A guide to ensure an information overload free 2008:
1) Don't give your manager more information than you have to. "Good morning" should be sufficient for the day. He's got a lot on his plate, and doesn't need to know that you've had no work to do for the past month.
2) Don't tell anyone where you're going when you go for a meeting, or whom it's with. That information could be just one bit too much. In fact, don't force the admin staff to check if there's a room available. Go down the pub for the meeting to stop them from having to schedule anything.
3) 90% of the office emails are going to be a waste of time - however, if you check them to find out, you'll get sucked into dealing with them. Instead, create a rule that randomly deletes all but 1 in 10 of the emails you receive. Statistically, this will be the important one.
4) Timesheets. Surely the classic example of information overload. Just pick a random job code and fill in all your hours with that. You're in (well, provided you aren't following #3 too closely) and that's what counts, right? The beancounters will thank you one day.
I hope this guide gives you all a productive and useful 2008.
For example, source control. Sure, Subversion, CVS etc all have their good points, but only VSS will randomly corrupt various setup scripts, thus giving me a free afternoon reading facebook while the the developers and DBAs try to fix our QA environments. SQL Server. Can MySQL offer the same guaranteed crash every time I haven't saved my foreign key scripts? Can it bollocks. Restore from live, please. Does Firefox have the ability to collect enough spyware that I can derive malicious pleasure from getting an underling to spend the entire morning reproducing a bug that was actually caused by some toolbar he'd inadvertantly installed? No
Fuck open source. Microsoft is the only thing standing between me and actually having to work to earn my paycheck.
You score 5 points every time you reduce a developer to incoherent frustration*, 10 points when you "suddenly notice" a flaw in the requirements causing a project to be re-engineered at the last minute and 20 points when you break a production system and successfully lay the blame on someone else.
*Double if they're on the autistic spectrum and temporarily lose the ability to communicate except in grunts and howls.
He's been taking bong hits from the timecube again.
Evil educators deny foursquare bong hits. You are brainwashed stupid by non harmonious word god. Perhaps, you should stop worshipping Satanic impersonator and match my cubic wisdom. Corporate Nazi incest only occurs with opposites, not foursquare harmonic time cube of perpetual man.
As an Englishman, the one flaw in my inborn sense of cultural superiority has been the lack of Rupert Murdoch owned tabloids in America. Thank you, FCC.
Blatantly off topic, but my karma's fucked anyway - these posts are one of the best adverts possible for Noscript. All that posting goes to waste if the Javascript won't start.
Teleological arguments point to the existence of a Creator
They don't provide any evidence that aforementioned creator sent his son to get nailed to a plank of wood, or that Allah spoke through an epileptic child molester, or that buying Holy Healing Miracle Water off a televangelist will make you anything other than a gullible fuckwit.
And in answer to the article question, Flying Spaghetti Monster.
IANAP (physicist) but would any species capable of crossing interstellar space actually be looking for radio waves? Isn't that like using an SR-71 to look for smoke signals and war drums?
Slashdot Mirror
A guide to ensure an information overload free 2008:
1) Don't give your manager more information than you have to. "Good morning" should be sufficient for the day. He's got a lot on his plate, and doesn't need to know that you've had no work to do for the past month.
2) Don't tell anyone where you're going when you go for a meeting, or whom it's with. That information could be just one bit too much. In fact, don't force the admin staff to check if there's a room available. Go down the pub for the meeting to stop them from having to schedule anything.
3) 90% of the office emails are going to be a waste of time - however, if you check them to find out, you'll get sucked into dealing with them. Instead, create a rule that randomly deletes all but 1 in 10 of the emails you receive. Statistically, this will be the important one.
4) Timesheets. Surely the classic example of information overload. Just pick a random job code and fill in all your hours with that. You're in (well, provided you aren't following #3 too closely) and that's what counts, right? The beancounters will thank you one day.
I hope this guide gives you all a productive and useful 2008.
Does anyone know if it's possible to sign up to any of the job sites with Google Reader? Seems like a good way to drop a subtle hint to my boss.
Are they here to protect us?
Margaret Thatcher. Covered in whipped cream. (apologies to anyone who was planning to close their eyes in the near future)
Is there anything we can currently discover apart from size?
Is it even worth presenting the evidence to the jury?
At the moment, this high tech surveillance equipment is cunningly disguised as a barrel full of pork.
Look, ma, I've just removed my tongue from my cheek!
I'm deeply indebted to Microsoft innovations.
For example, source control. Sure, Subversion, CVS etc all have their good points, but only VSS will randomly corrupt various setup scripts, thus giving me a free afternoon reading facebook while the the developers and DBAs try to fix our QA environments.
SQL Server. Can MySQL offer the same guaranteed crash every time I haven't saved my foreign key scripts? Can it bollocks. Restore from live, please.
Does Firefox have the ability to collect enough spyware that I can derive malicious pleasure from getting an underling to spend the entire morning reproducing a bug that was actually caused by some toolbar he'd inadvertantly installed? No
Fuck open source. Microsoft is the only thing standing between me and actually having to work to earn my paycheck.
The baseball bloggers start compiling meticulous statistics on ejection averages.
It's great.
You score 5 points every time you reduce a developer to incoherent frustration*, 10 points when you "suddenly notice" a flaw in the requirements causing a project to be re-engineered at the last minute and 20 points when you break a production system and successfully lay the blame on someone else.
*Double if they're on the autistic spectrum and temporarily lose the ability to communicate except in grunts and howls.
Was the laser attached to a missile launcher?
Evil educators deny foursquare bong hits. You are brainwashed stupid by non harmonious word god. Perhaps, you should stop worshipping Satanic impersonator and match my cubic wisdom. Corporate Nazi incest only occurs with opposites, not foursquare harmonic time cube of perpetual man.
Yeah, because that worked so well for Daikatana.
As an Englishman, the one flaw in my inborn sense of cultural superiority has been the lack of Rupert Murdoch owned tabloids in America. Thank you, FCC.
Blatantly off topic, but my karma's fucked anyway - these posts are one of the best adverts possible for Noscript. All that posting goes to waste if the Javascript won't start.
I'm tone deaf.
Teleological arguments point to the existence of a Creator
They don't provide any evidence that aforementioned creator sent his son to get nailed to a plank of wood, or that Allah spoke through an epileptic child molester, or that buying Holy Healing Miracle Water off a televangelist will make you anything other than a gullible fuckwit.
And in answer to the article question, Flying Spaghetti Monster.
But Microsoft are a CONVICTED MONOPOLY!111!11
(Why is there no -1 Horrific Mental Image mod available?)
The bees won't have room to fly properly in the tubes. Even I know that much.
I'm guessing they're referencing the Wow! signal there:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wow_signal
I've got no idea why it's significant, however. Can anyone explain?
IANAP (physicist) but would any species capable of crossing interstellar space actually be looking for radio waves? Isn't that like using an SR-71 to look for smoke signals and war drums?
Admittedly, the fact that she's been dead 15 years probably doesn't help.
George Bush doesn't care about black clouds.