Rational working conditions, eh? How 'bout your ambulance drivers, who work 24-hour shifts, in which they are on duty for 24 hours straight? Is that who you want driving your ambulance when your heart breaks or your brain blows up or something? I don't think so!
Truckers have a limit: They can drive a max of 10 hours after which they must by law have 8 hours of rest. Airline pilots have limits. Train drivers (conductors?!????!?!!!) have limits. How come your cottonpickin' muthufuckin' ambulance drivers don't got no limits like that? It's a pain in the arse to be on duty for that many friggen hours and stuff, ese.
So some programmer complains that he's producin' buggy code after 50 straight hours at the keyboard??! OBVIOUSLY! The way I see it, overtime reduces the quality of an application and increases:
Its cost, cuz you got more to pay for overtime, or at least for lights and computer and power and shit
The time it takes to make the damn program, cuz you gotta debug it and shit
So it is more better to simply stop gorking after 40 hours, and work only 8 hours a day, and relax and drink beer and have sex and like do other shit and shit.
The first episode of the show included an interview with Richard Stallman, who founded the GNU project...
That's it. I'm starting my own religion. I'm gonna call it Stallmanism. It will be exactly like Christianity, but instead of Jesus Christ, we have Richard Stallman.
Remember, Richard Stallman loves you. He coded for your sins.
To convert to this great new religion, simply send a Self Addressed Stamped Envelope, stuffed with hundred-dollar bills, to the address on your screen:
Free Software Foundation
59 Temple Place - Suite 330
Boston, MA 02111-1307 USA
...
Disclaimer: This retarded comment is not affiliated with, not is it sponsored in any way, by RMS or the FSF. It's just a joke. So get over it, asshole.
The Associated Press reports that Gert Mittring, 38, needed only 11.8 seconds to calculate the 13th root of a 100-digit number in his head at a math museum in Giessen, a small town, located in western Germany.
Wrong, you IDIOTS! He didn't compute Jack Schitt in his head. All he did was memorize every root of every number, and when they asked him, he waited 11.8 seconds, to make it look like he was thinking, and then he told them the answer.
Nobody can compute that kind of thing in their head.
That sounds like a really good deal. But I think I've got a better one. How 'bout I give Microsoft the finger, and they start replacing ALL pirated copies of their software with legitimate copies, FREE... That way, all you have to do to get Windows is pirate it from a friend, call Microsoft, tell them you have a pirated copy, and they'll send you a legitimate copy to replace it.
Hmmm, Mr. Anderson, you disappoint me.
You can't scare me with this gestapo crap. I know my rights, I want my legitimate copy.
Tell me, Mr. Anderson. What good is a legitimate copy of Windows if you can't use a computer?
I don't have a problem with mixing up all kinds of genetic materials to come up with weird creatures. It would be cool if some mutant monster thing got created that quickly multiplied, took over the whole planet, and enslaved us all.
Firefox looks promising, and Mozilla (the monstrosity that it is) looked promising before that, but honestly I have been using Opera since version 3 (now it's version 7.54) and I can tell you that crashes are not a problem. It's multiplatform, has a native FreeBSD build, and once you turn off all the stupid toolbars and fix a few of the default settings (which takes about five minutes to do after installation), it's a really good browser. I have to say that it's been one of the most satisfying pieces of software I've used.
I would recommend Firefox only if you have a need for 100% free software with source code and the whole shebang. But every time I tried to install and use a Mozilla based browser, I was left disappointed. Opera is definitely worth paying for.
Disclaimer: I am NOT in any way affiliated with the cool folks who make either of these browsers.
No no no no no... They should call this the INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY FREEDOM ACT. It will make it ILLEGAL to create, possess, use, traffic in, or otherwise have anything to do with intellectual property in any form. It will be the LAW that every intellectual property in existance must be DESTROYED. Books will be burned in huge bonfires. Same thing with paintings, music and movie recordings, film, software, documentation, and even people, because their brains contain intellectual property. When there is NO intellectual property in existance, there will no longer be any piracy, and then the problem will be SOLVED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111
This is bullshit. The universe's unchanging constants remain exactly the same over billions of years. This new atomic clock is not as accurate as they think. That is why in a few years it will look like the universe's constants are changing. But beleive me, the universe is staying the same. The clock is the one that changes. They are idiots if they think their stupid clock is going to detect changes in the universe, which remains the same. What a bunch of idiots. This is sacriledge. They're all going to hell.
I don't understand why writing an OS for something like the Mars rover or some spacecraft that's going to be on the other side of the universe needs to be such a difficult thing to do. It's just software. Why can't they just save the billions of taxpayer dollars and just install an old copy of Windows 95 on it? That would be good enough.
After all, nobody ever got fired for buying Microsoft. And putting Windows on Sputnik 2 gives a new meaning to "Where do you want to go today?"
A bug in Half Life 2 is perhaps the biggest problem being suffered by the human race in our time. Perhaps every government worldwide, every corporation, every organization, and every individual should stop everything they are doing at this moment, so that all the resources available to mankind can be allocated to correcting the bug in Half Life 2. Otherwise, we are doomed to destruction.
Good thing they didn't patent "ain't" because then I'd be fucked. I'm working on a new programming language, which has the "ain't" operator. (It works a little different than the "xain't" operator, which is like "eXclusive ain't.") Oh well.
When I realized that technology just ain't working out for me over here, I got into a completely different business... Garbage truck driving.
Yeah, you can laugh all you want. But being a union worker, I get paid more money than I did working on a computer, and the benefits are all there. Yeah, it smells kind of bad and shit, but who cares. It's easy money. Then, I go home and work out my complex investing problems using Mathematica and I make more money by investing in all kinds of instruments. It works pretty well.
This is a lie. Bush won. That means that all the votes were valid. All you sore loser Democrats quit wining and get used to the idea that Republicans are good and Democrats are evil.
(Of course, if Kerry had won, that would have been proof that the voting system is inadequate and flawed. But Bush won, so the voting system is perfect.)
This is a really bad idea. First of all, it will cause people to illegally share music, movies, software, and other valuable intellectual property. Because file sharing software makes the decisions, not its users.
By leveraging innovative technologies, content providers streamline compelling enterprise solutions.
The RIAA, MPAA, and Microsoft should get together to put a stop to this before it becomes a larger problem than it already is. That is, unless the FBI, CIA, the Justice Department, and the NSA figure out a way to keep track of which files are being shared, and then administer the death penalty without a trial.
I have an ingenious plan on how every government in the world can solve all its budget problems:
THE SEX TAX
Every male will have a chip installed in his sex organ. This chip would provide the following functions:
It would provide extra stimulation during the sex act.
Via a Bluetooth interface, the male would be able to specify sexual parameters, such as extra lasting time, longer orgasms, etc.
The chip would record all sexual activity and categorize it as follows:
Masturbation
Vaginal intercourse
Oral intercourse
Anal intercourse
Other intercourse
The male would have to report all sexual activity on a government document. Government computers would then match these documents against records received wirelessly from sex organ implants. (This step is performed to make the process error-prone on the male's part.)
The male would then be taxed accordingly. Mistakes made in filing the appropriate paperwork would result in interest, fines, interest on the fines, penalties, interest on the penalties, and interest on the interest.
This new technology would create a new revenue stream for the government. Additional benefits for the male include:
A spousal sex monitoring system, accessible via the web. Using this service, for which women could pay a monthly fee, wives will be able to monitor their husband's sexual activity, uncovering extramerital affairs, dirty masturbational habits, etc.
Proof of rape allegations. This service would provide women with a method of proving that a male had engaged in sexual intercourse with them. Of course, since there would be no female implant, a woman who is completely unrelated to the male, but who knows that the male had a sexual rendezvous at a certain time, could allege that the male had raped her. Proof would exist that the male had sex, but the male could not present any evidence that the sex had occurred with a different woman. According to the law, the male would be assumed guilty until proven innocent, and the law will provide for only one way for the male to prove his innocence: Sign all assets, property, and money over to the government.
The new law will be called: The Millenium Sexual Freedom Act of 2005.
Yes, this will obviously benefit both the male population, by providing innovative services that all males want, and the government, by providing a much needed revenue stream.
Of course, in the typical government style, the money would be used for anti-sex education.
Microsoft (NASDAQ: MSFT) today announced a strategic partnership with the Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA). By leveraging innovative technologies, content providers streamline compelling enterprise solutions. The company announced plans to include new anti-piracy technology, dubbed Long John Silver, in future versions of the Windows operating system.
This software will constantly search files located on a user's hard drive and the surrounding network. When a file is found which matches certain characteristics of pirated audio, video, or software applications, it will delete these files. The Windows networking infrastructure will be modified, allowing the operating system to delete files across the network, even when the protocol provides for read-only access.
"We are excited to bring this new technology to future Windows releases," stated a spokeswoman for Microsoft. "Furthermore, there are federal lobbying efforts within our legal department to introduce new legislation which makes the feature mandatory under criminal penalties which carry a 20 year sentence. This will end piracy once and for all."
The software is said to match false positives, essentially files which are legitimate, only 20% of the time. "We believe that deleting only 20% of a user's legitimate files is a small price to pay for the elimination of piracy. The consumer clearly receives the benefits of this technology," stated Steve Ballmer, CEO of Microsoft. "Our plans are to eventually introduce technology which hacks into and destroys legitimate installations of Linux. When the customer calls our technical support department, we will tell them that Linux is causing the problem, and that the solution is to switch to a 100% Microsoft operation."
The software is due to be released in 2006, the company said.
Disclaimer: This press release is made up. But I wouldn't be surprised if it were real.
I have an interesting idea: Pass new legislation that makes it ILLEGAL for an individual or small business with less than 1000 employees to obtain a patent. Then, only large businesses can obtain them. Further, some additional clauses in the legislation will require that such small businesses, if they wish to license the patent, will have to pay additional monies besides the license fees, such as additional taxes, penalties, and fines, which the government will spend on fancy furniture and catering for patent office employees. Any patent application filed by a corporation with 20,000 employees or more, or at least 5 billion dollars in liquid assets, will be automatically approved. Corporations smaller than this will have to go through a patent approval process, the complexity and expense of which will be inversely proportional to the size of the corporation. Thus, a corporation with the minimum 1,000 employees will have to endure the most difficult patent approval process, and a corporation with, say, 10,000 employees will go through a process only half as difficult.
This will balance out the patent system and make the system fair for all involved. Clearly, such a patent system will benefit the consumer.
What most scientists fail to take into consideration is the fact that the Earth's orbit around the sun does not remain constant over the centuries. It slowly shrinks over a period of, say, a thousand years, and then it slowly grows. While the orbit always lies within a certain range that leaves the planet hospitable to life, the temperature and other environmental factors change according to the Earth's distance from the sun.
Several hundred years ago, there was a lot more land on the planet, and less ocean. The increase in temperature caused by the Earth's slowly growing closer to the sun has caused the level of the oceans to rise, flooding a lot of cities that used to exist in what we now consider the ocean.
After a certain period of intense heat on the planet, when most of the planet will be covered in water, the planet will begin to move away from the sun over hundreds of years, until a period of tremendous cold is reached. At this point, there will be a tremendous amount of exposed land in what we now consider the ocean. Cities will again be constructed in these regions, and hundreds of years later, they will again be covered in water.
I know all of these facts are 100% true and correct, and I have undeniable proof: Two different people, who both claim they do not know each other, told me the same thing.
With Internet Explorer, Firefox, and Safari all free, is there room for a non-free browser in the market?
Heck yeah there's room. I use this browser, and have had 3 different customers purchase licenses for all computers on their facilities. These have been upgraded since version 3 (Opera is past version 7.5 now). It is a good browser, once you get rid of the extra toolbars and unnecessary menu options. It can be customized to any extent, and then you can simply copy those setup files over to another installation to get the look you want. It is an excellent browser.
I have an idea. Why doesn't Microsoft develop some valuable intellectual property that prevents the user of any Microsoft software from being able to access Google or any other search technology besides Microsoft's? That would be an intelligent business practice, because it would allow Microsoft to leverage its monopoly power to screw over the competitor and stop innovation. That is good for the consumer.
Microsoft. War is peace. Freedom is slavery. Ignorance is strength.
Heh. I've just had an episode of "computer rage" myself. Last week, I was working on an important group project for a class I'm taking. This project involves five other people. I had all of the information we gathered, as well as all of our notes and rough drafts, stored on my laptop. One day, I was working on the project when I got so mad about the looming deadline and the lack of progress over the past month that after hitting myself in the head quite a few times, I erased the directory that contained all the files (over 460 MB of information and work), and then defragged the hard drive to make sure that the data could not be retreived. Then, when I realized what I had done, I dropped the class.
The other members of my group didn't actively participate except minimally, so I don't feel bad about screwing them over.
How can we be sure that un-ethical companies will not try to steal code that is covered under the GPL and try to pass it off as their own?
Start a covert GPL enforcement militia group that goes around and, uh, takes care of GPL violators. The world will know that you do NOT steal GPL code, and then everything will be ok.
Slashdot Mirror
Rational working conditions, eh? How 'bout your ambulance drivers, who work 24-hour shifts, in which they are on duty for 24 hours straight? Is that who you want driving your ambulance when your heart breaks or your brain blows up or something? I don't think so!
Truckers have a limit: They can drive a max of 10 hours after which they must by law have 8 hours of rest. Airline pilots have limits. Train drivers (conductors?!????!?!!!) have limits. How come your cottonpickin' muthufuckin' ambulance drivers don't got no limits like that? It's a pain in the arse to be on duty for that many friggen hours and stuff, ese.
So some programmer complains that he's producin' buggy code after 50 straight hours at the keyboard??! OBVIOUSLY! The way I see it, overtime reduces the quality of an application and increases:
- Its cost, cuz you got more to pay for overtime, or at least for lights and computer and power and shit
- The time it takes to make the damn program, cuz you gotta debug it and shit
So it is more better to simply stop gorking after 40 hours, and work only 8 hours a day, and relax and drink beer and have sex and like do other shit and shit.Remember, Richard Stallman loves you. He coded for your sins.
To convert to this great new religion, simply send a Self Addressed Stamped Envelope, stuffed with hundred-dollar bills, to the address on your screen:
...Disclaimer: This retarded comment is not affiliated with, not is it sponsored in any way, by RMS or the FSF. It's just a joke. So get over it, asshole.
Wrong, you IDIOTS! He didn't compute Jack Schitt in his head. All he did was memorize every root of every number, and when they asked him, he waited 11.8 seconds, to make it look like he was thinking, and then he told them the answer.
Nobody can compute that kind of thing in their head.
Everyone has a PS2 (because it is cool) and a Xbox (because it runs Linux). Nobody gives a rat's ass about GameCube.
Oh well.
Hmmm, Mr. Anderson, you disappoint me.
You can't scare me with this gestapo crap. I know my rights, I want my legitimate copy.
Tell me, Mr. Anderson. What good is a legitimate copy of Windows if you can't use a computer?
I don't have a problem with mixing up all kinds of genetic materials to come up with weird creatures. It would be cool if some mutant monster thing got created that quickly multiplied, took over the whole planet, and enslaved us all.
I would recommend Firefox only if you have a need for 100% free software with source code and the whole shebang. But every time I tried to install and use a Mozilla based browser, I was left disappointed. Opera is definitely worth paying for.
Disclaimer: I am NOT in any way affiliated with the cool folks who make either of these browsers.
No no no no no... They should call this the INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY FREEDOM ACT. It will make it ILLEGAL to create, possess, use, traffic in, or otherwise have anything to do with intellectual property in any form. It will be the LAW that every intellectual property in existance must be DESTROYED. Books will be burned in huge bonfires. Same thing with paintings, music and movie recordings, film, software, documentation, and even people, because their brains contain intellectual property. When there is NO intellectual property in existance, there will no longer be any piracy, and then the problem will be SOLVED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111
This is bullshit. The universe's unchanging constants remain exactly the same over billions of years. This new atomic clock is not as accurate as they think. That is why in a few years it will look like the universe's constants are changing. But beleive me, the universe is staying the same. The clock is the one that changes. They are idiots if they think their stupid clock is going to detect changes in the universe, which remains the same. What a bunch of idiots. This is sacriledge. They're all going to hell.
After all, nobody ever got fired for buying Microsoft. And putting Windows on Sputnik 2 gives a new meaning to "Where do you want to go today?"
A bug in Half Life 2 is perhaps the biggest problem being suffered by the human race in our time. Perhaps every government worldwide, every corporation, every organization, and every individual should stop everything they are doing at this moment, so that all the resources available to mankind can be allocated to correcting the bug in Half Life 2. Otherwise, we are doomed to destruction.
I think they should just outlaw porn. After all, if someone looks at the nude body of someone else, it could destroy the entire universe.
Good thing they didn't patent "ain't" because then I'd be fucked. I'm working on a new programming language, which has the "ain't" operator. (It works a little different than the "xain't" operator, which is like "eXclusive ain't.") Oh well.
Yeah, you can laugh all you want. But being a union worker, I get paid more money than I did working on a computer, and the benefits are all there. Yeah, it smells kind of bad and shit, but who cares. It's easy money. Then, I go home and work out my complex investing problems using Mathematica and I make more money by investing in all kinds of instruments. It works pretty well.
(Of course, if Kerry had won, that would have been proof that the voting system is inadequate and flawed. But Bush won, so the voting system is perfect.)
By leveraging innovative technologies, content providers streamline compelling enterprise solutions.
The RIAA, MPAA, and Microsoft should get together to put a stop to this before it becomes a larger problem than it already is. That is, unless the FBI, CIA, the Justice Department, and the NSA figure out a way to keep track of which files are being shared, and then administer the death penalty without a trial.
THE SEX TAX
Every male will have a chip installed in his sex organ. This chip would provide the following functions:
- It would provide extra stimulation during the sex act.
- Via a Bluetooth interface, the male would be able to specify sexual parameters, such as extra lasting time, longer orgasms, etc.
- The chip would record all sexual activity and categorize it as follows:
- Masturbation
- Vaginal intercourse
- Oral intercourse
- Anal intercourse
- Other intercourse
- The male would have to report all sexual activity on a government document. Government computers would then match these documents against records received wirelessly from sex organ implants. (This step is performed to make the process error-prone on the male's part.)
The male would then be taxed accordingly. Mistakes made in filing the appropriate paperwork would result in interest, fines, interest on the fines, penalties, interest on the penalties, and interest on the interest.This new technology would create a new revenue stream for the government. Additional benefits for the male include:
- A spousal sex monitoring system, accessible via the web. Using this service, for which women could pay a monthly fee, wives will be able to monitor their husband's sexual activity, uncovering extramerital affairs, dirty masturbational habits, etc.
- Proof of rape allegations. This service would provide women with a method of proving that a male had engaged in sexual intercourse with them. Of course, since there would be no female implant, a woman who is completely unrelated to the male, but who knows that the male had a sexual rendezvous at a certain time, could allege that the male had raped her. Proof would exist that the male had sex, but the male could not present any evidence that the sex had occurred with a different woman. According to the law, the male would be assumed guilty until proven innocent, and the law will provide for only one way for the male to prove his innocence: Sign all assets, property, and money over to the government.
The new law will be called: The Millenium Sexual Freedom Act of 2005.Yes, this will obviously benefit both the male population, by providing innovative services that all males want, and the government, by providing a much needed revenue stream.
Of course, in the typical government style, the money would be used for anti-sex education.
Microsoft (NASDAQ: MSFT) today announced a strategic partnership with the Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA). By leveraging innovative technologies, content providers streamline compelling enterprise solutions. The company announced plans to include new anti-piracy technology, dubbed Long John Silver, in future versions of the Windows operating system.
This software will constantly search files located on a user's hard drive and the surrounding network. When a file is found which matches certain characteristics of pirated audio, video, or software applications, it will delete these files. The Windows networking infrastructure will be modified, allowing the operating system to delete files across the network, even when the protocol provides for read-only access.
"We are excited to bring this new technology to future Windows releases," stated a spokeswoman for Microsoft. "Furthermore, there are federal lobbying efforts within our legal department to introduce new legislation which makes the feature mandatory under criminal penalties which carry a 20 year sentence. This will end piracy once and for all."
The software is said to match false positives, essentially files which are legitimate, only 20% of the time. "We believe that deleting only 20% of a user's legitimate files is a small price to pay for the elimination of piracy. The consumer clearly receives the benefits of this technology," stated Steve Ballmer, CEO of Microsoft. "Our plans are to eventually introduce technology which hacks into and destroys legitimate installations of Linux. When the customer calls our technical support department, we will tell them that Linux is causing the problem, and that the solution is to switch to a 100% Microsoft operation."
The software is due to be released in 2006, the company said.
Disclaimer: This press release is made up. But I wouldn't be surprised if it were real.
This will balance out the patent system and make the system fair for all involved. Clearly, such a patent system will benefit the consumer.
Several hundred years ago, there was a lot more land on the planet, and less ocean. The increase in temperature caused by the Earth's slowly growing closer to the sun has caused the level of the oceans to rise, flooding a lot of cities that used to exist in what we now consider the ocean.
After a certain period of intense heat on the planet, when most of the planet will be covered in water, the planet will begin to move away from the sun over hundreds of years, until a period of tremendous cold is reached. At this point, there will be a tremendous amount of exposed land in what we now consider the ocean. Cities will again be constructed in these regions, and hundreds of years later, they will again be covered in water.
I know all of these facts are 100% true and correct, and I have undeniable proof: Two different people, who both claim they do not know each other, told me the same thing.
I believe the press release read:
Yes, that is correct.Owners of paid-for download services provide a benefit to the community in the same way that SCO is an ethical company.
Heck yeah there's room. I use this browser, and have had 3 different customers purchase licenses for all computers on their facilities. These have been upgraded since version 3 (Opera is past version 7.5 now). It is a good browser, once you get rid of the extra toolbars and unnecessary menu options. It can be customized to any extent, and then you can simply copy those setup files over to another installation to get the look you want. It is an excellent browser.
Microsoft. War is peace. Freedom is slavery. Ignorance is strength.
The other members of my group didn't actively participate except minimally, so I don't feel bad about screwing them over.
Start a covert GPL enforcement militia group that goes around and, uh, takes care of GPL violators. The world will know that you do NOT steal GPL code, and then everything will be ok.