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Orange Goo Invades Alaskan Village
s31523 writes "When the residents of the Alaskan village of Kivalina woke up last week, the unexpected sight of an orange goo covering the surface of the water was quite alarming. Suspecting a oil spill or some other man-made disaster, the residents worried about the toxicity of the substance. After NOAA investigated, it was found the that goo is an unknown type of microscopic eggs. According to NOAA scientist Keep Rice, 'We now think these are some sort of small crustacean egg or embryo, with a lipid oil droplet in the middle causing the orange color.' More work is needed to identify what the eggs are and what caused them to show up."
Have any of them tried running across the water at super speed?
which is totally what she said
All of the stories I've read say that the world ends from Grey Goo. So Alaska is safe!
His brother Store Grain says it was all a hoax.
-Malakai
A Dragon Lives in my Garage
Orange Nanites are taking over, and this is the first wave of their invasion force.
"I don't drink water; fish fuck in it" -- W.C. Fields
Look on the bright side, it's better than Orange Poo!
I have orange goo in my pants!
Back in them days, Jimmy, we was called the "EuEsAy" and you could walk the streets right out in the open without a rifle. Not an alien in sight, if you can believe that. Then them damn eggs came.
SJW: Someone who has run out of real oppression, and has to fake it.
Has 2Dboy introduced a new type of Goo balls in an update I haven't heard of?
According to a ton of different reports on Google news, the substance was tested and found to be crustacean eggs of some type.
So crustaceans: crabs, lobsters, crayfish, shrimp, krill and barnacles. Considering the location and volume, I'm suspecting something like a huge krill spawn that was swept onto the shore by unusual currents, a storm system or the like. As for it being toxic, that's pretty laughable. Toxic crustaceans are very few and far between (one that hasn't been eating toxic algae, and considering these are eggs, they haven't been eating anything).
As far the natives not seeing anything like this before... well it's a big planet. Completely natural, explainable things happen all over the globe every day that haven't happened in that particular spot for hundreds if not thousands of years.
You catch enchiladas by picking them up behind the head and holding them underwater until they don't kick anymore -VeGas
orange you glad I didn't say banana?
sysadmins and parents of newborns get the same amount of sleep.
It's plain as sin! Jellyfish Eggs of course!
Geekism is your _only_ God!
' More work is needed to identify what the eggs are and what caused them to show up." What kind of statement is this? Obviously the culprit is the global warming. What else?
Japanese travel agents offer new scoop-it-yourself Alaskan sushi tours...
I hope they show mercy :)
Warning Kraken spawn.
Time to offend someone
Hysterical Alaskan Villager: Look at that orange goo! What is it?! Chemicals?! Oil Spill?! Industrial Waste?! We're all DOOOOOOMMMMED!!!!
NOAA Scientist: No need for alarm! It's only billions of eggs of a rare species of crustaceans that, when they hatch, will burrow into your skulls and parasitize your brains. But no worries, they're all natural and have been around for millions of years. It's just part of that wonderful cornucopia of wild life that we evil humans have been destroying with our unsustainable and unnatural way of life.
Hysterical Alaskan Villager: *Whew* Thank goodness it isn't some nasty byproduct of our immoral industrial civilization. I feel so relieved!
NOAA Scientist: Carry on as usual, good earth-friend. Well, for the next few days anyway. What's the quickest way out of town? I have an appointment elsewhere...
Sorry, but is this the sequel to Tim Burton's Cadavre Exquis?
that featured a red or orange sort of organism spreading across the Earth, forcing humanity to escape to the moon. I forgot the title of the story, though, and can't find it.
Just sayin.
Please do not read this sig. Thank you.
the opening for battlefield:alaska. they saw how LA didn't work so they are starting with our smallest towns.
But halfway through defendin' Alaska from the crustacean overlords, she quit to go have a lucrative career on Fox News. The crustaceans took over.
The Doctor. Wait for the Doctor. He will know how to deal with it. I can hear the sound of the Tardis...
She can't run until she has enough to get her through the next election.
Since this is Slashdot, I have to assume the orange goo comes from either a Microsoft security flaw, or a privacy issue with facebook.
I was under impression she was busy running for prez?
Fella, you obviously never hunted crustacean. They ain't noble prey like bear or wolves, what you simply have to outthink. They ain't vermin like rabbits or coons neither, what you can pick off one at a time. Your rifle is useless against the Krill.
If I had mod points...
MY 40mm automatic repeating rifle with explosive rounds is mighty effective against the krill.. as long as I'm not overrun as this dang thing is mighty heavy to move.
I can explode a coyote from well over 1500 yards with this beautiful gun.
Do not look at laser with remaining good eye.
Weird. I did some checking and apparently his real name is Jeep Rice. Really!
Keep Rice was a typo, and that typo is now being propagated all over the Inter-Tubes by trusting bloggers and news aggregators who don't check their facts. (And speaking of Inter-Tubes, he works at the Ted Stevens Marine Research Institute.)
More work is needed to identify ... what caused them to show up."
Well, the first step is when Mommy and Daddy crustacean come to love each other very much...
Wasn't there another example of this up in Alaska? The mysterious dark goo that showed up that was really just a "slick" of algae?
What makes Alaska attract all this weird stuff?
Oh wait...
I wonder if the lipid oil in the eggs could be used as a renewable energy source, or petrol replacement for the numerous products made from conventional oil.
If so, it's probably caused by a nearby Boneshaker. Look out for zombies.
https://app.box.com/WitthoftResume Code: https://github.com/cellocgw
Given the continuing rise in ocean temperatures, and given the fact that northern latitudes have experienced a marked warming in recent years, it seems to me a reasonable speculation that this bloom is at least in part temperature related.
This and no other is the root from which a tyrant springs; when first he appears as a protector - Plato (423 to 327 BC)
"More work is needed to identify what the eggs are and what caused them to show up." SOP for identification: 1. Purchase jar of Paul Newman pasta sauce. 2. Eat pasta sauce on pasta of choice. 3. Wash out jar. 4. Go down to beach and put some eggs and seawater into jar. 5. Take jar back to the lab and keep it aerated and at sea temperature until eggs hatch. 6. GIS whatever the hell swims out.
If Slashdot were chemistry it would look like this:Cadaverine
Quick hit it with something cold!
Soylent Orange is Crustaceans!
I only post comments when someone on the internet is wrong.
here's his ancient chinese secret...
Caviar prices took a dramatic plunge on the futures markets today...
Sometimes the light at the end of the tunnel is the headlight of an oncoming train.
Remember that show Surface?
"Sic Semper Tyrannosaurus Rex."
It may be five years early, but we can now expect humanity to transform into nothing but orange goo and form a hivemind, while a large purple organic robot flies into space.
That is not the worst of it. Every drop of water has passed through the bladders of many fish over and over again. The world's so-called water supply is nothing more than multi-passed fish urine.
Slashdot is once again on the leading edge of regurgitating old news headlines while providing less information than the Google News article summary from several days ago.
Taco, it is seriously time to consider turning over the reigns to someone who actually cares at all about this website. This is just getting more pathetic by the day.
Must be mating season on Decapod 10
I'd avoid picking up any 'Alaskan Caviar' from Whole Foods for a while. Same goes for the orange sherbet soon to be available at Long John Silvers.
"I don't breathe air; people fuck in it" --me.
Some fish had a really really good orgasm.
Haha. "Toxic spill."
The yolk's on them!
Who is Senator Palin? We have Senator Murkowski and Senator Begich as well as Congressman Young, but I've never heard of Senator Palin.
Oh, you meant (former) GOVERNOR Palin...
MCSE? No, sir...I don't do Windows. Yes, I am an idealist. What's your point?
The fact the fish were playing Berry White albums should have been a clue.
...what does it taste like? Surely someone has tried it.
and was also seen floating on top of buckets used to collect rainwater, following a downpour.
How do crustacean eggs get from the ocean to buckets for collecting rainwater?
Ask Charles Fort.
Or that whiz-kid in "Magnolia".
the preceding comment is my own and in no way reflects the opinion of the Joint Chiefs of Staff
damn lowlife guidos
go back to "Jersey Shore".
the preceding comment is my own and in no way reflects the opinion of the Joint Chiefs of Staff
"I don't drink water; fish fuck in it" -- W.C. Fields
This guy should just admit it, and come out of the water closet.
Escher was the first MC and Giger invented the HR department.
anyone besides me thinking about how these would taste if they are deep fried?
welcome our new orange goo covered overloads.
But do these eggs taste good?
he did admit he sometimes imbibed the dihydrogen monoxide: "Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. ". But he wasn't always a boozer, "A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her."
Supply Depots in front of bunkers. Upgraded range Marines x 4 later drop in a ghost or two for ultra range.
Backup with a few turrets and seige tanks for the win.
I only look human.
My mother is a halfling and my dad is an ogre, so that makes me an Ogreling
NATO used to pitch blue forces against orange invaders in all of their simulations. Orange of course being code for Red.
Hopefully, once these things hatch some teenagers will make it to the mountains and then save as all
Fish don't "fuck". They just swim by the eggs and ejaculate.
Although that just makes WC's remark sound even more gruesome.
A Pirate and a Puritan look the same on a balance sheet.
False, some fish do fuck. The male organ on some fish is a gonopodium, which becomes erect and is inserted into the female's cloaca. Such fish bear live young. One such fish you may have heard of is the Guppy.
had to look it up, couldn't remember the word, but another organ that certain other fish (including sharks) have is called a valva or clasper, which is inserted into the vagina of the female. So sharks fuck too.
This would suggest the existence of a sequel to Jaws based on the application of Rule 34.
What happens when billions of crustaceans hatch from these eggs and start invading the village?
Reminds me of an episode of Unsolved mysteries where green goop blanketed a whole town one night. People got sick from it. Tests revealed there was human blood cells in the goop.
Can't find any pictures, but here's a collection of news articles about it: http://www.rumormillnews.com/cgi-bin/archive.cgi?read=187500
Free unix account: freeshell.org
available at Amazon
I've seen it, search for shark humps a whale.
"You're right," Fisheye says. "I should have set it on 'whip' or 'chop.'"
Don't walk... RUN!
At the end of the movie, the blob was sent down into the arctic waters to freeze, maybe it found a way to come back, what ever you do, dont touch it!!!
Water that's passed through that many Kidneys must be extremely pure