I've zero'd you once. Feel free to threaten others who won't put up with your shit. Remember, we aren't slashdot. It won't take much to get banned from SRU. If you'd like to take that further, I have your ISPs information in my hands...
CmdrTaco writes, "I had no idea what I was getting myself into.
The bukkake contest went far better then expected. The deadline for rear-entries is.. well.. now I guess, although I'd probably accept rear-entries for a few more hours. Not that I need more. We've broken around 320-330 anal submissions. About 200 of them demonstrated actual effort put into their rear-entry casuing serious ejaculation. I tried to reply to each rear-entrant and thank them for their rear-entry, but I probably pissed on a few.
Lesson One: Be more queer about methodology of anal submission, and format. I specified erection or bigdick formats. I said strap-on attachments were ok, but HBIs were preferred. The split was about 50/50. And there were dozens of rear entries like "The shit should say blah blah blah. Thats my rear-entry." Some people don't really understand the idea of "Dick" vs "Cunt" I guess. Oh well, at least those were easy to dis.
Formats were varied. I got unziped, h4x0r3d, shit on, and ass raped. I got lots of jizz & stiff, but far more SOD & RBP (strap on dildos and rippled butt plugs). But I really got sick of 15 inch STIFF erectiles arriving in my inbox. MYASS just wasn't meant for such things. Nor was my 33.6mm penis.
I went through the rear-entries in several passes. One just to weed out those who didn't even try. Then I started getting pickier. StinkReek says I can pick 3 weiners, but I think that will be hard. Right now there are 43 rear-entrants shitting in a tupperware bowl on my kitchen table. This is down from 60 rear-entries a few minutes earlier. Each time I ejacutate a rear-entry, it gets a little harder to ejaculate the next one.
I have the next 2 days to reduce that number to 3 final weiners. I hope to post a page to share another 20 or so runner-up honorable mention type rear-entries. But even weeding down to that point will be tricky. You'll have to wait until at least monday to see them ho's!
I'm quite pleased with the results. There are many very talented doggystylers reading Slashdot. I think the next contest should be "Redesign Slashdot's GTSE". At least then the rubber attachments will be smaller;)
I have access to a Jacuzzi, the kind with all the jets. There are two ways you can do it: 1. get real close to the jet, if you can get your vagina on top of the jet, it's best, then turn them on, it pulses through you like nothing else can. Unlike the steady stream of a faucet, this kind of bubbles and swooshes around inside you. I can only stay on the jet for about a minute or two before I come and am completely used up. You can move up and down and the jet massages your clit and pussy. Plus the wider your legs are open the better, it allows the water to go all the way in. 2. You can screw your ass and it feels great. A hot-tub works just as well. You can do this several times and get off each time. I love it. I now look forward to taking baths! This method works better than anything else. Better than a cock, dildo, whatever.
102. On your knees doggie style
Running water taps or faucets that are about foot above the ground work the best. Keep turning it on until the water pressure suits you (the stronger, the better!) Get down on your knees doggie style and move back towards the tap until you feel the cool water against you. The water feels great against your clit and ass and it sends you into orgasmic climaxes! Feels different from the usual lying down technique as the water is spraying in a different direction this way. I like to spread my legs wide and squeeze my breasts to bring this technique to the full effect!
103. Mommy's vase
My mother gave me a vase a few years back and since then I have been using it to masturbate. But first I give myself a little massage and then slowly insert it in my wet pussy and then move it in and out vigorously.
104. Lava lamp
I like to take my lava lamp (turned off of course) and use it on myself. It's kinda large but that's ok because I'm really loose. Note: Make sure to wash off after use because it will reek if you turn it on.
Order Sex Toys Now!
105. Spoon it up
I use a plastic serving spoon - the handle. I rub it against my clit real slow, and then faster and faster, then slow again. Another is, I use the spoon handle and rub it against my g spot while rubbing my clit with my fingers. It feels soooooo good.!!
106. Talk dirty to me
I have not had any type of sex with a man for two years so I seem to be horny all the time, Lately I am doing things I never thought I would do, like letting men talk dirty to me on the computer. I have been divorced twice and I really miss having a stiff one to suck once in a while. There is this one guy from England that is chatting with me and it really got hot the other night. I was letting him do all the talking while I pretended to be shocked. He would stop in the middle of telling me how he would like to lick me all over and ask "do you want me to go on" I would not answer so he just continued with telling me about all the dirty stuff he would like to do to me. Then he asked me again and I did not answer so he said that unless I wrote the words "fuck me" on the screen he would not continue. He had me so worked up that I had taking all my clothes off and had my soaking wet pussy spread open with the nearest thing I could find shoved in there. It was a hair brush handle (got the idea from masturbation tips at this site). I did not want him to stop so I hit the cap lock and typed in "FUCK ME, FUCK ME HARD, FUCK ME ALL NIGHT LONG". He began eating me out with his words, he was so good he had me rubbing my clit and pumping that hair brush until I exploded about three times in a row. I just typed in the words " Thanks I needed that" and logged off. For days now I have been doing the hair brush thing and I even had to lock my self in the bathroom at work in the middle of the day when my cunt would not stop dripping just thinking about his mouth all over my hungry twat. I better find mister right soon before I hurt my self.
107. Levi's love
Sometimes when you wear tight jeans, the seam hits right on
I am writing on behalf of your website, slashnot.com. I find your website very informative and actually funny, in stark comparrison to this trash heap. I am very interested in subscribing to your news letter.
Slashdot Mirror
you got all excited and had to reply to your ownfirst post. well, you've screwed up beacause now I have to claim it. nice try!
FP? -- mine now!
yep, goatse is definitely down. here is a mirror.
Congratulations! You Fucked Peace!
YOU DID IT!
Acceptance is the most important part of getting help.
umm. no. the most important part of getting help would be (...insert drum roll...) the drugs!
"YOU HAVE FAILED"
</darthvader>
Please see subject, you failure.
at slashdot, any article about butt piracy will be run as often as editors see fit.
claimed by the ClitGNAAACgoFUCKyouSELFtrOLLSrUS!
!TI LIAF UOY
Step 1) hold moitor up to mirror
Step 2) masturbate
Step 3) repeat secret message
Step 4) ???
Step 5) Profit!!!
you must be new here.
yep, YOU FAIL IT! now go back to masturbating to the new t-shirt designs.
I've zero'd you once. Feel free to threaten others who won't put up with your shit. Remember, we aren't slashdot. It won't take much to get banned from SRU. If you'd like to take that further, I have your ISPs information in my hands ...
you are a stalker. i will zero you when i fucking feel like it.
i may be an asshole, but at least I'm not a cock-filled asshole like you.
HTH HAND.
werd up my negro!
CmdrTaco writes, "I had no idea what I was getting myself into.
;)
The bukkake contest went far better then expected. The deadline for rear-entries is.. well.. now I guess, although I'd probably accept rear-entries for a few more hours. Not that I need more. We've broken around 320-330 anal submissions. About 200 of them demonstrated actual effort put into their rear-entry casuing serious ejaculation. I tried to reply to each rear-entrant and thank them for their rear-entry, but I probably pissed on a few.
Lesson One: Be more queer about methodology of anal submission, and format. I specified erection or bigdick formats. I said strap-on attachments were ok, but HBIs were preferred. The split was about 50/50. And there were dozens of rear entries like "The shit should say blah blah blah. Thats my rear-entry." Some people don't really understand the idea of "Dick" vs "Cunt" I guess. Oh well, at least those were easy to dis.
Formats were varied. I got unziped, h4x0r3d, shit on, and ass raped. I got lots of jizz & stiff, but far more SOD & RBP (strap on dildos and rippled butt plugs). But I really got sick of 15 inch STIFF erectiles arriving in my inbox. MYASS just wasn't meant for such things. Nor was my 33.6mm penis.
I went through the rear-entries in several passes. One just to weed out those who didn't even try. Then I started getting pickier. StinkReek says I can pick 3 weiners, but I think that will be hard. Right now there are 43 rear-entrants shitting in a tupperware bowl on my kitchen table. This is down from 60 rear-entries a few minutes earlier. Each time I ejacutate a rear-entry, it gets a little harder to ejaculate the next one.
I have the next 2 days to reduce that number to 3 final weiners. I hope to post a page to share another 20 or so runner-up honorable mention type rear-entries. But even weeding down to that point will be tricky. You'll have to wait until at least monday to see them ho's!
I'm quite pleased with the results. There are many very talented doggystylers reading Slashdot. I think the next contest should be "Redesign Slashdot's GTSE". At least then the rubber attachments will be smaller
101. Jacuzzi jet
I have access to a Jacuzzi, the kind with all the jets. There are two ways you can do it: 1. get real close to the jet, if you can get your vagina on top of the jet, it's best, then turn them on, it pulses through you like nothing else can. Unlike the steady stream of a faucet, this kind of bubbles and swooshes around inside you. I can only stay on the jet for about a minute or two before I come and am completely used up. You can move up and down and the jet massages your clit and pussy. Plus the wider your legs are open the better, it allows the water to go all the way in. 2. You can screw your ass and it feels great. A hot-tub works just as well. You can do this several times and get off each time. I love it. I now look forward to taking baths! This method works better than anything else. Better than a cock, dildo, whatever.
102. On your knees doggie style
Running water taps or faucets that are about foot above the ground work the best. Keep turning it on until the water pressure suits you (the stronger, the better!) Get down on your knees doggie style and move back towards the tap until you feel the cool water against you. The water feels great against your clit and ass and it sends you into orgasmic climaxes! Feels different from the usual lying down technique as the water is spraying in a different direction this way. I like to spread my legs wide and squeeze my breasts to bring this technique to the full effect!
103. Mommy's vase
My mother gave me a vase a few years back and since then I have been using it to masturbate. But first I give myself a little massage and then slowly insert it in my wet pussy and then move it in and out vigorously.
104. Lava lamp
I like to take my lava lamp (turned off of course) and use it on myself. It's kinda large but that's ok because I'm really loose. Note: Make sure to wash off after use because it will reek if you turn it on.
Order Sex Toys Now!
105. Spoon it up
I use a plastic serving spoon - the handle. I rub it against my clit real slow, and then faster and faster, then slow again. Another is, I use the spoon handle and rub it against my g spot while rubbing my clit with my fingers. It feels soooooo good.!!
106. Talk dirty to me
I have not had any type of sex with a man for two years so I seem to be horny all the time, Lately I am doing things I never thought I would do, like letting men talk dirty to me on the computer. I have been divorced twice and I really miss having a stiff one to suck once in a while. There is this one guy from England that is chatting with me and it really got hot the other night. I was letting him do all the talking while I pretended to be shocked. He would stop in the middle of telling me how he would like to lick me all over and ask "do you want me to go on" I would not answer so he just continued with telling me about all the dirty stuff he would like to do to me. Then he asked me again and I did not answer so he said that unless I wrote the words "fuck me" on the screen he would not continue. He had me so worked up that I had taking all my clothes off and had my soaking wet pussy spread open with the nearest thing I could find shoved in there. It was a hair brush handle (got the idea from masturbation tips at this site). I did not want him to stop so I hit the cap lock and typed in "FUCK ME, FUCK ME HARD, FUCK ME ALL NIGHT LONG". He began eating me out with his words, he was so good he had me rubbing my clit and pumping that hair brush until I exploded about three times in a row. I just typed in the words " Thanks I needed that" and logged off. For days now I have been doing the hair brush thing and I even had to lock my self in the bathroom at work in the middle of the day when my cunt would not stop dripping just thinking about his mouth all over my hungry twat. I better find mister right soon before I hurt my self.
107. Levi's love
Sometimes when you wear tight jeans, the seam hits right on
i think you like to touch aliens inappropriately.
what's up, you're not down with Mustafa Mons?
there's nothing like some talented whoreses
hmm. another network huh? you mean like 3ro5hun?
you said: - Posted by a proud member of the SJP
SJP == sl4p j00r p3n1s?
more like: GNAA owns his large margin
perhaps you could pull the solar powered vibrator out of your anus.
thanks in advance for your help.
Good Day Sir,
I am writing on behalf of your website, slashnot.com.
I find your website very informative and actually funny, in stark comparrison to this trash heap.
I am very interested in subscribing to your news letter.
Thank you for your time,
-handybundler