The DNC are Russian stooges. The Russians injected Polonium into Russian babies, and replaced them with the babies of the parents of the current DNC. When the babies reached puberty, hormonal changes activated the Polonium, and turned them into teenage Russian sleeper stooges. Putin personally controls the actions of the DNC using a Gameboy console. If Bernie beat Hillary, the humiliation would not have been so massive compared with losing against Trump. That's why the Russians wanted Hillary to win the nomination.
- Keep Clinton from campaigning in the midwest
Hillary relied on complex, abstract mathematical models that predicted her winning the Midwest with 137% of the vote versus -17% for Trump. Unfortunately, the Russians are much better at mathematics than Americans, so the Russians were able to slip some partial differential equations into Hillary's models that made her think that she would win the Midwest. So she didn't campaign there. Putin was a Russian chess genius as a child, so he did the mathematics himself on the back of a napkin in a fancy restaurant in Trenton, NJ
- Cause Clinton to collapse into a van
Hillary tripped because she was tripping. Uzbek agents replaced her car battery acid with real LSD acid. The Uzbek team was personally led by Putin himself. When her van was started, the LSD acid flooded the interior, and she tripped her balls off.
- Keep Clinton away from the press for most of the campaign
The press WAS Clinton's campaign. Since she notoriously does not listen to people who work for her, she ignored the press. Except for a reporter from Pravda, who wore a dorky old hat with a card reading "PRESS" in the band. This reporter was actually Putin, disguised as a plate of Poutine.
- Make Clinton call half the country rude names
A crack team of Russian psychiatrists developed a method to induce spells of Tourette's Syndrome in mentally healthy people using LSD laced car battery acid. And yes, it was Putin's idea.
- Force Clinton to set up a shitty little email server
Putin slipped into Hillary's real home in Arkansas at night, and whispered in her ear that she needed her own email server. Only a fool would believe that she actually lives in New York. They don't know how to make her favorite food there, Grits.
-
Tell Clinton's campaign manager that it's OK to click on "legitimate" phishing emails
Clinton's campaign manager is a Russian Stooge. See above.
More of the same wacky Russian conspiracy theories to come . . .
So you are saying there are these magic rays that go through the air that your magic "antenna" can catch and turn into a NFL game? Delusional!
If this Science Fictional technology of sending TV through the air, instead of through a cable, as God intended, is ever invented, it would be disruptive! Think of the damage that it would do to the children of cable industry workers.
This would cause more unemployment than Artificial Intelligence Automation and Guy Fawkes mask toting Anonymous Cars!
Note that these would be American jobs that would be lost: no cable country in the USA would send a technician from India to the US to fix your cable problem in Camden, NJ. Although, given the time it takes for the cable company to send a technician to fix your problem at home . . . it might seem like the technician is swimming from India to the US.
. . . so what other "typos" did they make that we don't know about . . . ? Maybe they wrote users telling them to turn their firewall and anti-virus "off" . . . but they meant to write "on" . . . ? It's just a typo.
So, instead of Trump employing Master Russian Hackers to swing the election . . . it just turns out that Hillary's staff are not aware of basic computer security essentials.
Typical Hillary: Following computer security policies is for "little people" and "deplorables", not for elite folks, like herself.
Well, if you can't afford to pay the rent . . . maybe you shouldn't be renting anything? You have to look at how well your job pays . . . and is your job secure? What would happen if you were unemployed for a while? What do you spend a month, and on what exactly? What can you do without? Do you save for an emergency? Or do you spend all of your paycheck, before it arrives . . . ?
This, of course, requires a lot of self-discipline and planning. A lot of folks can't deal with this.
Your mom's basement is probably looking like not such a bad living option now.
Or never had to pay out of pocket to fix a kid's broken arm.
Folks who can't provide for their children . . . shouldn't be having children. I really can't understand people who have no conscience. You can wreck your own life, it's yours to wreck, but to wreck the life of a child? Providing for proper health care for child should be your absolutely highest priority. This includes regular visits to a doctor and vaccinations . . . you shouldn't only take your child to the doctor when he breaks his arm. Cut your cable TV, downgrade your Internet link, no more Netflix, no expensive nail jobs for the women folk, switch to really awful tasting light beer . . . you'll drink less of it. But please take care of your children. (I can't believe that I am actually promoting "Think of the Children").
Or been born in a rust belt town when the last factory just left and/or automated.
Move. This is humanity's oldest preoccupation (OK, maybe second oldest). Mankind was spawned in Africa. Then we developed intelligence, looked around, and realized that we were living in a very nasty place. So we picked up our marbles and moved north . . . and later west and east and south again. (Some really Hard Guys stayed in Africa). Whenever we figure that the livin' ain't so great somewhere . . . we move somewhere else. You can beat the rust belt factory all you want, and rub some magical Trump Secretions on it, but it isn't going to spring back to life. You need to move.
"Man is a singular creature. He has a set of gifts which make him unique among animals: so that, unlike them, he is not a figure in the landscape – he is a shaper of the landscape. In body and in mind he is the explorer of nature, the ubiquitous animal, who did not find but made his home in every continent.
Among the multitude of animals which scamper, fly, burrow and swim around us, man is the only one who is not locked into his environment. His imagination, his reason, his emotional subtlety and toughness, make it possible for him not to accept the environment, but to change it. And that series of inventions, by which man from age to age has remade his environment, is a different kind of evolution—not biological, but cultural evolution. Man is distinguished from other animals by his imaginative gifts. He makes plans, inventions, new discoveries, by putting different talents together; and his discoveries become more subtle and penetrating, as he learns to combine his talents in more complex and intimate ways. So the great discoveries of different ages and different cultures, in technique, in science, in the arts, express in their progression a richer and more intricate conjunction of human faculties, an ascending trellis of his gifts." -- J. Bronowski
That's the essence of modern American Slavery. Nobody's _ever_ forcing you. You're completely free to starve to death and die in the streets. It's why the South abandoned real slavery. Wage Slavery is ever so much more cost effective.
I should probably paste in a snarky quote about Master/Slave morality here, but I'm too lazy to look one up now. So instead, I'll just remind you that you're also completely free to quit your job, if you think you are stuck in Wage Slavery. You are wrong when you state: "Nobody's _ever_ forcing
Hillary also lost because the American system of presidential elections (for better or worse) weights some votes more than others so that the winner of the popular vote loses the election.
Oh, I get it . . . you're talking about the Superdelegates' votes, right . . . ?
The bizarre joke here, is that a while back, Greeks were worried that they would be kicked out of the Euro, and the "New Drachma" replacement would be sharply devalued. So Greeks with cash on hand were looking for some tangible assets, that would hold value over time. So the Greeks bought a lot of cars . . . their favorite brands are German:
Mr Snowden's lawyers have previously said if he were extradited to the U.S., it would be "a foregone conclusion" that he would be convicted and jailed.
Lawyer says this because Snowden's foregone guilty
AGENT ROGERSZ: "Good evening Otto. This is agent Rogers. I'm going to ask you a few questions. And since time is short and you may lie, I'm going to have to torture you. But I want you to know it isn't personal."
OTTO: "Look Ah this isn't really necessary. I'll tell you anything you want to know."
AGENT ROGERSZ: "Good! Where is the Malibu?"
OTTO: "I don't know. Somebody ripped it from the yard."
If he gets his way: Enjoy your next iPhone costing $3000.
No, Trump plans to invade China, seize the Apple Factory there, and declare it a pseudo-State of the USA.
Of course, this will be a "Special Economic Zone", where existing Chinese labor laws, wages, environmental regulations stay the same. So, your new iPhone can be stamped with a "Made in the USA" label, but it will still cost the same as now.
A win-win for everyone. Trump will call off his planned trade war with China and give them "a piece of the action" to keep them happy. And the cleanup of smoggy Shanghai will be the problem of the US.
Just ".50" without any unit designation means that it is the Metric System. There are no units in the Metric System, just numbers. This is just one of the many advantages of the Metric System. It means that you don't have to worry about converting Hogs' Heads to the Queen's Empire Imperial Gallons. Things are just ".50".
. . . or maybe ".60", if you are landing a probe on Mars.
I can't imagine furniture assembly being much different.
Programming in furniture assembly is a bitch and a half. When you are finished with your program, either you have too many instructions left over, in which case the program is missing essential code, or you don't have enough instructions to actually finish the program at all.
Slashdot Mirror
The Russians didn't:
Yes they did!
- Game the DNC system against Bernie
The DNC are Russian stooges. The Russians injected Polonium into Russian babies, and replaced them with the babies of the parents of the current DNC. When the babies reached puberty, hormonal changes activated the Polonium, and turned them into teenage Russian sleeper stooges. Putin personally controls the actions of the DNC using a Gameboy console. If Bernie beat Hillary, the humiliation would not have been so massive compared with losing against Trump. That's why the Russians wanted Hillary to win the nomination.
- Keep Clinton from campaigning in the midwest
Hillary relied on complex, abstract mathematical models that predicted her winning the Midwest with 137% of the vote versus -17% for Trump. Unfortunately, the Russians are much better at mathematics than Americans, so the Russians were able to slip some partial differential equations into Hillary's models that made her think that she would win the Midwest. So she didn't campaign there. Putin was a Russian chess genius as a child, so he did the mathematics himself on the back of a napkin in a fancy restaurant in Trenton, NJ
- Cause Clinton to collapse into a van
Hillary tripped because she was tripping. Uzbek agents replaced her car battery acid with real LSD acid. The Uzbek team was personally led by Putin himself. When her van was started, the LSD acid flooded the interior, and she tripped her balls off.
- Keep Clinton away from the press for most of the campaign
The press WAS Clinton's campaign. Since she notoriously does not listen to people who work for her, she ignored the press. Except for a reporter from Pravda, who wore a dorky old hat with a card reading "PRESS" in the band. This reporter was actually Putin, disguised as a plate of Poutine.
- Make Clinton call half the country rude names
A crack team of Russian psychiatrists developed a method to induce spells of Tourette's Syndrome in mentally healthy people using LSD laced car battery acid. And yes, it was Putin's idea.
- Force Clinton to set up a shitty little email server
Putin slipped into Hillary's real home in Arkansas at night, and whispered in her ear that she needed her own email server. Only a fool would believe that she actually lives in New York. They don't know how to make her favorite food there, Grits. -
Tell Clinton's campaign manager that it's OK to click on "legitimate" phishing emails
Clinton's campaign manager is a Russian Stooge. See above.
More of the same wacky Russian conspiracy theories to come . . .
So you are saying there are these magic rays that go through the air that your magic "antenna" can catch and turn into a NFL game? Delusional!
If this Science Fictional technology of sending TV through the air, instead of through a cable, as God intended, is ever invented, it would be disruptive! Think of the damage that it would do to the children of cable industry workers.
This would cause more unemployment than Artificial Intelligence Automation and Guy Fawkes mask toting Anonymous Cars!
Note that these would be American jobs that would be lost: no cable country in the USA would send a technician from India to the US to fix your cable problem in Camden, NJ. Although, given the time it takes for the cable company to send a technician to fix your problem at home . . . it might seem like the technician is swimming from India to the US.
These are college graduates after all, right?
. . . so what other "typos" did they make that we don't know about . . . ? Maybe they wrote users telling them to turn their firewall and anti-virus "off" . . . but they meant to write "on" . . . ? It's just a typo.
So, instead of Trump employing Master Russian Hackers to swing the election . . . it just turns out that Hillary's staff are not aware of basic computer security essentials.
Typical Hillary: Following computer security policies is for "little people" and "deplorables", not for elite folks, like herself.
No True Scotsman would use a tent
A tent!?! Luxury!
When I was a lad, we lived in a cardboard box, at the side of the road . . .
No no no, i wanna hear more about this tomahawk fusion, sounds way cooler.
Actually, boomerang fusion is more fun and a hoot and a half for the whole family.
Just remember to "Duck and Cover" after you toss it.
who's never had a rent check bounce.
Well, if you can't afford to pay the rent . . . maybe you shouldn't be renting anything? You have to look at how well your job pays . . . and is your job secure? What would happen if you were unemployed for a while? What do you spend a month, and on what exactly? What can you do without? Do you save for an emergency? Or do you spend all of your paycheck, before it arrives . . . ?
This, of course, requires a lot of self-discipline and planning. A lot of folks can't deal with this.
Your mom's basement is probably looking like not such a bad living option now.
Or never had to pay out of pocket to fix a kid's broken arm.
Folks who can't provide for their children . . . shouldn't be having children. I really can't understand people who have no conscience. You can wreck your own life, it's yours to wreck, but to wreck the life of a child? Providing for proper health care for child should be your absolutely highest priority. This includes regular visits to a doctor and vaccinations . . . you shouldn't only take your child to the doctor when he breaks his arm. Cut your cable TV, downgrade your Internet link, no more Netflix, no expensive nail jobs for the women folk, switch to really awful tasting light beer . . . you'll drink less of it. But please take care of your children. (I can't believe that I am actually promoting "Think of the Children").
Or been born in a rust belt town when the last factory just left and/or automated.
Move. This is humanity's oldest preoccupation (OK, maybe second oldest). Mankind was spawned in Africa. Then we developed intelligence, looked around, and realized that we were living in a very nasty place. So we picked up our marbles and moved north . . . and later west and east and south again. (Some really Hard Guys stayed in Africa). Whenever we figure that the livin' ain't so great somewhere . . . we move somewhere else. You can beat the rust belt factory all you want, and rub some magical Trump Secretions on it, but it isn't going to spring back to life. You need to move.
"Man is a singular creature. He has a set of gifts which make him unique among animals: so that, unlike them, he is not a figure in the landscape – he is a shaper of the landscape. In body and in mind he is the explorer of nature, the ubiquitous animal, who did not find but made his home in every continent. Among the multitude of animals which scamper, fly, burrow and swim around us, man is the only one who is not locked into his environment. His imagination, his reason, his emotional subtlety and toughness, make it possible for him not to accept the environment, but to change it. And that series of inventions, by which man from age to age has remade his environment, is a different kind of evolution—not biological, but cultural evolution. Man is distinguished from other animals by his imaginative gifts. He makes plans, inventions, new discoveries, by putting different talents together; and his discoveries become more subtle and penetrating, as he learns to combine his talents in more complex and intimate ways. So the great discoveries of different ages and different cultures, in technique, in science, in the arts, express in their progression a richer and more intricate conjunction of human faculties, an ascending trellis of his gifts." -- J. Bronowski
That's the essence of modern American Slavery. Nobody's _ever_ forcing you. You're completely free to starve to death and die in the streets. It's why the South abandoned real slavery. Wage Slavery is ever so much more cost effective.
I should probably paste in a snarky quote about Master/Slave morality here, but I'm too lazy to look one up now. So instead, I'll just remind you that you're also completely free to quit your job, if you think you are stuck in Wage Slavery. You are wrong when you state: "Nobody's _ever_ forcing
Darn. I looked so good in orange too.
They're all "red shirts" now . . . as in:
"Captain Kirk, Spock and a few "red shirts" will beam down to the planet now.
. . . later . . .
"Two to beam up."
Have you ever actually used a Bluetooth device?
In Putinist devices, Bluetooth uses you!
. . . and please don't tell that joke about Helen Keller's parents punishing her by moving the furniture.
Have you ever actually seen photos of Helen's loving parents . . . ?
Neither did she!
. . . did they mention that it is 3D-printed . . . ?
IoU, Internet of Umbrellas, indeed.
hate is not an opinion.
Hate Lives Matter!
Hillary also lost because the American system of presidential elections (for better or worse) weights some votes more than others so that the winner of the popular vote loses the election.
Oh, I get it . . . you're talking about the Superdelegates' votes, right . . . ?
So you would need 42 thousand trillion trillion joules of energy to raise just one gram of water that high.
I knew there was something special about that number being the answer . . .
Next you will tell me that the energy can be generated by a guitar amplifier that goes up to 11 . . .
The bizarre joke here, is that a while back, Greeks were worried that they would be kicked out of the Euro, and the "New Drachma" replacement would be sharply devalued. So Greeks with cash on hand were looking for some tangible assets, that would hold value over time. So the Greeks bought a lot of cars . . . their favorite brands are German:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/fin...
Dr. Orva: Here. You smoke this, and be sure you get the smoke deep down into your lungs.
Miles Monroe: I don't smoke.
Dr. Orva: It's tobacco. It's one of the healthiest things for your body. Now go ahead. You need all the strength you can get.
I'm not American, I'm a multilingual European
"In Soviet Europe, News reads you!"
. . . multilingually . . .
"I am not a number! I am a free man!" -- PolygamousRanchPrisoner
Why are they looking for trouble half a world away?
Why are they looking for profit half a world away?
Mr Snowden's lawyers have previously said if he were extradited to the U.S., it would be "a foregone conclusion" that he would be convicted and jailed.
Lawyer says this because Snowden's foregone guilty
AGENT ROGERSZ: "Good evening Otto. This is agent Rogers. I'm going to ask you a few questions. And since time is short and you may lie, I'm going to have to torture you. But I want you to know it isn't personal."
OTTO: "Look Ah this isn't really necessary. I'll tell you anything you want to know."
AGENT ROGERSZ: "Good! Where is the Malibu?"
OTTO: "I don't know. Somebody ripped it from the yard."
[Otto is hit with electric shock and screams.]
LEILA: "I don't think he knows."
AGENT ROGERSZ: "Increase the voltage."
LEILA: "But what if he's innocent?"
AGENT ROGERSZ: "No one is innocent. Proceed."
In other news, 40% of Americans have bad sex lives.
My first thought was . . . "Nonsense! 40% of Americans aren't Slashdot readers!"
Trump owes Deutsche Bank $300 million dollars; conflict of interest anyone?
If Trump owes Deutsche Bank $300, then Trump has a problem. If Trump owes Deutsche Bank $300 million, the bank has a problem.
Unfortunately, mysterious fires at the prosecution offices destroyed the documents.
If he gets his way: Enjoy your next iPhone costing $3000.
No, Trump plans to invade China, seize the Apple Factory there, and declare it a pseudo-State of the USA.
Of course, this will be a "Special Economic Zone", where existing Chinese labor laws, wages, environmental regulations stay the same. So, your new iPhone can be stamped with a "Made in the USA" label, but it will still cost the same as now.
A win-win for everyone. Trump will call off his planned trade war with China and give them "a piece of the action" to keep them happy. And the cleanup of smoggy Shanghai will be the problem of the US.
"Zumwalt is the first of three in the $22-billion class."
. . . just think of the Beowulf cluster of Zodiac style boats with Phillipe Cousteau at the helm that you could build with $22-billion . . .
$22-billion for a big-ass boat, indeed. I'd rather be on my Bertram, anyway.
.50 what? Dollars? If so, why not say so?
Just ".50" without any unit designation means that it is the Metric System. There are no units in the Metric System, just numbers. This is just one of the many advantages of the Metric System. It means that you don't have to worry about converting Hogs' Heads to the Queen's Empire Imperial Gallons. Things are just ".50".
. . . or maybe ".60", if you are landing a probe on Mars.
Elephant birds
Jesus christ how horrifying
. . . and when one of these critters would decide to take a dump on your car windshield . . . ?
Definitely worth a "Mythbusters" episode.
I can't imagine furniture assembly being much different.
Programming in furniture assembly is a bitch and a half. When you are finished with your program, either you have too many instructions left over, in which case the program is missing essential code, or you don't have enough instructions to actually finish the program at all.