Open source doesn't need any stupid quality standards. These things are completely stupid, and only for retarded corporations that use complicated processes to manage the lives of programmers like Big Brother manages the lives of puny peasants in 1984.
Free software is known to deliver quality software without stupid standards. People just program whatever they feel like programming. They do it because it is fun. Not because some stupid idiotic manager who thinks he's hot schitt because he has an MBA is breathing down your neck and yelling at the programmer for not making quality software fast enough and cheap enough. They don't understand anything about software and they think they can make stuff better by making up quality standards.
Not only do they expect the impossible in a shorter amount of time and they don't give you the TIME to make up good software, but then they make up quality standards as if to add insult to injury.
That is why F/OSS is so much better than this commercial garbage. Because F/OSS makes everything better without the need for any of this stupid management crap. F/OSS. Because friends don't let friends use commercial software.
I'm going to open up a huge company. Using billions of investor dollars, I am going to buy all the record labels, all the music companies, all the studios and movie companies... In other words, all the content providers. I'll sell off all the portions of these companies that I don't need for my scheme.
Then, I'll turn all of these into a new company. I'll call it "Share Media." This company will do three things:
It will provide content. Music. Movies. Books. Software. All of these products will bear the "Share Media" name.
It will provide technology to copy that content. MP3 players. CD and DVD recorders. Ripping and burning software. Filesharing software. All of these products will bear the "Share Media" name.
It will litigate piracy cases. People who buy Share Media media and then share it through products made by Share Media will be sued for piracy.
This will provide a good way for Share Media to make huge profits. Basically, people will buy our media, be encouraged to share it through the means we provide, and then we'll sue them for it.
The way I see it, if a menu option is dimmed, you should be able to click on it anyway. Just that instead of performing its usual function, it will put a window explaining why the damned thing is grayed.
Like, if you're in a web browser, and you click the "Navigation" menu, and the item "Forward" is grayed out, you should be able to click on it and this message will pop up (unless you have a pop up blocker, in which case it will crash your computer) that explains, "This menu item is dimmed out because it's for going forward after going backward, but you haven't gone backward yet. For more information, call 1-900-HELP-ME!, and it will only cost $19.95 for the first minute and $1.95 for each minute thereafter, and you'll be on hold for at least two hours before a rude customer support asshole comes on the line and reads the wrong information off the screen, and you'll still have to pay. Bwaaaahaahahhaahahahahha!"
Actually, disregard this post... I'm going to patent this and charge anyone who later implements this.
As it turns out, on page 198 you can see that UNIX Systems Laboratories agreed that the named sections could be used by the BSDs because as it turned out they, USL, stole stuff from BSD without permission... As it turned out, both sides had borrowed code from both sides.
In the case of $C0, those peaces of garbage stole code from Linux and misappropriated it into their software. A theft did NOT occur in the opposite direction.
And they're not very confident that they're going to win, those idiots. They just capped the lawyers' payments. THEY ARE GONNA LOSE! Nanny nanny boo boo.
Why don't you Jack Hasses learn how to spel, damnit?!???!!!???!?! The word "Support" has TWO P's, not one or three or four but TWO!! TWO P's! What am I supposed to do with an empty case?!???!?!
"established business relationship" eh? That sounds to me like taking your amigo out to lunch at a fancy restaurant, talking girls, cars, and horseracing the whole time, and then asking, "How's business?", which is answered, "Good.", and then writing it off on your taxes as a business expense.
Actually, though, I wouldn't mind them allowing this, IF AND ONLY IF the following provision(s) existed: Telemarketers could call IF AND ONLY IF they would send a payment of $100 to the person being called EACH TIME they called, with NO strings attached to the payment, PLUS $5 for every minute the person being called is kept on the phone, where each minute begins in the first second of that minute, with no pro-rating of minutes, and the recording is made to repeat in a loop indefinitely, such that the person being called may, at his option, listen to the same recording an infinite number of times, or simply put the phone down and keep the line open, to increase the amount of the payment, with a mandatory federal sentence of 50 years being applied to each stockholder and employee of the offending company if they are reported not to have sent the funds within a reasonable amount of time, or three days, whichever is shorter, even if they have proof that they have. Then, I wouldn't mind.
I am going to patent taking a shit. I'll title the patent: Method and Apparatus for Removing Human Feces from the Human Body and Placing Same in Feces Collection and Disposal Apparatus.
Then, I'll install a money collector, along with a credit card machine, on every toilet sold in the U.S. I'll make millions!!!! Bwaaaahahahahahahahahahahah!
I'd bet you that the USPTO employees won't EVER figure out that some amount of prior art (though I won't tell you where it is) already exists.
Uh, in other news, the United States has announced that it is naming portions of China national parks, so that future Americans can enjoy these national treasures once China becomes the 53rd state (after Afghanistan and Iraq, but before Antarctica).
You know, why don't we begin designating portions of other planets and heavenly bodies as national parks, too? I suppose it would be a good idea to name portions of all the planets in the solar system, including all of their satellites, national parks for the purpose of preserving these areas for future generations.
It would be a good idea to allocate about one or two trillion dollars to create a new government agency, called the Bureau of Interplanetary National Preservation and Wildlife Protection Agency. The BINPWPA, pronounced Binapwapa, after an Inuit chief who lived over three hundred years ago, would perform research to determine which areas should be named national parks on these planets. Once this is complete, they could proceed to protect regions of the sun, followed by stars, planets, asteroids, and even regions of space itself. This would be very innovative, as it would allow future generations to enjoy these wonderful national treasures.
The federal government of the United States of America (NASDAQ: BUSH) today announced that it is fed up with problems caused by its over-reliance on computer hardware from Dell and computer operating systems and applications software from Microsoft. Information technology directors in 127 government offices agree that a problem, technically called "monoculture", places many government systems at risk and reduces the country's national security.
To solve the problem, an executive order has been issued from the office of the president to phase out all non-Dell hardware platforms and all non-Microsoft operating systems and applications software within the next five years. The project, called the Millenium Efficient Government Computing Act of 2005, will cost an estimated eight trillion dollars in replaced equipment and software licenses alone.
"We are excited to work with the federal government on improvements to the country's IT systems," stated Steve Ballmer, Microsoft's CEO. "Our improved software, coupled with an all-Dell platform, will give the country the reliable technology it needs to proceed through this portion of the twenty-first century."
By leveraging innovative technologies, content providers streamline compelling enterprise solutions.
The project is scheduled to begin immediately, with plans to push federal legislation through the Congress which would make it mandatory for all state and local governments to switch to an all-Dell and all-Microsoft IT strategy.
Dude. Run all your apps in a jail (FreeBSD), UML (Linux), virtual machine like VMware (Windows), etc. When they need to be networked, tunnel the connections over SSH. So you'll have several "layers" of network running over the same physical network.
Say you have an ERP application from one vendor, a CRM application from another, and middleware from another. On each server at your facility, run a virtual machine and run that application in the virtual machine. Connect the virtual machines through SSH tunnels that run from virtual machine on one physical machine to virtual machine on another physical machine.
This will increase processing time, necessary hardware, administration, etc., in other words, COST, but this can be considered a necessary security cost.
In the meantime, I would get a software development department, organize a SourceForge project for each application you guys need, or join an existing such project, and implement in-house free software versions of the same things. You can rest assured that other businesses have similar needs, and these free software projects will eventually replace the expensive vendor controlled versions that you run now. This will decrease costs in the long run.
Any system administrator who thinks that IE is more secure than any other piece of software is not a system administrator at all. Nay, he has the mental capacity of a dead fly.
IE is not secure. Nor is it more secure than other software.
To compare the security of various packages, do this:
Install a Linux box. Install it with 10 NICs connected to 10 DS-3 connections to the Internet, with static IPs. Use no firewall. Open every port. Install every service. Run everything under 'root'. Serve web pages explaining that you have done this. Provide all of the static IPs and the root password. Offer a reward to anybody who manages to 0wn your box. Pay Google to place ads in its search results to bring people to your site. Go in all the IRC channels and tell everyone.
Install a Windows XP box. Run IE.
My guess is that the box running IE will physically explode within 10 seconds of starting IE. The box running Linux? It will take a day or so for it to get compromised.
Conclusion? IE less secure.
Re:Allow copying and increase profits!
on
TV Piracy is Next
·
· Score: 1
Nah. Just count how many times the damn thing is downloaded from various file sharing schemes, and then make an estimate how many times it is shared beyond the ability to count.
A simple layer of foil isn't going to stop Jack Schitt, but what these Jack Hasses want to do is fool the public into thinking that it does something to make everyone safe. But it doesn't do Jack Schitt. They want to know where everyone is. They'll put sensors everywhere. It's going to be very dangerous. 1984. War is peace. Freedom is slavery. Ignorance is strength. We're all gonna die!!!!!
...technology they hope will one day turn the humble telephone booth into a high-tech chamber for beaming...
Yeah, like any company will actually be stupid enough to pay for this.
It would be too expensive to install this technology in all the phone booths. Currently, public telephones are expensive enough to install without having to put an entire computer, a hologram machine, and video equipment in the booth.
Telephone calls would have to cost too much to justify the technology. The phone company would perform an economic analysis and find that demand for these types of calls is almost a negative number, while the costs to implement it are high. Therefore, it will be impossible to break even on the installation of the new equipment.
If these phone booths are such technologically advanced chambers, some asshole like me would come in the middle of the night, tie a chain from a truck to the phone booth, yank the damn thing out of the ground, and take it home, where I'd hook it up to my Linux box running kernel 3.2 and X.org version 9 (remember, this is in the future) with a module called Holorama, a fork of Xinerama, and then use the phone booth to look at pr0n in 3D.
...progressive geeks who believe government should do more than provide military defense...
Uh, yeah, I can really see a bunch of Slashcrackers over here who want the government to do all the stuff that we're all paranoid that they might--or pissed off that they already--do. This is obviously a troll placed directly on the front page!!!
Allow copying and increase profits!
on
TV Piracy is Next
·
· Score: 1
Instead of being concerned about this, why not leverage it in the marketing of the organization? TV shows being pirated? That might be bad if you consider the show to be your valuable intellectual property. However, if you come to the realization that nearly all television shows are completely unintellectual, you can turn them into a vehicle for delivering advertising.
Here's how. First of all, there will always be couch potatoes who actually watch the television and are so brain-dead that they actually watch the commercials. But that's not the point. The following is:
If advertising is placed directly in the television show, for example, through product placement, then the more the show is copied--that is, you stop thinking of it as being pirated, but as merely being copied--the wider the distribution of the advertising, and the more the television channel and the makers of the show can charge for the ad and product placement.
Ever seen that Jim Carrey movie where he lives in that huge dome and his whole life is a television show? Suddenly, characters would hold up a product in mid show and talk about its merits, right in front of him, and he didn't understand what the heck was going on. At first glance, that appears a cheap and stupid way to do it, but think of how valuable it might be. Consider this: No more commercial interruptions. The commercials become part of the show itself. Product placement, characters talking about a product or service... these are the easy ways to do it. A more sophisticated way would be to write the show around the products being advertised, and to do it in such a way that it doesn't detract from the show.
Example: Ever seen the commercial of the guy who will "Fight for you" if you're in an accident? So... make one of the show's characters get in an accident in one episode, call that lawyer, and then show how that lawyer kicks some legal ass and gets them serious money for their injury. Ever seen those plumbing commercials? Have a show where everything goes wrong with the plumbing (it could be made very comical and funny) and show the plumber showing up on time, smelling clean, and fixing the pipes. How difficult could that be? People will pirate, er, copy this stuff, increasing the distribution of the ads without costing the network anything; it would eliminate the need for lawsuits because the behavior would be desired by the company; and consumers would feel better about being able to do so without getting busted. Kind of in the same way that many/.ers feel good about copying free software.
In other words, information wants to be free. So instead of trying to fight it through artificial means that only cause problems, why not leverage this inherent property of information to:
Eliminate commercials as we know them today
Place the commercials into the show in funny, amusing, or subtle ways
Eliminate the legal problems associated with fighting piracy
Increase revenue without significantly increasing cost
It's not that hard, people. All it takes is for those aging, gray haired executives who have NO IMAGINATION to think outside the little square that their minds have been squeezed into.
Dude, this site is all Slashcracked. How come/. doesn't have a Google-style cache (you could easily set it up using the Squid, with all links on the front page leading to the cache, rather than the original? Nobody would ever get/.ed that way.
If you're worried that owners of the linked sites won't get usage statistics, the cache could be set up to count how many times it was accessed, and the statistics could be emailed to the site owner. The email would look something like this:
To: webmaster@slashdotted.site.com From: CmdrTaco@slashdot.org Subject: You were/.ed! Date: Today
From the because-your-site-rocks-and-we-cached-the-damn-thi ng department:
Guess what? Your site was/.ed! But don't worry, our cache prevented millions of users from bringing your servers to their knees. Here are your usage statistics:
Well if your camera phone is gonna be a 7 megapixel, then maybe the new DSLRs of the next few years will be, like, 100 megapixel.
That would be cool, because you could shoot film-quality photographs at poster size if you wanted.
I can't wait until the first gigapixel camera. Which reminds me of the time an old friend of mine and I were talking about computers. I had a whole whopping 150 megs of hard drive space. Your cheapest computer today comes with more megs of RAM than that. He was a hard core computer geek, though, and he had around 300 megs of hard drive space. I thought that was a ridiculously large hard drive. It seemed like an endless amount of space that would never fill up completely. Anyway, he told me about this guy who had a "gigabyte", pronouncing the first "G" in "gigabyte" like the "G" in "giant"... Nobody pronounces "gigabyte" like that anymore. I was like, "What the hell is a gigabyte?" He said something along the lines of, "I don't know, but it's a LOT of space!" I was like, "Holy shit." Nowadays the cheapest hard drive has like 20 gigabytes, and most computers come with at least 40. And that space fills up so fast with applications and junk that it's not enough. I can't believe that shit.
So I can't wait until the first gigapixel camera. Shit, you'll be able to shoot a 60' by 40' photograph and get film-quality results. We could send that thing to like Mars or something.
I suppose its better than getting modded troll when I say something insightful and insightful when I troll or flamebait like usual.
Sounds to me like Slashcrack over here should add a few buttons under the Submit and Preview buttons... Buttons that let you self-moderate, so moderators know what kind of score you're going for. That way, when you troll, you push troll, and so on.
Forget these stupid optical mice. What they need to do is bring back the little ball thing that gets hair and dust in it, so the mouse cursor only moves horizontally when you move the mouse diagonally. But the advantage will be they'll put a generator on the little ball thing, so when you move the mouse, you will generate the electricity necessary to transmit the mouse position back to the computer.
Or better yet, keep the optical thing, so the mouse moves accurately and doesn't annoy the living "F" word out of you, and then add the ball thing to generate the electricity.
Or better yet, get rid of the stupid ball thing and add a special device that collects the heat from your hand when you operate the mouse, and converts that into electricity. And then, when everybody's mouse is like that, the excess energy will be used to power government computer systems, and then we will live in the Matrix.
All that from a stupid mouse. Who cares anyway if the cottonpicking thing needs a battery to operate? That's a small price to pay when it allows you to avoid slavery to machines.
dude the subject said the aol throne and i was thinking it would be like a toilet made of aol cds. then i came up with an ingenious idea. why not make up a bunch of bathroom aol stuff. an aol toilet. aol toilet paper. an aol plunger. shit like that. that would be good. it would provide aol with much needed advertising. because nobody knows what the fuck aol is. except that aol sends cds in the mail that you throw in the garbage. and that when you have a po box and you get a notice for mail and you have to wait fifteen minutes in line and what you get is an aol cd rom and that is really really really annoying. because you just wasted fifteen minutes of your valuable time. thinking you were gonna get mail. but instead you got an aol cd rom. which you put in the garbage. and it would send the correct message. that you put shit and piss into aol. and that is what you get out of it too. because aol sucks. it stands for always off line. or it stands for fuck you asshole. except then it would be called fya. but its called aol. oh well.
I have an idea. By law, every computer monitor should have a videocamera embedded in it that records everything about the user. His facial expressions, things he says, etc.
And by law, every computer should have embedded technology that records all keys pressed on the keyboard, and even the time elapsed between key presses, and every mouse stroke, and every mouse button pressed, and everything displayed on the screen, and every instruction processed by the CPU, and every data on the hard drive, and all this information should be transferred over mandatory satellite connections directly to the government, which would have a data center that would make the all of the top 500 computers in the world look like one of the transistors in a chip you find in a two dollar calculator that doesn't work, and this data center would be a grid of supercomputers that each would be a single-system image grid of 100,000 computers, each of which would have 64 processors, 100 terabytes of RAM, and 100 terabytes of disk space, and this system would advanced search technology to monitor every single computation occuring in the world, and it would cross reference all network communications occuring in the world, and it would figure out, through extrapolation, interpolation, triangulation, some incredibly complicated computations, and psychohistory (an emerging field which uses mathematics, an incredibly detailed history of events in the world, and knowledge of the position and velocity of every single subatomic particle in the universe) and modeling technologies, what each individual is doing at any moment in time, and using that information, it would deploy automated robots which would arrest, convict, and put to death any and all violators of any law, no matter how big or how small. So, suppose you charge a friend one cent to cut his hair... The system would detect this six days in advance, and before the person even comes up with the idea of violating the law, a robot would show up at his house, break down the whole front wall, go inside, and blow his brains out.
This would allow the government to better control its subjects. In other words, by leveraging innovative technologies, content providers streamline compelling enterprise solutions.
Slashdot Mirror
Free software is known to deliver quality software without stupid standards. People just program whatever they feel like programming. They do it because it is fun. Not because some stupid idiotic manager who thinks he's hot schitt because he has an MBA is breathing down your neck and yelling at the programmer for not making quality software fast enough and cheap enough. They don't understand anything about software and they think they can make stuff better by making up quality standards.
Not only do they expect the impossible in a shorter amount of time and they don't give you the TIME to make up good software, but then they make up quality standards as if to add insult to injury.
That is why F/OSS is so much better than this commercial garbage. Because F/OSS makes everything better without the need for any of this stupid management crap. F/OSS. Because friends don't let friends use commercial software.
Then, I'll turn all of these into a new company. I'll call it "Share Media." This company will do three things:
- It will provide content. Music. Movies. Books. Software. All of these products will bear the "Share Media" name.
- It will provide technology to copy that content. MP3 players. CD and DVD recorders. Ripping and burning software. Filesharing software. All of these products will bear the "Share Media" name.
- It will litigate piracy cases. People who buy Share Media media and then share it through products made by Share Media will be sued for piracy.
This will provide a good way for Share Media to make huge profits. Basically, people will buy our media, be encouraged to share it through the means we provide, and then we'll sue them for it.So I've finally figured it out!!!
- Invent something.
- Invent a way for people to share it.
- ??? (Sue people for sharing it.)
- Profit!!!
Yup. That's Sony.Like, if you're in a web browser, and you click the "Navigation" menu, and the item "Forward" is grayed out, you should be able to click on it and this message will pop up (unless you have a pop up blocker, in which case it will crash your computer) that explains, "This menu item is dimmed out because it's for going forward after going backward, but you haven't gone backward yet. For more information, call 1-900-HELP-ME!, and it will only cost $19.95 for the first minute and $1.95 for each minute thereafter, and you'll be on hold for at least two hours before a rude customer support asshole comes on the line and reads the wrong information off the screen, and you'll still have to pay. Bwaaaahaahahhaahahahahha!"
Actually, disregard this post... I'm going to patent this and charge anyone who later implements this.
i don't get the thing about the sperm sample. but that's ok, i'm a lesbian, so big deal.
In the case of $C0, those peaces of garbage stole code from Linux and misappropriated it into their software. A theft did NOT occur in the opposite direction.
And they're not very confident that they're going to win, those idiots. They just capped the lawyers' payments. THEY ARE GONNA LOSE! Nanny nanny boo boo.
Why don't you Jack Hasses learn how to spel, damnit?!???!!!???!?! The word "Support" has TWO P's, not one or three or four but TWO!! TWO P's! What am I supposed to do with an empty case?!???!?!
Actually, though, I wouldn't mind them allowing this, IF AND ONLY IF the following provision(s) existed: Telemarketers could call IF AND ONLY IF they would send a payment of $100 to the person being called EACH TIME they called, with NO strings attached to the payment, PLUS $5 for every minute the person being called is kept on the phone, where each minute begins in the first second of that minute, with no pro-rating of minutes, and the recording is made to repeat in a loop indefinitely, such that the person being called may, at his option, listen to the same recording an infinite number of times, or simply put the phone down and keep the line open, to increase the amount of the payment, with a mandatory federal sentence of 50 years being applied to each stockholder and employee of the offending company if they are reported not to have sent the funds within a reasonable amount of time, or three days, whichever is shorter, even if they have proof that they have. Then, I wouldn't mind.
Then, I'll install a money collector, along with a credit card machine, on every toilet sold in the U.S. I'll make millions!!!! Bwaaaahahahahahahahahahahah!
I'd bet you that the USPTO employees won't EVER figure out that some amount of prior art (though I won't tell you where it is) already exists.
Uh, in other news, the United States has announced that it is naming portions of China national parks, so that future Americans can enjoy these national treasures once China becomes the 53rd state (after Afghanistan and Iraq, but before Antarctica).
It would be a good idea to allocate about one or two trillion dollars to create a new government agency, called the Bureau of Interplanetary National Preservation and Wildlife Protection Agency. The BINPWPA, pronounced Binapwapa, after an Inuit chief who lived over three hundred years ago, would perform research to determine which areas should be named national parks on these planets. Once this is complete, they could proceed to protect regions of the sun, followed by stars, planets, asteroids, and even regions of space itself. This would be very innovative, as it would allow future generations to enjoy these wonderful national treasures.
November 27, 2004.
The federal government of the United States of America (NASDAQ: BUSH) today announced that it is fed up with problems caused by its over-reliance on computer hardware from Dell and computer operating systems and applications software from Microsoft. Information technology directors in 127 government offices agree that a problem, technically called "monoculture", places many government systems at risk and reduces the country's national security.
To solve the problem, an executive order has been issued from the office of the president to phase out all non-Dell hardware platforms and all non-Microsoft operating systems and applications software within the next five years. The project, called the Millenium Efficient Government Computing Act of 2005, will cost an estimated eight trillion dollars in replaced equipment and software licenses alone.
"We are excited to work with the federal government on improvements to the country's IT systems," stated Steve Ballmer, Microsoft's CEO. "Our improved software, coupled with an all-Dell platform, will give the country the reliable technology it needs to proceed through this portion of the twenty-first century."
By leveraging innovative technologies, content providers streamline compelling enterprise solutions.
The project is scheduled to begin immediately, with plans to push federal legislation through the Congress which would make it mandatory for all state and local governments to switch to an all-Dell and all-Microsoft IT strategy.
Say you have an ERP application from one vendor, a CRM application from another, and middleware from another. On each server at your facility, run a virtual machine and run that application in the virtual machine. Connect the virtual machines through SSH tunnels that run from virtual machine on one physical machine to virtual machine on another physical machine.
This will increase processing time, necessary hardware, administration, etc., in other words, COST, but this can be considered a necessary security cost.
In the meantime, I would get a software development department, organize a SourceForge project for each application you guys need, or join an existing such project, and implement in-house free software versions of the same things. You can rest assured that other businesses have similar needs, and these free software projects will eventually replace the expensive vendor controlled versions that you run now. This will decrease costs in the long run.
Is this what Metallica was talking about when they wrote "Of Wolf and Man?"
IE is not secure. Nor is it more secure than other software.
To compare the security of various packages, do this:
Install a Linux box. Install it with 10 NICs connected to 10 DS-3 connections to the Internet, with static IPs. Use no firewall. Open every port. Install every service. Run everything under 'root'. Serve web pages explaining that you have done this. Provide all of the static IPs and the root password. Offer a reward to anybody who manages to 0wn your box. Pay Google to place ads in its search results to bring people to your site. Go in all the IRC channels and tell everyone.
Install a Windows XP box. Run IE.
My guess is that the box running IE will physically explode within 10 seconds of starting IE. The box running Linux? It will take a day or so for it to get compromised.
Conclusion? IE less secure.
Nah. Just count how many times the damn thing is downloaded from various file sharing schemes, and then make an estimate how many times it is shared beyond the ability to count.
A simple layer of foil isn't going to stop Jack Schitt, but what these Jack Hasses want to do is fool the public into thinking that it does something to make everyone safe. But it doesn't do Jack Schitt. They want to know where everyone is. They'll put sensors everywhere. It's going to be very dangerous. 1984. War is peace. Freedom is slavery. Ignorance is strength. We're all gonna die!!!!!
Yeah, like any company will actually be stupid enough to pay for this.
- It would be too expensive to install this technology in all the phone booths. Currently, public telephones are expensive enough to install without having to put an entire computer, a hologram machine, and video equipment in the booth.
- Telephone calls would have to cost too much to justify the technology. The phone company would perform an economic analysis and find that demand for these types of calls is almost a negative number, while the costs to implement it are high. Therefore, it will be impossible to break even on the installation of the new equipment.
- If these phone booths are such technologically advanced chambers, some asshole like me would come in the middle of the night, tie a chain from a truck to the phone booth, yank the damn thing out of the ground, and take it home, where I'd hook it up to my Linux box running kernel 3.2 and X.org version 9 (remember, this is in the future) with a module called Holorama, a fork of Xinerama, and then use the phone booth to look at pr0n in 3D.
That's why it'll never happen. Oh well.Uh, yeah, I can really see a bunch of Slashcrackers over here who want the government to do all the stuff that we're all paranoid that they might--or pissed off that they already--do. This is obviously a troll placed directly on the front page!!!
Here's how. First of all, there will always be couch potatoes who actually watch the television and are so brain-dead that they actually watch the commercials. But that's not the point. The following is:
If advertising is placed directly in the television show, for example, through product placement, then the more the show is copied--that is, you stop thinking of it as being pirated, but as merely being copied--the wider the distribution of the advertising, and the more the television channel and the makers of the show can charge for the ad and product placement.
Ever seen that Jim Carrey movie where he lives in that huge dome and his whole life is a television show? Suddenly, characters would hold up a product in mid show and talk about its merits, right in front of him, and he didn't understand what the heck was going on. At first glance, that appears a cheap and stupid way to do it, but think of how valuable it might be. Consider this: No more commercial interruptions. The commercials become part of the show itself. Product placement, characters talking about a product or service... these are the easy ways to do it. A more sophisticated way would be to write the show around the products being advertised, and to do it in such a way that it doesn't detract from the show.
Example: Ever seen the commercial of the guy who will "Fight for you" if you're in an accident? So... make one of the show's characters get in an accident in one episode, call that lawyer, and then show how that lawyer kicks some legal ass and gets them serious money for their injury. Ever seen those plumbing commercials? Have a show where everything goes wrong with the plumbing (it could be made very comical and funny) and show the plumber showing up on time, smelling clean, and fixing the pipes. How difficult could that be? People will pirate, er, copy this stuff, increasing the distribution of the ads without costing the network anything; it would eliminate the need for lawsuits because the behavior would be desired by the company; and consumers would feel better about being able to do so without getting busted. Kind of in the same way that many /.ers feel good about copying free software.
In other words, information wants to be free. So instead of trying to fight it through artificial means that only cause problems, why not leverage this inherent property of information to:
- Eliminate commercials as we know them today
- Place the commercials into the show in funny, amusing, or subtle ways
- Eliminate the legal problems associated with fighting piracy
- Increase revenue without significantly increasing cost
It's not that hard, people. All it takes is for those aging, gray haired executives who have NO IMAGINATION to think outside the little square that their minds have been squeezed into.In other words, I've figured it out:
If you're worried that owners of the linked sites won't get usage statistics, the cache could be set up to count how many times it was accessed, and the statistics could be emailed to the site owner. The email would look something like this:
You get the idea.That would be cool, because you could shoot film-quality photographs at poster size if you wanted.
I can't wait until the first gigapixel camera. Which reminds me of the time an old friend of mine and I were talking about computers. I had a whole whopping 150 megs of hard drive space. Your cheapest computer today comes with more megs of RAM than that. He was a hard core computer geek, though, and he had around 300 megs of hard drive space. I thought that was a ridiculously large hard drive. It seemed like an endless amount of space that would never fill up completely. Anyway, he told me about this guy who had a "gigabyte", pronouncing the first "G" in "gigabyte" like the "G" in "giant"... Nobody pronounces "gigabyte" like that anymore. I was like, "What the hell is a gigabyte?" He said something along the lines of, "I don't know, but it's a LOT of space!" I was like, "Holy shit." Nowadays the cheapest hard drive has like 20 gigabytes, and most computers come with at least 40. And that space fills up so fast with applications and junk that it's not enough. I can't believe that shit.
So I can't wait until the first gigapixel camera. Shit, you'll be able to shoot a 60' by 40' photograph and get film-quality results. We could send that thing to like Mars or something.
Sounds to me like Slashcrack over here should add a few buttons under the Submit and Preview buttons... Buttons that let you self-moderate, so moderators know what kind of score you're going for. That way, when you troll, you push troll, and so on.
Or better yet, keep the optical thing, so the mouse moves accurately and doesn't annoy the living "F" word out of you, and then add the ball thing to generate the electricity.
Or better yet, get rid of the stupid ball thing and add a special device that collects the heat from your hand when you operate the mouse, and converts that into electricity. And then, when everybody's mouse is like that, the excess energy will be used to power government computer systems, and then we will live in the Matrix.
All that from a stupid mouse. Who cares anyway if the cottonpicking thing needs a battery to operate? That's a small price to pay when it allows you to avoid slavery to machines.
dude the subject said the aol throne and i was thinking it would be like a toilet made of aol cds. then i came up with an ingenious idea. why not make up a bunch of bathroom aol stuff. an aol toilet. aol toilet paper. an aol plunger. shit like that. that would be good. it would provide aol with much needed advertising. because nobody knows what the fuck aol is. except that aol sends cds in the mail that you throw in the garbage. and that when you have a po box and you get a notice for mail and you have to wait fifteen minutes in line and what you get is an aol cd rom and that is really really really annoying. because you just wasted fifteen minutes of your valuable time. thinking you were gonna get mail. but instead you got an aol cd rom. which you put in the garbage. and it would send the correct message. that you put shit and piss into aol. and that is what you get out of it too. because aol sucks. it stands for always off line. or it stands for fuck you asshole. except then it would be called fya. but its called aol. oh well.
And by law, every computer should have embedded technology that records all keys pressed on the keyboard, and even the time elapsed between key presses, and every mouse stroke, and every mouse button pressed, and everything displayed on the screen, and every instruction processed by the CPU, and every data on the hard drive, and all this information should be transferred over mandatory satellite connections directly to the government, which would have a data center that would make the all of the top 500 computers in the world look like one of the transistors in a chip you find in a two dollar calculator that doesn't work, and this data center would be a grid of supercomputers that each would be a single-system image grid of 100,000 computers, each of which would have 64 processors, 100 terabytes of RAM, and 100 terabytes of disk space, and this system would advanced search technology to monitor every single computation occuring in the world, and it would cross reference all network communications occuring in the world, and it would figure out, through extrapolation, interpolation, triangulation, some incredibly complicated computations, and psychohistory (an emerging field which uses mathematics, an incredibly detailed history of events in the world, and knowledge of the position and velocity of every single subatomic particle in the universe) and modeling technologies, what each individual is doing at any moment in time, and using that information, it would deploy automated robots which would arrest, convict, and put to death any and all violators of any law, no matter how big or how small. So, suppose you charge a friend one cent to cut his hair... The system would detect this six days in advance, and before the person even comes up with the idea of violating the law, a robot would show up at his house, break down the whole front wall, go inside, and blow his brains out.
This would allow the government to better control its subjects. In other words, by leveraging innovative technologies, content providers streamline compelling enterprise solutions.