In the military, there are buff men who haven't jerked off in days. They see the new, girly slashdot recruit, with his soft skin and shoulder length hair. They watch him constantly, his round ass bouncing through training, and always help him. They haven't seen a woman since the start of their 4 year career. One day, they all gang up on him in the shower. One of them grabs his tiny penis between his thumb and forefinger, and he instantly goes weak in the legs from the touch. He falls back into their warm, hairy embrace. They lift him to their face. 'W...Why?' he asks, sounding almost like a girl. They don't answer, or at least, not with words. He feels a penis, larger than he ever thought possible between his ass cheeks. Holding him and moving him, they fuck him in between his ass cheeks, the heat of his shaft rubbing his tight, moistening anus. When the man is about to orgasm, he sprays his seed all over slashdot. Another man grabs him, this time turning him over. slashdot struggles but cannot resist. He slowly enters slashdot as slashdot moans with ecstasy, his virgin penis spraying clear liquids all over the floor. Another man quiets the moaning by ramming his 11 inch penis down slashdots throat, fucking his moist throat. Eventually he orgasms into his mouth, milking the last drops of delicious semen into slashdot's stomach. The man behind slashdot orgasms too, filling slashdot with warm seed, making his belly swell. slashdot collapses, the men around him circle up and start jacking off, showering him with warm seed. Where does this story end? JOIN THE ARMY.
He was invited by the "cool kids" to hang out at some kids house whose liberal parents had left for the weekend.
My brother, always a moral and thoughtful individual, wanted to attend because it was one of those massive house parties that he'd never been to.
Well, as was later recalled by some of his friends at the party, he was pressured into smoking marijuana. He ended up smoking the entire pack of marijuana cigarettes.
Not long after he went into convulsions and started foaming at the mouth. The people at the party held back calling 9/11 for almost 10 minutes.
When the paramedics finally arrived they could do nothing to save him.
The autopsy revealed he had 3 times the lethal dosage of THC in his blood.
But I'm sure everyone here will deny my story and the fact that my brother died after smoking that illegal narcotic.
Get the fuck out you god damn fucking faggot retard. Why don't you just take the hint that no one fucking likes, ever has liked you, or ever will like you? You are perhaps the most dull, trite person that has ever disgraced this message board with your stupid, meaningless posts. Jesus Christ, it is shocking how naive you are to think that ANYONE would have any feeling other than hate towards you after all that shit you pulled. You know what, I'm not telling you anything that you haven't heard many, many times before, so let's just save time and agree that you should get the fuck out.
You swine. You vulgar little maggot. Don't you know that you are pathetic? You worthless bag of filth. As we say in Texas, I'll bet you couldn't pour piss out of a boot with instructions on the heel. You are a canker. A sore that won't go away. I would rather kiss a lawyer than be seen with you.
You are a fiend and a coward, and you have bad breath. You are degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you exist. I despise everything about you. You are a bloody nardless newbie twit protohominid chromosomally aberrant caricature of a coprophagic cloacal parasitic pond scum and I wish you would go away.
You're a putrescence mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little worm deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk, a cad, a weasel. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench, a revulsion, a big suck on a sour lemon.
You are a bleating fool, a curdled staggering mutant dwarf smeared richly with the effluvia and offal accompanying your alleged birth into this world. An insensate, blinking calf, meaningful to nobody, abandoned by the puke-drooling, giggling beasts who sired you and then killed themselves in recognition of what they had done.
I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as you. You are a monster, an ogre, a malformity. I barf at the very thought of you. You have all the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers avoid you. You are vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are a weed, a fungus, the dregs of this earth. And did I mention you smell?
If you aren't an idiot, you made a world-class effort at simulating one. Try to edit your writing of unnecessary material before attempting to impress us with your insight. The evidence that you are a nincompoop will still be available to readers, but they will be able to access it more rapidly.
You snail-skulled little rabbit. Would that a hawk pick you up, drive its beak into your brain, and upon finding it rancid set you loose to fly briefly before spattering the ocean rocks with the frothy pink shame of your ignoble blood. May you choke on the queasy, convulsing nausea of your own trite, foolish beliefs.
You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. You are grimy, squalid, nasty and profane. You are foul and disgusting. You're a fool, an ignoramus. Monkeys look down on you. Even sheep won't have sex with you. You are unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in a land that reality forgot.
And what meaning do you expect your delusionally self-important statements of unknowing, inexperienced opinion to have with us? What fantasy do you hold that you would believe that your tiny-fisted tantrums would have more weight than that of a leprous desert rat, spinning rabidly in a circle, waiting for the bite of the snake?
You are a waste of flesh. You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous and obnoxious. You are the moral equivalent of a leech. You are a living emptiness, a meaningless void. You are sour and senile. You are a disease, you puerile one-handed slack-jawed drooling meatslapper.
On a good day you're a half-wit. You remind me of drool. You are deficient in all that lends character. You have the personality of wallpaper. You are dank and filthy. You are asinine and benighted. You are the source of all unpleasantness. You spread misery and sorrow wherever you go.
I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard stupid. Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid so stupid that it goes way beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. You are trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid collapsed on itself so far that even the neutrons have collapsed. Stupid gotten so dense that no intellect can escape. Singularity stupid. Blazing hot mid-day sun on Mercury stupid. You emit more stupid in one second than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid. Your writing has to be a troll. Nothing in our universe can really be this stupid. Perhaps this is some primordial fragment from the original
Are you a sockpuppet of operagost? Because my samefag detector just goes off the charts when you two keep replying in the same threads with the same inane,
insane bullshit.
Could be wrong of course, it isn't as if there are a shortage of crazies on the internet....
This website was taken down due to reasons and stuff! You can still visit Goatse Security. Thank you!
Oh no!
"The former Goatse domain, goatse.fr, has been taken down, and all existing goatse'rs will lose all services associated with the domain. A 1492 court order to the Goatse Guy, then winner of the World's Most Stretch Anus award, and later named Slashdot's Best Editor under the name kdawson forcing the site to display a message to not look at it, led to the creation of the GNAA and was an important milestone in the fight for the online rights of gay, niggers. While the domain has been sold in the past, the services offered to customers always remained unchanged. However, this most recent sale, to an unnamed party, will result in all services being dropped on July 1, and people will lose email addresses, web pages, and shell accounts that many have had for 15+ years."
I'm sorry man but here's a sad fact: I'm going to a better university than you ever could hope to go to, I'm making more money now in a crappy spring internship than you will make salaried, and the probability is extremely high that my IQ is significantly higher than yours.
I know people who have these relatively low-paying liberal arts jobs who have the balls to say that because THEY will never see $250,000 a year salary in their lifetime, it's okay to heavily tax those that do.
Perhaps they just are better relating to the human condition rather than being obsessed with owning more and more money.
See what I did there? I doubt you do. Go back to freerepublic.net, clueless retard. Not everyone is jealous of you.
Nice job proving AC's point for him. He was arguing that being born "wealthier than average" does not mean that you work harder. you would think that it was obvious from the second line really.
I know a lot of people who are not wealthier than average who work their ass off. They can't afford college, and are trying to save up enough so they can go there.
Typical butthurt Eurotrash viewing things through rosy goggles. Just keep on ignoring the fact that Europe is a fucking hateful shithole that prior to its current "enlightenment" (which is really just blaming the US) lived on the plunder of other countries.
Go ahead, let's see how you can blame shit like the Opium Wars, the World Wars, the several empires fighting for territory all the time, colonialism, and all that other shit on the US. Oh right, you just blatantly ignore your own history, but the US
has been the most belligerent nation in the world for most of its history
because it knocked over a couple dictatorships. Stupid revisionist Eurofags are last in a land that reality forgot.
I prefer to use Common Sense 2012 edition, and not download that hot_sex_underage.avi.exe on LimeWire or winrar-pro-full-crack-keygen.exe from The Pirate Bay, use Foxit Reader\Sumatra for casual PDF reading, and enable loading plugins on demand for Opera.
Slashdot Mirror
lol
In the military, there are buff men who haven't jerked off in days. They see the new, girly slashdot recruit, with his soft skin and shoulder length hair. They watch him constantly, his round ass bouncing through training, and always help him. They haven't seen a woman since the start of their 4 year career. One day, they all gang up on him in the shower. One of them grabs his tiny penis between his thumb and forefinger, and he instantly goes weak in the legs from the touch. He falls back into their warm, hairy embrace. They lift him to their face. 'W...Why?' he asks, sounding almost like a girl. They don't answer, or at least, not with words. He feels a penis, larger than he ever thought possible between his ass cheeks. Holding him and moving him, they fuck him in between his ass cheeks, the heat of his shaft rubbing his tight, moistening anus. When the man is about to orgasm, he sprays his seed all over slashdot. Another man grabs him, this time turning him over. slashdot struggles but cannot resist. He slowly enters slashdot as slashdot moans with ecstasy, his virgin penis spraying clear liquids all over the floor. Another man quiets the moaning by ramming his 11 inch penis down slashdots throat, fucking his moist throat. Eventually he orgasms into his mouth, milking the last drops of delicious semen into slashdot's stomach. The man behind slashdot orgasms too, filling slashdot with warm seed, making his belly swell. slashdot collapses, the men around him circle up and start jacking off, showering him with warm seed. Where does this story end? JOIN THE ARMY.
Bawww, are you upset that they didn't pick your favorite cause to crusade for?
That's some nice shilling. Are they paying you, or are you just that much of a crazed fanboi that you actually believe all that bullshit?
exclusive-ceo-says-hackers-tried-to-extort-data-money
ceo-says-hackers-tried-to-extort-data-money
ceo-says-hackers
ceo-says
ceo-says
Hmmm, I question the credibility of that.
He was invited by the "cool kids" to hang out at some kids house whose liberal parents had left for the weekend.
My brother, always a moral and thoughtful individual, wanted to attend because it was one of those massive house parties that he'd never been to.
Well, as was later recalled by some of his friends at the party, he was pressured into smoking marijuana. He ended up smoking the entire pack of marijuana cigarettes.
Not long after he went into convulsions and started foaming at the mouth. The people at the party held back calling 9/11 for almost 10 minutes.
When the paramedics finally arrived they could do nothing to save him.
The autopsy revealed he had 3 times the lethal dosage of THC in his blood.
But I'm sure everyone here will deny my story and the fact that my brother died after smoking that illegal narcotic.
Get the fuck out you god damn fucking faggot retard. Why don't you just take the hint that no one fucking likes, ever has liked you, or ever will like you? You are perhaps the most dull, trite person that has ever disgraced this message board with your stupid, meaningless posts. Jesus Christ, it is shocking how naive you are to think that ANYONE would have any feeling other than hate towards you after all that shit you pulled. You know what, I'm not telling you anything that you haven't heard many, many times before, so let's just save time and agree that you should get the fuck out.
Yeah bro, I hate niggers too.
You swine. You vulgar little maggot. Don't you know that you are pathetic? You worthless bag of filth. As we say in Texas, I'll bet you couldn't pour piss out of a boot with instructions on the heel. You are a canker. A sore that won't go away. I would rather kiss a lawyer than be seen with you.
You are a fiend and a coward, and you have bad breath. You are degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you exist. I despise everything about you. You are a bloody nardless newbie twit protohominid chromosomally aberrant caricature of a coprophagic cloacal parasitic pond scum and I wish you would go away.
You're a putrescence mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little worm deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk, a cad, a weasel. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench, a revulsion, a big suck on a sour lemon.
You are a bleating fool, a curdled staggering mutant dwarf smeared richly with the effluvia and offal accompanying your alleged birth into this world. An insensate, blinking calf, meaningful to nobody, abandoned by the puke-drooling, giggling beasts who sired you and then killed themselves in recognition of what they had done.
I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as you. You are a monster, an ogre, a malformity. I barf at the very thought of you. You have all the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers avoid you. You are vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are a weed, a fungus, the dregs of this earth. And did I mention you smell?
If you aren't an idiot, you made a world-class effort at simulating one. Try to edit your writing of unnecessary material before attempting to impress us with your insight. The evidence that you are a nincompoop will still be available to readers, but they will be able to access it more rapidly.
You snail-skulled little rabbit. Would that a hawk pick you up, drive its beak into your brain, and upon finding it rancid set you loose to fly briefly before spattering the ocean rocks with the frothy pink shame of your ignoble blood. May you choke on the queasy, convulsing nausea of your own trite, foolish beliefs.
You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. You are grimy, squalid, nasty and profane. You are foul and disgusting. You're a fool, an ignoramus. Monkeys look down on you. Even sheep won't have sex with you. You are unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in a land that reality forgot.
And what meaning do you expect your delusionally self-important statements of unknowing, inexperienced opinion to have with us? What fantasy do you hold that you would believe that your tiny-fisted tantrums would have more weight than that of a leprous desert rat, spinning rabidly in a circle, waiting for the bite of the snake?
You are a waste of flesh. You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous and obnoxious. You are the moral equivalent of a leech. You are a living emptiness, a meaningless void. You are sour and senile. You are a disease, you puerile one-handed slack-jawed drooling meatslapper.
On a good day you're a half-wit. You remind me of drool. You are deficient in all that lends character. You have the personality of wallpaper. You are dank and filthy. You are asinine and benighted. You are the source of all unpleasantness. You spread misery and sorrow wherever you go.
I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard stupid. Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid so stupid that it goes way beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. You are trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid collapsed on itself so far that even the neutrons have collapsed. Stupid gotten so dense that no intellect can escape. Singularity stupid. Blazing hot mid-day sun on Mercury stupid. You emit more stupid in one second than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid. Your writing has to be a troll. Nothing in our universe can really be this stupid. Perhaps this is some primordial fragment from the original
You failed to comprehend such a prevalent allusion. I shall forever dismiss you are naught but an ignorant, uninformed troglodyte.
Are you a sockpuppet of operagost? Because my samefag detector just goes off the charts when you two keep replying in the same threads with the same inane, insane bullshit.
Could be wrong of course, it isn't as if there are a shortage of crazies on the internet....
Because it was shit. The end.
This website was taken down due to reasons and stuff! You can still visit Goatse Security. Thank you!
Oh no!
"The former Goatse domain, goatse.fr, has been taken down, and all existing goatse'rs will lose all services associated with the domain. A 1492 court order to the Goatse Guy, then winner of the World's Most Stretch Anus award, and later named Slashdot's Best Editor under the name kdawson forcing the site to display a message to not look at it, led to the creation of the GNAA and was an important milestone in the fight for the online rights of gay, niggers. While the domain has been sold in the past, the services offered to customers always remained unchanged. However, this most recent sale, to an unnamed party, will result in all services being dropped on July 1, and people will lose email addresses, web pages, and shell accounts that many have had for 15+ years."
On the subject of post numbers, why are they all even?
Read The Fucking Title
I'm sorry man but here's a sad fact: I'm going to a better university than you ever could hope to go to, I'm making more money now in a crappy spring internship than you will make salaried, and the probability is extremely high that my IQ is significantly higher than yours.
Deal with it.
You aren't being trolled, you are being called out for being such a fucking idiot, APK. Also, no one likes you and you are probably very ugly.
mocked the system admins
OMG! Is nothing sacred anymore? These people are MONSTERS who need to be hunted down and killed like rabid dogs.
Haters gonna hate. I don't judge you for doing whatever the fuck it is you do, so leave my anime out of this.
I know people who have these relatively low-paying liberal arts jobs who have the balls to say that because THEY will never see $250,000 a year salary in their lifetime, it's okay to heavily tax those that do.
Perhaps they just are better relating to the human condition rather than being obsessed with owning more and more money.
See what I did there? I doubt you do. Go back to freerepublic.net, clueless retard. Not everyone is jealous of you.
I know a lot of people who are not wealthier than average who work their ass off. They can't afford college, and are trying to save up enough so they can go there.
Go ahead, let's see how you can blame shit like the Opium Wars, the World Wars, the several empires fighting for territory all the time, colonialism, and all that other shit on the US. Oh right, you just blatantly ignore your own history, but the US
has been the most belligerent nation in the world for most of its history
because it knocked over a couple dictatorships. Stupid revisionist Eurofags are last in a land that reality forgot.
I prefer to use Common Sense 2012 edition, and not download that hot_sex_underage.avi.exe on LimeWire or winrar-pro-full-crack-keygen.exe from The Pirate Bay, use Foxit Reader\Sumatra for casual PDF reading, and enable loading plugins on demand for Opera.
No, they won't. I've asked and offered to pay myself, yet both AT&T and Verizon refuse to lay lines at all. And they won't tell me why.