires you to spend more money.
OS-X. Extremely pretty but deep down she is an mature lady with a lot of refinement. She however expects only the best so you better deliver. This baby is going to cost you.
Linux, the ugly duckling of the pack, yet she loves you completely without resevervation, she doesn't want your for your money or status. She is open and honest. And if you love her you can turn her into the princes of the ball but unlike the pretty windows, the linux girl stays true to you.
BSD, well, you seen dawn of the dead?
I am KIDDING!
OS/2 A loving hard working wive who raised the kids perfectly, kept the house in excellent condition and always prepared delicious meals followed by amazing sex, yet spurned for a 16 bit bimbo with 32 bit makeup.
Mainframe, you have to wait in line with the other johns, good service but you know thousands of others have been there before you.
Okay, I am out, your turn.
MMO Quests are like orgasms:
You may solo them, I prefer them in a group.
Personally, I like my women like I like my coffee ... cold, dark and bitter.
Lightly roasted.
Finely ground.
In puddles on the floor.
Full of milk.
Nerd rage is the funniest rage.