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Chimp Found Plotting Against Zoo Guests

rjshirts writes "In further proof that Planet of the Apes is coming to pass, researchers in Stockholm, Sweden have proof that primates can plan ahead. From the article: 'Santino the chimpanzee's anti-social behavior stunned both visitors and keepers at the Furuvik Zoo but fascinated researchers because it was so carefully prepared. According to a report in the journal Current Biology, the 31-year-old alpha male started building his weapons cache in the morning before the zoo opened, collecting rocks and knocking out disks from concrete boulders inside his enclosure. He waited until around midday before he unleashed a "hailstorm" of rocks against visitors, the study said.'"

435 comments

  1. Translation by grub · · Score: 5, Insightful


    Translation: "I'm an intelligent primate who doesn't like being caged up for your amusement."

    --
    Trolling is a art,
    1. Re:Translation by IAR80 · · Score: 4, Funny

      And they call me anti-social next they are going to call me a communist.

      --
      http://ebgp.net/ccc/
    2. Re:Translation by Capt.+Cooley · · Score: 5, Funny

      Intelligent? Maybe. Good aim? Definitely not. He didn't even seriously injure anyone. This is news why?

    3. Re:Translation by khellendros1984 · · Score: 4, Informative

      Because it's an aspect of chimpanzee intelligence that hadn't previously been observed, apparently. One of the key differences between humans and animals is that humans have a much more advanced ability to predict what will happen in the future and to make preparations to deal with that prediction.
      In this case, the chimp remembered that people were outside of his cage on other days, and realized that that would probably be true again. He prepared for that prediction. Animals just don't tend to plan ahead, and it's exciting that this one did.

      --
      It is pitch black. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.
    4. Re:Translation by snowraver1 · · Score: 3, Insightful

      I don't think that the monkey had that bad of aim. He managed to hit people from their cage described by TFA as: "The attacks were only directed at humans viewing the apes across the moat surrounding the island compound where they were held."

      I don't know how many people I could hit from across a moat. Just saying...

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      Copyright 2010. All rights reserved. This comment may not be copied in any way including, but not limited to caching.
    5. Re:Translation by xwizbt · · Score: 5, Funny

      Clearly not intelligent enough - to really assert his intelligence he ought to be constructing small enclosures for other animals to keep for his own amusement.

      Only intelligent animals keep other animals in cages.

    6. Re:Translation by spacefiddle · · Score: 0

      Interesting premise there. Maybe it isn't a universal trait that serious injury or death is the only way to express displeasure? Maybe they were not intended to brain the targets? I have a strong suspicion that if he wanted to nail someone between the eyes with a rock, he could have. Or even just a body shot.

      Maybe he hasn't "evolved" to the stage where he believes he needs to kill his problems yet. Give him some time :P

    7. Re:Translation by CaptainPatent · · Score: 5, Funny

      Translation: "I'm an intelligent primate who doesn't like being caged up for your amusement."

      They must be even more prepared than we originally suspected...

      They've hired a translator!

      --
      Well, back to rejecting software patent applications.
    8. Re:Translation by CaptainPatent · · Score: 5, Funny

      And they call me anti-social next they are going to call me a communist.

      But doesn't anti-socialism lead to anti-communism?

      --
      Well, back to rejecting software patent applications.
    9. Re:Translation by Locke2005 · · Score: 1

      No big deal... they just used Babelfish and clicked on "Chimp to English". But we probably ought to revoke these chimps' internet access -- we've already got enough people acting like monkeys on the 'net!

      --
      I've abandoned my search for truth; now I'm just looking for some useful delusions.
    10. Re:Translation by negRo_slim · · Score: 2, Informative

      Intelligent? Maybe. Good aim? Definitely not. He didn't even seriously injure anyone. This is news why?

      The morning radio show mentioned this today. Said he broke a couple arms, gave a few concussions and one guy is still "knocked out"...

      --
      On the Oregon Cost born and raised, On the beach is where I spent most of my days
    11. Re:Translation by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I remember a scene from the movie 'Silverado' where Cleese and the deputy are being shot at by Danny Glover.

      AFTER SHOTS HIT EVERYTHING AROUND THEM.
      DEPUTY: "Let's go, he ain't hittin' nothin'"
      CLEESE "You idiot, he's hit everything he's aimed at"

      Kind of reminds me of this monkey somehow.

    12. Re:Translation by Locke2005 · · Score: 4, Funny

      You're assuming he was actually trying to hit someone. Watching humans scream with panic and run away when you throw things at them is funny! Watching them fall down, bleed, and get carried away in a stretcher -- not so funny. He's throwing rocks for the same reason most chimps throw feces -- not because he is trying to injure a spectator, but because it amuses him to see their reaction!

      --
      I've abandoned my search for truth; now I'm just looking for some useful delusions.
    13. Re:Translation by MichaelSmith · · Score: 5, Insightful

      Because it's an aspect of chimpanzee intelligence that hadn't previously been observed, apparently.

      Years ago I read about some animal sanctuary where they were trying to keep chimpanzees in captivity. They had to run the place like a real jail for humans. If you forget to lock a door in (say) the elephant enclosure at the zoo you would be okay for a while. Not so with chimps.

      I am surprised that anybody is surprised by this. Chimpanzees are nasty scheming vicious murderous animals. Just like us.

    14. Re:Translation by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      "Chimp to English"

      Is that what they used to translate Bush's speeches?

    15. Re:Translation by Locke2005 · · Score: 2, Informative
      --
      I've abandoned my search for truth; now I'm just looking for some useful delusions.
    16. Re:Translation by nobdoor · · Score: 2, Interesting
      It's arrogant and naive to think humans have a 'much more advanced ability to think ahead' than animals.

      Animals just don't tend to plan ahead"

      Please. Any kid with a subscription to zoobooks can tell you about arctic foxes burying portions of a kill for later use during winter. And what other animal has raped and exploited nature for its own immediate gains? Lets see where global warming takes us, then I'll ask you how good we are at 'thinking ahead'.

    17. Re:Translation by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Yeah, just try that with the current president.

    18. Re:Translation by exp(pi*sqrt(163)) · · Score: 1

      Yesterday we brought the pet carrier out from the basement and as soon as the cat saw it she hid behind the sofa. Predicting what will happen next is something any mammal can learn. That's not what this story is about. It's about planning tool use for the future.

      --
      Doesn't it make you feel good to know that our freedoms are protected by politicans, lawyers and journalists.
    19. Re:Translation by BikeHelmet · · Score: 3, Interesting

      Animals just don't tend to plan ahead, and it's exciting that this one did.

      I wonder what all the animals that prepare to hibernate in the winter would think of your statement?

      Regardless, this may interest you: http://science.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=07/09/09/1825206

      A parrot (now dead) that understood cause and effect. If he answered a question correctly, like counting the number of blocks of a certain colour, he was allowed a treat. (only if he asked for it)

      If he got it wrong, no treat. Apparently he learned not to ask for treats after getting the answer wrong, which unless I'm mistaken (quite likely - I'm not an expert :P ) means he also re-examined his answers after giving them.

      Pretty smart bird. Doesn't really surprise me that a genetically closer mammal was able to prepare for a future event.

    20. Re:Translation by eln · · Score: 1

      No big deal... they just used Babelfish and clicked on "Chimp to English". But we probably ought to revoke these chimps' internet access -- we've already got enough people acting like monkeys on the 'net!

      Nah, if they did that it would come out as "intelligent am I monkey ook ook eek eek enclosure keeping of likeness not".

    21. Re:Translation by Experiment+626 · · Score: 5, Insightful

      Comparing Bush to a chimp is considered fair game. Comparing Obama to one is considered unacceptable. One president is afforded better treatment and respect because of the color of his skin, and somehow this is touted as preventing rather than exemplifying racism.

    22. Re:Translation by fuzzyfuzzyfungus · · Score: 5, Informative

      The tricky bit, when trying to study animal cognition(or lack thereof, depending on the instance) is distinguishing between things that aren't cognition; but look like it, and things that actually are.

      In the fox case, for instance, the fox might be thinking ahead, and storing food for the future, or foxes might have a "when not hungry, bury available food" instinct. This doesn't mean that the fox isn't planning ahead; but you can't tell one way or the other.

      Thus, researchers are always on the lookout for situations that can distinguish between the two. Novel situations where instincts wouldn't be expected to apply, pathological situations where instincts would fail if applied, etc.

    23. Re:Translation by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      As a 30 yo programmer sitting in this cube for the last year, I identify with that monkey.

    24. Re:Translation by SydShamino · · Score: 3, Insightful

      Recognizing a scary object is not the same thing as remembering that a scary object might appear at a certain interval. If you're cat remembered that you took it to the vet on March 10, 2008, too, and it hid in the garage yesterday for that reason, then you'd have a scientific breakthrough.

      --
      It doesn't hurt to be nice.
    25. Re:Translation by v1 · · Score: 5, Insightful

      Any kid with a subscription to zoobooks can tell you about arctic foxes burying portions of a kill for later use during winter.

      There is a VERY important difference here. Arctic foxes don't survive through a few winters without a food cache and think "hey I bet it's going to do that again next year, maybe I should stash some food this summer so I have more to eat next winter?". Evolution has taught them to do that. Same as any other instinctual behavior in any other animal. Babies don't learn to suck the tit.

      These chimps identified a pattern, and prepared in advance to benefit themselves when they expected it to repeat. Gathering rocks in the morning to attack tourists in the afternoon is not evolutionary adaptation. Something like that could become an evolutionary behavioral adaptation, but not from 100 years of zoos.

      --
      I work for the Department of Redundancy Department.
    26. Re:Translation by mooingyak · · Score: 4, Funny

      Wow I would simply not have made the connection without your helpful comment. Much obliged!

      --
      William of Ockham had no beard. The most likely explanation is that it was chewed off by squirrels every morning.
    27. Re:Translation by Shihar · · Score: 4, Interesting

      I wonder what all the animals that prepare to hibernate in the winter would think of your statement?

      You are under the assumption that it is planning that causes an animal to prepare to hibernate and not pure instinct leading them by the nose.

      You don't eat because you realize that if don't various mechanisms in your body are going to fail. You eat because you are hungry. The same is true for hibernation, mating, and a pile of other "planned" behaviors. Two deer don't bang in the fall because they realize that this is their chance to make babies and if they miss the window they will have none. They got at it because they are horny.

    28. Re:Translation by hedwards · · Score: 1

      That's not apples to apples. The difference is that if you forget the lock, the chimp will check at some point, and then immediately leave the cage.

      But in this case it was a plan based upon the prediction of future emotional states, which is quite a bit different. It had been seen before, but not in a way that was clearly based upon planning and foresight.

    29. Re:Translation by interkin3tic · · Score: 4, Insightful

      Years ago I read about some animal sanctuary where they were trying to keep chimpanzees in captivity. They had to run the place like a real jail for humans. If you forget to lock a door in (say) the elephant enclosure at the zoo you would be okay for a while. Not so with chimps.

      I am surprised that anybody is surprised by this.

      I think the key here is that the chimp anticipated future events and planned rather than just showing an understanding of the current situation, which are dramatically different capabilities. A chimp realizing the door is unlocked is one thing, that is interesting enough given what we usually think of non-human intelligence (I'd say ignorance rather than arrogance, I'm not around a lot of chimps). It's another to demonstrate that the chimp can forecast events that haven't occoured yet, this is something that humans seem barely capable of.

      Maybe something in TFA backs me up on this... Holy crap, suprise of suprises, IT DOES!

      "These observations convincingly show that our fellow apes do consider the future in a very complex way," said the author of the report, Lund University Ph.D. student Mathias Osvath. "It implies that they have a highly developed consciousness, including lifelike mental simulations of potential events."...

      The observations confirmed the result of a staged laboratory experiment reported in 2006 by scientists at the Max Planck Institute for Evolutionary Anthropology in Leipzig, Germany. In that case orangutans and bonobos were able to figure out which tool would work in an effort to retrieve grapes, and were able to remember to bring that tool along hours later.

      To be honest, I'm suprised that you're suprised that people who study chimps are suprised by this. These seem to be people who know chimps pretty well, if this were an old result, you'd think they wouldn't be wasting their time. Whenever I've thought an expert in a field I don't know as well is wasting their time, I usually come to realize that I was actually not understanding the situation.

    30. Re:Translation by pluther · · Score: 5, Insightful

      One president is afforded better treatment and respect because of the color of his skin

      You really believe that that's the only difference between the two men?

      --
      If the masses can keep you down, you're not the Ubermensch.
    31. Re:Translation by vandelais · · Score: 1

      Are you posting from work again?
      Signed, your boss.

      --
      Game: Player 'Donald J Trump' now has AI skill level 'experimental'.
    32. Re:Translation by Slumdog · · Score: 1

      But doesn't anti-socialism lead to anti-communism?

      Not necessarily, its plain logic, p => q does not mean q => p.

    33. Re:Translation by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      And you cannot represent every statement of concepts in a purely mathematical expression.

    34. Re:Translation by TheRealMindChild · · Score: 4, Informative

      Hate to be the one to bring this up, but a Chimpanzee is an Ape, not a Monkey.

      --

      "When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back!" -- Cave Johnson
    35. Re:Translation by Swizec · · Score: 2, Funny

      You can't even expect a human to remember what happened on "today" last year and you want something with a brain the size of a tennis ball to do it?

    36. Re:Translation by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I don't remember them *shoting* and *killing* Bush ...

    37. Re:Translation by migloo · · Score: 1

      humans have a much more advanced ability to predict what will happen in the future and to make preparations to deal with that prediction

      I wonder where you got that idea ...

    38. Re:Translation by Stray7Xi · · Score: 2, Funny

      I don't think that the monkey had that bad of aim.

      Chimps aren't monkeys. They're apes.
      ...I'm only saying because your mom doesn't like being called a monkey.

    39. Re:Translation by Slumdog · · Score: 2, Insightful

      And you cannot represent every statement of concepts in a purely mathematical expression.

      Yes we can, it is the whole point of mathematics.

    40. Re:Translation by Fulcrum+of+Evil · · Score: 3, Insightful

      One president is afforded better treatment and respect because of the color of his skin

      Nope, I shouldn't have to tell you this, but comparing blacks to monkeys is just dripping racism, so you can't use that slur without appearing racist. You can still mock him for being a slimy chicago politico or something - that's OK.

      --
      "We returned the General to El Salvador, or maybe Guatemala, it's difficult to tell from 10,000 feet"
    41. Re:Translation by buswolley · · Score: 0
      In other news, birds build nests before hatching eggs. Elephants travel days to go to salt-licks. Spiders build webs before catching prey.

      I'm not saying that these aren't different from what this ape has done, but let us better characterize what that difference is first. How is building a pile of stones to throw different than a bird building a nest before laying eggs? Let us be careful and differentiate between planning, intentional planning, and be wary of attributing planning to behavior that **looks** human.

      --

      A Good Troll is better than a Bad Human.

    42. Re:Translation by syousef · · Score: 1

      One of the key differences between humans and animals is that humans have a much more advanced ability to predict what will happen in the future and to make preparations to deal with that prediction....Animals just don't tend to plan ahead, and it's exciting that this one did.

      You obviously don't own a pet dog. They'll not only anticipate feeding time, they'll pester you for food if you don't provide it in a timely manner. Predicting what's about to happen isn't reserved for higher primates. Now my dog doesn't prepare a weapons cache in case I don't feed him on time, but it's not such a stretch that a higher primate would.

      --
      These posts express my own personal views, not those of my employer
    43. Re:Translation by bhagwad · · Score: 4, Insightful

      In other news, birds build nests before hatching eggs. Elephants travel days to go to salt-licks. Spiders build webs before catching prey.

      I'm not saying that these aren't different from what this ape has done, but let us better characterize what that difference is first. How is building a pile of stones to throw different than a bird building a nest before laying eggs? Let us be careful and differentiate between planning, intentional planning, and be wary of attributing planning to behavior that **looks** human.

      I would guess that the difference lies in the fact that the Chimps behavior was not a product of instinct, but that of cogent thought.

      One might argue that birds building a nest before laying eggs is not forethought, but merely programming, as is the building of a web by a spider.

    44. Re:Translation by techess · · Score: 2, Interesting

      One of my favorite articles showing that animals plan ahead:

      http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/1543432/Birds-not-so-stupid-after-all.html

      And birds are often considered "stupid" compared to primates.

      --
      Don't anthropomorphize computers. They *hate* that.
    45. Re:Translation by c6gunner · · Score: 5, Insightful

      How is building a pile of stones to throw different than a bird building a nest before laying eggs?

      Because building a nest is genetically wired into the bird. Make the bird sterile, and it'll keep building nests anyway. Moreover, it's a behavior which has existed for millions of years. It's a completely different phenomenon than a chimp learning to use objects as weapons.

      The big thing is that it demonstrates that chimpanzees have some rudimentary understanding of time. He's obviously able to observe his current situation, remember it as a past event, detect a recurring pattern, deduce that it's likely to repeat in the future, decide on an action to be carried out at a future time, and prepare materials required to carry it out. That's no small feat.

    46. Re:Translation by Knowbuddy · · Score: 5, Interesting

      Any zookeeper who has ever worked primates would tell you that this is pretty typical.

      My wife worked as a keeper at a prominent chimp and orangutan sanctuary for several years. She would come home with tales that would make your skin crawl of how smart the apes (both chimps and orangutans) are. It turns out that the OUs (you don't say "orangs", as it offends some of the more hard-core keepers) are the more cunning of the two -- she likened them to engineers.

      Some examples:

      • An orangutan who kept a bit of metal in between his bottom lip and teeth, using it to try to pick the locks at night when the keepers weren't around. After they finally caught him doing it, they went back and reviewed the tapes and saw that he'd been at it for weeks.
      • An orangutan who threw her baby onto the hotwire (electrified fence) to use as an insulating glove to get herself over it.
      • An orangutan who used a sweater in the same hotwire-insulating capacity. (OUs love sweaters, shirts, and dresses.)
      • Chimpanzees that would hear people approaching, then position themselves just close enough to the walkway to be able to urinate and/or masturbate onto the guests (generally not the keepers).
      • An orangutan who used a hard plastic toy to chip away at the concrete substrate (foundation) of his enclosure for days, until he finally managed to get to the bare rebar beneath.

      Did you know that the apes you see in TV ads (such as CareerBuilder) and films (such as Dunston Checks In) are never more than 3 or 4 years old, but have a lifespan only a little shorter than humans? They're only "cute" when they are very young, and quickly become uncontrollable, no matter how well-trained they are -- precisely because they have that kind of intelligence. (Roughly that of a 4- to 6-year-old child.)

      After that, they are retired and put in cages (rarely zoos) for the rest of their lives. The entertainers wash their hands of them, then your tax dollars are spent to maintain them for the next 40+ years. Depending on the facility, this can be as much as $20,000USD per ape per year.

      So every time you see a "funny monkey video", think about how much of your paycheck is going to support that ape in a few years.

    47. Re:Translation by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      The scenario could be:

      1. Chimp throws some rocks from an existing pile and the resulting reaction makes him feel good, less stressed or whatever. An association develops between that pile and feeling good. From this point on, it's good to keep that pile in existance.

      2. Chimp notices pile is small and, based on the association in step 1, endeavors to build it up.

      This sequence doesn't require the chimp to directly associate the need to collect a rock cache in order to attack visitors.

    48. Re:Translation by angel'o'sphere · · Score: 2, Interesting

      Chimps are very bad in hand / eye coordination.

      If you make experiments where they have to throw something at a 1 yard big target, 10 yards far away, they splatter the whole area 10 yards left and right of the target. Basically the same is true for distance.

      Chimps "love" to throw stuff at others, other chimps or leopards or what ever seems threatening ... but they don't throw stuff during hunting, because they basically never hit anything (and you can not train them to hit).

      angel'o'sphere

      --
      Cost free eBook I read (by iBook/Kobo/Amazon/ObookO/Gutenberg etc.): "The Green Odyssey" by Philip Jose Farmer.
    49. Re:Translation by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Bush and people of the same color were never referred to as primates in a racist way before. If in history white people were racially referred to as beavers, then the same logic would apply and nobody would be shocked if someone called Obama a beaver.

    50. Re:Translation by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Uh, no its not. If you are attacking him for some quality other than his racial characteristics, then it is not racist.

    51. Re:Translation by QRDeNameland · · Score: 1

      Speaking of Cleese, I thought that Santino the Chimpanzee Builds a Small Arsenal would make a nice sequel to Ethel the Aardvark Goes Quantity Surveying .

      --
      Momentarily, the need for the construction of new light will no longer exist.
    52. Re:Translation by Gordonjcp · · Score: 1

      If you forget to lock a door in (say) the elephant enclosure at the zoo you would be okay for a while. Not so with chimps.

      Likewise with horses. If you forget to lock the bolt on a stable door and put a padlock through the hasp, and then put the kicklatch on at the bottom of the door, then you will find a very fat little horse in the field outside the stable in the morning. Just putting the bolt across won't do it, because they will unlock it unless it's actually prevented from moving with the padlock. The kicklatch flummoxes them because they can't reach - although I know one of the ponies has figured it out and has sussed that dropping something on it *just right* will unlatch it. She hasn't managed it *yet*...

    53. Re:Translation by KarmaRundi · · Score: 0, Troll

      Nevermind the racism thing, comparing Bush to a chimp is insulting to chimps.

    54. Re:Translation by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      oh, you made a funny.... nobody sees in color! it's black and white. plus bushes color aint the reason he'd be compared to an ape.... it's his behavior! like drr like drr.

      ps: normally i'd post with an intelligent comment, but this post didnt seem to warrant one.

    55. Re:Translation by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Informative

      That wasn't his point. His point was that one could call Bush a monkey without reprisal but one could not call Obama a monkey without being called a racist.

      That is a double standard.

    56. Re:Translation by ChadM · · Score: 3, Funny

      Ok I giggled. If your cat has a brain the size of a tennis ball then it's got a huge fucking head.

    57. Re:Translation by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Insightful

      I don't think so. Whites are called all sorts of derogatory things all the time and nobody bats an eye over it. The movie 'white men can't jump' is a perfect example. If you're a white kid and you have to go through a school full of minorities, expect to be harassed and called names all the time.

      It is a double standard that exists - whites can be bashed and blamed but others cannot.

    58. Re:Translation by ross.w · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Your cat's smarter than ours. When we bring the cat carrier out, he wants to explore it. When he does, we shut him in. Works every time and he hasn't figured it out yet.

      --
      If my call is important, why am I talking to a recording?
    59. Re:Translation by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Well you were right, you didn't post with an intelligent comment. The poster didn't say calling Bush a monkey was racism. He said the fact that one cannot call Obama a monkey because on the color of his skin was an example of double-standards racism.

    60. Re:Translation by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      There was a very interesting study done with primates where they would bring one up isolated from other animals.
      They would then show it a snake and see it's reaction.

      When a primate had not had the experience of others of it's kind screaming warnings when shown a snake, it would not be scared at all.

      So the fear was passed down by communication between generations, rather than instinctive!

    61. Re:Translation by MadLad · · Score: 1

      I think you're making an unwarranted assumption. It could have learned to bury food by watching its mother do the same. The First Food-Burying Fox might originally have learned to do so after surviving a winter without a food cache, or it might have happened upon some food during a hungry winter and thought "Awesome!", or some occurrence like that. (Who knows where thoughts come from? /EmpireRecords) Anyway, then it's memetic transference of an idea, not a genetic reproduction of an instict. To dismiss this possibility out of hand would reflect (arguably) unwarranted assumptions about intelligence in foxes.

    62. Re:Translation by frieko · · Score: 4, Funny

      Whenever I've thought an expert in a field I don't know as well is wasting their time, I usually come to realize that I was actually not understanding the situation.

      You, or the guy that hands out the grant money..

    63. Re:Translation by jcnnghm · · Score: 2, Informative

      Maybe he hasn't "evolved" to the stage where he believes he needs to kill his problems yet. Give him some time :P

      You've got a lot to learn. Killing your problems is only a human condition if you're a foolish liberal. Chimps are intensly territorial, and there have even been documented incidents of chimp communities going to war with one another, to the extent that the larger group will hunt down and kill every member of the smaller group. The behavior isn't confined to chimps. Some species of ants actually enslave others.

      The queen of an established slavemaking colony will produce new queens who leave the colony to develop their own colony. The young slavemaking queen will wait outside of the colony she is leaving and follow a group of raiding slave makers into her new colony. As the worker slavemakers raid this colony for eggs, the queen takes advantage of the battle by using it to sneak into the colony. Once it finds the queen, it kills her and takes her place. The new queen mimics the old queen by consuming pheromones from her body and releasing them to the attending ants. This new queen having mated with a slavemaking male earlier begins to produce new slave makers. Other variations on these hostile takeovers include one South American species whose workers secrete a chemical on a host colony that causes the ants of the host colony to evacuate the nest. In their haste to leave, pupae will be left behind. These developing ants are then taken back to the slave maker nest. Another variation is in a European species that attacks ants that are significantly larger in size. The queen invades a nest by clinging on the rightful queen and slowly chokes her to death.

      --
      You don't make the poor richer by making the rich poorer. - Winston Churchill
    64. Re:Translation by ravenshrike · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Yeah, Obama's about twice as incompetent and a thousand times more corrupt.

    65. Re:Translation by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I'm sure many people would take a comparison of Obama to a chimp as a racist statement, even if you mean that he's stupid as a chimp.

    66. Re:Translation by Hurricane78 · · Score: 1, Flamebait

      I think it is insulting to the apes, to act all "Ooh, look, the can do basic stuff too, we're not that special anymore. I guess we have to find something else to show that we still are god's gift of perfection.".

      I'm sorry. This galaxy is not special. It never was. Earth is not special. It never was. Humans are not special. They never were. The white man is not special. He never was.
      Same shit, different times.

      --
      Any sufficiently advanced intelligence is indistinguishable from stupidity.
    67. Re:Translation by Idiomatick · · Score: 1

      Joking I know but ... Monkeys or orangutans at least have been recorded to keep pets. I've heard birds that get injured in their enclosure they will nurse back to health.

    68. Re:Translation by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      From TFA: "However, he rarely hit visitors because of his poor aim, and no one was seriously injured in the cases when he did, Osvath said."

    69. Re:Translation by tverbeek · · Score: 1

      If this is how he reacts to imprisonment, I can't wait to see what his reaction is now to being castrated. (I know what mine would be.)

      --
      http://alternatives.rzero.com/
    70. Re:Translation by tecnico.hitos · · Score: 1

      The key difference between humans and other animals is that we are awesome and they are not. All researches point out that*. *No animals were interviewed, excepting for humans, because they are awesome.

      --
      The good, the evil and the vacuum tubes.
    71. Re:Translation by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Sounds like someone's mother never told him he was special. :(

    72. Re:Translation by poena.dare · · Score: 2, Interesting

      Close but not entirely acurate. Let me fix that for you:

      Comparing Bush to a chimp is considered fair game. Comparing Obama to one is considered unacceptable. One president is afforded better treatment and respect because of the hundreds of years people with dark skin were vilified as subhuman, tortured, murdered, and treated as furniture by people with light skin. This is called sensitivity. It is a civilizing concept and sometimes an imperfect approach. Regardless, sensitivity reduces societal friction.

      Case in point: hardly anybody gets upset these days if you grouse about filthy pinched-face Visigoths in public.

    73. Re:Translation by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      "I guess we have to find something else to show that we still are god's gift of perfection."

      Straw man arguments are lies.

    74. Re:Translation by icannotthinkofaname · · Score: 1

      Translation: "I'm an intelligent primate who doesn't like being caged up for your amusement."

      Well, now! That monkey is one step ahead of the average American!

      *leaves computer to free all the intelligent primates in the zoo*

      --
      Let q be a radix > 1. I am in ur base-q, killing 10 d00ds.
    75. Re:Translation by Curunir_wolf · · Score: 1, Troll

      I think it is insulting to the apes, to act all "Ooh, look, the can do basic stuff too, we're not that special anymore. I guess we have to find something else to show that we still are god's gift of perfection.".

      I'm sorry. This galaxy is not special. It never was. Earth is not special. It never was. Humans are not special. They never were. The white man is not special. He never was. Same shit, different times.

      Kill yourself

      --
      "Somebody has to do something. It's just incredibly pathetic it has to be us."
      --- Jerry Garcia
    76. Re:Translation by corbettw · · Score: 1

      Besides which, comparing Chicago politicians to monkeys isn't fair to the monkeys. They don't eat their young nearly as often as Shy Town pols.

      --
      God invented whiskey so the Irish would not rule the world.
    77. Re:Translation by bhagwad · · Score: 5, Insightful
      One word: Learning.

      A bird doesn't learn how to build a nest. Neither does a spider acquire the experience to spin a web after experimentation. That knowledge is built into them and is instinct, and not cogent though in spite of your high blown words like "multi dimensional gradient" and "quantization".

      Without a doubt, the chimp in question learned a pattern. I leave it as an exercise to you to guess what that pattern was.

      The distinction between instinct and cogent thought is very real unlike what you imply. If spiders had to learn how to spin a web, they would starve, and so in their case, cogent thought is neither needed nor important.

    78. Re:Translation by Pollardito · · Score: 4, Informative

      Apparently you are unaware that blacks were depicted with regularity as monkeys in racist literature of the past. Next you're going to complain that white people who wear white robes with pointed hoods are unfairly stereotyped. If you act like racists acted, people will suspect that you're a racist.

    79. Re:Translation by mjwx · · Score: 1

      They've hired a translator!

      Then we must hire a bigger translator. One day we'll hire a translator so big it will destroy us all.

      --
      Calling someone a "hater" only means you can not rationally rebut their argument.
    80. Re:Translation by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      You sure the parrot isn't just pining for the fjords?

    81. Re:Translation by interkin3tic · · Score: 1

      They seem to err on the side of caution, or rather, err on the side of not giving money to things they don't understand. Unless your grant proposal is seeded with enough words from the following non-exhaustive list

      Nano
      Biofuel
      Terorrism
      Bioterrorism
      Renewable energy
      Alternative fuels
      AIDS
      Cancer

    82. Re:Translation by jshackney · · Score: 1
    83. Re:Translation by einhverfr · · Score: 5, Informative

      you don't say "orangs", as it offends some of the more hard-core keepers

      That is really funny because "orang" is a Malay (and Indonesian) word for "person."

      "Orang utan" literally means "forest person" (the languages put the adjective after the noun).

      --

      LedgerSMB: Open source Accounting/ERP
    84. Re:Translation by xwizbt · · Score: 3, Funny

      No, no - I wasn't joking, I was being scathing about the human race. This poor animal is so pissed off about being where it is that it stores up missiles to throw at its assailants. When was the last time you were in that situation?

      Sadly, my commentary was interpreted as humour by the moderators, rather than the scalpel-sharp incisive wit that it was. Ah, well...

    85. Re:Translation by IronChef · · Score: 1

      Now I hate every monkey that I see--from chimpan-A to chimpan-Z.

    86. Re:Translation by Hooya · · Score: 4, Insightful

      Another way to look at it is that birds that didn't think they had to build nests to lay eggs in didn't pass on their genetic wisdom since they had no one to pass it on to. So that trait was naturally selected out. At least it can be argued that birds didn't learn to build nests by having experimented with laying eggs without one and then realizing that they actually needed one!

      However, stockpiling stones to fling at visitors aren't (in an obvious way, at least) something that is naturally a survival instinct. Flinging whatever is within reach is - fight or flight. However, foreseeing and preparing for a fight is not. Especially in the environment of a zoo, to which the chimps have only been subjected to for only for about a few hundred years. It had to have been learned. In their lifetime.

      So, wordsmitthing aside, there is a difference and as the parent pointed out - it has to do with learning and applying that knowledge to an anticipated future event.

    87. Re:Translation by Hooya · · Score: 5, Funny

      >> And you cannot represent every statement of concepts in a purely mathematical expression.
      > Yes we can, it is the whole point of mathematics.

      Had you said that in mathematics, I would have believed you.

    88. Re:Translation by Fulcrum+of+Evil · · Score: 1

      how is comparing a black man (from Africa) to a monkey (from Africa) not a racial attack?

      --
      "We returned the General to El Salvador, or maybe Guatemala, it's difficult to tell from 10,000 feet"
    89. Re:Translation by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      you mean that p->q does not mean !p->!q

    90. Re:Translation by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Nah, it's just a one of those dirty anti-war protesters. Tear gas to the gage, I say, TEAR GAS, before we are all doomed!

    91. Re:Translation by CarpetShark · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Yes, because the UK's socialist Royal Mail and NHS definitely caused hammer-and-sickle flags to wave over the Houses of Parliament.

    92. Re:Translation by shutdown+-p+now · · Score: 1

      That wasn't his point. His point was that one could call Bush a monkey without reprisal

      Well, what can we do, really, if the man did everything he could to prove the point? It's like "sky is blue" by now.

    93. Re:Translation by A1rmanCha1rman · · Score: 2, Insightful

      "They're only "cute" when they are very young, and quickly become uncontrollable, no matter how well-trained they are -- precisely because they have that kind of intelligence"

      How about their uncontrollability being down to the fact that they have been sentenced to a life behind bars when they are probably aware that they have committed no social crimes, precisely because they have that kind of intelligence?

      --
      I get up, I get down...
    94. Re:Translation by Idiomatick · · Score: 2, Funny

      I'm sure it'd be modded +1 scalpel-sharp were there such an option

    95. Re:Translation by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      The self-proclaimed most intelligent animals on this planet keep themselves in cages more than they do with any other animal so far. Most of them don't even notice though, living in cities is assumed as a natural inhabitat...

    96. Re:Translation by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      You're probably trolling, but what the hell! It's ok to compare Bush to a chimp because he, as an individual, looks as dumb as a chimp. It's not ok to compare Obama to a chimp because it would suggest that all black men look like monkeys.

    97. Re:Translation by sleepdev · · Score: 0

      Because building a nest is genetically wired into the bird.

      I wasn't aware that we had decoded genomes to that level of detail.

      Current research into genomes is primarily through correlation not causation. Right now we can barely figure out the structure of what will be produced, let alone how that will fit into the complex circuitry that makes up a bird's brain; which I might add we also don't understand from an AI standpoint.

      I am not trying to say that no behaviours are encoded as "instict", simply that you must be cautious not to underestimate how much is formed anew through emergent behaviours.

      i.e. how many ways can a horses leg joints move? might that simplicity be related to horses being able to walk so much sooner than babies? and if not, then why does it take humans so much longer for "instincts" to kick in.

    98. Re:Translation by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I guess that $4 Billion for trained apes in the economic stimulus was a bad idea then.

    99. Re:Translation by Hooya · · Score: 1

      They got at it not because they were horny but because all the others that didn't get horny at that time didn't pass on their spontaneity in love making. The only ones that remain are the ones that get horny at that time.

      So despite what the wife tells you - spontaneity is not a good thing.
       

    100. Re:Translation by PachmanP · · Score: 2

      Yes, because the UK's socialist Royal Mail and NHS definitely caused hammer-and-sickle flags to wave over the Houses of Parliament.

      Haven't you been reading the news? I mean the joke is practically "in Soviet UK,...". Near as I can tell, they're well past 1984 which was supposed to be a "if the commies ran Britain" kind of story anyway.

      --
      You're thinking small. Why miniaturize the laser, when we could instead enlarge the sharks? -John Searle
    101. Re:Translation by Stickerboy · · Score: 1

      >>One president is afforded better treatment and respect because of the color of his skin

      >Nope, I shouldn't have to tell you this, but comparing blacks to monkeys is just dripping racism, so you can't use that slur without appearing racist. You can still mock him for being a slimy chicago politico or something - that's OK.

      And yet, if someone depicted the ex-President Bush as a giant Saltine in a political cartoon, I doubt there would be one-tenth of the outcry. Certainly not from Al Sharpton.

      --
      Light a fire for a man and he'll be warm for a day. Light a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
    102. Re:Translation by Hal_Porter · · Score: 2, Interesting

      There's an ultra depressing postscript to this story too

      "We are not alone in the world within. There are other creatures who have this special consciousness that is said to be uniquely human."

      Osvath interviewed zookeepers at Furuvik and examined records of the chimp's behaviour. He found that Santino only gathered rocks and made concrete missiles when the zoo was closed. He gave up the behaviour completely when the zoo was shut over the winter.

      The zookeepers recently decided that an operation was the best way of controlling Santino's behaviour.

      "They have castrated the poor guy. They hope that his hormone levels will decrease and that will make him less prone to throw stones. He's already getting fatter and he likes to play much more now than before. Being agitated isn't good for him," said Osvath.

      It's like something out of Planet of the Apes.

      --
      echo -e 'global _start\n _start:\n mov eax, 2\n int 80h\n jmp _start' > a.asm; nasm a.asm -f elf; ld a.o -o a;
    103. Re:Translation by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I had a dog that was too small to catch squirrels by chasing them around in the yard. He figured that they would run up a tree. So, after a while, he ran directly to the tree, and headed the squirrel off that way. Almost worked, squirrels too fast anyway. Dog apparently remembered this from day to day.

    104. Re:Translation by KevinIsOwn · · Score: 1

      First of all, who cares what Al Sharpton thinks. Leave him out of the discussion. We all know he profits from racial outrage, and the merits of this stand without bringing him into it. There would be plenty of people outraged about referring to Bush in any racist manner.

      I think Bush was one of the worst things to ever happen to the USA, which is exactly why I'd be outraged about anyone trying to demean him racially. There are plenty of other options to demean him. Using a racial slur is simply insensitive and your accusation has absolutely no evidence.

      Not to mention your argument adds nothing to the discussion to begin with- so what if there wasn't any outrage from the "other side"? Claim your moral superiority and get over it. Whether or not there is outrage from the "other side" in no way justifies using racial slurs for Obama.

    105. Re:Translation by flewp · · Score: 1

      Watching them fall down, bleed, and get carried away in a stretcher -- not so funny.

      Hot Shots! would beg to differ.

      --
      WWJD.... for a Klondike bar?
    106. Re:Translation by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      "No, no - I wasn't joking, I was being scathing about the human race." ... and ... "This poor animal is so pissed off about being where it is ... When was the last time you were in that situation"

      Most of the human race is imprisoned by the relative levels of poverty trap, created by the power hierarchy of human pack behavior. A minority of people want power over others, so we are all in cages of one kind or another. Our countries are in theory democracies (so the sales pitches tell us), but our jobs are in companies structured like Plutocracies. You can leave one Plutocracy but most people in the world cannot afford to live without a job, so they have to submit to the rule of another Plutocracy simply to afford to live. (Ironically since the crash some businesses and governments are showing we are towards the extreme end of a Plutocracy, where they are descending into a kleptocracy, which is a common form of partial collapse for a Plutocracy).

    107. Re:Translation by Lumpy · · Score: 1

      Yet smaller monkeys are incredibly good at hucking their poop at people.

      I got really good at the local zoo upsetting the spider monkeys in the plexiglass cage to get several to throw their poo at me pelting where my head and torso was against the glass.

      --
      Do not look at laser with remaining good eye.
    108. Re:Translation by fractoid · · Score: 2, Interesting

      I would guess that the difference lies in the fact that the Chimps behavior was not a product of instinct, but that of cogent thought.

      Dunno about you but I indulge in cogent thought entirely by instinct.

      --
      Rampant carbon sequestration destroyed the Dinosaurs' tropical paradise. I'm here to help repair the damage.
    109. Re:Translation by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I'm having a tough time deciding who acts more like use... The ones who aggressively throw shit, piss, and apparently masturbate at one who comes close to their territory, or as you described the ones with enough genius to escape there containers. Are orangutans known to be less aggressive then other primates?

    110. Re:Translation by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I wonder what all the animals that prepare to hibernate in the winter would think of your statement?

      You are under the assumption that it is planning that causes an animal to prepare to hibernate and not pure instinct leading them by the nose.

      There is however, something that I saw interesting on television recently - a polar bear and her two cubs were about to cross a frozen river. Mommy knew her weight would cause the ice to collapse and she spread herself out as much as she could and walked across.
      There interesting bit is the cubs didn't do it (and it was obvious from the footage that they didn't even try - not that their attempts were poor or not visible). This is counter to what I would expect - the cubs imitate the mother.
      So yes, I do believe that many more animals have good reasoning ability than we, as humans, would like to give credit. What makes us so much better is our hands, which enable us to modify our environment - and gives us more incentive to develop our abilities.

    111. Re:Translation by c6gunner · · Score: 1

      Yes, you're right, I should have qualified the phrase "genetically wired" with the word "probably". Whatever the case though, there's no question that bird nesting behavior is completely different from this chimps abilities.

    112. Re:Translation by nightcats · · Score: 1

      He touched the monolith. One of those rocks he tosses will tumble and soar through the air and into space and become a space station with very complicated instructions on using a zero gravity toilet. Strike up the Blue Danube Waltz and open the pod bay doors!

      --
      Development is programmable; Discovery is not programmable. (Fuller)
    113. Re:Translation by lysdexia · · Score: 1

      I agree. If poor old Bonzo there had been able to predict that they were going to seperate him from his nutsac over a little premeditated rock throwing, he probably would have stuck with something softer.

    114. Re:Translation by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Babies do learn to suck tits. They have a natural urge, but they commonly do it wrong.

      Hospitals teach new parents about this in parenting classes.

      Local classes and services includes

      "BREASTFEEDING AND SETTLING YOUR BABY WORKSHOP" and "Breastfeeding Support Service"

    115. Re:Translation by Al+Al+Cool+J · · Score: 4, Funny

      Thus, researchers are always on the lookout for situations that can distinguish between the two. Novel situations where instincts wouldn't be expected to apply, pathological situations where instincts would fail if applied, etc.

      I wonder, do researchers do this instinctively or is it a cognitive process? If they are always on the lookout for these situations, then that suggests to me that it is instinctive, and that these instincts have helped lead them to succeed as researchers.

    116. Re:Translation by fractoid · · Score: 1

      That's ad logicum.

      --
      Rampant carbon sequestration destroyed the Dinosaurs' tropical paradise. I'm here to help repair the damage.
    117. Re:Translation by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      You just supported the GP's point. Comparing one man to a monkey is not permitted, because it appears racist. Comparing another man to a monkey is permitted, because he has a different skin colour.

    118. Re:Translation by fractoid · · Score: 1
      I think you're trying to say:

      You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake. You are the same decaying organic matter as everyone else, and we are all part of the same compost pile.

      --
      Rampant carbon sequestration destroyed the Dinosaurs' tropical paradise. I'm here to help repair the damage.
    119. Re:Translation by Boronx · · Score: 1

      Congrats, you've discovered that racism still exists in America, thus the sensitivity over calling a black man an ape, a common way of dehumanizing black men in the not too distant past. Now, you can argue that it's more racist to be offended by the reference than it is to make it, and I hope someday that is the case, but today most people would disagree with you and rightly so.

    120. Re:Translation by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Truly since we are primates we all look like monkeys, it just so happens orientals are more round and soft then others.

      But no color matters except the color of the grey matter, or if it is there at all.
      Comparing bush to Obama is comparing black hat to white hat hackers, they both say different things but are still hackers.

    121. Re:Translation by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Of course. The elephants won't fit through the door... oh wait!

    122. Re:Translation by dspratomo · · Score: 2, Insightful

      True enough. I read somewhere that their sexual behavior is closest to human, even in the rural area in orangutans native habitat, people told their girls to be careful at night while walking alone because they could be raped by orangutans.

      --
      Work like you don't need the money, love like you've never been hurt, and dance like you do when nobody's watching
    123. Re:Translation by hellop2 · · Score: 1

      If Obama turns out to have the intelligence of a chimp, then it will be fair game to call him a chimp. You are a racist because you want to call Obama a chimp because of the color of his skin.

      Please don't say, "I didn't say I wanted to call him blah blah.." and try to argue semantics with me. That's what you were implying.

      --
      How many more years will slashdot have an off-by-one error on your Score in your profile?
    124. Re:Translation by MichaelSmith · · Score: 3, Funny

      No doubt female orangutans are given similar warnings about human males...

    125. Re:Translation by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Translation: Intelligent primates are just as much jerks as other intelligent primates.

      But hey, if he wants out, I say let him. Air drop him back to the jungle so he can get shot by poachers then decapitated so his head and hands can be sold and mounted on someone's wall.

      Suddenly free fruit and staring at tourists doesn't sound so bad.

    126. Re:Translation by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Did you see the reaction to the New York times caricature of Obama to a chimp? No one was talking about differences in policies in their "outrage."
      Guess what, New York times APOLOGIEZED. So you can intellectualize the differences between them, but in fact, it is the skin that most people see -- that is the reality.

    127. Re:Translation by NotBornYesterday · · Score: 1

      Repeat after me: There is no border between "instinct" and "cogent thought".

      Birds build nests and spiders build nests because that is what they are biologically programmed to do. They all do it. Otherwise they die.

      In humans, as with animals, eating, screwing and fighting are fairly instinctive in themselves, but how we do it (sometimes) involves cogent forethought. Plus, we (or at least, some of us) do lots of other stuff that is not remotely instinctual, like pondering the nature of matter and the universe, and eventually realizing that E=MC2, that spacetime tells matter how to move and matter tells spacetime how to bend.

      There is no instinct that makes us think E=MC2 every spring when it's time to find a mate.

      --
      I prefer rogues to imbeciles because they sometimes take a rest.
    128. Re:Translation by mochan_s · · Score: 1

      ... Depending on the facility, this can be as much as $20,000USD per ape per year. ...

      Yeah, if only there was a place where the apes would be able live a happy life without imprisonment.

    129. Re:Translation by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Likewise, why don't Christians off themselves, since heaven is such a great place? Ta ta, tootle-oo, don't forget to write.

    130. Re:Translation by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      No wonder depression and suicide rates are going up nation wide.

      Suffering and ignorance make people suicidal. If everything a person knows or does is meaningless, than everything they don't know or do has meaning. Persuing that ends when someone runs out of patience.

      Its not like you have anything to lose by just offing yourself...

      As a staunch atheist, I don't believe you just said that.

      I really have often wondered why staunch atheists really bother sticking around at all...

      Some of us have a sense of humor.

    131. Re:Translation by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Also, they occasionally experiment with fire.

      This is not a good thing. Especially when they get into the five-liter drums of fuel.

    132. Re:Translation by TapeCutter · · Score: 1

      "Near as I can tell, they're well past 1984 which was supposed to be a "if the commies ran Britain" kind of story anyway."

      I recently spent 5 weeks traveling the UK in a rental, I got one speeding ticket via a camera but nobody tried to strap a rat to my face?

      --
      And did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage? - Pink Floyd.
    133. Re:Translation by nobdoor · · Score: 1

      While you are right in saying this, I was making a different point completely. The OP said something along the lines of 'it's uncommon for animals to plan ahead.' My example was simply showing that he was wrong.

    134. Re:Translation by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I'm not disagreeing with you, but isn't it entirely possible that the chimp simply collected the stones for an unrelated reason or because of boredom, then, after randomly becoming agitated the next day, it began to throw the stones at zoo guests? I'm just saying that we may be jumping to conclusions by assuming that a pile of stones was a planned act, the fact that it threw them later could well be a coincidence. We need double blind experiments in which results can be reproduced to reach such conclusions. If such an occurrence could be reproduced in a controlled environment then there would be a much stronger case.

    135. Re:Translation by cgenman · · Score: 1

      Cats predict their feeding time pretty well. Ours freak out when luggage comes out, because they know that preceeds a move or an extended period where we're away.

      Quite frankly, the only reason this is news is because it further chips away at our flimsy excuses to treat intelligent animals so poorly. Koko knew frick'in sign language for crying out loud, yet there are still people who argue that they are not intelligent enough to feel pain.

    136. Re:Translation by Ian+Alexander · · Score: 3, Informative

      If you think the UK is "well past" 1984 you didn't read the fucking book.

    137. Re:Translation by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I don't respond to Anonymous Cowards. And, no, I am NOT an American.

      You're an American
      Perhaps even Dick Cheney!!!

    138. Re:Translation by yariv · · Score: 1

      It turns out that the OUs [Orangutans]... are the more cunning of the two -- she likened them to engineers.

      Engineers might not be the best description, but they do make great librarians.

    139. Re:Translation by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      One's a Republican, and the other's a Democrat?

    140. Re:Translation by TapeCutter · · Score: 1

      They used to be called "The wild man of Borneo". Many tribes who live near chimps have traditionally seen them the same way they see other human tribes in the area, ie: just another bunch of sub-humans.

      --
      And did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage? - Pink Floyd.
    141. Re:Translation by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

      Congratulations, you have the world's dumbest cat.

    142. Re:Translation by perryizgr8 · · Score: 1

      i am jack's obligatory cult movie quote.

      --
      Wealth is the gift that keeps on giving.
    143. Re:Translation by fractoid · · Score: 1

      'Complete lack of surprise' would also have been satisfyingly apposite.

      --
      Rampant carbon sequestration destroyed the Dinosaurs' tropical paradise. I'm here to help repair the damage.
    144. Re:Translation by turing_m · · Score: 1

      It turns out that the OUs (you don't say "orangs", as it offends some of the more hard-core keepers) are the more cunning of the two -- she likened them to engineers.

      Shh. There are CEOs who read this site, and right now they are looking to cut costs.

      --
      If I have seen further it is by stealing the Intellectual Property of giants.
    145. Re:Translation by ElderKorean · · Score: 1

      you don't say "orangs", as it offends some of the more hard-core keepers

      That is really funny because "orang" is a Malay (and Indonesian) word for "person."

      Just don't call him a monkey, he really hates that.

    146. Re:Translation by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Had you said that in mathematics, I would have believed you.

      But he did! His message was completely represented by the numbers 1 and 0, how much more mathematical can you get?

    147. Re:Translation by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      There's something to this. When you were a kid, how many times did you stir up ant piles just to see them all run around in panic mode? (It can't have just been me.)

      [Aside: if they were army ants, would it have been a colonel panic?]

    148. Re:Translation by TapeCutter · · Score: 1

      My question is; why is "indentifying a pattern" not an "evolutionary adaptation", or for that matter why is it not "instinctual"? Is the adult urge to make simple everyday plans to find nourishment not as strong as a baby's urge to suckle?

      "There is a VERY important difference here."

      I know sweet FA about the field beyond what I see in Attenbourgh documentries but I'm sure the researchers who spend a long time contemplating these things realise that categorizing congnative abilities along nature vs nurture lines is not as usefull as it once was considered to be. OTOH there will always be those who think humans have a magical quality that somehow makes our species less constrained by it's DNA and the environment it finds itself in.

      --
      And did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage? - Pink Floyd.
    149. Re:Translation by lgw · · Score: 1

      Goedel's theorum casts significant doubt on that (just because that's the intent of math doesn't automatically make math capable in doing so).

      I agree with you - I think mathematics (or logic, or lambda calculus, or any equivalent system) lets you model every statement of concepts, including nonsensical ones like the Spanish Barber "paradox". But "experts disagree" on this.

      --
      Socialism: a lie told by totalitarians and believed by fools.
    150. Re:Translation by Paradise+Pete · · Score: 1

      nd you cannot represent every statement of concepts in a purely mathematical expression.

      Using a statement like that to argue against his point is like proving someone is not tall by pointing out that not everyone is tall.

    151. Re:Translation by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Well, of course the UK is well past 1984, it's 2009! And what book are you talking about?

    152. Re:Translation by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I don't. I think Bush is probably smarter, less ignorant and less of a racist.

      On the other hand, I think Obama, like Bush, is probably smarter than most of his detractors.

    153. Re:Translation by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Are you american?

    154. Re:Translation by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      and... he didn't just collect stones... in TFA it says he checked a stone wall/area for weak spots broke pieces off and if the pieces were too heavy to throw he broke them down further.

      So he is surveying the weak part of a wall, breaking pieces, refining the thrown weapon, caching the weapons for easy access and positional relevance, waiting for the right opportunity.

      Other animals do some of these various things but all together is something new.

    155. Re:Translation by CmdrGravy · · Score: 1

      No wonder depression and suicide rates are going up nation wide

      That's not suicide you dolt, it's the rapture and it's no wonder people get all depressed when they realise they've been left behind.

    156. Re:Translation by xouumalperxe · · Score: 2, Interesting

      The distinction between instinct and cogent thought is very real unlike what you imply. If spiders had to learn how to spin a web, they would starve, and so in their case, cogent thought is neither needed nor important.

      To expand on the point, and to show one of the more elaborate examples: New Caledonian Crows

    157. Re:Translation by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Man you are so outofit. You clearly don't know that back in the Congo these apes live a life of luxury in their high-rise apartment complexes overlooking congo river. They're very entrepreneurial and invest wisely in futures funds and are excellent Hedge-ers.
      Clearly, the reason for the missiles is the guy's exasperation at the current meltdown and he's throwing stones at the incompetent finiancial types.

    158. Re:Translation by Pentagram · · Score: 3, Interesting

      Because building a nest is genetically wired into the bird.

      I wasn't aware that we had decoded genomes to that level of detail.
       

      We don't need to. It's easy to test: hatch and bring up a bird in isolation from the rest of its species. If it starts building nests (maybe you'd have to artificially inseminate it first, not sure what triggers the behaviour) then you can fairly safely conclude that it is instinct rather than learnt behaviour. And I believe this is what happens.

      Personally I find it incredible that behaviour so specific can be encoded in the genome, but it seems to be the case.

    159. Re:Translation by VShael · · Score: 1

      Comparing Bush to a chimp is considered fair game. Comparing Obama to one is considered unacceptable.

      Yes. That's because the comparisons with Bush were based on photographs of multiple facial expressions and the general publics estimate of his mis-edu-ma-cation.

      With Obama, it's a short hand for racism.

      If you can find me a set of photos of Obama, where he's not *trying* to mimic a chimp, but just happens to look like him, I'll give you a free pass and you can call him chimp boy to your little black hearts content.

      I'm afraid you'll just have to go back to calling him "O'Bomber" "President Hussein" "socialist" "marxist" "muslim" "atheist" "Bolshevik" "Osama" etc....

    160. Re:Translation by I+cant+believe+its+n · · Score: 4, Interesting

      I'm on your side Hurricane. Humans are special (but not that special)

      I have actually seen our dog understand how to catch rodents. The insight was an obvious watershed, because he went from zero successes over 5 or 6 years, to multiple successes per month for the rest of his "active" years after the realization:

      Over here we have a type of rodent(in swedish they are called Skogssork, similar to or the same as Bank Voles) which creates a nest for its family by digging tunnel systems in the dirt. These tunnels can be several meters long so the Voles can exit the nest at many places.
      Our dog had for many (annoying) years stood barking with his nose stuck down any of the tunnel openings, trying to dig his way to the Voles. He did this for hours at end and it was his best passtime.

      One day when he had barked into an opening, I happened to be nearby and I saw a Vole exiting the nest by an opening far away from where our dog was, it having reacted to the dogs threat. I called out to our dog to chase it. Our dog saw the Vole and tried to get it, but could not catch it in time before it went underground again.

      Now comes the cool thing:
      He then (after years of stupid barking down tunnel openings), went to the opening where the Vole had gone in, barked really loud, and then silently snuck back to the opposite side of the nest where he waited silently. After many years of pointless barking, he finally caught his first Vole. After that day our dog regularly brought home Voles, because he had understood how to outthink his rodent enemy.

      --
      She made the willows dance
    161. Re:Translation by qc_dk · · Score: 1

      GÃdel proved that for any system of logic you cannot have both consistency and completeness. Basically that means that your system is either going to have true statements that it is unable to prove to be so or that some statements can be proven to be both true and false.

    162. Re:Translation by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Oook.

    163. Re:Translation by kinnell · · Score: 1

      Haven't you been reading the news? I mean the joke is practically "in Soviet UK,...". Near as I can tell, they're well past 1984 which was supposed to be a "if the commies ran Britain" kind of story anyway.

      1984 was about totalitarianism, not communism.

      --
      If I seem short sighted, it is because I stand on the shoulders of midgets
    164. Re:Translation by deadweight · · Score: 1

      I read of a cheetah that was interested in eating a farmer's livestock someplace in Africa. The animals were normally enclosed in a cheetah-proof fence, but 3 times a week they were taken out for some reason. The cheetah learned the schedule and only came around on the days the animals were out to try his luck and never on the other days. My dog gets irate if not walked between 5 and 6 pm. Animals can learn a schedule!

    165. Re:Translation by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      What's wrong with being depicted as a monkey; they're smart ass, rock attack planning, dudes, according to the article.

      (Yeah, I know;monkeys,chimps,apes. All the same to me)

    166. Re:Translation by Sabriel · · Score: 1

      You don't eat because you realize that if don't various mechanisms in your body are going to fail. You eat because you are hungry.

      I occasionally do have to realise just that - my "hunger sense" is glitchy and doesn't always work.

      I wonder if we humans evolved planning (and the whole self-aware ball of wax) at least in part due to insufficiently evolved instincts?

    167. Re:Translation by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      That's probably due to the fact that humans and chimps are about 96% genetically identical.

    168. Re:Translation by Aceticon · · Score: 1

      The problem is when a vocal some within the minorities start to demand extra respect and extra rights because of their race/religion/sex and as "compensation" for past harm done by some ancestors of the minority to some ancestors of the majority.

      These people are a selfish minority that try to use the system for personal gain.

      Not being racist is treating everybody equally independently of their race/religion/sex. Expecting better treatment because you're a member of a racial-group/religious-group/gender, be it the majority one or a minority one is racism/discrimination.

      Problems like poverty or low education with disproportionally affect members of a racial-group/religious-group/gender are better solver by targeting the actual problem (poverty, low education) and not the externalities.

    169. Re:Translation by Eunuchswear · · Score: 1

      Translation: "I'm an intelligent primate who doesn't like being caged up for your amusement."

      Anyway the "problem" is solved - they cut his balls off.

      If intelligent space aliens ever come there are going to be some very surprised people when the atrocity trials start.

      --
      Watch this Heartland Institute video
    170. Re:Translation by Eunuchswear · · Score: 1

      Come on mods, this isn't "funny", this is "insightful".

      --
      Watch this Heartland Institute video
    171. Re:Translation by Eunuchswear · · Score: 1

      Quite frankly, the only reason this is news is because it further chips away at our flimsy excuses to treat intelligent animals so poorly.

      and if you RTFA you'll find that our reaction to this interesting discovery about this chimps intelligence was to cut his fucking balls off.

      --
      Watch this Heartland Institute video
    172. Re:Translation by jlehtira · · Score: 2, Interesting

      Only intelligent animals keep other animals in cages.

      Herding Aphids: How 'Farmer' Ants Keep Control Of Their Food: ants have been known to bite the wings off the aphids in order to stop them from getting away and depriving the ants of one of their staple foods: the sugar-rich sticky honeydew which is excreted by aphids when they eat plants.

    173. Re:Translation by I.M.O.G. · · Score: 1

      How about their uncontrollability being down to the fact that they have been sentenced to a life behind bars when they are probably aware that they have committed no social crimes, precisely because they have that kind of intelligence?

      Not exactly. While they are intelligent, we shouldn't personify their actions - they are still wild animals, just very smart ones. They don't know what social crimes are, and if you sat down to dinner with one and he didn't get enough to eat - he wouldn't hesitate to rip your face off in order to take your portion also. He wouldn't say that's probably not socially acceptable.

      This is akin to saying your dog barks frantically at other dogs because he thinks he's a person. He doesn't think he's a person, he's just imbalanced in a way where he's not comfortable with his own kind. If he was socially balanced with his species, had more exposure in a "normal" dog environment interacting with his kind, he wouldn't respond frantically anymore.

    174. Re:Translation by Joey+Vegetables · · Score: 1

      Comparing Bush to a chimp is considered fair game. Comparing Obama to one is considered unacceptable.

      If I were a chimp, I would be outraged by either comparison.

    175. Re:Translation by adam.ec · · Score: 1

      knocking out disks from concrete boulders

      Actually they'll probably call you a pirate if you keep this up but you could get a great job at Microsoft's boxed distro production unit.

    176. Re:Translation by Kashgarinn · · Score: 1

      "To be honest, I'm suprised that you're suprised that people who study chimps are suprised by this."(sic)

      - How surprising. Does that mean I'm surprised at people being surprised that people are surprised at people who are surprised that experts are surprised by monkeys behavior?

      I surprise myself sometimes.

    177. Re:Translation by argoth · · Score: 1

      So, perhaps the conversation should have been something more along the lines of:

      AC >> And you cannot represent every statement of concepts in a purely mathematical expression.

      Slumdog >> 0

    178. Re:Translation by everett · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Ok, I'll bite on this obvious one. As someone higher in the thread posted "make a bird sterile, and it will still build a nest" is a perfect example of a behavior that isn't cogent. Does this monkey still throw a hail storm of rocks at nothing on days the zoo is closed? This monkey is cogent.

      "Let's ask: On a scale measuring what exactly, with what defined points, is a chimp's behavior doing what exactly on what position, related to that of a bird or spider doing what exactly?"

      Research like this is what will allow us to precisely define such a scale, give it time but don't decry research that is obviously working towards an answer that you seek.

      --
      Sig withheld to protect the innocent.
    179. Re:Translation by Yold · · Score: 1

      computers express everything with mathematics, you read his statement on a computer, therefore his statement was expressed in mathematics.

    180. Re:Translation by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Watching humans scream with panic and run away when you throw things at them is funny! Watching them fall down, bleed, and get carried away in a stretcher -- not so funny.

      Why? Because your mother always said, "It's only funny until someone gets hurt."
      She left off the important part: "Then it's hilarious."

    181. Re:Translation by cayenne8 · · Score: 1
      "Damned dirty apes!!!!"

      --With apologies to Charlton Heston R.I.P.

      --
      Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.........
    182. Re:Translation by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Have you ever seen a congresmen?

      Prove that chimps can plan - just not well *cough* bailout *cough*

    183. Re:Translation by dangitman · · Score: 1

      Hate to be the one to bring this up, but you don't capitalize chimpanzee, ape or monkey, as they are not proper nouns.

      --
      ... and then they built the supercollider.
    184. Re:Translation by AgentSmith · · Score: 1

      Likewise, why don't Christians off themselves, since heaven is such a great place? Ta ta, tootle-oo, don't forget to write.

      Because if you 'off' yourself you don't get there. See how that works?
      Yet Christians still have this hypocritical dichotomy that we value life for that and many other reasons, but kill in the name of God sometimes. Which in true practice we shouldn't be killing.

      I'm Christian, but I'm not under the illusion that the topic of killing isn't all a big grey area with few clear answers.

      Moving onto the topic. Most zoos and people don't really respect the social manners of primates. I went one time to the National Zoo in D.C. While the zoo tries a great deal to keep and care for all its animals, the primates all looked very sad and frustrated. There weren't many places for them to hide from the scores of kids banging on the plexiglass barriers. People didn't bother to read the posted signs telling them how to approach any of the apes or orangutans properly.

      As for Santino the chimp no wonder why he was upset. For even normal people of limited cognitive ability when you confine them in a limited space and have them examined for hours and days on end by everyone they are going to be upset. Zoos might be gilded cages that allow animals to live a better life in terms of food and care, but it's still confinement. What's the solution? Increasing Zoo sizes and modify zoo habitat more to suit a particular animal's behavioral needs. We can't get rid of zoos, because some are still able to serve as a sanctuary for certain animals and it does provide exposure to animals for people in urban areas who barely see any animal life.

    185. Re:Translation by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      No, you don't. You *learned* language as a short-cut as a modern human instead of developing language over a long period of time. Cogent thought is simply language inside your head. Before language developed hominids had emotional feelings and instinct and little else.

    186. Re:Translation by Stratocastr · · Score: 2, Funny
      anti-social != anti-socialist Therefore,

      opposite of anti-social is social. opposite of anti-socialist is socialist.

      social = goes to parties and stuff and eventually gets laid

      socialist = believes that everything belongs to everyone (no correlation to getting laid)

      communist = wears red and does not get laid

      --
      Slashdot - I went there to fix their grammar that they're so bad at.
    187. Re:Translation by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      You're talking about the racists of the past.

      Today's racists are you, and people like you.

    188. Re:Translation by Hijacked+Public · · Score: 3, Interesting

      My dog does the same thing.

      We went bird hunting. He pointed a rabbit. I shocked him via a remote shock collar. This scenario repeated a few times. Now when we go bird hunting he has decided to no longer point rabbits because he has deduced, correctly, that I will shock him if he does.

      He didn't really prepare any materials though, and I didn't RTFA, so maybe this is something widly different.

      I think many different animals exhibit complex behavior that people see as simple because it is common. My dog's natural inclination is to point at every interesting thing he finds. Through repeated exposure I've modified that inclination. I don't think it matters much whether that modification was purposeful on my part or accidental on the part of strangers visiting his kennel.

      --
      "Sacrifice for the good of The State" - The State
    189. Re:Translation by hey! · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Repeat after me: there is no border between "day" and "night".

      That doesn't mean there is no difference.

      If I'm working on a mathematical proof, I'm reasonably sure that what I'm doing can't be called "instinctual".

      On the other hand, I was once walking down a city street just before dawn, and I saw an absolutely huge gray animal shambling down the sidewalk; it was gray and furry and about the size of a kid's red wagon. I jumped out into the street -- and act I think can be reasonably called "instinctual" -- from which point I realized that the animal was an absolutely filthy raccoon. The critter was so dirty you could barely make out his mask. He was big and fat for a coon, yes, but not in the fifty to seventy five pound range like I'd thought it had been.

      Both these acts are different, yes, and I think they can reasonably be characterized by different names represent opposite ends of some scale. That doesn't preclude the portion of the scale between those acts from containing a whole spectrum of things that in varying degrees "instinctual" and "cogent".

      It's insisting that there is is a perfectly sharp dividing line between instinct and rationality that non-human animals cannot cross that leads to inane assertions, e.g. the chimp in question had ot be acting "entirely instinctually". Another set of absurdities come from thinking of instincts as simple, having relatively straightforward internal logic. In the case of my raccoon story, lots of really quite interesting cognitive things were going on. One part of my brain acquired the image of the animal, could not recognize it by appearance or context, and decided to prioritize the situation by telling the rest of the brain it was about five times as large as it really was.

      --
      Post may contain irony: discontinue use if experiencing mood swings, nausea or elevated blood pressure.
    190. Re:Translation by Austerity+Empowers · · Score: 1

      This sounds like some new scholasticism. There is no gene for doing calculus. There's no racial memory or instinctual source for it. If there were, why did it suddenly manifest itself around the time of Newton/Leibniz? We may have a natural inclination to use tools to solve our problem that is probably instinctual judging by how my 1yo child acts, but he's a long way from calculus. I will try to threaten him with some reinmann sums tonight to see if this instinct manifests, but I'm not holding my breath.

      But to say there's no difference between cogent thought and instinct requires a lot of proof that you haven't presented. I think hurling stones may be instinct, but preparing an ammunition cache? From TFA, remembering to bring the right tool for the job? You'd have to convince me that's anything other than problem solving.

    191. Re:Translation by hey! · · Score: 1

      I'm sorry, I don't buy that one word distinction.

      Operant conditioning is a form of "learning". It doesn't qualify actions that result from a trained stimulus as "rational".

      --
      Post may contain irony: discontinue use if experiencing mood swings, nausea or elevated blood pressure.
    192. Re:Translation by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      "Next you're going to complain that white people who wear white robes with pointed hoods are unfairly stereotyped."

      As what? The Pope?

    193. Re:Translation by pintpusher · · Score: 1

      I used to sit off to the side of the outdoor chimp enclosure at the St Louis zoo for hours (this was when I was a kid) and watch their antics. My favorite was a particular chimp who would fill his mouth with water and then proceed to calmly, nonchalantly, saunter around the enclosure until he settled calmly at the bars with his back turned to the crowd. He'd then wait for several minutes, sometimes as long as 10-15, before calmly turning his head over his shoulder and dowsing whoever was nearest. He had figured out that if if he ran right up and started spitting, people got out of the way. But if he took his time, and waited long enough, some rube would get close enough for a serious dowsing. Oh, and apparently chimps can hold a *lot* of water in their mouths...

      --
      man, I feel like mold.
    194. Re:Translation by Darby · · Score: 1

      1984 was about totalitarianism, not communism.

      1984 was about Socialism "IngSoc" gone crazy. Of course it was totalitarian, but totalitarian is an extremely broad characterization. Communism or Socialism are more descriptive of the actual type of government.

      So, saying 1984 was about totalitarianism is to miss the vast majority of the point.
      Brave New World was, likewise, about totalitarianism, but when you state that as if it meant anything of interest of value it, again, completely misses the point.

      1984 was a fictional account of what happens when a left wing government goes off the rails to the extreme.
      Brave New World is similar except that it is about right wing extremism.

      When you lump them both as totalitarianism, you completely miss the point. If describing them as merely "totalitarian" was in any way meaningful, then Communism and Fascism would be the same instead of opposite extremes, which they are. That distinction is critical to understand to even recognize the modern world.

    195. Re:Translation by c6gunner · · Score: 1

      They learn a schedule based on their needs and desires, but they (as far as I know) don't have any understanding of time. Your dog simply syncs his natural rhythm with your own schedule. Now, if he were to come to you at 3pm and remind you that he needs to be walked in 2 hours, THEN you'd have a pretty special dog :)

    196. Re:Translation by einhverfr · · Score: 1

      "Wild Man" is a passable translation of "Orang Utan."

      Do the hard-core keepers get offended because calling one an "Orang" implies it is human?

      --

      LedgerSMB: Open source Accounting/ERP
    197. Re:Translation by c6gunner · · Score: 1

      Now when we go bird hunting he has decided to no longer point rabbits because he has deduced, correctly, that I will shock him if he does.

      He's associated an action with a feeling. He knows that "if I do this, bad thing will happen". Now try training him to not point at rabbits between 3 and 5, but to always point at them between 7 and 9. He can't even grasp such concepts, let alone learn to prepare for them.

    198. Re:Translation by cthulhu11 · · Score: 1

      One of the key differences between humans and animals is that humans have a much more advanced ability to predict what will happen in the future and to make preparations to deal with that prediction Never heard of New Orleans, have you?

    199. Re:Translation by syn3rg · · Score: 1

      He obviously didn't plan far enough ahead: they removed his cajones for throwing rocks.

      --
      The contents of this message have been doubly encrypted by ROT13
    200. Re:Translation by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      To be honest, I'm suprised that you're suprised that people who study chimps are suprised by this.

      How surprising!

    201. Re:Translation by scot4875 · · Score: 1

      But you can still call each of them lying, incompetent douchebags if you're so inclined.

      Not being able to relate Obama to an ape or monkey has more to do with cultural sensitivity than any double standard.

      --Jeremy

      --
      Jesus was a liberal
    202. Re:Translation by scot4875 · · Score: 1

      I don't think you understand double standards.

      A double standard is when under Bush the Dow dips by 30% (14k -> 9k) and it's "the economy's" fault, but when Obama takes office and the Dow dips 30% (9k->6k) it's Obama's policies that are at fault.

      A double standard would be people getting upset over a needless war in Iraq started by Bush, and then not getting upset of Obama started his own needless war in, say, Somalia.

      A double standard would be denouncing Bush's fuck ups, and then refusing to acknowledge Obama's fuck ups.

      It is *not* a double standard to say, "hey, that statement you just made could be interpreted as racist," when the statement could, in fact, and without even that much of a stretch of the imagination, be interpreted as racist.

      Do you understand the difference?

      --Jeremy

      --
      Jesus was a liberal
    203. Re:Translation by kinnell · · Score: 1

      1984 was about Socialism "IngSoc" gone crazy. Of course it was totalitarian, but totalitarian is an extremely broad characterization. Communism or Socialism are more descriptive of the actual type of government.

      So, saying 1984 was about totalitarianism is to miss the vast majority of the point. Brave New World was, likewise, about totalitarianism, but when you state that as if it meant anything of interest of value it, again, completely misses the point.

      You should really read the book again. The fact that the government regards itself as socialist is neither here nor there. If the goverment was facist in nature, do you think the book would have been significantly different? The book is about the effects of a government exercising absolute control over it's citizenry in order to achieve it's political ideals, which you will notice are not at all socialist or communist in nature. This is totalitarianism. If he had wanted to portray a true socialist state he would have made it classless.

      --
      If I seem short sighted, it is because I stand on the shoulders of midgets
    204. Re:Translation by sleepdev · · Score: 0

      that is the exact fallacy that was being dismissed. correlation vs causation can't be determined in this case. the key is that there are at least 3 classes of behaviours: learned, instinctive, and discovered.

      did your parents teach you how to eat? if you grew up away from your species would you be able to learn to eat by yourself? if you grew up on a planet with entirely new species of plants, how would your instincts help determine which plants are poisonous?

      at some point you have to admit that some behaviours are new actions that you just had to figure out for yourself. albeit you might come up with a very similar solution to others before you.

    205. Re:Translation by nahdude812 · · Score: 1

      How do they know what the chimp's intention with his weapons arsenal was? TFA didn't say or I missed it.

      Couldn't he have been building an arsenal for no specific purpose, then saw humans and decided to deploy these weapons which were at hand?

      The 2006 experiment described in the article sounds way more convincing. It established a learning scenario, and the orangutans were able to predict which tool they would need for a job, then remember to bring that tool along with them.

      This event was an anecdote which could be explained by other simpler functions.

    206. Re:Translation by elrous0 · · Score: 1

      Go into any U.S. maximum security prison and you'll see just how much we're alike. Kind of warms the heart to know that we both sling shit at the guards.

      --
      SJW: Someone who has run out of real oppression, and has to fake it.
    207. Re:Translation by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      A parrot (now dead) â¦

      No, it's no dead. It's just resting. It's pining for the fyords.

    208. Re:Translation by DJGrahamJ · · Score: 1

      Hey ya! Kinda like a city but with grass and things to swing on (trees perhaps?) and hey, maybe other animals! We could let the trees grow and grow and then cut them all down to make paper out of them.

      Ahhh the magical land of the future...

    209. Re:Translation by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Yes, let's never get past history. Who wants a world where everyone's equal in every way anyway?

    210. Re:Translation by spacefiddle · · Score: 1

      Sigh. Your paranoia about perceived liberalism has unfortunately has caused you to footbullet:

      there have even been documented incidents

      Some species of ants

      Yes, various living things will quite ruthlessly and efficiently obliterate a threat, or competition, or whatever else activates that trigger. They're really rather good at it, too. This may be because they don't need the funding approved or a resolution from Congress. (I wonder how the Queen evaluates her intelligence sources..? :D).

      I am sorry to have triggered your Red-Alert (ahem) reaction, so let's look at my hypothesis again, bold parts added because i like the b tag:

      Maybe it isn't a universal trait that serious injury or death is the only way

      Now, i'll give you the Maybe, because it's understood that when you get a conditional in context like that, the implication is that the speaker is endorsing that belief, and it isn't a truly fair "maybe." So okay. However, I'd have to modify my sentence further to make it into the kind of absolute statement you seem to want to think it is.

      But thanks so much for stopping by to educate the poor unlearned liberal. If i see him, i'll tell him you were here.

    211. Re:Translation by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      you haven't posted this as AC? kudos!

    212. Re:Translation by Spacezilla · · Score: 1

      I shocked him via a remote shock collar.

      Wait, what? Is that even legal? Even if it is legal, don't you think it's wrong?

    213. Re:Translation by Darby · · Score: 1

      If the goverment was facist in nature, do you think the book would have been significantly different?

      In many ways it would have been. There was a book written about a fascist dystopia. It was called Brave New World and it was significantly different than 1984 as I already pointed out.

      The book is about the effects of a government exercising absolute control over it's citizenry in order to achieve it's political ideals, which you will notice are not at all socialist or communist in nature. This is totalitarianism.

      However the point you seem to be willfully trying to miss is that while it may be totalitarianism, that isn't the whole picture and you've missed a great deal of very important things about the book.

      You're also missing the very clear point that while totalitarianism is a very general description of an authoritarian government, the extremity of its generality makes it mostly worthless as a descriptive term given the many vastly different types of government which fit under that umbrella.

      This includes Communism and Fascism which are extreme polar opposites.

      So, no, I don't need to reread 1984. You do.
      Then go read Brave New World.

      Then write me up a report comparing and contrasting the societies in each of them.

      Unless you're completely out of touch with reality, you will notice some rather major differences between the societies in each book. Those differences are largely due to the respective author's decisions to write about the extremes of the left and the right specifically, as opposed to merely writing about the evils of totalitarianism.

      In 1984 everyone was equal. Except the proles who don't matter and the party elite who are more equal. Left wing extremism in a nutshell.
      In Brave New World, some people were born "better" and everyone was brainwashed into being happy about it. Right wing extremism in a nutshell.

      If he had wanted to portray a true socialist state he would have made it classless.
      Maybe, maybe not but that's irrelevant. He wanted to portray a Socialist dystopia, not a real socialist state. And as we all know Orwell was well aware in a Socialist dystopia ( and hell even in real Stalinist communism) some animals are more equal than others.

    214. Re:Translation by lgw · · Score: 1

      That's one interpretaion os the consequences of Goedels theorum. As I said, this is an area where "experts disagree".

      --
      Socialism: a lie told by totalitarians and believed by fools.
    215. Re:Translation by Follis · · Score: 1

      Citation on disagreement? Every time I've seen Goedel's presented it's been consistent with the parent. I'd be really interested in seeing alternate viewpoints by other mathematicians.

    216. Re:Translation by CXT · · Score: 1

      Big deal. Some chimp hides a few weapons behind his large black monoli... hang on a minute!

    217. Re:Translation by kinnell · · Score: 1
      Wikipedia says:

      Nineteen Eighty-Four is a classic dystopian novel by English author George Orwell. Published in 1949, it is set in the eponymous year and focuses on a repressive, totalitarian regime.

      and

      The book has often been misinterpreted as an attack on socialism; Orwell himself had occasion to refute such claims, both privately and in public.

      Perhaps you should set about editing these pages, as the people who wrote them are obviously as clueless as me. While you're at it, the page on Brave New World doesn't yet have a treatise on the book as a criticism of facism, so you might want to fill that in too. Personally, I don't see any connection with facism in brave new world whatsoever.

      --
      If I seem short sighted, it is because I stand on the shoulders of midgets
    218. Re:Translation by Pentagram · · Score: 1

      that is the exact fallacy that was being dismissed. correlation vs causation can't be determined in this case. the key is that there are at least 3 classes of behaviours: learned, instinctive, and discovered.

      How could a bird discover how to build a nest without any motivation to do so? It needs to build the nest before it lays an egg, and it does.

      Anyway, there is other evidence: birds will build nests in the style of its species rather than making up some new arrangement, even if it has no contact with its species.

      did your parents teach you how to eat? if you grew up away from your species would you be able to learn to eat by yourself? if you grew up on a planet with entirely new species of plants, how would your instincts help determine which plants are poisonous?

        at some point you have to admit that some behaviours are new actions that you just had to figure out for yourself. albeit you might come up with a very similar solution to others before you.

      Well I am not a bird and am capable of abstract thought, so I don't understand any point you are trying to make.

    219. Re:Translation by Golddess · · Score: 1

      Now try training him to not point at rabbits between 3 and 5, but to always point at them between 7 and 9. He can't even grasp such concepts, let alone learn to prepare for them.

      You'd be surprised what a dog can grasp. It may not be exactly between 3 and 5 or 7 and 9 (I'd like to see you figure out the exact time in the middle of the woods wearing nothing but a slobbering smile), but I'm sure it's well within a dog's abilities to figure out, based on the available light from the sun, or any number of other signs, when it's getting close to when he and Master are to hunt wabbits.

      Now I don't hunt wabbits (or anything for that matter), so couldn't say when one normally hunts wabbits. Feel free to substitute in ducks for wabbits, I think that might make better sense than wabbits but don't feel like revising my post.

      --
      "I'm not sure I like the fugnutish tone you used in your post!" -RogL (608926)-
    220. Re:Translation by Hijacked+Public · · Score: 1

      Of course it is legal.

      And I obviously don't think it is wrong.

      --
      "Sacrifice for the good of The State" - The State
    221. Re:Translation by Hijacked+Public · · Score: 1

      But my dog knows that when I put on his shock collar we are going hunting as he gets visibly more excited than when we are just going for a walk in the woods. He knows that before long he'll find birds, which he seems to enjoy. I've often wished I had the knowledge to measure whether his nose get wetter when he thinks we are going hunting so I'd know it wasn't my imagination. Regardless, subjectively, he seems to have some concept of something cool happening in the future.

      And for the record this is true of all decent hunting dogs I've ever been around, I'm not just thinking my dog is some kind of super dog.

      It has been hours and I still haven't RTFA, but I always assume these various 'breakthrough' animal behavior observations have some ulterior motive.

      --
      "Sacrifice for the good of The State" - The State
    222. Re:Translation by c6gunner · · Score: 1

      But my dog knows that when I put on his shock collar we are going hunting as he gets visibly more excited than when we are just going for a walk in the woods

      Yes, and when I was working in a canine unit, we trained the dogs to differentiate between work-mode and play-mode based on the collars we used. You put one collar on them, and they're vicious attack dogs held back by rigid discipline and unquestioning obedience. Put the other collar on them, and they're as playful and mischievous as any puppy.

      That's still a different phenomenon. It shows recollection and some awareness, sure, but it's a far cry from being able to prepare for future events.

      Anyway, I should state that IANAP, so I might just be talking out of my ass here :) Could be that I'm prone to primate-bias. It just seems to me that for most animals, most actions are instinctive, and those that aren't instinctive are reactive. They react to a sound, a smell, a texture, or the presence of a particular person. They have the ability to learn from experience, but they don't seem to be able to project their actions into the future and predict the possible outcome. That's why chimps can learn to do all sorts of things on their own - including primitive tool use - while dogs only react to the training you give them.

    223. Re:Translation by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      1*(Yes we can, it is the whole point of mathematics. +1 -1)

    224. Re:Translation by RockDoctor · · Score: 1

      And they call me anti-social next they are going to call me a communist.

      And I bet they meant it as an insult too! The fools!

      An amusing scene yesterday afternoon : in amongst the "usual suspects" at the Citizenship Ceremony (from Moldova, the Philippines, Venezuela etc) was a family of 3 Israelis taking citizenship and one American. Obviously all is still sweetness and light in the 51 states.

      --
      Birds are not dinosaur descendants;birds are dinosaurs, for all useful meanings of "birds", "are" and "dinosaurs"
    225. Re:Translation by hesiod · · Score: 1

      It's not like it's a hundred amps, it's a very small shock, and is an extremely common canine training method used around the world.

    226. Re:Translation by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      oH, sNaP!

    227. Re:Translation by Xerolooper · · Score: 1

      How is building a pile of stones to throw different than a bird building a nest before laying eggs?

      Because building a nest is genetically wired into the bird. Make the bird sterile, and it'll keep building nests anyway. Moreover, it's a behavior which has existed for millions of years. It's a completely different phenomenon than a chimp learning to use objects as weapons.

      The big thing is that it demonstrates that chimpanzees have some rudimentary understanding of time. He's obviously able to observe his current situation, remember it as a past event, detect a recurring pattern, deduce that it's likely to repeat in the future, decide on an action to be carried out at a future time, and prepare materials required to carry it out. That's no small feat.

      This is obviously a feel good anthropomorphic article(no I didn't RTFA) But it has been shown chimps are naturally paranoid as a survival trait. This could just be an extension of that.

      --
      "The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget." -Thomas Szasz
    228. Re:Translation by lgw · · Score: 1

      Sorry, no internet citation handy for this one, as my background here is a semester studying "theory of logic and provability" back before there was a WWW (onion on by belt, etc). Basically, the the presentation you've seen is the "agreed non-technical explanation for those not in the field".

      Goedel proved that for any system of logic you cannot have both consistency and completeness.

      That's really the best way to explain it simply. I can't come up with anything better. However "proved" is a bit strong. Just in general, it's hard to "prove" things in the field of meta-logic - when you're arguing about what constitutes "proof", how do you prove anything? It's a bit of a conundrum.

      Basically that means that your system is either going to have true statements that it is unable to prove to be so or that some statements can be proven to be both true and false.

      This is really an oversimplification. There are many skeptics (myself included), who would respond "sort of". Consider the Spanish Barber paradox (there is a village in Spain in which there is a barber who shaves every man who does not shave himself - who shaves the barber?). Goedel shows that there are statements like this in "rich" formal systems (which leave no room for "the barber is a women" or other weaseling) that you can derive from the axioms ("prove true", informally), and that some of these statements are troubling: encode a proof in the formal language that makes a statement about itself. If you can formally derive "Everything Harvey Mudd says is a lie" "I'm lying", then the androids head explodes.

      There has been lots of intensely technical debate about this. Can you "prove" Goedel's threorum without some sort of "illicit self reference" (as the critics call it)? How much does it actually matter to the usefulness of a formal system? (Goedel theorum is equivlent to the halting problem).

      There was exploration of the idea that there are really three truth values: "true", "false", and "nonsense". This turns out to be not so helpful in formal systems as was hoped, but it is IMO a better oversimplification of what Goedel's theorum means. "Have you stopped beating your wife?" ("mu" responds the Discordian) is the classic example of a statement that's "nonsense". Likewise the Spanish Barber. In short, "rich" formal system of logic, like math, can express things that don't make sense - they model a universe larger than the physical, sometimes failing to match intuitions about "true" and "false".

      --
      Socialism: a lie told by totalitarians and believed by fools.
    229. Re:Translation by tabrnaker · · Score: 1
      um, how about we all do calculus 'instinctively' in our visual centers.

      It just took us that long to understand what it is we do.

      Then even longer for us to understand every animal does it.

    230. Re:Translation by tabrnaker · · Score: 1
      I remember trying to familiarize my pregnant cat with a birthing box i built. She wouldn't go near it and just stared at me like an idiot, as if to say "Do i look like i'm in labour now?"

      I gave up after a while, almost resigned to the possibility of birthing goo somewhere inside my closet.

      Days later, when she did go into labour i was napping. She poked me a bit to wake me up, and then walked over to the box and proceeded to have her kittens.

      It was pretty cool, she let me touch her belly and feel the kittens coming out.

      They aren't human, but they aren't simple machines like science has thought for thousands of years. Sure, they can't cut them up and find reasoning and logic in their brains, but then again, you don't really find that in humans either :) Most people operate from conditioned responses, it's what makes them so easy to manipulate. It's the one thing psychopaths learn well, most people are just sheep. Those who actually think and evaluate situations are very rare.

    231. Re:Translation by Uzuri · · Score: 1

      Nah, both of mine do the same thing. Only they settle in before the door is closed and start hissing because they know we're taking them in.

      --
      I'm a she-slashdotter... but I make up for it by living with my folks.
    232. Re:Translation by tabrnaker · · Score: 1

      So, how does Vole taste?

    233. Re:Translation by Uzuri · · Score: 1

      Mine does. She takes her bone and bowl to her cage, and if I still don't feed her, she starts hurling them at my ankles. It hurts. A lot. She's the only dog I've ever seen that can turn a bowl into a Frisbee.

      --
      I'm a she-slashdotter... but I make up for it by living with my folks.
    234. Re:Translation by TapeCutter · · Score: 1

      Thanks for the translation.

      "Do the hard-core keepers get offended because calling one an "Orang" implies it is human?"

      Dunno, the only "hard-core keepers" I've met are of the bondage variety. A "wierd tribe" indeed...

      --
      And did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage? - Pink Floyd.
    235. Re:Translation by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      http://simulatedcomicproduct.com/2006/01/12/useful-robot/

  2. Jane Goodal by IAR80 · · Score: 3, Funny

    Bring me that Jane Goodall chick!

    --
    http://ebgp.net/ccc/
    1. Re:Jane Goodal by UnknowingFool · · Score: 2, Interesting

      The we'd see more of this behavior.

      --
      Well, there's spam egg sausage and spam, that's not got much spam in it.
  3. And I for one... by Coraon · · Score: 3, Funny

    welcome our well perpaired monkey overloards...

    --
    -Ours is the wisdom of Solomon, the magic of Merlyn, the fall of Icaris.
    1. Re:And I for one... by maxume · · Score: 1

      Wait, which way do you think the bars on his cage work?

      --
      Nerd rage is the funniest rage.
    2. Re:And I for one... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      our well perpaired monkey overloards...

      nice try astroturfing, chimp :)

    3. Re:And I for one... by apostrophesemicolon · · Score: 1

      hotdang! I had to scroll more than halfway down to find this "i for one" post..

      slashdot is on the decline I tell ya..

    4. Re:And I for one... by DiEx-15 · · Score: 1

      Thank [Insert Deity here or leave blank if you are an Atheist] that I have a stockpile of bananas in case of this event!

  4. Primate Dilemma by Sponge+Bath · · Score: 5, Funny

    Rocks or feces...hmmmm.
    Maybe I'll just stick with chairs.

    1. Re:Primate Dilemma by Locke2005 · · Score: 0, Redundant

      Maybe I'll just stick with chairs.

      Ballmer?!? Is that you?

      --
      I've abandoned my search for truth; now I'm just looking for some useful delusions.
    2. Re:Primate Dilemma by snowraver1 · · Score: 4, Funny

      From TFA: "For a while, zoo keepers tried locking Santino up in the morning so he couldn't collect ammunition for his assaults, but he remained aggressive. They ultimately decided to castrate him in the autumn last year[...]"

      I would throw feces. Look what throwing rocks gets you...

      --
      Copyright 2010. All rights reserved. This comment may not be copied in any way including, but not limited to caching.
    3. Re:Primate Dilemma by macdaddy357 · · Score: 1

      A younger chimp would have hit what he was throwing rocks at.

      --
      How ya like dat?
    4. Re:Primate Dilemma by maxume · · Score: 5, Funny

      You get 1 point for getting the joke.

      You forfeit all points for a period of 1 year for thinking that it is funny to say so.

      --
      Nerd rage is the funniest rage.
    5. Re:Primate Dilemma by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      He's been doing this for years. Its just his stock pile of poop was removed and he needed new ammo!

    6. Re:Primate Dilemma by Nux'd · · Score: 1

      Kindly stay away from my furniture till you can tell the difference.

      Come to think of it, stay away from my rock collection and excrement too.

    7. Re:Primate Dilemma by smoker2 · · Score: 1

      The first real definitive sign of intelligence arises in another species, and the first thing the humans do is make sure he can never breed. Nice.

    8. Re:Primate Dilemma by ndege · · Score: 1

      Is that you Steve?

      --
      Sig Return: 204 No Content
    9. Re:Primate Dilemma by FatLittleMonkey · · Score: 1

      From TFA: "... They ultimately decided to castrate him in the autumn last year[...]"

      I would throw feces. Look what throwing rocks gets you...

      Given his ability to recognise patterns, they only needed to cut one off...

      --
      Science is all about firing a drunk pig out of a cannon just to see what happens.
  5. Damn dirty , uh, chimps by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Next thing you know they'll be taking down the Statue of Liberty..

    Har har..

    Anyhoo, just wanted to mention my favorite charity:

    http://www.janegoodall.org/chimp_guardian/default.asp

    The fact that chimpanzees are so close to us is a strong argument for us to defend them.

    1. Re:Damn dirty , uh, chimps by Locke2005 · · Score: 2, Funny

      The fact that chimpanzees are so close to us is a strong argument for us to defend them.

      No the fact that chimps are so close to us is a strong argument to wipe the little bastards out quick before they figure out a way to take us out! Every day we find out Chimpanzees are more and more like us... I don't know about you, but that scares the hell out of me!

      --
      I've abandoned my search for truth; now I'm just looking for some useful delusions.
    2. Re:Damn dirty , uh, chimps by Kell+Bengal · · Score: 1

      You maniacs - you blew it up!

      --
      Scientists point out problems, engineers fix them
      altslashdot.org: The future of slashdot.
    3. Re:Damn dirty , uh, chimps by kylemonger · · Score: 1

      The fact that chimpanzees are so close to us is a strong argument for us to defend them.

      It's also a strong argument to destroy them utterly as prophylaxis to prevent other HIV-like disease crossovers into our population.

    4. Re:Damn dirty , uh, chimps by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      Defend them? Or destroy them?

  6. Intelligence in animals by thegnu · · Score: 3, Funny

    I'm always surprised when science finds out about something I already knew. Now, I know I probably know things that actually aren't true, but sometimes it's downright shocking that people didn't know something. :/

    --
    Please stop stalking me, bro.
    1. Re:Intelligence in animals by khellendros1984 · · Score: 1

      Agent Kay: "Fifteen hundred years ago everybody knew the Earth was the center of the universe. Five hundred years ago, everybody knew the Earth was flat, and fifteen minutes ago, you knew that humans were alone on this planet. Imagine what you'll know tomorrow."

      --
      It is pitch black. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.
    2. Re:Intelligence in animals by Quintilian · · Score: 1

      This proves how stupid chimps really are: if they'd just put some pants on, people wouldn't point and laugh so much!

    3. Re:Intelligence in animals by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Well, that's the thing: when did you ever bother to figure out which things you "know" are true, and publish that knowledge? Don't give people crap for doing something you're too lazy to.

    4. Re:Intelligence in animals by thegnu · · Score: 3, Funny

      Because when I publish my knowledge, AC-holes like yourself give me shit. And plus, I'm busy.

      --
      Please stop stalking me, bro.
    5. Re:Intelligence in animals by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      Now, I know I probably know things that actually aren't true

      Actually, that's not true.

    6. Re:Intelligence in animals by Icarus1919 · · Score: 1

      It's a simple epistemological rule that you can't know something that is false.

    7. Re:Intelligence in animals by thegnu · · Score: 1

      I should've said:

      I know I've probably "known" stuff that wasn't true.

      But I trusted you to parse it in such a way that it would remain coherent for you. Sorry.

      --
      Please stop stalking me, bro.
    8. Re:Intelligence in animals by TheMuon · · Score: 1

      A few hours ago you believed educated people 500 years ago believed the Earth was flat. In reality people how known the Earth was round for thousands of years. Columbus was a fucking moron who thought he knew better than the ancient Greeks and miscalculated the size of the Earth thinking he could make it to Asia without running out of supplies. The fact that we celebrate that slave trader/mass murderer is rather disgusting.

  7. And no escape plan? by Mozk · · Score: 1

    And no escape plan? It seems he didn't plan ahead far enough.

    --
    No existe.
    1. Re:And no escape plan? by Locke2005 · · Score: 1

      Exactly. If it were me, I'd be caching weapons to use against the zoo keepers, in hopes of making my escape the next time they opened the door! Or have I been watching too many old Star Trek episodes?

      --
      I've abandoned my search for truth; now I'm just looking for some useful delusions.
  8. Old news by djupedal · · Score: 1

    > "...researchers observe Chimp drinking water in preparation to spit on humans lurking just outside cage."

    C'mon - anyone visiting a zoo has had opportunity to observe such behavior...how is a monkey's ammo bunker such a surprise.

    1. Re:Old news by betterunixthanunix · · Score: 1

      The level of preparation was what is novel. The chimpanzee carefully collected the rocks, including breaking larger rocks down into smaller ones, during the preparation phase of this attack. He not only developed a plan, but the plan involved tools that had to be created before actually executing the plan. The animal was not placed in a situation meant to deliberately encourage the use of tools, either (as he would have been had it been a well planned experiment).

      --
      Palm trees and 8
    2. Re:Old news by BoothbyTCD · · Score: 1

      Because he started collecting rocks 5 days before the zoo opened.

      --
      snig
  9. A Clear Causation by Frigga's+Ring · · Score: 2, Funny

    Although I have no basis for this observation, this new, violent behavior is clearly a result of exposure to violent video games. I'm proposing a measure to restrict the same of video games to primates. Won't someone please think about our zoo-faring children?

    1. Re:A Clear Causation by CaptainPatent · · Score: 2, Funny

      Although I have no basis for this observation, this new, violent behavior is clearly a result of exposure to violent video games.

      I blame "Gorillas Gone Wild"

      --
      Well, back to rejecting software patent applications.
    2. Re:A Clear Causation by oodaloop · · Score: 4, Funny

      Just tax the rocks. Problem solved.

      --
      Tic-Tac-Toe, Global Thermonuclear War, and relationships all have the same winning move.
    3. Re:A Clear Causation by ZFox · · Score: 1

      Better yet, just make a twenty day waiting period before the chimps can have their rocks.

  10. Point and laugh. by Ostracus · · Score: 5, Funny

    "For a while, zoo keepers tried locking Santino up in the morning so he couldn't collect ammunition for his assaults, but he remained aggressive. They ultimately decided to castrate him in the autumn last year, but will have to wait until the summer to see if that helps."

    Guns don't kill people...uh oh!

    "It is normal behavior for alpha males to want to influence their surroundings ... It is extremely frustrating for him that there are people out of his reach who are pointing at him and laughing," Osvath said. "It cannot be good to be so furious all the time."

    Now we know why review sites get sued.

    --
    Shai Schticks:"You don't make peace with friends, you make peace with enemies"
    1. Re:Point and laugh. by Locke2005 · · Score: 1

      "It is extremely frustrating for him that there are people out of his reach who are pointing at him and laughing," Osvath said. "It cannot be good to be so furious all the time."
      Why is it that I know exactly how he feels?

      --
      I've abandoned my search for truth; now I'm just looking for some useful delusions.
    2. Re:Point and laugh. by I)_MaLaClYpSe_(I · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Okaaay, first I laughted at the post: WTF, an ape alpha male is upset when he can not control every bit of his sourrundings! ... Do I really need to say it?

  11. not so different from us by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Insightful

    In the bigger picture of things, chimps aren't so very different from us. Roll our technology back 50,000 years, and hairstyles become the most immediately obvious difference.

  12. Bah! by TastyCakes · · Score: 1

    People always say "Chimp crime these days, it's out of control". But they do this with no historical perspective. When chimp crime peaked in the mid 1970s, chimps would hurl feces, not rocks, and we'd think ourselves lucky if it hadn't been eating apricots the meal earlier. I blame the internet and sensationalist media for making everyone think the problem is getting worse, when really it's getting better.

  13. Translation:Cycles. by Ostracus · · Score: 1

    "In this case, the chimp remembered that people were outside of his cage on other days, and realized that that would probably be true again. He prepared for that prediction. Animals just don't tend to plan ahead, and it's exciting that this one did."

    You mean like when elephants come back to the same grazing area year after year?

    --
    Shai Schticks:"You don't make peace with friends, you make peace with enemies"
    1. Re:Translation:Cycles. by NeutronCowboy · · Score: 5, Interesting

      No. Elephants don't bring sticks and rocks to scare away lions they regularly meet at yearly watering holes.

      This involved:
      - detection of arbitrary cycles
      - planning for how to deal with them
      - relatively elaborate creation of tools to support plan

      Pretty exciting stuff indeed.

      --
      Those who can, do. Those who can't, sue.
    2. Re:Translation:Cycles. by sakdoctor · · Score: 5, Funny

      Pretty impress CV; I'd hire him.

    3. Re:Translation:Cycles. by publiclurker · · Score: 5, Funny

      You get to hire your own management? I'm impressed.

    4. Re:Translation:Cycles. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Exaggeration aside, you have some pretty damn smart lint in your pocket.

    5. Re:Translation:Cycles. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

      Disclaimer: I felt like being an off-topic tool on a political soapbox, and felt the need to qualify my dick-headed statement in order to appease the level-headed /.'ers with mod points who will, no doubt, still do the right thing and mod me into oblivion.

      Fixed that for ya, Herr Douchewolfen

    6. Re:Translation:Cycles. by flyingsquid · · Score: 5, Funny

      Arguably, he demonstrated more foresight and planning than the primates running the investment banks on Wall Street.

    7. Re:Translation:Cycles. by mattack2 · · Score: 1

      Isn't storing nuts for the winter or eating a lot of food prior to hibernation "plan[ning] ahead"? I guess the counter-argument is that it's just instinct.

    8. Re:Translation:Cycles. by uniquename72 · · Score: 1

      you got your left-wing Marxist stick up your ass in a twist

      As a conservative, I'd also rate your original post an off-topic troll.

      I am a douche...

      Agreed.

    9. Re:Translation:Cycles. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I...don't have...balls...like most of the loony left. You think it gives you the right to be an asshole.

      Yep, pretty much.

      I am a douche...after all.

      You see! Despite our vastly different political leanings, at least we can agree on something!

    10. Re:Translation:Cycles. by tftp · · Score: 3, Insightful

      It must be an instinct because an animal has to do these things before its first winter. A squirrel without its food supply (or fat, if it hibernates) will simply die.

    11. Re:Translation:Cycles. by uniquename72 · · Score: 3, Informative

      Memo to Daswolfen:
      This post is funny while your is a troll. You're probably wondering why, so I thought I'd explain.

      You see, the article was about the foresight and planning of a chimp. Therefore, when flyingsquid made reference to foresight and planning in his post and related these traits to Wall Street bankers, it was amusing.

      Had he simply said, "Better qualified than a Wall Street banker", then appended a long diatribe explaining why he's not a racist, it would not have been funny.

      As you may have already inferred (but probably haven't) the humor comes from creating relationships in the reader's mind between a chimp and a banker, first by stating several qualities displayed by the chimp, then by relating that to bankers.

      If you had said instead, "Arguably, he demonstrated more foresight and planning than the primate who wrote the Federal budget," that may have been read as racist, and you may have still been flamed, but at least you would have displayed some humor (as well as an ability to connect both the president, a chimp, and the recent dust-up over that cartoon). We might then have appreciated your post as more than, well, you simply being a douche.

      I hope this helps make your future contributions to slashdot more productive and enjoyable.

    12. Re:Translation:Cycles. by dtml-try+MyNick · · Score: 5, Interesting

      Arguably, he demonstrated more foresight and planning than the primates running the investment banks on Wall Street.

      This is that far from the truth as you might think ;)
      A while ago a Dutch TV show did a experiment on this very subject.

      They had let a group of apes handpick a bunch of stocks and let a group of notable bankers do the same.

      After 1 month the apes had yielded a higher net profit then the bankers did.....

      Of course this was for shits and giggles but very funny nontheless.

      --
      Life starts at the end of your comfort zone.
    13. Re:Translation:Cycles. by fishbowl · · Score: 5, Interesting

      >This involved:
      >- detection of arbitrary cycles
      >- planning for how to deal with them
      >- relatively elaborate creation of tools to support plan

      I would even speculate that there is an element of "avoiding being caught executing the plan."
      Does that imply a guilty conscience to some degree, or only fear of his handlers?

      --
      -fb Everything not expressly forbidden is now mandatory.
    14. Re:Translation:Cycles. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Informative

      Bro, learn to check the "Post Anonymously" button when you're going to troll, unless you love the negative karma.

    15. Re:Translation:Cycles. by c6gunner · · Score: 2, Insightful

      To be fair, after years of juvenile Bush-bashing by the democrats around here, it's kind of nice to see republicans returning the favour :)

      During the Bush presidency there were WAY too many comments just like his which got modded "funny" or "insightful". Maybe seeing it from the other side will help people realize that such idiotic partisan drivel should be modded "troll", regardless of which party it's aimed at.

    16. Re:Translation:Cycles. by StarkRG · · Score: 4, Funny

      Woah, woah, woah. You're saying that lending enormous amounts of money with extremely high interest rates to people who can't possibly afford to pay it back is a bad idea? Since when? Next you're going to tell me that trickle-down economics doesn't work and that two plus two doesn't equal five (even for very large values of two)! You obviously aren't an economics major.

    17. Re:Translation:Cycles. by ravenshrike · · Score: 2, Interesting

      Bankers or stockbrokers? Because they're very different. You'd expect bankers to look for a relatively conservative growth model, which means there's a perfectly good chance that over the short term the chimps picks would outperform the bankers. Over the long term this wouldn't tend to be true.

    18. Re:Translation:Cycles. by Ashriel · · Score: 2, Informative

      Pretty exciting stuff indeed.

      Maybe if it had been a bear. Monkeys in general show very strong signs of human-level intelligence. They're pretty much on par with our children.

      For those of you reading this who are interested in watching a short video showing just how smart monkeys are, check out this TED piece on Bonobos.

    19. Re:Translation:Cycles. by Ashriel · · Score: 1

      What exactly makes you think they don't learn from their parents? Squirrels don't exactly grow up in a vacuum.

      Many animals are capable of intelligent reasoning. They may not spend their time pondering Sartre, but they're quite capable of learning from experience, instruction, and example. Many species have shown the ability to make logical inferences.

      When dealing with other animals, never attribute to instinct what can be better explained by intelligence. When dealing with humans, the reverse applies.

    20. Re:Translation:Cycles. by Idiomatick · · Score: 1

      How about.... http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2008/04_05/apeMS2604_800x575.jpg I think it was just mimicry not understanding the purpose of what he was doing but still a cool shot.

      I also read a journal once about I believe an orangutan that was involved in a study. It had a serious soap eating addiction. One day it escaped from the lab and stole a canoe type boat, used its hands to paddle and made it across the stream where some native people washed clothes every day and stole some soap. I don't know how much forethought or planning this shows. But it clearly demonstrates intelligence and persistence ability to use very complex tools and so on.

    21. Re:Translation:Cycles. by Idiomatick · · Score: 1

      Hah, found the orangutan. It gets even better apparently shes even stolen keys to use to get food.

      http://anaturalistinborneo.blogspot.com/2008/09/princess-and-pee.html
      http://anaturalistinborneo.blogspot.com/2008/09/princess-and-pee.html

    22. Re:Translation:Cycles. by SupremoMan · · Score: 1

      Are you equating stock brokers to chimps? :P

    23. Re:Translation:Cycles. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Bush was bashed because he did nothing positive for years and years, just like every president who fails like that is bashed. You're just a sore loser right now.

    24. Re:Translation:Cycles. by tftp · · Score: 4, Insightful

      What exactly makes you think they don't learn from their parents? Squirrels don't exactly grow up in a vacuum.

      I have plenty of ground squirrels around, and they are fairly independent animals; they run alone, maintain their personal space, and when they meet it's usually to fight. They do maintain a collective behavior (when a hawk shows up, for example.) However nobody can learn from experience that one hasn't experienced before; and squirrels are not very good in "instruction", whatever you mean by that :-) - it would require fairly elaborate communication between generations, and already in April or May young squirrels live on their own, dig their burrows and such.

      Again, the issue here is that an animal has one and only one chance to make a correct "life vs. death" decision when winter comes, and that decision (gathering food and fattening up) has to be made well ahead of cold time. To make matters worse, this decision is counter-intuitive, since the young squirrel never saw a winter and never participated in preparations. A lone human could figure out the need by reading books; a child could be told to do that by adults; but a small rodent does not have access to such complex communication mechanisms, and by nature is not a herd animal to blindly follow a leader. Other animals, like deer or sheep, are far better in introducing their young to the world.

    25. Re:Translation:Cycles. by gorbachev · · Score: 1

      I disagree. The primates running the investment banks on Wall Street knew exactly what they wanted. They just didn't care other people got hurt while they got rich.

      Sociopathic behavior, afaik, is something animals are yet to exhibit. Hurray! We're still at the top of the food pyramid!

      --
      In Soviet Russia, I ruled you
    26. Re:Translation:Cycles. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Wow, bankers vs apes and you have to write a paragraph to defend the bankers/stock holders, etc. Step back and think about that for a second.

    27. Re:Translation:Cycles. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      And yet we're in this mess precisely because the bankers threw conservative thinking out the window, taking on many times more risk than could possibly be considered prudent. Expect bankers to look for a conservative growth model? Oh, if only!

    28. Re:Translation:Cycles. by Plutonite · · Score: 1

      It's not just about a 'knowledge of cycles' that has been embedded in DNA. He clearly learned about this, i.e., was able to make something along the lines of a conscious decision. Which is fascinating. He thought strategically.

      Of course, other animals exhibit baffling behavior as well, like the birds that walk along the ground after an elephant because the elephant's steps cause insects to come of the ground, ready to be eaten. Did they learn that or was it evolved? If they learned it, did they teach it to each other? And how the hell can you evolve something as specific as that? Or was it non-specific and they would do the same if we replace the elephant with a bulldozer?

    29. Re:Translation:Cycles. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

      I was pointing out that the current president is doing a piss-poor job at leading the country.

      I know, right? I mean, Jesus H. Crackers, it's been almost two months already! Why the hell isn't everything fixed???

    30. Re:Translation:Cycles. by hajus · · Score: 1

      I don't know about elephants, but I know cats have to be taught to hunt mice by other cats that do so or else they're not effective at it. Learning isn't the same as planning ahead though, and planning requires being able to model reality in your head. I remember reading somewhere that primates so far are the only animals we know of that can execute plans because they can put a model of the real world in their head.

    31. Re:Translation:Cycles. by Nazlfrag · · Score: 1

      The real question is: Chimpanzees or gorillas? Because we know that chimpanzees have long term planning abilities whereas gorillas just tend to brute force their way along. There's a perfectly good chance that over the short term the gorilla will outperform the chimpanzee but over the longer term this wouldn't tend to be true.

    32. Re:Translation:Cycles. by Nazlfrag · · Score: 1

      Secrecy needn't be out of guilt or fear, it's just common sense. Very common apparently.

    33. Re:Translation:Cycles. by anoopdotk · · Score: 1

      It must be an instinct because an animal has to do these things before its first winter. A squirrel without its food supply (or fat, if it hibernates) will simply die.

      Nowadays apes do watch T.V/computers and go crazy. Huge pet chimpanzee shot dead after mauling woman http://www.pantagraph.com/articles/2009/02/17/news/doc499a33764b43a165075661.txt

    34. Re:Translation:Cycles. by cyphercell · · Score: 1

      my kingdom for mod-points. by length of term Bush was still just another president at this point the game http://www.pollingreport.com/BushJob1.htm curiously his approval ratings turned south just *before* he was elected the second time. Daswolfen is a punk, that misses his punk president.

      --
      Under the influence of Post-Cyberpunk Gonzo Journalism
    35. Re:Translation:Cycles. by TapeCutter · · Score: 1

      "...avoiding being caught executing the plan. Does that imply a guilty conscience to some degree, or only fear of his handlers?"

      While not taking anything away from the chimp, my dog won't burry a bone if anyone is watching. Also it's "guilty" behaviour gives away the fact it was sleeping on the couch when it heard me pull into the driveway.

      --
      And did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage? - Pink Floyd.
    36. Re:Translation:Cycles. by cyphercell · · Score: 1

      who the fuck are you to judge our politics?

      ah fuck it, you probably don't get the irony...

      --
      Under the influence of Post-Cyberpunk Gonzo Journalism
    37. Re:Translation:Cycles. by grasshoppa · · Score: 1
      Does that imply a guilty conscience to some degree, or only fear of his handlers?

      More pattern recognition, I'd guess. Guilt is a human concept who's origins, you guessed it, lay in religion. As I have yet to see a chimp confessing, I'd say it's the chimp understanding that this action may not be best appreciated by his/her handlers, and thus attempting to hide it's actions. You know, nevermind, that's almost exactly like religion.

      --
      Mod me down with all of your hatred and your journey towards the dark side will be complete!
    38. Re:Translation:Cycles. by indifferenthues · · Score: 2, Funny

      two plus two doesn't equal five (even for very large values of two)!

      perhaps it equals a very small value of five?

    39. Re:Translation:Cycles. by turing_m · · Score: 2, Funny

      Bankers or stockbrokers? Because they're very different. You'd expect bankers to look for a relatively conservative growth model

      Bankers of which era? Recent bankers haven't been very conservative.

      --
      If I have seen further it is by stealing the Intellectual Property of giants.
    40. Re:Translation:Cycles. by qc_dk · · Score: 1

      Sociopathic behavior, afaik, is something animals are yet to exhibit. Hurray! We're still at the top of the food pyramid!

      Sociopathic behaviour is the standard behaviour for animals. For example almost all species practice infanticide. Among humans it's not normal for a new parent to kill the stepchildren.

      Basically the major difference between human intelligence and animals is that we have the ability to put ourselves in someone else's shoes.
      This also means that we are a lot better at trickery and at being devious.

    41. Re:Translation:Cycles. by Peter+Mork · · Score: 1

      I recommend checking out Jared Diamond's book, The Third Chimpanzee. IIRC, he include examples of sociopathic chimpanzees.

    42. Re:Translation:Cycles. by SlowMovingTarget · · Score: 1

      This monkey knew when to ignore Gaussian copula functions.

    43. Re:Translation:Cycles. by scharkalvin · · Score: 1

      The next day they gathered a huge number of apes and set them down in front of typewriters. One year latter they compiled all of the type written sheets and had the complete works of Shakespeare.

    44. Re:Translation:Cycles. by Brandybuck · · Score: 1

      You obviously aren't an economics major.

      You're implying economists are stupid. They are not. They have learned the fine art of political sycophancy. You won't see any mathematicians claiming 2+2=5 in exchange for a government sinecure, but your average economist will gladly endorse whatever harebrained schemes politicians will propose.

      --
      Don't blame me, I didn't vote for either of them!
    45. Re:Translation:Cycles. by StarkRG · · Score: 1

      No, I'm implying that everyone involved with those bad loans is stupid. The people who thought it would be a good idea to reward brokers based on the dollar amount of the loan, the brokers who tried to push larger mortgages than the customers were asking for, the people who took the loans they couldn't afford and the polititians who made it all possible.

      I'm also implying that people who think trickle-down economics works are stupid. Anyone who's seen things fail as often as trickle-down policies have and yet still believe in it is an idiot. Here's an idea let's give a few billion dollars to a bunch of corporate banks, provide no incentives or oversight and see what happens. Yo republitards: wake up and smell the obvious.

    46. Re:Translation:Cycles. by atomic777 · · Score: 1

      That was a low blow indeed. Watch out for flying rocks next time you visit the zoo...

    47. Re:Translation:Cycles. by Brandybuck · · Score: 1

      Yo republitards: wake up and smell the obvious.

      I hate to break the news to you, but the "republitards" are out of office, and the democraps are doing the same thing but twice as hard. Giving trillions of dollars to the politically connected is wrong no matter who does it.

      --
      Don't blame me, I didn't vote for either of them!
    48. Re:Translation:Cycles. by StarkRG · · Score: 1

      Ok, first off, republicans are still in office, my governor is one. A good portion of congress is still republican.

      Secondly, what thing are you referring to that Democrats are doing? I was talking about trickle-down economics which is the idea that giving money and tax breaks to the wealthy and businesses that somehow that money magically makes it into the pockets of the rest of us. Neat theory, however it's been tried several times, all unsuccessfully.

      Now I haven't seen any trickle-down economic plans from either the white house or congress, though I guess I can see how the stimulus package might be mistaken for it. The idea behind the stimulus is to artificially create jobs (something that isn't needed when the economy is healthy). While this is not a good long-term plan, this is the correct approach to an economic downturn. Governments should go into debt when the economy is bad and should pay off the debt when the economy is good.

      In addition I wasn't talking about all republicans as there are some that actually have logical reasons behind their beliefs (I haven't met many, but they exist). I was talking about the GOP's main economic policy, trickle-down economics, and how it seems to be the only kind of economics republican politicians (the republitards in question) understand.

  14. Chimps are mean little effers by Shivetya · · Score: 4, Informative

    A good friend who past away a few years ago introduced me to some long time friends of his who own many chimps. One thing I was told flat out was, don't get near the cages. They are very good at trying to tempt people closer and never for any good. They will fondle themselves in front of you, throw stuff at you, and even be very violent should it be their wish. The problem is they are very very good at hiding the signs when it serves them. All of their chimps had their incisors (fang teeth) removed. For while they are very cute when young they would shame any unruly teenager when they are of age.

    While I got a handshake and even a hug from one of the better behaved I was told that in no uncertain terms he was putting on a show to please them. Alone it would be a whole different story.

    --
    * Winners compare their achievements to their goals, losers compare theirs to that of others.
    1. Re:Chimps are mean little effers by Hatta · · Score: 5, Interesting

      They will fondle themselves in front of you, throw stuff at you, and even be very violent should it be their wish

      I'll just leave this here.

      --
      Give me Classic Slashdot or give me death!
    2. Re:Chimps are mean little effers by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Just an FYI, the fang teeth are the "canine's". Incisors are the flat teeth at the very front.

  15. Found guilty by Dunbal · · Score: 1

    the 31-year-old alpha male

          Not anymore - according to TFA he was castrated last year...

    --
    Seven puppies were harmed during the making of this post.
    1. Re:Found guilty by laejoh · · Score: 1

      Last year? The 32-year-old-alpha male, I see!

  16. MI by Tgeigs · · Score: 2, Funny

    "That's the second biggest monkey I've ever seen" I would have been more impressed if he declared "my name is Mr. Fossey" and challenged the visitors to insult sword fighting...

  17. Somebody with good aim by Jane+Q.+Public · · Score: 1, Insightful

    should throw some rocks back, and teach the little bastard a lesson.

    1. Re:Somebody with good aim by crazybit · · Score: 1

      why hurt them? he is obviously mad because he is imprisoned, because humans don't leave them alone. Just give them their liberty back and problem solved.

      Wanna see wild life? go visit them, not imprison them. Hasn't history and evolution taught us that depriving a living being from its liberty does nothing more that turning that being against the one imprisoning it?

      --
      - Human knowledge belongs to the world
    2. Re:Somebody with good aim by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      should throw some rocks back, and teach the little bastard a lesson.

      Actually, if you were to do that, then the chimp has taught YOU the lesson. i.e., throw shit at whatever pisses you off.

      I find it ironic that your reaction is exactly the same as the chimps.

    3. Re:Somebody with good aim by Lumpy · · Score: 1

      They are WILD ANIMALS. They are not some cut misunderstood creature they are mean, they are incredibly vicious, The things are like having a Caged tiger that can throw stuff.

      They can rip your face off and pop your eyes out without effort and before you knew it happened.

      I agree with you, they dont need to be imprisoned, they need to be left alone out in the wild because they are very dangerous animals.

      --
      Do not look at laser with remaining good eye.
  18. Hate to say it, but... by Reality+Master+101 · · Score: 0

    Correlation is not causation. It's entirely possible he was making a pile of rocks to amuse himself, and then later on, he was pissed off looking at the people, saw his rock collection, and took the opportunity.

    That's far more likely than some entirely new behavior that's NEVER been observed in the hundreds of years of observing various simians.

    --
    Sometimes it's best to just let stupid people be stupid.
    1. Re:Hate to say it, but... by pdabbadabba · · Score: 1

      I see your point, but how is this an example of confusing correlation with causation?

    2. Re:Hate to say it, but... by Reality+Master+101 · · Score: 1

      Honestly, I was about to post something like this myself about my own post. :) I don't know why I said correlation. I think I'm feeling jet lagged from the changeover to DST.

      Coincidence is not causation might be a better way to put it.

      --
      Sometimes it's best to just let stupid people be stupid.
    3. Re:Hate to say it, but... by pdabbadabba · · Score: 1

      LOL. Understandable; and besides, let's face it, "correlation is not causation" is usually a safe default response around here. :)

    4. Re:Hate to say it, but... by CorSci81 · · Score: 1

      Given the full article implies the chimp exhibited this behavior regularly, I would say it's a simpler assumption that he gathered the rocks with the intention of throwing them. Also, it was a relatively recent discovery than many primate (and a few other animal species) use tools in the wild. I suspect there are very large gaps in the observational records of primates such that a blanket assertion that this behavior has never been observered would be untenable.

    5. Re:Hate to say it, but... by Reality+Master+101 · · Score: 1

      Given the full article implies the chimp exhibited this behavior regularly, I would say it's a simpler assumption that he gathered the rocks with the intention of throwing them.

      It's not simpler at all. The chimp may just have two behaviors that happen to overlap: 1) gathering rocks for fun, and 2) throwing rocks at people. Where is the evidence that the two behaviors are linked?

      --
      Sometimes it's best to just let stupid people be stupid.
    6. Re:Hate to say it, but... by pluther · · Score: 1

      One bit of evidence is that he didn't do it in the off-season. Only on days when there were likely to be a lot of people.

      --
      If the masses can keep you down, you're not the Ubermensch.
    7. Re:Hate to say it, but... by Anomalyst · · Score: 1

      Am I the only one that wants to post "castration is not causation"

      --
      There is no right to feel safe thru security vaudeville at the expense of everyone's freedom, privacy and tax money.
    8. Re:Hate to say it, but... by Uzuri · · Score: 1

      And I totally read that as "correlation with castration".

      Which may make sense in the context.

      --
      I'm a she-slashdotter... but I make up for it by living with my folks.
  19. No Wonder by necro81 · · Score: 1

    No wonder he was sullen and attacking people - do you have any idea how cold it is in Sweden this time of year? Particularly for an animal used to living in equatorial Africa!

    1. Re:No Wonder by crazybit · · Score: 1

      Monkeys from Peru's jungle live at about 36-42C an like 90% humidity.

      I have seen them, they have their temper. I just can't imagine how mad and stressed they can be.

      --
      - Human knowledge belongs to the world
  20. Maybe the guy at The Post had this in mind? by aviators99 · · Score: 1

    It's impressive, but can it arrange the rocks into the text of a new stimulous bill?

  21. We better get ready... by detox.method() · · Score: 1

    In only a few million years they might rebel with fire and arrowheads.

    1. Re:We better get ready... by WhatAmIDoingHere · · Score: 1

      How long did it take us to go from throwing rocks to arrows? Not a few million years, that's for sure.

      --
      Not a Twitter sockpuppet... but I wish I was.
    2. Re:We better get ready... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Yeah, but these are monkeys we're talking about here...

  22. Researchers are making a logical leap here... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    If I pile up some stones in my yard, and then later throw them at someone, does that imply that I planned to throw them at someone at the time I made the pile?

    The fact that the chimp did not throw the stones until midday could indicate that there was no plan, and that it did not occur to the chimp to throw the stones until that time.

  23. You know what? by sesshomaru · · Score: 1
    --
    "MIT betrayed all of its basic principles."
    1. Re:You know what? by Renraku · · Score: 1

      You know, a lot of violence in the world brings forth mental images of the chimps/monkeys/primates/etc from the 2001 movie.

      The only difference is we can talk and try to hide our violent tendencies behind things like religion and beliefs.

      --
      Job? I don't have time to get a job! Who will sit around and bitch about being broke and unemployed then?
  24. Nesting by flyingfsck · · Score: 1

    Soooooo, building nests and collecting food isn't 'planning ahead'?

    Anyhoo, baboons frequently stone people and cars and they are way dumber than chimps. Even squirrels are known to toss acorns at passer's by.

    (You are only a real Stellenboscher once a squirrel tossed an acorn at your head!)

    --
    Excuse me, but please get off my Pennisetum Clandestinum, eh!
  25. Ahhh Just another reason by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Yep, just another reason to kill all the monkeys. First species on the list to go, are the common forum lock monkeys.

  26. Maybe time to change my sig by bryan1945 · · Score: 1

    Perhaps the simians are smarter than Congress... at least they plan ahead.....

    --
    Vote monkeys into Congress. They are cheaper and more trustworthy.
  27. Who's Dumber Now? by hduff · · Score: 2, Interesting

    I am far from an animal-rights activist, but my observations have been that humans generally consider non-human life to be really, really dumb. That's really just a way for us to feel superior regardless of any uncomfortable reality.

    Shamefully, we even go so far as to make those distinctions between groups of humans.

    It would seem that we are not so smart as we think and others are smarter than we feel comfortable with.

    Big surprise . . .

    --
    "I believe in Karma. That means I can do bad things to people all day long and I assume they deserve it." : Dogbert
  28. Science is proof in itself... by memorycardfull · · Score: 1

    that primates can plan ahead!

  29. Narrow Vision by Jekler · · Score: 1

    The people studying animal behavior have tunnel vision as a result of their observations. Simple behavior such as building a cache of rocks to throw I probably would have assumed primates were capable of. A lot of people severely underestimate animals. I think in terms of research we become so focused on defining animal behavior in terms of absolutes (either can or can't perform x specific action) that it somehow seems astounding when an animal does something we hadn't specifically documented.

    I just naturally assume that apes not only plan for the future, but I think they probably daydream about things that aren't even possible too. Instead of narrowly defining what we have observed animals doing, we should make rather broad assumptions about their abilities until we're proven wrong.

    1. Re:Narrow Vision by hesaigo999ca · · Score: 1

      I agree, too many people think of animals as simply unintelligent, just because they can't talk, we have no real proof they cant think, or communicate in a form we understand, yet I see all the simplicity of how they communicate between each other, and my GF does not. Sometimes, it is also the individual that must be with open eyes to see what is going on. My dogs talk to each other all day long, and on a good day, I can communicate with them as well, without uttering a single word...all about body language.....however, my GF is blind to this, and keeps thinking they are stupid animals.

      They are more like the intelligent 2 1/2 year old or 3 year old....that's as smart as they will get.
      They can show us some signs of intelligence when they do something surprising, like anticipate what will happen, or remember something having done something just once....but the best is when they figure something out on their own. They would not quite push the box up to the banana hanging on a string (they have no hands per say) but they would figure a way out to cling to the fence and try to climb up to the banana, or maybe even jump from the box (if close enough) to get the banana.

      That is intelligence n its own form. I just tend to think they are all underestimated.

  30. I would say that this is a variant of the Swedish by xpiotr · · Score: 1
  31. Oh. by duckInferno · · Score: 1

    I thought "started building his weapons cache" was a euphemism, only to find out it's just rocks and stone discs. I am simultaneously disappointed and relieved.

    --
    Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, watch it -- I'm huge!
  32. Animal Conspiracy.. by Innova · · Score: 1

    Thank goodness that Tim Bedore already knew about this. Glad he is on our side keeping watch against the coming animal conspiracy!

  33. Re:Geez, he's more prepared than Barack Obama by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    It's almost like you hate having good karma.

  34. Let's get one thing straight... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Chimps are NOT monkeys. They are apes.

    If you get it wrong, the Librarian will be...displeased.

  35. Monkey : I throw poo by RedneckJack · · Score: 0

    Be like monkeys and throw feces ! (fling poo)

  36. What you failed to point out... by Nux'd · · Score: 1

    This was clearly an orchestrated retaliation, months in the planning.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VFX-dKpcDz8

  37. Evolution in action by nurb432 · · Score: 1

    "In your face humans"

    --
    ---- Booth was a patriot ----
  38. Anti-social by chicago_scott · · Score: 1

    "Santino the chimpanzee's anti-social behavior stunned both visitors and keepers at the Furuvik Zoo but fascinated researchers because it was so carefully prepared."

    Which is more anti-social: Keeping a human-like animal locked in a cage or the caged animal throwing rocks at its captors?

  39. RE: Chimp Intelligence, Check this Article out. by telomerewhythere · · Score: 1
    Baby Chimps Given Human Love Ace IQ Tests

    My non-scientific conclusion was human babies need more love.

    I wonder if badness of chimps has to do with lack of proper parental guidance. They learn similar to humans, are they taught 'morals' in the wild? (Or at least, if I get all bad, someone more bad will bust face)

  40. I, for one,... by Nyckname · · Score: 0, Offtopic

    yadda, yadda, yadda.

  41. Escape from the Planet of the Apes by GottliebPins · · Score: 1

    I thought his name was Caesar?

  42. Why don't they treat him decently then? by Ian+Alexander · · Score: 1

    For a while, zoo keepers tried locking Santino up in the morning so he couldn't collect ammunition for his assaults, but he remained aggressive. They ultimately decided to castrate him in the autumn last year, but will have to wait until the summer to see if that helps. The chimpanzees are only kept outdoors between April and October and Santino's special behavior usually occurs in June and July. "It is normal behavior for alpha males to want to influence their surroundings ... It is extremely frustrating for him that there are people out of his reach who are pointing at him and laughing," Osvath said. "It cannot be good to be so furious all the time."

    Isn't it slightly screwy that the first priority of the zoo is not on the chimp's well-being but on his ability to be a docile show animal? If you can't meet his needs you shouldn't have him in the first place.

  43. Squirrels? by Midnight+Thunder · · Score: 1

    Because it's an aspect of chimpanzee intelligence that hadn't previously been observed, apparently. One of the key differences between humans and animals is that humans have a much more advanced ability to predict what will happen in the future and to make preparations to deal with that prediction

    So squirrels and other animals who hide their food are just doing it for fun? Surely the behaviour in these animals is evidence that they are capable of planning for a future time or event.

    Quite honestly, I find it arrogant for us to consider animals unintelligent. They may not have the same degree of 'intelligence', but if their level of intelligence allows them to survive, then they are most certainly doing better than us, IMHO.

    --
    Jumpstart the tartan drive.
  44. castration, yeeeoooww by MrKaos · · Score: 1

    They ultimately decided to castrate him in the autumn last year, but ... "It is normal behavior for alpha males to want to influence their surroundings ...

    now the surroundings are influencing the alpha male, guess he won't be an alpha male for long.

    It is extremely frustrating for him that there are people out of his reach who are pointing at him and laughing,

    now we know what it must have been like for W.

    "It cannot be good to be so furious all the time."

    hmmmm, maybe they could have put signs up instead of cut the monkeys nuts off!!!

    --
    My ism, it's full of beliefs.
  45. Oh and by einhverfr · · Score: 1

    Banyak orang orang disini.

    --

    LedgerSMB: Open source Accounting/ERP
  46. Secret Chimp by narses · · Score: 1

    Indeed, Lance Link would have know how to deal with these arrogant apes.

  47. I think our ex-president needs a new hobby? by ancient_kings · · Score: 1

    Yeah, you know it...

  48. Yep! by jav1231 · · Score: 1

    As Pete Davis has said time and again, "Kids, never trust a monkey!"

  49. What? No poop? by oldr4ver · · Score: 1

    Just be thankful he didn't poo all over his weapons before throwing them. An open wound mixed with chimp feces would surely lead to some new strain of a yet undiscovered virus.

  50. Well... by I)_MaLaClYpSe_(I · · Score: 0, Redundant

    Okaaay, first I laughted at this part: WTF, an ape alpha male is upset when he can not control every bit of his sourrundings! ... Do I realy need to say it?

  51. They think the chimp might be a genious... by Codifex+Maximus · · Score: 1

    so what do they do? They castrate him.

    So very Planet of the Homo Sapiens.

    --
    Codifex Maximus ~ In search of... a shorter sig.
  52. Fishing Birds by zehead · · Score: 1

    Is this any different to birds that use bread to fish for their pray? Just youtube fishing bird and many hits will show birds taking bread to the water, placing that bread in the water and waiting for a fish.

  53. Re:Geez, he's more prepared than Barack Obama by Daswolfen · · Score: 0

    From the faq - Karma doesn't mean anything.

    In real life, my karma is sound, and I sleep well at night. Just because a bunch of people who like to hide behind anonymity think that they are powerful just because the mod a comment down that comes from a different viewpoint than theirs, doesn't mean a damn thing. Its like who can get the most licks on a tootsie roll pop. I have 3 minus ones (and probably another for this one) but way more insightful and interesting mods than a few trolls or off topics, so it it will all balance out in the end.

    Thank you for your concern, though.

    --
    Don't rush me, Sonny. You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles.
  54. Mod parent up by TapeCutter · · Score: 1

    Repeat after me: There is no border between "instinct" and "cogent thought".

    Brilliant, even though the explaination of that quote is somewhat garbled.

    --
    And did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage? - Pink Floyd.
  55. Dead Parrott? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    "A parrot (now dead) that understood cause and effect."

    Well, he's...he's, ah...probably pining for the fjords.

  56. So erm... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    ... the article read they castrated him as a result. Guess intelligent behaviour is not appreciated in that zoo.

  57. Previous examples from - baboons by G3ckoG33k · · Score: 3, Informative

    This is not news. Baboons do this too.

    From: http://answers.google.com/answers/threadview?id=482576

    The Austin Chronicle
    http://www.austinchronicle.com/issues/dispatch/2001-07-27/cols_smartypants.html

    "Stone-throwing baboons in Saudi Arabia waited three days on the side
    of a mountain road to take revenge on a driver who had killed one of
    their group.

    Al-Riyadh reported on Saturday that the primates laid in wait and
    ambushed the driver on the same mountain road in southwest Saudi
    Arabia from Mecca to Taif where the baboon had been run down earlier
    in the week.

    After spotting the car responsible for the death, one of the apes
    screamed out a signal to the rest to attack, provoking the frenzied
    stone throwing. Although the driver was able to escape, the apes broke
    out the windshield of his car.

    At least 350,000 baboons live in the Gulf state."

    LUSENET: STONE-THROWING BABOONS TAKE REVENGE ON DRIVER
    http://www.greenspun.com/bboard/q-and-a-fetch-msg.tcl?msg_id=004CxB

    "In Saudi Arabia, a man learned a lesson in baboon gang warfare.
    Apparently, earlier in the week the man was driving through a
    mountainous road where he ran over a baboon. Thinking nothing of it,
    the driver got back in his car and resumed his life... Finally, the
    grieving baboons implemented their revenge. They lay hiding on the
    side of the exact mountainous road where their beloved pal had been
    killed and waited for the driver. When the car was spotted, one of the
    baboons screamed out a signal and the others began to bombard the car
    with rocks and stones. The driver escaped, sporting newly soiled
    underwear and a broken windshield."

    Tablet Newspaper: Monkey Love
    http://www.tabletnewspaper.com/vol2iss_21/features/monkeylove.htm

    "Stone-throwing baboons waited three days for revenge on the side of a
    mountain road in Saudi Arabia to take revenge on a motorist who had
    killed one of their group. After finally spotting the car responsible
    for the death, one of the apes screamed out a signal for the rest to
    attack, provoking a frenzied bout of stone throwing. The baboons then
    ripped out the windscreen of the car. The driver managed to escape the
    attack, which took place on the same stretch of road, between Mecca
    and Taif, where the baboon had been run down."

    Ananova: Revenge attack by stone-throwing baboons
    http://www-2.cs.cmu.edu/afs/cs/academic/class/16741-s05/www/baboons09122000.pdf

    "Stone-throwing baboons in Saudi Arabia waited three days on the side
    of a mountain road to take revenge on a driver who had killed one of
    their group. Al-Riyadh reported on Saturday that the primates laid in
    wait and ambushed the driver on the same mountain road in southwest
    Saudi Arabia from Mecca to Taif where the baboon had been run down
    earlier in the week. After spotting the car responsible for the death,
    one of the apes screamed out a signal to the rest to attack, provoking
    the frenzied stone throwing. Although the driver was able to escape,
    the apes broke out the windshield of his car. At least 350,000 baboons
    live in the Gulf state. Who says animals have no emotions? If you can
    plot revenge, you must be able to feel anger."

    The Jekyl Archives
    http://www.jekyl.com/jekyl/arc_2000.htm

    "Saudi Arabia is particularly baboon prone these days, with tales of
    baboons raiding farms, houses, and even schools. But probably the
    strangest report was where a troop deliberately wait in ambush.
    According to newspaper accounts,

    1. Re:Previous examples from - baboons by i+am+calliope · · Score: 1

      "This is not news. Baboons do this too ... "Stone-throwing baboons in Saudi Arabia waited three days on the side of a mountain road to take revenge on a driver who had killed one of their group." Yes, but lets not forget that what western scientists can not see, they do not believe. If a UFO landed in the middle of Beijing and killed everyone there, Americans wouldn't believe it until their toys and knick-knacks stopped arriving.

  58. Pavlov by CB-in-Tokyo · · Score: 1

    The same could be said regarding Pavlov's dogs (well it was a breakthrough). The dogs were "conditioned" to salivate when the bell rang. Was it conditioning, or was it predicting a future event based on specific stimulus?

  59. Re:Geez, he's more prepared than Barack Obama by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0
  60. Parent NOT flamebait by I+cant+believe+its+n · · Score: 1

    You may disagree with his views, but there is no insult or even harsh language.

    --
    She made the willows dance
    1. Re:Parent NOT flamebait by somersault · · Score: 1

      His tone is quite aggressive, arrogant, and also I think most would agree quite ignorant. That all adds up to flamebait, because it gets on people's nerves and encourages negative responses.

      As for his views, people realised long ago that monkeys were smarter than your average animal. If he doesn't want to think of our tool using and problem solving skills as something that makes us "superior" animals it is indeed his own right, but there is a clear difference between built-in behaviour and learned behaviour, and any biologist or psychologist with even a passing familiarity of how the brain works could point out that these behaviours do originate from different sections of the brain. Some animals simply don't have the hardware to be able to override their built in behaviours and plan their actions beforehand. Primates have some of the largest (if not the largest, I'm not sure about dolphins) frontal lobes of any mammal with relation to their body size. This article shouldn't be too surprising to anyone who knows that, but it is funny nevertheless :)

      --
      which is totally what she said
    2. Re:Parent NOT flamebait by I+cant+believe+its+n · · Score: 1

      He may be provokative to you, but agressive? Please explain why you feel that way, because I just can't see that and I'm reading the same post.

      Annoying is not the same as flamebait.

      --
      She made the willows dance
    3. Re:Parent NOT flamebait by somersault · · Score: 1

      "Repeat after me" is a command and I interpret it as quite patronising and even aggressive.

      --
      which is totally what she said
  61. Re:Geez, he's more prepared than Barack Obama by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0
  62. I, for one, by The+Tomer · · Score: 1

    welcome our new primate overlords.

  63. Chimps aren't so smart by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    To be really honest, I'm surprised that you're surprised that he's surprised that people who study chimps are surprised by this.

    Now ask yourself this: how many smart ass chimps could get their head round that notion.

    If you think collecting a few rocks to chuck at unsuspecting passers by is a mark of exceptional intelligence then there's no hope for you. So they anticipate events. Big deal. It takes more than that to build a cage and lure a monkey into it.

    We're still the bosses round this neck of the woods.

    1. Re:Chimps aren't so smart by interkin3tic · · Score: 1

      We're still the bosses round this neck of the woods.

      Since no one was saying anything of the sort, I can only conclude that you are yourself a monkey trying to troll and not doing a good job of it.

    2. Re:Chimps aren't so smart by interkin3tic · · Score: 1

      ... Oh great, fucking non-editable replies, I meant no one was saying anything like "Monkeys are just as smart as us." Well, that pretty much ruins MY day.

  64. Tage D by Meneth · · Score: 0, Offtopic

    Leder mig osÃkt till Tage Danielssons saga fÃr barn Ãver 18 Ã¥r, Apan som tÃnkte i flera led .

  65. Lost his balls already by mbierenfeld · · Score: 1

    Shortly afterwards this chimp lost his obstacles because he was too agressive. Sometimes its worth beeing ashamed of homo sapiens sapiens.

  66. Testicles by mbierenfeld · · Score: 1

    ehm testicles. Sorry

  67. Charlton. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    I shall call him "bright eyes" and I will have sex with him. I hope he likes anal, if not his eyes will be even brighter!

  68. What it really means by emaname · · Score: 2

    GET OFF MY LAWN!!!

    ...well. okay, probably it's actually asphalt, but it's his turf.

    --
    An effective "democracy" creates the illusion the people have a say in their government.
  69. Natural Selection by Stratocastr · · Score: 2, Interesting

    Could this mean that evolution is at work here and that chimps are beginning to exhibit behavior that they previously were incapable of?

    --
    Slashdot - I went there to fix their grammar that they're so bad at.
    1. Re:Natural Selection by Asic+Eng · · Score: 1

      No. For evolution to work, the animals having that trait must procreate in higher numbers than those without it. This chimp got his balls cut off - that means in the future chimps who are more docile or less capable of planning have a better chance. Historically, in the same way we haven't bred sheep which successfully evade shearing, pigs which figure out how to escape slaughter or dogs which realize they could kill and eat us.

  70. The reason he did this by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Obviously the chimp was playing the violent GTA hot-coffee version of Zoo Tycoon which caused him to lash out this way.

  71. Scary by marqs · · Score: 1

    Since I live only about 15km from this "einstainian" ape I will make sure to lock my door.

  72. How long until... by fataugie · · Score: 2, Funny

    We get that Shakespeare play from Bobo the chimp?
    Maybe the keepers should leave a typewriter in there with him and see what develops.

    --

    WTF? Over?

  73. Tasty Monkey by bulletmissile · · Score: 2, Funny

    Does this mean we should stop eating those monkey-meat tacos?

  74. isnt this the deffination of terrorism? by ticktickboom · · Score: 1, Funny

    we have found the first primate terrorist. are we gonna keep him in the zoo or put him on trial?

    1. Re:isnt this the deffination of terrorism? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      No, we're gonna send him to Guantanamo!

  75. WTF by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Hey Slashdot, sensationalize much?

    Reality: "Chimp discovered stockpiling rocks to throw at perceived intruders"

    Slashdot MEGA NEWS filter applied: "Chimp Found Plotting Against Zoo Guests"

    See? See the fucking difference? Does Slashdot promote stuff that MATTERS or natural stuff that could be phrased in a sinister way?

  76. So the chimp didn't have by sorak · · Score: 1
  77. MONKEY NEWS! by Safety+Dance · · Score: 1

    oooh Chimpanzee that...MONKEY NEWS!!!!

  78. Just like papa by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    You have to be crazy not to think primates don't resemble humans in the slightest way. Just looking at them makes you think --

    oh wait we're talking about this.

  79. Castrated ??? Re:So erm... by bratwiz · · Score: 1

    Well that's stupid, he used his HANDS to throw the rocks.

    Now he'll have MORE time to throw rocks since he won't be thinking so much about fucking the chimpettes....