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Stolen Maple Syrup Found and Returned To Strategic Reserve
First time accepted submitter bmxeroh writes "Remember the tragic maple syrup heist? Police have seized more than 600 barrels of maple syrup they say are related to the missing syrup. It was transported back to Quebec via a 16 tractor trailer, heavily guarded (and presumably heavily armed) convoy Wednesday."
Someone came to a sticky end :)
Build a Man a Fire, and He'll Be Warm for a Day. Set a Man on Fire, and He'll Be Warm for the Rest of His Life.
So far, the only significant bit of evidence found at the scene where these barrels were retrieved was the cryptic phrase B. Worth, written in syrup on the floor.
This space unintentionally left blank.
Sounds like the leaked Ocean's 14 script.
Those Canadians really are serious about their maple syrup.
No maple syrup for Iran this week...
Thank God! This could have turned into a real sticky situation!
Did they test it for poison, or did they just put it back in the reserve without testing? There was no chain of custody during the time it was missing, after all.
I just don't understand how someone makes off with half a million gallons (possibly more, mind you) without tipping anybody off.
Bacon Shortage. Stolen Maple Syrup. Clearly there is an international threat to our wholesome breakfast way of life. But where to the Presidential Candidates stand on this issue? Clearly the moderator dropped the ball by not bringing up this vital issue of world peace and security during the debate.
Schroedinger's Brexit: The UK is both in and out of the EU at the same time!
heavily guarded (and presumably heavily armed)
Woah, woah, woah...
It isn't the USA, put those guns away.
Old school hoser meth,
I'm from Europe and I don't really get why a strategic reserve of maple syrup is needed... Do you plan on living on maple syrup in case of a nuclear holocaust?
Won't somebody think of the saplings!
I could've sworn I was reading Slashdot... do nerds like maple syrup more than most people?
systemd is Roko's Basilisk.
The short and long of it - any strange trades in syrup futures?
From the article:
Etienne St-Pierre said his usual suppliers, small producers based in Quebec, sold it to him.
This made me think: basically, a foodstuff was sold to someone who'll sell it to the public later on. He didn't ask about the source of the foodstuff, didn't check for quality, didn't check for adulteration, didn't check for chemical or biological contaminants - NOR DID HE KNOW SHIT whether anyone has done such tests.
He could have gotten maple syrup laced with anthrax, and would have sold it forward, and noone would have been the wiser.
"The agriculture ministry is not in charge of Gundam" - Japanese ministry official.
If some nefarious group really wanted to poison people, there are a lot less flamboyant and troublesome ways to get your poison into the food supply. For example, why not just contaminate the supply? If they can break into the reserve and go undetected long enough to siphon off hundreds of gallons of the stuff, that's surely long enough to poison the whole reserve. Much easier.
The stuff's really valuable, right? That's why they keep a strategic reserve in the first place, after all. So the motive is obvious - money. And pure maple syrup is worth more than contaminated deadly maple syrup. A lot more. So poisoning the maple syrup would be a really boneheaded move.
Only movie crooks would come up with a plan that involves stealing hundreds of gallons of valuable merchandise, moving it across a border, then poisoning it and letting it be recovered. About the only thing missing are the sharks with frickin laser beams.
And that is all I have to say about this....
rm -rf --no-preserve-root /
Its just a slightly nauseating sticky syrup that few people outside of canada and the US actually like. Whats the big deal if some of it got stolen? What next - the great cheese heist when some stilton is escorted back home by (gas mark equipped) guards?
Fort Knox had Goldfinger. Who is Quebec's Stickyfinger?
One fried egg over easy
Grated Irish Cheese
3 (or 4, or 5, or 6, or 10) strips of thick-cut bacon
1 tbsp maple syrup
Make a sandwich out of it and grill to perfection
You know you want it
Ah yes, the ever expanding "strategic Reserve" of maple syrup. This reserve is all about keeping the price of syrup as high as possible = lots does not sell. When the crop is low, they let the price rise and also sell a little from the reserve to fund the process. This much like the price control they exert over chickens, eggs, milk and cheese, by so called marketing boards that do not allow competition = we all pay more.
It was transported back to Quebec via a 16 tractor trailer, heavily guarded (and presumably heavily armed)
I'd like to know how somebody was able get access to the strategic reserve of anything. But I guess if an 82 year old nun can break into a nuclear facility damn near anything's possible. But then to be able to leave with 16 tractor trailers worth of it? If the convoy returning it was "heavily guarded" was the facility not guarded too? Did the thieves steal it using a 16 vehicle convoy? Or did somebody who worked there smuggle it out one bottle at a time in their lunch box over the last 120 years? And, more to the point, what in the hell were they planning to do with it? Was a Telly Savalas look-a-like stroking a white Persian cat while monologuing about world domination through controlling the worlds maple syrup supply? Or was it part of a bigger plot to take over the world by controlling breakfast food?
Neither one of them use actual maple syrup, so the frame job would appear to trying to make the other one less of a fraud...
Can you be Even More Awesome?!
(In a french-belgian accent) Nooo, you are not gonna stick this on me.
Nuclear materials? Antibiotics for anthrax?
E Proelio Veritas.
*pours maple syrup all over this post* Party time! Let's all have a maple syrup slashdot party, lol.
Reminds me of an episode of breaking bad (about a heist to pilfer some precious liquids).
Corporate Gadfly
Jonathan Archer: the most beaten up Enterprise captain in Star Trek history
Is the 600 barrels a measure of volume, 42 gallons to a barrel? Did it mean 600 drums of unknown capacity, perhaps 55 gallon drums? But it's a Canadian story and wouldn't they use metric? Perhaps the barrels are made of maple wood, charred inside and used for aging the syrup, eh?
Nate
Our military expenditures are a tiny fraction of our Southern neighbor's
Less likely to carry guns
Have better healthcare and are therefore more relaxed
We emphasize coordination and and compassion and getting along at the U.N.
Our labor rights are more sound, so we're less agitated
Our commitment to education is high, we see ways to resolve conflict in wise ways rather than brutal vicious ways
We're polite to a fault, we stop our cars in the street so you can cross, we let you go first in line if we both arrive at the same time, and we express in low tones the thinking behind our disagreements
BUT DON'T YOU MOTHERFUCKERS EVER FUCKING MESS WITH OUR MOTHERFUCKING MAPLE SYRUP
intellectual property law is philosophically incoherent. it is your moral duty to ignore it or sabotage it
What's my syrup say? Sweet!
He was informed that if an article appears in Slashdot that doesn't quite fit in the News For Nerds category, that the operation has been green lighted. He is to move at once, while the world is distracted by hot gossip about the Kardashians (local operatives in the mainland as well).
Nothing to see here, fellow /. readers; move along now.
WARNING: Smartphones have side effects--most of them undocumented.
NOBODY gives me the raspberry except .... LoneStar!
"File to fit, pound to insert, paint to match" - Aircraft Maintenance 101
We simply cannot allow a maple syrup gap!
It doesn't mean much now, it's built for the future.
...getting a huge "Road Warrior" vibe offa this whole thing?
"To understand who he was, you have to go back to another time. When the world was powered by the dark syrup. And the forest sprouted great cities of pipe and steel. Gone now, swept away. For reasons long forgotten, two mighty warrior tribes went to war and touched off a blaze which engulfed them all. Without syrup, they were nothing. Man began to feed on man, because who wants dry pancakes? The gangs took over the highways, ready to wage war for a barrel of sap. And in this maelstrom of decay, came the warrior we called Mad Makenzie..."
If this isn't the most obvious plot EVER for a Die Hard movie, I don't know what is. ;^)
It's better to vote for what you want and not get it than to vote for what you don't want and get it.
- E. Debs
We increased military expenditures, because we like war.
Are more likely to carry guns as we got rid of the gun registry
Want to create more private healthcare
Have made us the worldwide laughingstock due to enviromental stance, and lost our seat at the UN table
Have broken unions and forced private individuals back to work
Our minister of science and technology is a creationist and a chiropractor, resolve conflict by making laws forcing work rather than arbitration or bargaining
Some Canadians are polite, It you try that street crossing shit in Toronto, you will probably die. John Baird and Dean Del Mastro.
You know, only the Canadians would move syrup with a armed convoy.
I blame this whole stick mess on Canada.
-Hackus
Got Geometrodynamics? Awe, too hard to figure out? Too bad.
The reasons are pretty lame at face value. OTOH, when 100,000 people don't go to work because some natural resource isn't available, I understand the need.
It seems like having a strategic reserve of sugar, corn, wheat, socks, underwear, jeans, ties, .... We can live without any of these products, but if your daily work and paycheck are completely dependent on any 1 of them, a strategic reserve seems like a great idea.
The strategic oil reserves in the USA are about military needs. Using them to address price issues, which has been done, was foolish, IMHO.
Allowing prices to fluctuate during periods of abundance and lack is important. When we don't do that, things like the diamond cartel happen and prices are completely unrelated to supply.
Humans are smarter than most amimals because we can plan for these shortages.
Guess I talked myself out of calling this lame.
of how 600 barrels of Maple Syrup and some poor convoy with a brand new Garmin learned the difference between Ontario, Canada and Ontario, California.
Good people go to bed earlier.
Their chief weapons are Beer, Maple Syrup, and the repeated use of the word Eh, eh?
All your syrup is belong to Canada.
-- Tigger warning: This post may contain tiggers! --
Whats next? Columbian coke reserves damaged by mice? Chinese slave labor stolen? American military bankrupt?
Check out Live Free or Die by John Ringo. Maple Syrup plays an integral part in the defense of Earth.
Oliver's law of assumed responsibility: If you're seen fixing it, you will be blamed for breaking it.
Jeebus! Who wrote that awful post? Mitt Romney? Ebert gives it a thumbs down. Offtopic!
as governor of Massachusetts
then he disavowed his greatest legacy to pander to the ignorant propagandized wing of the hysterical right
Romney abandoned probably the greatest piece of legislation he will ever be identified with, to win the vote of the kind of douchebag that will vote against policies that means cheaper healthcare for him and a longer life. because some CEO brought enough of the right sort of propaganda on Fox News to appeal to his low IQ prejudices
i can't fathom a retard so fucking stupid he would choose to pay more for his healthcare and live less. so some CEO can pad his Cayman Island bank account
it's mind blowing how propagandized, ignorant and just beyond belief knuckle dragging dumb some Americans on the right can be
intellectual property law is philosophically incoherent. it is your moral duty to ignore it or sabotage it
I never knew we had a reserve,....of maple syrup!
Just in case we run out...????
Is there even a value to this, seeing as it can go bad (shelf life?)
Wasn't there something like 15,000 barrels stolen? This would be like finding a brick of 20's a block away from a bank robbery...
they also sell other stuff. I'm more familiar with Ross, but it is the same concept. In addition to clothes and shoes they have crappy electronics, toys, kids books, towels, sheets, some furniture, pots and pans, and yes, "gourmet-ish" food. Think spices, crackers, hot chocolate, hot sauce and probably expensive maple syrup. But for every one aisle for pots and pans they will have ten for women's clothing.
Once it's in the reserve, who owns what drop of syrup is no longer pertinent. It's just as believable that someone would do it for the same reasons as that Tylenol was poisoned http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chicago_Tylenol_murders (least likely) or to drive up the price, given that there's no price/production floor for producers (good for producers in general as plowing under a large percentage of the corn crop was at one point, and as milk-dumping in 1939 and the late 1970's; by the 1980's, the government was buying excess supply to make cheese and keep public supply low).
An alternate possibility is to games the commodities market with a short term supply discontinuity.
The first possibility is most likely to be of long term benefit to various producers, merely by being a possibility.
If it can be proven non-toxic, I'd keep it separate from the reserve, and start bottling "kidnapped brand maple syrup" myself...
The stolen amount was 16,000 barrels, or $20 million worth. 600 barrels is not quite a full recovery.