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User: Picass0

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Comments · 1,359

  1. I stayed at a Holiday Inn last night! on Spirit Rover Disabled on Mars · · Score: 1, Funny

    I have machine empathy and a big hammer. Send me.

  2. What mama learnt ya... on Satellite Tip-Over Mishap Due to Missing Bolts · · Score: 4, Funny

    You're inside or outside. Stop running through the door. We're not trying to air condition the whole street.

    Rinse off your dishes when you're done eating.

    Don't sass back to your teacher.

    Brush your teeth before bed.

    Put things back where you found them.

    JUMPIN' JESUS, PUT THE FUCKING BOLTS BACK IN THE 230 MILLION DOLLAR SATELLITE!!!

  3. OK, I'll hold the part with the pinhole... on NASA's Giant Pinhole Camera · · Score: 3, Funny

    You hold the film and go stand back.

    Farther.

    Farther.

    Farther!

    Farther!!

    Farther!!!

  4. Re:memo to self on Mount St. Helens Alert Status Increased · · Score: 1

    "Looks like you also have to be sure you don't live in the path of an active volcano. At that rate Mount St. Helens could reach Canada in a few thousand years!"

    It's coming straight for us! Fire!

  5. Re: Well....From the TFA- on Mushroom Cloud Reported Over North Korea · · Score: 1

    A nuclear fireball is ~3 times hotter than the sun. You can't create that kind of heat with conventional ordinence.

    The US has satelites that can detect such heat plumes and wouldn't be fooled by a "fake blast".

  6. Marxist Hacker 42???? on The Dangers of One Party Rule · · Score: 1


    Marxist Hacker 42 is considered by the editors of Slashdot to be an enlightened voice of political reason. And then the editors of /. are shocked, shocked when they are accused of a bias.

    Now filtering political.

  7. ABC Nightline doing document forge story tonight on Bush Service Memos Questioned · · Score: 1

    TSIA

  8. 1972 Email Casts Doubt on Bush Guard Service on Bush Service Memos Questioned · · Score: 0

    http://www.scrappleface.com/

    1972 Email Casts Doubt on Bush Guard Service by Scott Ott (2004-09-09) -- CBS reporter Dan Rather today released the text of a recently discovered email from then-Lt. George W. Bush's Air National Guard commanding officer which casts more doubt upon the military service of the man who would become the 43rd President of the United States.

    The revelation of the email comes just hours after questions were raised about the authenticity of typewritten memos from the same officer, shown yesterday by Mr. Rather on 60 Minutes.

    According to the previously unseen email message sent in May 1972 by squadron commander Jerry Killian, Lt. Bush phoned Col. Killian because "his internet connection was on the fritz and he couldn't IM me."

    Lt. Bush apparently wanted to talk about "how he can get out of coming to drill from now through November."

    According to Col. Killian's email, the young Bush wanted to go to Alabama to work as webmaster for a Republican candidate's website.

    Mr. Rather said the authenticity of the 32-year-old email has been confirmed by several Nigerian officials who specialize in electronic funds transfer by email.

  9. Re:IBM Selectric and Executive on Bush Service Memos Questioned · · Score: 1

    Neither of those typewriters featured superscripts (see the superscript th in 144th).

    the quotes ' and " used in these documents, as well as commas, all feature curvy features not on the quotes or commas on either typewritter. Strike two.

    BUT by amazing coindicence if you re-type one of the documents in MS Word 2002, Times New Roman 11pt, you will find the font lines up perfectly and are identical in appearance, the words autowrap exactly where line breaks occur in the document, and the 'th' superscripts itself by default.

    Forensics on typewriters have been done for years. Court cases have been decided on evidence from typewriters. There is a black and white answer to this, and it will come out before November.

  10. Re:Dumb The Vote on Michael Moore Seeks TV Airing of Fahrenheit 9/11 · · Score: 1

    They need to make room in the half hour news format so they get 5 minutes of celebrity gossip and hollywood news, 5 minutes to summarize what happened in a few overhyped court trails (Scott Petersen, etc...), 5 minutes for talking heads to spin politics, and then whatever else fits.

    And old media wonders why people are turning to the internet for more information?

    It's also sad when the Daily Show on Comedy Central has taken the place of real news for many people in my age group. Jebus.

    If you're going to be concerned about politics do not depend solely upon the evening news for your point of view.

  11. Re:Dumb The Vote on Michael Moore Seeks TV Airing of Fahrenheit 9/11 · · Score: 2, Insightful

    You can thank our 10 second soundbite news for this one. When is the last time you saw the evening news and really felt you knew the whole story after seeing a news segment? When is the last time you saw a real debate - not a shoutfest - a real exchange of ideas. Programs like Hardball are now the norm for political dialogue. Don't blame the voter. Blame the TV producers who go for the red meat instead of the truth.

    Voters can only arm themselves with imformation when it is provided. Anymore the voters who care turn to (good or bad) the internet for more information.

  12. My God... on NASA Genesis Reentry Visible from Oregon to Utah · · Score: 1

    What if Genesis were used on a planet that already had life?

    Not anymore; now we can do both at the same time. According to myth, the Earth was created in 6 days. Now, watch out. Here comes Genesis. We'll do it for you in 6 minutes.

  13. Re:We need popular votes to count! on Daily Electoral Predictions · · Score: 2, Insightful


    If we went with a straight popular vote the President would be selected by 7 major metropolitan areas. The EC forces the President to be accountable to all 50 states.

    As somebody in flyover country, I would rather not be forgotten.

  14. The Scene is an Outdoor Concert on Loud Music Can Cause Lung Collapse · · Score: 4, Funny

    Guy #1: Hey, I'm having a hard time breathing!

    Guy #2: What!?!

  15. Re:Scotty would be pleased. on Transparent Aluminum Is Here · · Score: 5, Funny

    Double Dumb-ass on you!

  16. Super Monkey Collider Loses Funding on German Lab to Host International Linear Collider · · Score: 2, Funny

    from The Onion:

    Congress voted Monday to cut federal funding for the superconducting monkey collider, a controversial experiment which has cost taxpayers an estimated $7.6 billion a year since its creation in 1983.

    The collider, which was to be built within a 45-mile-long circular tunnel, would accelerate monkeys to near-light speeds before smashing them together. Scientists insist the collider is an important step toward understanding the universe, because no one can yet say for certain what kind of noises monkeys would make if collided at those high speeds.

    "It could be a thump, a splat, or maybe even a sound that hasn't yet been heard by human ears," said project head Dr. Eric Reed Friday, in an impassioned plea to Congress. "How are we supposed to understand things like the atom or the nature of gravity if we don't even know what colliding monkeys sound like?"

    But Congress, under heavy pressure from the powerful monkey rights lobby, decided that money being spent on the monkey collider would be put to better use in other areas of government. Now, with funding cut off, the future of our nation's monkey collision program looks bleak.

    Congress began funding the monkey collider in 1983, after Reed convinced lawmakers that the U.S. was lagging behind the Soviet Union in monkey-colliding technology. Funds were quickly allocated so that Reed could spend a week procuring monkeys on Florida's beautiful Captiva Island. Though Reed returned with a great tan and a beautiful young fiancee, he reported that there were no monkeys to be found on the sunny Gulf Coast island. Congress funded subsequent trips to the Cayman Islands, Bora Bora and Cancun, but these searches also yielded negative results.

    Two years passed without a single monkey being procured, and Congress was close to cutting the project's funding. It was then that Reed got the idea to utilize monkeys already being bred in captivity. The Congressional Subcommittee for Scientific Investigation was enthralled by the idea of watching caged monkeys copulate, and increased funding by 40 percent.

    With a steady supply of monkeys ensured, construction of the monkey collider began on a scenic Colorado site. Despite environmental pressure, a mountain was levelled to facilitate construction of the seven-mile-wide complex. Huge underground tunnels were dug, at a cost of billions of dollars and 17 lives. Money left over was used to build resort homes, spas and video arcades for Reed, his colleagues and several Congressmen.

    Construction of the collider's acceleration mechanism was delayed for years, as scientists couldn't decide how to get the monkeys up to smashing speed. Last month, it was finally decided that the collider would employ a system in which the monkeys run through the tunnels chasing holographic projections of bananas. "Monkeys love bananas," Reed said, "and they're willing to run extremely fast to get them."

    But now it seems the acceleration mechanism may never be built. With the monkey collider placed on indefinite hold, the huge research facility in Colorado lies dormant. To keep the space from going to waste, Congress Monday voted to convert the empty underground tunnel into a federally funded drag-racing track. The track is expected to create hundreds of jobs in the form of pit crews and concessions workers, and will allow President Clinton to impress important foreign dignitaries with America's wheelie technology.

    Despite this promising alternate plan, most involved with the monkey collider project feel the sudden cuts in funding are inexcusable. "It is a travesty of science," Reed said. "I remember the joy I felt in college when I would launch monkeys at one another with big rubber bands, and this project would have been even more enlightening."

  17. The only SW game that matters... on LucasArts Restructures, Moves More Development Off-Site · · Score: 3, Insightful

    ...would be a new X-wing vs. Tie Fighter.

    I don't want to play an online rpg. I don't want to play a Starcraft clone. I'm bored with first person shooters. I just want another XvT.

  18. Re:Yellowstone Supervolcano on Expert Warns Of Giant Tidal Wave · · Score: 1

    Yellowstone is overdue. So it's not an idle concern.

    An eruption will probably not occur in our lifetimes, if you're playing the odds game. But an eruption is an eventuality. We're not talking about IF, we are talking about WHEN. Yellowstone's last eruption was larger than Kobe, and that one nearly wiped us out as a species.

    The damage that will happen to this hemisphere cannot even be calculated. Scientists talk about giant rocks in space, but there are plenty of boogymen right here.

  19. Yellowstone Supervolcano on Expert Warns Of Giant Tidal Wave · · Score: 4, Interesting

    Look those two keywords up on Google. You will find a new reason to be nervous.

    Yellowstone erupts on a 640,000 cycle, give or take a few ten thousand years.

    Last time Yellowstone blew it buried Nebraska under six feet of ash. Anyone within a 600 mile radius would die within minutes.

    It's about 20,000 years overdue to erupt.

  20. This saves me a lot of money! on 3D Monitor · · Score: 4, Funny

    I closed my right eye and moved my head back and forth as fast as I could, and now Slashdot seems to be floating in front of my monitor!

    I also am having cold shakes and I think I may have suffered a stroke. So this method isn't perfect but it could agggghhhhh....

  21. Mod parent up!!! on Blender 2.34 Released · · Score: 1

    Holy crap!!! This guy kicks ass!!!

  22. Live CDs don't always make good impressions. on Moving To Linux · · Score: 2, Insightful

    As great as Knoppix is, I stuck it on my wife's machine when she was having some hardware problems (as a stop gap until I could do a rebuild). All she could do was bitch about how slow everything loaded from CD, such as Open Office. Combine this with the change in gui and CD distros are not always the best way to intro new users.

  23. "Silent but Deadly" Technology... on More On Silent Supersonic Planes · · Score: 1

    ... they call it the "Dutch oven" effect.

  24. I for one welcome our new Swedish Overlords! on Swedes Dominate Counter-Strike Championship · · Score: 4, Funny

    For the love of god, stop them before they dominate Everquest too!

  25. It's time for a new XvT game. on X-Wing, TIE Fighter 95 Fixed, Lego Yoda Revealed · · Score: 1


    I don't know why Lucasfilm doesn't take advantage of today's PC specs and put out a new X-Wing vs. Te-Fighter game. Especially since they can add craft from the new trilogy.

    XvT is one of my favorite LAN games ever. I'd love to see a new edition.