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What If They Turned Off the Internet?
theodp writes "It's the not-too-distant future. They've turned off the Internet. After the riots have settled down and the withdrawal symptoms have faded, how would you cope? Cracked.com asked readers to Photoshop what life would be like in an Internet-addicted society learning to cope without it. Better hope it never happens, or be prepared for dry-erase message boards, carrier pigeon-powered Twitter, block-long lines to get into adult video shops, door-to-door Rickrolling, Lolcats on Broadway, and $199.99 CDs."
If it gets Idle off /., it wouldn't be a complete loss.
What is this, digg? Cracked joke pages don't belong here.
Isn't this what the Mayan's prophisied for 2012?
If brevity is the soul of wit, then how does one explain Twitter?
I remember an age before the internet. It was harder to find information and other data, but it wasn't so bad. The things you did have access to you took a bit more seriously. I spent more time at the library then. And I had an extensive cassette tape collection... No Internet != no computers, so rather than DL music, I suspect I would spend more time at LAN parties, which are always fun.
Shoes for Industry. Shoes for the Dead.
http://www.southparkstudios.com/episodes/166179/
They covered basically every topic in there
Randy: And so what have we learned through this ordeal? The internet went away. It came back. But for how long, we do not know. We cannot take the internet for granted any longer. We, as a country, must stop over logging-on. We must use the internet only when we need it. It's easy for us to think we can just use up all the internet we want. But if we don't treat the internet with the RESPECT (pounds the podium with his fist)...that it deserves, it could one day be gone forever. So let us learn to live with the internet not for it. No more browsing for no apparent reason. No more mindlessly surfing on our laptops while watching television. And finally, we must learn to only use the internet for porn twice a day. Max
we'd be using our 1200bps modems connecting to the local BBS and swapping email over fido.
Hosting and Domain name coupons
I'd probably get some work done... though I'm not sure how since our data is stored in Colorado and I'm in Ohio.
"Action without philosophy is a lethal weapon; philosophy without action is worthless."
But we'd have no more lost carrier jokes, so it might balance out.
You would think so. Whole world would be filled with nerds running all around yelling LOST CARRIER, LOST CARRIER!!
Let's face it, by then the shit will have hit the fan. Mankind will have been put under its own boot, with either one of two situations occuring: Men ruled by man or man ruled by men. Neither world is acceptable to me, not like this one is a model existence either.
I'd put on my headband, boots, camo pants, and grab whatever black market guns I could find (by then guns will be outlawed so we can become more in-line with the more "progressive" nations) and maybe grenade or two. I'd light a cigarette to go with my 5 o'clock shadow, strap on a bullet belt, and teach any of the dogs responsible for this mess, including those that tried to stop me, what the inside of hell looks like, all while Foetus's Anything (Viva!) played in the background. Rule of law? I'll show you Newton's first law: my bullet will hit their heads which will cause their brains to spray out.
There's no coping in my world. Only the blood of those responsible for this mess. Everywhere.
as for forums, obligatory comic: http://theurf.com/2008/07/offline-box-forums/
What would replace the internet?
a)sneaker net
b)ip over avian carriers
c)johnny mnemonic
d)radio killed the itunes store
e)cowboy neal
f)breasts (the live nude version on a real female)
Stay sentient. Don't drink bad milk.
This may clarify a few things: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Humour
I'm always struck by my pre-Internet memories, because I have no recollection of how I learned timely, geek-related facts. I was a huge Trek fan in high school, and I knew all about conventions and movie plans and whatnot. I'm sure I got some of it from BBS's, and I must have subscribed to some 'zines, but how did I ever find those without - not just without the Internet, but without ubiquitous search?
Profit!!
Could the internet eventually be replaced with a mesh network? Maybe because I'm in student housing right now, but without the internet, we'd probably go about setting up an Ad-Hoc network in our building, then expand that to others we want to talk to (like a cantenna to the university buildings across the way). Sure, I wouldn't be able to post on Slashdot, but I could probably scrounge up enough movies to keep playing for a couple of years. Porn on the other hand, we'd have to get creative.
would cry out in terror... silently.
Except for the calls to their ISPs...
SB
It's old. The more humans I meet, the more I like my cats. At least they are honest.
Because it would never happen.
Why I'm so sure? Because there is no "they" in the Internet. Everybody can connect to his neighbors' wifi router, if needed. And the moment when no company on the planet is interested in using the now unused wires and cell phone towers, to sell services to customers, is the moment when humanity itself ceases to exist.
I don't see a point in imagining not having the Internet. And I know how it would look anyway, since I already lived when there was no such thing. I even know how life in a monastery without electricity is. Or in a hut in the middle of nowhere.
Now, that we know of the concept of a Internet, as long as there is a critical mass of humans exists, there will be such a network. :)
Any sufficiently advanced intelligence is indistinguishable from stupidity.
All it would take is one really bad Windows Update to turn off 70% of the Internet.
Question for Homeland Security: who has access to the master signing key for Windows Update? Who does the background check on those people?
More like trade DVDs, books etc. with your friends. Don't copy them, just engage in some barter for the physical DVDs/books etc. The legal way to tell the RIAA + MPAA and such to frak themselves.
Sigs are too short to say anything truly profound so read the above post instead.
Death of the Internet predicted.
MPEG at 11.
Doug Adams wrote about it ten years ago, and it still applies.
http://www.douglasadams.com/dna/19990901-00-a.html
Nouvelles de jeux et technologies en français. TC
I remember the good old days before the internet was everywhere. We had ascii and RIP graphics, door games, and FIDOnet.
If anyone needs me I'll be leveling my L.O.R.D. character.
If they turn off the internet , we will create our own version, which will be better than the previous.
Keep the marketers and all of Africa off it.
Replace flash with something less nasty.
Devise some auto-healing thing that disconnects misbehaving ( windows ) machines. No more botnets or DDOS attacks.
If we had to we could not only rebuild it but build something far better.
Right up until someone decides that "misbehaving" includes "submitting content of which we do not approve." The last thing we need is for the internet to give some powermonger the tools to easily silence dissent.
120 characters for a sig? That's bloody useless.
Actually more trouble would come from the fact that many banks are not any more set up to handle all customers mailing payment orders or standing in line in the bank.
The Tao of math: The numbers you can count are not the real numbers.
For goodness sake, don't let the Discovery Channel read this thread. There'll be weeks of interminable documentaries if they do....
My web domain.
So you're saying that an idea should rejected because of its source, regardless of the value of the idea itself?
I think the title of the Cracked article is indeed interesting: What would happen if the Internet disappeared? Many of the Slashdot commenters here are responding with insight and information. And many of the doctored photos are insightful themselves: garage sales and newspapers would regain importance, brick-and-mortar stores would regain power, and lonely people would stop meeting fabulous mates online.
Personally, I felt the need for something like the Internet when I was in high school (late 1980's in a town with 18,000 residents). I hated how hard it was to find information about local events. Or how you were limited to music played by your crappy local radio station or tiny college record shop. Magazines were gold mines of information for special interests like computers and rocketry because there were just not enough knowledgeable people locally. Mail order was as important for worldly and niche interests as much as online ordering is today.
Some commenters say that the Internet can't be uninvented. But what if it becomes subject to widespread censorship? Or pay-per-byte? Or 90% of Earth's population dies from a new plague and maintaining an open, high-speed digital network surpasses the survivors' capabilities and priorities.
Also: It's funny. Laugh.