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User: CaptainPatent

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  1. Re:Not too bad.. on Apple Patent To Safeguard 911 Cellphone Calls · · Score: 1

    The obvious argument is that we've had phones that do that, they've just gone out of favor as cell phone companies have largely stopped releasing basic phones.

    With the added bonus of not having to pay patent ransom or waste battery with bullshit functions you didn't really want in the first place.

    But we don't have phones that do this. Just because those features are useless to you doesn't mean they're useless to everybody. By allowing a phone to have apps and services with the added bonus of low power mode in emergency situations, Apple is letting you have your cake and eat it too! Your solution equates to: "don't eat cake."

  2. Let's push poker underground too! on $33 Million In Poker Winnings Seized By US Govt · · Score: 5, Interesting

    I live in the Washington DC area - a place where you can't get a legal hand of poker dealt for literally 200 miles around. There are still plenty of really big games around here - you just need to bring a firearm to some of them.

    It sounds like a great idea to me to push poker off of a safe online format and into illegal and sometimes dangerous poker rooms. Sure many people will choose not to gamble - but what exactly is the cost in lives that justifies that?

    I play on FullTiltPoker all the time. It's safe and I can play for literally as little as 10 cents for a full tournament. How is that worse than having some of the same people venture into big games that aren't legal, they can't afford? You think gambling is a problem? Wait until those same people with gambling problems get in front of a loan shark, or shot because they can't pay.

    Great move.

  3. Re:Not like it's going to make a difference on Craigslist Kills Erotic Services Ads, Will Launch Adult Section · · Score: 4, Funny

    If there's one thing the authorities should learn it's that you can't win the game of whack-a-mole.

    And even if they do win it'll only get them enough tickets for two sparkle stickers or a bouncy ball.

  4. Re:Been there, done that. on Mobile Wi-Fi Hot Spot · · Score: 5, Funny

    "Allegedly, anything able to be accounted for with this amount of alliteration is absolutely astounding"

    There, fixed that for you.

  5. Re:So Very Painfully Humiliatingly Guilty on College Police Think Using Linux Is Suspicious Behavior · · Score: 1

    Judge: Would the defendant now give their opening statements?
    Defendant: Your honor, I've been a devoted American my entire life.
    *applause and praise from courtroom* In fact if you name a body part and a battle I've been shot in it, on it. Linux, like the American Flag represents freedom which I have worked hard to preserve. In fact I would give up any one of my seven wives - that's right, I'm a polygamist
    *Boos from courtroom"
    - to preserve the freedom they represent.
    *applause from the courtroom*
    Judge Given the evidence in this case I find the defendant not guilty.
    Defendant I won another case, I can't wait to tell my husband!
    *far louder boos come from the courtroom*

  6. Re:Absolute worst? on Worst Working Conditions You Had To Write Code In? · · Score: 4, Funny

    My last Employer actually expected me to write code in the morning! We are talking pre 10am here. I still have nightmares...

    But 10AM doesn't happen in the morning, it happens late at night when the sun starts to come up.

  7. Re:Isn't that missing the point? on Build Your Own Open Source Twittering Power Meter · · Score: 2, Interesting

    Unless you're living in the 80's, most households have a basic computer which is all it takes to email, tweet and connect to the internet. The only thing taking up additional power is the hardware to monitor it.

    Another point is in order to read the power meter you generally need to wander outside in some hidden corner of your house, or down into a hidden location in the basement. It's really hard to keep that routine up. Adding the hardware may take just a touch more power, but at least that data is in a place that can be readily checked and the person can be much more aware of power usage.

    Personally I think it's a rather brilliant idea.

  8. on the contrary: !Easy to dectect on Laser Sniffing Captures Typed Keystrokes From 50-100 Feet · · Score: 3, Informative

    If you go blind while you are typing, you are probably being sniffed.

    Or you are having severe problems with your retinas.

    In either case, you should feel your way to an opthamologist quickly.

    Actually, Infrared lasers only hurt eyes if you look directly into them. Using a low-powered infrared laser pointed at a keyboard wouldn't be any different than using a red laser pointed at a keyboard except that the victim would see the dot. Unless they're using a mirrored keyboard the light would be diffused and not refracted so it would be similar to looking at a resultant red dot from a laser instead of directly into a laser.

  9. Re:Have you thought about a USB bootloader? on Fastbooting Linux For Dummies? · · Score: 4, Informative

    usb will be slow to boot

    Actually it depends. USB 2.0 itself has a maximum throughput of 420Mbit/sec. To put that in perspective, it's nearly identical to most 7200 RPM hard drives on the market right now and about half as fast as a Western Digital Velociraptor VR150 which is one of the fastest consumer hard drives on the market.

    (60MB/s == 480Mb/s) I do admit this solution breaks down in two situations:
    1) you cheap out on the flash drive - in order to do this with reasonable speed you'll need to get a high-speed USB stick, but honestly a 2GB or 4GB high-speed stick is not that expensive
    2) The computer is not USB 2.0 compliant. - This is only a problem for older hardware, but if their normal home computer was made in the last 8 years, they should be safe.

  10. Have you thought about a USB bootloader? on Fastbooting Linux For Dummies? · · Score: 4, Informative

    I haven't messed around with this much myself... but instead of making her morning routine specific to an older, outdated laptop you have lying around, what about installing Linux on a USB drive for boot. Usually you can set Bios to detect USB first and installing something small and lightweight would be preferable. If you set up a Bash script to start Firefox I'd recommend Puppy Linux because it's quick and small, but if you want her to be able to mess around with the OS GUI and not "break" anything I think a better idea would be xubuntu instead. Still smaller and rather lightweight, but much more user friendly. The beauty of the USB drive boot though is you can use that old laptop as well as your main home computer without uprooting an existing OS and you'll still have access to all of those files if she wants to do work in OpenOffice or something similar.

  11. Re:Built-In Mental GPS on Chimps Have a Built-In GPS · · Score: 3, Funny

    Does it run Linux?

    I hear it's Gutsy Gibbon.

    buh-duh... ching

  12. Re:But... on Chimps Have a Built-In GPS · · Score: 1

    No silly, the chimps have simply evolved to use the working GPS satellites in use for navigation. You should always assume that no word in an article covering a scientific paper are simply hype and never assume anything is misrepresented.

    *apologizes for sarcastic rant*

  13. Re:Why the 300GBx2 drives on What Does a $16,000+ PC Look Like, Anyway? · · Score: 4, Informative

    Because they're Velociraptors - they're extraordinarily fast... much more so than the Samsung drives. If you have a segment of data that has a much higher access frequency, that space would be a great place to put it.

  14. Re:CAUTION on "Spin Battery" Effect Discovered · · Score: 1, Funny
    Warning:

    Do not open or crush battery. Severe risk of releasing a life-sucking vortex.

    Do not post on Slashdot after watching vampire movies. Severe risk of relating every story to sucking life force out of humans.

    Do not dispose in fire. Doing so could loose a storm of flaming vortices.

    Do not post on Slashdot after playing too many video games. Severe risk of hallucinating amazing 3d effects.

    Do not use this battery on carnival rides, while figure skating, or place in spinning clothes washer. Risk of severe gyroscopic reactions, which may lead to property damage, personal injury or death.

    Do not post on Slashdot after dropping acid. May cause visualizations of carnival rides, Bryan Boitano and other spinning objects.

  15. Re:Now with Shoulder & Elbow Joint Technology! on OLPC Set To Dump x86 For Arm Chips In XO 2 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Or is there something I don't know about the processing power of two of my appendages?

    *flexes*

    Slashdot, I'd like you to meet Blue and Cray.

  16. Re:Translation on Chimp Found Plotting Against Zoo Guests · · Score: 5, Funny

    And they call me anti-social next they are going to call me a communist.

    But doesn't anti-socialism lead to anti-communism?

  17. Re:Translation on Chimp Found Plotting Against Zoo Guests · · Score: 5, Funny

    Translation: "I'm an intelligent primate who doesn't like being caged up for your amusement."

    They must be even more prepared than we originally suspected...

    They've hired a translator!

  18. Re:A Clear Causation on Chimp Found Plotting Against Zoo Guests · · Score: 2, Funny

    Although I have no basis for this observation, this new, violent behavior is clearly a result of exposure to violent video games.

    I blame "Gorillas Gone Wild"

  19. Re:Purses and wallets? on Barbara Liskov Wins Turing Award · · Score: 4, Funny

    No, they're just bragging about the luxurious accessories the award lugs around all day.

  20. Re:And on Fermilab Not Dead Yet, Discovers Rare Single Top Quark · · Score: 1

    If it gets modded up, you can color me tickled pink.

    not to gluon the point, but that seems like a rather strong interaction.

  21. Re:And on Fermilab Not Dead Yet, Discovers Rare Single Top Quark · · Score: 1

    Redundant!?

    It was a quantum finish!

  22. Re:And on Fermilab Not Dead Yet, Discovers Rare Single Top Quark · · Score: 5, Funny

    We should let it simultaneously exist as funny and not exist as funny.

    Well that certainly puts a spin on things.

  23. Re:And on Fermilab Not Dead Yet, Discovers Rare Single Top Quark · · Score: 5, Funny

    Should I mod this "up" or "down" ?

    If we measure, won't that change the outcome?

  24. Re:And on Fermilab Not Dead Yet, Discovers Rare Single Top Quark · · Score: 3, Funny

    This quark was not charmed by being photographed.

    Strange.

  25. Re:remove the Mormons tag on Utah Trying To Restrict Keyword Advertising ... Again · · Score: 2, Funny

    There needs to be a "+1 Priceless" tag for comments like this.