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Review: Cowboys & Aliens
So let me be clear up front: I didn't hate it. The only movie this summer that I walked out of the theater thinking FAIL in capital letters was Green Lantern. So far everything else has had some sort of redeeming value. And this does too: solid production values, occasionally funny dialog, cool looking aliens, and a really awesome bad guy base/rocket ship is good fun.
The plot: Daniel Craig is a cowboy who wakes up with amnesia and a strange metal wrist band. He runs afoul of a punk kid with a rich daddy (Ford) in a town where blinking lights in the sky show up and lasso people away at night. So Craig and Ford and a ragtag assortment of town folk go looking for their kin, learning about the aliens, and growing beyond their cheesy racism with the local indians, and shooting pistols at alien space ships.
The sci-fi western is tough sod to trod. The winners (Firefly, Cowboy Bebop) have typically placed Cowboys into Outter Space, and not Aliens into the Old West. For me, this is because the whole old west/cowboy thing is kinda campy. Hollywood dried up that well over the years, leaving behind a legacy of great and terrible movies. But the Western has a visual vocabulary we all know. The Bar Hall Brawl. The standoff in main street between two gun-slingers. The Boozing and the Prostitutes. And of course the dialog conventions... that 1800s slang which is very fun to play with for a moment, and pretty annoying after awhile. Unless you are Malcolm Reynolds.
I think they did an ok job with their world. They never really break out of The Old West. With the exception of the super weapon that Craig has attached to his wrist, the good guys weapons are pistols, rifles, dynamite sticks which makes it all the more awesome fighting highly maneuverable alien fighter jets, as well as the more melee battles on the ground.
The aliens and their technology are a mixed bag. Their design is sort of like a turtle with a quatto to inside. We see 2 ships: one which is kinda a fighter that looks like a firefly, and one giant rocket base that is mostly underground and used to mine gold (which is explained, but really is done just for cool golden visuals scattered all around the film, and to justify alien presence and overall badness).
Should you see it? I enjoyed Captain America, Harry Potter, and Thor more. But this was better than Transformers 3 and Green Lantern. It's visually stylized. Sometimes charming. My wife thought Daniel Craig was just ok, where I found him to be pretty cool. I thought Harrison Ford to once again proves that he is just to old for this sort of work: Same problem with Indiana Jones the action just isn't believable any more- he looks and moves like an old man, and they edit it this stuff to make him look like he is doing more than he is instead of embracing the fact that he's an old guy shuffling around. He just doesn't pull it off. But he looks good in a hat.
But when I look at the producer credits, I can't help but feel like this just should have been better. There are 8 writers, including several of the Bad Robot regulars. The producers include the Ron Howard/Brian Grazer team, Steven Spielburg and those Lost guys again. I can't help but feel like when the dust settled, this was a film by committee. From the design to the script to the casting and somewhere through 8 writers and all these producers a bit of sparkle got sanded off.
But hey, next summer Pirates & Aliens? Ninjas & Aliens? I spent all night trying to decide what genre should encounter aliens next, and i have the answer: Alien & Aliens. Now THAT would be a movie.
The true sign of any picture I would avoid.
They already have an alien vs ninja =) : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alien_vs_Ninja
Pretty sure that's the guy who directed Shaving Ryan's Privates.
It's nothing like the comic and as AC posted there are eight writers which is a warning sign.
I was hoping there would be a high noon shootout, a crazy old prospector sidekick, the whore with a heart of gold and a six shooter between her boobs, saving an alien from being hung by the sheriff who's more crooked than the branch on the executioner's tree. Instead "Aliens are greedy like us. Supposedly killing off humans means they can get all our gold." Aliens who can travel interstellar distances have the need to exterminate humanity when 16-17th century tradesmen traded realty for shiny beads of glass then have the unmitigated gall to gift those natives with blankets full of cooties. Crappy films are good when they're crowdpleasers but there weren't any joyful moments where humanity got their comeuppance against the aliens.
I expected Blazing Saddles with anal probes. Instead I got JJ Abrams without lens flare.
Daniel Craig aka Vladimir Putin should be a Bond villain not James Bond. How do they explain him being a cowboy in this? The KGB sent him to spy on our cattle?
He changed name after doing that horrendous piece of shit called "War of the Worlds". To wash the shame away.
Turns out that wasn't enough!
...gis sdrawkcab (usually not responding to ACs; don't bother posting as AC)
Steven Spielberg's non-union Mexican equivalent.
Pirates & Ninjas, obviously!
The producers include the Ron Howard/Brian Grazer team, Steven Spielburg and those Lost guys again.
Wow, that just screams mediocre crap before the first scene even plays.
Same problem with Indiana Jones the action just isn't believable any more- he looks and moves like an old man
Ford seems to be one of those actors who just can't accept his age. And for some reason, everyone is still indulging him (maybe they're still starstruck from his younger days). Personally, he's one of the actors I would least want to ever have to work with. He comes off as an arrogant prick in just about every interview and the people who've worked with him don't ever seem to have many kind words for him (except Lucas and Spielburg, who both started working with him before he became so big). Basically, he's an old-school movie star who does everything HIS way and isn't going to listen to any direction at all, especially someone telling him "You're an old man now, and you look stupid as shit in a fight scene." And this is not the kind of movie he should be in anymore (not sure what in the hell Favreau was thinking).
SJW: Someone who has run out of real oppression, and has to fake it.
Remember Aliens VS Predator, which was another OK movie.
Seriously. I don't care what the critics say, it had cowboys, aliens, Olivia Wilde, Daniel Craig, and Harrison Ford. If you don't like it, then you, my friend, just don't know art.
Google: "All your data are belong to us."
C'mon, you know that's Señor Spielbergo.
Thought thinks itself.
Am I the only one that was hoping for a scene on a train, so that Harrison Ford could tell an alien to "Get off my train"?
The only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for it to be pitted against a slightly greater evil
Jürgen Prochnow as the prussian sabre scarred Zeppelin captain with a vast history and one last battle to prove! ...and i dunno...uh, John Malkovich as the psionically mentally linked Pterodactyl master - who, unlikely enough, has a past that overlaps Prochnow's ...yeah.
It might be worth seeing if it had Vin Diesel.
And I was really drunk.
It got you to want to shave. Come on, that's something! Sort of like how Michael Bay films give me dysentery.
Atlas Shrugged : Thematic Story
I always enjoy when someone comes along and says a movie isn't original, not noting the fact that there are no previous big release movies with Cowboys and Aliens that I can recall. I'm sure there may be some hidden in some B-Movie treasure trove, but the fact that a main line studio did this is refreshing rather than re-rehashing some remake done 4 times already.
The movie itself has familiar 'themes' but that's about it. If you go to that extreme, every movie and story told today has similar themes (boy meets girl, good vs bad, yada yada). The movie was better than usual summer fare, with an interesting plot and an unusual story idea. That is to be encouraged, especially when they managed to pull it off as well as they did.
No regrets seeing this one.
There are at least two different Han Solos. One of them shot first, the other shot in self defense. It's all very quantum.
500 dollar reward for tip(s) leading to the arrest of the person(s) who stole my sig.
To me it was a fun, marginally campy movie. Daniel Craig does a pretty good job playing the tough guy. I didn't go in looking for a life-changing experience, and I came of the theater having enjoyed myself.
I guess each has his own opinion, but I still don't understanding the hating some people have for this movie, given its limited ambitions in the first place.
Y'know, people need to just learn to turn off their brains once in a while. If you really wanna use your brains when you see a movie, don't go to the cinema at the mall, go to the art-house cinema in the college district.
This is where the genre of "popcorn movies" comes into play. It's not great, it's not bad, it's a movie you can enjoy so long as you've got a bit of popcorn to stuff in your face while you watch it. Quite frankly, the last "Steak and Potatoes" movie I saw was "Moon", and I left the theater incredibly happy. The last "Dinner and Nightcap" movie I saw was "Avatar", and I left THAT one a bit dizzy and giggly, wanting a cigarette.
But most of the summer offerings so far have been either Popcorn, or flat out Pepto-Bismol. "Percy Jackson and the Olympians" from last year is a perfect example of a Peptol-Bismol movie, and I'm glad I didn't see it in the theater, but got it from "a friend".
"Cowboys and Aliens"? I'd call this one a "Popcorn, Soda and Hot Dog" movie. It's not a "Steak and Potatoes" movie, but it's got more brains than just a popcorn. You don't need a brain, per se, but if you care to use it, you won't be terribly disappointed. You'll still be a bit peckish when you leave, but not sick over spending 10 bux.
[End Of Line]
So when is Cowboys vs Predators coming out?
Professor Karmadillo Songs of Science
Why would you look at a movie review article then? Let alone comment on one?
And Iron Man Director Jon Favreau has blown a pretty penny trying to make the whole thing work, getting the sexiest woman alive from Maxim a few years back, as well as a James Bond and a Han Solo to convince you to come to the theater and watch 6-shooters take on the little green men.
Huh... Sexy woman, Bond, and Solo? Perhaps we'll get the names of these three shortly...
The plot: Daniel Craig is a cowboy who wakes up with amnesia and a strange metal wrist band. He runs afoul of a punk kid with a rich daddy (Ford) in a town where blinking lights in the sky show up and lasso people away at night. So Craig and Ford and a ragtag assortment of town folk go looking for their kin, learning about the aliens, and growing beyond their cheesy racism with the local indians, and shooting pistols at alien space ships.
Well, that's two. What about her name?
She's the lead actress, the love interest, and, in your words, the "sexiest woman alive"? Come on, Taco... Surely she has a name, or were you too busy spanking it to her tits to bother looking it up? She even shares top billing on the goddamn poster.
Frankly, Olivia Wilde deserves better than this shiat review.
Steven Spielburgh. He makes all the movies filmed in Pittsburgh.
I'm a good cook. I'm a fantastic eater. - Steven Brust