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User: PolygamousRanchKid+

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  1. Re:I made one too. on Researcher Writes A Machine Language For The Universe (typepad.com) · · Score: 4, Funny

    But with his language, no matter how you program it . . . the output is always is 42 . . .

  2. Re:There's hope for entrant class workers on Lyft Plans Self-Driving Taxi Fleet By 2017 (bgr.com) · · Score: 1

    Actually, in the beginning, they will probably have real taxi drivers behind the wheel . . . just in case the system goes entirely tits up, and they need to get the passenger to the destination.

    But, gee Wally, won't this be like IT workers training their H1B and offshore replacements? The soon-to-be-unemployed taxi drivers babysit their replacements . . . ?

  3. The last laugh goes to Amazon . . . on Amazon Bows To Pressure To Bring Same-Day Deliveries To Poor Areas (fortune.com) · · Score: 2

    Once again, those poor stupid incompetent minorities are rescued from having to better themselves in any conceivable way, thanks to us heroic progressives who are always around to babysit and control them for their own good.

    Amazon has just hired a specialist to handle deliveries to difficult areas.

    His name is Aaron Hernandez.

  4. How about dropping millennials from helicopters? They seem to be the root of the robot unemployment problem.

    Or maybe the millennials could learn to perform work that can't be done by robots . . . ?

  5. Re:good morning, let's fill these orders fast, fol on Scientists Grow Two-Week-Old Human Embryos In Lab For The First Time (reuters.com) · · Score: 0

    22 male brown skin, 31 female red hair, and 2 sets of twins. i expect hourly updates.

    Ah, so this is that "Lab Grown Meat" we were discussing recently.

    I like mine lean . . . just the arms and "wings", you can keep the rest.

    Oh, wait, please thrown in a brain for my pet Zombie.

  6. Re:Except at night. on New Record Set for World's Cheapest Solar, Now Undercutting Coal (bloomberg.com) · · Score: 1

    It doesn't rain in Dubai.

    It might . . . all they need to do, is build a giant mountain there . . . or maybe a giant badger . . . oh, never mind . . .

  7. The important question is . . . on Researchers Solve One Of The Biggest Mysteries About How Water Flows On Mars (gizmodo.com) · · Score: 4, Funny

    . . . which direction does Martian water flow when you flush the toilet . . . clockwise, or counterclockwise . . . ?

    How does water flowing on Mars affect my life or anyone else's in a meaningful way?

    This could affect your life if you are flying to Jupiter, and stop to take a dump on Mars.

  8. Re:This doesn't make sense. on UAE To Build Artificial Mountain To Improve Rainfall (engadget.com) · · Score: 4, Interesting

    Hey, we're talking about the UAE here . . . unfeasible expensive building projects don't need to make sense . . . in the "Talking Heads" sense of the phrase.

    The answer to the material question is really quite simple, actually. Just use trash. Make the mountain an above ground landfill. The world is awash in trash, that nobody wants . . . hell, the rest of the world will pay the UAE to stash their trash in an environmentally friendly climate changing mountain in the UAE.

    Old cars, useless electronic gadgets . . . bring it on, and pile it up! The baking hot sun will fry it enough so that it won't stink.

    A win--win for the whole world.

  9. Re:Too many close calls on Global Catastrophe, Even Human Extinction, Isn't All That Unlikely (theatlantic.com) · · Score: 5, Funny

    Hard to say. Nuclear war doesn't necessarily mean "extinction".

    "I would not rule out the chance to preserve a nucleus of human specimens. It would be quite easy... heh heh . . . at the bottom of ah ... some of our deeper mineshafts. The radioactivity would never penetrate a mine some thousands of feet deep."

    "Naturally, they would breed prodigiously, eh? There would be much time, and little to do. But ah with the proper breeding techniques and a ratio of say, ten females to each male, I would guess that they could then work their way back to the present gross national product within say, twenty years."

    "Now, that would necessitate the abandonment of the so called monogamous sexual relationship, I mean, as far as men were concerned. Regrettably, yes. But it is, you know, a sacrifice required for the future of the human race. I hasten to add that since each man will be required to do prodigious... service along these lines, the women will have to be selected for their sexual characteristics which will have to be of a highly stimulating nature. . ."

  10. Re:Explicit goal of the Democratic party system. on Half Of Americans Think Presidential Nominating System 'Rigged' (huffingtonpost.com) · · Score: 1

    Bernie's not a grassroots Democratic candidate.

    Bernie sits in the front row of the church, where a Hillary rally is being held . . . and he lets rip a gargantuan fart on the pew during the silent prayer. When Hillary is doing a champagne drink and shindig, Bernie is throwing a Molotov cocktail into the party.

    Bernie will be buh-bye at the end of this campaign. But the interesting question, is if someone will pick up his flag for a younger generation of Democratic voters . . . ?

  11. The nominating process is defined by the Party. A Private entity.

    Yep. That worked really well for the former East Germany . . . "the Party" took a country full of Germans, and turned it into a poor nation.

    That is absolutely amazing.

  12. Blame it on Snowden !?!?!?! on A Complete Guide To The New 'Crypto Wars' (dailydot.com) · · Score: 2

    Oh, that's just grand. I would blame the governments, who through their spying actions wake up folks and make them aware that they now need encryption. Otherwise, some government jerk will be reading their email . . . with the intention of stalking.

    Oh, can the government maybe blame Global Warming and the Zika Virus on Snowden, as well . . . ?

  13. Re:Wait until they start making a bit of money on A Majority Of Millennials Now Reject Capitalism, Poll Shows (washingtonpost.com) · · Score: 2

    They will wait a long time . . .

    "A Majority Of Capitalists Now Reject Millennials , Poll Shows"

  14. Re:Ted Cruz as Al Lewis as Grandpa in on Apple Has First Earnings Decline In More Than A Decade (go.com) · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    The MUNSTERS!

    Now THAT's funny!

    Actually, whenever Hillary Clinton goes off on a rant . . . she sounds to me like Granny Clamplett from the "Beverly Hillbillies".

    In all fairness, can someone find a republican candidate, who is similar to a character from "Bewitched"?

  15. Re:Response on North Korea Launches Missile From Submarine (cnn.com) · · Score: 1

    Nah, send John Kerry to talk at them, they'll never forgive us.

    Don't dis John Kerry . . . he has been conspicuously absent from the mud-slinging Presidential shindig . . . which means that he will probably be Hillary's choice for a running mate.

  16. "Who let the hogs out . . . ?"

    "Oink . . . oink, oink oink oink oink, oink oink oink, oink, oink oink oink oink oink, oink oink oink oink . . . etc . . .

    If it walks like a pork, talks like a pork, and tastes like pork barbecued pork . . . well . . . this bill looks like pork to me.

    The only question remains for the folks from North Carolina and Texas . . . who has the best barbecue . . . ?

    A question that is guaranteed to be more interesting than Live Full Nude Sex Show Mud-wrestling . . . or an Emacs vs. Vi debate . . .

  17. Re:Know who gives 0 shits about Stephen Fry? on Stephen Fry Urges Young To Flee 'Dystopian' Social Networks · · Score: 0

    I read two English English periodicals, to try to keep up to date on the English English language and culture. This as opposed to the American English language and culture.

    One is titled, "The Economist", and the other one is titled, "Viz". The two of them together cover a wide spectrum of all that is English, from the high-brow, to the low-brow.

    Stephen Fry falls into the realm of "Viz". English English has some very subtle nuances, so I have a question for the English English /.'ers:

    Is Stephen Fry a "Daft Twat", or is he more of a "Right Cunt" . . . ?

    The young. Well, maybe except that kid he married.

    Well, if he is a BBC presenter . . . expressing an interest in children seems to fit the mold . . .

  18. Re:Layoffs in the Valley... on Intel Confirms Major Layoff: 12,000 Worldwide, 11 Percent of Workforce (ieee.org) · · Score: 4, Insightful

    Don't worry! These layoffs will be replaced with plenty of new jobs for H1B folks!

    So I guess it will all work out for the best . . . in the end . . .

    . . . maybe . . .

  19. Re:"...but it was never used..." on Volkswagen 'Dieselgate' Software Developed At Audi In 1999, Says Report (reuters.com) · · Score: 0

    aw, c'mon, man! VW blew it all over.

    But they didn't inhale, in the Clinton sense of the word . . .

    VW executives commented at the beginning of the scandal, that it was "just a couple of rogue programmers."

    Bull-fucking-shit man! In a big German auto company, they have a quality assurance organization, that reports right up to the top.

    If so-called "Rogue Programmers" were doing the dirty work, someone on the executive staff knew what was going on.

    VW's motto used to be "Fahrvergnügen" . . . now it is "Fehlerbehebungsmassnahmen".

  20. Knock, knock on Nucleus' door . . . on Popular Dark Web Market Disappears, Users Migrate In Panic (vice.com) · · Score: 1

    "What?"

    "Who?"

    "Dave's not here, man!"

  21. Re:Somebody's gonna get dead... on US: North Korean Missile Launch a 'Catastrophic' Failure (washingtonpost.com) · · Score: 3, Interesting

    I'm guessing that they will be the guest passengers of honor on the next missile launch . . .

    An interesting side note . . . I watched a documentary about the early years of the Soviet Union's space program. After a launch test exploded, the general in charge asked one of the chief designers, I believe it was Sergey Korolev, "Who was responsible for this failure!" In other words, who should be sent to Siberia. Korolev stood behind his engineers, and answered, "I am responsible."

    We could use a few more engineering executive like that these days.

  22. Re:An expected conclusion on Zika Virus Officially Causes Rare Microcephaly Birth Defects, CDC Says (cnn.com) · · Score: 2

    Zippy the Pinhead will be amused.

    But no-one here is old enough to know who he was.

    Are we having fun yet?

    Taco sauce on Ding-Dongs . . . yummy!

  23. Re:Uh huh... on Burr-Feinstein Anti-Encryption Bill Is Officially Released (techcrunch.com) · · Score: 2

    Heck, we know more people die every year:

    - in backyard swimming pools
    - from bee stings
    - from peanut allergies

    Thank you very much! Here is my revised plan on how to deal with Dianne Feinstein:

    1. Force feed her Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.
    2. Smack a live beehive on her head. (She might look better, with a B-52 hairdo).
    3. Throw her into the swimming pool! If she weighs the same as a duck . . . she's a witch! Otherwise . . . we'll finally be rid of her.

    Shame on you, California, for you dishing up this monstrosity upon the world!

  24. Re:Things are getting more descriptive? on Microsoft's BSOD Is Getting More Descriptive With QR Codes (cio.com) · · Score: 2, Interesting

    4 - "The BSOD was caused by malicious software. The QR code takes you to a bogus phishing site."

  25. Re:inequality: a false measuring stick on Life Expectancy Study: It's Not Just What You Make, It's Where You Live (npr.org) · · Score: 1

    RTFA. No such thing as "moral evil".

    There are /.ers who consider RTFA to be a "moral evil".

    Sometimes, it seems to me that folks don't even bother to read the summary . . . or even read the post that they are responding to.

    You must be nude here.