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User: PolygamousRanchKid+

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  1. Re:The only absurd part of this... on Sell Someone Else's Book On Lulu! · · Score: 1

    Just be glad in the Newton family never patented calculus so that you'd have to pay a license fee to do your homework.

    Yeah, but the Newton family would have to slug it out with the Leibniz family ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gottfried_Wilhelm_Leibniz ), who also claimed to be the father of calculus.

    Leibniz had a more outrageous hairdo than The B-52s , so I guess he would have won any court battle.

  2. Re:Political entity required to comply? on Wikileaks Now Hosted By the Swedish Pirate Party · · Score: 1

    As a political entity, wouldn't the pirate party have some sort of international obligation to comply when other federal governments ask them to remove information?

    Yes, there is an international obligation to comply. But they are only required to wear black patches over one eye, get a peg leg, and sport a parrot on their shoulders (a Norwegian Blue should be suitable). Otherwise when queried by "other federal governments", they can answer, "Arrgg maties, thirty days at see, and not a wench to be seen! Grease up the monkey!"

  3. Easter Island Statues on Icelandic Company Designs Human Pylons · · Score: 2, Funny

    Um, has anybody checked if the Easter Island Statues had signs of carrying power cables? That answer might clear up a lot of riddles.

  4. Laughing Gas; the solution to all problems on Rocket Thrusters Used To Treat Sewage · · Score: 1

    Developed by two engineers at Stanford University, the system starts with the formation of nitrous oxide (N2O)

    Any solution that starts with laughing gas is bound to be a success. And if not, nobody gives a rat's ass anyway. And it will be definitely a hoot and a half for all involved.

    Reporter: "Does the sewage plant still stink?"

    Resident: "Yeah, but I really don't give a damn anymore."

    This could be the beginning of a new age for nuclear energy, if the plants started spewing out nitrous oxide.

    Reporter: "Aren't you concerned that the nuclear power plant next door could be the next Chernobyl?"

    Resident: "Yes, I am concerned, but with that nitrous oxide pump, who cares?"

  5. Re:This is how HP operates.... on HP CEO's Browsing History Used Against Him · · Score: 1

    Working for HP, even at the top levels, is akin to working for Uncle Joe Stalin in '43. They're gonna know who you are and where you live,

    That's easy . . . working for Joe Stalin, means that they knew where you lived . . . in the Gulag Archipelago: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gulag_Archipelago

  6. Re:Once again, kids on New Firefox iFrame Bug Bypasses URL Protections · · Score: 3, Funny

    ...ignore the temptation to smack that bear (or whatever flash ads are doing nowadays)

    I think the expression that you are looking for is spank that monkey.

  7. Re:The case against Hurd is dubious on HP CEO's Browsing History Used Against Him · · Score: 2, Funny

    Hurd was a goofus and tried to get intimate with a subordinate but backed off when it went nowhere, and probably did nothing illegal or immoral to Jodie Fischer or HP; the board just wanted to avoid publicity.

    Well, I would hope that someone with his salary and responsibility would be more of a "Gallant" and less of a "Goofus."

    Yeah, I read "Highlights" back then in the 70's in the doctor's office waiting room.

  8. Re:Great! on Legislation To Make Web Devices Accessible To Disabled Users · · Score: 1

    And if these politicians feel generous, they should just donate a portion of their income to organizations that help the blind. They're wealthy enough that don't have to stick taxpayers with the bill when they're feeling generous.

    A politician's business model is about spending your money . . . and not his own's . . .

  9. Re:This sort of inanity... on Legislation To Make Web Devices Accessible To Disabled Users · · Score: 1

    This is akin to mandating braille on the Mona Lisa..

    Brilliant! With apologies to The Cramps, i would like to announce this as Some new kind of kink.

    She: "Do you want to hear a little bit about me?

    Me: "No, I'll just browse around your Braille tattoos a bit. . . . as soon as you take your clothes off . . . "

    Don't even think about googleing "Braille Tattoos" . . . the results are frightening . . .

  10. Re:Declare war on the Sun! on Can Solar Storms Cause Wildfires? · · Score: 1

    Schthink of the children!

    Fixed that bug, Can I take tomorrow off . . . . ?

  11. Some new kind of kink ... on Kmart Briefly Offers $149 Android Tablet · · Score: 1

    this thing will be great for watching Gumby (don't ask) at home and Sesame Street in the car.

    I'm not sure if I know what that is supposed to mean

    I'm not not even sure that I want to know, but, "have fun with that."

    Remember the first law of 'merikan sex . . . "Do it in the dark . . . with your clothes on."

  12. Re:There goes the Eternal September on Is AOL Finally Crashing and Burning? · · Score: 1

    Me too!

    Please add me to the list

    I kid, I kid.

    No, me kid, you Jane!

  13. True fooball (soccer) behaviour on Artificial Life Forms Evolve Basic Memory, Strategy · · Score: 4, Funny

    The robots need to become spoiled, overpaid millionaires, who refuse to train (France). Brag a lot (England) that their opponent is a bunch of "boys" (Germany), who are afraid of them. Then take a 4-1 shellacking from the "boys." And despite being the defending champions, and having a world class league in their country, bow out early. Because all of the players in their first class league are from South America (Italy), and the they have no good domestic players.

    Robots with vuvuzelas? No, thanks. My next nightmare.

  14. Re:Just one question for the Algoreithm experts.. on 100-Sq.-Mile Ice Island Breaks Off Greenland Glacier · · Score: 1

    . Today, Greenland cities can grow beets, rhubarb, and other cold-weather plants that the Vikings were unable to.

    'Mkay . . . so the Greeland McDonald's offers McBeets, McRhurbarb and Mc"other cold-weather plants."

    At the Greenland drive-through: "Yes, that will be one sorry McBabyHarpSeal meal or you . . . do you want some Mc'other cold-weather plants' with that?"

    "I suggest that you use a McClub to pummel the bastard before you eat him."

    Hey, raw seal meat helps against scurvy. Really. Or have you ever seen Eskimos, Inuits and other such folks out tanning themselves while drinking Gin Gimlets?

  15. Re:In terms of rum & cokes, on 100-Sq.-Mile Ice Island Breaks Off Greenland Glacier · · Score: 1

    A buddy from the US Air Force said, "Oh, a posting in Greenland is great! There is a horny chick behind every tree! The only problem is, there ain't no trees!"

    Not that that would matter for Slashdot folks.

  16. Re:I'd like to say "Unbeliveable", but I can't on HP CEO Resigns During Sexual Harassment Investigation · · Score: 2, Insightful

    If I was HP's board, I would not have let him resign; he would have been fired on the spot. Although I admit to being surprised that they didn't ham-handedly cover up the story; perhaps they learned their lesson with the wiretap fiasco from several years ago.

    Most US banks never press charges against employee embezzlers. They are just quietly "let go."

    Why? Would you do your business with a bank that had headlines in the news for embezzelers . . .?

  17. Re:"realized"? on HP CEO Resigns During Sexual Harassment Investigation · · Score: 4, Funny

    He "realized there were instances" of misconduct on his part? More like he realized he'd been caught.

    "Realized" means, his lawyers told him, "You're fucked."

  18. Pet Rock Car on Building the Zero-Fatality Car · · Score: 1

    My Pet Rock Car from the 70's ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pet_rock ) has never had a fatality.

    Now, if I could only remember where I parked it . . .

  19. Re:a gun on Where To Start With DIY Home Security? · · Score: 2, Funny

    Indeed ... especially if he's well-trained enough to use a gun.

    Naw, just train the dog to chew off the toes of thieves . . . http://idle.slashdot.org/story/10/08/04/1547221/Dog-Eats-Mans-Toe-and-Saves-His-Life#commentlisting

  20. Choose a place to live where there is no crime on Where To Start With DIY Home Security? · · Score: 1

    Works for me. I live in a small city, big university . . . no crime. I left my Mercedes unlocked on a Friday after work, came back on Monday morning and was surprised to find it unlocked.

    And the car was still there, and everything in it.

    Stay out of conflict zones . . . and then you don't any need for high tech security systems.

  21. Re:Retiring to Mars sounds like a good idea.... on SpaceX Unveils Heavy-Lift Rocket Designs · · Score: 3, Insightful

    Americans are taxed on citizenship, not residency.

    That reminds me of an old Monty Python quip: "To boost the British economy I'd tax all foreigners living abroad."

  22. Re:blah on Churchill Accused of Sealing UFO Files, Fearing Public Panic · · Score: 3, Insightful

    1. If you believe in god, why would the existence of aliens prove that god doesn't exist?

    Read Genesis. God created the heavens, the Earth, Man and assorted other critters and varmints. God creating aliens is never mentioned. And the Bible is infallible, so UFOs with an alien crew would put theologists in a bit of a bind. And in the part about Noah's Ark, it is never mentioned that Noah rounded up two aliens.

    2. Why would you deny evidence in front of you?

    Unfortunately, religion is not about evidence, it's about faith. Which is why religion has caused humanity so much suffering over the milleniums.

  23. Re:Tech blogs are funny. on Google Kills Wave Development · · Score: 2, Insightful

    It kind of goes to show how full of shit most tech blogs are.

    Tech reporting has always been full of shit. In the 70's, when I read "Popular Mechanics/Science," they always had something that was "just few years away." Mostly, the stuff never appeared. In the 80's, we were going to have a "paperless office," real soon. The pervasiveness of computers just enables more folks to print out stuff that they probably will never read anyway. Also in the late 80's Token Ring would eventually replace Ethernet, because it is technically superior. When that didn't occur, desktop ATM would enable multimedia applications for everyone. What about the hype about Grid Computing? Oh, that's Cloud Computing now.

    The more hype there is about some new tech, the less chance that it will ever see the light of day.

    Tech blogs just enable more folks to rave about something that they don't understand.

  24. Well, if they did save the images ... on Denials Aside, Feds Storing Body Scan Images · · Score: 2, Funny

    ... they'll show up at porn sites real soon. You just need one perverted US Marshal with a USB memory stick, the Internet will do the rest.

    The US Marshals Service admitted that it had saved ~35,314 images

    Wow! That many cute chicks have walked through their scanners?

  25. Superman lives in a basement? on Superman Comic Saves Family Home From Foreclosure · · Score: 3, Funny

    I thought only nerds did that . . . ?