Walmart Tries to Emulate MySpace

mattsucks writes to tell us that according to AdAge, retail behemoth WalMart is trying desperately to target the MySpace demographic with a new, and highly sanitized, site designed to appeal to teens. From the article: "It's a quasi-social-networking site for teens designed to allow them to 'express their individuality,' yet it screens all content, tells parents their kids have joined and forbids users to e-mail one another. Oh, and it calls users 'hubsters' -- a twist on hipsters that proves just how painfully uncool it is to try to be cool."

Comments

Uh oh

[Anonymous Coward]

I didn't think it was humanly possible, but I think I like Myspace better.

Re:Uh oh

[MrPsycho]

Good Lord, there has to be an end to this. Every company with an online frontend thinks they can create some kind of social-networking infrastructure to "draw the hip kids in" with. What a load of crap. Why would I join the walmart network to hook up with my friends and buy paper towels, when I'm already connected to 15 different networks. I already have too many to be on. Not to mention, I am sure a social network like myspace, whose sole purpose is to serve as a social network, is much better at performing that function than, say, Walmart is. Walmart sells me toothpaste at a discount, it doesn't connect me to my friends. And in case they haven't noticed, teenage girls aren't going to tell each other they shop at Walmart. There's a bit of a stigma attached to that. From what I hear, they all shop at Target, or "Tär-zhAy"

Re:Uh oh

[carpe_noctem]

On one website, you can find underage booty to take home with you.... on the other, you can find low, low prices!

hrms, tough decision....

Re:Uh oh

[Ethan Allison]

Walmart Hub 2.0: underage booty at low, low prices! ...Why does this sound like a profitable business model enough to scare me?

Re:Uh oh

[zaphod_es]

There speaks someone who is not an teenager and cannot even remember what it was like. Maybe it is mutant genes and maybe teenagers just like to be awkward but anythng they like, almost by definition, is bad taste. If you doubt me take a look through your own old photographs.

Re:Uh oh

[Anonymous Coward]

Not to mention, I am sure a social network like myspace, whose sole purpose is to serve as a social network, is much better at performing that function than, say, Walmart is. Walmart sells me toothpaste at a discount, it doesn't connect me to my friends.

True, but just because they're known for something else doesn't mean they can't throw money at the problem and come up with a good solution.

Re:Uh oh

[aichpvee]

Our site requires Flash 8 in order to present you with the highest level of interactivity available.
Please click here to visit the Macromedia site and download the free Flash player for your Web browser,
then return to our site to experience our site at its best.

It's so great running Linux. I couldn't view that crap even if I wanted to. Now if only all the other garbage on the web would take this precaution to protect me from seeing their sites...

Re:Uh oh

[Flendon]

True, but just because they're known for something else doesn't mean they can't throw money at the problem and come up with a good solution.

Well, they got the 'throw money at the problem' part right at least.

Re:Uh oh

[MrPsycho]

Right, but the key problem is the userbase. Why does AIM remain so popular as the AOL isp service continues to decline? Existing infrastructure. Everyone has an AIM screen name, and if you want to talk to them you'll likely have to do the same. So, why would I join a social network site like Walmart to shop with my friends, when none of my friends are on it? Its going to take a LOT of money to fix that and incentivise getting me to join your service. And when that's finished, did you really sell more crap?

Re:Uh oh

[killjoe]

"Walmart sells me toothpaste at a discount, it doesn't connect me to my friends. "

I believe you but that doesn't mean it's not for other people. Malls connect friends for most teenagers in the US. Walmart connects friends for most reitred people who ride around in winnebegos. It's true, look it up. These old folks park every night in a different walmart parking lot and get together.

For americans shopping is networking. Shopping is also how they define themselves. People (especially teenagers) rely entirely on products to form their self image. For them where they shop and what they buy is the most important thing in their lives. Often more important then their families or friends.

Walmart will probably succeed but most likely by appealing to the geriatric crowd. These people have a lot of time and a lot of free income too.

Re:Uh oh

[mgblst]

If the rednecks want to go form their own community, then let them I say. And it is pronounced Tarjay where I am from.

Re:Uh oh

[Ohreally_factor]

Has anyone dicked around over there, had a looksee? I did. I created a profile and a page partway, before I got hung up in their process.

I wouldn't say that they're trying to rip off myspace. They're using the idea of MySpace to sell product. This is about marketing back-to-school clothes in an interactive quasi-social way. It's marketing. It's marketing. It's marketing. There is a video contest sponsored by sony. You're supposed to create a video for your page. The video is supposed to be an commercial showing you doing school "your way". That's the marketing slogan: School Your Way.

There is no social interactivity, as near as I can tell. No way to leave comments.

They're not trying to attract the hip kids, so much as they're trying to do a makeover on kids that would normally be shopping for their clothes at walmart. There going after the kids that want to be hip, but aren't. Not ever mall contains a hot topic. This isn't about kids being hip, this is about marketers trying to be hip, tryng to understand the MySpace phenom so they can sell it back to you.

A little Frank Zappa song would be apropos here.

I am gross and perverted
Im obsessed n deranged
I have existed for years
But very little had changed
I am the tool of the government
And industry too
For I am destined to rule
And regulate you

I may be vile and pernicious
But you cant look away
I make you think Im delicious
With the stuff that I say
I am the best you can get
Have you guessed me yet?
I am the slime oozin out
From your tv set

Re:Uh oh

[Anonymous Coward]

For americans shopping is networking. Shopping is also how they define themselves. People (especially teenagers) rely entirely on products to form their self image. For them where they shop and what they buy is the most important thing in their lives. Often more important then their families or friends.

After reading that, and remembering GWB's ultimatum, I think I'm with the terrorists on this one.

Re:Uh oh

[TubeSteak]

Yea, I got that message too.

So, out of curiosity, I peeked at their shockwave file:
http://a1.g.akamai.net/f/1/25623/1h/exxonmobil.dow nload.akamai.com/25623/theHub/multimedia/home_land ing.swf

exxonmobil?

Anyone who understands Akamai (better than I) feel up to explaining how that works? Shouldn't Wal Mart get their own subdomain walmart.download.akamai.com?

Re:Uh oh

[Patented]

Of course, MySpace just moved up to Flash 9 in order to view their videos on their site. This was due to "security concerns". Peh... now I'm two versions behind the masses.

Re:Uh oh

[The-Bus]

You've broken the last veil that allows you to look into the vast veil of the Corporate Illuminati and see the truth: All companies are the same company. Expect to be black-bagged within the next hour.

That, or Wal-Mart's charming mascot is going to be cutting gas prices.

Re:Uh oh

[Winlin]

But remember, Walmart gets their underage booty from China...Buy American!!!

Re:Uh oh

[elrous0]

Expect to see a lot of mysteriously well-organized "OMG, SUV's are *so* cool!!!" and "OMG, I think the oil companies get *SUCH* a bad rap" posts on that site.

-Eric

Re:Uh oh

[insanarchist]

I would think the "stupid" kids would be the ones they're actually catering to. Making stupid kids feel "hip" is the best way to take their money, as the actual* "hip kids" wouldn't shop at walmart anyway. (*in their minds)

Re:Uh oh

[elrous0]

I suspect Walmart is actually targetting the PARENTS more than the kids. By offering such a heavily-filtered, dumbed-down, bland version of Myspace (with the good ole' trusted Walmart name brand, no less), they're probably hoping to lure in parents looking to offer their kids a lame-ass knock-off of what the cool kids are using (think of it as analogous to Walmart's equally lame-ass knock-off clothing line).

I pity the poor kids whose bible-thumping or paranoid parents force them off Myspace and onto this turd. Just keep telling yourself that it will end when you go to college, kids. And, for God's sake, DO NOT let them send you to Liberty University.

-Eric

Re:Uh oh

[revery]

From what I hear, they all shop at Target, or "Tär-zhAy"

Who told you about the secret, hilarious name that I CAME UP WITH for my favorite (pronounced "fave-o-right") store?!?! Do you people have my room bugged or something? I swear, ever since Stupert Murdoch (another little gem of mine, and no you can't use it) bought MySpace, everytime I think of something funny, like a week later, I see it on TV, and I'm getting sick of it. So back off, ok? Yesterday I came up with a hilarious pun on Hillary Duff's name and if I find out someone has been eavesdropping, I am gonna be ticked...

Re:Uh oh

[Sazarac]

Hooray for Frank! He was so far ahead of the times that we haven't caught up with him yet. Too bad he had a dicky prostate.

Re:Uh oh

[Fnkmaster]

A much better marketing move would be to try to get kids to call Walmart "Wäl-mArr" or maybe even "Wil-merr". You know the pseudo-French pronunciation makes it much more hip and acceptable in upper middle class circles.

Seriously, Walmart is anti-cool. Nobody here in New York would ever admit that they shop at Walmart, even if they had them here in the city. Fuck, they hire old people to sit by the doors and say hello. If that's not unhip, I don't know what is.

Folksy and hip are basically at odds with each other. They should try to be one or the other and stick to it. If they want to do hip, it's going to have to be under a totally separate brand name. If they don't understand that, they don't deserve to be in business.

Re:Uh oh

[hoggoth]

> Walmart will probably succeed but most likely by appealing to the geriatric crowd

So, you think we will see winning videos with lyrics like this:

"Cruise down to the 'Wal to meet my FRIENDS
We'z hanging in the lot wearin' our DEPENDS (word!)"

Re:Uh oh

[CheeseTroll]

Any true Minnesotan (where Target is based) will tell you that it's actually "Tar-zhay Boutique"!

Re:Uh oh

[DrBdan]

I don't possibly see what hilarious pun you could think of with Hillary Duff's name. Hillary just doesn't lend itself to any good jokes.

Re:Uh oh

[Skreems]

You will obey me while I read you
And eat the garbage that I feed you
Until the day that we don't need you
Don't go for help, no-one will heed you.

Your mind is totally controlled
It has been stuffed into my mold
And you will do as you are told
Until the rights to you are sold.

Re:Uh oh

[Yusaku Godai]

Most of the people I know, myself included, called it "Tär-zhAy." I guess it's not a unique thing after all.

Re:Uh oh

[cayenne8]

"...as the actual* "hip kids" wouldn't shop at walmart anyway."

Hell, not just the 'hip kids'...who the hell all DOES shop at Wally world? I think I stopped in to one a few weeks ago, just to get some smokes...but, that was the first time I'd been in one for ages!!! I can see buying some oil or windshield fluid for the car, or even a couple of grocery items from the ones that have groceries in them, but, does anyone actually shop there for clothing and such??? Certainly not for kids to wear to school (over the age of 7)...or to work?

I just don't know anyone that shops there that often for anything of serious merit...

Re:Uh oh

[cayenne8]

"And it is pronounced Tarjay where I am from."

Yeah, the GP had mentioned this like it was something new kids had come up with....I've been using that pronouncement for at least 15 - 20 years...

Re:Uh oh

[qcubed]

Also, it's Adobe Flash Player now, not Macromedia.

Re:Uh oh

[IAmTheDave]

Akamai uses tech to determine which of its servers is closest to you that can serve the file fastest. Akamai will go out and find super-fast connected hubs and pay to toss their software and content onto said servers, placing said content closer to the actual user. These servers are called "edge" servers because they sit close to the "edge" of the internet, or right on top of end-users. Akamai has thousands of these so called "edge" servers around the world. Limelight is very similar, except for the fact that one of the companies owns all of its edge servers and one doesn't "own" any of them but rents space and bandwidth. I forget which is which. Anywho, likelyhood is ExxonMobile has some rediculously fast direct-to-backbone server farm somewhere close to a major metropolitan location that rents space/bandwidth to Akamai. It happened to be the server that was able to serve the file fastest to you, so that's where you got it from.

Re:Uh oh

[Dun Malg]

everytime I think of something funny, like a week later, I see it on TV, and I'm getting sick of it.

You think that's bad? The stuff you make up could conceivably have been made up independently by someone else. You should hear what happened to me. In '93 a friend of mine was working at Film Roman on the ill-fated Blues Brothers animated series. One weekend we went to a party at the house of one of his friends from work. Being a bit of a weirdo, I was sitting on the couch telling (in a faux-british accent) a fictionalized biographical story about my life, specifically what it was like living in a mansion with some 300 anthropomorphic monkeys. It was basically like a stand-up comic act kind of thing I'd do at parties while high. At any rate, part of the bit was about one group of monkeys who would dress up in period accurate costumes and reenact the Battle of Gettysburg. Fast forward a year or so, and I'm watching The Simpsons. It's the Stonecutter episode. The one where, near the end, Homer spends the Stonecutter's money on getting a bunch of monkeys, in period accurate costumes, to reenact the Battle of Gettysburg. There's no way in hell they came up with that independently-- particularly because some of the writers were at that party.

Re:Uh oh

[jez9999]

I've been using that pronouncement for at least 15 - 20 years...

Why? Do you Americans have a secret admiration for the French and want to start speaking their language? And what's with your pronunciation of the word 'fillet', and usage of the word 'resumé' (I even had to use a very non-English accent there!) ?

Re:Uh oh

[Don853]

Interesting story, but methinks your sarcasm detector is broken.

Re:Uh oh

[Anonymous Coward]

Me and my 300 monkeys have a hard time believing you on this one.

Re:Uh oh

[Proteus]

Dude, it's not hard to "french up" the word "Target" to make it sound like a nicer place to shop. People have been doing that for as long as I can remember.

Re:Uh oh

[jb.hl.com]

a hilarious pun on Hillary Duff's name

Hairy Muff?

Do I win?

Re:Uh oh

[jb.hl.com]

Oh yeah, I frequently call Tesco (biggest British supermarket, competitor of who I work for) Tossco. Ha ha ha. Even I consider that a crime against puns.

Calling the Daily Mail the Daily Fail however is all mine. Daily Wail? Puh-lease.

Re:Uh oh

[Anonymous Coward]

Um... It's been refered to as "the french department store" for at least a decade (when I first heard the joke.. so it could've been longer or even much longer) It's entirely possible that what you thought you made up, you actually heard and didn't remember hearing, so later you thought you were all clever for being so witty. But don't let me stop you from taking the credit.

Re:Uh oh

[cayenne8]

"Why? Do you Americans have a secret admiration for the French and want to start speaking their language?"

No..I think the "Tar-jet" thing is really part of the joke. Often, fine dining or exotic things (like foreign cars) are thought of as a European style...so, the joke is, we're pronouncing a store not known for higher end products (bascially a step above walmart), with the 'higher class' sounding pronounciation of the name....

You appear not to be American, so, you probably didn't get the joke...hope that helps.

Re:Uh oh

[Anonymous Coward]

You think that's bad? What about the time I had tea with Mohammed, the prophet of the Islam faith?

Re:Uh oh

[Dun Malg]

Interesting story, but methinks your sarcasm detector is broken.

Nah, my sarcasm detector works. I just saw an opportunity to tell my "I Invented Monkeys Reenacting Gettysburg" story. Sadly, nobody but like three of my friends who were there believe the story, no matter who else I tell it to. It's the absolute goddamn truth though.

Re:Uh oh

[Ponzicar]

Artifacts of the Norman conquest?

Re:Uh oh

[BandwidthHog]

Back in the 80s our tradition on New Year’s Eve was for me and two friends to get up in front of all assembled and do a headbanging lip-synch of Bohemian Rhapsody.

Re:Uh oh

[fbg111]

Heh. For my fellow Yanks who don't have the priviledge of being constantly exposed to British slang, toss doesn't mean to throw something.

Re:Uh oh

[jb.hl.com]

I'll bet there'll be someone who says we have so many slang words for masturbation because we're a bunch of wankers...

Re:Uh oh

[Lord Balto]

What exactly did you expect from a company run by 80-year-old billionaires fronting for Chinese manufacturers? Neither side of this equation has any stake in free exchange of anything.

As for Target, all I can say is the atmosphere in their stores is so much more positive than Wal-Mart. The first time I walked into a Wal-Mart I honestly wondered to myself if I had somehow been transported to a post-nuclear America.

As for the guy who thought that Wal-Mart's employees are well treated, you may want to free your head from your behind before you walk into something.

Re:Uh oh

[jiawen]

Wish I had mod points to mod that up. I also wish there was a "yes, exactly" mod catergory.

Re:Uh oh

[Lord Balto]

The guy I know from work who shops there consistently does it for one reason and one reason only. It's cheap. This guy would buy groceries on eBay if he could. So the answer to the question is, anybody who puts price ahead of everything else.

Re:Uh oh

[yoyhed]

I think it came about because Target is like a classy version of Walmart.

Re:Uh oh

[Landshark17]

Walmart sells me toothpaste at a discount, it doesn't connect me to my friends

Walmart may not connect you to friends, but toothpatse does help when making friends.

Re:Uh oh

[Anonymous Coward]

"Tär-zhAy"

  Parents, this is why you don't do drugs when pregnant

Re:Uh oh

[aichpvee]

Anyone know of a real reason, other than locking out Linux users, that so many sites are switching their video players to flash player 8 or 9? Because it doesn't seem to have any advantages for that use over 7.5 to me.

Re:Uh oh

[digital101]

I did take a look ... and I agree. It is definitely a marketing / promotional site. Not a social networking site as Ad Age had boldly mentioned. In fact, it doesn't appear to be, or want to be, a social networking site. It looks more like a contest. And quite frankly, if I were a teenager I think I might just do it. The prizes seemed pretty outrageous. I think that everyone is trying to figure out how to capitalize on myspace. Some clearly do it better than others. For a brand like Wal-Mart, it is tougher given their image as oppose to Target for example. Overall, its that all, that bad. Given some of the other marketing / promo sites out there ... this one seems to be better than most.

I dunno...

[7Prime]

This is, after all, emulating a culture that coined the term "hopster" to mean anyone who's trying to be like them, they might actually take to it.

Re:I dunno...

[Anonymous Coward]

Actually, this is a hopster.

AdSpace

[BrynM]

The only thing is, MySpace didn't get created as a way to gather free footage for an ad campaign or to push apparel sales on kids. From the FAQ:

SO, WHAT CAN I DO HERE? There's tons of fun stuff to keep you entertained! Check out the latest fashion trends and make your own personalized page for a chance to win amazing prizes from Sony! If you're a little more ambitious, create your own video clip and send it in for a chance to have it turned into a TV commercial!

The whole "Wal-MartSpace" site seems to be geared around a contest to create a Wal-Mart ad. The rules of the contest state

Entrants are asked to discuss, illustrate, express their individuality (any way within the provisions of these rules and the guidelines posted on the Web Site), how it is reflected in their personal style, taste in fashions / accessories, interests, activities, etc., and to consider how Wal-Mart helps support their personal style and self-expression through the depth and breadth of products Wal-Mart offers.

And so much for it being a blog of sorts

Page and/or Page and Video must be completed and submitted at the same time in a single online session.

My personal favorite rule is the one that states

Without limitation and in its sole discretion, Sponsor may disqualify any Entry that it deems to:... Contain any beverages, tobacco, drug paraphernalia, firearms, or any depiction or representation thereof; or

Damn it, those kids better not have anyone drinking water in their submission! The four example videos shown would all be disqualified by the rules - most have trademarks or copyrights (music and clothing logos), one has someone with a beverage (gasp!) and one has partial nudity (shirtless boys). This is an ad campaign that is doomed to fail, IMHO. The bright side is that we will have some Wal-mart joke fodder for a while. Your kid, too, can have a Genuine Faux Blog(tm).

Re:AdSpace

[Kiffer]

Damn it, those kids better not have anyone drinking water in their submission!

Water is not a beverage.

Re:AdSpace

[BrynM]

Water is not a beverage.

Umm... Beverage: any liquid suitable for drinking

Re:AdSpace

[BrynM]

Also, you can just tell that when this guy above said "(shirtless boys)" he paused for 10 minutes to have one major furious wank. Don't wack your monkey too hard man.

Leave me out of your fantasies, please.

Re:AdSpace

[joshier]

Don't take it seriously.

Re:AdSpace

[Anonymous Coward]

Yes, but there are more definitions:
Google.com, Answers.com, Wiktionary.

Particularly "Any one of various liquids for drinking, usually excluding water"/"A liquid to be consumed, usually excluding water; a drink".

Re:AdSpace

[BrynM]

Yes, but there are more definitions: Google.com, Answers.com, Wiktionary. Particularly "Any one of various liquids for drinking, usually excluding water"/"A liquid to be consumed, usually excluding water; a drink".

Those aren't actual dictionaries. However, I did some looking and got mixed results. Rather than avoid a definiotion-off, I will agree that there are multiple meanings - some excluding water. Unfortunately that only makes the rule more vague. I really expected them to put an "alcoholic" before beverages since the rule otherwise dealt with illegal acts for most minors. You hopefuly agree that it seems odd.

Re:AdSpace

[Kiffer]

I'm sorry but water is not a beverage.

from Dictionary.com
Beverage
        Any one of various liquids for drinking, usually excluding water.

from the Compact Oxford English Dictionary
Beverage
  noun a drink other than water.

From OED.
Beverage
1. Drink, liquor for drinking; esp. a liquor which constitutes a common article of consumption.
2. A 'draught' which has been brewed, and must be drunk...

Re:AdSpace

[BrynM]

I'm sorry but water is not a beverage.

Kind of late to the pary there... I answered that an hour ago.

Re:AdSpace

[Kiffer]

Those aren't actual dictionaries. However, I did [cambridge.org] some [bartleby.com] looking [m-w.com] and got mixed results.

I only checked OED (Compact OED and complete), and Dictionary.com(lazy), and only got definitions that excluded water.
But you checked lots more(good) and got conflicting results(oh oh) ... and then picked the one that agreed with you and went with that...(bad)
In my mind a beverage has to be brewed or in someway created...
Water is by not a beverage... I'm sticking with the OED on this.
IMHO, Milk, Juices and water are not beverages.

Re:AdSpace

[Anonymous Coward]

Please, someone tell me they've successfully hacked the Wal-Mart servers and put up goatse as the login page (viewable at http://goatse.fr./ Then hold Wal-Mart responsible for it: if they're going to put up an Internet service with blatant censorship, they're surrendering all common carrier protections for it.

Re:AdSpace

[kjart]

The only thing is, MySpace didn't get created as a way to gather free footage for an ad campaign or to push apparel sales on kids.

Is it just me, or is that what this site already is? I actually looked at one of the 'hubsters' (shudder) and it seemed completely 100% staged. Are there any real 'kids' on this site? Can you even make your own site/have it listed there at all? I would tend to agree with the AC above - I actually think Myspace is better (uh oh, end of the world).

Re:AdSpace

[nelsonal]

I guess you, Mark, and I are the ones who know that "whiskey is for drinking and water is for fighting over".

Re:AdSpace

[Anonymous Coward]

what the fuck? admins, ban this twat

Bonus points for misspelled title

[Anonymous Coward]

Props go to ScuttleMonkey for how hard he trys to edit summaries he receives! I thought that one was a bit obvious, honestly.

Actually..

[vix86]

Oh, and it calls users 'hubsters' -- a twist on hipsters

Actually I don't think of "hip" when I hear that name. If you ask me they got the name from "hub" as in a center point for many connections and a way for directing connections out in other directions. Which makes sense for a social networking site, but the fact that Wal-Mart isn't allowing users to contact each other pretty much just means theres no "outgoing" really. How is this social networking again, if you can't talk to other people?

Re:Actually..

[rhinocero]

Hub, maybe, they got as a social networking thing, but there's no way they didn't intend for hubsters to reference hipsters, and they probably took that into consideration when choosing that name too.

Re:Actually..

[BrynM]

How is this social networking again, if you can't talk to other people?

The Hot Dog on a Stick analogy can be applied to this to help explain how it can be according to marketing/corporate culture. For those afraid of a link with that title, the analogy can be summed up thusly: Consumer finds something compelling - a girl making lemonade at Hot Dog on a Stick (which involves bouncing and phallac instruments and a funny hat). Corporate marketing grabs some elements of that experience, making lemonade and silly hats, and decides that it's the same thing if they did it with a fat, hairy guy and one of those table top juicers. The marketing drones have selected elements, but the wrong ones and can't understand why it's not the same level of experience. In the Wal-Mart example, they have chosen a couple of elements (posting your own stuff, online, teenagers) and some how decided it's the same experience. In both examples the marketers only betray their lack of understanding and over-eagerness to "capture" the audience. I have seen this kind of misunderstanding by sales^^^^^marketing departments in ad meetings myself.

Re:Actually..

[Chris Graham]

I think of a combination of 'hubbies' (husbands) and 'dumpsters'. Sounds like a community for grave-diggers.

Re:Actually..

[Dred_furst]

the word 'hobo' comes to mind. also Hubnester Inferno anyone? seems like the site is likely to crash and burn just like in the song... looks bad too.

Re:Actually..

[neersign]

No, I really think they spun it off "hipster". The reason is that Elaine, on Seinfeld called Kramer a "Hipster-Dufus". The Wal-Mart exec's are huge Seinfeld fans, and in their board meeting, some one joked that anyone who used the site would have to be a "hipster-dufus".

ok, maybe your explanation is better.

Re:Actually..

[Anonymous Coward]

Or maybe it's a play off of BOTH terms, just that they didn't point out the relation to the NAME OF THE WEBSITE because it was SO BLINDLY OBVIOUS.

Check, check and check...

[darnok]

Screened content? Check
Parents notified? Check
Oooh, no email? Check

Yep, hits all my buttons.

Unfortunately, I'm a parent, with teenagers. I'd have as much success leading them to this site as I have getting them to tidy their rooms, speak respectfully to their elders and cook dinner occasionally.

Re:Check, check and check...

[Madcowz]

And you have a small penis.

Re:Check, check and check...

[TubeSteak]

My Hub
http://schoolyourway.walmart.com/index.php/Hubster Page/46700342

The e-mail:

From: schoolyourwayparentalconsent@walmart.com
Subject: Your child has registered at The HUB by Wal-Mart.

Your child has completed online registration and created a page at The HUB, Wal-Mart's "School Your Way" contest website.

If you would like to register at The HUB and view your child's page submission, you may do so by clicking the link below:

http://schoolyourway.walmart.com/index.php/user/do b?childId=

If you do not wish to have his/her submission included in the Hub, please reply to this email on or before August 27, 2006. Your kid's page will be removed from the Hub and the Contest promptly following our receipt of your email.
Thank you!

- The Wal-Mart Back-to-School Team

Please only reply to this e-mail if requesting your child's page be removed from the Hub.

Email Marketing, Walmart.com, 7000 Marina Blvd., Brisbane, CA 94005 ? 2006 Wal-Mart.com USA, LLC. All rights reserved.

What a joke.
They call that screening?
It's an opt-out e-mail!!!

They have to know that's a stupid idea.
I could have sent that confirmation e-mail anywhere.

Re:Check, check and check...

[goatan]

Actually that was something going through my head, how do walmart confiorm that it is a parent replying and not the child or a friend?

Re:Check, check and check...

[pimpimpim]

I wonder which poor souls will have to screen all that content. I guess you'll get a "dangerous work" bonus for doing that, in case you might not be able to survive without severe brain damage.

Grammar Nazi...

[flynns]

TRIES. T-R-I-E-S. The only acceptable time for "trys" is when you're on the way to "tryst". I've never really gotten heated about grammar in articles, but it's IN BOLD PRINT!! C'mon!
 
/late
//drunk
///please don't hurt my karma

Re:Grammar Nazi...

[Anonymous Coward]

"trys" is not bad grammer its bad speling

Re:Grammar Nazi...

[Anonymous Coward]

You missed the other error: "the trying-way-to-hard dept."

Unless, of course, it's about ways to get to 'hard', and this is a trying one...

Re:Grammar Nazi...

[tumbleweedsi]

First off, it is spelling rather than grammar. Secondly, 'trys' is a perfectly acceptable word in another context. The England rugby team often scores more trys than the opposition. Are you by any chance an american? If so, and I am not trolling, please refrain from commenting on a language you do not understand.

Re:Grammar Nazi...

[deathy_epl ccs]

Nitpick all you like, he was right about one thing... the use of the word "trys" in the headline was poor English.

Re:Grammar Nazi...

[Anonymous Coward]

Good show, chap! Way to spank those ruddy Yanks! Eh, wot.

Now be a good fellow, retire to the loo, and pull that rather large pole from your arse.

Re:Grammar Nazi...

[xoran99]

The only acceptable time for "trys" is when you're on the way to "tryst".

First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three. No more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out.

Re:Grammar Nazi...

[Anonymous Coward]

Like you would know anything about grammar in the first place...

Re:Grammar Nazi...

[Adhemar82]

What does a Monty Python quote have to do with a tryst?

Re:Grammar Nazi...

[Anonymous Coward]

I'm pretty sure the plural of try is tries, too.

Not just pretty sure, in fact, absolutely positive.

So why don't you STFU you ignorant bastard.

Re:Grammar Nazi...

[OldManAndTheC]

The only acceptable time for "trys" is when you're on the way to "tryst"

Very nice turn of phrase! I wonder, how many "trys" does it take to make a "tryst"? It never seems to work for me, no matter how many "trys" :(

"Trys" does lead to one other seldom-used word: trysexual. From Wikipedia:

Trisexual (sometimes trysexual) is either an extension of, or a pun on bisexual. In its more serious usage, it indicates an interest in transgender persons in addition to cissexual men and women. In its more humorous usage, it refers to someone who will try any sexual experience.

Of course, we must take this definition with a grain of salt, given its source. Especially in light of the Wikipedia article for cisgender, which reads in part:

The first recorded Usenet post of cisgender was in the alt.transgendered usenet group in 1994 by Dana Leland Defosse. In April of 1996, Carl Buijs, a transsexual man from the Netherlands said in a usenet posting "As for the origin; I just made it up".

So...not really a word then, unless you are a transgendered grammar Nazi. Never mind, then ...

Re:Grammar Nazi...

[slittle]

////not fark
/////mmkay?

Re:Grammar Nazi...

[Ohreally_factor]

Hey Flynns, I'm sending you an email invite for the hub at walmart. I am recommending that we use underages, and use a different email addy for your parents. I don't know about you, but I can still get in trouble with my dad for doing immature stuff, even though I'm forty.

Re:Grammar Nazi...

[Halo1]

You missed the dept:

from the trying-way-to-hard dept

Re:Grammar Nazi...

[asylumx]

Wow, I really thought I'd be the only one on the planet to say something. Funny how even media editors can't figure out how to spell.

Re:Grammar Nazi...

[Anonymous Coward]

"Trys" may well be a word in Welsh but it sure is not in English. Try reading sometimes instead of just listening to the matches on the radio.

Re:Grammar Nazi...

[dzfoo]

Perhaps they meant trying-way-to-be-hard or trying-way-to-make-it-hard?

        -dZ.

Re:Grammar Nazi...

[Anonymous Coward]

Please kill yourself....NOW.

Fucking limeys. We understand English fine.

I can't believe you guys are still sore that we kicked your ass. It's been 230 years. Get over it already.

Love,
America

Re:Grammar Nazi...

[calculadoru]

only on slashdot a post that teaches people how to spell (and a painfully obvious word at that) can be modded 'informative'. oh well.

Re:Grammar Nazi...

[Aidski]

Your karma was saved at "drunk"

Re:Grammar Nazi...

[Psychotext]

Does it still hurt that you needed French help to do it?

Re:Grammar Nazi...

[Mr. Underbridge]

First off, it is spelling rather than grammar. Secondly, 'trys' is a perfectly acceptable word in another context. The England rugby team often scores more trys than the opposition. Are you by any chance an american? If so, and I am not trolling, please refrain from commenting on a language you do not understand.

1) 'Trys' in that context was a word made up by the sporting community. It does not make it proper English in other contexts (as you point out, actually). Additionally, 'Trys' in that context is a plural noun rather than a verb tense, as was being used in the article. Please refrain from commenting on language, in general, since you seem not to grasp the concept.

Re:Grammar Nazi...

[zalle]

/could
//you
///please
////leave
/////the
//////slashes
///////on
////////fark?
Apparently I have too few characters per line. Hope this helps.

Re:Grammar Nazi...

[tumbleweedsi]

I admit I did not make it clear enough for you fools to understand. The comment I was responding to was "The only acceptable time for "trys" is when you're on the way to "tryst"." which is not true because we already agree that the word 'trys' is acceptable as a plural noun when used in rugby. The poor illiterate sod who said that the plural noun is also 'tries' is totally wrong.

Thank you all for the poorly constructed posts and also well done to the person who thought that the parent to this post was somehow a karma modifier! Believe all you like, you are still wrong.

Re:Grammar Nazi...

[Mr. Underbridge]

which is not true because we already agree that the word 'trys' is acceptable as a plural noun when used in rugby.

No one f*ing cares about rugby. I don't think the greater language community accepts their misspellings as proper English. I think it's well-recognized that rugby fans move their lips when they read, assuming they can.

Re:Grammar Nazi...

[Don_dumb]

I'm pretty sure the plural of try is tries, too.
have a look at this score from the RFU website no less.http://www.rfu.com/index.cfm/fuseaction/RFUHo me.News_Detail/StoryID/12490

I would assume that they are the authority on these matters, if not the two teams playing should be.

Re:Grammar Nazi...

[tumbleweedsi]

OK, go back to your little box now flame boy. Any grown ups around here to mod this turkey?

Re:Grammar Nazi...

[Anonymous Coward]

Wow. Nice catch.
...and only an hour after someone else pointed it out.

Re:Grammar Nazi...

[Anonymous Coward]

First off, it is spelling rather than grammar. Secondly, 'trys' is a perfectly acceptable word in another context. The England rugby team often scores more trys than the opposition. Are you by any chance an american? If so, and I am not trolling, please refrain from commenting on a language you do not understand.

Not true, according to the OED, anyway. Check out the plural in the example from 1893 ...

try, n.

4 b. Rugby Football. The right of attempting to kick a goal, obtained by carrying the ball behind the goal-line and touching it on the ground. Cf. touch-down 1845 Rules Footb. Rugby School 5 Try at goal... The ball when punted must be within, when caught without, the line of goal. 1880 Times 12 Nov. 4/5 The efforts of a worsted side..to gain the goal or the 'try' which is required to make the match a tie. 1893 Ibid. 18 Dec. 10/3 The North were victors by two goals and two tries to three tries.

YMMV

Re:Grammar Nazi...

[Sax Maniac]

I don't know what's worse, the fact they spelled it wrong, or that the original title is spelled correctly. They cut and pasted the title, yet still managed to insert a new spelling error anyway!

Re:Grammar Nazi...

[Anonymous Coward]

Interpreted differently, this isn't in fact far from 'proper' English.

Walmart Trys to Emulate MySpace

This means that the trys of Walmart (it should probably be "Walmart's Trys", but the absence of the 's in this style is extremely common) are going to emulate MySpace in some way. Most are probably unaware that both Walmart and MySpace have rugby teams. Walmart is struggling, often losing to such sides as Target in recent times, and seeing MySpace's crowds number in the millions (chiefly a mixture of teenagers and middle-aged ephebophiles), they decided to start using their style of play.

Simple!

Re:Grammar Nazi...

[Anonymous Coward]

The only acceptable time for "trys" is when you're on the way to "tryst".

Wrong.

$ grep trys /usr/share/dict/words
countryside
tryst

Re:Grammar Nazi...

[Anonymous Coward]

The plural noun of "try," in general English, is "tries." For example, "On my fourth try, I scored higher than any of my previous tries."

Lime

Re:Grammar Nazi...

[Anonymous Coward]

My grammer died in 2003 and I miss her baddlie, you intensitive clod! And she was NOT a Nazzi!

Re:Grammar Nazi...

[OakDragon]

They cut and pasted the title, yet still managed to insert a new spelling error anyway!

It's a new Firefox extension.

Re:Grammar Nazi...

[Anonymous Coward]

Go back to your fucking bangers and crumpets and tea. Or even better.....DIE.

Re:Grammar Nazi...

[mph]

They cut and pasted the title, yet still managed to insert a new spelling error anyway!

Well, the editors have to do something to earn their keep.

Re:Grammar Nazi...

[Anonymous Coward]

google.com

www.rfu.com trys - 146 results

www.rfu.com tries - 35,100 results

I think even allowing for the use of tries as a verb, we can discount the 'trys' as plural as a nonsense of bad spelling from some ill-trained journalists.

EAT MY GOALS^H^H^H^HTRIES!!!!!!1!!!1eleven

Re:Grammar Nazi...

[Anonymous Coward]

Apologies for the harshness of my reply (I seem to have thought you were opposing my pov).

I was just utterly incandescent with rage at the op's insistence that trys was good english.

Re:Grammar Nazi...

[gardyloo]

What does a Monty Python quote have to do with a tryst?

    Spankings! Spankings for everybody! And then...

Re:Grammar Nazi...

[Dun Malg]

'trys' is a perfectly acceptable word in another context. The England rugby team often scores more trys than the opposition

No, the plural of the noun "try" is still "tries". Even if you've seen a sports columnist misspell it "trys", it's still wrong. Avid sport enthusiasts are often less than fully literate, and sports writers are surprisingly no exception. I'm sure this says something about the classic eternal struggle of "dumb jocks vs. clumsy nerds", but I leave it as an exercise to the reader to determine what.

Re:Grammar Nazi...

[Don853]

If you're not trolling, then you're a pedantic asshat, and you're wrong anyway.

Re:Grammar Nazi...

[Dun Malg]

The poor illiterate sod who said that the plural noun is also 'tries' is totally wrong.

You're an idiot. I challenge you to find an actual language reference (like a dictionary, rather than a rugby rulebook) that lists "trys" as the proper pural vs "tries".

Re:Grammar Nazi...

[Don_dumb]

I assume you were the AC who wrote 'Eat my goals', if so, no offence taken.

Re:Grammar Nazi...

[flynns]

In spite of the evil bastard who moderated you Offtopic, -I- laughed. :)

Re:Grammar Nazi...

[flynns]

/never. //slashies ///are ////irrespective ///of //origin. /slashie love for slashdottenkinder.

I'm fairly certain that I, too, have too few characters per line.

Re:Grammar Nazi...

[OldManAndTheC]

Thanks. It was offtopic, but I'm glad that at least one enlightened soul found it to be funny.

Why Walmart? WHY?

[moz25]

A much better idea would have been to create a subsidiary and do it through them. The association with a company that works on a "mass" basis somewhat works against the desire to "express one's individuality".

Actually, if I did want to express my individuality (which I don't, because I don't have low self-esteem), I would prefer to make my own site. That's a lot more individualistic than being part of a large mass of people on a big site.

Re:Why Walmart? WHY?

[Vo0k]

Actually, if I did want to express my individuality (which I don't, because I don't have low self-esteem), I would prefer to make my own site.

There are two other non-exclusive factors besides low self-esteem.

If you're (too stupid to learn proper HTML and make webpages, or too lazy to bother) and (have low self-esteem) you go for sites like MySpace. Individualism doesn't trump stupidity nor laziness.

Re:Why Walmart? WHY?

[shystershep]

Individuality? What are you talking about? Everyone knows that the way to express your individuality is to ape exactly what everyone else is doing to express their 'individuality.'

That's the main reason this will fail so horribly: it has zero chance of attracting the core of 'cool' kids that the remeainder of the herd will want to emulate.

I think I just threw-up a bit

[Aqua OS X]

If that site were any more out of touch it would download via Senator Ted Stevens' tube based internet.

I think Walmart's been taking marketing advise from Steven Colbert:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6PbJJUy1KD8

Re:I think I just threw-up a bit

[elrous0]

I picture this site being designed by an aging baby-boomer or generation-xer, repeating to himself over-and-over, "I'm still cool. I'm still cool."

-Eric

kids on frontpage videos

[Anonymous Coward]

...oh wow. talk about utterly mindless "fake" reality clips. every one of those things is just designed to have you Buy More Stuff (tm). I particularly liked the completely fake skater boi telling you "not to conform", and the supposed teenage singer with the voice like a chipmunk.

Please tell me that's not what school is really like in America.

Re:kids on frontpage videos

[Anonymous Coward]

That is exactly what school is really like in America.

Sorry.

Re:Non-news

[Anonymous Coward]

Redundant, like Troll, is still a -1. :P You have little to gain via that defense sir.

Already hashed out by the hubsters @ digg

[RLiegh]

Of course, the level of discourse was much less sophisticated than /.; hell, no one made so much as one Soviet Russia joke!

Re:Already hashed out by the hubsters @ digg

[gbobeck]

no one made so much as one Soviet Russia joke!

Fine... here you go:

In America, You make a joke at the expense of Slashdot.
In Soviet Russia, Slashdot make a joke at the expense of you.

I'm still waiting for a new relavant Chuck Norris fact or an "All your base" tie in for this article.

Dear Jeebus

[identity0]

Oh.... My... Gawd....

I have finally seen it: The Worst Idea On The Internet.

I always thought it would come from Bush, Ballmer, or Bin Laden, but congratulations, Wal-Mart, you've won! Yes, because we all know that teens are clamoring to be associated with that haven of cool, the Wal-Mart Supercenter! They'll hang out all day in chat rooms monitored by a giant smiley face that threatens to "Roll back trolls"! They want clever, yet unoffensive nicknames like 'The gr33tr' and 'mop_guy_99'! They'll argue all day over whether they should get the 80-pack of Charmin or the 120-pack of generic brand toilet paper!

What teen wouldn't mind saying in the halls of their school, "I'll see ya on The HUB, dude!" "ya, see ya later, HUBSTER"?! (tragically these two kids were beaten to death with Abercrombie & Fitch merchandise a few moments later)

Seriously, I can imagine the Gap or Abercrombie, maybe even Starbucks doing this, but.... Wal-mart?!?!

I can only imagine that the kind of teen that would use Wal-mart for a social networking service are the ones who go there barefoot and pregnant because they thought Saran Wrap was a contraceptive. That and the guys who argue over Coors Lite vs. Miller Lite.

May Cthulu help us all.

Re:Dear Jeebus

[Deluge]

I always thought it would come from Bush, Ballmer, or Bin Laden

In a way, it does. The catastrophe of Bush becoming president would strongly suggest to the marketing gurus at Walmart that there is indeed a (large, terrifyingly large) group of extremely ignorant, unthinking, mentally-deficient slobs who just might suffer from enough brain damage to actually respond positively to the Hub idea.

Ballmer is the man currently responsible for carrying on the legacy of one Mr. Gates, a man responsible for the dumbing down of computers to the point where people to whom MySpace, or indeed The Hub, seems like a good idea are able to invade the once pristine realm of cyberspace.

And Bin Laden's biggest contribution to the US's downward spiral has, of course, been to rally popular support for Bush so he got to preside over a further four years of America's decline, him and his administration seemingly striving towards the ultimate goal of having a population of 300 million people who chant in unison "Durrrr... terrorism... eeevil... kill" as Walmart looks on in anticipation of profit profit profit from people with brains so terminally softened by government propaganda and nationalistic stupidity that they're very much open to the suggestion that the Hub is the place to be.

Re:Dear Jeebus

[cascadingstylesheet]

>They'll hang out all day in chat rooms monitored by a giant
>smiley face that threatens to "Roll back trolls"!

OK, now that *would* actually rock ...

Re:Dear Jeebus

[killjoe]

"Yes, because we all know that teens are clamoring to be associated with that haven of cool, the Wal-Mart Supercenter! "

Don't laugh. They probably are in bumfuck Oklahoma. You have to remember that walmart is the center of town for most of small town america. That and the dairy queen (don't get me started on dairy queen). In bumfuck Oklahoma all there is to do is to drink, fuck, and hang out at walmart.

Re:Dear Jeebus

[cyclomedia]

this has left me wandering if you really can buy 120 packs of toilet roll across the pond. We buy em in 12s over in limeyland.

Re:Dear Jeebus

[CastrTroy]

I guess it's like that in the states, but in Canada there's only walmart in the cities. The again, maybe in Canada we have a different idea of "small town". When I hear "small town" I think under 15,000 people, maybe up to 20,000 people. I don't think i've ever seen a walmart in a town that size. You usually don't see a walmart in any town with less than 70,000 people. That is definitely not small town.

Re:Dear Jeebus

[PuddyT]

Eh, wrong. Sorry, you must be from Ontario, maybe you should do a bit more travelling .. I suggest east to the maritimes where we have very small populations in our cities. Take New Brunswick for instance, hardly a city that qualified for you 70,000 but we have one and sometimes two Walmart's per city. Halifax is likely the only city with a large population (around 300,000 I believe).

Re:Dear Jeebus

[BenjyD]

American supermarkets are disturbing places that make us Europeans feel like they've wandered into a world of giants. Tubs of ice cream the size of bathtubs, slabs of cheese bigger than my fridge.

Re:Dear Jeebus

[goatan]

this has left me wandering if you really can buy 120 packs of toilet roll across the pond. We buy em in 12s over in limeyland.

Actually you can get packs that big (or pretty close) here from cash and carries like Makro. Wal-Mart's in America are more like a half way house between that and a supermarket anyway, watch ASDA stores slowly become like that as well. I almost never shop in ASDA since they got taken over by Wal-Mart as the service and food quality dropped dramatically after they bought it.

Re:Dear Jeebus

[multipartmixed]

Moncton has 140,000 people, greater Fredericton has 82,000, Halifax has 380,000.

The biggest WalMart out there is in Lower Sackville IIRC, not exactly population central, but it's just down the road from Halifax and Dartmouth, and I'm sure there's a bunch of stuff the other way. Besides which, it has to compete with a monster Canadian Tire. Might also be the biggest one out that way.

Re:Dear Jeebus

[elrous0]

Coors Lite vs. Miller Lite

Well, laddy-da! Too good to drink Pabst Blue Ribbon, there professor?? Well, round these parts we don't drink fancy imports like "Miller Lite." GET THE HELL OUT OF MY TRAILER!!

-Eric

Re:Dear Jeebus

[elrous0]

would strongly suggest to the marketing gurus at Walmart that there is indeed a (large, terrifyingly large) group of extremely ignorant, unthinking, mentally-deficient slobs who just might suffer from enough brain damage to actually respond positively to the Hub idea.

Don't believe it? Walk into almost any Protestant church in the midwest or south on a Sunday morning. For that matter, walk into any trailer park. Or, have a 5-minute conversation with anyone working behind the counter at any tourist shop between L.A. and Vegas. Or drive into Jersey and strike up a conversation with the first male you see wearing a gold necklace.

Go ahead and mod me down. You still know it's true!

-Eric

Re:Dear Jeebus

[Cutting_Crew]

your supermarkets dont have big tubs of ice cream and big slabs of cheese? what do you have then? what happens when a family of 4 or 5 needs a big something and they have to buy 10 little something to equal what one big something would be and cost less?

Re:Dear Jeebus

[sesshomaru]

There was a game like that for Coleco vision... why it seems like last year, doesn't it? Where does the time go?

Re:Dear Jeebus

[sesshomaru]

More information Frenzy (video game)

Frenzy followed the basic paradigm set by Berzerk: you are in a maze full of hostile robots, who are shooting at you. The goal of the game is to survive as long as possible and score points by killing robots and travelling from room to room. The game has no end other than the player losing all of his or her lives.

You have a gun, so you can shoot back, and the robots are fortunately not that bright, and so can often be tricked into shooting each other. If you linger too long in a room, however, a bouncing smiley face, "Evil Otto", appears, and relentlessly chases you. Evil Otto will happily destroy any robots in his way, and can move through walls.

Wow, how prescient, that's exactly what my experience shopping at Walmart has always been like! Of course, maybe it's different during the day, I only go when I have the "munchies" at like 3 AM.

Re:Dear Jeebus

[BenjyD]

While I'm sure you can find places that do similar sizes to the American style supermarkets, a normal supermarket over here has nothing like the sizes I saw in the States. It's probably because average serving size and average family size are lower over here. An average meal in an American restaurant was about twice what I would normally eat, for example.

Re:Dear Jeebus

[5KVGhost]

Must be us fat ol' Americans gorging ourselves on ice cream and cheese again. Sometimes we just buy a frozen cow to save time. :)

Actually, it's probably because many American families have more kids than their European counterparts. Or they're like me and my wife. Just the two of us, but we buy some things in bulk sizes because it's cheaper. We divvy up the large portions at home into convenient two-person sizes, freeze everything we don't need right away, and then prepare it at our leisure. The store saves on wasteful packaging, and we save money.

This also means that we go to the supermarket once every two weeks, because we have better ways to spend our time (that's particularly important in more rural parts of America, where the nearest supermarket with a nice selection may be a long drive from home; Europeans sometimes don't intuitively grasp how much larger and less densely populated the US is, compared to their own countries.)

Re:Dear Jeebus

[Sax Maniac]

I don't think it has very much to do with the size of portions on the table. Maybe our portions are bigger but not THAT much. Sorry, nobody gives their kid a two-pound block of cheese with lunch, even here in the land of pigs and sloth.

Supermarkets do sell smaller sizes of things, but they are more expensive. For example, if I buy baby formula in small cans in the grocery store, it might be $22. At the local BJs (warehouse store), I can get a paint-can sized bucket that's more than twice the size for $20. So, less than half-price.

Now, my baby didn't drink any more formula than a European baby, so it's not consumption that's driving me to buy the bigger bucket. Price is obviously the big factor. But also is convenience: why buy the same thing every week, when I can buy a big bucket once a month? I have space to store it, why not use it? It's less trips to the store. (After all, we all are obese and driving 6-ton SUVs, so we should drive less, right?)

So, if I feel like paying twice as much for everything I could buy smaller sizes. For things that are nonperishable, that's just stupid. That's why you don't see enormous packs of lettuce.

An average meal in an American restaurant was about twice what I would normally eat, for example.

That's true, but that's only because Americans are usually obsessed with "good value" and a huge portion can make that seem the case. I just order less when we go out. Sometimes my wife and I will split a dinner if we know the portions are ridiculous.

But you can't blame just Americans. Compare portion sizes in Germany versus Italy and you'll see that what I mean. Germans have big one-course dinners, Italians have lots of small courses. If you order a multi-course dinner in Germany, you'll never finish.

Re:Dear Jeebus

[BenjyD]

Hey, I'm not blaming anyone - I'm probably going to move to the States in a year or two. I agree, I think it's a combination of distance to the supermarket, available storage space (the average American fridge wouldn't even fit in my kitchen), shopping habits (I shop two or three times a week) and a desire for 'value'.

I've also noticed that food in the US lasts longer - maybe they use more preservatives or something?

Re:Dear Jeebus

[wiredlogic]

This is more a reflection of Europeans having smaller cars and, in many countries, a large proportion of bicycle shoppers. Bag space is at a premium in both cases so smaller packaging is more desirable.

Re:Dear Jeebus

[tacokill]

Have you seen the people? It makes sense once you do...

Re:Dear Jeebus

[LanMan04]

Americans tend to go grocery shopping a lot less frequently than their European counterparts.

Instead of picking up a few items every day at the corner store that's 100 feet from their flat, Americans shop weekly, or even bi-weekly, and buy and store much large quantaties of food as a result. Of course, that means more preservatives and processed food, but that's another observation entirely.

Re:Dear Jeebus

[Sax Maniac]

Preservatives maybe, but also irradiation, and probably more genetically modified (GM) food. Americans don't seem to care very much the latter. I hear some fury over it in Europe (love the BBC) but it just doesn't register here.

Re:Dear Jeebus

[MKalus]

That reminds me of a comment made in "Who killed the Electric Car?" when a commentator was saying it failed because American consumers think when it comes to "conserve" that: "Oh you want us to live in a cold house and drive little cars, you know, live like Europeans."

That caused an outburst of laughter in the cinema (Vancouver, BC, Canada, you know, the place further north with cold winters and lots of Europeans).

This also means that we go to the supermarket once every two weeks, because we have better ways to spend our time (that's particularly important in more rural parts of America, where the nearest supermarket with a nice selection may be a long drive from home; Europeans sometimes don't intuitively grasp how much larger and less densely populated the US is, compared to their own countries.)

Canada is even less densly populated, but in both countries a lot of this is also "self inflicted" with suburban sprawl. Reality is that the only way you can keep food around for that long is by basically have everything frozen or conserved in one way or the other. The European "Model" (in fact, the model in most of the world) is that people buy fresh ingridients and they just don't last that long.

I personally get suspicious when a tomatoe I bought and let sit on the counter was still nice 2 weeks later..... Wonder what they did to the poor tomatoe.

Re:Dear Jeebus

[MKalus]

Of course, that means more preservatives and processed food, but that's another observation entirely.

The good news: With so many preservatives in you, you will probably continue to live after you've expired and nobody will know any better.

Re:Dear Jeebus

[Anonymous Coward]

I think you mean 'cheese'.

Re:Dear Jeebus

[Anonymous Coward]

> I personally get suspicious when a tomatoe I bought and let sit
> on the counter was still nice 2 weeks later.....
> Wonder what they did to the poor tomatoe.

Don't you people have gardens? You have wierd observations on produce.
I've had organic tomato's sitting on my windowsil for months.

Re:Dear Jeebus

[bungo]

And here's an oldie, but a goody....

What's the difference between a Belgian and an American?

An American showers every day and goes shopping once a week.

(My wife is Belgian, and she agrees that it's funny and true.)

Words fail

[quokkapox]

I can't believe how naive these failed-meme-launching marketing execs keep proving themselves to be.

There are 95 million myspace users and every week another million sign up. There aren't enough additional people in the Internet-using public in america to even come close to competing with myspace. They'd be lucky to pick up a couple hundred thousand users. And why would you use this instead of myspace?

This isn't intended to compete with myspace. It's just another marketing disaster.

"You've just become a member of one of the coolest cliques on the net. Be sure to spam your friends...

Wait for the goatse... Meanwhile I'll be uploading random copyright infringing content via tor... This must be good for something.

Re:Words fail

[Deluge]

You know, I was going to give the teenage population of the US a bit of credit and assume that no-one aside from a few drooling idiots would sign up. I therefore find it absolutely tragic that anyone would be so jaded as to expect the drooling idiots to be in the hundreds of thousands instead of, maybe, dozens.

Re:Words fail

[Ohreally_factor]

Hey quokkapox, I'm sending you an email invite for the hub at walmart. I am recommending that we use underages, and use a different email addy for your parents. I don't know about you, but I can still get in trouble with my dad for doing immature stuff, even though I'm forty.

Re:Words fail

[Chris Graham]

I agree it's a stupid idea, but don't underestimate what large companies can 'leverage'. All walmart needs to do is to promote it in their stores and create some kind of incentive for people to register to it and use it (such as store discounts); then they can build on that attention by providing a quality system (which of course, they're failing at right now).

Re:Words fail

[quokkapox]

Sorry, I don't get the above. Please explain...

MySpace

[pubjames]

I've looked at MySpace but I just don't get it. It just full of crap. Perhaps I'm too old.

Can anyone point out a page that's actually worth looking at?

Re:MySpace

[hclyff]

Perhaps I'm too old.

Yes, definitely. If, by old, you mean born before 1993.

Re:MySpace

[BenjyD]

Appears to be a giant dating site for people who think quoting 'meaningful' song lyrics on their web page makes them deep.

Re:MySpace

[gbobeck]

It just full of crap. ...
Can anyone point out a page that's actually worth looking at?

Here is a Myspace page kinda sorta maybe worth looking at... The Terms of Service Page. After that, it is all down hill.

Not wanting to sound like a troll, but I would describe MySpace as being something similar to the AOL effect (the legendary propensity of America Online users to utter contentless postings) plus Geocities (free websites for the masses) being applied to blogs. Sure, it gives a lot of people the means to say something on the net, but unfortunately the noise to signal ratio is very high.

Re:MySpace

[Anonymous Coward]

www.myspace.com/blackstonecherry

Re:MySpace

[Anonymous Coward]

I've looked at MySpace but I just don't get it. It just full of crap. Perhaps I'm too old.

Can you think of anything that is popular with kids, that is not crap?

OK, call me a cynic and point out that I'm definitely too old. I went through high school back in the days when they taught kids how to read, write coherently, reason, and do math (to a level that nowadays is second-year college). Pre-school kids are probably pretty much the same as they always were, but the public school system seems to be largely a waste of their time.

Re:MySpace

[Anonymous Coward]

Can anyone point out a page that's actually worth looking at?

I think the problem is you are looking at Myspace pages as a random passerby. I use my page to communicate to people who have an interest in what is going on in my life (friends, family, former classmates). Randomly going around Myspace is like looking into random people's diaries. Maybe you'll get a chuckle, but more often you'll be bored and confused.

Re:MySpace

[nyctopterus]

d33p

Re:MySpace

[Kaptain Kruton]

Can anyone point out a page that's actually worth looking at?

No.

Re:MySpace

[neoform]

It's simple, same syndrome as 'Windows'.

"Everyone else is using it."

Re:MySpace

[Cyberhawk]

Subtract 15 from your age, and you may find out how old you are for MySpace.
Subtract 82 from your IQ score, and you may find out how smart your are for said website.

Hope it helps...

Re:MySpace

[Anonymous Coward]

o/~ I am Calling Calling now, Spirits rise and falling
Soboj ostat'sya dol'she...
Calling Calling, in the depth of longing
Soboj ostat'sya dol'she... o/~

Re:MySpace

[Anonymous Coward]

what, can't stand the spam?
Or crazy people?

It is a lot like those new movies, they are dumb, but fun to watch anyway.

Re:MySpace

[Absentminded-Artist]

Sure! Here's one. But most are a parent's nightmare like this or a designer's nightmare like this. Most MySpace user pages are pretty scary, but the band pages, the original reason for being for MySpace, are usually well designed.

Re:MySpace

[Jtheletter]

Yes, definitely. If, by old, you mean born before 1993.

Wouldn't that mean that the only people considered young and hip enough to 'get' myspace would be too young to signup for it based on their terms of service age restriction? ;)

Re:MySpace

[crabpeople]

"Can anyone point out a page that's actually worth looking at?"

http://www.sexylogs.com/

Theres the one myspace/youtube aggregate that is worth looking at.
enjoy! :) NSFW!!

Re:MySpace

[glsunder]

Or if you find black text over a dark repeating photo hard to read...
Or if you think putting 12 autoplaying music videos on one page isn't absolutely amazing!!!!
Of if you find it odd that everyone seems to know "Tom"...
Or if you think using iz for is iz lamez...
Or if you stopped us Comic Sans a long time ago...
Or if you think the "What X are you?" quizes got old years ago...
Or maybe you've just been "on the net" for more than 3 years now.

About the song...

[Baloo Ursidae]

Walmart Trys to Emulate MySpace

Since when is Wal*Mart good for getting laid?

Re:About the song...

[Anonymous Coward]

I think a better question is, what are the chances that a furry freak like you will _ever_ get laid?

Re:About the song...

[Don_dumb]

Since when is Wal*Mart good for getting laid?

Do they sell beer?

Re:About the song...

[Baloo Ursidae]

Do they sell beer?

No. The closest they get is mass-market pisswater like PBR, Budweiser, Miller, etc.

You Speek the truth

[JimXugle]

Because there are better things to be doing... like posting on slashdot or talking with complete strangers online... or posting on slashdot to complete strangers.

-*generic Teenager*

P.S. My parents can't find me online. :-P Can you find your kids?
P.S. Give them $40 and say "Orde--- I meen... cook some dinner!"

Re:You Speek the truth

[jawtheshark]

They can't find you online? That's probably only because they aren't computer literate. (Not to diss your parents, I'm sure they are very fine people) Once I get kids, I'm pretty sure that I'll find them online. If only because I handle the firewall/router here and can log exactly what they visit. Even if I didn't, it very feasible to simple get on their computer and check their browser history. (Kids don't get Admin - Fuck I don't give Admin to myself for mundane tasks)

You see, the problem is not that parents don't want to know, it is because they do not know how to. For the future generation of kids this is going to change, because we grew up with computers. Actually, with the dumbing down of computers these days, it is very well possible that we will know more about computers than our kids will.

It's a bit like cellphones: I know people that pay the cellphone bills for their -13year olds. They complain that they call too much and don't know what to do. They still want the kids to have a cellphone in "case of an emergency". What most people don't know is that you can lock the numbers you want to the SIM card (or cellphone) and it won't allow other numbers to be called. People don't know. I do, my kids are going to have a hell of a time to beat me in technology. (Same way I did with my dad, because he was well informed too. I beat him, but it took its time)

Re:You Speek the truth

[Tritoch]

"I beat him, but it took its time"

That's what scares me...it may've took some effort, but eventually you did beat him. My child is only 2 years old right now, but who knows what the technology landscape will look like in ten years? It seems like the older I get the less free time I have, so will my geekiest efforts to stay on top of things be enough?

Re:You Speek the truth

[jawtheshark]

It was pretty easy to beat my dad. He was a proto-geek. He would have been a geek for sure if in his time computers would have been a tad bit more cheaper. He became an economist instead and never lost his geekness, but he was simply not specialised in our area. He encouraged me a lot to get into tech and so I did. In a sense, he let me win.

Unless we get a drastical technology shift (something that is not based on electricity and computers), it's quite probable that we as geeks will keep up. I don't have the time either, but when a new gizmo comes out it's usually not hard to get by. I'm usually even a late adopter. Besides, I can call up on my dad: he picked up cellphones quite nicely (and uses more functions than I do). If you have a certain talent in tech, you'll be fine. I'm confident in that.

Again: things these days tend to be dumbed down so much that understanding is not necessary, but only usage. Since (with relation to electronics/computers) we know what goes on, we will have an advantage.

Re:You Speek the truth

[PitaBred]

Drastical? Your dad should have encouraged english skills...

More on-topic, with your "understanding is not necessary, but only usage" comment, don't you find that's true about cars? Most people have only half a clue about what goes on under the hood. They put gas in it, and if you have someone really bright, they change the oil regularly and get tires checked, etc. But it's gone from an understanding thing to where you just call the mechanic when it breaks. I think the previous poster here had it right... we'll probably know more than our kids about the actual workings of the technology because we're geeks. Just like my Dad has a much better idea about how the powertrain of my car works than I do. I have half a clue, but not nearly what he knows.

Re:You Speek the truth

[jawtheshark]

Ever heard of "non-native english speaker"? I actually learnt most of my English because of using computers. So, indirectly he did!

If you really want to start a flamewar about that. Look at little gems I found on slashdot: "weather" instead of "whether" (when not talking about real weather of course), "here, here" instead of "hear, hear" (when not saying "here here kitty") or a new favourite of mine "in do case" instead of "in due case". Did I correct any of these people? Of course not! First, this is slashdot, spelling errors are mandatory and second: who am I to criticize their English? They might be non-native. They might only be 14 years old. What do I know about them?

True, cars fall into the category "usage" but "not knowledge". Still, I have yet to find a geek that doesn't know at least superficially how a powertrain works, how an internal combustion engine works. Other people don't even know *what* a powertrain is. Don't forget, we're talking about controlling such people, we're talking about controlling (young) teenagers here! They even don't know how to spell a word like "drastic" (Oops!). They even don't know how the battery in their cellphone works! I'm sure you do, because you actually learnt this in high school (at least in mine, we did.)

The thing is: geeks will always try to understand how things works, let it be a car, a computer, a washing machine. Sure, we couldn't build one, but having that knowlegde plus being able to actually read a manual and understand it gives us an egde over all those that do not. This includes kids up to 15-16 years. After that, as a parent, you should have taught then how to be (at least partially) responsible.

It's more of that viral marketing bullshit.

[Hamster Lover]

The website, content and contest are just a marketing campaign and a pathetic one at that. Kids "customize" their page and upload pictures and video (pending approval from the Walmart mandarins, of course). The entire exercise is directed at getting kids to shop for their fall back to school wardrobe at Wally World as opposed to Target, who apparently have the budget teen fashion market pretty much buttoned up (no pun intended). It's not a blog or even a blog with training wheels, but just a way for kids to yap to their friends about this "cool new web site" and act as shills for Walmart.

Re:It's more of that viral marketing bullshit.

[goatan]

pending approval from the Walmart mandarins, of course

What do you call a female manadarin?

A satsuma

Re:It's more of that viral marketing bullshit.

[j1mmy]

i prefer my teen fashion unbuttoned, thank you very much.

Re:It's more of that viral marketing bullshit.

[Jurisenpai]

I'm probably the only one who got that joke, but bravo! I LOLed, albeit only slightly.

More details

[Anonymous Coward]

from the FAQ:

WHO'S BEHIND THIS GENIUS WEB DESTINATION?
    The guys from Wal-Mart and Sony® teamed up to bring you all the sweet stuff you'll find on the HUB!

'nuff said.

MySpace.com for the Bible belt

[bazmail]

This is embarrassing. This is like the federal government starting a myspace rival.

reminds me of...

[Anonymous Coward]

Reminds me of yub.com, which is a "social networking" shopping site started by Buy.com (get it? buy=yub) after the rise of Friendster. For some reason, it still exists...

Just wait for Hub 2.0...

[Hamster Lover]

Just wait. Walmart will realize their mistake and allow kids to do things like add hot pink text on top of bright orange, move the text boxes all over the fucking page and feature looping, inane, impossible to shut off Walmart-friendly music that highlights all the best boy bands Walmart has to offer.

Re:Just wait for Hub 2.0...

[orangesquid]

It looks like the goal of this is really a talent competition, but only an idiot (or the idiot's parent(s)) would actually agree to this:
"I represent that my Entry is my original creation and hereby grant to Sponsor the copyright and all other rights now known or hereafter existing to use my Entry throughout the universe, in perpetuity, in whole or in part, in edited, unedited or distorted form, in connection with this Contest, for any trade, advertising, or promotional purpose whatsoever, without review, approval, notification or payment from or to any person or entity, in all media now known or hereafter discovered. I understand and agree that Sponsor shall be entitled to use, reproduce, modify, adapt, publish, translate, license, create derivative works from and distribute or incorporate Entries into any form, medium, or technology now known or later developed throughout the universe, for any purpose whatsoever."

Ouch. (1) Throughout the universe? What, are they afraid a competing alien civilization will try to infringe on the Sponsor's copyright? (2) Without payment, without approval, for any purpose, in any edited or distorted form? Erm.. so if I submitted a video of myself playing guitar, they could make an advertisement where I've been digitally inserted into Britney Spears music video, had a moustache drawn on my face, and use it as an advertisement to sell bull's-eye-targets with my head in the middle? If any kid is hoping to get famous this way, I have one suggestion: DON'T. It sounds like it's *worse* than getting the world's (err, universe's *grin*) worst record deal.

For almost everyone I've met, the ONLY thing they like about Wal-Mart is that you can get lots of stuff inexpensively and conveniently. (I've also heard once or twice that their employees get treated well, which, I have to admit, is admirable.) Their moral agenda, tendency to put local stores out of business (of course, in some cases it's just because it's hard to stay afloat when the giant that is Wal-Mart has sucked all the water out of the pool), policies about what they will and won't carry, and some of the ways I've seen customers treated...

[In some parts of the country, though (sometimes rural areas, economic ditches, etc.), it's the only way to buy some things without mail-ordering them... does that make it a necessary 'evil'?]

Re:Just wait for Hub 2.0...

[Atzanteol]

I represent that my Entry is my original creation and hereby grant to Sponsor the copyright and all other rights now known or hereafter existing to use my Entry throughout the universe

Wow. I don't read a lot of these, but is that 'normal' or is Walmart a little optimistic about furture growth?

Re:Just wait for Hub 2.0...

[Dun Malg]

I represent that my Entry is my original creation and hereby grant to Sponsor the copyright and all other rights now known or hereafter existing to use my Entry throughout the universe

Wow. I don't read a lot of these, but is that 'normal' or is Walmart a little optimistic about furture growth?

Unfortunately, "in perpetuity throughout the universe" has been standard legal boilerplate for a very long time. Given the opportunity, lawyers tend to go for your balls, and they don't fuck around about it.

Re:Just wait for Hub 2.0...

[bluekanoodle]

IANAL and I realize that alot of this is just legal boilerplate, but....

I thought walmart was aiming this at the myspace demographic, which is largely teenagers. Is a "contract" with a Minor (under 18) even enforceable unless also agreed to by the legal guardian for that minor?

So how can Walmart claim they own the copyright to anyworks created, other then them just saying they do?

Re:Just wait for Hub 2.0...

[wiredlogic]

allow kids to do things like add hot pink text on top of bright orange, move the text boxes all over the fucking page

Sounds like vocational training for being a Wired editor to me.

Re:Just wait for Hub 2.0...

[orangesquid]

Hence "your parent/guardian must submit an affirmative response to our request for their approval of your account"... (or whatever it says) ;)

Re:Just wait for Hub 2.0...

[tehcyder]

in perpetuity throughout the universe

I think God might have something to say about that.

Re:Just wait for Hub 2.0...

[digital101]

That is pretty standard language. Pretty much any contest has to include this language given crazy, star-hungry parents. This goes to show that, in fact, that the Wal-Mart site is a contest ... not social networking. Not sure why Ad Age went overboard on the social networking angle.

Whats the point?

[dave1791]

Has Newscorp figured out a way to actually make money with MySpace yet? I recall reading about hair brained ideas like making movies, bands and other products into "friends". I just can't wait to add next month's big budget flick or label promoted band to my friends list.

Then again, I think I'm too old for MySpace.

Re:Whats the point?

[Ethan Allison]

Ask the guys running the server farm (20 head) that manages Myspace ads. Maybe they'll have some sort of idea.

Re:Whats the point?

[Ohreally_factor]

Ethan, I'm sending you a wallmart hub invite. Hope you'll join us. OMGZ PONIES!!!

Re:Whats the point?

[Dorceon]

Can't wait, can you? http://myspace.com/JohnTucker

wAOLmart

[bunhed]

'nuff said.

Or is it the coolest site ever?

[kngofwrld]

I'm going to join this site just to be ironic, dude.

Since TFA didn't give the address

[highwindarea]

Heres a link http://schoolyourway.walmart.com/index.php/

Re:Since TFA didn't give the address

[Burning Plastic]

There seem to be a hell of a lot of ashleys, brittanys and sams on the hub...

Looks like the pr people got bored of thinkning up different names...

In any case...

[Gordonjcp]

... aren't we all using layer 3 switches these days?

An Idea

[Drago Kith Somtaw]

This is a really bad advertising ploy and a source of future labor for anyone who signs up. It is an interesting idea though, it would have worked better if they just created a seperate deparment/company to accomplish roughly the same goal, kind of what disney did with miramax. They could have just set up the site with all walmart advertisments. or just go buy the advertisments on myspace...or myspace itself. Corporate takeovers on the internet...

On the other hand, it could be worse.
They could have called the users: "Associates"
& the site: "The Wall"

Re:An Idea

[CastrTroy]

But kids don't want to be just another brick in the wall. They don't need no education. Which makes this whole "School your way" thing such a bad idea. Nobody wants to go on some crappy social networking site to talk about school supplies, and stuff that can be bought from walmart. I understand of having a safe social networking site for teens, but this is just stupid. First it's not safe, as how do they actually notify your parents? Do you give them "your parents" email address? Yeah, because like you couldn't make some fake hotmail account just for this purpose. Also, I went to the first screen of the signup process, and they want you to enter your entire address. Everybody knows you don't just go to a random site and enter your address. I know they need to send me prizes, but maybe they can talk to me about my address when they actually have something to send to me. I can just see it now. Their database gets compromised, with all the users addresses linked to their page.

What I See...

[NexFlamma]

Ok, maybe this is just me, but I see this as a way for Walmart to try to reach out to the most sought after demographic, which just so happens to be the same demographic that Myspace caters to.

This demographic traditionally sees Walmart as an uncool place, but by setting up this website, they can, at best, change that image, and, at worst, get a ton of free focus group-like situations on which to base future brand ideas.

As much as I think this will tank horribly, it's a fantastic idea.

If this does become successful, however, watch for anti-hubster, anti-Walmart viral backlash on Myspace. Subversive, networked anti-advertisements are the wave of future.

Re:What I See...

[qcubed]

Yes, they're trying to reach out. No, it's not going to be successful. Why?

1. It reeks of commercialization. Every single hot/featured video reads like it's from a script; every single hot/featured profile drops the slogan like nobody's business--everything is tagged with "school my way", an awkward phrase that I highly doubt will catch on at all.

2. Unlike most other social networking sites, the links to the profiles themselves are nigh impossible to remember, being nothing but a string of numbers atop a rather unwieldy domain--and very few people are going to remember what there user id number string is.

3. As far as I can tell, there is no feature that enables social networking in the sense where someone can add/delete friends and link to them, see a list of friends, or write to or even comment on other profiles. Since that drastically reduces the amount of user generated content, it doesn't seem that it'll remain compelling to anyone for longer than i seconds.

4. Virtually every "profile" I've visited, if they have videos, they're pending approval. That sort of restriction on content generation will do more to stifle it than engender it.

5. The only expressions anybody's done is are pick a song, at most 3 photos, and a line or two of text. Oh, and a wishlist. Because really, that's all anyone needs to "express themselves".

6. It reeks of inauthenticity, with its spokespeople and front page faces very clearly appearing to try entirely too hard to be "cool" and "hip^H^H^H hubsterish". The problem is, it's often more successful if the users name themselves (and often doesn't sound as bad), and the "-ster" ending fell into disfavor among the hip web crowd (again, the demographic they seem to want with this page)... oh, three? four years ago now?

To summarize, it looks fake, doesn't have the freedom or control for the users, is hardly "social networking"... and is a classic example of how some marketers and suits really just don't get it. It's not a fantastic idea at all; rather, it's a prime example of someone falling to the buzzword disease, and then trying to make a cheap knockoff without even understanding how or what makes the original work. As far as the worst thing that can happen to Wal-Mart from this? Scorn and cementing the poor image it has from the demographic it most wants--and honestly, that already seems to be happening.

sounds christian

[ajs318]

This just sounds totally christian! Notifying your parents?! Restricting you from contacting other people?! This site will go down like the name "The New Yardbirds"! If it doesn't fall down under the weight of its own stupidity, someone is bound to push it over. That, if it happens, will undoubtedly lead to moans of "evil hacker scumbags"; but the truth is, if you go out in a baggy suit with a squirty flower, a bright frizzy wig, a red nose and big flappy shoes, somebody's going to take you for a clown.

Proof positive

[kataflok]

Aside from the entertainment of the mockery Wally World so richly deserves, this is a pretty clear example of the level of desperation the idiot mainstream marketers are experiencing. They, like the failed entertainment retailers, are coming to realize that they can't control the world anymore.

So, they are trying to take on this runaway train we call the web. Trouble is, they have been stuck in their little castles for so long, they no longer get the new world that is. Because they do not get it, they attempt a cheesy imitation of such.

The stunning irony here is that they actually believed this rip off would be found credible and there was no one within their ranks who was able to tell them how idiotic they looked.

This isn't the loss of a battle -- this is a total loss of the war.

Re:Proof positive

[glindsey]

I disagree. If you honestly believe that advertising companies, mainstream marketers and Big Media aren't going to be able to stop the "runaway train" of the Web, just look at who owns MySpace. Look at the anti-Net Neutrality propaganda that is being pushed to idiots in Congress who think the Internet is a "series of pipes". All it takes is a bit of corporate regulation and redefinition of the word "competition" to mean "sure, you have a choice in how you connect to and what you see in the Internet -- just sell your house and move," and this runaway train will be switched to a new track so smoothly and quietly that you won't even realize you're being manipulated until it's too late.

Yes, I'm pessimistic.

Silly Human

[bky1701]

Thinking there is anything worth looking at on myspace.

A competent parent wouldn't want to

[Anonymous Coward]

I'd have as much success leading them to this site as I have getting them to tidy their rooms, speak respectfully to their elders and cook dinner occasionally.

A more competent parent would succeed with the last 3. But wouldn't even want to lead them to this site, which seems to treat its users as purely advertising fodder.

omg ponies!

[Ohreally_factor]

Baloo, I'm sending you a walmart friend invite. Keep in mind that we're should all register underage. Use a real secondary email address to be your "parent's address. Etc.

Probably not news but..

[clickclickdrone]

Did you know Walmart buys 10% of the entire output of China? 90% of Walmarts products come from China? Good for the balance of trade defecit, not.

Back on track, one wonders what the management structures must be like if a project gets this far without someone, somewhere in the Walmart behomoth saying 'umm, this is a really, really cheesy and embarassingly bad idea'.

Re:Probably not news but..

[quokkapox]

Back on track, one wonders what the management structures must be like if a project gets this far without someone, somewhere in the Walmart behomoth saying 'umm, this is a really, really cheesy and embarassingly bad idea'.

This is the challenge of the early 21st century in a nutshell: how do the people who actually have a clue take back control of the means of production and communication from the megacorporations and governments and reverse the otherwise inevitable train wreck of human civilization that we're currently living through.

You could... almost... write a mass-market book about it. But that would be selling out.

Re:Probably not news but..

[clickclickdrone]

>You could... almost... write a mass-market book about it. But that would be selling out.

There was quite a good one (UK only?) called Blunderboss by Roger Trapp. It's on Amazon UK but not US.

Re:Probably not news but..

[Kasar]

It's marketing. Most of the Chinese crap is just that. They set a low price point on a low-quality item, then also have the more standard fare. The price on the cheap stuff is lower than other stores because nobody else sells that junk, their prices on the brand names are actually a little higher than the local market.

Get em in with the price, then they look at the quality and step up one or two levels and you have decent profit margins.

Some apparently do buy the cheapest stuff, but most of it doesn't last long, so they either buy better next time or keep buying the same products. Works for them either way.

Reminds me

[CaptainZapp]

Oh, and it calls users 'hubsters'

Of the founder of a space opera ufo nut cult, alas Hubbard is written with a double 'b'.

Maybe Walmart just didn't want to get sued..

Re:Reminds me

[Chriscypher]

"Oh, and it calls users 'hubsters' -- a twist on hipsters that proves just how painfully uncool it is to try to be cool."

Seems "hamsters" might be more approriate.

Fix that spelling right fucking now.

[Anonymous Coward]

Speaking of MySpace, are we picking up on dogshit for education? 81 comments as of this post and the headline is still an eyesore.

Fix, editors, fix! Edit, editors, edit!

Oooh new playground

[NevarMore]

Well, I've been out of the country and away from my friends for a few months.

I can't go egging houses, but tonight, yeeeess tonight we see what we can get past the censors at WalMart.

Will post updates here.

I should probably shave first.

Re:Oooh new playground

[multipartmixed]

> I should probably shave first.

They said no nudity.

Flatulating marketroids

[Crash Culligan]

(What, you thought they think with their heads? Hah!)

I just went to Wal-Mart's main site to look at this train-wreck of a marketing idea myself, and I couldn't see how to get to it.

Oh, incidentally, Amazon called--they want their page layout back. Wal-Mart's gettin' it ugly.

It's not at thehub.com; that site looks almost cool from a business perspective. (Any meeting space that serves sandwiches gets a nod from me.)

Finally, I had to fall back on Google (!!!) to find what subdomain they tucked it into, and ...ack. Unlike most train-wrecks, I could take my eyes off of it. I suppose it's a mercy that the "Hub" is buried that way; it won't suck in the gullible and stupid.

Mind you, this has given me a wonderful idea...

Re:Flatulating marketroids

[infosec_spaz]

Wal-Mart uses Amazon web services for their ecommerce...as does Target and Sears...So, they tend to look alike.

Re:Flatulating marketroids

[Crash Culligan]

Wal-Mart uses Amazon web services for their ecommerce...as does Target and Sears...So, they tend to look alike.

Uhhh, no. That's not quite how it works.

"Web services" are a back-end information protocol, often used to exchange product and pricing information and often done in XML or some derivative (which, given XML's nature, is also XML). It contains no formatting other than the semantic markup and tagging required to make sense of the data sent/received -- no matter what protocol you use for your web service, it's in your best interest to make it as simple and compact as possible to save bandwidth.

Once the requester gets the data, it can be presented to other users in any way it chooses. The fact that Wal-Mart's main page looks like a bad knock-off of an old Amazon layout is not due to Wal-Mart using Amazon's web services, it's because Wal-Mart's main page is a bad knock-off of an old Amazon layout.

Admittedly, it does dovetail nicely into just how bad the creativity drain over at Wal-Mart is...

Re:Flatulating marketroids

[infosec_spaz]

I completely understand...I was trying to be funny...I have failed, please hand me the sword! :o)

Re: Ad Fodder

[Anonymous Coward]

Arridor: Exploitation begins at home!

FSM

[Morosoph]

May Cthulu help us all.

Tentacles == Spaghetti?

You may have just unmasked the true identity of the Great and Holy Flying Spaghetti Monster!

You guys are missing the point...

[Anonymous Coward]

Wal*Mart is simply doing this to gain valuable insight into the "popular" things teenagers think about. To do so is to "know your market," which in the ends gains them dollars. They don't give a damn about competing with MySpace - this is simply free focus group fodder. If they even get a few hundred users to post a few blog posts with useful marketing information, they'll be happy.

Marketing data is what they are looking for.

Re:You guys are missing the point...

[mkelley]

If they wanted to know what teens liked, they could have started with focus groups before even launching the site....it would have been far less expensive and would have told them ahead of time that teens want freedom not the ghost of Sam Walton urging them to be a hubster.

Re:You guys are missing the point...

[foniksonik]

As opposed to MySpace?

"MySpace is simply doing this to gain valuable insight into the "popular" things teenagers think about. To do so is to "know your market," which in the ends gains them dollars. They don't give a damn about competing with *the internet* - this is simply free focus group fodder. If they even get a few million users to post a few blog posts with useful marketing information, they'll be happy."

Re:You guys are missing the point...

[Anonymous Coward]

Well, speaking as a fifteen year old girl (NOT a short, balding, single, 39 year old man who's about 40 lbs overweight and working the evening shift as a TV salesman in the local Best Buy, in spite of any scurrilous rumors to the contrary!), I'm really looking forward to posting everything I want for "back to school" season: hemroid suppositories; work boots; a new car battery (750 cold cranking amps); ex-lax; a Snore-B-Gone®; and two packs of triple-X large condoms...actually, scratch that last item -- it's a little too plausible.

Maybe Walmart will take advantage of this marketing data to release "back to school packs" pre-filled with everything a teenage hubster will need this fall: car battery, Snore-B-Gone®, condoms, hemroid suppositories, and all!

Well, no time to waste. This teenage girl is about to become a Walmart Hubster!

Re:You guys are missing the point...

[kent_eh]

If they even get a few hundred users to post a few blog posts with useful marketing information, they'll be happy.

Marketing data is what they are looking for

Well, if that's all they want, I'm sure a few hundred bored, "walMart-are-scum" preachin' Slashdotters could provide them with tons of "valuable" marketing data....

Front page video

[LS]

I counted the number of times the girls said "cute" and "like" in that front page video. Here's the rough numbers:

cute: 11111111
like: 111111111111

Re:Front page video

[Mr2001]

Nice work! I lost count after 11,111,108. :(

Re:Front page video

[Anonymous Coward]

help me out:
is that 8 and 12?
11,111,111 and 111,111,111,111?
or 255 and 4095?

Re:Front page video

[pimpimpim]

ah, so you're the guy screening content on their website! How much does it pay? ;)

Re:Front page video

[Anonymous Coward]

You know you lost count at 11,111,108? Obviously, you didn't lose count then.

Re:Front page video

[glsunder]

cute: 11111111

You missed one, it was 100000000 times.

Careful what you wish for

[Ilgaz]

I use OS X so they are "nicer" to us.. They shipped Flash 9 final , as we can't find anywhere "what's new", all could only guess there must be some better performance, compatibility fixes and even unlisted security fixes.

We updated.

Result? Sites claim we don't have Flash installed! Yes, not "older" version problem, just because "newer" version problem.

I tried to downgrade a program/plugin first time in my life as result of it. If I could find the 8.22...

Flash professionals (very common on OS X) claim a reasonable reason: A very widely used Flash detector script was not coded with anything higher than 8 in mind. As Adobe (new boss!) does not come up with an official explanation, that is what I believe.

If that detector is widely used (including my bank!), couldn't they try to add some hack of backwards compatibility?

As far as I know, x86's have some compatibility features dating back to 1980s.

What do they suggest? Contact millions of web page authors?

I try not being negative but it is the first time I saw a problem happens when you get a newer flash plugin. I can't remember anything like that since version 1.0, never filtered it in my life too. Congrats Adobe?

Re:Careful what you wish for

[DarkSarin]

Your bank uses flash? I wouldn't touch that with a 50' pole.

Re:Careful what you wish for

[Ilgaz]

Oh well, I was "punished" already because I spoke about some real problem before Linux gets flash 9.

It will get that problem anyway, they will report that issue like "Adobe Sux! Flash doesn't work!" and get +5 informative instead of my "offtopic".

Quality goes lower each day...

missing buzzword in title

[SethJohnson]

Emulate myspace?!?!? Slashdot is really missing a story-click headline opportunity here. Walmart is launching a mySpace-KILLER!

Seth

My boy is still 7...

[hummassa]

but I manage to get him to tidy his room (and even other rooms in the house) and to speak respectfully to his elders.

Re:My boy is still 7...

[Gorath99]

but I manage to get him to tidy his room (and even other rooms in the house) and to speak respectfully to his elders.

Wait till he's a teen and see what's left of that.

And please consider for a moment how bragging about how your kid is better than someone else's makes you sound. Don't be one of those people.

Re:My boy is still 7...

[adam1234]

but I manage to get him to tidy his room (and even other rooms in the house) and to speak respectfully to his elders.

Wait till he's a teen and see what's left of that.

I know plenty of teens that still "tidy" their rooms and speak respectfully to elders, myself included.

And please consider for a moment how bragging about how your kid is better than someone else's makes you sound. Don't be one of those people.

What, you mean one of those "better kind of parent" people? Not everyone is utterly incompetent and defeatist when it comes to parenting.

Re:My boy is still 7...

[Anonymous Coward]

Wait a minute... I thought you claimed to speak respectfully to elders.

Re:My boy is still 7...

[Gorath99]

I know plenty of teens that still "tidy" their rooms and speak respectfully to elders, myself included.

That is beside the point. Said point being that getting a 7 year old to behave is much easier than getting a teen to do the same.

What, you mean one of those "better kind of parent" people? Not everyone is utterly incompetent and defeatist when it comes to parenting.

You assume a lot. Not every kid is the same and not everyone grows up in the same environment. And that's not even going into the fact that it is not unusual for teens to go through rebellious phases. Also, the AC in #15742752 has a good point.

Re:My boy is still 7...

[Anonymous Coward]

Pst... He was lying.

Re:My boy is still 7...

[/dev/trash]

I'm sure his teenage years will be filled with the same then.

Ha! Good luck.

MySpace for Adults

[Nurgled]

I'm not a big MySpace user, but a lot of my (adult) friends use it quite a lot for the "Music" section. By being attached to a big media company they've managed to get an official presence for almost every major label and band on that site, and they also allow unsigned/smaller bands to register themselves. My friends trawl around the music section looking for new bands, and the group of my friends that are in a band of their own use it to promote said band to fans of similar bands.

The pure social networking bit is mostly for the kids, but the music section seems to attract young adults a lot more.

Discount Friends...

[Darundal]

Walmart may be cheap, but I find a LOT of the time I shop there, I get what I pay for...sorry, but am I the only one here scared about the prospect of "friends half off"?

it, like, takes a lot of time

[CagedBear]

From the Article: The Columbus teen doubts she'll submit a video or enter the contests because "it, like, takes a lot of time, and it's not very likely you'll win."

That's the smartest thing I've heard in a while. Take out the slang "like" and this 14 year old girl analyzed, prioritized and made an executive-level decision.

Re:it, like, takes a lot of time

[sesshomaru]

She sounds like a straight shooter with upper management written all over her.

"Trys"?

[Porchroof]

"Trys"?

Re:"Trys"?

[Anonymous Coward]

And on the bottom of the page when I viewed it:
A Law of Computer Programming: Make it possible for programmers to write in English and you will find that programmers cannot write in English.

Even the random quote generator has a sense of irony.

You know what?

[Anonymous Coward]

It would be really sad if it actually got off the ground. Not to mention that it would burn most of these comments...

link to actual site

[Anonymous Coward]

I didn't see it listed anywhere, so here's the actual site:

http://schoolyourway.walmart.com

Cool??? mybe for grandpa

[x-vere]

I've never actually been compelled to write anything using expressions which I haven't tested here at /. So here goes... How much more freakin' gay can you be?!? It might be cool if it were, say, for my 70 year old grandpa! Hotlist? I don't think that has been used since... Ok. Maybe he 80's. I was going for something like the 30's to follow with the 70 year old grandpa comment. Regardless, my respet for Wal-mart as the great pillar of American business it is has been flushed.

Re:Cool??? mybe for grandpa

[lucerin]

im sorry, did you actually say something there?

Re:Cool??? mybe for grandpa

[x-vere]

I'm sorry, were you trying to be fashionably late?

theif

[Anonymous Coward]

They must change the name, it's to close to my up and coming hoboster.com a social website for hobos and bums.

It is a raging success!

[Lumpy]

It MUST be a raging success!

I can see the flames from it from here already!

People talk like this is a bad thing

[smchris]

Echoing SNL's insight that WalMart reversed its decision to sell birth control pills when it throught about who shops at WalMart, do we _really_ want people who would join this site uncensored and emailing each other?

Re:People talk like this is a bad thing

[elrous0]

Don't worry. The site is only designed to appeal to Walmart's most educated customers (that is, the ones who can actually read and write).

-Eric

Holy Crap batman!

[kahn]

But it won't change the shopping habits of Molly Morgan, 14, who goes to Wal-Mart only when her mom does to buy groceries and spends her monthly $150 clothing budget at Abercrombie & Fitch, Hollister and Nordstrom.

$150/month for clothes? Does the author of TFA really thing this is who Walmart is aiming this at?

Seriously, what 14yo gets $150/month for clothes? Why couldn't I have been born into that family?

Express yourself

[Anonymous Coward]

They just want teens to express their individuality, uh, as long as that individuality conforms to Walmart's ideas

Five Oddities From Wal-Mart's 'The Hub'

[starexplorer2001]

Check #1 on this blog, amazing:

http://neverendinglists.blogspot.com/2006/07/five- oddities-from-wal-marts-hub.html

1. This site brought to you by Exxon Mobil
This one weirded me out, I'm sure there's a perfectly reasonable explanation: all images are hosted at exxonmobil.download.akamai.com. Paranoid meter now officially ON.

How exactly does this....

[Anonymous Coward]

...notify your parents that you created a site? I'm not gonna lie - I didn't RTFA, but I imagine that it would be extremely difficult to accomplish this. If there's a box that says 'Input Parents' Email Address Please!,' it could quite easily be forged. It's pretty much impossible to enfore this...

Or should we automatically assume that Wal-Mart already knows every detail of personal information about its users, like every good corporation should...

who will replace myspace?

[moosesocks]

I think it's becoming increasingly clear to just about every that myspace is an awful, awful thing (from just about every point of view.....)

If people are going to start moving away from myspace to other sites and services, which ones will people flock to?

Right now, my money's on Vox.

Re:who will replace myspace?

[MrSquirrel]

Maybe they just happened to have some extra space on their webserver?... *looks around*... *tinfoil hat ON*

WalMart Rocks?

[Anonymous Coward]

My first search was for "WalMart sucks." No results, so I tried just "WalMart" and found one result: WalMart Rocks.

I'm done with this.

Wal Mart "TRYS"

[Anonymous Coward]

WTF word is "trys"? You mean "Tries"?

Slashdotters should know better....

[panicboy]

Right. As presumably educated people, the /. crowd - especially moderators, the buffer between the Great Unwashed Masses Who Submit and the Creme de la Audience - should be on the lookout for common errors like this.

She called me....

[TheOldSchooler]

A hubster doofus Jerry!

Pre-Programmed Failure

[Tom]

This is going to fail and fail badly. For one simple reason anyone who still remembers there childhood knows: Nothing specifically designed to appeal to teens ever does.

Teens are way, way, way more interested in stuff made for adults.

wow

[gargletheape]

Man these people laid an egg. Even Slashdot feels comfortable calling it uncool :)

o_O

[NokX]

omg...i just watched that little girl ashley's video. i want to shoot myself in the face now. i love walmart, but this idea is beyond awful.

Re:o_O

[Anonymous Coward]

From TFA
But it won't change the shopping habits of Molly Morgan, 14, who goes to Wal-Mart only when her mom does to buy groceries and spends her monthly $150 clothing budget at Abercrombie & Fitch, Hollister and Nordstrom.

$150 A MONTH?????? Jeebus. I feel bad spending $150 bucks a YEAR on clothes. At 14 I think I got a weekly allowance of something like 5 bucks and I had to buy lunch with it at school. This was only 12 years ago, prices haven't gone up that much. Christ. Where do they find these children? And where do their parents get their cash? I know they're still growing as teenagers but by 14 alot of girls are full height (I know I was) My mom stopped growing at 12. I guess if you're buying at Abercombie and Fitch that's a pair of Jeans a month though since they charge so damn much for them. Wow. Just Wow.

School My Way

[Mateo_LeFou]

Painful, but I watched all four little videos. Did anyone notice that not one of them (remember slogan is "School My Way") mentioned, um ... school? Except that singer said something along the lines of "I sing instead of doing my homework". Does the word 'school' have some strange usage that I wasn't previously aware of?

Re:School My Way

[IflyRC]

School is no longer a place for education. It's a fashion show and MySpace "real meet" get together every day. Also, the news mentions from time to time how school is used for target practice.

Re:School My Way

[FirmWarez]

Does the word 'school' have some strange usage that I wasn't previously aware of?

Oh, so you want your 'school' to remain old school.

They already are!

[drunkennewfiemidget]

Walmart is already just like myspace.

They both suck, and their claim to fame are a bunch of teenagers, and losers.

meh

[JW.Axelsen.Sr.]

move along, nothing to see here...except for a wal-mart commercial that looks like a web site. nice try, but now the site is right under myspace on the blocked domains list in my router.

MOD PARENT UP

[oscartheduck]

Ah, if I had the mod points, I'd do it myself.

TRYS??

[Anonymous Coward]

Are you kidding? Does the submitter not speak English?

Why don't you try "TRIES" instead of "TRYS"?

Re:TRYS??

[Anonymous Coward]

The Slashdot editor should also learn English

It's really not news....

[rupert0]

Every major company in the world wants to target teens. Who woudn't, it's the biggest market out there. PS. I wan kick the little rascal in the skate video, sell outs.

vortex

[Lehk228]

summon greater vortex of infinite suck

Actually...

[tonyr1988]

In many areas, WalMart IS a "social networking" place. Take, for instance, my small town in Missouri. We have nothing - no Starbucks, no Panera, no other "cool to hang out" places. We have a movie theater, but it's too expensive to go all the time.

We have a mall (and those other cool places) in a nearby town, but it's a 30-minute drive, and it's just not convenient to do that all the time. Plus, the mall isn't even that good.

The result: a lot of people honestly hang out at WalMart. Groups of kids go just because it's somewhere to go. Sometimes kids will wreak havoc, but not always.

Not that I think this Hub will be successful (or that it should be), but don't underestimate the power of "nothing to do"-ness.

Now

[42Penguins]

Now all they have to do is fix their product search on the main page. If it's not the right term for something, you get a list of completely unrelated books & music.
Try searching for "light bulb." It should be a common thing, right? Nope... you get "Snow" by Curt Kirkwood and books about the historical effect of the light bulb.
Other than that, I'm perfectly willing to give my soul over to the beast of retailing.

Could they not just harvest MySpace pages

[arthurpaliden]

If they wanted to find out what 'MySpace' users think in regards to say possible marketing they could just as easly mine the MySpace pages. All the data is already there.

I Respect myspace; You should

[M1000]

I respect myspace, and you should !

As someone said on fark.com (I'm sorry, I can't find a link to the comment), the people at myspace
created a site where all the teenagers can create their stupid unreadable and ugly web pages, with
all the background music they want. And you know what ? Its all in the same place. Myspace.

At least, you only need to know where *not* to browse, and the rest of the internet is still... well
not that bad, after all. ;-)

how it actually happens...

[smellsofbikes]

Cute young marketing girl: "I think we should make something like MySpace that's loosely associated with WalMart to improve our brand's image with youth."

PHB level 1: "Great idea. Write up a proposal."

Cute young marketing girl: (thinking: this is gonna be GREAT) "I already did: here it is."

PHB level 1 "Awesome! Let me shop this around. Oh, since MySpace is getting all this bad press with stalkers and all, we can't let the kids talk to each other."

PHB level 2 "Great idea! But we better make sure that kids have their parents' permission to be on there."

PHB level 3 "Fantastic idea! And let's have the kids make videos about how great WalMart is!"

PHB level 4 "Okay. Let's build this!"

PHB (as a group): "Great idea, cute young intern girl! If this works, your career with WalMart is guaranteed!"

(cute young intern girl doesn't hear them because she's busy looking on Monster.com for her way out of the impending debacle.)

Oursourcing networking

[Anonymous Coward]

Maybe Walmart could get low wage Chinese workers to do my networking for me. I haven't got time to diddle around putting silly pictures on my home page, but if Walmart could find some 30 cents/day laborer to do it for me... Profit!

A lot of you fail to see the possibilities:

[TemplesA]

Think about the parents who wont allow their children on MySpace, and have the very young tweens [11-12-13] who may not be interested in MySpace just yet, and these parents see this "Safe" version of MySpace, they would let them join. There, you have your user base.

It just figures.

[mattsucks]

I finally submit a story that gets accepted, and I forgot to log in when I did it. OTOH, "Trys" was my stupid tyop in the original headline, so maybe I shouldn't have posted this at all.

Oh, I know. . .

[CrtxReavr]

This is like those lame, drug & alcohol-free dances, the local Kiwanis lodge always sponsored, but no one ever went to?

-CR

Req'd fields

[NevarMore]

http://schoolyourway.walmart.com/index.php/registe r

Holy hell, look at the required fields. They're worried about people getting EMAIL addresses of minors?

* First Name
* Last Name
* Email
* DOB
* Password
* Retype Password
* Address
* City
* State
* Zip Code

* Phone Number
*Gender: Male Female
* Security Question
* Security Answer
* I agree to the Contest Rules and Talent Release
* Parent or Guardian's Email
* Parent or Guardian's Consent

Re:MySpace - it's worse

[fahrbot-bot]

Appears to be a giant dating site for people who think quoting 'meaningful' song lyrics on their web page makes them deep.

It's worse than you think. It seems to consist of posers who think that having 1145 "friends" (including famous people) and a virtually unreadable page makes them cool. Friend comments are mostly "thanks for the add", "have a nice weekend", and "U R SXY - LOL"... sigh. Many of the photos are soft-p0rn. I guess they're meant to attract, but would *you* date someone who posted that to the world?

Note to the guys: Those pictures of you and your abs aren't really going to attract your target audience. I hope you're comfortable with your sexuality :-) In addition, having a screen name of "The Hose" (yes, there are 10 of them) is NOT a good thing -- especially when you look like a moron.

Sorry. MySpace could be cool, but generally isn't. What a waste.

That's Actually True

[Phoenix666]

I worked a stint in JWT's (nee J. Walter Thompson) Interactive Division on Madison Avenue. Creative Directors would come down with retarded ideas like this all the time two weeks before launching the TV and Print components of an integrated campaign and demand we pull something the size of MySpace out of our asses, with such detailed instructions as, "we want something really hip and cool that's 'viral.'" They asked for the same thing in the same words so often that we had a canned spiel explaining that that word, 'viral,' does not mean what they think it means. Then the marketroids in the Account Department would further retard the Creative Directors' stunted concepts with their lunacy, and finally both the Agency and Client legal departments would do their review of the online component and vomit all over it, touch up the corners with their own feces, and the final product would look exactly like this opt-out message.

It's pitiful, laughable, and annoying; but on the bright side it does permanently preclude a true corporate takeover of the internet's mindspace because even though individuals at corporations understand that they don't get it, the very nature of a corporation makes it impossible that the corporation ever will.

Corporate America/World retards human progress, not promotes it.

For the child labor?

[Duncan3]

Ha, I assumed when I read the headline that Wal*Mart had started a MySpace clone for the child labor and slave labor that makes all their crap. I was close, it's for the children that BUY their crap.

Rememeber our slogan, "Made for children by children."

Turds?

[Aqualung812]

...force them off Myspace and onto this turd

You used the word "turd" twice...

Re:Turds?

[HiThere]

It's unusual, I admit, but in THIS case it appears apt.

Must be telepathy

[Friar_MJK]

Hmm, looks like further proof we need to look more at the issue of telepathy. http://backslash.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=06/07 /18/2046227/ (wouldn't it be cool?)

Nerds calling Nerds "Nerds".

[happy_place]

So wait a bunch of nerds are mocking Walmart? We should be grateful. It gets tiresome just mocking AOL users.

Supply Chain Management Champions Reaction?

[4of12]

I'm not privileged to be part of the targeted demographic, so my opinion that it seems unlikely to catch on might be wrong. I experienced a moment of cognitive dissonance when I read

...consider how Wal-Mart helps support their personal style and self-expression through the depth and breadth of products Wal-Mart offers.

What I really wonder is what the real IT folks at Walmart think of this scheme?

Recall that the company maintains one of the largest IT shops in the world that keeps timely up-to-date information on exactly what is selling where and how suppliers need to adjust (SCM). Non-trivial stuff that serves as casebook exercises in lessons for why Walmart is Changin the Landscape.

They've got to be trying hard not to LOL at the ludicrosity.

Here you go

[snowwrestler]

The Loved Ones

My little brother's band. Please mod up, he could use the exposure and he definitely needs the money!

(note--dates from when MySpace was just a Web site for bands to share their music.)

OT: FZ Trivia

[BandwidthHog]

Do you know which television personality has been known to use an instrumental version of that song on his show?

Re:OT: FZ Trivia

[BandwidthHog]

Hmm, no takers. Oh well. The Tonight Show band often vamps on that as they go into the first commercial break after Jay Leno’s monologue. Or at least they did back in the 90s when I still watched TV.

sanitized?

[fbg111]

target the MySpace demographic with a new, and highly sanitized, site designed to appeal to teens.

Nuff said, it's doomed to failure. This is Generation Porn they're trying to appeal to, after all.

Do we really think "Hubters" is that bad?

[SanityInAnarchy]

And we use words like "Slashdotter" and "Digger". Even "Hacker" is a stretch.

I'm sure it's completely, totally, and horribly lame, and it would be just as lame if it was "Clothes for nerds. Your appearance matters." Admit it, we've got about as much right to call anyone else uncool as Charlie Manson has to call anyone else insane.

is anyone surprised?

[Anonymous Coward]

to see walmart selling astroturf.

the "winner" of this contest is going to be so pure and homegrown american, that i can make a prediction: expect to see some teen queen make a "viral" but indivudally talented video, which becomes so wildly popular that it gets said "teen" (as in spice girls, boyband inc. etc) a fantasy record deal. this shit will of course be on sale exclusively at wal-mart, which will be enough to make a plat album at least.

Not your favorite Mitnickian engineering...

[HTH NE1]

Good Lord, there has to be an end to this. Every company with an online frontend thinks they can create some kind of social-networking infrastructure to "draw the hip kids in" with.

It's their attempt at social network engineering.

How many..

[bruno.fatia]

First Orkut then MySpace now Wallmart.. where is this supposed to end? Microsoft?

Special on friends, aisle 17

[jiawen]

Friends, now buy one get 95 million free. But they were made in China, so it's best if you speak Mandarin. But then, IM-speak is almost universal.

(More seriously, I wonder if Mallwart will find some way to work cheap labor into it. Maybe the Justice Department will contact them to start creating fake under-age accounts, and Mallwart will farm the work out to China. New work for all those gold-miners: now, instead of pretending to be minotaurs, they get to pretend to be 16 year old girls from Indiana.)

Yes, but was it made in China?

[VGfort]

no text