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What Vista Is Really Like
This waking dream has been making the rounds: what if you woke and found a strange and beautiful woman in your bed, and she was inscrutible, unpredictable, and dangerous... but oh so beautiful? That's Vista for you.
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This waking dream has been making the rounds: what if you woke and found a strange and beautiful woman in your bed, and she was inscrutible, unpredictable, and dangerous... but oh so beautiful?
That happens to us all the time, and we slashdotters JUS DUN GIV A FUC. That's how badass we are.
It's called a wet dream....
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The trouble is; she is "Britney Spears" beautiful rather than "Natalie Portman" beautiful. ...so you have to ask yourself, do I need baldilocks or do I need hot grits?
Ripping an new rectum in the fabric of spacetime.
This waking dream has been making the rounds: what if you woke and found a strange and beautiful woman in your bed, and she was inscrutible, unpredictable, and dangerous... but oh so beautiful?
I'm gay. I'd panic.
But will she go down on you as much as previous incarnations?
To do something right, you often have to roll up your sleeves and get busy.
what if you woke and found a strange and beautiful woman in your bed, and she was inscrutible, unpredictable, and dangerous... but oh so beautiful? That's Vista for you.
Yeah, but the problem with women like that is that they're like chocolate. Sweet at first, then increasingly bitter.
The theory of relativity doesn't work right in Arkansas.
"DISPLAY PROPERTIES NEEDS YOUR PER-PER-PER-"
The whole building collapses.
I spend most of my time in bed, darling.
Why?
>what if you woke and found a strange and beautiful woman in your bed, and she was inscrutible, unpredictable, and dangerous...
and you reach down and discover she has a dick.
Open Source Drum Kit, LPLC deve board - mjhdesigns.com
Too bad she's bloated and stops you a hundred times whenever you try to do anything interesting.
Vanity article about Vista ... again ...
I'm not against Vista [though I am], I'm not for it [truth], I just don't care. Are we not yet over the novelty of Vista yet or what? It's basically Windows XP++, big deal.
Tom
Someday, I'll have a real sig.
Since we are anthropomorphizing and all ..
I'd say Vista is like a fat ugly lady dressed in very nice clothes. And, I'd say Vista users are like those people looking for a sugar mama going after glitz.
What you are describing is inconcievable to most of the posters. You might try: "imagaine a 16way AMD box, a real screamer for SETI, molecule folding etc., also fully modded to use the waste heat to make espresso but would randomly shock you and download kiddie pr0n without your knowledge'.
That might be something a slashdotter understands.
putting the 'B' in LGBTQ+
I have many partitions.
So. I have Vista installed on my home computer.
Can I trade it for that beautiful and dangerous woman you are talking about?
so vista is like an expensive whore with STDs?
You'd think that all these bloggers would accept the fact that Microsoft isn't giving away any more free laptops by now...
Seven puppies were harmed during the making of this post.
"I aksed my neighbour, John MacIntosh, to come over to have a look. He said it looks a lot like his house did when he had it remodeled a few years back. Only his house doesn't have any Windows..."
- RG>
Hey pal, this isn't a pleasantforest, so don't waste my time with pleasantries!
No pics?????
The fact that she's crazy can be overlooked
I wouldn't be so sure about that...
Seven puppies were harmed during the making of this post.
Mildly funny, but why does the author go on a rant about viewing the screen resolution? For crying out loud, it's only 3 clicks away from the desktop. Ironically, exactly the same as in XP...
PocketGamer.org - For the gamer on the go!
Yes, she was beautiful last night when you were pissed up on booze, but now, laying next to her, you notice how her face is covered in oozing rivers of makeup, slowly melting and running down her face. You are disgusted by her foul, pitted skin and faint moustache effect. She yawns, and your face is blasted by an unholy, eldritch gas, you recoil and wretch, struggling to keep what remains of last night's kebab and chips in your stomach.
Terrified you slowly peel back the duvet to reveal breasts that are so small that sagging should not be possible; yet sag they do, with two terrible, craggly nipples point out in unrelated directions. You begin to feel faint, your ears begin to ring, but you cannot resist scanning down her fetid, clammy belly, to see the most rotten vagina that has ever blighted this earth. With lips twisted, gnarled and gaping, the stench is unimaginable; a mixture of stale kippers, mouldy garlic and fuming sulfuric acid, you are amazed that your sheets are still in once piece. Oh yes, you grab the hot sauce alright, but only pour it in your eyes so you can no longer see what lies before you, and force it into your nose so the odour can no longer torment you.
That's a pretty clever demo, but it hardly makes me jealous. If Linux comes up with tools in the future that top Quartz Composer, Cocoa, CoreData, CoreVideo and CoreAnimation, then I'll use them.
-jcr
The only title of honor that a tyrant can grant is "Enemy of the State."
Does this mean we'll have to RTFA?
Of course not. That would be cheating.
Seven puppies were harmed during the making of this post.
she was inscrutible, unpredictable, and dangerous
This pretty much describes most of the female population...
I want a new quote. One that won't spill. One that don't cost too much. Or come in a pill.
Windows, pretty on the outside but further examination reveals that it is thick layer of make up applied to an old hag who there for everyone. She is set in her ways and getting her to do anything requires you to spend more money.
OS-X. Extremely pretty but deep down she is an mature lady with a lot of refinement. She however expects only the best so you better deliver. This baby is going to cost you.
Linux, the ugly duckling of the pack, yet she loves you completely without resevervation, she doesn't want your for your money or status. She is open and honest. And if you love her you can turn her into the princes of the ball but unlike the pretty windows, the linux girl stays true to you.
BSD, well, you seen dawn of the dead?
I am KIDDING!
OS/2 A loving hard working wive who raised the kids perfectly, kept the house in excellent condition and always prepared delicious meals followed by amazing sex, yet spurned for a 16 bit bimbo with 32 bit makeup.
Mainframe, you have to wait in line with the other johns, good service but you know thousands of others have been there before you.
Okay, I am out, your turn.
MMO Quests are like orgasms:
You may solo them, I prefer them in a group.
Not really -- the prettiness in OS X is used to make the OS easier to work, the prettiness there is pretty much useless -- the only thing I see as being useful is being able to drop something onto the dock from anywhere along the bottom saves the need to be accurate. This is one reason why vista got it wrong -- Exposé goes out of it's way to show you lots of stuff at the same time so you can make an informed choice. Flip 3D in the mean time may be prettier, but it goes out of it's way to hide everything except for one window -- it can't be used to make comparisons, it can't be used anywhere near as fast as Exposé to change windows. Bob
Guess what? Firefox does the exact same thing: "Firefox prevented this site from opening 2 popup windows" in a light yellow bar at the top of the page with an X on the right side to close it. "Only Microsoft" indeed.
I imagine the information bar increases the usability of websites that still require pop-ups for users who wouldn't otherwise know that their browser is blocking these windows. An icon in the status bar at the bottom of the window is too subtle for some users.
New MS Office - 35% easier to use
New MS OS - 15% easier to use
Being Flamebait on Slashdot - Priceless
Slashdot posts like this prove you are a Troll. For everything else, use made up statisitcs.
You can have it. I'm gay, so this analogy sounds all scary and not at all appealing.
http://alternatives.rzero.com/
Lightly roasted.
Finely ground.
In puddles on the floor.
Full of milk.
Nerd rage is the funniest rage.
Not to mention that vista is not beautiful visually or functionally.
In a plastic cup.
(That's from Eddie Izzard, but I couldn't resist saying it.}
Vista is really like Rosie O'Donnell, fat, lazy, foul-mouthed, lesbian man-hater, ugly, eats too much, and has a loud mouth.
But Vista comes with beer goggles so that while it is Rosie O'Donnell it looks like Marilyn Monroe, and even though you know that is impossible, the beer goggles make you accept it anyway.
Not only that but Rosie O'Donnell came with an iron clad contract so you cannot fire her or use a different OS or use her in a virtual machine, in fact you signed it because it is the EULA and you thought it was harmless at the time, but now you are forced to have her running your life for you and accepting her upgrades (service packs) even if they continue to pack on the pounds on her and cause her to take up more room.
You think you got Marilyn Monroe, but you are stuck with Rosie O'Donnell.
Remember, Slashdot does not have a -1 disagree moderation, and no, troll, flamebait, and overrated are not substitutes.
With a spoon in them.
(Also from Izzard)