Sometimes, I visit my parents house. While I'm there I sometimes play games on there computer. Nowadays, when my parents see me, they sometimes say the following:
"You are low on Mana."
or
"All of your creatures are getting slaughtered."
Of course, they paraphrase, and I paraphrase, but they are pretty close. Anyone who figures out which game has the annoying coach that says those phrases gets an intangible, invisble, and non-existant cigar.
The important thing about the ad is that I remember it, and the hot girl in the ad. Unfortunately for the ad men, I forgot the name of the razor (Gillette, probably) so in that respect the ad was a failure.
The old Burma Shave ads are the best of course... nobody ever forgets Burma Shave after reading a few of those.
Is there any other kind? I mean, my girlfriend (who appropos of nothing is black) is quite the biter. I actually went "Ow!" the other night... she left a mark...
Oh well, maybe I've been deprived of soft, gentle sex... but I'm having fun anyway.
The ads star an actual senior managing director of the company, a man named Yukawa Hidekazu, who looks much like what you imagine Japanese salarymen look like. In the first, Yukawa eavesdrops on two kids saying, "Sega video games suck. Playstation is much better." Melancholy, Yukawa heads to a bar, gets drunk, and on his way home scuffles with some thugs, who beat him up. The commercial ends with him collapsed in the doorway of his house, as an offscreen voice exhorts, "Come on, Mr. Yukawa, get up!"
In the second ad, Yukawa is on a remote mountaintop, dressed in a business suit, talking to a group of seemingly friendly children who tell him that Sega has changed for the better. "Really?" he asks, at which point the children's eyes turn black and they scream, "No, it's a joke! We don't need Sega--we want Playstation!" The earth then opens beneath Yukawa and swallows him, just before he wakes up on the floor of his office to realize that his secretary has caught him daydreaming. The ad ends with him reflecting on his nightmare.
The whole Ad campaign, says "Kamikaze mission" to me, "Let go out with some dignity and show them how it's done." God speed SEGA, God speed....
Whenever I'm hooking up one of my many Genesis's in any locations. Such as after a move, or after I just bought it, the very first game I put in is Altered Beast. Something about the opening music is very comforting. It also has the advantage of being the oldest game SEGA Genesis title I own (although I bought Phantasy Star II at about the same time). (The oldest game? Well, it used to be Pong, but I think I no longer have that...)
Oh, and as to this comment, "you can't have this title in there, called Altered Beast, because that's not going to sell in Kansas." I have the following reply, from Superman: The Animated Series.
Clark Kent (to Lois Lane): Have you ever been to Kansas?
Lois Lane (to Clark Kent):God no!
Oh and the rest of his statement:
One of them is: you've got to advertise against Nintendo, you know, make fun of them. Ridicule Nintendo and make kids think that the NES is absolutely the uncoolest machine to own.
I read that, "Hello, my name is Tom Kalinske, and I'm pure evil. If you would like to learn more about pure evil, please call out hotline 1(800)666-6666."
Still, it was good for a laugh, I remember hassling my brother about his Super Nintendo, "Yes, but it doesn't have blast processing, it just doesn't have any MegaHertz. I guess SEGA does what Nintendon't." Oh, and the commercial with the inbred hicks and the bug zapper making fun of Gameboy... it came in handy even though I was a Lynx owner...
Well, there is always the possibility that after too many incompetently run wars the military decides that the whole caring about free elections and listening to whatever idiot the clueless masses decide to throw up as maximum leader is a sucker's game. They figure General Strang cares about them and has fought for their pay raises and pensions, so why not just put General Strang in charge. All Hail Strang!
See Roman history for an example of an unstoppable juggernaut of a country suffering from incompetant leadership.
Or you could try to up your numbers by recruiting.
Henchman 24: But I could never be a henchman. I am just a normal guy between the age of eighteen and thirty, a loner, and lacks ties to friends and family.
[a crowd of thugs starts to gather]
Henchman 21: You, stranger, are the perfect candidate for costumed aggression.
Thug: Yo, fat boy. We get to carry a piece?
Henchman 21: But of course! Your standard grade one henchman in service of the mighty Monarch is issued a dart gun and a grappling cannon. To name only a few of the exciting accoutrements that will aid the henchman in his wondrous world of career henching.
Another Thug: Hey what kinda ride we get?
Henchman 21: How does an enormous flying cocoon sound to you?
Henchman 24: Wow, a flying cocoon? I can already feel my life getting better!
--Hate Floats
Frankly, the best GTA clones I've played, Hulk: Ultimate Destruction and Simpsons: Hit and Run did well because they offered a certain amount of novelty which allowed me to not say, "You know, I'd much rather be playing Vice City than this game."
However, the "urban" genre isn't dead. The problem with a lot of these games is that "urban" is considered a marketing tool, and the games released with the "urban" theme haven't been very good.
I'd argue that there has to be a certain amount of enthusiasm when making any game. I get the impression that the people at Rockstar enjoy what they do and didn't pick GTA just as a marketing tool. I think they might've been down at the pub and said, "Hey mates, I think a game where the player could just grab any car on the street and drive it around would be fun." "Crikey, that's brilliant." "Stone the crows, let's get back to headquarters and start programming this, well after a few more pints."
In fact, another "urban" game, the freeware "drug dealer" game I've played a few times, was probably made under a similar level of enthusiasm though a lower budget.
However, I think a lot of recent games with this theme have been more like, "We need to hit on a new paradigm for video games." "Well, that GTA game is popular and Gangsta Rap is popular, perhaps we can cash in on this trend." "Yes, it hits our key demographic group, lets have a concept meeting about it, after I finish my latte."
Seriously, the ads were about sex, not violence. I know not everyone would find the models in the ads attractive, but they were supposed to be. The Ads were supposed to be titillating, not racially charged. Seriously, if you look at other, similar Ads (i.e. models posing and "doing stuff"), you'll see the same thing.
Once, a few years ago, they had some ad with a really attractive woman shaving her face with some new razor, saying, "ooh, is this the sensitive part... poor baby." Obviously, the purpose of the ad wasn't the shaving (or they would have some gruff, bearded man shaving).
So, all the controversy? It was about people totally not getting the ads.
It's a troll because that the time the game studio Silicon Knights was owned by Nintendo. It would be like complaining Bungie was shooting themselves in the foot by not releasing Halo for Playstation.
It seems to me that the two women aren't getting ready to fight, but that they're probably getting ready to have sex. The ads are just showing which one will be the top.
So rather than being racist, I'd say the ads are pro-lesbian.
Well, aside from the rootkit, Sony are paid in full members of the MPAA/RIAA and thus are the people who are partly responsible for every DRM debacle we've had to deal with for the past few decades. Including getting the DMCA passed into law, the broadcast flag, the DeCSS fiasco, the most DRMed-up of the two High Definition Disk formats.
The whole point of Blueray is that DVD is no longer a credibly DRMed format. DVDs are now, to the most remotely savvy of users, the video equivalent of (non-rootkitted) CDs. It's not about High Def, that's just the bait, the hook is the DRM.
Even the hated Microsoft are just starting to wade into the DRM pool, Sony have been happily dog-paddling in the deep end since their one brief shining moment in the Betamax case.
Sony are not free software idealists. The version of Linux that they allow to exist on their console will be deliberately crippled and not have access to its higher brain functions so they can continue to make money selling licenses and expensive developer kits to favored studios. What kind of free software OS deliberately blocks software from working if it isn't licensed? No kind, it's the sound of one hand clapping.
Linux with DRM, what's the point? What's Free Software about that? We'd all be better off switching to OS X if that's what we want. Heck, the Mac Mini is comparable in price. Seriously, I'll never get this. (Yes, I know that what you really mean is that "It runs Linux and presumably will play the best games too," the best games is the only meaningful part of that argument. A big "so what" that they are leveraging the most mature Free Operating system so they don't have to pay their hated competitors Microsoft and Apple for their OSs. They've taken Linux and made it less Free than Windows Vista. Interesting in the way that Sauron turning noble and beautiful elves into hideous and corrupt orcs was interesting, but horrifying to anyone who actually cares about software freedom.)
Also, any trend you don't like about gaming? Blame Sony, they've been the trend-setters. They've been just as much content gatekeepers as Nintendo was when they were in charge, they just block different things.
Seriously, Sony fandom does not make sense to me, unless its based on the supposition that they are going to win. They have no taste and they take every opportunity they can to screw us "consumers" as roughly as they can without even the courtesy of lubing us up first. I can understand "backing the winners" as the excuse for loving Sony, or maybe if you really love their first party games (I can't think of any super well loved Sony first party games, myself, but I assume there are some). In other words, pragmatism, the same reason I'll always be a Microsoft gamer (not an XBOX gamer in my particular case, a Windows gamer) because if I want to play the best computer games I have to deal with Microsoft's jackassery. For consoles, its been the same, if you are serious you buy a PS2 first and then maybe one of the other systems. (Note my hatred of Sony prevented me from doing this, even though I would've had to advise any person who wanted to play video games to do it if I were being honest.) They were close to getting a monopoly last generation, they were certainly the undisputed market leaders.
But this love of Sony, because they are so cool or something? I don't get it.
Oddly enough, ABC are heavily invested in iTunes (though not Invasion unfortunately). I watched all of season two (of Lost) without commercials through these means. You just have to wait for the show to be put up on iTunes, usually the next day. They also have their free, online, with limited commercials Web version. (I tend to suspect that this, along with Adult swim fix, will eventually have the show destroying commercials added.)
Of course, you can also try other means to get shows but I find it less reliable (though the episodes of Lost I managed to get this way were no DRM with widescreen and high def.)
Slashdot Mirror
There was a game like that for Coleco vision... why it seems like last year, doesn't it? Where does the time go?
She sounds like a straight shooter with upper management written all over her.
"You are low on Mana."
or
"All of your creatures are getting slaughtered."
Of course, they paraphrase, and I paraphrase, but they are pretty close. Anyone who figures out which game has the annoying coach that says those phrases gets an intangible, invisble, and non-existant cigar.
The old Burma Shave ads are the best of course... nobody ever forgets Burma Shave after reading a few of those.
Oh well, maybe I've been deprived of soft, gentle sex... but I'm having fun anyway.
As in he was trying to find the Philosopher's Stone (or the Soceror's Stone for Americans)?
So, therefore, I suppose I should also believe in Alchemy, and be working on gaining physical immortality and converting base metals into gold.
After all, I'm not smarter than Isaac Newton.
"I'm sacrificing this virgin to humanist principles and/or Ayn Rand."
On the other hand, I believe the LORD told Isaac to do something like that... and also a few people more recently who get in the news now and then.
Oh, and as to this comment, "you can't have this title in there, called Altered Beast, because that's not going to sell in Kansas." I have the following reply, from Superman: The Animated Series.
Clark Kent (to Lois Lane): Have you ever been to Kansas?
Lois Lane (to Clark Kent): God no!
Oh and the rest of his statement:
I read that, "Hello, my name is Tom Kalinske, and I'm pure evil. If you would like to learn more about pure evil, please call out hotline 1(800)666-6666."Still, it was good for a laugh, I remember hassling my brother about his Super Nintendo, "Yes, but it doesn't have blast processing, it just doesn't have any MegaHertz. I guess SEGA does what Nintendon't." Oh, and the commercial with the inbred hicks and the bug zapper making fun of Gameboy... it came in handy even though I was a Lynx owner...
Ah those were good days. Good days...
I have the perfect robot for a computer science class. It doesn't do anything, it's just a plastic toy. But it is called "The Big O."
See Roman history for an example of an unstoppable juggernaut of a country suffering from incompetant leadership.
Idea stolen from Chalmers Johnson....
[a crowd of thugs starts to gather]
Henchman 21: You, stranger, are the perfect candidate for costumed aggression.
Thug: Yo, fat boy. We get to carry a piece?
Henchman 21: But of course! Your standard grade one henchman in service of the mighty Monarch is issued a dart gun and a grappling cannon. To name only a few of the exciting accoutrements that will aid the henchman in his wondrous world of career henching.
Another Thug: Hey what kinda ride we get?
Henchman 21: How does an enormous flying cocoon sound to you?
Henchman 24: Wow, a flying cocoon? I can already feel my life getting better!
--Hate Floats
However, the "urban" genre isn't dead. The problem with a lot of these games is that "urban" is considered a marketing tool, and the games released with the "urban" theme haven't been very good.
I'd argue that there has to be a certain amount of enthusiasm when making any game. I get the impression that the people at Rockstar enjoy what they do and didn't pick GTA just as a marketing tool. I think they might've been down at the pub and said, "Hey mates, I think a game where the player could just grab any car on the street and drive it around would be fun." "Crikey, that's brilliant." "Stone the crows, let's get back to headquarters and start programming this, well after a few more pints."
In fact, another "urban" game, the freeware "drug dealer" game I've played a few times, was probably made under a similar level of enthusiasm though a lower budget.
However, I think a lot of recent games with this theme have been more like, "We need to hit on a new paradigm for video games." "Well, that GTA game is popular and Gangsta Rap is popular, perhaps we can cash in on this trend." "Yes, it hits our key demographic group, lets have a concept meeting about it, after I finish my latte."
Once, a few years ago, they had some ad with a really attractive woman shaving her face with some new razor, saying, "ooh, is this the sensitive part... poor baby." Obviously, the purpose of the ad wasn't the shaving (or they would have some gruff, bearded man shaving).
So, all the controversy? It was about people totally not getting the ads.
Penny Arcade Take (on a similar use of Bittorrent)
It's a troll because that the time the game studio Silicon Knights was owned by Nintendo. It would be like complaining Bungie was shooting themselves in the foot by not releasing Halo for Playstation.
Your assumptions about them are somewhat racist.
So rather than being racist, I'd say the ads are pro-lesbian.
<Nimoy>Fascinating.</Nimoy>
The whole point of Blueray is that DVD is no longer a credibly DRMed format. DVDs are now, to the most remotely savvy of users, the video equivalent of (non-rootkitted) CDs. It's not about High Def, that's just the bait, the hook is the DRM.
Even the hated Microsoft are just starting to wade into the DRM pool, Sony have been happily dog-paddling in the deep end since their one brief shining moment in the Betamax case.
Sony are not free software idealists. The version of Linux that they allow to exist on their console will be deliberately crippled and not have access to its higher brain functions so they can continue to make money selling licenses and expensive developer kits to favored studios. What kind of free software OS deliberately blocks software from working if it isn't licensed? No kind, it's the sound of one hand clapping.
Linux with DRM, what's the point? What's Free Software about that? We'd all be better off switching to OS X if that's what we want. Heck, the Mac Mini is comparable in price. Seriously, I'll never get this. (Yes, I know that what you really mean is that "It runs Linux and presumably will play the best games too," the best games is the only meaningful part of that argument. A big "so what" that they are leveraging the most mature Free Operating system so they don't have to pay their hated competitors Microsoft and Apple for their OSs. They've taken Linux and made it less Free than Windows Vista. Interesting in the way that Sauron turning noble and beautiful elves into hideous and corrupt orcs was interesting, but horrifying to anyone who actually cares about software freedom.)
Also, any trend you don't like about gaming? Blame Sony, they've been the trend-setters. They've been just as much content gatekeepers as Nintendo was when they were in charge, they just block different things.
Seriously, Sony fandom does not make sense to me, unless its based on the supposition that they are going to win. They have no taste and they take every opportunity they can to screw us "consumers" as roughly as they can without even the courtesy of lubing us up first. I can understand "backing the winners" as the excuse for loving Sony, or maybe if you really love their first party games (I can't think of any super well loved Sony first party games, myself, but I assume there are some). In other words, pragmatism, the same reason I'll always be a Microsoft gamer (not an XBOX gamer in my particular case, a Windows gamer) because if I want to play the best computer games I have to deal with Microsoft's jackassery. For consoles, its been the same, if you are serious you buy a PS2 first and then maybe one of the other systems. (Note my hatred of Sony prevented me from doing this, even though I would've had to advise any person who wanted to play video games to do it if I were being honest.) They were close to getting a monopoly last generation, they were certainly the undisputed market leaders.
But this love of Sony, because they are so cool or something? I don't get it.
Of course, you can also try other means to get shows but I find it less reliable (though the episodes of Lost I managed to get this way were no DRM with widescreen and high def.)
At least Vampires don't devour eyeballs....
Amsterdam has bigger problems, though.