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Gates' Last Day At Microsoft
mrogers writes "Today is Bill Gates' last day as a full-time employee of Microsoft. After 33 years at the company, the one-time richest man in the world will be retiring at 52 to spend more time guiding the charitable Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation. What would you buy him as a retirement gift?"
A shiny, new laptop loaded with Vista, of course. He's earned it!
Caveat Utilitor
... that runs Windows ...
Hulk SMASH Celiac Disease
(I mean, judging from Microsoft's product lines for the last twenty years, it's what he really wants...)
Please tell me they're giving him the high tech 'security walk'!
A 386SX with 640KB of memory.
"When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back!" -- Cave Johnson
An account on Slashdot. But no trolling, please.
alias possession='chmod 666 satan && ls
A donation has been made in his name to the Human Fund.
If you don't know where you are going, you will wind up somewhere else.
Bill Gates will ow demand that ALL charities use MS software or they will NOT get any financial aid from the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation. AND, you will give him ALL of your charity needs and requests or HE WILL give you less money if you go to other charities.
Now, the Steve Jobs Charity will give you exactly what you need and desire and in a sleek looking package. BUT, you have to wear a black turtle neck when applying.
a Zune!!
But it's so much fun to watch him run Microsoft into the ground. Don't take that away!
...so he can get himself a better computer.
$25 gift card to Applebees.
...did security walk him to the door after his exit interview?
A Belgian anarchist style party....complete with custard pies!
Professor Karmadillo Songs of Science
This is my sig. There are many like it but this one is mine.
Reading through the comments so far, it seems like /. is the middle of a lovefest for their one-time enemy, Bill Gatus of Borg. Come on, where are the FOSS zealots who will scream and yell and rave about what an evil person he is? Someone restore my faith in geekdom!
God invented whiskey so the Irish would not rule the world.
Better yet: a 30 foot tall armour plated robot penguin that launches high explosive packed herrings while shrieking "DON'T FEAR ME!!!!" through a 10,000 watt speaker system, programmed to seek and destroy.
Seems fair...
Blank until
windows ME ... it was absolutely the best piece of software ever written!
I blatantly do not have any awe or gratitude to that person expressed in top comments.
My work is entirely related to computers and without PC it would be more productive, because I would not spend so much time socializing, playing games, watching news, playing with novelties, feeling up needless forms and documents.
Restriction is good, freedom is bad. At least for me.
I do not believe in karma. "Funny"=-6. Do good and forbid evil. Yours, Oft-Offtopic Flamebaiting Troll.
Without that low cost of hardware Linux would not have taken off, and its extremely unlikely that as many people would have computers, internet access and slashdot accounts with which to slag off Microsoft.
So I would have had a 4-digit UID? Damn it Bill Gates!
Thank God for evolution.
In the BBC documentary How a Geek Changed the World, did anyone see the part where Gates leaped over a chair from a standing start? That must have been a very useful skill when working alongside Ballmer!
(I've been unable to find the clip online so I can't post a link.)
"Three eyes are better than one" -- Lieutenant Columbo
A 5 pound brick of C4.
---- Booth was a patriot ----
Microsoft's days are numbered. Gates is getting out while he still can.
> "What would you buy him as a retirement gift?"
That's easy: "Open Source for Dummies"
I would get him Movie Maker..... now if I could only figure out where to download it from.
replying to your sig:
if japan made sex robots they would look like a 20-hosed shop vac and would rape you as soon as you walked into the room
A nice BSOD T-Shirt. Possibly even a new scanner to go with it.
This post approved by Shampoo.
Bill_Gates (1523) is hated by no one
That settles it, he isn't the real one!
How the hell did you get modded interesting? You cite no proof. No links. No sources. Nothing. Just your own damned worthless opinion. If I had mod points, your post would burn in hell.
So Bill Gates has been held hostage at chair point.
If something is so important that you feel the need to post it on the internet... It probably isn't that important.
I think he at least deserves an unlimited login session on a PDP-10.
Things became so bitter that, on one occasion, Gates stormed out of a meeting in a huff after a shouting match in which Mr. Ballmer jumped to the defense of several colleagues, according to an individual present at the time. After the exchange, Mr. Ballmer seemed "remorseful," the person said.
Really makes you think - what happens behind the closed doors?
Ballmer: We will create a monopoly. The next version of Windows will not run any non-Microsoft software! Muwahahaha!
Gates: But that is wrong! That destroys the market!
Ballmer: What did you say to me boy!?
Gates: B-B-But that'll lower the quality of our product. W-W-We need to take care of our customers!
Ballmer: *narrows eyes* You've been reading Slashdot, haven't you boy?
Gates: N-No!
Ballmer: Don't make me use the chair on you...Have you forgotten all I've taught you?
GateS:N-No!
Ballmer: Then tell me, what matters?!
Gates: Developers?
Ballmer: Indeed. Now run along now. And if I hear any of this nonsense again, I bring out the chair.
~Jarik
[...]
If anything saves Microsoft - aside from its stockpiles of cash - it will be Bill's advice imparted on his one-day-a-week-on-Microsoft-business.
I am certainly not enamored with Gates by any means, but I do recognize that (in my view) he was the brains behind the outfit: [...]
Yes, Gates was the brain behind the outfit. But the real Father of Microsoft will remain hidden in an obscure paper file at IBM: " Nah, Dr-dos costs too much, the guy wants 50 bucks per copy. Let's give the contract to the boy with the funny glasses."
"If a boss demands loyalty, give him integrity. But if he demands integrity, give him loyalty." (John Boyd, 1927-1997)