Facebook Knows When You'll Get Dumped

Pickens writes "Cnet reports that according to a graphic making the rounds online that uses Facebook status updates to chart what time of year people are splitting up, there are three big spikes on the calendar for breakups — just after Valentine's Day, just before spring break and two weeks before Christmas. British journalist and graphic designer David McCandless, who specializes in showcasing data in visual ways, compiled the chart after scraping 10,000 Facebook status updates for the phrases 'breakup' and 'broken up.' 'Might I suggest that, immediately after Valentine's, some women might be casting men from their sight, appalled that their lovers could think of nothing more romantic than roses from the supermarket and dinner at Outback Steakhouse,' writes Chris Matyszczyk. 'Continuing with this obviously accurate analysis, perhaps it's men who do more of the dumping just before spring break, as for some —however unfairly — their main concern lies in how their girl will look on the beach.'"

Comments

I read slashdot

[masmullin]

I read slashdot... I dont have to worry about this.

Re:I read slashdot

[gandhi_2]

No joke. Wake me up when it tells me when I'll get hooked up in the first place.

Re:I read slashdot

[daid303]

Wake me up when it tells me when I'll get hooked up in the first place.

You will if you really wanted to. But what I noticed with most geeks is that they don't care. They wouldn't mind it, but don't care enough to really go for it.

Re:I read slashdot

[master0ne]

your not reading between the lines here.... if you read between the lines it says to do something REALLY romantic for a chick right AFTER V-Day or before spring break... or 2 weeks before X-Mas, and you can steal her away from that Jock asshole..... (a side note, you may consider renewing your health/life insurance as well before you do this)

Re:I read slashdot

[mini me]

Facebook knows that too.

Re:I read slashdot

[tolgyesi]

I think it is the same reason why I do not buy a lottery. Guaranteed expense/effort and small chance of success. Plus lots of mental blocks that increase the effort and further decrease the chances. It is safer to concentrate on things where one has a chance to be good at - like programming.

I know every area of activity first gives sucky failures, blows to one's self estimate, etc. Then slowly it may improve. I could not imagine what it is like to have a girlfriend until age 33. Now I have a wife (due to the internet and luck) and two kids. I cannot give recipes because of the luck part. :-)

Re:I read slashdot

[Anonymous Coward]

True enough, sir, for some definitions of "care enough", at least. Many many geeks are indeed stuck in a sort of local minimum thing where their time- and attention-consuming interests and general social ineptness prevent them from hooking up with women that would be worth dumping or short-changing said interests and enduring the pain of learning new social skills. So yeah. But no.

Re:I read slashdot

[Stregano]

Programming is easier. It is very logical. If something does not work properly, while sometimes the issue might not be clear to me, but once I know exactly what the problem is (like a bug), I can directly fix it on the spot. For a girl, if you have an issue like you love playing Halo for 4 hours a day, even if you fix that, most girls will stay mad even after the issue is fixed. With a computer, I have 100% control of what I want to happen and how it will happen.

Girls take too long

Re:I read slashdot

[clone53421]

They pretend they don’t care.

In reality it’s not much different from having severe fear of heights. I know how stupid it is, I know I’m not getting anywhere, but goddamnit I have grabbed the nearest something solid and I am not letting go.

I’m actually not scared of heights, though.

Re:I read slashdot

[Anonymous Coward]

Yeah women are great until you fall in love with them, then they become a fucking nightmare. Completely illogical, with the ability to turn any word or phrase around to whatever bogus point they're trying to argue for. They're a serious distraction to getting things done. Posting anon for obvious reasons.

Re:I read slashdot

[thePowerOfGrayskull]

I read slashdot... I dont have to worry about this.

I dunno, I just updated my status to say how I'm all broken up about it...

Re:I read slashdot

[Jurily]

You will if you really wanted to. But what I noticed with most geeks is that they don't care. They wouldn't mind it, but don't care enough to really go for it.

Meh. Computers are more predictable.

Re:I read slashdot

[Anonymous Coward]

>> Wake me up when it tells me when I'll get hooked up in the first place.

Probably just about the time you stop thinking of it as "getting hooked up".

Re:I read slashdot

[Merk42]

When they do go for it and are STILL unsuccessful, then they're just fed the line "oh it won't happen when you're looking for it..."

Re:I read slashdot

[jittles]

I think you're a bit off here. In my experience its: Girls break up with their bf's after Valentines day because they did just a terrible job at it. Guys break up with their girls right before spring break so they can mess around on vacation. Guys ALSO do the breaking up before Christmas so they don't have to A) Spend time with the GF's family and B) don't have to buy her a gift.

And no I've never broken up with someone to have a fling or to be a cheapskate.

Re:I read slashdot

[simoncpu was here]

I dunno, but the spikes matches the times when it's easy to hook up with girls... As a geek, I've always wondered about this.

Re:I read slashdot

[Skarecrow77]

ahh the "i can get her from the jock asshole if she sees my sensitive side" strategy.

Take it from someone who was "that guy" for the better part of a decade, It's doesn't work.

She's dating the jock asshole because she LIKES jock assholes. That's a point that most introverted shy nerdly types never understand. They don't understand why the girl of their affections would date such a worthless dipshit, so they do their best to be the opposite of that dipshit, never realizing that they're pushing themselves into the friend zone by consciously choosing to be the opposite of what the girl wants.

She knows what you're doing. She's not an idiot (and if she is really that dumb, why do you want her?), and she recognizes your efforts a lot more than you think she does. A lot of girls dig the jock jerks. live with it. some will grow out of it, some wont. if they are going to grow out of it, you can't hurry that up. just wait it out and stop trying so hard.

Re:I read slashdot

[kangsterizer]

true that:p

Re:I read slashdot

[mcgrew]

Oh, Valentines day, when we nerds and other single men are smug in the knowledge that we don't have to buy roses and candy. I can't help but think of the Valentine's Day I spent with Meg, the most beautiful woman I ever met. Thought I'd never see that journal be on topic! But here's one you might find actually useful (or would if it were more than a joke), A Nerd's Guide to Getting Laid

Re:I read slashdot

[Anonymous Coward]

This. I mean I know I'm a boring geek but I'm also quite intelligent, well employed, not hideous to look at and overall friendly if not exactly romantic. Not enough to make any woman chase me, but seriously when you look at all the people out there who do have a girlfriend I know I could pass the low bar of getting one. But I'm happy as I am on my own and the people that claim single people aren't really happy, they just pretend to be can go jump off a cliff. Can you get more arrogant than that really, to claim you know my thoughts better than myself? Same goes for parenthood, I mean I'm sure I could man up an be an alright dad - probably above average because I'd at least put in effort in raising them well even though I'm not sure how I'd do emotionally. It's not like you need me to populate the world though, and I can perfectly do without.

The only thing I sometimes worry about is that some day an older self will sit in a nursing home and curse me for not having gotten any grandchildren to come visit. On the other hand, I don't feel lonely now and I'm sure they'll let me waste the last decade of my life playing WoW or something, I mean maybe those who desperately feel the need then are the same that feel the need now? Maybe I'm just as happy tinkering with other things for the rest of my life. And if I'm not doing it, who else does it really hurt? The woman who was never my girlfriend and the children who were never born won't be hurt. It's just me, and a bit my parents who I know would like some grandkids but that's not nearly enough. Though if I say it, people only think it's an excuse because I couldn't get laid. Even though some seem to collect it like a fucking "achievement unlocked".

Re:I read slashdot

[interkin3tic]

and you can steal her away from that Jock asshole..... (a side note, you may consider renewing your health/life insurance as well before you do this)

For those of us who have entered the age where our more jockly peers are becoming less jockey and more pudgy, that second part still actually holds true.

Re:I read slashdot

[Quirkz]

Honestly, I think there's a much bigger factor than this one. Girls don't like to be dateless on Valentine's day. I've seen them do some pretty ridiculous things just to make sure they have a date lined up. If it's even close to that holiday and they're dating, they won't consider breaking up with their boyfriends *before* the holiday. All decisions will be put off until afterwards, when they've got 50 more weeks to hook another guy before the next Valentine's day.

This ought to be easy to determine scientifically -- in my case you'd expect to see a slight decline in breakups during the time leading up to the holiday. If it's just a "you're not romantic enough" backlash, you wouldn't expect to see that dip.

Re:I read slashdot

[nschubach]

It would be interesting to see the chart further broken down by sex. (IE: who breaks up most after V-Day? Men or Women?)

Re:I read slashdot

[mcgrew]

In my experience, it only happens when I'm not looking for it, and as often as not it surprises me so much that I blow it.

Re:I read slashdot

[cayenne8]

"Yeah women are great until you fall in love with them, then they become a fucking nightmare."

Yeah, but what are ya going to do? You need to fuck something, and they have the parts that fit best for a guy.

That being said...you have to learn how they think, and you can use it against them, or at least...to your benefit. There's lots of guys out there that have studied this...do a little googling on PUA's, and you can find a lot of info out there on how female psych works. Basically society has been brainwashing men the wrong way about a lot of things, especially how to act around and treat women. Deep down, they really DO want men to take the initiate, be the leader of the group, etc.

Not saying be a jackass, but know what it is to be a man, confident in how you act and know what YOU want. Be there to lead her. A woman doesn't respect a man she can walk all over...that I think that's what you alluding to in your statement. If you try to bend over backwards to give her everything, she'll take it....and likely will be fucking someone else on the side that is more of a bad boy, etc.

However, that being said. the timing for breakups seems bad in the article. The best time to break up with a chick, is before Valentine's day...save yourself some cash. Just get back with her before "Steak and Blow-job" day....

Re:I read slashdot

[cayenne8]

"For those of us who have entered the age where our more jockly peers are becoming less jockey and more pudgy, that second part still actually holds true."

It really isn't all THAT much (within reason) of looks, or money with the majority of women out there. It is a great deal about how you project your attitude towards yourself, life, and them. Your body language speaks loads...women really pick up on things like that. How you show your social value, that is something they pick up on. And, how you project confidence in yourself, and everything you do.

Sure, everyone like to pick on the good looking jock out there getting the good looking women. But honestly, go people watch. You will quite often see a drop dead babe, with a guy that really ain't so much in the build or looks dept. No, it isn't always money either.

Re:I read slashdot

[Monkeedude1212]

For a girl, if you have an issue like you love playing Halo for 4 hours a day, even if you fix that, most girls will stay mad even after the issue is fixed.

Your issue isn't that you love playing Halo for 4 hours a day, your issue is that you can't find a girl who loves it as much as you do, or will completely accept it because they have their own vice they spend 4 hours a day on.

Re:I read slashdot

[Monkeedude1212]

What you described sounds a lot more like dating - I've had more relationships come out of friendships that just grew naturally because we had the same interests, than I have from finding a girl I like and asking her out on a date.

I can't imagine what it is like to have not have had at least ONE girlfriend by the time you finish Post secondary.

Re:I read slashdot

[Anonymous Coward]

Girls take too long

But they are more readily available than their logical robotic sexbot replacements.

Re:I read slashdot

[Monkeedude1212]

It's the environment. They would date a girl if she would play the video games with them, if they'd play the D&D, if they'd stay up all night watching the Alien Marathon.

There is just an imbalance, there aren't as many females into that kind of stuff, and theirs and our social tendancies (or lack there of) don't really let us branch out much further than our tight group of friends.

It IS too much effort to go to a party, meet a girl a few times, ask her out on a few dates, see her more often, only to discover that its not working, give up and start all over. Many geeks COULD do that but don't see the benefit, time better spent elsewhere.

What works for them is coming across a partner who does the same things as they do.

Re:I read slashdot

[clone53421]

I've had more relationships come out of friendships

Um, that’s what normal people call the “friend zone”, and I have no idea how it seems to have worked so well for you.

Re:I read slashdot

[Slutticus]

No, his issue is that his mom stays mad even after he stops playing Halo. His post is quite clear. It cannot be interpreted any other way.

Re:I read slashdot

[Anonymous Coward]

There's a lot of truth to the asshole stereotype. Girls don't want to fuck nice, sensitive, shy guys, they want to be friends with them.

It's not actually that girls like assholes, it's that assholes have lots of traits that appeal to women - they're confident, they have their own lives, they don't give her everything they want.

I'm naturally a pretty arrogant guy, but for a long time I was embarrassed to show off and hid that about myself. I'm smart, fit, make a lot of money and I'm told that I'm reasonably good looking. However, I only starting having success with women when I realized that being arrogant about that sort of stuff is a good thing. Don't be modest.

Re:I read slashdot

[PCM2]

This is my experience also. Maybe a really bad showing on Valentine's Day will convince some women to dump you, but on the other hand, if a woman's already half made up her mind to give you your walking papers, nothing you do on Valentine's Day is really going to convince her otherwise. She still won't break up with you before the holiday, though, because that's perceived as heartless -- and just maybe because she's a little bit afraid one of her girlfriends will snap you up in the pre-Valentine's panic.

Re:I read slashdot

[cayenne8]

"I'm smart, fit, make a lot of money and I'm told that I'm reasonably good looking. However, I only starting having success with women when I realized that being arrogant about that sort of stuff is a good thing. Don't be modest."

Honestly, I was that way too for WAY too long. Then, I started to think like you, and the world started changing for me. I don't chase women anymore. I approach them, and give them a look at who I am, and what I have to offer, and they should be so lucky to hook up with me. I let them know I'm a fun guy, I enjoy life, and if they're good to me, I'll take them along for the ride.

But, I don't supplicate her...I'll happily let them pay for their own way or even buy ME stuff. I get no 'rejection' because, I really don't give a shit if they react or not, there's always another one better looking and a better person just around the corner. You never take things personally. Once you start to think this way, and get over approachment anxiety, it gets much easier in life. Once over that, going for, going out with and enjoying women gets a lot better, and actually becomes fun.

I was an AFC for too long years ago...

Re:I read slashdot

[cayenne8]

"Um, that's what normal people call the "friend zone", and I have no idea how it seems to have worked so well for you."

Yep, you want to do EVERYTHING to stay out of the friend zone, that is unless you just WANT to be friends with her, and not have sex with her or a relationship.

And hey..that's not always a bad thing. Having a girl that is good looking and a friend, can help you get laid. When you walk into a place with a good looking woman on your arm, other women notice. This gives you social value in their eyes...and puts you up as someone that has been pre-approved by some other woman, so, therefore you might be someone they too would want.

Works good with approaching groups of people mixed with men and women. Go up to meet them, sic your girl 'friend' on the guys there...that occupies and disarms them while you try to approach the women in the group you are after, etc.

Heck, if you're in a place, talking to a girl, and you can see it isn't really working...take advantage of it, grab her and tell her she's great, and that she can help you find a girl friend (maybe even say "lets find you a man")...etc. They'll do it, and often, do what I just described above with approaching a mixed group.

Re:I read slashdot

[Smauler]

Some of parent's post is bullshit, IMO... I think, however, that confidence is key (duh). Also, indecision destroys any illusion of confidence... you've got to know what you want to do.

Her : What do you want to do tonight?
You : Quite fancy going out to see a movie.
Her : Oh, I thought we could watch TV, and get a takeaway.
You : Yeah, that sounds good.

Now, this seems like an innocent enough conversation... however, you're missing something. She didn't necessarily want to watch TV and get a takeaway... no, that would be too easy. She might have wanted to go see the movie with you. You've accepted what she asked for, without any of your opinion being accounted for, and ignored the underlying messages. You'll be pissed off by not being able to do what you wanted to do, and she'll be pissed off because you'll be in a little bit of a sulk, and she wasn't thinking when she said she wanted to stay in, and wanted to go out anyway.

Her : What do you want to do tonight?
You : Quite fancy going out to see a movie.
Her : Oh, I thought we could watch TV, and get a takeaway.
You : But the new Twilight is out today!

You've made another fatal error. She knows you're either pandering to her interests, and not expressing your opinion, or actually like Twilight, and thus are not boyfriend material.

Her : What do you want to do tonight?
You : Quite fancy going out to see a movie.
Her : Oh, I thought we could watch TV, and get a takeaway.
You : Yeah, and then immediately after I've watched your (crappy television bilge that you insist on watching) interesting reality television, I'll hit a WoW raid with my friends.

Another fatal error. Never, ever, let her think that you're doing something for her benefit, which entitles you to time you'd rather spend elswhere later. Honestly, this is a common mistake.

Her : What do you want to do tonight?
You : Quite fancy going out to see a movie.
Her : Oh, I thought we could watch TV, and get a takeaway.
You : Come on hun, get up off that fat ass of yours, you lazy bitch. I mean, seriously... is your life's ambition to watch Jerry Springer 24/7?

Now, we're getting closer to decisive... however, we've gone a little overboard. When being decisive, try not to insult your partner... it may backfire.

Her : What do you want to do tonight?
You : Quite fancy going out to see a movie.
Her : Oh, I thought we could watch TV, and get a takeaway.
You : I really want to see this movie... I've booked a place at (new fancy restaurant) afterwards too.

Far from perfect, but getting there.

Re:I read slashdot

[Grishnakh]

Maybe, maybe not. Depends on the person.

I don't know what "gandhi_2" looks like, how old he (I'm assuming it's a he) is, how much money he has, or what kind of personality he has. But while it's probably true he could find someone if he really wanted to, that someone might not be someone he really wants to bother with. If he doesn't have the attributes to attract a female that's up to his standard, then he either has to lower his standards, or go without. He could be choosing to go without. Seriously, if the only kind of woman that was interested in you was a nasty, ugly fat women missing teeth with serious B.O., would you bother to go find one of those, or would you sit at home and try to find a way to be a happy single man? I'd choose the latter.

Now, you might say something like "he should work on himself then, so that he's more attractive to better-quality women". That may or may not be possible. Maybe he's cursed with extremely ugly looks, perhaps from a birth defect, or is seriously obese and it's not coming off no matter how much he exercises (there's a theory now that obesity can be caused by a virus). Maybe he has a personality that doesn't attract women; perhaps he's slightly autistic and socially retarded. There's only so much people like that can do, but women aren't really interested in guys with weird personality defects, even if it isn't their fault. Or, he might simply be old. Unless you're a millionaire, or one of the guys who somehow stays really attractive when he's 60, older men can't really attract attractive women.

In my experience (I'm 36, and luckily married), as you get older, the pool of available women dries up pretty quickly. They usually get hooked up pretty early (high school or college), and after that's it's all downhill. After about 30, the only women who are available are 1) divorced, 2) widowed (rare), 3) never married. Many of them now have kids by other men, so the older the woman, the more likely she is to have kids, which means that's a giant complication and factor for you, a prospective boyfriend and husband, to consider. It's hard enough to find a woman you really like and get along with, but now you have to get along with her kids, who could very well have a bunch of emotional issues because their father is gone or they're shared between the two.

Now, in group 1) (divorced women), there's a higher chance the woman will have emotional issues herself: she's "damaged goods". Basically, the more bad relationships a person goes through in their life (and obviously, if they ended in break-up or divorce they weren't "good relationships"), the more psychological issues that person will have, more "baggage". This is yet another obstacle to a healthy relationship. Also important is why the previous relationship(s) ended. Is she a nut or a bitch, who drove away the other men? Or does she keep picking crappy men?

Group 2) is a little better, because at least their relationship didn't end because someone was a jerk, it ended because someone unfortunately died too early. But there could still be some emotional problems there. However, premature death (like before 40 years old) is pretty rare these days in the middle class and above, so there's not many women in this group, though there's probably tons of women in the ghetto who could claim this status, but I don't think Slashdotters are typically interested in ghetto-dwelling women whose prior husbands were gang members who got killed in gang warfare.

Group 3) isn't so hot either. If a woman isn't married (or in a LTR) by the time she's 30, then why not? If she just wanted to wait, just didn't happen to find the right guy, or concentrated too much on her important work as a scientific researcher trying to find the cure for AIDS or cancer or whatever, then you may have found a really great woman. But it's much more likely that she's not married because there's something wrong with her, and she didn't even get as far as the women in group 1), and men ran from her be

Re:I read slashdot

[Smauler]

What works for them is coming across a partner who does the same things as they do.

I think this is part of the problem... just because someone does the same things as they do, doesn't mean coming across them is acceptable.

Re:I read slashdot

[Anonymous Coward]

John, is that you???!!!

Re:I read slashdot

[Grishnakh]

Since he referenced something called "Post secondary", I guess women are simply different in his country.

In my country (USA), once you're in the "friend zone", it's all over. Trying to get romantic with her will result in lines like "I think of you like my brother!".

Re:I read slashdot

[jmickle]

Stop playing world of warcraft..... you might have better lucky

Re:I read slashdot

[Anonymous Coward]

Mostly because the girl is constantly analyzing you for genetic viability. So if she's still mad about you playing games even after you quit...she's wondering why you did it in the first place. Being hypnotized by moving objects on a screen will not benefit her offspring. She may not want that trait. So she's balancing crap like that against your good traits...all the friggin' time. She is wondering if she should trade you for the guy with the chiseled abs and the emotional problem, or the guy with a comb-over and a better job. Women put more into reproduction than men,

Also, if it is about her problems, she doesn't want you to fix them. She wants you to listen. Hard thing for a man. You will listen to hours of emotional analysis rather than just going straight to the source and changing it. It's weird. Just learn to nod your head a lot and agree...even if you don't.

Women are complicated and frustrating, but they're not impossible.

Re:I read slashdot

[Labcoat Samurai]

She knows what you're doing. She's not an idiot (and if she is really that dumb, why do you want her?).

I was totally with you until then. Clearly they want her because she is hot. Duh. Her intelligence probably has nothing to do with it. This was a concept I wrestled with as a teenager. I operated under the assumption that anything I wanted so badly had to be worthy of that desire. Therefore, I projected the illusion of intelligence onto beautiful girls, and ended up surprised time and again when they would date the most idiotic jerks they could find, and generally competed with one another to make the stupidest possible decisions. Lesson I learned is that those girls are just as bad as the guys they date, only I was as blind to their faults as they were to those guys' faults.

Re:I read slashdot

[icebraining]

Mostly because the girl is constantly analyzing you for genetic viability.

That may be tough for me, who finds it almost immoral to have kids with the current world population.

Re:I read slashdot

[Anonymous Coward]

Good advice, sir. I think everybody here should read Feynman, Surely You're Joking. Once read that, I stopped buying drinks, leaving big tips, started going to strip clubs, and the women started really responding to this in way I haven't expected. Still happily married, though.

Re:I read slashdot

[Anonymous Coward]

Yesss! Someone that thinks like I do! Every loss is someone's gain...

Re:I read slashdot

[buchner.johannes]

With a computer, I have 100% control of what I want to happen and how it will happen.

Feelings are not logical, we know that. Doesn't mean we should be frustrated because they are illogical.

But isn't that the beauty of it? If you only live in your 100% controllable, understandable comfort zone, where is the mystery and the excitement?

Re:I read slashdot

[icebraining]

That may be country dependent.

In my country (Portugal) the average age for the first marriage is 30 for men, 29 for women. On the other hand, they might just be waiting more time before getting married - marriages have been losing popularity here; the rate per 1000 inhabitants dropped from 7.8 in 1990 to 3.9 last year.

Re:I read slashdot

[TheSpoom]

your not reading between the lines here.... if you read between the lines it says to do something REALLY romantic for a chick right AFTER V-Day or before spring break... or 2 weeks before X-Mas, and you can steal her away from that Jock asshole..... (a side note, you may consider renewing your health/life insurance as well before you do this)

And to anyone who takes this seriously, listen to the bitches.

Re:I read slashdot

[Anonymous Coward]

Actually in my experience most geeks (without SO's) have exactly the opposite problem. They want a bf/gf too much and come off as desperate. This in turn is a major turnoff. From what I've seen in my local gaming groups is that by the end of collage most of the geeks who don't really care that much are in long term relationships that eventually lead to marriage.

Then again my university may be an anomaly because we have a very strong gaming and geek community making it relatively easy for boy geeks and girl geeks to meet and hit it off.

Re:I read slashdot

[haruharaharu]

That's easy - some choice responses are "cool, I like roleplaying, and that's pretty kinky" (too much), "yeah, but I don't want to bend my sister over a table" (still a bit much), or "I'm more like your brother's hot friend" (better). Go on, what have you got to lose?

Re:I read slashdot

[Anonymous Coward]

But isn't that the beauty of it? If you only live in your 100% controllable, understandable comfort zone, where is the mystery and the excitement?

In the DLC for Fallout: New Vegas, or whatever the game of the year is. I'm still drooling at the progress reports on Introversion's (ironic, no?) Subversion.

I remember dating. I remember fucking. A couple of months of mystery and excitement for $60? Beats the dates out of fucking hell, beats the fucking hell out of dating! (The women I dated would agree, so it's a win/win situation. I don't bother them, they don't bother me. They've got more time to do what/whomever they want, and I can actually get some gaming in.)

Re:I read slashdot

[Anonymous Coward]

Maybe I'm just as happy tinkering with other things for the rest of my life. And if I'm not doing it, who else does it really hurt? The woman who was never my girlfriend and the children who were never born won't be hurt.

Holy shit. The time I spent tinkering on the time machine worked, and there are two of me!

Seriously dude, you're not alone. And at age 40something, it's worked so far. No regrets. He who dies with a will in place that donates the most toys to his local museum of computing, wins!

Re:I read slashdot

[Narcogen]

You will if you really wanted to. But what I noticed with most geeks is that they don't care. They wouldn't mind it, but don't care enough to really go for it.

Meh. Computers are more predictable.

Is that supposed to be a virtue?

Re:I read slashdot

[cyclomedia]

If you think you have to put up with the behaviour that you describe in order to live with a female - which can be borderline domestic abuse, do you think she'd tolerate it if you got angry about illogical crap and used tools like withholding of affection for financial gain? - then you are only encouraging them.

There are plenty of women who do not behave like that and are not divas in the slightest (to be fair the behaviour is self perpetuating through stereotyping and peer pressure, the same way us blokes aren't allowed to admit we appreciate ballet dancing, apparently). Some of these ab-normal women even like sci fi, or will given the chance to watch it. There are more of them than you think.

Re:I read slashdot

[daid303]

They pretend they don’t care.

You just think that because you do care.
I honestly didn't care at all till the age of 24. Things have changed after then, I started to care, and started to act on it. Which is (slowly) showing success.

There is also a group of men that do have success, without even caring. But this doesn't include geeks in general. And they tend to leave broken hearths behind. And there is social pressure which some people feel to get 'hooked up' forcing them to make wrong choices.

Re:I read slashdot

[clone53421]

You just think that because you do care.
I honestly didn't care at all till the age of 24. Things have changed after then, I started to care, and started to act on it.

Well, I didn’t care either for a significant time but I definitely started caring before I was 24.

Re:I read slashdot

[Anonymous Coward]

isn't that the point of breeding? so that your own offspring will overtake and eventually remove all the others from the gene pool that you deem as unfit. the irony being you need to spread your genetics in order to solve the problem you see with the world population.

if you do nothing at all then people with thoughts like yours will just die off. i respect your decision, but you are a genetic dead end. you can pick up your darwin award at the door on your way out.

Re:I read slashdot

[clone53421]

Everything.

Re:I read slashdot

[KnownIssues]

With a computer, I have 100% control of what I want to happen and how it will happen.

What kind of computer are you using?! I've used Windows, Mac, and Linux, and none of them give me 100% control of what I want to happen and how it will happen. In fact, a girlfriend would be the perfect analogy for a computer. It pretends to be simple and predictable while being completely temperamental and arbitrary. It will just "lock up" after hours of seemingly normal use, sometimes just "crashing" for no apparent reason. If I tell it I want to save something, it constantly asks me if I'm sure I want to do that. It believes it can multitask, but instead does none of the tasks well.

Re:I read slashdot

[Anonymous Coward]

Yeah women are great until you fall in love with them, then they become a fucking nightmare. Completely illogical, with the ability to turn any word or phrase around to whatever bogus point they're trying to argue for. They're a serious distraction to getting things done. Posting anon for obvious reasons.

This is your girlfriend, John! What are you trying to say? I don't appreciate you posting this sort of thing anonymously, you fucking coward. We're breaking up.

Re:I read slashdot

[clone53421]

Girls don't want to fuck nice, sensitive, shy guys, they want to be friends with them.

And (speaking as one of those guys), we want to be friends with them, too. In fact, we might almost begin to think that we could actually stand to live with them for some extended length of time. Crazy, I know.

It’s just that we can’t quite grasp the (to us, at least) mind-bogglingly stupid idea that you shouldn’t get into a relationship with someone who’s your friend. That should be the first component of a relationship!

Who do they want to marry? A stranger? An asshole? Someone they can’t stand? Their enemy? Do they want their marriage to consist of sleeping in separate beds, having a few affairs, and getting divorced? That’s what they’re setting themselves up for.

And we wonder why the divorce rate is so high...

Re:I read slashdot

[icebraining]

I don't believe my thoughts about the world population are genetically transmitted. I would have the same effect simply by adopting children and teaching them, without the drawbacks of acting against my own principles.

The Darwin awards are given to people who *accidentally* remove themselves from the gene pool, which isn't my case. I have made a very intentional decision not to reproduce. I'm afraid I'm not eligible.

Re:I read slashdot

[Anonymous Coward]

You're an idiot

Re:I read slashdot

[haruharaharu]

When they say that they think of you as a friend, that's just code for "I don't like you that way". Of course they want to be friends with their lover, but the sexual interest has to be there first. I see people who started as friends, but they were never 'friends', so to speak. I suppose if you start out as just friends and the guy doesn't go for it immediately, then the girl might start to develop feelings and go after the guy. Who knows? It's all speculation, and I just run experiments all day. I'm not inclined to get too rigorous, though - when I find the right mate, I'm inclined to stop experimenting.

What amuses me is the progression from AFC to smooth operator - basically, girls demand a certain pattern of behavior, guys learn the pattern, start getting lots of attention, and then the girls (who would've ignored said operator if he wasn't so smooth) chase the guy, while the guy notices all the attention and take full advantage. Then girls wonder why it's hard to find a good man.

Re:I read slashdot

[clone53421]

code for "I don't like you that way"

Well, obviously. But what does that mean? And what’s the difference?

they want to be friends with their lover, but the sexual interest has to be there first

I see it the other way round. Sexual interest is a moment-by-moment thing... some moments it’ll be there and some moments it won’t. Actually learning to like someone “not that way” takes a lot longer and is a lot less temperamental. They’re putting the cart before the horse. And then they wonder why things go askew.

What amuses me is the progression from AFC to smooth operator - basically, girls demand a certain pattern of behavior, guys learn the pattern, start getting lots of attention, and then the girls (who would've ignored said operator if he wasn't so smooth) chase the guy, while the guy notices all the attention and take full advantage. Then girls wonder why it's hard to find a good man.

In other words, girls only go for assholes and then wonder why they can’t stand any of their boyfriends. Yeah, that’s exactly what I was complaining about.

Re:I read slashdot

[haruharaharu]

Who's 'they? Assuming girls, you can like it or not, but good luck changing things. The sexual interest is most certainly not moment to moment - they decide you're interesting in a sexual dimension or not. Once you're in the 'not' bucket (aka friend zone), good luck getting out of it. She may not decide to pursue anything, but you have to be a potential first if you want a decent chance at sex. Whether you decide to pursue longer term stuff is a separate matter.

And yeah, girls go for confident people in general, which means assholes have an advantage, at least short term. Me, I'm finding that having fun and not worrying about specific girls attracts more girls than focusing on someone specific.

Now, some specific advice: find what makes you drool (aside from girls), be it, own it, make it work. Go to the gym, get in shape, wear clothes that look good on you and make you feel comfortable. When you see someone that interests you, approach them, talk to them, and find out what they have to offer. If that makes you nervous, talk to more girls with no particular goal in mind and get used to doing that. If she isn't interested, move on.

A good footnote to this: get good at gauging interest and nonverbal cues so you don't waste time on someone that just doesn't care. There are lots of girls out there, so don't worry so much.

Re:I read slashdot

[clone53421]

Who's 'they? Assuming girls, you can like it or not, but good luck changing things.

Well, I never said I expected “them” to change because I complained.

The sexual interest is most certainly not moment to moment - they decide you're interesting in a sexual dimension or not. Once you're in the 'not' bucket (aka friend zone), good luck getting out of it.

Interest is moment-to-moment. Disinterest is more or less permanent. Something in the middle... could go either way.

Re:I read slashdot

[Anonymous Coward]

whether people are in a relationship or not doesn't really tell much about how 'good they are at relationships' or how 'valuable' they are. a lot of people just don't want to be alone, and stick with someone even though they've turned out to be a mismatch. many people do not have the courage to change their lives, and stay in a relationship in which they are not very satisfied. in my opinion, this is 'giving up', as some people give up finding a partner. some couples break up after years. someone who had the strength to break-up a relationship and become single again, might be more valuable than ones who got stuck. my point is not that breaking up is a great achievement, but that the idea that the 'best' people are unavailable, is not really true. of course, good relationship skills should make your relationships healthier and longer, but both partners need it for it to work out.

i also wanted to respond to your first paragraph about an unlucky person's options... i think that the great majority of men's issues with finding a partner are not due their looks, but their mindset. a bad self-image or low confidence causes so many bad behaviors and atmosphere, that it would make anyone look unattractive, no matter how handsome/pretty they are. being unsure and thinking low of themselves, many people will be too afraid to even approach a woman. even if they find the courage, they will treat the woman as higher than themselves, seeking approval and be excessively nice to them. it's their attempt to be regarded as friendly and pleasant, which is great starting point, but it signals the woman that they are below her, so she will look down on them, and not find them attractive. the solution is twofold; don't look down on yourself, change your mindset. know that you are a great person, and that attractiveness is the energy that you carry. change your inside. the second thing is to make sure those changes show from the outside. you can feel great, but look like a dork if you have bad body language or present yourself in a weak fashion. don't neglect your appearance, try to convey a positive friendly, laid back and sexy energy. this is what attracts women. because most men think looks are everything, good looking men naturally feel confident, and have a good vibe. they can therefor have better success. but their cause for success is their confidence and energy, rather than their looks. they feel great because they are good looking, so they feel they don't need to go try-hard on women, like other men. if you just act as though you are good looking, you will get a much better energy and self-confidence.

i say this because i have noticed it myself. i used to be unsure about my appearance, because i look rather young compared to my age. i've always looked a few years younger than my age. this made me very unsure, and i thought girls wanted guys that look tough, and not boyish. when i entered university, i got into a more friendly environment than highschool, and felt more at ease. i then started working on my self-image, trying to get rid of these poisonous thoughts. i must admit, it took a few years before i was totally okay with my young looks. even longer to think of myself as a cool guy that girls will find interesting. but i noticed that little by little, as my mind changed, i got better reactions from girls. but the biggest change happened after i learned about seduction theories and i was able to change my attitude towards women. before, at parties, i didn't look too happy, and was looking around to see whether any girl was interested in me (hardly ever). now i'm simply having a good time, and i feel great being there with my friends, and from the corner of my eyes i can see girls looking. i have stopped trying to win women's sympathy by giving them too many compliments, being too agreeable, liking everything they do, and have it their way. it doesn't work. treating them as equals works much better. it allows me to just be relaxed and be myself, and it doesn't give them the creeps. thinking back of my younger years,

So do I...

[eln]

right after I take my girlfriend back to my place and she sees my extensive collection of hand-painted D&D figurines.

Re:So do I...

[spun]

Somewhere, out there, there is a woman who has all the same interests you do. She's a lesbian.

Re:So do I...

[dintech]

That's awesome. I like lesbians almost as much as I like D&D.

Re:So do I...

[TheThiefMaster]

Somewhere out there is a woman who loves you for who you are, regardless of the D&D figurines (or warhammer, or computers, or model railway...).

Re:So do I...

[Syberz]

right after I take my girlfriend back to my place and she sees my extensive collection of hand-painted D&D figurines.

Mine is definitely a keeper because she didn't run for the hills after seeing my collection of Queen of the Damned, Total Recall, Resident Evil 1 and 2 and X-Files movie props. She was rather keen of my Han Solo frozen in carbonite bust and thought that it was cool that it was cast using the original mold.

No, I'm not talking about my mom or a WoW clan mate. I really do have a girlfriend.

Re:So do I...

[Mongoose Disciple]

My wife is straight, attractive, shares most of my interests, and, yes, sometimes paints D&D minis.

Somebody has to win the nerd lottery, right?

Re:So do I...

[boxxertrumps]

Now, I'm going to make your silver pants, blue!

Re:So do I...

[rakuen]

There's a second girl. Unfortunately, she's already taken. Sorry bro, my bad.

Re:So do I...

[Beyond_GoodandEvil]

Somewhere out there is a woman who loves you for who you are
Yes, she's called your mother. Oh, you meant someone not related?

Re:So do I...

[Anonymous Coward]

I note you didn't mention anything about sex. Looks like you won the nerd lottery and got a nice roommate.

Re:So do I...

[TheThiefMaster]

I was actually implying that I'd found such a person, and extrapolating it to mean that anyone could. That's probably flawed.

Re:So do I...

[Nidi62]

No, I'm not talking about my mom or a WoW clan mate. I really do have a girlfriend.

My girlfriend is my WoW clan mate, you insensitive clod!

Seriously, we met playing WoW

Re:So do I...

[boxxertrumps]

The first time I had my now-girlfriend over, I dumped a load of comic in her lap, then left her alone while I took a shower.
She was still there when I got out.
This "awesome girlfriend" litmus test is 100% accurate so far. :3

Re:So do I...

[Mongoose Disciple]

Our kids would seem to provide physical evidence otherwise. :)

Re:So do I...

[HateBreeder]

Real lesbians are not "as seen on TV"..

or on the computer monitor in Slashdot's case ;)

Re:So do I...

[Anonymous Coward]

The first time I had my now-girlfriend over, I dumped a load of comic in her lap, then left her alone while I took a shower.

I'm glad you didn't take a dump in her lap and then leave her to shower whilst you read your comics.

Re:So do I...

[Anonymous Coward]

Hey, you could have adopted!

Re:So do I...

[$RANDOMLUSER]

Somewhere out there is a woman who loves you for who you are, regardless of the D&D figurines (or warhammer, or computers, or model railway...).

My mom's already married!

Re:So do I...

[tehcyder]

The first time I had my now-girlfriend over, I dumped a load of comic in her lap, then left her alone while I took a shower. She was still there when I got out.

I've never heard it called that before.

Re:So do I...

[corbettw]

Yes, it is flawed, you haven't found such a person. Trust me, all women want men to change, some are just more subtle about it than others.

Re:So do I...

[tehcyder]

No, I'm not talking about my mom or a WoW clan mate. I really do have a girlfriend

Have you ever heard the phrase "the lady doth protest too much"?

Re:So do I...

[ThatMegathronDude]

The only thing you know for sure is that they are her kids.

Re:So do I...

[ByOhTek]

I wish I could tell you how many women I know who aren't lesbians who like D&D (or, in most cases, Warhammer) minis...

Only one of them would be worth anyone's time though.

Re:So do I...

[Anonymous Coward]

Time for a paternity test? :P

Re:So do I...

[ByOhTek]

So... You're dating your mother...?

ewwww...

Re:So do I...

[Gizzmonic]

Ahhh, misogyny coupled with libertarian delusions of grandeur. A Slashdot perfect storm!

Re:So do I...

[ffreeloader]

Hey, you could have adopted!

Yes, he could have, but why? Making them yourself is much more enjoyable....

My wife had gotten her tubes tied before we got married, but we still tried to get her pregnant at least a couple of times a day for the first decade of our marriage. After that we slowed down a little.... Now, those attempts may have been fruitless endeavors and done against all logic, but they sure were enjoyable.

Re:So do I...

[nyctopterus]

Thanks Captain Obvious!

Re:So do I...

[mini me]

iPhone autocorrection error, I assume.

Re:So do I...

[SpeZek]

All men want women to change too.

The foundation of a good relationship is compromise.

Re:So do I...

[spun]

All people want their partners to change. Some are just more self aware than others.

Re:So do I...

[Late Adopter]

Well, if you're not going to date your mother then, can I?

Re:So do I...

[spun]

What you like are not lesbians, but rather, women hired to play lesbians.

Re:So do I...

[Anonymous Coward]

Having boring hobbies is part of who you are.

Re:So do I...

[Anonymous Coward]

No, I'm not talking about my mom or a WoW clan mate. I really do have a girlfriend.

My girlfriend is my WoW clan mate, you insensitive clod!

Seriously, we met playing WoW

Have you met IRL yet? If not, then she doesn't count as a girlfriend...

Re:So do I...

[spun]

It's meant to be a joke. Same interests? Well, you like women, right...

Re:So do I...

[Anonymous Coward]

But have you met anywhere else?

Re:So do I...

[Anonymous Coward]

No, trust me, there isn't.

Re:So do I...

[spun]

Compromise is utterly foreign to libertarians such as corbetww, who (judging by his sig) is a superior person and thus shouldn't have to compromise. Compromise is for the weak, the strong take what they want. Giving in to your significant other's demands is the same as giving in to the State. Personal freedom means never having to compromise and always getting your way. The whole libertarian philosophy boils down to "You aren't the boss of me, I'll do what I want!" Which tends to make them bad citizens, neighbors, and especially life partners.

Re:So do I...

[Junior J. Junior III]

Somewhere out there is a woman who loves you for who you are
Yes, she's called your mother. Oh, you meant someone not related?

Well, to be fair, your mother loves everyone, if you know what I mean. Whether they're related or not.

Re:So do I...

[ByOhTek]

LOL....

I'm deserving of a Wooosh right now...

Re:So do I...

[bckrispi]

No. Women spend effort in the relationship trying to get their man to change. Men spend their effort in the relationship to get their woman to not change.

Re:So do I...

[SpeZek]

Well, shit.

Re:So do I...

[Cwix]

Where can one hire your own "lesbians"?

I know, hookers right? I want the "As seen on TV" lesbians though.

Re:So do I...

[Anonymous Coward]

..and all it has got it's you. it works the other way around, too.

Re:So do I...

[sexconker]

Somewhere out there is a woman who loves you for who you are, regardless of the D&D figurines (or warhammer, or computers, or model railway...).

My mom's already married!

Odd. That didn't exactly stop her from greedily slurping my cock.

Re:So do I...

[BenEnglishAtHome]

And sometimes people get blindsided.

I had a good friend who explained why he divorced his first wife thusly:

When we were dating, she'd do any thing, any time. BJs while driving, stand-ups in her parents back yard, you name it. Constantly. All the time, any time I wanted it, and more. We got married. Lovely ceremony. Driving away in the limo, I leaned over to give her a kiss and grab a little something. After all, we'd never sat in the back seat of any vehicle when she wasn't instantly wriggling out of her clothes or diving for my crotch. So I reached over and leaned over and you know what she did? She pushed me back and, in a tone of complete disgust, said "You'll mess up my hair." I didn't get a single bj after that. She barely gave me an opportunity to get her pregnant. I went elsewhere for what I needed and the marriage went straight to hell.

I'll never forget that story. There are some good lessons in there.

Re:So do I...

[sexconker]

Have you ever heard the phrase "the lady doth protest too much"?

No. That's what whiffle ball gags are for.

Re:So do I...

[spun]

You can hire those, too. They just cost about five grand a day.

Re:So do I...

[Tekfactory]

I'll see your broad generalization, and raise you one anecdote.

At the point my wife met me she was sick and tired of jerks. Her whole opinion of my gamer friends is that most of them are standup guys and she'd rather me be out with them gaming, than out at club somewhere or drinking, carousing, etc.

One of my games has recently converted to Skype and Gametable, so I'm still home if she needs me. Gametable + Ventrillo saved us a couple of game nights back during the bad snow we had this winter.

Anyways she's never asked me to change.

Re:So do I...

[Anonymous Coward]

That's probably more true in cultures where it is the convention for men to do the "pursuing".

Plus most guys don't seem to care much about most things, they care much about a few things (the exceptions being the obsessive perfectionist guys).

Whereas most women seem to be bothered about all sorts of stuff...

Re:So do I...

[aquila.solo]

You'll have to wait in a bit of a queue...

Re:So do I...

[aquila.solo]

Here, you can share mine; I didn't catch it either.


Whoooosh!

Re:So do I...

[Anonymous Coward]

You bastard.

Re:So do I...

[mosb1000]

Libertarians do not believe in might makes right, everyone else does. That's why they say you need the state to take care of you, because they believe nothing else is possible. Libertarians perfer ownership to rent, and agreement to compromise. You say that makes them bad people, but I prefer an honest asshole to a dishonest good citizen.

Re:So do I...

[Gizzmonic]

That's one part of a story.

I have a friend who just got divorced as well. He says "she became a different person" and "she's crazy now" but, oddly enough, everyone else picked up the warning signs before they got married. Of course, he didn't want to hear them until she was carousing around with a guy from her work.

Never trust the person telling those kind of stories. Inevitably, they won't accept that there were flaws in their partner until the turning point. That's because they were too in love or too determined to get married, no matter what.

Re:So do I...

[GameboyRMH]

Haha awesome sig material right there.

And maybe true...It seems that about half the women on Slashdot are lesbians. Could be a fun poll, what are you:

male/straight
male/bi
male/gay
female/straight
female/bi
female/lesbian
Omnigendered Tacosexual

Re:So do I...

[spun]

Yes, but I prefer an honest good citizen. We don't want "The State" to take care of us. We are the state, and we formed it to keep assholes from getting their way. We take care of each other, because we need to band together to protect ourselves from the powerful who would exploit us. Remember, "anarchy" does not mean "no state." It means "no rulers." "No State" would be written "anocracy."

Libertarians prefer absolute property rights, where each man is the petty tyrant of his tiny domain. They love rent, it's a great source of income.

But, what is really telling in your defense of libertarianism, the point that absolutely and unequivocally proves my point, is where you say, "Libertarians prefer... agreement to compromise."

Normal people reach agreement through compromise.

Re:So do I...

[Anonymous Coward]

Dad is that you?

Re:So do I...

[Anonymous Coward]

That explans the bitch who claimed for years to love me yet treated me like a doormat at every opportunity. And talk about frigid! I suffered a mental breakdown and wish I had killed her instead. The voice in my head told me to kill her but I ignored it, blaming myself instead for the situation.

Re:So do I...

[Anonymous Coward]

GP sounds more like a classic gold digger plenty of sex upfront but just enough to get pregnant after the marriage.(Sounds like she at least wanted to get pregnant if she didn't) Am sure their were other warning signs.

Re:So do I...

[nschubach]

Does the Tacosexual come with sour cream?

Re:So do I...

[laejoh]

So if things go well he'll become a motherfucker?

Re:So do I...

[Anonymous Coward]

Me too. I have all their videos.

Re:So do I...

[operagost]

And here I'd thought that it was wedding cake that took away a woman's libido. I guess it's really a permanent allergic reaction to the wedding dress!

Re:So do I...

[operagost]

And where are my mod points now!

Re:So do I...

[cayenne8]

"All men want women to change too."

As I heard it...it went this way:

Women marry men and want to change them...

Men marry women they hope NEVER change.

Re:So do I...

[BenEnglishAtHome]

GP makes valid points but in this case, you're right. I knew the man and his 2nd wife for a long time. Both of them and the ex-wife were all together in a very successful business before he started an affair with the woman who would eventually become wife #2 and it all fell apart. I heard enough, consistently enough, over the years to understand that the first wife was definitely a classic gold-digger. She worked hard at the business but there was just nothing there emotionally.

I've often thought there was a book in there, somewhere: the sex-addicted tent revival preacher who builds a massive production company through inspired preaching and the hard work and overwhelming business acumen of his gold-digging shrew of a wife, risking it all to escape the emotional desert of his loveless marriage by bedding groupies in every town, then throwing it all away when he finds true love with his lead soprano.

Nah. Too soap-opera-ish. No one would believe it.

Re:So do I...

[Rastl]

right after I take my girlfriend back to my place and she sees my extensive collection of hand-painted D&D figurines.

Cool! You paint those yourself?

Re:So do I...

[cayenne8]

That's why I think it is best to never get married.

At worst...just live with them, it is kind of like "leasing with an option to buy".

But I don't think any woman is really worth me losing half my shit, if I happen to find a newer model I like better in the future, you know?

I mean, if you want to have kids...yeah, you need to get married. But, that's nothing I've ever really wanted...so, I see no reason to lay it on the line to legally find myself liable to lose half of everything I've worked for. OH, and even living with them...varies from state to state as to how long before they can lay claim to your stuff even without getting hitched.

Re:So do I...

[GameboyRMH]

Depends on the taco. But certain kinds definitely should.

Re:So do I...

[mcgrew]

With my luck, she probably lives in Australia (about as far from the US as you can get).

Re:So do I...

[masmullin]

its more of a FIFO stack.

Re:So do I...

[masmullin]

that would have been a lot funnier if I typed FILO like I meant :( dohh

Re:So do I...

[Anonymous Coward]

If you've gone through a sufficient number of girlfriends to have accumulated statistically significant data for that test, you may wish to re-evaluate the phenomena you think it indicates or predicts.

Re:So do I...

[masmullin]

funny... IMHO they look kinda like the mailman.

Re:So do I...

[mcgrew]

Misogyny? So when Niel Young signs "She said 'you're strange, don't change' so I let her" he's being misogynist? And where do you get the libertarian aspect, except from his sig?

Are you a feminist woman, by chance? Your comment reads as if it was written by one.

Re:So do I...

[Mongoose Disciple]

We have a mailwoman, so that'd be a pretty good trick. :)

Re:So do I...

[Anonymous Coward]

Let's see:

1. Spelling error
2. Nonsequitur
3. Missing the obvious
4. Defensiveness
5. Mysogyny
6. Stephen Hawking reference

But somehow, I still think we can do better. Come on, Slashdot!

Re:So do I...

[Anonymous Coward]

You think that's misogyny? You should probably kill yourself.

Re:So do I...

[Snodgrass]

There are some good lessons in there.

Yeah, like:

1. your friend is shallow...and a dick
2. maybe if he got to know her better as a person, instead of just a depository for his baby batter, he might have known what to expect

Re:So do I...

[fussy_radical]

Nah, She really is Fist In, First Out

Re:So do I...

[Anonymous Coward]

Love is funny like that. It smothers reason, causes Herculean acts of futility, ruins outside relationships, feels awesome in triumph and abyssal in failure. It's one of the greatest things we have.

Re:So do I...

[Fulcrum of Evil]

I know at least 5 women like that (not lesbians). One in particular is obsessed with MTG and is named after a final fantasy character. She's also gorgeous and into grindy dancing, so yeah, they're out there, they'll be into you if only you be up front with what you like and OWN it.

Re:So do I...

[Fulcrum of Evil]

sounds more like a linked list to me, with her as the root node.

Re:So do I...

[Anonymous Coward]

Yeah, pretty obvious misogyny to say that all women want their men to change while implying that men want nothing at all from their women. But I'll go ahead and fill out the suicide note because AC doesn't like what I have to say. Let me guess, you're a big "Ladder Theory" fan as well? It plays well to misogynist pussies who like to pretend their nice guys but are too scared to even try and touch a woman.

Re:So do I...

[BenEnglishAtHome]

He wasn't shallow or a dick, really. But he was (past tense; he died about a decade ago) inflicted with a ridiculous sex drive. As long as he was getting laid regularly, he was a wonderful guy. His first wife knew what drove him and used that weakness (if that's the right word) to entrap him.

Wife #2 was cut from the same cloth as him and it was a match made in Heaven. They joined a "social club" that held frequent meetings where a few dozen to a hundred people wound up packed in a house sans clothing and sans inhibitions. The two of them spent the rest of their lives banging each other and anything that came within grabbing distance. They got along great and appeared to the casual observer to be simply two cute little old people enjoying the sunset of their lives together. That's exactly what they were, despite the fact that right up to the end of their lives they spent at least a couple of nights a week diving into various masses of writhing, sweaty humanity.

Re:So do I...

[Anonymous Coward]

I was actually implying that I'd found such a person, and extrapolating it to mean that anyone could. That's probably flawed.

Extrapolating from a sample size of one? How could it possibly be flawed?!

Re:So do I...

[billius]

Mod parent up. A post from cayenne8 somewhere above extolled the values of "[learning] how [women] think" by listening to the PUA-types. After many years of being frustrated, I tried this approach. I read "The Game", started dressing a certain way, used the tips from the book and all in all tried to "alpha" myself up. To a certain extent it worked. I was actually able to talk to girls at bars and parties and get them to laugh at my jokes and succeed at getting some numbers and some casual making out only an hour or two after meeting them, but I noticed that as soon as I let the "character" I was playing slip, they would quickly become uninterested. At first this frustrated me a lot, but then I realized that this was perfectly natural since what I was doing was deceiving them. The way I was acting and presenting myself wasn't me trying to put my best foot forward (which we all do and is actually a good thing), it was me trying to convince these women that I was a completely different kind of guy. Fast forward a few months to a blind date I went on. I try my usual spiel and it seems to hold her attention, but she doesn't seem very sure of me. Then the facade slips, but this time the girl actually likes me better when I'm just being my usual, nerdy self. Fast forward to now and I have a loving, year-long relationship that isn't going anywhere because it's based on the fact that we actually, you know, like each other and have shared interests rather than her liking some persona I'm trying to adopt.

BenEnglishAtHome's story about his friend's wife might well be a similar phenomena. Just like I was pretending to be a boisterous, loud, type a, alpha male, his friend's wife could have been pretending to have a much bigger sexual appetite than she really did because she thought that all women needed to do that to attract men and when the facade came off, no one was happy. I guess what I'm trying to say is, it's a good idea to dress nicely, be interesting and generally try to be the most attractive person you can be, but that trying to play psychological tricks on women (which is, after all, what the PUAs are pretty much advocating) might work for shot term liaisons, but it will never be the foundation of a good relationship and you may find out that she's putting on just as much of a show as you are.

Re:So do I...

[Syberz]

Seriously, we met playing WoW

That's funny, a friend of mine met his wife playing Star Wars Galaxies. At least some good came out of that abomination of a game.

Re:So do I...

[Labcoat Samurai]

When we were dating, she'd do any thing, any time. BJs while driving, stand-ups in her parents back yard, you name it. Constantly. All the time, any time I wanted it, and more.

And more? What, so she raped him occasionally?

Re:So do I...

[roman_mir]

The state now is the lord and you are the serf.

Only serfs had it better, they only had to give 25% of what they earned to their lord.

In today's world, even in USA, many people are paying way North of 50% to their lord, I mean the state if you count all taxes.

It'd be nice just to be a serf, serfs still didn't get any rights, just like now but at least they paid less.

I'll keep my libertarian agenda, you can keep your Marxist one.

Re:So do I...

[Anonymous Coward]

"That's one part of a story."
[...]
"Never trust the person telling those kind of stories. Inevitably, they won't accept that there were flaws in their partner until the turning point."

Including those who are recounting about how they saw it coming, right?

How about someone pretty distanced from the relationship:

When I was in medical school, my group of guys sat behind a group of gals who we flirted with when we weren't stressed out of our minds. The group of gals would frequently get visited by members of other groups of gals from our class.

One day, a fairly hot (this is med school, most women are ridiculously hot), and recently married female medical student who was always polite but at times liked to mouth off and was a little loud, had joined our nearby gals was gabbing it up with them, talking about classes, life, general catch up stuff. She used to have beyond shoulder length long blonde hair, which a couple weeks ago, she'd gotten cut (typical short hair girl style)--nice cut, but quite a departure. When asked by someone in the gal group, "What made you decide to cut your hair? I would have thought you'd gotten it cut during gross anatomy last year if you were going to do it." (Smells tend to linger on hair, particularly corpse smells from the lab/dissection part.)

The recent married woman's rather boastful reply: (short laugh) "Long hair is a bother. I already got my man. I mean, hell, while dating and going out, we have to look good and do things to get our guy. I've got him, so I don't have bother about those things and keeping his attention to attract him. He's mine." Followed by a hesitant yet sort of weirdly cruel laugh.

Don't underestimate people's ability to "throw a switch." I should probably also point out, as fellow female medical students went, despite maybe some annoying flaws, from what I and others could tell, she was the honest, respectable sort of person and I'm talking as a person, not just as a peer (unlike many in our class who just wanted to pass the next exam).

I, like most people, also know stories that go the other way--kindly, reserved girlfriend who's great and puts out but is pretty conservative goes monogomy nympho on her man when the wedding or engagement ring goes on (and frequently the more rings, the better).

Anyways, while not a completely distanced outside observer, I wasn't friends and I didn't know her or her husband. I was sheepish, quiet, virgin in medical school. Nothing doing one way or the other in how the new marriage would go.

Just pointing out that as stories go, you always have to account for who is telling it. I've heard stories of how marriages go from divorced couples that are incredibly accurate as well despite them being the divorcees.

Re:So do I...

[spun]

I'm not a serf, and the state is not my lord. If anything, I am a customer. I can shop for my governance here, or go elsewhere. As I currently feel I am getting good value for my money, I continue to stay. If I really felt I was getting a bad bargain, I would shop around.

Re:So do I...

[roman_mir]

I shop around plenty, I have a 5 flag way of running life and business and pleasure, works so far.

Re:So do I...

[selven]

Hi, I'm a libertarian, I don't support land property rights. I think it's wrong to deny someone the right to do the harmless act of walking on some patch of land just because some guy's great grandfather planted a flag there several hundred years ago.

Did you mean "anarcho-capitalist"?

Re:So do I...

[Anonymous Coward]

We are the state, and we formed it to keep assholes from getting their way. We take care of each other, because we need to band together to protect ourselves from the powerful who would exploit us.

How's that working out for you?

Re:So do I...

[Anonymous Coward]

Compromise is where both parties lose. You need to compromise less if you understand the other party more. Don't marry your drinking buddy.

Re:So do I...

[mosb1000]

No one reaches agreement through compromise. In compromise no one gets what they want, when people agree they all get what they want. The two are basically the opposite of each other.

We don't want "The State" to take care of us. We are the state, and we formed it to keep assholes from getting their way.

You are not the state. The state is comprised of individuals, yes, but that doesn't make them one and the same. You can't take everyones opinions and average them together in an election, and say that the result represents the views of the individual. Also, in saying that "we formed it to keep assholes from getting their way." aren't you saying you want the state to take care of you? At the very least you are saying that you want them to protect you, which is the same thing to me, but you have to admit it's at least similar.

Re:So do I...

[roman_mir]

by the way, looks to me that you are not very good at observing the fact that you are getting a terrible 'bargain' at this point.

I don't know what your background is at all, what you do, etc., but saying that gov't that again, just came out with another terrible idea named 'QE2', which is clearly not the same thing as the earlier bail-outs, but instead a recognition that the market for US bonds is disappearing, so the Fed is acting as the lender of last resort to ITSELF, looks to me that instead of seeing that and recognizing that in fact you ARE getting a terrible bargain there, you are closing your eyes and ears and yelling 'Not Listening!', because if you were listening, you would have heard by now that US economy is being destroyed every day and now much faster by the US gov't, worse, the USD itself is being devalued, inflated and destroyed.

What are you getting as a 'bargain' exactly anymore?

But hey, maybe I am completely misreading this entire situation and maybe I've moved into commodities and foreign equities for no good reason.

Re:So do I...

[TheSpoom]

I still haven't seen a Hitler reference.

Re:So do I...

[Anonymous Coward]

The moral of the story: you weren't very observant, and you didn't know the person very well by your own admission. People don't change overnight unless there is a serious trauma involved.

Re:So do I...

[Anonymous Coward]

I initially read that as "librarian delusions of grandeur".

Re:So do I...

[Thomas Shaddack]

Anocracy? Does it mean "government by assholes"? It'd describe current geopolitical systems pretty accurately...

Re:So do I...

[haruharaharu]

Bullshit. Every time I try to get to know someone before seducing them, I get friend zoned. Maybe the country is just fucked, but acting like a dick and not being terribly sensitive or at all invested in the girl is a great way to make her work to get you. I don't like it, but do what works is what I say.

Re:So do I...

[Anonymous Coward]

I've never heard it called that before.

In lieu of mod points, please accept this (+6, Sidesplit) on behalf of an AC.

Re:So do I...

[spun]

Compromise means everyone agrees. It may not be exactly what everyone wanted, but this is real life, you do not always get everything you want. When you compromise, you agree to that compromise. Compromise is the only way to reach agreement if you are not already there.

I want to work with other like minded individuals for mutual benefit and protection. To do so, I have voluntarily joined a group of individuals who are already doing so. We work together, through our elected representatives, to protect each other's rights, to help those in need, and to provide mutual benefit.

If you don't like the goals of this group, or their methods, you are free to withdraw from said group, join another, start your own or become a hermit. What you DO NOT get to do is dictate to this group how we will act.

Re:So do I...

[spun]

Pretty good. I haven't seen any kings lurking about for several hundred years. The assholes are always knocking at the door, trying to exploit us, and sometimes they manage to do so for a while, but in general, I'm not a slave or a serf, and I have freedom, and rights, so, yeah, it is working better than the alternatives.

Re:So do I...

[spun]

Hi, I'm from America, and I'm guessing you are not. Here in America, "Libertarian" means ONLY anarcho-capitalist of the "absolute personal property rights" type, and nothing else. I realize that in the rest of the world the word "libertarian" simply means "anarchist" but I'm not from the rest of the world.

I'm an anarchist. It's a good, descriptive word, much better than "libertarian" Specifically, I am a social anarchist of the anarcho-syndicalist stripe. NOT a libertarian. In America, it is better to call yourself an anarchist if that is what you are, and not confuse people by calling yourself a libertarian, which basically means "selfish prick" over here.

Re:So do I...

[mosb1000]

You are the one who is dictating what I can and cant do. If you think it's fair to tell someone to leave the country of their birth just so you and your friends won't push them around, then you have no idea what it means to be fair. You are the one whose advocating might makes right, not me. Just look at what you've written here. When have I ever told you what you can and can't do? And yet you think it's fair to force compliance from me. Think about that for a moment.

Re:So do I...

[spun]

Then you aren't a serf, the state is not your lord and master, and you are engaging in serious hyperbole. Don't try to tell other people how to run their mutual benefit societies, a.k.a. "The Dread Evil State."

Re:So do I...

[spun]

Yes, I and the other owner/citizens of this country are dictating what people can and can't do with our property, aka, The United States of America. Well, not dictating so much as mutually agreeing through the decision making process of representative democracy operating in a Republican form of mutual-benefit association.

I think it is fair for you to pay the same price for the benefits that you receive as every other citizen. If you don't like the bargain, go shop for a better one. You may not like it, but you are not king and you do not get to dictate to others what we do with our property. You do not get to set the rules. You can choose not to play by the rules. You can go somewhere else and look for a more agreeable set of rules. But what you absolutely do not get to do is say, "I was born here and therefore this place is mine and you guys don't get to tell me what to do." Sorry, you were born into an ongoing society, and you can either accept the rules of that society, attempt to change the rules within societal frameworks, go outlaw, shop around for a better deal, or become a hermit. Those are your only options. Whining and throwing a fit and telling us that we don't get to tell you what to do won't have any effect. We do get to tell you what to do, that is the bargain. You stay here, and receive the benefits of staying here, and you do what we tell you. If you don't want to be told what to do, well, you must not really want to be living with other people. Living with others means being told what to do, even if that is just "No hitting biting or pinching."

Get used to it or be alone for the rest of your life, if you think society's rules are hard to handle, wait until you get into a committed relationship.

Re:So do I...

[mosb1000]

Don't you see that you're playing the same game you are accusing the libertarians of playing? If I don't like it I can just go fuck myself? Isn't that the same as a landlord demanding you pay rent? How are you justified in critisizing others for what you do yourself? Just because it's you and a bunch of other people doesn't make it anymore right. You are a hypocrite.

Re:So do I...

[spun]

I not saying go fuck yourself, I am saying, stop whining, you look foolish when you whine about imaginary things. If you don't like it, engage in politics and try to change it. OR move away. But simply whining about how unfair it is that a group of people are telling you what you can and can't do with THEIR mutually owned property is ridiculous. This is our country, fair or not, we claimed it. Now you and people like you want to own it without playing by the rules we have set up. You want to tell us our rules are unfair, and you should have the right to live here without playing by the same rules we have all agreed to.

If you believe in property rights, and freedom of association, and contract, then you have to believe in government. Because that is all government is: individuals freely associating together, claiming and managing mutual property for mutual benefit, through a contract agreed to by all participants. That is an important point: if you don't agree to the contact, you are not a member of our mutual aid society, and have no claim on our mutually held property (AKA, The United States) whether you were born here or not. It isn't being born here that gives you rights to the property here, it is agreeing to the contract that gives you those rights.

In short, my rights as a citizen, and the legitimacy of my government derive from axioms supported by libertarians: freedom of association, contract, and property rights. If you would like to claim that our government is illegitimate, you will need to show that those axioms are invalid, or that they don't apply in this case. I doubt you can do that.

Re:So do I...

[masmullin]

nice you dawg! nice.

Re:So do I...

[mosb1000]

Now you and people like you want to own it without playing by the rules we have set up.

A couple things:

First of all, I'm not a libertarian. And I wasn't whining about the rules. But you have the wrong idea about libertarians and I was hoping I could shed some light on that movement.

Second of all, I live here. You did not build the US and you don't have any special entitlement to it, no matter how many other people think the way you do. You do not own me simply because I live here, and I have not signed any special contract or agree to give my life or any part of if to you or democratic rule or whatever. And even if I had, I wouldn't keep my agreement.

I accept the government simply because I have no other choice, and how far I will let them push me is up to me. I do not owe any kind of special allegiance to it, and I will do things my own way whenever I can.

I have a natural right to be here on account of being present here and not really being able to leave. The only way you can deny me that right it to take it by force, either kill me or lock me up, or try to coerce me by some other means. That's what rules and government are all about. And yes, that's what property is all about. You can try to dress it up by putting it on a pedestal of high ideals like fairness and democracy and the common good, but at the end of the day it's really just about pushing people around and getting your way. I can't hold to that ideal.

And you, sir, are no better than any of the libertarians you love to criticize. In a lot of ways, it sounds like you push people around more than they do, really. So if you're not going to listen to what I have to say, I'm going to stop trying to reason with you. Sorry to have wasted your time.

Re:So do I...

[spun]

My entitlement to participate in the group of individuals known as the United States stems from my agreement to follow the rules. If I did not agree to follow the rules, I would not be entitled to be a member of the group, and woud likely be sent to a holding facility for people who do not follow the rules.

The problem I have with libertarians is that they do not apply the same lines of reasoning to individuals and arbitrary non governmental groups of individuals as they do to government. Governments have no property rights, in their eyes. If I am on private property and have no real way to leave, in Libertarian eyes I am as a=good as a slave to the owner, I have no rights to be there or to exist there, even if it is my only option. Libertarians then turn around and use that argument to de-legitimize government, saying, "I can't leave, therefore they can't tell me what to do." For property owners, that argument does not apply.

At least you agree that property is coercion. I guess you really aren't a libertarian. If you believe that property is held only by force and coercion, you are the antithesis of what libertarians believe in. Why are you defending them? They believe that property rights are absolute and derived from a person's self ownership. If you are stuck on my land and have no other options for survival, you are my slave and must do what I tell you, according to libertarians.

You have a childish view of rules. Rules are enforced by the threat of force, yes, but that does not make them any less legitimate. They are legitimate only because the majority agrees to them and upholds them. If you do not like the rules the majority sets, that is too bad for you. Why should you get to set the rules for the majority? That is worse. It is one person saying to many, I do not like your rules, you must my rules, for only my rules are legitimate.

Don't you get it? Saying "I don't accept your rules" is the same as saying "You must accept my rules. Specifically, the one that says you don't get to tell me what to do."

I'm guessing you are not in any long term relationships: your attitude towards agreement, rules, and compromise shows that you wouldn't be very good at it. Yours is the political philosophy of the fourth grader: "You aren't the boss of me and I get to do whatever I want."

Re:So do I...

[jrade]

Nonsense. He said he was married to her, so they have to be his too. People tell me this all the time cause my kids are darker skinned...but obviously it is a mutation.....and they look nothing like my neighbor

Re:So do I...

[mosb1000]

I am defending the libertarian viewpoint because you have attacked it unfairly. Every complaint you have against libertarianism applies also to democracy.

I do accept rules, that's why I said "I accept the government simply because I have no other choice, and how far I will let them push me is up to me. I do not owe any kind of special allegiance to it, and I will do things my own way whenever I can." But just because I have to accept them doesn't mean I have to like them. There are a lot of stupid rules out there and more are laid down every day. It's a disagreeable situation to me.

Rules are enforced by the threat of force, yes, but that does not make them any less legitimate.

Indeed, that's only reason they have any legitimacy at all. Hence, "might makes right".

You have a childish view of rules.

The difference between you and me is I don't see that as a bad thing. What is the adult view? I think following rules only because they are enforced by threat of force is intellectually honest. Seeing the way other people seem to unquestioningly accept rules disturbs me, especially since I'm pretty sure they don't really mean it.

Why should you get to set the rules for the majority? That is worse. It is one person saying to many, I do not like your rules, you must my rules, for only my rules are legitimate.

Why should the majority get to set the rules for everybody? I only want to set the rules for myself, and I'm a good guy so I wish you and everyone else would trust me that far.

Re:So do I...

[spun]

Okay, you know what? I understand and respect your point of view. I don't exactly agree with all of it, but at least I can't see any hypocrisy in it.

There are a lot of stupid rules out there. There are rules out there that I refuse to follow. I'm not trying to defend every stupid rule out there, nor am I saying that governments are always legitimate, or that our government is always right. It isn't.

The thing is, I really wish I could trust you. It's not a probability thing, most likely you are trustworthy. Most people generally are. It's the five percent who aren't. The ones who are born with no empathy and no sense of remorse. Sociopaths. There's only a one in twenty chance that you are one, but if you are, there is no way in hell I am letting you set your own rules. Sociopaths tend to have different default rules than other people, where a normal person might believe "No eating other people" a sociopath might think "No eating other people on Wednesday." or something equally weird and sick.

And the thing is, sociopaths don't go around wearing signs. We can't just make the rules for them and them alone, even though they are the only ones who really need them. If we want them to follow the rules, we have to, too.

So we are faced with a choice: follow rules we were more than likely going to follow anyway, or go it alone and be dominated by monsters. I don't suffer any illusions that I, by myself, can defend myself against all who would oppress and use me. And so, I join a society and follow it's rules, knowing that together, we can keep the fucking sociopaths at bay.

I think it is a good bargain. I can understand that others might not think so. But they do not get to tell me that I can't make that bargain because it infringes on their rights to do whatever the hell they please, sorry. Yes, it does infringe on your ability to do whatever the hell you please. That is kind of the point. Some things that some people want to do aren't very nice.

For those rules you don't like, we have ways of changing them. But claiming the whole system of governance and rules is unfair, like libertarians do, is simply childish. We want it that way, and you don't get to tell us we can't have it that way, because there are more of us and we are stronger than you. That, too, is the point. Welcome to the real world. It might not be perfectly fair, but we are at least trying to make it that way.

If you don't like the game, you don't have to play. You don't get to tell the rest of us to stop playing. That would be very hypocritical.

Re:So do I...

[mosb1000]

The problem I have with that is that sociopaths don't follow the rules. Also, they are often very good at making it look like they do follow the rules.

Take for example the entire banking industry. They'll happily take your house if you can't pay your mortgage. But what if they can't pay their bills? They get money from the government and all go out any buy brand new yachts. What's wrong with this picture? And what's worse, they did it all while following the rules!

Another example is if there's an armed intruder in your house. Supposedly the police are here to protect us, but will the go in your house to save you? Absolutely not, you are on your own. Their responsibility is filling out the paperwork afterward.

So you can't protect yourself. But the government doesn't do a lot to protect you either. In the meantime they they kill thousands overseas and incarcerate millions at home all for the low price of $2,500,000,000,000 a year. If that's the case it seems a poor bargain to me.

All this is beside the point, of course. Fairness is often in the eye of the beholder because we don't all agree on where our boundaries are. It doesn't seem fair to me that you'd want to pass a law against me when I've done nothing wrong, simply because you believe there's a 1 in 20 chance I may do something wrong. It doesn't seem fair to you that I may refuse to comply with such a law if I don't agree with it. You see, I wouldn't agree with the law even if it were effective (and I really don't think it is anyway) because I'd still think it's unfair to put people under the law if they've not done anything wrong.

Picky, picky, picky

[Anonymous Coward]

So, what did YOU do for your man this Valentines, ladies?

Give him a present he both needs and loves: FRIGGING DIRECTION.

DON'T go "if you really knew me, you'd know what I want". ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT.

OK?

ffs...

Re:Picky, picky, picky

[gstoddart]

DON'T go "if you really knew me, you'd know what I want". ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT.

Someone sounds bitter. ;-)

Re:Picky, picky, picky

[Anonymous Coward]

It's 2010. Women are supposed to be equal to men. It's your turn to take your boyfriend out, ladies. You've demanded equality. You got it. Now act like it!

Re:Picky, picky, picky

[Anonymous Coward]

My girl actually insists on paying for things for me. Because we both want to treat the other one, we just rotate who picks up the tab. It all averages out in the end, and we're both happy we can do something for the other.

Re:Picky, picky, picky

[ElectricTurtle]

Dude, seriously. Nothing bothers me like women who have a princess complex and want to be given all of the deference for none of the cost. I have no problem treating women as equals, they are equals, but with that comes opening doors for yourself, sharing bills, registering for the draft (which should happen but doesn't), competing for lifeboats and all the rest. You can't have equality and special treatment both.

Re:Picky, picky, picky

[countSudoku()]

:) Sounds like someone who does not have a taste for the Hot Chicks. The average HC needs WAY more attention and gifts than does your average Fat Chick, and that can be discouraging. Now a FC will put out on a dime, a HC must be worked before the payoff, unless she's a whore, then youse takes yours chances. Take your pick, I choose the Hot Chick, non-slutty version. I choose... wisely. Still, I've had my fair share of the FCs too. There's something to be said for a gal who'll go down on you for nothing more than good conversation, and a nice dinner.

On the topic of the article that I'll not be clicking on; do you really need a social network graph to tell you that people break up before xmas to get out of giving a gift to someone they no longer care for? Or right before summer (swimsuit look), and after the most dreaded day of all; Valentine's Day when your great gift turned out to not be so great after all? Life's a game, sometimes you win, sometimes you lose...

Re:Picky, picky, picky

[Hatta]

If your GF needs anything more than a small box of fine chocolates and a good romp in the sack, she's too high maintenance anyway.

Re:Picky, picky, picky

[m2shariy]

All people are equal, but some are more equal then others

Re:Picky, picky, picky

[tehcyder]

And another nerd hits the day-after-Valentine's barrier.

Re:Picky, picky, picky

[Shikaku]

registering for the draft (which should happen but doesn't)

There's actually a very simple reason why women cannot register for the draft that's not sexist at all: population.

Re:Picky, picky, picky

[Defenestrar]

As the gentleman said to the feminist: "I didn't open the door for you because you're a woman. I opened the door for you because I am a man."

Re:Picky, picky, picky

[thePowerOfGrayskull]

I'll play devil's advocate here. If you don't know what she wants, you're probably not paying enough attention. I've found that when a woman reacts that way (or its various flavors), looking back generally shows that she did give the answer - in many ways, over a long period of time. If you're not paying attention to her, you'll miss it -- the "you don't know me" blow-up is the last step of a chain reaction, not the first sign of a problem.

Re:Picky, picky, picky

[thePowerOfGrayskull]

Dude, seriously. Nothing bothers me like women who have a princess complex and want to be given all of the deference for none of the cost. I have no problem treating women as equals, they are equals, but with that comes opening doors for yourself, sharing bills, registering for the draft (which should happen but doesn't), competing for lifeboats and all the rest. You can't have equality and special treatment both.

Yep, that's as annoying to us as men who can't tell that all women don't have the same preferences must be to them ;)

Re:Picky, picky, picky

[ElectricTurtle]

Some people may be desperate enough to live a pandering life just so they can get laid, but I have never compromised myself in that way. As for you and your ilk...

Re:Picky, picky, picky

[Anonymous Coward]

Holy shit, that line is GOLD! Mental noting THAT sucker!

Re:Picky, picky, picky

[ElectricTurtle]

And that's reducing people to numbers and function rather than treating them as social equals. Sure, if you want to think of women as nothing more than breeders for future generations and temporary stand-ins for a male workforce at war, than yes, you're right, a female draft is a bad idea, as is competition for lifeboats and that sort of thing. That's the point. True social equality ignores roles that would otherwise be assigned by gender alone. (Not to mention no nation would ever draft its entire population, even all males of age weren't drafted in the US in WWII, just most of them.)

Re:Picky, picky, picky

[radtea]

There's actually a very simple reason why women cannot register for the draft that's not sexist at all: population.

This makes no sense on many levels. Women's population is the same as men's... or did you mean something else?

You certainly couldn't mean anything to do with population growth being limited by women's reproductive capacity, as modern nations are so far below that limit you could easily kill half the female population and still have no problem maintaining population growth at current levels.

The number of women available for breeding isn't even close to the limiting factor. Just encourage each surviving woman to have twice as many kids and you're good to go, and the average fecundity would still be far below the human historical norm.

Athough in fact I've heard self-proclaimed "feminists" argue that American women born in the 50's were at a disadvantage (compared to whom, one wonders) as 60,000 men were killed in Vietnam, taking them out of the marriage pool. In a society that practices social monogamy taking men out of the gene pool is just as bad as taking women out.

So your single word "argument" is incoherent and any attempt to make it coherent is obviously wrong.

But do please keep on with your sexist and stupid beliefs, whatever they are!

Re:Picky, picky, picky

[aquila.solo]

Indeed. Well said.

Re:Picky, picky, picky

[Nyeerrmm]

Is it that hard? Really? It just takes a bit of attention:

- When you're out shopping with her watch the things she picks up and looks at, but doesn't decide to get -- sometimes those are the kinds of ridiculous fun things that she would love but wouldn't buy for herself, a perfect gift.
- Listen to things she says she'd like to do. A massage gift certificate or getting her old clarinet (that used to be her mothers) restored are two things that stand out for my particular situation.
- When out shopping by yourself, online or in a store, if something makes you think "hey, she would love this." then THATS A GOOD GIFT IDEA.

Quite frankly, the best gifts are going to be the ones she wouldn't think to ask for. I'm not the most observant person -- in fact, I'm pretty damned absent-minded -- but my trouble with gifts is that I'm bad about getting it and giving it to her now rather than waiting till the "appropriate" times. Ideas are easy to come by with just a bit of effort.

Re:Picky, picky, picky

[CAIMLAS]

Think of it as New Car vs. Used Car.

Sure, with a new car, your initial investment is huge. But once you've bit the bullet, you haven't got to do jack shit to keep it - just make the regular payments. Then, when the mileage gets up there or some asshole hits it in a parking lot, you can turn around and sell it.

The used car, on the other hand, costs less to begin with, but then you start having irksome maintenance costs almost right away: muffler, shocks, struts, and so on. You might not have your maintenance fee, but you might very well end up paying more in the long run.

Also: assholes finish first. You drive a hard bargain with the new car salesman, you get a significant discount and some 'free' features.

(I suspect a non-trivial number of the people breaking up after V-day are the guys who are sick and tired of putting up with the drama.)

Re:Picky, picky, picky

[kangsterizer]

you dont have to be equal in everything.
you may open the door and she may bring u a beer. that's a bit of a cliché but you know, it means you can do nice things and she can do nice things which are not necessarily the exact same thing. I hope that wasnt too confusing.

Re:Picky, picky, picky

[Fractal Dice]

I have come to suspect that Intuition is the peacock's tail of humanity, that it is an elemental part of our biology to constantly test a potential mate's intellect/attentiveness with a random guessing game with sufficiently cryptic clues. Asking for direction is essentially admitting failure - the solution is not to avoid the game, but to ritualize it in a way that feels satisfying to both parties.

Re:Picky, picky, picky

[Shikaku]

Women have babies.

Yes my statement was purposefully loaded, but that is exactly the reason cited by the writers of the constitution. It's not sexist at all to make a statement that females make babies, because it's a fact of being a female to begin with. You can argue about it being "sexist and stupid beliefs," but you can't avoid nor try to name call out of saying it's sexist out of the fact that women bear children is a fact.

Oh, by the way, name calling only makes you look like a fool. I completely oppose the draft to begin with.

Re:Picky, picky, picky

[ElectricTurtle]

There is a transition between social expectations and interpersonal expectations. After you know somebody long enough you are able to treat them as individuals based on a deeper understanding of their nature and what they want or don't want. Social expectations are more about stereotypes and the 'default' treatment of or position taken toward a person whom you don't know or barely know. I don't model relationships with strangers after the relationship with my wife and vice versa. Neither would be a good idea.

Re:Picky, picky, picky

[johnny cashed]

In a society that practices social monogamy taking men out of the gene pool is just as bad as taking women out.

"It a society that pretends to practice social monogamy taking men out of the gene pool really isn't that bad as taking women out" There, fixed that for you. And countered your argument.

Re:Picky, picky, picky

[radtea]

There, fixed that for you. And countered your argument.

Nope. We DO practice "social monogamy", which is the pretense of one woman mating with one man for the nominal purpose of making babies and raising children.

We do not practice sexual monogamy, but so what? Social monogamy is what matters to the argument: women who have kids are mostly socially mated, and there are data to suggest that a decrease in available males will decrease the overall reproduction rate (and economic well-being) of their female peers.

Re:Picky, picky, picky

[radtea]

Women have babies.

This is true, and it is not sexist.

"Women have babies, therefore they should not be drafted" is false, and sexist, and stupid. It is stupid because it isn't an argument, yet you clearly intended it to be one.

You have still not made any argument as to why the draft should ever be differentially applied with regard to sex. Personally, I'm against the draft as such, but I would be even more opposed to a draft that targeted only men rather than everyone equally.

Re:Picky, picky, picky

[Anonymous Coward]

Kinda stupid considering you still need males in order to replicate.

Re:Picky, picky, picky

[nschubach]

Did you even read the post or just the beginning and end?

Re:Picky, picky, picky

[Doctor Faustus]

How about "because I am polite"? I open doors for everyone.

Re:Picky, picky, picky

[Anonymous Coward]

Actually, I wonder how many of the breaks where due to women already having given up on the relationship but not wanting to be alone for valentines day. In which case it wouldn't matter what you did for valentines.

Re:Picky, picky, picky

[nschubach]

Why does she need anything? The one part that always bugs me about holidays is the "need" for gifts. I don't need a gift to know I'm appreciated, cared about, or even loved... why do other people? Heck, I'm going home for Christmas even though I don't believe in the whole religious aspect of it. That should be enough to know that I appreciate being around them. When I stop coming around is when I stop caring about you.

Re:Picky, picky, picky

[gknoy]

Not bitter, just a realist about how clueless some men (myself included) can be. My wife calls me Captain Oblivious sometimes, and it's true. Many times, we don't need clues -- because we don't notice them, don't interpret them correctly, or don't realize that it was a clue. Rather, we need clue-by-four sized nuggets of direction. I cannot put into words how happy it made me when my wife told me, "You bought me a new set of yoga pants for Valentine's day, because you're awesome and I know you like how I look in them." Not only did I know that gifting was taken care of, I knew that it was something she really wanted.

I say "some men" but it applies for women, too. If you never tell her that you'd like a new blue-ray player, or jigsaw, or han solo in carbonite bust, or calligraphy pens, she may not know. She might buy something that you will like, but which you might not like as much as that thing you really were hoping for. (Conversely, you could could be like me, and have so few things on a wishlist that you can't figure out what your in-laws can get you. Doh.)

Re:Picky, picky, picky

[gknoy]

Using the "women make babies" argument to keep them out of the draft is a survival tactic, to an extent. Or, I should say, those using the argument believe it is. The logic goes like this:

In a time of a draft, national survival is potentially at stake. One man can father many babies at once, but one woman can only have one at once, so your society can rebuild its population (after the war is over) more easily if there are more women than men. If you lose both men and women at similar rates in wartime, your subsequent population growth will be substantially less.

Now, granted, our monogamous social mores means that an N:1 ratio of women to men is less likely to be fully exploited, but at least the potential is there. Losing 80% of the male population and 20% of the female is less devastating than losing 50% of each, if your goal is rebuilding population. (Of course, you'd then have a generational lag before you had more men, so who knows which is truly better.)

Then there's the perspective of many in the military which feel that women are less valuable as infantry than men are due to biological differences. I have no idea how true that conclusion is.

Re:Picky, picky, picky

[gknoy]

Different people get the "I feel loved" feeling from different things. Some people respond well to being given gifts. (It's big in my wife's family. I could honestly get by just fine if I got a $50 gift card (total), or permission to waste money on video games, and skip the candy/toothpaste/candy/pens/ties. I mean, I appreciate the gifts, but I already feel loved even without them.) Some people feel loved when you Do Things For Them, others feel loved when you simply spend time with them. Some feel most loved when you touch them. None of these things are BAD (or make us feel less loved), but I know all of us can think of someone that would rather spend a holiday cuddling on the sofa or in bed rather than getting a new car or going on a skiing trip. I know people who love getting things, and like to do stuff themselves, while others don't want more stuff but would love to have you come and visit, even if all you do is sit around and play Scrabble.

Sadly I can't remember what book it was in that I read this, but at the time it was tremendously informative as to why my mom and I generally are perfectly happy to send each other money, or even skip that entirely, whereas my in-laws are all "CHRISTMAAAAAS!"

Think carefully about what it is that makes you feel most loved, what you wish your significant other could do to make you happiest at any given time. If your girlfriend, boyfriend, wife, or lover doesn't know what it is, you'll probably be happier if you talk with them frankly about it. Things like, "Yeah, an Xbox would be neat, but I'd rather have sex", or "you don't need to buy me chocolate or jewelery, I'd rather see a spotless kitchen counter every morning". Find out also what your significant lover most appreciates, and find a way to deliver that when you want them to feel loved.

Re:Picky, picky, picky

[masmullin]

My imaginary gf doesn't even give me clues :( She just acts all pissed off and is never in the same room as me.

Re:Picky, picky, picky

[masmullin]

i hate you.

Re:Picky, picky, picky

[fermion]

Honestly, if a relationship lives and dies for St. Valentines day it is a pretty worthless relationship anyway. Valentines day is a good excuse for love and creating a lovin' environment and lovin' people one would not normally love, but anyone who would break up based on insufficient evidence on love on that single day is probably not anyone but the most shallow people would date.

It is much more likely that people break up immediately after valentines day because it would be pretty silly to break up immediately before Valentines day. For adults in a very friendly relationship, to be stereotypical, it might mean a chance, maybe the only chance, at sex. If nothing else the social stigma of being alone on valentines would make many tolerate even the most offensive partner. To be even more mercenary, who are you going to get to go out with the week before valentines? Only the most dispicable people, while after valentines the market it wide open.

The other days are less obvious. For adults I can imagine a someone taking a partner to meet the parents on thanksgiving, and that going horribly wrong.

Spring break is mostly for college kids, but a theory works for christmas as well. One have a partner at school, and one is off for a month. Does one go home to an old partner, or stay with someone you are not going to see for a while, and maybe lose interest in a month. Spring break is the same thing. Who is going to forgo companionship for a week, especially those that are so love crazy that they will update thier facebook page every time a relationship changes.

Which is another clarification in the headlines. People who want the world to know that they are dating only break up a times when it is appropriate.

Re:Picky, picky, picky

[Anonymous Coward]

Dude, seriously. Nothing bothers me like women who have a princess complex and want to be given all of the deference for none of the cost. I have no problem treating women as equals, they are equals, but with that comes opening doors for yourself, sharing bills, registering for the draft (which should happen but doesn't), competing for lifeboats and all the rest. You can't have equality and special treatment both.

I agree completely with this sentiment.

At some point I realized, however, that people are inherently contradictory sometimes and if I want to be in a relationship, I just have to step back and let them figure it out on their own. Pointing out what's true and obvious often backfires--at least, after a point. They're just trying to have their cake and eat it too.

Either that or find someone else (happily, I managed to do this).

Re:Picky, picky, picky

[Anonymous Coward]

Ok, I'd like to explain something to you that you already know, but probably just haven't considered the implications of yet.
For a man to reproduce it takes one burst of semen.
For a woman to reproduce it takes about nine months and a lot of hardship and nutrients.
Therefore, while a man can quickly fertilize several women, those women all need special considerations for a long amount of time(especially considering the ~10 sec it takes for a man to make his contribution).

Re:Picky, picky, picky

[werepants]

Actually, some of us get to a point of just being frank with one another. I've come to understand that my wife doesn't really care what we do, she just wants to be surprised. I can respect that. My wife has come to learn that I don't like being surprised, and would rather pick something that sounds fun for me. We've both learned that we would both rather have gifts that we like, rather than take random guesses and waste money on crap that we're going to get rid of. All it takes is talking to one another. Although, maybe, I got lucky when I picked mine.

Re:Picky, picky, picky

[Smauler]

Losing 80% of the male population and 20% of the female is less devastating than losing 50% of each

The point was that population growth is not a problem right now. There have never been any drafts which would significantly affect population growth. Your percentage examples, and conclusion, may be valid if there was _ever_ a war which hit populations that hard.

Re:Picky, picky, picky

[crono_deus]

Sadly I can't remember what book it was in that I read this

The book is called The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, and it's an excellent read.

Briefly, for the interested Slashdotter, he outlines five different ways people try to communicate affection -- words of affirmation, quality time, gift-giving, acts of servitude, and physical contact -- and then says that not "speaking" your partner's love language can cause a whole lot of strife because not only can you not communicate your affection, you can't understand when they're communicating theirs.

Thanks for mentioning it.

Re:Picky, picky, picky

[gknoy]

Thanks for giving the link to the book. =)

Re:Picky, picky, picky

[Chaindog]

If you pay even the slightest attention you will know what they want. Trick is to remember what the hell she wanted

Re:Picky, picky, picky

[Anonymous Coward]

How about "because I am polite"? I open doors for everyone.

Half-a-whoosh. The OP was trying the point across, but you're OK in your confusion because he didn't get the quote right.

The original (and canonical) version is "I didn't hold the door open for you because I thought you were a lady. I held it open because I'm a gentleman." (Using the right words here, and putting the emphasis on the right words, is important.)

Gentlemen hold the door open for whomever's behind them because it's a dick move to slam the door in anyone's face. And (and this particularly galling to a woman looking for a reason to take offence at any man who tries to treat her well) gentlemen don't think of women as "ladies".

She can either feel bad that an old fuddy-duddy (who didn't know any better, but who meant well) regards her as unworthy of the (obsolete, but generally positive) title of "lady", or that some chauvinist pig didn't think she was as hot as she thought she was, because he held the door open for her just as he would have for any dude.

Either way, the gentleman wins the rhetorical battle. (And seeing as how we're all nerds here, isn't that the best kind of winning? :)

Re:Picky, picky, picky

[Joe Jay Bee]

considering the ~10 sec it takes for a man to make his contribution

Hey, speak for yourself.

Re:Picky, picky, picky

[haruharaharu]

ooh, she's like a real GF, only cheaper.

Could that possibly be any more misleading?

[clone53421]

Facebook doesn’t “know” when I’ll get dumped. Aggregated data, which happened to be obtained from facebook, revealed that the average person is more likely to get dumped at certain times of the year, but that’s useless when making a prediction for an individual.

Besides which, I’d need a girlfriend first.

Re:Could that possibly be any more misleading?

[gstoddart]

Facebook doesn’t “know” when I’ll get dumped

Oh, sure they do.

Jane heard it from Wanda who read it on Judy's Facebook page that according to Robert who spoke with Susie, you're SO getting dumped this weekend. Totally.

Re:Could that possibly be any more misleading?

[sakdoctor]

Has anyone made a bot that "plays" facebook yet?
I bet a bot could be very socially successful on facebook, given the depth of the interaction. We could approach machine intelligence by lowering the standard for the Turing test.

Re:Could that possibly be any more misleading?

[Anonymous Coward]

Even the aggregated data merely confirms well and easily understood phenomenon, esp. among Facebook's demographic (callow youth).

Better headline: "Facebook users are mundane."

Re:Could that possibly be any more misleading?

[MayorOfTuesday]

Despite their success in predicting long term change in human populations, the laws of psychohistory are notoriously ineffective when applied to the individual.

Re:Could that possibly be any more misleading?

[cupantae]

I think it wouldn't be too difficult to do one for /. either. All it would have to do is post immediately after the article hits the front page, and say:

"The analysis here is hugely flawed. Sure, they say [something from the summary], but clearly haven't taken into account [something taken into account halfway through the article], so it can hardly be confirmed that [title]."

That's a Score:5, Insightful comment right there.

Re:Could that possibly be any more misleading?

[BrokenHalo]

Right. So unlike the submission's claim that "Continuing with this obviously accurate analysis, perhaps it's men who do more of the dumping just before spring break, as for some--however unfairly--their main concern lies in how their girl will look on the beach", in fact their ladies have realised that the guys are immature douchebags and flushed them. Sounds fair enough to me, but then I've been married for over 20 years.

Re:Could that possibly be any more misleading?

[Tackhead]

Facebook doesn't "know" when I'll get dumped

Oh, sure they do.

Jane heard it from Wanda who read it on Judy's Facebook page that according to Robert who spoke with Susie, you're SO getting dumped this weekend. Totally.

...who saw the original poster pass out 31 Flavors last night! I guess it's pretty serious.

Actually, it's not even that complicated. I'm not sure whether adding in third- and fourth-order effects would increase accuracy or just muddy the waters, so let's take the simplest possible option: our old friends Alice, Bob, and Charlie.

Suppose we start with Alice and Bob, who are presumed to be in a relationship with each other by virtue of frequent affectionate (as defined by keywords/scoring) communications with each other (both public and "private"). (e.g. "Alice u were so hot last nite!" "Luv u BOB"!)

Then, observe a slight dropoff in affectionately-loaded keywords in the communications between Alice and Bob, and a spike in communications between Alice and Charlie. Furthermore, observe that Alice and Charlie's communications patterns have gone from "all/mostly in public, no/few affectionate keywords" to "no/minimal change in public communications, but a spike in 'private' communications".

Furthermore, weight the language and tone in Alice and Charlie's public and private communications separately: If she's saying "'sup charlie" in public, and "OMG so good to see u again missed u so much" in private, the difference between the emotional tone of the Alice/Charlie public conversation and the Alice/Charlie private conversation is yet another big red flag.

Facebook knows damn well when someone's about to get dumped. It's just not telling. (Unless it wants to monetize it by feeding Bob more ads for dating services the week before Valentine's Day, and Alice and Charlie start getting ads for restaurant reservations.)

Re:Could that possibly be any more misleading?

[websitebroke]

Don't forget the "First Post!"

Re:Could that possibly be any more misleading?

[Capt James McCarthy]

Besides which, I’d need a girlfriend first.

You sir, have just hurt your hands feelings.

Re:Could that possibly be any more misleading?

[gstoddart]

That's a stunningly deep analysis of information sharing/leakage between two parties as inferred by an outside observer in response to a joke about my perception of Facebook being more or less the functional equivalent of the high-school rumor game.

Bravo, sir. :-P

Re:Could that possibly be any more misleading?

[countSudoku()]

We have those already, they are called "bored sys admins." I think he was referring to a bot that poses as a facebook user; collecting friends, pretending to stay in touch, ignoring some posts, posting some nonsense and anti-facebook messages... oh wait, that's me again. Sorry! Sorry for the extra post and all. Terribly sorry. Won't happen again!

Re:Could that possibly be any more misleading?

[Anonymous Coward]

isn't it more likely that girls think it'd be cruel to break up with you right before Valentine's? I've known to put off breaking up with a girl for months because each moment seems unnecessarily harsh. First they get chastised at work, then they lose their job, then it's Thanksgiving, then their birthday, then Xmas, then a billion other holiday- etc, etc..

I know it seems wrong, but there never really seems to be a good time that's not overly cruel. Valentine's is simply the end of the holiday season.

Re:Could that possibly be any more misleading?

[Anonymous Coward]

...and the "Correlation is not causation", which is thrown out with depressing frequency.

Re:Could that possibly be any more misleading?

[tehcyder]

You insensitive clod!

Signed, Hari Sheldon.

Re:Could that possibly be any more misleading?

[clone53421]

No, I don’t think so. If my hand had a problem, it’d tell me. Unlike a girlfriend.

Re:Could that possibly be any more misleading?

[JonahsDad]

Rather than "how their girl will look on the beach", I really thought it was more of "I don't want by SO to get in the way of my spring break fling(s)."

Re:Could that possibly be any more misleading?

[elfprince13]

Actually, that could be an interesting success heuristic to train a chat bot against: what sort of behavior maximizes replies to your own comments while minimizing losses from your friends list.

Re:Could that possibly be any more misleading?

[Amouth]

yea but with a sig like that - no one would believe it.

Re:Could that possibly be any more misleading?

[Anonymous Coward]

"Lowering?" Methinks you meant "dropping".

Re:Could that possibly be any more misleading?

[Anonymous Coward]

That's a stunningly deep analysis of information sharing/leakage between two parties as inferred by an outside observer in response to a joke about my perception of Facebook being more or less the functional equivalent of the high-school rumor game.

And that's why intelligence agencies, stock traders, and other people who speak of "chatter" love social networking.

Re:Could that possibly be any more misleading?

[ctetc007]

Has anyone made a bot that "plays" facebook yet? I bet a bot could be very socially successful on facebook, given the depth of the interaction. We could approach machine intelligence by lowering the standard for the Turing test.

How about Suzette ?

Re:Could that possibly be any more misleading?

[Anonymous Coward]

Unless you had leprosy... apparently having a girlfriend is a bit like having leprosy. I admit, I hadn't really thought of it that way before.

Re:Could that possibly be any more misleading?

[aquila.solo]

Isn't that basically what the "Corepirate Illuminati Nazi" poster does? (Speaking of which, I haven't seen them in a while. It's been a nice break) It's kinda interesting the way they try to connect their incoherent rant with the topic of the article. It's tricked me a couple times, at least until I get to that signature phrase above.

Re:Could that possibly be any more misleading?

[http]

On average, people have been lowering the standard for the Turing test all my life.

Re:Could that possibly be any more misleading?

[sabt-pestnu]

> We could approach machine intelligence by lowering the standard for the Turing test.

That's one of only three options...
1) lower the standards
2) improve the machine intelligence

or 3) lower the human intelligence

Electrolytes ARE what plants crave, right? Here, let me get that program from right off the shelf here...

Re:Could that possibly be any more misleading?

[sorak]

Facebook doesn’t “know” when I’ll get dumped. Aggregated data, which happened to be obtained from facebook, revealed that the average person is more likely to get dumped at certain times of the year, but that’s useless when making a prediction for an individual.

Agreed. That is like looking at a correlation between high-fat diets and heart disease and writing the headline "McDonald's Knows When You'll Have a Heart Attack"

Re:Could that possibly be any more misleading?

[sorak]

I knew when my ex created an event called "fuck off" and invited me to it.

Re:Could that possibly be any more misleading?

[Quirkz]

This is the far more logical conclusion.

Re:Could that possibly be any more misleading?

[gstoddart]

This is the far more logical conclusion.

The other logical conclusion being that the amount of sweaty, nasty sex they'll be having with a college co-ed while on spring break is, in all likelihood, vastly overestimated.

They'll get loaded with their buddies, see some girl flash her boobs, and that's about it. Then they'll get home and realize they dumped their girlfriends for nothing.

Re:Could that possibly be any more misleading?

[masmullin]

its right AFTER Valentines. they want their gift before they crush your heart.

Re:Could that possibly be any more misleading?

[Anonymous Coward]

Or they know because they change relationship status on facebook to "single."

Re:Could that possibly be any more misleading?

[ebuck]

I think it wouldn't be too difficult to do one for /. either. All it would have to do is post immediately after the article hits the front page, and say:

"The analysis here is hugely flawed. Sure, they say [something from the summary], but clearly haven't taken into account [something taken into account halfway through the article], so it can hardly be confirmed that [title]."

That's a Score:5, Insightful comment right there.

Eliza, is that you?

Re:Could that possibly be any more misleading?

[Anonymous Coward]

so was it really kinky and she invited some of her girl friends with?

Re:Could that possibly be any more misleading?

[rockNme2349]

I think it wouldn't be too difficult to do one for /. either. All it would have to do is post immediately after the article hits the front page, and say:

"The analysis here is hugely flawed. Sure, they say [something from the summary], but clearly haven't taken into account [something taken into account halfway through the article], so it can hardly be confirmed that [title]."

That's a Score:5, Insightful comment right there.

You left out the critical, "I know I'll get modded down for this, but..."

Re:Could that possibly be any more misleading?

[LordLucless]

Or it could mean Alice and Bob moved in together, no longer have to communicate via Facebook, and Charlie is Alice's ex-neighbour/housemate who she likes to keep in touch with. Starting with the conclusion, and reviewing data in hindsight for cues is easy. Doing to forward is tricky, because those cues could have multiple meanings.

Re:Could that possibly be any more misleading?

[Anonymous Coward]

So going this route may mean that I am getting all these adds about strange tools extending body parts because FB thinks that my penis is too short?

Re:Could that possibly be any more misleading?

[Anonymous Coward]

Or it could mean Alice and Bob moved in together, no longer have to communicate via Facebook, and Charlie is Alice's ex-neighbour/housemate who she likes to keep in touch with. Starting with the conclusion, and reviewing data in hindsight for cues is easy. Doing to forward is tricky, because those cues could have multiple meanings.

Data mining isn't law. There's no "innocent until proven guilty".

There's only "people who fit profile X are statistically more probable to proceed to behavior Y."

OP was making a hypothesis about a profile, X, that could predict behavior Y. Given FB's dataset, one could start with an arbitrary 100 cases of behavior Y (manually detected by having humans pore over 10000 random logs), and derive all sorts of profiles for "X", and then selectively winnow them out (for each "X") for predictivity.

You may care about the binary event of whether or not two people are (or are not) breaking up, but Facebook is only interested in probabilities. Based on their profiles, A/B have a p=0.5 chance of splitting up, a p=0.75 chance of splitting up if C changes his status to "seeing someone", and a p0.99 if "A", within 24 hours, changes her status to "it's complicated".

Re:Could that possibly be any more misleading?

[LordLucless]

OP was making a hypothesis about a profile, X, that could predict behavior Y. Given FB's dataset, one could start with an arbitrary 100 cases of behavior Y (manually detected by having humans pore over 10000 random logs), and derive all sorts of profiles for "X", and then selectively winnow them out (for each "X") for predictivity.

And I was stating that human relationships are complex enough that, without some sort of natural language AI, analysing frequency of communication on a single channel is not likely to provide a useful correlation.

I mean, Facebook can't even reliably determine when people die yet, and that's a much clearer case than when a relationship between two people is going to change.

Re:Could that possibly be any more misleading?

[Anonymous Coward]

And I was stating that human relationships are complex enough that, without some sort of natural language AI, analysing frequency of communication on a single channel is not likely to provide a useful correlation.

I'll take the other side of that bet. Ignoring a natural language AI, I don't have to know why A is talking to C behind B's back. I only have to know that A's friends are talking to A. C's friends are talking to C, and none of them are talking to B.

If you're at a poker table and you don't know who the patsy is, it's you. Give me a directed graph (weighted by communication frequency) with the profile outlined above, and B's the patsy. Maybe everyone's planning a surprise birthday party for B. Maybe A's planning a bachelorette party for her friends, and C's planning a bachelor party for B. Or A and C are sneaking around B's back.

The fun is figuring out a way to detect those three scenarios.

My Bayesian spam filter can tell the difference between a porn spammer, a viagra spammer, and a Nigerian 419 spammer. So does yours. It does so dozens of times a day.

Re:Could that possibly be any more misleading?

[Anonymous Coward]

...even if my fingers fail at HTML and my mouse subsequently fails at the difference between 'submit' and 'preview'.

Re:Could that possibly be any more misleading?

[Anonymous Coward]

Isn't that basically what the "Corepirate Illuminati Nazi" poster does? (Speaking of which, I haven't seen them in a while. It's been a nice break) It's kinda interesting the way they try to connect their incoherent rant with the topic of the article. It's tricked me a couple times, at least until I get to that signature phrase above.

Every time I see it I swear to god that thing's doing steganography. Stego's like porno. I may not be able to define it, but I know it when I see it. Problem is, I'm still sober enough to know that even if I could demonstrate that it was stego instead of random crap, doesn't mean I can interpret its message. If it's stego, whoever's behind it is smart enough to think that someone will have done that. It's Slashdot's numbers station.

One of these nights I'm going to be drunk and bored enough to write the script to scour Slashdot's last few thousand threads anyways.

And if it changes its behavior between this post and some short time interval forward or behind today, then someone who's smarter than I am will have the proof they need.

Re:Could that possibly be any more misleading?

[urusan]

How can we know for sure that someone hasn't done this already?

Re:Could that possibly be any more misleading?

[netsharc]

Twitter... there are already a million fucking spambots there, mostly used by the biggest (and big wannabe) SEO wankers who measures their virtual penis size by the number of followers they have, and how do they get followers? By hoping that when they follow someone, they reciprocate. So whenever I say some stupid keyword, some moron "follows" me there. Yeah, my own fault for using Twitter, but I use it as a real microblog, to swear like a moron at the stupidity that surrounds me.

Anyway, these bots will probably continue to follow and talk (advertise whatever their monkey owner wants them to advertise) to each other even after the demise of mankind, which I find fascinating...

Re:Could that possibly be any more misleading?

[SwedishPenguin]

Actually I think it would be very possible for facebook to predict when you'll get dumped (or get a girlfriend for that matter). They have tons of data on comments, wall posts, profile visits, how many photos the two of you have been tagged in together etc. Couple that with data on people hooking up or breaking up (and telling facebook about it), and they can probably build a pretty decent statistical model to predict when you're going to get dumped. Obviously it wouldn't be correct 100% of the time, but still.

Re:Could that possibly be any more misleading?

[clone53421]

While it’s theoretically plausible and an interesting side topic, that’s not actually what they’re doing though.

So why the Pre-Christmas Spike?

[spun]

Valentines is totally understandable. Spring is too, and not because of the beach, but because of what spring is and what it represents. "Spring cleaning" generally means "Throwing out old stuff we don't want anymore" and spring is when most of nature thinks about hooking up, so it seems natural. But right before Christmas? Who wants to be alone on Christmas? I mean, that seems like a particularly bad time for a breakup, both for the dumper and the dumpee.

Re:So why the Pre-Christmas Spike?

[stillnotelf]

If you aren't that into her/him, you don't want to spend the holidays with her/him. You don't want to visit your parents with her in tow, or visit his parents. You don't want to spend a bunch of money on a gift. You don't want to deal with a long-distance relationship for winter break, if you're in college. If there's a spring break spike then there will be a winter break spike.

Re:So why the Pre-Christmas Spike?

[Anonymous Coward]

They typical Facebook user is heading home from school to spend Chirstmas break with their family and does not want to be encumbered "long distance" relationship.

That, and they are not at a point in their life where they want to introduce anyone they are seeing to their family.

Re:So why the Pre-Christmas Spike?

[arivanov]

Quite clearly you never had to deal with the question of "whose parents are we visiting this Christmas".

Once you have dealt with it a few times you will definitely understand that.

That and coming back from the office party all smelling of perfume and having lipstick all over your shirt usually does not help your relationship.

So the stats are probably correct.

Re:So why the Pre-Christmas Spike?

[wjousts]

Christmas gifts are expensive. If you don't really like the person and you're convinced that their gift to you is unlikely to be something you want, you might as well cut the tie before the holiday. Plus it gives you a free hand for the drunken office holiday party.

Re:So why the Pre-Christmas Spike?

[Anonymous Coward]

Maybe they saw the totally unromantic / unwanted present like rechargable batterys... not wait that may be acceptable?

Re:So why the Pre-Christmas Spike?

[Nadaka]

That and coming back from the office party all smelling of perfume and having lipstick all over your shirt usually does not help your relationship.

If you have the right kind of girl she will be upset because you didn't share.

Re:So why the Pre-Christmas Spike?

[nedlohs]

Because you know you just can't one more Christmas with that damn family.

Re:So why the Pre-Christmas Spike?

[fiannaFailMan]

I've never had a relationship that survived winter. I also suffer from SAD. I'm in great spirits in the summer, but when the days shorten it gets a whole lot tougher to stay on top of things, including relationships.

Re:So why the Pre-Christmas Spike?

[Facebeast]

I remember reading about this just before last Christmas in the Metro (free commuter paper here in the UK). Apparently a lot of people in not particularly serious relationship break up in time to have some fun in the Christmas party season. It's kinda sad in my opinion that a statistically significant number of people are unhappy enough in their relationships to ditched them in favour of the chance of a drunken quickie in the stationary cupboard at the office party.

Re:So why the Pre-Christmas Spike?

[slim]

Who wants to be alone on Christmas?

It could be there's Someone Else. Alice is officially with Bob, but Bob's seeing Carol on the side. Late November, Carol starts saying "if you break up with Alice, we could spend Christmas together"...

I should write soap operas...

Re:So why the Pre-Christmas Spike?

[tverbeek]

Serious question: Is the "drunken office holiday party" really a common thing? I've worked at a few places that had dubious Christmas "parties" (e.g. a bunch of food in the break room, a catered dinner, or gift-exchange games) but in 25 years in the working world, I've never seen an office party with sexual shenanigans or drunken antics like you see on sitcoms (or read about on /.) It thought they'd died off around the time shag carpeting did.

Re:So why the Pre-Christmas Spike?

[spun]

You just need to find a woman who also suffers from SAD so you can hibernate together for the winter.

Re:So why the Pre-Christmas Spike?

[Anonymous Coward]

There is evidence that breakups occur right -before- Valentine's Day, so I submit that Facebook is seeing the reporting of something that happened already and is lagging a bit. Thus, not wanting to take that person you aren't too sure of into the Thanksgiving drama might fit into this too.

Re:So why the Pre-Christmas Spike?

[xgr3gx]

People dump their bf/gf before spring break so they can drunkenly bang sluts in Cancun guilt free.
An Christmas is a no brainer - if you're not that into the person, why spend any money on them, or get stuck with them over the holiday instead of people you really want to be with.
Also to drunkenly bang sluts at New Year's eve parties guilt free.

Re:So why the Pre-Christmas Spike?

[CAIMLAS]

You get bonus points for dumping a girl while during vacation to visit the family.

Re:So why the Pre-Christmas Spike?

[gknoy]

As with many things like clothes and desert, personal tastes matter. I'm glad that my definition of "the right kind of girl" doesn't fit that, but I wish you luck finding (or keeping) the one(s) that make you happy.

Re:So why the Pre-Christmas Spike?

[gknoy]

Ironically, last Father's Day my wife gave me permission to buy myself a Kill-a-watt... and I forgot to buy it. It's like the gift that keeps on giving, because I get to buy myself one for Christmas now! (If I remember.)

Re:So why the Pre-Christmas Spike?

[gknoy]

Would moving to a climate that has less wintery weather help? (Also, I like Spun's suggestion about hibernation. :) No idea how well it would work, but worth a shot.)

Re:So why the Pre-Christmas Spike?

[fiannaFailMan]

Already done that, and it is a lot less severe than it used to be. Hasn't gone away completely but it's easier to deal with. Thanks.

Re:So why the Pre-Christmas Spike?

[masmullin]

OR if you are the "right kind of *coughrupaulcough* guy"

Re:So why the Pre-Christmas Spike?

[masmullin]

Obviously, you've never worked as a fireman!

Re:So why the Pre-Christmas Spike?

[masmullin]

But Carol just fell down the elevator shute right after Bob broke up with Alice... dude we man an AWESOME team!

Re:So why the Pre-Christmas Spike?

[Fulcrum of Evil]

Friend of mine did this in the airport while waiting for the flight back. Of course, this was after she'd pissed off half the family at his brother's wedding. Double bonus points is that the girl appears to think I'm into her. Or something.

Re:So why the Pre-Christmas Spike?

[Nadaka]

First, it was a joke. Second, even with the "right kind of girl" you never play without her participation. Even then it doesn't seem like it worked out that great for me.

I had to let two go because they started partying way to hard (coke and other drugs) and the other was the love of my life and she went crazy after 8 years (or she was crazy all along and I just loved her to much to see it until she blew up).

I don't really go out of my way to find them, crazy bi girls just seem to find me.

Re:So why the Pre-Christmas Spike?

[BlendieOfIndie]

Unlike the summary, I figured the spring break spike was so that guys go drink beer and hit on chicks with they guy friends. I don't know about this "my gal looks bad in a bathing suit" crap. I would imagine the winter break spike is caused by, like you said, the requirement of buying presents & meeting parents, but I'd also add in the fear of missing some wild NYE opportunities.

Christmas

[wcrowe]

There is a theory that young men break up with their girlfriends right before Christmas because they want to avoid having to buy a gift.

Re:Christmas

[clone53421]

There is another theory that young women wait to break up with their boyfriends until right after Christmas so he’ll have to get them something.

Re:Christmas

[thijsh]

You got Christmas confused with Valentine, apparently.

Re:Christmas

[dkleinsc]

Another very likely reason for the breakup spike in mid-December: First-year college students come back to their hometowns and decide that their long-distance relationship with their high school sweetheart is unworkable. Any decent adult caretaker of a soon-to-be college student ought to make sure they know that, because plenty of first-year students spend a lot of time and money traveling to see their long-distance SOs.

Re:Christmas

[clone53421]

I almost said Christmas/Valentine’s day, but then you’d also have to include “her birthday”, “their anniversary” and probably a few other holidays to be all-inclusive.

Re:Christmas

[PingSpike]

And women dump their boyfriends right after Valentines because they already got their gift?

Re:Christmas

[Shotgun]

No. Men dump their girls right after Valentines, because they quickly tire of the incessant bitching and the entitlement attitude.

Re:Christmas

[masmullin]

the real gift comes 9mo later.

Re:Christmas

[BlendieOfIndie]

No, they were most likely ready to break up after not seeing their BF for three weeks over winter break. They decided to hang on to see if the relationship recovers (their always hesitant to break up), and the decide to wait until after Valentines day because its a date on the calendar, and they don't want to be lonely on the 14th when all their girlfriends are getting flowers.

The corollary is,,,

[Tokolosh]

... that Facebook knows when you get hooked-up.

Useful info for the sellers of kleenex in the first case, and condoms in the second.

Re:The corollary is,,,

[asukasoryu]

The Kleenex are good for the second case if you skip the condoms. Double win!

Re:The corollary is,,,

[ElectricTurtle]

Somebody doesn't know how a cervix works, but I suppose that's par for the course.

Re:The corollary is,,,

[binarybits]

Someone doesn't know what he's talking about, but I don't think it's @asukasoryu.

Re:The corollary is,,,

[Anonymous Coward]

What does a cervix have to do with it? You finish on her face, right?

Re:The corollary is,,,

[Shikaku]

Or in her butt.

For gods sake, there's only one spot where it really matters and yet men still make that mistake anyway and pay for it for 18 years.

Re:The corollary is,,,

[amicusNYCL]

Someone doesn't know what he's talking about, but I don't think it's @asukasoryu.

Maybe you're seeing something I'm not, but I'm pretty sure his name doesn't start with an "at" symbol.

Re:The corollary is,,,

[xgr3gx]

I think he was implying that no partner=no sex, so Kleenex would be used for cleanup after a solo.

Re:The corollary is,,,

[ElectricTurtle]

No he said specifically the 'second case' which is antecedent/respective to 'getting laid'.

Re:The corollary is,,,

[Evanisincontrol]

No, he was implying that if you cum inside a girl with no condom, there is a mess afterwards to clean up. And, for some girls, he is right. With some girls it doesn't all stay inside after you're done.

Re:The corollary is,,,

[ElectricTurtle]

'All' isn't the point. 'Any' is the point. So long as one of your gametes can get through the cervix to hers, pregnancy can happen. Don't let the fact that there are millions in every load fool you, only one matters.

Re:The corollary is,,,

[Evanisincontrol]

What the fuck does pregnancy have to do with this? asukasoryu's point was that if you cum in a girl without a condom, Kleenex can be used to clean up the mess. That's it.

Re:The corollary is,,,

[ctetc007]

For gods sake, there's only one spot where it really matters and yet men still make that mistake anyway and pay for it for 18 years.

Human biology drives males to that one particular spot. Otherwise, we'd all be extinct...

Re:The corollary is,,,

[ElectricTurtle]

That makes the baseline assumption that condoms' primary function is prevent 'mess' as opposed to, you know, pregnancy. I wonder which it is? I wonder why people buy condoms instead of kleenex? FFS dumbshits.

Re:The corollary is,,,

[Shotgun]

You should know that "pulling out" is a very ineffective birth control method. Please return to your sophmore year in high school and listen to the gym coach one more time.

Re:The corollary is,,,

[Shikaku]

I take it you are either a virgin or don't know of the myriad of ways to have fun sexually without any intercourse (which is defined as penis in vagina).

Re:The corollary is,,,

[i.r.id10t]

Ah, it works fine, most of the time. However, it will eventually catch up to you.

Don't believe me? Ask my wife on 11/22 around noonish when they are delivering humanware release 3.0

Re:The corollary is,,,

[Doctor Faustus]

If you're trying to use anal as birth control, watch out where semen leaks to afterwards. Pregnancies are still quite possibly.

Re:The corollary is,,,

[slim]

That makes the baseline assumption that condoms' primary function is prevent 'mess' as opposed to, you know, pregnancy. I wonder which it is?

You forgot STIs - a rather important function, since other forms of contraception don't provide it (*)

But since a condom does have the incidental property of containing the man's portion of the mess, the joke sort of works. It's not the greatest joke ever told -- and over-analysis does it no favours - but it works.

(* unless you count abstinence; screw that, if you'll excuse the choice of words)

Re:The corollary is,,,

[sempir]

This is the best sex 101 i've ever read.

Re:The corollary is,,,

[masmullin]

WFM!

Re:The corollary is,,,

[Fulcrum of Evil]

PIV sex is but a small fraction of what intercourse is. Sorry if your definitions are that narrow.

Re:The corollary is,,,

[jmac_the_man]

(* unless you count abstinence; screw that, if you'll excuse the choice of words)

There was one time abstinence failed...

Re:The corollary is,,,

[Anonymous Coward]

You wouldn't cry a little if you got a chick preggers?

Re:The corollary is,,,

[MichaelSmith]

Some of us like being parents.

I'm getting married exactly two weeks before Chris

[flyboy974]

I'm getting married exactly two weeks before Christmas. I don't use Facebook but my fiancée does. Perhaps I need to start monitoring her status. ;-)

Bloomin' onions!

[Anonymous Coward]

Any woman who doesn't appreciate the fine cuisine of an Outback Steakhouse isn't worth a man's time, anyhow. The ambiance and food quality are second only to Olive Garden.

Re:Bloomin' onions!

[slim]

I believe Chilli's is the cool place for romantic meals nowadays.

Re:Bloomin' onions!

[russ1337]

I've seen a young couple get engaged in outback steakhouse. Poor girl.

Re:Bloomin' onions!

[edawstwin]

She could have been Australian and just wanted to feel at home. I'm sure she ordered the Alice Springs Chicken and a Foster's to celebrate.

Re:Bloomin' onions!

[Gizzmonic]

Actually, I prefer taking my dates to Pepperbee's. They have a real passion for customer service there.

Re:Bloomin' onions!

[Anonymous Coward]

Why poor girl? To a young couple a night at the outback actually might have been a nice splurge? In college I remember once going out to a "nice dinner" and the bill was $70 (though we couldn't drink at the time). I thought that was obnoxiously extravagant at the time. Now I live in NYC, and dinner for 2 that is $70 feels like dodging a bullet. My cousin is just getting by and has a kid and it would make her month if not year if someone treated her to Outback or something similar and watched her son for the night.

Different strokes for different folks... Don't judge.

Re:Bloomin' onions!

[Anonymous Coward]

My wife took me to Outback Steakhouse for my birthday once (before we were engaged). It was the closest I've come to breaking up with her in the three years I've known her.

We've been through relocations (without movers), family drama, job losses, lifestyle changes, and deaths of close relatives together. You have no idea how much I hate Outback Steakhouse.

this article is sooo three days ago

[regularjack]

this article is sooo three days ago

Men less dumping

[dudeanand]

It is also obvious that men do less dumping then woman do...

Re:Men less dumping

[masmullin]

really? I believe I missed that.

Re:I'm getting married exactly two weeks before Ch

[2names]

If your girlfriend/wife/whatever is using Facebook and you are not, you need to get an account. Trust me on this.

look at the bright side...

[digitaldc]

...the upshot is that now you know the right times to ask people out with a higher chance of success.

facebook still won't replace the value of actual face-to-face conversation and interaction, and this is something it will never achieve.

Re:look at the bright side...

[hoggoth]

> ...the upshot is that now you know the right times to ask people out with a higher chance of success.

You should already know this.

All. The. Time.

Interesting

[f.ardelian]

I would like to see this graph correlated with age.

Lest there be any confusion

[Anonymous Coward]

Lest there be any confusion, this is not about Facebook analyzing YOU specifically and predicting a breakup. It's an analysis of a big group by averages.

Re:Lest there be any confusion

[ctetc007]

this is not about Facebook analyzing YOU specifically and predicting a breakup. It's an analysis of a big group by averages.

But Facebook is the tool/medium through which the analysis is being conducted. Thus part of the point is the fact that Facebook can now be used to do these kinds of analyses/social observations/stalking.

It may not rigorously accurate (biased sample pool, etc), but the observations are still interesting to note...

Valentine's biggest affair discovery day.

[Maxo-Texas]

I've seen it happen. Something symbolic about that day makes people out others in affairs and for discrete affairs to become indiscreet.

Re:Valentine's biggest affair discovery day.

[wjousts]

Exactly this. If you've been juggling two or more affairs all year, it's bound to come to a head on Valentine's day. Try explaining to the person who thinks you are their exclusive lover that you are aren't going to spend Valentine's with them. Christmas is easier because you can always use your family as an excuse.

Before Christmas?

[segedunum]

I always thought the traditional breakup time was after Christmas, when you'd spent far too much time with her and her family and ended up never wanting to see them again and the only reason she was with you over the festive period was to avoid being alone?

Re:Before Christmas?

[smithbob2]

I always thought the traditional breakup time was after Christmas, when you'd spent far too much time with her and her family and ended up never wanting to see them again and the only reason she was with you over the festive period was to avoid being alone?

I've broken up with girls before the holidays because I wasn't up to dealing with her family for another holiday season. I suspect there's something to be said for that rationale.

Re:Before Christmas?

[chrisj_0]

Before Christmas so you don't have to buy a present for her.

Re:Before Christmas?

[Anonymous Coward]

I think it is the idea of soon having to spend so much time together that finally tips you over the edge.

Re:Before Christmas?

[Anonymous Coward]

I always thought the traditional breakup time was after Christmas, when you'd spent far too much time with her and her family and ended up never wanting to see them again and the only reason she was with you over the festive period was to avoid being alone?

People break up before Christmas because they ask themselves "Do I like this person enough to spend the holidays with me and my family?" or.. "I like him, but I don't want to invite him over for Christmas, it would probably just be easier to break up with him rather than explain I'm not ready for him to meet my family"

Something along those lines I would assume.

My theories

[GodfatherofSoul]

* Valentine's Day: people don't want to be alone for the holiday; at least without enough time to find a replacement!
* Spring Break: people want to pick up new and exciting mates on vacation.
* Christmas: going home for the holidays and know you'll get your space for at least a couple of days.

I'd also guess the numbers are slanted towards younger people where these time periods have more of a common significance (kids going home for college breaks, even having a Spring break, etc.).

Re:My theories

[Maitri]

You can see the original presentation the article is based on here (so you are looking at the original not a summary of a summary): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pLqjQ55tz-U

The section with this data starts at 6:18 and ends around 7:50.

The higher break up period was actually during summer break not spring break - so college students not managing to keep long distance relationships going over the summer seems like a reasonable supposition...

There was also a peak around April Fools Day - wonder if that was from bad jokes causing break ups or if the break up was the bad joke?

Quote Sources!

[Anonymous Coward]

Come on, Slashdot. This information (and the graph to go with it) is originally by David McCandless and Lee Bryon in this book back in 2008 and was copied by someone. See Peak Break-Up Times On Facebook.

Re:Quote Sources!

[Anonymous Coward]

Thank You!

I knew id seen it before, but i couldn't be bothered to search for it.

Matsksskskskskk

[box4831]

appalled that their lovers could think of nothing more romantic than roses from the supermarket and dinner at Outback Steakhouse?" write Chris Matyszczyk

Im more appalled at my attempts to pronounce that last name

Re:Matsksskskskskk

[$RANDOMLUSER]

appalled that their lovers could think of nothing more romantic than roses from the supermarket and dinner at Outback Steakhouse?" write Chris Matyszczyk

Im more appalled at my attempts to pronounce that last name

If you can trick him into saying his name backwards, it will return him to his own dimension for at least 90 days.

Re:Matsksskskskskk

[N1tr0u5]

Hopefully you remain unsuccessful, otherwise he will disappear to his native dimension.

Re:Matsksskskskskk

[Anonymous Coward]

Matsksskskskskk. Well done. There's only a single s and a single k in it, so I can see how you could make that mistake.
For those interested, in slavic tongues, sz is the equivalent of the english sh, and cz is like ch.
And the stress syllable is usually next-to-last.
Transliterated, that makes it Matyshchyk, with the 'tysh' stressed, which you should have no problems pronouncing.

Re:Matsksskskskskk

[Anonymous Coward]

If you get him to spell it backwards, he goes back to the 5th dimension for a month.

Re:Matsksskskskskk

[Anonymous Coward]

Ma-tish-schick

Re:Matsksskskskskk

[Anonymous Coward]

Doesn't that dude have to go back to the 6th dimension for 99 days now or something?

Re:Matsksskskskskk

[Anonymous Coward]

Assuming he still goes by the standard Polish pronunciation and didn't give in to the first ignorant Anglo's attempt, that'll be Ma-tish-chick.

(Polish spelling is easy. A word looks no harder to pronounce than it is. English, on the other hand . . . )

Re:Matsksskskskskk

[ModMeFlamebait]

Mah-tish-chick would be close enough, I guess.

Re:I'm getting married exactly two weeks before Ch

[Anonymous Coward]

If you are distrusting to the point that you need an account to monitor your mate, one of you has a problem. Hint: not your mate.

Good Riddance

[Lumpy]

"Might I suggest that, immediately after Valentine's, some women might be casting men from their sight, appalled that their lovers could think of nothing more romantic than roses from the supermarket and dinner at Outback Steakhouse?"

If your Girl is that shallow.... It was a GOOD THING(tm) that she "dumped you".

Honestly, some guys cant afford more than that on a silly holiday created by a greeting card company. IF she wants Diamonds on Valentines day, Kick that gold digger to the curb pronto!

Re:Good Riddance

[AnonymousClown]

My wife has a friend that wants the "best" of everything and she's not rich. If she takes a cooking class, she's got to have the top of the line Henkel knives. She wants a "Benz". She buys a purse, it's a Gucci. etc....

She's always broke. She says that one day she'll be making six figures - she's a paralegal so it's doubtful she'll get even close. Anyway, I tell my wife, even if she made seven figures, she'd still be broke all the time. Why? Because she's a poor slob who thinks like a poor slob. She doesn't think on how to make her money work for her - just about crap she can buy.

Gold diggers are the same. They're people who believe that "fancy" things will make them happy. They believe being married to someone "successful" will make them happy.

Yes, if she wants diamonds on Valentine's Day definitely - have your fun and then get rid of her. She's just trouble down the road.

Re:Good Riddance

[slim]

"Might I suggest that, immediately after Valentine's, some women might be casting men from their sight, appalled that their lovers could think of nothing more romantic than roses from the supermarket and dinner at Outback Steakhouse?"

If your Girl is that shallow.... It was a GOOD THING(tm) that she "dumped you".

Honestly, some guys cant afford more than that on a silly holiday created by a greeting card company. IF she wants Diamonds on Valentines day, Kick that gold digger to the curb pronto!

"Something more romantic than roses from the supermarket and dinner at Outback Steakhouse" doesn't have to be expensive. It even cost less money -- but probably more in terms of effort and imagination.

Re:Good Riddance

[Rene S. Hollan]

You can do the roses thing, and get away with it, without appearing cheap or unoriginal. But, while original, alas it also won't be cheap.

Get more than a dozen variegated roses. TWO dozen is a nice, round, number. Expect to pay between $100 and $200. (On the upside, that usually includes a vase.) Send them to her place of work. This is important: she has to have a job. More on that later.

This will have the following effect:

1. All her female coworkers will note, "Hey, there's more than a dozen here!". They will exude thinly veiled jealousy: their SOs never splurged that much. She will feel smug in front of them. (whether she actually wants such things from you is another matter.)

2. The more astute will point out that they are variegated. These are not cheap $11.99/dozen roses.

3. She will realize that you actually had the guts to be so public about your affection. After all, she could utterly dismiss your infantile display. True, but you aren't actually there. It will pass, and if she does and dumps you over it, you have saved the cost of dinner, and future courtship. Note: $150 for the flowers would be cheap by comparison.

4. She will realize that you went to some hardship to spend that kind of money on her. After all, she works for a living too and knows it's hard to earn. Granted, she might dismiss it as wasteful (but, you would probably know that aspect of her personality by now), but hey, it's once a year, and ya gotta live at least a little, no?

O.K. You've made your "investment". Over the next weeks and months, see what the return is. The real measure of a woman is not whether she will "service you" (note: hookers are cheaper than roses, and reciprocal booty calls and NSA relationships don't require them -- they are business arrangements), but rather if she will endure hardship for you.

And, always, always, remember this: if you get dumped over your display, it was a cheap lesson in the long run,

Re:Good Riddance

[slim]

Be very, very wary about generalising about what women want.

Some women would love to get an ostentatious bouquet of flowers at work. Others would be deeply embarrassed by it.

How to know? That's the tricky bit.

Re:Good Riddance

[Anonymous Coward]

Honestly, some guys cant afford more than that on a silly holiday created by a greeting card company

What? Greeting cards? Those are expensive!

Re:Good Riddance

[Anonymous Coward]

I imagine that this has more to do with people wanting to end their relationship but not wanting to be alone on valentine's day, so they stick it out for a few extra weeks. On February 15th, the overdue breakups begin.

Re:Good Riddance

[Anonymous Coward]

Unless you actually showed up with them in hand, any woman who got embarrassed "has issues". What's to get embarrassed about? She can display disgust, whether real, or feigned (and take the matter up with you later) if she didn't want the attention, or at least indifference, if she didn't want to display any other reaction.

You have placed yourself in a position where she can dismiss you, and your display,... without you actually having to be there to endure it.

People who get embarrassed by what others, who they do not control, do, have serious issues.

I think the real problem is are so called "men", who want to "advance" a relationship, where such relationship exists only in their heads, and fear "losing" what little relationship they do have. It dunna work that way.

Re:Good Riddance

[Anonymous Coward]

"If it flies, floats or fornicates always rent. It's cheaper in the long run."

Re:Good Riddance

[Shotgun]

She says that one day she'll be making six figures - she's a paralegal so it's doubtful she'll get even close.

Have you not been paying attention to what the Fed is doing to the value of our dollar? I bet she'll be making six figures by the time spring rolls around, and seven figure by the time fall comes back.

Re:Good Riddance

[Lumpy]

Actually it IS cheap.

Costco - 4 dozen roses Under $40.00
Costco cheap vase Under $12.00
Costco Drippy sappy movie from the discount bin.

Tell her you want to stay home and be alone with her... she will be all over it.

You are out under $90.00 less than the dinner at the crappy outback house and crap flowers.

Re:Good Riddance

[slim]

Unless you actually showed up with them in hand, any woman who got embarrassed "has issues". What's to get embarrassed about?

Well, everyone else in the office is now gossiping about her. That was the whole point of delivering them to work. Does she "have issues" if she doesn't like that?

I guess you could say she does, but they're not the kind of "issues" that would put me off a girl.

Re:Good Riddance

[Kevin Stevens]

Pro tip:
If you are going to send her roses at work, send them on a Monday. Flowers at work also serve the purpose of being shown off to coworkers, and to maximize her enjoyment and gloating, you should get them on Monday, as most flowers are unlikely to last more than 7 days, and start looking worse for the wear after 5.

I learned this from my girlfriend, who is now my fiance.

Re:Good Riddance

[Doctor Faustus]

And some just get depressed watching cut flowers die.

Re:Good Riddance

[RazorSharp]

I just think it's bizarre that they concluded that post-Valentine's Day break-ups have to do with disappointed women on Valentine's day. I've heard this sentiment expressed, and I believe it has something to do with it: "I'm going to break up with him, but Valentine's Day is coming up and I know he has something special planned."

1. A pre-Valentine's Day break-up means the woman loses out on whatever she would have gotten

2. It also means that she runs the risk of being single on Valentine's Day, a situation few women have the self-esteem to deal with.

Re:Good Riddance

[Anonymous Coward]

Well, yeah, that's my take too. But, it isn't about what you like. Presumably, if you're inclined to send roses, you'd know her well enough to know if she'd like to receive them.

The woman who likes "romantic gestures" like roses would probably want them to have required some effort, and not be an "Oh yeah! Got to get flowers" thing. A working woman understands that (a) uniqueness and (b) some expense equals "effort" in a busy man's working life.

Re:Good Riddance

[Anonymous Coward]

It's not the embarrassment angle you have to worry about so much. That'll pass. It's the shame, anger, socially offended angle you have to watch for, esp. if you've never met her coworkers.

Sometimes the woman in the workplace badmouths her current boyfriend to her coworkers. Sending roses unintentionally puts you in a good light, and sort of puts her up as playing the victim card or even being an attention grabber or a liar. Doing something good, well, shows her up that you're not that bad, which will PISS her off since it undermines her social standing amongst her coworkers, particularly the female ones.

It's one of the reasons why it's sometimes good for the rose giver to show up a little while later with a box of something else as a followup. Look at the response of your presence from her fellow female coworkers. If it's "oh shit, he's here" or "uh oh," or sheepish smiles with no light in the expression from the coworkers, or worse the smiles with "poor guy" written somewhere, or a crowd looking on not with expectation that something good is going to happen but with suppressed laughter or shit is going to hit the fan, she hasn't been speaking good of you to her workplace friends.

If the female coworkers, on the other hand, are averting their glances which seem strangely attracted to you, or even a couple that look like they'd jump you right then and there or at least drag you to the nearest closet, then your girl may be deeply embarrassed, but in a good way.

Re:Good Riddance

[jamesh]

How to know? That's the tricky bit.

Same way you'd approach tightening up a bolt. Tighten it up until it breaks then back it off 1/4 of a turn.

Re:Good Riddance

[Anonymous Coward]

Um.. If you have that kind of girl for a future wife, you should be concerned about your future. Petty narcissistic attitudes like that don't disappear after the ceremony.

Re:Good Riddance

[Anonymous Coward]

Granted, she might dismiss it as wasteful (but, you would probably know that aspect of her personality by now), but hey, it's once a year, and ya gotta live at least a little, no?

If anything she will appreciate it more for being wasteful. In fact, to women, wasteful is another word for "romantic". Why? Because if you can afford to buy expensive things that are useless, it quickly and reliably demonstrates you have more than you need, and therefore you're a potential provider for her. If you have just enough to get by, you could not possibly afford to buy things that have no purpose.

Other good examples include expensive dinners (read: small portions, not large and value for money), diamond rings that cost two months salary and are totally useless, and obviously, expensive roses that wilt after a few days.

Try to think of a gift that is both sensible and "romantic". You can't: they're mutually exclusive.

Also check out:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conspicuous_consumption

Re:Good Riddance

[VAY]

My partner went onto the lego website, designed me some lego roses, and gave me the kit on Valentine's Day. I got to play with the lego!

Now there's a guy who knows how to romance a geek.

Re:Good Riddance

[cffrost]

[...] NSA relationships don't require them.

True, NSA relationships merely require a phone call placed from the United States to Iran.

Re:Good Riddance

[Anonymous Coward]

"Try to think of a gift that is both sensible and "romantic". You can't: they're mutually exclusive."

Bullshit.

A kit of ingredients to make a favorite meal together.

I see that

[Anonymous Coward]

She didn't think you did enough for V-Day, it would have been fine except her close girlfriend got engaged in a very romantic way and all you did was rent a movie. You did at least rent a movie, didn't you?

And you were so excited to go with your buds to spring break because of all the hot chick on the beach. No wonder she was bitchy.

Then for Christmas one of you were expected to attend the family gathering and the other didn't see it as such a big deal because you just spent Thanks giving with them, and the 4th, and labor day, and presidents day, and Christmas last year.

 

Weekends

[Anonymous Coward]

There appears to be a weekly period to the data as well. People breaking up right for the weekend so they can hookup with that new hottie at the party on Saturday night.

For obvious reasons

[sunking2]

This doesn't apply to this crowd.

Is there an app for that?

[Animats]

There's potential for a great Facebook app here - the Dump-O-Meter. This would monitor messages to and from someone you're in a relationship with. Tally the positive and negative adjectives, and the response timing. If you send to your SO, how long does it take to get a response, and vice versa? How has that response time changed over time?

Collect this data for a large number of users, and observe when the "In a relationship" status changes. Dump the data into a machine learning algorithm like a support vector machine and build a predictive model. To analyze messages, repurpose a spam filter program.

Provide the user with warning messages when the predictor says the risk of being dumped is climbing. Attach ads for flowers, candy, travel, etc.

Generate revenue by selling lists of people just dumped to dating services.

Re:Is there an app for that?

[martas]

and then try to measure the effect of the prediction on the probability that the prediction is correct. self fulfilling prophecies, FTW!

Re:Is there an app for that?

[jamesh]

The problem with that is that it's now part of the system not just an outside observer. Announcing to one party that there are indications that the other party is about to dump them is going to change the system. That's not necessarily a bad thing though, my observations are that guys (and probably more so the sort of guys which would read slashdot :) are less likely to aware that their lady is feeling a bit unloved and might need some more affection.

Either way, I think you're on to a money maker here. You don't even have to write anything - just secure a patent ASAP and wait until someone else implements it then sue them (for some reason you don't seem to need an implementation to get a patent anymore).

Re:I'm getting married exactly two weeks before Ch

[BrokenHalo]

I've been married for over 20 years, and my wife uses Facebook to keep in contact with her various friends, cronies and relations. Some of her Facebook friends are actually my siblings and other relations. I, on the other hand, have no interest whatsoever in flushing my time away on Facebook, and don't have an account.

If my wife wants to bitch about me, she can (and does, at length and maximum Db) to my face. Or better, from several rooms away... :P

What I do know is that I don't need to keep tabs on her, which is both a matter of trust and our familiarity with each other's character, including defects. I would contend that if you need to watch your partner's Facebook posts to check that you are still attached, then you shouldn't be married in the first place.

Context

[SteveAyre]

The guy's completely ignored context though.

What about school/college university terms breaking up? They all break up for spring break and christmas.

I expect more people round those times were blogging things like 'I can't wait until we break up for christmas'' than were saying they were dumped. Which makes the entire chart meaningless.

Re:Context

[gsslay]

Mod parent up.

This analysis relies entirely on Facebook users using "break up" and "broken up" only in the context of romantic relationships. There are obvious and frequent uses for these terms outside this; therefore analysis is fatally compromised from the off.

Perhaps if someone explained this to the David McCandless, he might report how broken up he was about it, but it wouldn't mean his significant other was leaving him.

Re:Context

[TheThiefMaster]

Oh LOL it's got to be this.

That's quite an oversight on their part.

Re:Context

[nEoN nOoDlE]

They probably used aggregate data from the relationship status as opposed to wall status. You can't really misconstrue the message between "Joe is in a relationship with Jane" to "Joe set his relationship status to single"

Re:Context

[slim]

Sir, you win. I'm a tad embarrassed not to have spotted it myself, but I'm obviously not alone.

Re:Context

[slim]

They probably used aggregate data from the relationship status as opposed to wall status. You can't really misconstrue the message between "Joe is in a relationship with Jane" to "Joe set his relationship status to single"

TFA is quite explicit "his methodology was to scrape Facebook updates that included phrases such as 'break up' or 'broken up'".

Re:Context

[canajin56]

Really? More, meaning you think that at least 50% of people, when saying something about "breaking up" with their girlfriend just mean they're going to their home towns for Christmas, not that they have stopped dating? That's absurd. To say that even 5% of people use the term "breakup" to mean something other than a relationship ending is probably far too high. I have never heard anybody talking about a holiday as a "breakup" with their school year. Nobody talks like that. A human should know that sort of thing...Oh snaps, If you really are a human, that is!

Re:Context

[slim]

I have never heard anybody talking about a holiday as a "breakup" with their school year. Nobody talks like that.

It's absolutely the phrase a British schoolchild or university student would use. "I can't wait for school to break up for Christmas". You're telling me that (I guess) American students don't use that phrase, but I'd be surprised if it wasn't used in some other English speaking countries. Australia?

If the curve was otherwise flat, that demographic would be enough to explain the peaks.

On the other hand, if it was the only factor, you'd probably expect equal peaks three times a year (before Christmas, before Easter, before the summer holiday) as well as smaller spikes for the half term breaks.

Re:Context

[cmiller173]

Although the GP doesn't really explain it well I think he is talking about "break up" and "broken up" being valid in other contexts, he just gives really shitty examples. I think the point is that if someone posted "my sisters is really broken up about her dog getting hit by a car" or "I can't believe by favorite band broke up" that the simplistic algorithm explained in the article would count those as the end of romantic relationships when in fact the context indicates that is not the case.

Re:Context

[slim]

Following up my own post, bad form, but...

Just to drive this home, if a British student (or teacher) probably wouldn't need to specify context, for "break up" to be interpreted as the school term ending. Around the start of December, you'd ask "When do you break up?"

Also British English speakers would more likely use "split up" for the end of a relationship, although "break up" would be understood.

Now, the American usage is probably more common on Facebook, but it remains the case there's a lot to be taken into account. Canajin56 hasn't experienced "break up" being used in the context of a school breaking up, but that's personal experience which for most of us is limited. I wonder if it's even consistent across the USA -- ever seen that map of where they use the words "pop", "soda", etc.?

Re:Context

[vux984]

I expect more people round those times were blogging things like 'I can't wait until we break up for christmas''

a) They put that in their relationship status?

b) You really think the researches didn't at least skim the data to see if there was a huge spike of "break up for the holidays" jamming through the data? I know we like to jump on research methodogy at every chance on /. but as often as not the researchers actually did some of this elementary double checking sort of stuff. The fact that it didn't get mentioned on some 2 paragraph /. summary or even the puff piece that passes as the full article doesn't mean it didn't happen.

Re:Context

[vux984]

Yes, and did it also say his methodology explicitly prevented him from so much as even looking at the data to ensure it wasn't being obviously polluted? If the rate of "break up" posts jumps up 50% it should be pretty trivial to skim the data and see whether or not there is a huge surge of "break up for the holidays" posts. What researcher wouldn't at least skim the data?

To be skeptical is reasonable. But to automatically infer they didn't do even cursory validation is over the top.

And lets be honest "I can't wait to break up for the holidays", at least in my part of the english speaking world is a pretty uncommon idiom. We'd be FAR more likely to say "i can't wait to break for the holidays" or even more likely "I can't wait for the holiday break".

How common is "break up for the holidays" really? Is is a dramatic spike? Or lost in the same noise as "Julie didn't break up with Steve after all", and "my cookies got broken up in my lunch today".

Re:Context

[vux984]

You're telling me that (I guess) American students don't use that phrase

No. We don't much. We'd break for the holidays. Or look forward to the holiday break. I've never heard the "break up for the holidays idiom".

If the curve was otherwise flat, that demographic would be enough to explain the peaks.

It would also be trivial to skim the data and see it. I'm not saying the researcher validated the data, but to go off half cocked and just assume they didn't so much as skim the data around the peaks is just as bad.

On the other hand, if it was the only factor, you'd probably expect equal peaks three times a year (before Christmas, before Easter, before the summer holiday) as well as smaller spikes for the half term breaks.

Right. There are 3 big breaks, and the summer break is by far the biggest one for tons of people... so maybe they did check the data and the whole "break up for the holidays" idiom was just noise in the data... or maybe they caught and filtered it... just because the puff piece article doesn't mention it doesn't mean they didn't.

Again... a healthy dose of skepticism about the result is perfectly reasonable. But slashdot usually takes skepticism to crackpot heights.

Re:Context

[vux984]

Although the GP doesn't really explain it well I think he is talking about "break up" and "broken up" being valid in other contexts, he just gives really shitty examples. I think the point is that if someone posted "my sisters is really broken up about her dog getting hit by a car" or "I can't believe by favorite band broke up" that the simplistic algorithm explained in the article would count those as the end of romantic relationships when in fact the context indicates that is not the case.

But those posts would be a more or less constant stream. They are the ever present background noise in the study.

If you recorded all those posts, and then looked at the data around the peaks, I think you might well find that the surge around peaks are the result of relationship break up posts rather than a sudden surge of fatal vehicular canine interactions. Maybe they even looked at the peaks vs some flat spots to actually check the context ratio of relationship break ups to other break ups to confirm it.

Re:Context

[TreeInMyCube]

Oh, and he's definitely overlooked the Turkey Dump. Countless relationships between (US) high school seniors continue thru the summer, after graduation. They make an effort to keep things going during their first term at *different* colleges/universities. But when they return to their hometown for Thanksgiving (a US holiday that is roughly 3-4 weeks before Christmas), they realize that all the girls/guys back at college are really more interesting/attractive. Breakup.

Re:Context

[slim]

How common is "break up for the holidays" really? .

It's the predominant idiom in England and Wales; probably the rest of the UK; maybe other English speaking countries. Obviously not in the US, given responses here.

Re:I'm getting married exactly two weeks before Ch

[Nadaka]

I really really wish that was the case. I needed a facebook account to keep track of my ex, but I didn't have one because everything seemed ok. I got a facebook account after we broke up to get back in touch with old friends and its amazing the shit my ex was keeping from me.

Graph looks funny

[jfengel]

A graph like this should be cyclical, with a smooth curve between the far right and the far left. It shows a big rise in late December, the highest point in the year, followed by an instantaneous drop-off in early January to one of the lowest points.

Is there some sudden function that occurs on New Year's Day that makes people stay in love? One that just happens to occur at the same time as the arbitrary graph endpoints?

I suspect what's going on is that Facebook grows through the year, and that there needs to be a scaling factor applied. That would imply that the peak at the far right is not nearly so tall in reality, exaggerated by a rapidly expanding Facebook.

Or maybe it's something else. But that's just the first thing to leap out at me. If they're not correcting for that, or at least trying to posit an explanation, what else is wrong with their methodology?

Re:Graph looks funny

[Late Adopter]

Look closer. December got cut off in the screen-cap.

Re:Graph looks funny

[clone53421]

Good catch.

Original here (Google translated from Japanese -> English)

Re:Graph looks funny

[clone53421]

Scratch that, it’s actually a TED talk by David McCandless.

Re:Graph looks funny

[jfengel]

Thanks. The graph does indeed show a truly epic drop-off after Christmas, but not nearly as radical as the instantaneous change that the cut-off graph suggested. A poor coincidence that removed a very interesting feature of the graph.

There's a tiny oddity where it seems like there's a one day massive drop-off, possibly Christmas Day; I guess nobody breaks up with you on Christmas, or in the previous few days. It turns around pretty sharply.

Re:Graph looks funny

[jfengel]

I had a feeling about that. Props to the guy who found the original (despite the hilarious auto translation from Japanese.)

There remains a very, very sharp drop in the graph, but it no longer looks like a distortion of the curve. It's too bad that the screen cap cut off what I find to be the most interesting data point: not the surge leading up to Christmas, but the fact that it drops to practically zero on Christmas Day. Not unexpected, I suppose, but nevertheless prominent.

Re:Graph looks funny

[mykdavies]

Don't forget this isn't a record of Facebook users who broke up on each given day, it's a record of Facebook users who wrote a post (including the phrase "we broke up because") on each given day. Maybe people just don't update Facebook so much over Christmas.

This explains a lot

[Anonymous Coward]

I'm sure I'm not the only /. reader that has found themself in the "good guy" realm. For us, relationships start in mid-late November and somewhere early in January. We then find another one in time for Valentines day, or at the very least end up on a fancy date for Valentines day that won't have a follow up. We're then screwed until the next November.

Long Distance Relationship

[rakuen]

Now, obviously a relationship that is already long distance has its own challenges involved, but I'm curious how the data would apply to it. The latter two breakup events are probably due to breaks which would separate two people for a week or more. What if you're already in separate places? Does it happen as often, or is the occurance noticably diminished?

Re:I'm getting married exactly two weeks before Ch

[nblender]

I predict that there is a 99% chance that you will be her ex-boyfriend by christmas.

Incidentally, my wife doesn't appreciate being introduced as my 'ex-girlfriend'... Just a little bit of pre-marital advice.

Need more information?

[quadelirus]

I think this comparison should only be made alongside when people are beginning relationships. For instance, perhaps there is a sharp rise in breakups after Valentine's Day because people are feeling sentimental before VD or don't want to be alone and so are more likely to begin a romantic relationship shortly before--couple that with the conventional wisdom that most relationships don't last 5 weeks and it seems obvious that the breakup rate would be highest just a few weeks after Valentine's Day. Or, potentially, you might find that those breaking up around spring break very quickly began new relationships suggesting that they were cutting ties with their SOs prior to spring break so that they can "have a good time" and "meet some new people" on Spring Break.

Where is the control in this?

[freeworldtech]

Did it occur to anyone that this only considers Facebook data and therefor ignores all breakups not reflected on Facebook. Maybe it's only Facebook users who break up those times of year. Or maybe only regular users who care if their status is up to date. Or possibly those are times of higher traffic from recently dumped users who have nothing to do but update Facebook.

Are those the only times?

[Stregano]

I wonder what the number of people are that break up right before V-Day so that they don't have to buy their gf anything

Re:Are those the only times?

[Anonymous Coward]

I don't do Valentine's Day because I'm not Catholic.

Sooo

[geekoid]

I don't want to break your heart before a romantic days, I don't want to be attached when I go party, and I would rather dump you then meet your relatives.

Re:I'm getting married exactly two weeks before Ch

[vux984]

If your girlfriend/wife/whatever is using Facebook and you are not, you need to get an account. Trust me on this

Sad but true. As much as I personally despise facebook.

The parent doesn't say why... and I don't really know how to elaborate on it without coming off a creepy jealous stalker-boyfriend, but try and imagine all her ex-boyfriends, and all the guys she's ever met that she liked but never dated, and throw in half of their friends too... and then have them all calling to chat and flirt with her on a daily basis...

I'm not saying your girlfriend/wife/fiancee is looking to cheat on you, but there's often a swarm of people on her friends list that would very much like her to.... without being creepy stalker guy I'm just saying its generally for the best if couples are a "couple" online in an environment like that.

Relationships need trust, and people need their own space... but just being there and being part of it makes a difference; it can change the tone of the environment to a more healthy one.

Re:I'm getting married exactly two weeks before Ch

[2names]

Exactly. You would be amazed at how many relationships are ruined by Facebook. I did some research recently that really opened my eyes to this problem. The one thread through the vast majority of women's confessions was that they didn't *mean* for it to happen. A chat lead to a call. A call lead to lunch, then to secret meetings, then to bed. These were professional, intelligent women who previously had no intention of having an affair. It is mind-boggling.

This only demonstrates...

[Fantastic Lad]

This only demonstrates that there are enough selfish, sociopathic creeps out there (of both sexes), to shape behavioral bell-curves for entire populations.

No surprise there.

Anybody here ever snap awake with a sudden wave of panic to the fact that you're locked up in a cage packed full of mindless, wild animals masquerading as human and there's not a damned thing you can do about it other than hope you can distract them long enough to avoid getting your jugular ripped open with their zombie fangs? Yes? Then you probably don't fit into that above-mentioned bell-curve.

-FL

Re:This only demonstrates...

[Shotgun]

Yes. And for some reason, I keep coming back to Slashdot anyway.

MOD PARENT UP

[BenEnglishAtHome]

Bravo, sir.

In a relationship with...?

[Chelloveck]

Just to screw with Facebook's statistics, my wife changes her "in a relationship with..." person every day.

At least, she says it's just to mess with Facebook...

Have a friend that breaks up with his gf's...

[Anonymous Coward]

... before Christmas and gets back together with some of them after Valentines Day - said he saves thousands of dollars that way, and cleans out the clutter too... He'll usually pick one to take on an expensive vacation over that time. His logic is he can't very well spend all of the Holidays with each, so he might as well be pro-active and terminate things on his grounds, since they will be PO'ed either way. It also tends to make the women more receptive to get back together since he broke up with them - the logic works... The person who cares the least, controls the relationship.

Boring study

[Anonymous Coward]

A more insteresting study would be to know when you'll get LAID!

On the night of Valentine's day (10%), during summer holidays (45%) and late at new year's eve (40%). other (5%)

All three dates explained

[SmallFurryCreature]

Valentine: A. You didn't get her a present. B. Someone else got her a better one.

Spring break: She wants to get busy! But not with you.

Christmas: I got to introduce this to my family? No way!

Slashdot anniversary: If you know when it is, you ain't got a girlffriend... ever.

Quotes...

[Anonymous Coward]

I think someone forgot to quote "break up." It would certainly explain the increases leading up to spring *break* and Christmas *break* and well as returning to work on Monday after a weekend *break*. Just a thought...

Spring Break

[Anonymous Coward]

So people use the word 'break' in their status updates more around the time of Spring Break (whatever that is, IAITUK)...

Re:I'm getting married exactly two weeks before Ch

[Anonymous Coward]

Isn't it better to know early than to waste time being strung along? Trust but verify.

Suggestion

[Anonymous Coward]

Might I suggest that, immediately after Valentine's, some women might be casting men from their sight, appalled that their lovers could think of nothing more romantic than roses from the supermarket and dinner at Outback Steakhouse
 
You might, but one might also suggest that the people who are doing the dumping are too wishy-washy and think "Oh, but I can't break up with her and ruin her valentine's day, that's just cruel" and so decide to just prolong the pain.

Oops, forgot to mention...

[mcgrew]

That link explains at least one post-Valentine's breakup.

I picked her up outside the big building, and she was hopping mad. "That son of a bitch, that's the last straw. We're done!"

"Who?" I asked. The son of a bitch was, of course, her boyfriend. "He didn't get me any anything for Valentine's Day, and he came by when I was trying to dig my car out and didn't even offer to help!"

"What a gentleman," replied sarcastically as I opened her car door for her.

Um duh?

[Anonymous Coward]

What else would you expect, one is the date after the big reward for romance holiday where nobody wants to admit they're really not in a lasting relationship, the other two are right before periods where people expect to be able to break things off so they can go out and have some fun.

Who didn't know this?

Dinner and flowers

[Anonymous Coward]

appalled that their lovers could think of nothing more romantic than roses from the supermarket and dinner at Outback Steakhouse

If my wife, girlfriend or whatever is offended by those and decides to look elsewhere because of that, I'll say see ya bitch, go back to watching the bad girls club and Jersey shore with some other sucker!

Dead on this report is...

[rgviza]

My girlfriends usually dump me around November. I get a new one generally around late February. Happens like clockwork. I met the last one on Feb 9, we went out on our first date on March 3rd. Just got dumped yesterday. These guys are dead on.

what about...?

[Anonymous Coward]

What about "end of year breakup parties" like we used to have at school"?

Vday

[Anonymous Coward]

Another interesting correlation: Immediately after Valentine's Day is the easiest time of year to get a girl to cheat on her boyfriend.

Watch TED video.

[antdude]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pLqjQ55tz-U or http://www.ted.com/talks/david_mccandless_the_beauty_of_data_visualization.html ... It's not just about Facebook, it has other interesting contents on "the beauty of data visualization" -- "David McCandless turns complex data sets (like worldwide military spending, media buzz, Facebook status updates) into beautiful, simple diagrams that tease out unseen patterns and connections. Good design, he suggests, is the best way to navigate information glut -- and it may just change the way we see the world."

Reschedule Steak and a Blowjob Day ...

[Anonymous Coward]

... just to see if that skews their data in the future.

Suggested fixes

[mysidia]

Let's do away with valentines day, ban 'spring break', or at least close the beaches during that time.

And christmas is a religious holiday anyways, that should definitely be scrapped.

Once those are removed... that should do away with most breakups, right? Maybe get the divorce rates back down.

Then I bet Facebook would have a harder time being all creepy/stalker-like and predicting your break-up dates.

[P.S. No... not a serious suggestion, just a thought experiment]

love languages

[ooloogi]

Sounds like the "five love languages" which is based on that idea.

Re:I'm getting married exactly two weeks before Ch

[Anonymous Coward]

They did mean it. They just don't want to own up to it. women these days don't comprehend responsibility thanks to feminism.

MOD PARENT UP

[BenEnglishAtHome]

Matches my experience perfectly.

Uh oh!

[Anonymous Coward]

Must...hide....post....before wife finds out supermarket roses and Outback Steak House are unacceptable options for Valentines Day.....

Re:I'm getting married exactly two weeks before Ch

[2names]

Hi honey. I didn't know you had a /. account. I'll be home for dinner tonight.