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Airline to Offer In-Flight Adult Movies
Soon the loud passenger who's had too much to drink on your red-eye flight will be the least of your travel worries. Ryanair Airlines chief Michael O'Leary plans to launch an app that will allow passengers to watch porn on their tablets and smartphones during flight. Mr O'Leary told the Sun: "I'm not talking about having it on screens on the back of seats for everyone to see. It would be on handheld devices. Hotels around the world have it, so why wouldn't we?" Best of all, the app could also be used to gamble or play games in case you got bored during the speaking parts of your in-flight adult movie.
You know, the one from the early 90's with a bunch of guys sitting around talking. David Spade says "I knew I should wear a condom...but I figured, hey, when was I ever going to be in Guam again?" Phil Hartman says "I know the guy is coming out of prison, but he says he wants to turn his life around, so Sheila and I are going to give him a place to stay." Bob Odenkirk says "I know it's over, but I'm going to tell my wife about that affair", and so on...
Anyone remember that skit?
SJW: Someone who has run out of real oppression, and has to fake it.
Warm tube socks in first class.
It's Ryan Air, O'Leary pull these type of stunts every other month just for the free PR
If there was ever an article that should be tagged "What could possibly go wrong?" it's this one...
Now not only do I have to worry about being seated next to a crying baby, but also if I'll get seated next to a jerk-off. Sounds like a great idea. (rolls eyes)
Did you ever wake up in the morning, with a Zombie Woof behind your eyes? -- FZ
I'm really not sure that I want to be flying on an airline whose chief can't tell the difference between a private hotel room and an airplane with dozens of other people sitting right next to you.
Preferably handheld devices that can be held in one hand.
-Turkey
"...when was ever going to be in Haiti again?"
While I'm sure Guam has its own risks, I think at the time the risk of AIDS in Haiti was the "bad idea" behind that particular stunt..
oh... and they can enjoy the bad press when some drunk guy decides to just pleasure himself in the isle.
This is a stupid idea... whatever money they make from it will be lost many times over by other factors.
I've decided to stop wasting my time responding to AC trolls/sockpuppets... so if you want a response from me... login.
And have the flight attendants give blowjobs instead.
a particular brand of tablets that won't stand for content like this. Won't their in-flight entertainment application be banned from the store?
I like to watch girls 'lay eggs' then cluck like chickens. Anybody got a problem with me watching that during the flight? What if I'm eating a hard boiled egg while watching?
> handheld devices
I am pretty sure any HR department worth its salt will shut this down...can you imagine the lawsuits from flight attendant unions?
I wouldn't trust those blankets.
The Cloud - because you don't care if your apps and data are up in the air.
If people do not watch porn on their own mobile devices in public places such as planes, it MUST be because the airline does not offer an APP for that.
O'Leary is a master at using trolling for free publicity (see his previous proposals for standing-room-only flights and charging passengers to use the toilet, which as far as I know have not come to pass). This is just more free advertising for Ryanair.
(1) Ryanair are well-known for making their customers jump through ludicrous hoops to get the misleadingly low advertised price (i.e. you won't) and then nickel and dime them every step of the way. If this is for real, it'll be blatantly (and grossly) overpriced to squeeze yet more money out of the customers. Don't waste your time. Oh, and more importantly...
(2) Michael O'Leary is a well-known attention whore who announces "controversial" ideas like this he knows damn well won't fly^h^h^h go ahead anyway, but will get plenty of attention from the papers in the meantime. It seems to work too, but damned if *I'm* going to dignify the tedious p**** by taking his bullshit seriously.
"Slashdot - News and Chat Sites Deviant". (Click "homepage" link above for details).
Mr O'Leary told the Sun: "Hotels around the world have it, so why wouldn't we?"
Because an airline seat isn't a private hotel room? If I worked at Ryanair, I'd be a little concerned that Mr. O'Leary doesn't seem to understand some of the fundamental distinctions between airplanes and hotel rooms...
My thoughts exactly. I had to look at my calendar to confirm it wasn't April 1st. Regardless of people's desire to apparently have limitless access to porn 24/7 and that most people that determined to be looking at smut on a flight can download it to their phones easily enough, I am still trying to fathom that there's a universe and market niche that actually feels compelled to look at porn while in flight, surrounded by hundreds of people. Is the airline also going to hand out tissue packs and "spank screens" so its customers can jerk off in private? If this is the best the CEO can come up with to increase his airline's profile, he needs to be shown the door.
This is a PR stunt. They don't plan to do this, just want to get people doing about their airline. This is the same airline that "announced" plans to remove seats and have people stand, and charge to use the toilet on short-hall flights. They have no intention of doing this, they just want your attention.
And this is different from my tablet exactly how?
Kriston
This is the same airline that claimed they were looking to implement a fee to use the bathroom.
This, too, is just a publicity stunt for the notorious Ryanair. Thanks for the free Slashvertisement!
And what is so bad about adult entertainment? People like to watch hollywood movies during flights too. If some find porn more interesting, so what?
Ryan Air does this all the time. The make outrageous annoucements like this, get massive media attention and never follow through. They haven't started charging for the bathrooms, they haven't got rid of the seats to fit more passengers and they won't be offering in-flight porn.
Remember those gorgeous young women in thight uniforms? Well. Good news everyone! They kept them on and retirement age be damned! Some need a zimmer frame to get around. The young ones that is.
MMO Quests are like orgasms:
You may solo them, I prefer them in a group.
This has got to be a new low or high on the list of bad ideas. Are they going to provide extra bathrooms on these flights?
Seriously just stop. Put it down.
It's more that, traditionally, playing pocket billiards is done at home, by your self, or with a very good friend, and not in a cramped tin box sitting next to a stranger.
also, Aircraft air is stale enough without adding the musty odour of after-sex.
It pays to be obvious, especially if you have a reputation for being subtle.
Maybe it's a trick to raise the prices of the window seats.
"I'm not talking about having it on screens on the back of seats for everyone to see."
This is just a lawsuit waiting to happen. From whom? Take your pick: the flight attendants, the person sitting in the window seat who can't relocate to another seat, the parents of the kids sitting across from the aisle, etc, etc.
"It would be on handheld devices."
In case it isn't obvious, a horizontal screen isn't much different than a vertical screen, in terms of viewing angles.
"Hotels around the world have it, so why wouldn't we?"
A hotel room isn't shared with multiple people whom you don't know.
There are some comments here that say that this is nothing but advertising for Ryanair. Well, it worked: I didn't know about their existence before now. And if the airline ever comes to Australia I'm going to avoid them, because I don't want to be stuck next to a person watching offensive material on their handheld.
I wonder if someone has a website of European budget carriers that allow this . . . because I could easily see Vuelling and Czech Air jumping on this. This is important stuff, folks. Otherwise, I'm taking sheets of plastic with me when I travel.
I scream. You scream. I assume that means we're both acquainted with the problem. We proceed.
Will they be forced to sit in the back of the plane?
And here is what happens at libraries that don't have "private booths"
http://pittsburgh.cbslocal.com/2011/10/25/man-arrested-after-reportedly-watching-porn-on-library-computer/
This is Michael O'Leary just drumming up some free PR by proposing something completely outrageous so that it gets mentioned in all the papers. Last time it was suggesting that they'd charge people to go to the toilet.
That proposal (like this one) will never actually happen.
Avantslash - View Slashdot cleanly on your mobile phone.
If they charge per-view, they could make a lot of money on men trying to beat away their cabin-pressure induced in-flight hardon (won't work and would probably be quite painful - it would be exactly like jacking off with a full-bladder-hardon).
"When information is power, privacy is freedom" - Jah-Wren Ryel
Well 2 huge flaws, 1. The intent of porn tends to cause a physical change in male viewers that other passengers would rather not witness. 2. I'm as much against censoring of porn and such as anyone else, but when someone is going to play it in visible view of my 5 year old without my consent, that is where the line has to be drawn.
O'Leary and Ryanair float these stupid ideas every 6 months - charging for toilets, making everyone stand up etc. I guess it's one way to gain free publicity.
1. Someone sits next to me.
2. I take their picture with my camera.
3. I wonder aloud if perhaps I should the picture and video of what they're watching on YouTube.
4. Profit.
Advice: on VPS providers
Ryanair's boss Michael O'Leary is known for this kind of brainfarts. He knows the press will talk about it for days, so it is all free publicity. He gives a rats ass about the image of the company, since its image is that they are cheap. More of his brilliant ideas: paying for toilets, flying without co-pilot and having a flight attended land it in case of trouble and airplanes with standing room only. They run some provoking advertisements too, like giving the finger to their competitors, or giving holiday suggestions for Berlusconi (he finally resigned a few hours ago!).
karma police: arrest this man, he talks in maths; he buzzes like a fridge, he's like a detuned radio. [radiohead]
I like boobies like the next guy, but if you can't go a flight without needing to watch porn before you get home, something is really wrong with you.
IG
when the flight is over and you're in line to leave the plane.
insensitive clod overlords obligatory xkcd car analogy russian reversals whoosh pedant fanbois ftfy in 3...2...1..PROFIT
The question is whether you can get the stewardess to take it now.
And they could sell KY in-flight at $5 for a tiny single-use tube.
the Gates-as-Borg image can't hold a candle to this.
It's RyanAir; this is just a publicity stunt since O'Leary hasn't been in the new recently for stating stupid ideas that'll never happen.
It doesn't mean much now, it's built for the future.
Now that is what I call a sticky situation!
And why would you need a app to watch porn on your own tablet/smartphone?
Troll is not a replacement for I disagree.
Would you say the same if you saw a naked ugly couple going at it right at the front entrance to your favorite store?
But from where I sat, I could clearly see it. And it wasn't just a Playboy ("....for the interviews"). It was one of those "under the counter"-mags.
I've no problem with people reading and watching all kinds of (legal) stuff in their own homes, preferably with the blinds shut, but on a train? ....
Eek.
Worst thing, on a train, I can just leave at the next station of go to the next compartment - not so on a plane.
But I'm sure, RyanAir would love to charge extra for the hand-sanitizer and the disposable toilet-seat covers
Windows 2000 - from the guys who brought us edlin
Ahem. Because in the plane there is no hotel room around the person?
Anybody who thinks its appropriate to watch an adult movie on his tablet while sitting 30cm away from the neighbor can already do that if he downloads the movie before.
...and not in a cramped tin box sitting next to a stranger.
Speak for yourself.
What the hell good is it if my hands are busy holding my damned tablet or phone!
Bonair!
You haven't taken a Metro Transit bus in Seattle for some time, have you?
Have gnu, will travel.
It should be noted that the RyanAir proposal would actually have eliminated that problem, since he went into a rage when he was PREVENTED from looking at porn...
"There is more worth loving than we have strength to love." - Brian Jay Stanley
Personally I would just shrug and hop over them and go about my day.
I said traditionally.
It pays to be obvious, especially if you have a reputation for being subtle.
So let me get this straight... I have a handheld device that belongs to me, (and therefore already has over 50% of its longterm memory filled with porn), and they're offering a service that lets me download porn in the air? I can do that for free before I get on the plane, so... WTF is the point of this? Want to make people pay, hire a bunch of prostitutes to work as flight attendants, then make it understood that for a fee, anyone can join the mile high club, with a hot, sexy flight attendant... THAT would make some money. Call it WhoreAir. Actually, I think someone already did that...
Hotels around the world have it, so why wouldn't we?
That's a terrible comparison, hotels give you your own private room.
I'd rather not be stuck in a plastic tube 30,000 feet in the air with a bunch of wankers.
What do I know, I'm just an idiot, right?
Kids have ages where they mature, ages where they repeat everything they see whether they are old enough to understand it or not at the location where it is least appropriate. When my son was 3 he heard me mutter ah shit. He didn't repeat it, I thought I was in the clear, until the next time he saw his grandma and repeated it 40 times. Now ready to imagine what the end result would be if say a 2-3 year old were to pull off his diaper and attempt to re-enact something he'd seen at a pre-school. If the parent is lucky the child will just get thrown out of the school, if not DSS can have the power to assume the parent is unfit. All because some other jerk that the parent has no control over, couldn't wait for the plane to land?
If some find porn more interesting, so what?
You really want to be sat next to somebody with an erection for a few hours? What about when they get up and head for the bathroom doing the "I have an erection" walk? Should we really have to watch that?
Societies have things called 'taboos' for a reason...
No sig today...
There is no line to be drawn. It is for you to educate your 5 year old about reality.
Why not hand the kid a reefer to smoke later as part of your "educational program"...?
No sig today...
With the erection it's even worse! We need more space.
Why not make an analogy that, I dunno, makes sense?
If you believe in privacy, and believe you have "nothing to hide" at the same time, you're a goddammed idiot
If he doesn't flaunt the erection, none of my business - and why are you watching that part of him while he walks to begin with? [you kinda walked yourself into that one]\\
If you believe in privacy, and believe you have "nothing to hide" at the same time, you're a goddammed idiot
Would you say the same if you saw a naked ugly couple going at it right at the front entrance to your favorite store?
Well, yeah... typically the only people that would be distraught
over that are people that were taught that the naked body is
shameful and that sex is dirty, etc.
I wasn't, I guess you were?
Personally I would just shrug and hop over them and go about my day.
Lol, that's funny, you're imagining missionary while I was imagining,
the tree or camel's hump or suspended congress. And why they gotta
be in your way? Let's talk about this.
-AI
For me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion
There's no reason for preventing semen in planes.
From what I've heard, if you're flying Ryanair, you've already been screwed hard. Porn just seems redundant at that point.
"if she gets pregnant, I'll be long gone" was how I read that
I listen to both RIAA and non-RIAA stuff if I like the music, tangential business/politics nonwithstanding.
Seriously, who the fuck would want to watch a porn movie in a crowded airplane?
When he's got the window seat and you've got the aisle, his business becomes your business.
...following the principles of Heisenburger's Uncertain Cat...
You haven't taken a Metro Transit bus in Seattle for some time, have you?
Damn those metrosexuals.
Jesus was a compassionate social conservative who called individuals to sin no more.
That was good!
http://www.hulu.com/watch/10310/saturday-night-live-bad-idea-jeans
The GP's reason is probably something along the lines of this eyetracking study:
Why do men assess genitalia? I don't know, but it is a repeatable phenomenon, so you may as well accept it rather than castigating the GP for "looking".
Class man; class. Even if you get a +5 funny for this it just won't be enough.
=~ s,(.*),<sarcasm>$1</sarcasm>,g if any_point_you_wish();
Is he deliberately being a troll here? What's the difference between hotelrooms and planes? Maybe the fact that you have privacy in a hotelroom? And how does this match up with the reports of a few weeks ago to remove all toilets?
Small tip for Mr. O'Leary: put small booths in the plane with a coin slot so you can get some more money from your patrons while they jack themselves off.
And what is so bad about adult entertainment? People like to watch hollywood movies during flights too. If some find porn more interesting, so what?
Sure, and people have to go to the toilet so why not let them do it in their seats as well?
Some activities should be private. When you watch adult films in a hotel, you do it in your own room, not the fucking restaurant.
To have a right to do a thing is not at all the same as to be right in doing it
[..] but when someone is going to play it in visible view of my 5 year old without my consent, that is where the line has to be drawn.
There is no line to be drawn. It is for you to educate your 5 year old about reality. "Peoples watch porn, it is a work fiction that do not reflect reality and certainly do not reflect the puritan value i try to force on you. When you reach puberty you may like to watch porn too, but i will punish you if i find about it." See, that wasn't too hard. IT IS NOT FOR EVERYONE AROUND YOU TO BE CAREFUL BECAUSE YOU WAND YOUR KID AROUND. YOUR KID IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY.
You need to post your retarded rant in a releant thread, wankstain.
To have a right to do a thing is not at all the same as to be right in doing it
Why don't you come round to where I live, start wanking in front of some children, then see how long your body lasts out under the prolonged beating you will receive?.
OP was talking about wanking to pr0n front of a 5 year old, both of you are disgusting paedophiles with laughably small genitals and the intelligence of soup spoons.
Posted anonymously, because the retard slashdot paedophile apologists get mod points too.
It's RyanAir; this is just a publicity stunt
Exactly. This is the same airline that makes new aircraft designs to charge people to go to the toilet (imagine if two people become sick on the same flight!) and/or have standing rather than sitting positions (imagine an evacuation from a plane which will not have been designed for such passenger density) . Their business model is basically that people believe that if the customer service is worse, the flight must be cheaper. They make it quite difficult to compare (they have tickets online for about 10UKP but the price quoted up front never includes baggage or check in (up to 55UKP online + 100UKP at the airport for a standard airline 25kg allowance), for example and in order to get it you have to use their own special card or you will have to pay an additional administration fee.
Ryanair, having tricked you into paying more than an equivalent standard airline, will then, typically, dump you at some random airport not even close to the airport you were meant to go to and fail to arrange transport to your original destination.
It sometimes happens that people travel RyanAir because it has a monopoly on a particular route, but it seems to me that it's mostly because they just don't realise how much they are being ripped off. Avoid, or if you do take up with RyanAir, remember that the only form of communication they accept is through the small claims court. Always buy with a credit card and be ready to cancel the charge. Send in your demands for a refund of any additional costs you had to bear (by registered mail; forget the phone), but give a deadline and after they ignore them start with the small claims court. Since the courts know they are a bunch of cheats, if you provide reasonable evidence you will get your money.
=~ s,(.*),<sarcasm>$1</sarcasm>,g if any_point_you_wish();
That was one of the first things I thought of, I don't need an app to watch adult (or any kind) of movie/TV on my tablet.
Ryanair can be a reasonable option in some circumstances.
If you're flying to London, then Stansted and Luton are only a little less-connected than Gatwick (5-10 minutes more travelling time, similar cost). In some cities the 'small' airport used by Ryanair can be more convenient -- e.g. Gothenberg City is nearer the centre of Gothenberg.
I've flown from London to places in Eastern Europe with Ryanair. If the destination only has one airport (e.g. Bratislava) then it shouldn't be a problem -- there will be buses to the centre of town.
Book the luggage and everything else online, or travel with hand luggage only (weigh it). Remember to include these costs when comparing with other airlines -- but remember easyJet (etc) also charge for luggage and paying by card. I have the appropriate credit card to avoid Ryanair's 'admin' fees (here), I flew to Brno for £14.99 (as advertised, with hand luggage only) + ~£20 for the train to Luton.
The last few times I've flown with easyJet the flight has been late. They fly to main airports, but they're still cheap and will be last in line for a landing slot and gate if there's congestion. You get what you pay for, after all. I'm beginning to think being reliably on-time but further from the city with Ryanair is better than being late and a little nearer with easyJet.
Is porn, other "adult" content, greed the reason the world looks at the USA with disdain?
All we read-about in international press is how to screw-the poor, and also the porn stars.
your zipper to it's full upright and locked position, stewardesses will be going up and down the aisles to collect discarded kleenex and un-used lotion bottles....
There was a guy banned from a bus here in Canberra for watching porn on his phone. Mind you, he kept making a deal about it and sitting next to women so that they could see/hear it. Some people will already be doing this on planes, I see no need to enable more people to do it. "Now do I give her the ass, or the crotch" will have a whole new meaning
Cheers, Chris
Why don't you come round to where I live, start wanking in front of some children, then see how long your body lasts out under the prolonged beating you will receive?.
OP was talking about wanking to pr0n front of a 5 year old, both of you are disgusting paedophiles with laughably small genitals and the intelligence of soup spoons.
Posted anonymously, because the retard slashdot paedophile apologists get mod points too.
No, you posted anonymously because you are ashamed of your
body and YOU ARE probably the pedophile that you keep
referring to.
Cause who the fuck brought up wanking in public in front of kids FFS?
{I} was posting directly to the statement that {I} quoted in my reply.
AND NOTHING ELSE!
Do not distort the truth with your illusions.
-AI
Furthermore [I suggest against attacking those 'in the field' when
you are reeking of insecurities]. Anyone with Psych 101 under their
belt, now also knows you have a small pee pee. [sic] And that you
are male, since you are describing intimately violent actions that are
not commonly fantasized by in females. {This is obv aside from the
forum's purported M/F ratio} We also know that you were abused.
I'm sorry for that. That is why I got into the field. To help those that are
preyed on by those that were preyed upon and so on and to break the
tragic cycle that occurs as as result. To wit... I'm sure you also abuse
women, now let me justify that. I didn't say physically, cause I presume
well,... that you are a pussy [since you aren't even able to post under
the veil of pseudo-anonymity but had to opt for full Anon COWARD].
But I bet you mentally beat down any woman that gives two craps about
you any chance you get. Email me, seriously... I do a ton of pro bono,
you need it. Society needs you to need it. Before you do something
that can't be undone.
For me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion