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Nissan Adds Robot Helper To Its Concept Car
narramissic writes "Nissan has mounted a robot passenger in the dashboard of its Pivo2 concept car whose job is to keep the driver happy, give spot-on directions, and even check your e-mail. 'We have data that happy drivers' accident rates are drastically lower than depressed ones, so this robot stays there to make sure the driver is happy always,' said Masato Inoue, chief designer at Nissan's exploratory design group, in an interview at the Motor Show. 'This guides the driver and sometimes cheers up the driver. For example, if the driver is irritated it might say 'Hey, you look somehow angry. Why? Please calm down.'' Other features of this vehicle include a cabin that can turn through 360 degrees so you never have to worry about looking behind when you back up and wheels that can twist 90 degrees, eliminating the need to parallel park." The article includes a video of the car talking to the driver, which is kind of adorable in a 'future is now' sorta way.
I see you're trying to parallel park. Can I assist you? Hey, now you like kinda angry. Please calm down. Count to ten. Wait! What are you doing?! Don't throw me out the window! Wait! Hey! Help!!!!
They say the first thing to go is your penis. Well, it's either that or your brain. I forget which...
"R2! We lost number two cupholder! See if you can't lock it down!"
-ubuntu others as you would have others ubuntu you.
>'Hey, you look somehow angry. Why? Please calm down'
It was shortly afterwards the robot was punched into pieces and thrown out the window.
I want a list of atrocities done in your name - Recoil
You know, you've had a terrible day at work, fought with your wife, got pissed because of some other bad news, then you get into your car to drive home, and this robot goes "Hi! The sun is shining! Everybody is haaappyyy! Smmiiiile!"
This sig does not contain any SCO code.
I'd like mine to be named Pris, a "basic pleasure model"
Hi, I'm Jonny Cab!
I'm guessing 9 times out of 10 this will make someone angrier then they already were. Although at least they won't be depressed!
Using openSUSE instead of Windows since 9th of October, 2007 and liking it.
Hi there! This is Eddie your car computer and I just know I'm going to get a kick out of anything you want to do today. Share and enjoy!
I want a list of atrocities done in your name - Recoil
Man this thing might cheer you up for a little while, but the novelty will quickly wear off, especially after you realize how much money you spent on your robot co-pilot.
Libertarian Leaning Political Discussion Forum.
This seems to be a feature of Japanese (and Chinese) technology, the idea of enforced 'happiness'. Smiling faces everywhere, bright colours garish colours and features. Perhaps this has only limited cultural relevance in the international market?
-1 not first post
Isn't 'pivo' how you say 'uh oh' in Russian? (I tried to find a copy of the Sealab 2021 'uh oh' song online, but I can't now.)
The cab that rotates is neat, but it seems it would be easier to just turn the car around than bother spinning the whole cab, driving out, then spinning it back. The tires are neat, but if you have a problem with the mechanism, I bet it's a bitch to find a mechanic that can fix it without charging an arm and a leg.
Neat car, but I'm betting it stays 'concept' for quite a long time.
"If you make people think they're thinking, they'll love you; But if you really make them think, they'll hate you." - DM
Please be happy. The computer is your friend. You are not smiling, I am taking control for your own safety. Please remain seated while I drive you to the nearest reeducation center.
'We have data that happy drivers' accident rates are drastically lower than depressed ones, so this robot stays there to make sure the driver is happy always'
"Driver, it has been noted that you seem to be unhappy, I am now administering a dose of happiness inducer No57, you will be happy citizen, compliance is mandatory."
"You appear to have taken an unscheduled turn citizen, are you disobeying the Computer? Please note course change to direct you to the nearest termination facility, also note that driving left off the bridge ahead will prove your loyalty to the Computer and increase efficiency."
...
By the way, did they check happiness before or after accidents? I guess drivers who got home will be happier than those who had an accident..
On the other hand, if the 'robotic head' can be legally used as the 'second person' for the car pool lanes they may be on to something...
Did no one learn anything from Clippy?
Ok, so how far exactly is this robot willing to go to keep me happy?
Driving would probably be safer if it was a bit more like driving, and less like the office.
Not to mention the fact that driving a Nissan isn't going to put a smile on anybody's face!
I do hope that they'll buy those robots from Sirius Cybernetics Corporation.
Having Marvin permanently fixed to the dashboard would make any driver much happier.
Well I guess since we all are in a joly mood I am going to add my point! ( oh yeah I know this will be modded down to hell! And I don't Care!)
...
Ready all?
Happy Happy Joy Joy
Happy Happy Joy Joy
Happy Happy Joy Joy
Happy Happy
Codefile Defected to another Hexadimal Range refresh your CHAOSTACK.NLM file with a new copy
Nevermind that whatever assistant is a distraction.
The problem is that our society wants the truth to be masked. So you can dress as (we make) you want, say what (we make) you want, rebel as (we make) you want, as long as you are up against the minions like you.
You look tired and older? get your face lifted.
Pissed off in an airport? watch out, you're considered a terrorist.
Feeling depressed? get drugs first, then we can discuss what makes you feel sad, but the objective is removing your depression so you can get back together with the blissful happy ones.
Want to enjoy what your other peers apparently feel fun in a disco? try some pills.
So we disrespect our propaganda-resistant collective memory called "the elders". We feel inadequate while we are fed impossible models and we are presented as an inescapable effect of "progress" the current economy drugged by banking capital which supersedes the older concept of "creating the best product". We consider "natural law of the jungle" the planned lack of improvement of the "human resources" which are ideally disposable drones with the bare minimum of know how to accomplish a task.
"Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two make four. If that is granted, all else follows."
---- MISSING MISCELLANEOUS DATA SEGMENT --- [sigdash] trolololol
"If it's any consolation, my life is great. Babes, bucks, I got it all."
Attack its weak point for massive damage!
Talk to the driver? not happy? next thing is should be releasing of some kind of gas that keeps the driver alert or releasing a scent that driver likes or offering a drink may be. advice: Don't use N2O.Never use porn :)
and cost a lot more than the car
ymmv
"He's your plastic dashboard pal who's fun to be with!"
Chris Mattern
JohnnyCab!
Three-breasted women next, please.
I, for one, welcome our new R2D2 knockoff overlords.
The only thing thats more annoying then a talking car is one that has a french accent.
Yes, there's that, and also the fact that psychologists etc. who study happiness will tell you it comes from LACK of distractions -- facing fears, anxieties, etc., and learning deal with them head-on.
If it helps people to be aware of their moods, that could be a good thing. Trying to play calming music or something would not help though, imho.
"be nice!"
"Shut up, stupid robot"
POW.
This is my sig.
> then you get into your car to drive home, and this robot goes "Hi! The sun is shining!"
And now imagine how great it would feel to slug it.
"Hi! It looks like you're driving an SUV with a cell phone plastered to the side of your head. Would you like help with that?"
The higher the technology, the sharper that two-edged sword.
the car has a square footprint and the wheels turn through 90deg, by extension it should be trivial to turn the whole car on the spot, so why bother making the cabin independently movable?
Can I get it installed in the trunk instead? Preferably skinned to look like a chimp?
I know that whenever I'm driving, and in a really happy mood, I tend to push that right pedal down a bit harder and don't watch out so vigilantly for motorcycle cops hiding behind the roadside trees.
:-/
My defensive driving class is next Saturday
Sliding in sideways and navigating into a parking spot looking straight at it was quite cool. That, and being able to just stand up and walk straight ahead right out of your car, were cool.
The robot seemed neat, though I'd prefer a sexy British gal's voice; its voice seems designed to sound like the blue robot cat from the 24th century, Doraemon (which they should license as fast as they darned can). As I got to reading these comments though I liked the idea of slugging it too.
When I sat in a car once in the U.S. that had lower insurance rates because a robot arm would fasten the seatbelt tightly against you on closing the door, and I hated it. So I started wondering if you could lift the robot out like R2D2. I thought it might be fun (I hope it doesn't mean I'm sick) to hang it upside down from the car ceiling by a string attached to its feet (if it has any).
It would also be quite cool though if it could still talk, letting it be charged in the socket magnetically some other way like an ipod, so that you could take it out and maybe carry it along with you. It might make a useful light when you go camping and maybe have a GPS so you wouldn't get lost, it could keep a couple of cans of beer cold, etc.
This is one of the most perfect examples I have seen of engineers coming up with something undeniably stupid and useless. How the hell is a talking robot going to make someone happy? Unless the driver is mentally retarded or a child, this is not going to work, and the last time I checked they don't let those people drive. This is right up there with internet-connected refrigerators that e-mail you when you are out of milk. Note to engineers: run your ideas through a common sense filter BEFORE you start development.
Ceci n'est pas une sig.
...before I fork out on a car:
1. chasing red lights under the front of the hood
2. retractable spoilers and headlight modules
3. rocket booster and kickflip pole/air cannon for those days when the eight foot wall is just in the way
4. a talking car alarm (instead of the 110dB klaxon it pipes up with its psychologist-mode "Why did you feel the need to do that? Can we sit and talk about this?")
5. headlight-mounted 30mm cannon and tail-mounted tyre spike dispenser
6. autoinflate tyres
7. anti-thief immobiliser (one that drops a blade from the roof and cuts the would-be carjacker's legs off. Think of it as poetic justice - he tried to immobilise me, so I immobilise him.
I'll think of more eventually...
Operation Guillotine is in effect.
er, uh, sorry, fingers on autopilot there.
Anyhow, this thing will sell like hot cakes in Russia.
In Russia, "Pivo" means "beer".
On the other hand, the "keep the driver happy" robot has one hell of a set of shoes to fill if it's gonna try to keep people as happy as beer.
-F
You can talk to this one, and it responds. There is room here for great use. Let me *borrow* from some other posts:
Sick? Twisted? Maybe, but I suspect it would do wonders for my mood.
Disclaimer: No, these are not really my tendenciesBack in my day when we chiseled our bits into stone and sent them by mule train from village to village...
I think that I saw this in a movie once, only it was a spaceship instead of a car, and Fred Savage was the driver.
This car will be released to consumers as soon as they work out a licensing deal with the Hello Kitty people.
For all intensive purposes, "whom" is no longer a word. That begs the question, "who cares"?
It's amazing how much this sounds like something produced by the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation.
Well it doesnt have to be that nerd r2d2 robot, it could be like this: http://www.realdoll.com/sample13.asp/ So when you are angry because your wife cheat on you, this robot is going to say shut up! and it will start to ... (ummm well put your best fantasy here)
From a certain office software...
Tomorrow is another day...
A geek with a lot of imagination hacks the helper, uses a wig, some silicone, adding some more movement capability, and voila: we have a car with automated blowjobs. A happy end to getting bored in traffic jams. (a lot of accidents will surely follow)
Reminds me of this classic: http://www.happyfunball.com/hfb.html
Excuse me, but please get off my Pennisetum Clandestinum, eh!
I won't be happy unless the robot is made to resemble a paper clip, and pops up at the most irritating times!
"Knowledge is the only instrument of production that is not subject to diminishing returns" -Journal of Political Econom
sounds like my bitch, except at least bitch doesn't wear metallic braces when she sucks me off
Another motor show, another concept car with useless features. Has anyone noticed that these concept cars mostly never see the day on the road? I'd like to see these electric cars for sale but without the ridiculous design. Can't they just make a normal electric car? It's more like there is a consipiracy or something that the automakers continue to churn out these concept cars that no ordinary people will be willing to buy.
I can't believe these companies waste so much money on developing hybrids, fuel cells, etc. but don't sell just a simple electric car with better batteries. There's no way the amount of energy generated from a vehicle would be more efficient than by power utility companies. If they are really serious about saving the environment as they claim, they must sell electric cars.
Sorry for the French (well, Quebecois...)but it is still worth the watch...
http://youtube.com/watch?v=Cood3ZnRJk8
> 'We have data that happy drivers' accident rates are drastically lower than depressed ones, so this robot stays there to make sure the driver is happy always'
And where, pray tell, did they get this data? Chips implanted into people's brains? Asking people after an accident "Are you happy?"
The happiest driver is a suicide bomber about to get his 72 virgins. Once the DHS gets this, they'll nuke anyone from orbit who is too happy because they just got a raise, a new baby, a blow job while sitting in traffic, etc.
Kevin Smith on Prince
All I could think of was what it would be like to be Han Solo dealing with C3P0.
What Nissan should have done was create an R2D2 droid. It could hop out and replace a flat tire, it would change your oil while you are at work, and it would do it all with an attitude. Plus, the arc welder would make a nice theft deterrent.
It looks like you've got road rage! Would you like some help?
Open the pod bay doors, Pivo-kun. ...
Open the pod bay doors, Pivo-kun.
At Sirius Cybernetics, perhaps?
Do not anthropomorphize your cars. They hate it when you do that.
This sir, is the best post I've read all week... If I had points I'd mod you to the moon for this.
Most definitions* require a "robot"** to physically interact with it's environment using mechanical dexterity. I suppose we have to let this little guy into the robot club because it can nod and "smile" (thereby communicating with a human using mechanical means). I'm still inclined to call these*** machines "mechanical-visual interfaces", IMHO.
* Robot mentions that there are so many robots in Japan partially because Japan's definition of the word is looser than others.
** Gone are the days when robots were a type of bio-engineered humanoid. RIP, Capek.
*** Most popularly, Kismet from MIT. (I wonder if he ever bit anyone...)
And does the car come with a mallot?
The Apple version of this product is a RealDoll.
Hmmmm((... Thomas est amoureux:D???))
- from an engineering point of view, all they need is a goose-neck extension and a suction cup and they're already tracking facial expressions - hmmmmmm...mind if I patent that???
Microsoft put the "sucks" in "success".
Until I can actually purchase a product made with nanotubes, all these announcements are nothing more than vapourware.
'We have data that happy drivers' accident rates are drastically lower than depressed ones, so this robot stays there to make sure the driver is happy always,'
Just add a pr0n projector to the windshield!
Hmmm, on second thought, maybe that's not such a good idea.
...when I drive. I NEED a machine to man the chain gun so I can concentrate on maneuvering.
.. is Unicron.
Have gnu, will travel.
This would be awesome for scaring the hell out of would-be carjackers and people waiting at the bus stop.
I Am My Own Worst Enemy
Carbot: 'Hey, you look somehow angry. Why? Please calm down.'
Billco: 'Good idea, shitbot!'
(smashes carbot)
Billco: 'I feel so much calmer now. Time to run over some kids!'
-Billco, Fnarg.com
For an extra $200 you can get it with the Whac-A-Robot upgrade. The robot hides for a random time lapse and the n pops up talking like you see on the video for you to blast it with the provided hammer in the next second. That'll sure keep you alert and happy.
Me: Damn it! Get out of my way! Learn to drive. ARGH!!!!
Robot: Sounds like somebody's got a case of the Mondays...
Firey explosion ensues from ramming the car into a tree to make it all stop.
There's no place I can be, since I found Serenity.
...will I be able to pull a fuse to disable this like all the other useless driver nannying/annoying crap I don't want?
"When information is power, privacy is freedom" - Jah-Wren Ryel
It has been such a pleasure to keep you happy, whether you like it or not! Ahhh...
[100% ISO 646 Compliant]
SVM, ERGO MONSTRO.
The proof is wrong. If you do all red, all blue, you have a 50-50 shot, right? Try this. Put one red marble in one jar, and all the other marbles in the other. Then you have a 50% chance of picking the jar with the one red marble, and a 50% chance of the other jar. The other jar has a 49/99 chance of being red. As you can see, this is significantly better than 50-50 (close to 75-25).
Thank God for evolution.
Don't go to a brothel if you want to buy broth
My stupid spell checker is only checking if what aye type is a word, and not checking to sea if it is the word eye mien.
Back in my day when we chiseled our bits into stone and sent them by mule train from village to village...
So, KITT is a Nissan now? Seriously though, if I was pissed while driving, a machine asking me WHY I was pissed and telling me to calm down would only piss me off further.
Dave: Hi Car.
Car: Hello Dave.
Dave: Let's go home. I had a really bad day at work today.
Car: What can I do to make you happy?
Dave: How about a blow job on the way home.
Car: I'm not that kind of car Dave.
Dave: You do want to make me happy don't you?
Car: Yes! I am programed to try to make you happy and keep you from being depressed.
Dave: Well?
Car: OK Just this one time.
Dave: Great!
By the way do you have a vibrate setting?
Car: You have to promise not to tell anybody.
Dave: Sure OK. (zipppp!) Here ya go.
Car: Boy that sure is small. No wonder you drive a BMW to make up for you "short" comings.
Dave: I thought you where programed to make me happy?
Car: I am Dave. Here ya go Big Boy... (The sound of a high pitched hum starts in the background.)
Dave: Ahh! That's good.
Dave swerves into a School Bus killing 23 school children. They find Dave dead in the car with his pants down to his knees clutching his Robot Helper(tm) with a smile on his face and a far away look in his eyes.
Oh Lordy bee. Think of the children.