or maybe it's the fact that a retarded cripple bastard could install and use Windows, but even a UNIX guru will still have to spend hours getting Linux to do what it should. maybe it's the fact that people don't want an OS that you need a few books to learn how to get around on. maybe it's the fact that most interactive open source software is inconsistently-interfaced, feature-deficient, and generally piss-poor.
or, like you said, maybe it was the licensing tricks that MS pulled to squash OS/2. yeah. that's it.
and how exactly is our beloved Star Wars JAP Natalie "sensual"? judging by her awkward acting and clunky delivery as she clamored her way through Episodes I and II, she's sensually dead as a post. sure, she's got decent tits, but she spells "ice queen" to me.
the next time you're presented with this situation, scream "hey! free collard greens!" to get their attention, and then throw a basketball across the street. each member of the family will instinctively chase it, and your sidewalk will be unobstructed.
i think i remember that from an old Ann Landers column, God rest her soul.
basically every game written since 1990 has not run dependent on the clock speed. if you weren't so busy fingering your ass while trolling eBanned for sweaty man-panties, you'd have realized this already.
"And look at this cool fan I got while I was there," Karen said. She held up the curious fan she had obtained in Japan.
"It's very nice, but not near as nice as you are," Steve flattered, taking Karen's hand and kissing it. "I missed you."
"Oh, what a chivalrous gentleman," Karen flipped open the fan and fanned herself gently, as though she were a southern belle.
"Now would Milady care for her royal rogering?" Steve said with a grin.
"Huh! Well I never!" Karen protested. She closed her fan and batted him on the nose with it. A light film of something like dust rose from the fan and coated Steve's face. He sneezed, then looked cross-eyed at his nose, then at Karen who had taken an affectatious stance. She looked cross for a moment, then leapt into his arms, dropping the fan to the floor. "Let's go, stud!" she exclaimed, giggling and grinning happily.
Steve carried her to the bedroom where he stood her in front of the bed long enough to strip her clothes from her, kissing whatever happened to be in front of him at the time. He pushed her back on the bed and hurriedly undid his own clothes, jumping on top of her when he had finished.
"Ooooh..." Karen moaned lengthily.
"I missed you so much," he murmured.
"I missed you too, big boy... Now fuck me silly before I change my mind."
Steve obliged, inserting his rock hard cock and pumping away. Karen groaned in ecstasy as an animalistic urge overtook him and began pounding at her body harder and faster. It took a short amount of time before both of the lovers came; they had been without each other for two weeks. Karen's legs sprawled wide and Steve's hips spasmed uncontrollably. They cried out together as Steve's seed traveled through Karen's womb to find its eventual target.
The couple huffed and panted in their sanguine afterglow. Steve shifted and rolled them both onto their sides, facing each other. They kissed passionately and snuggled gently, falling asleep in each other's arms while Steve's penis softened and slipped wetly from Karen's body. Neither noticed, but as his penis slipped free of Karen, it also retracted into a small, rubbery sheath that grew up over his penis and attached itself to his stomach.
After an hour, Karen unconsciously flicked her hand over her shoulder, accidentally hitting Steve on the nose.
"Ow! What'd you do that for?" he asked, startled awake.
Karen woke slowly. "Your beard was tickling my neck, Steve."
"I just clipped it yesterday, it shouldn't be that long."
Karen was tired from her flight overseas. It would have been worse if she'd had to fly all the way back to America, but since they had gotten married, they had lived at her place in England. She rolled over, a little annoyed. "Well if it wasn't your beard -- Oh my god! Steve, your beard!"
"What?" When he spoke Steve's long grey beard wiggled. Karen grabbed it in her hand and tugged it.
"It's long and grey!" she exclaimed. She looked into his eyes with a frightened expression and screamed as she saw Steve's square pupils. She pushed him frantically out of bed and forced him to the bathroom mirror. "Look!" she said.
He looked at his reflection and let out a yell. "What the hell?" He held his hands up to his face, feeling the grey stubble that was suddenly growing all over his face, and for the first time noticed how stiff his fingers were. "What's happening to me?" he cried.
The two stood and looked over his body. Karen was first to see his sheathed penis and grabbed it roughly. Steve yelled as she turned him around and went in for a closer look. He looked down at her near his crotch and seemed to forget about his sudden, unexpected transformation and began getting excited. As Karen crouched in front of his furry, thick sheath and his low, swinging balls, Steve's red, slick penis began to press back the sheath. She watched its tip move forth for a morbid moment, then tried to stand up and back away, but she was forced back down. He had grabbed her head with his slowly fusing fingers and guided her back to his penis. She tried to resist, turning her head in disgust as the heat from his member forced his changing scent up her nose, but Steve's hardening fingers were insistent and he forced Karen down on his cock. Fur began to creep up his belly as she unwillingly sucked at it.
Steve began to lose his grip on Karen's head as his fingers finally fused into hooves, but instead he kept insistent pressure on her head with his changing, furry arms. He thrust his red-hot member into her mouth, his pendulous balls slapping against her chin. She closed her eyes and winced in disgust as Steve bleated, spewing hot cum into her mouth. Some of it fell down her throat, the rest she spit into the toilet, coughing and retching violently as Steve wandered absent- mindedly from the bathroom on clicking toe-hooves.
Karen looked up from the bowl as she heard a loud thunk from the other room and, though she had practically just been raped by him, she still cared what happened to the old sod. She wandered into the room to see that Steve had fallen over and was standing on all fours. His legs were shortening and chest was barreling out. Karen finally recognized the animal; a goat.
Steve bleated as a long, furry tail jutted out of his naked back. Sweat dripped off his skin where it wasn't yet covered with grey fur. He bleated again as his nose began to widen and his face to push forward. His hair had greyed and become coarse and short, and two bumps were protruding from his forehead just above his lengthening ears.
Karen cried and held the goat as he bleated again for the first time as a full goat. She wept and held the goat tightly even as he squirmed and tried to get free. Finally, she let him go and he walked only a short distance away to the other side of the bed and looked at her. Karen thought there might still be something left of Steve from the way he looked at her, but that was quickly out when he started chewing the bedspread. She stood angrily, ripped him away from it, and led him outside by the scuff of his neck. She closed the door and slumped, naked and crying against it. She shuffled wearily back to the bed, kicking the fan she had dropped on the way. More of the dust flew into the air and collected on her leg, but she didn't notice as she lay back in bed and cried herself to sleep.
Karen was awakened by the sound of bleating from the back yard. She rubbed her eyes and stretched her arms out first, then ran them down her body in another stretch. She was jolted fully awake when her hands hit four large bumps on her stomach. She looked and saw four big nipples bulging out of her belly. She pinched them experimentally and was surprised to find them extremely sensitive and still growing.
"Oh no!" she exclaimed. "Looks like I'm joining you, Steve."
Karen got out of bed and walked to the bathroom, her back feeling a little stiff. She wept harshly as she looked into the mirror and saw her square pupils and the grey tips of her ears sticking out of her thinning hair. Her knees felt weak and she sank to the floor wailing piteously, covering her eyes with her stiffening fingers. Her body was wracked with sobs as grey hairs sprouted on her chin and lengthened slowly despite her.
"Why?" she murmured babbling. "Why did this happen? What did I do to deserve this?" She continued crying until she accidentally bleated, which startled her out of her reverie. She looked down at her increasingly misshapen legs and the large, full-looking nipples hanging from her stomach and knew that she had to get outside. She stood, forcefully hunched, and walked towards the back door, a fleshy sack slowly inflating under her nipples. Her hardened and fusing fingers couldn't work the knob, but she eventually managed to turn it. Steve wandered over and sniffed at her curiously bulging stomach topped with four dangling nipples. The large sack made her walk bowlegged out the door into the back yard where she sat, resigned to her fate. Steve bleated at her as Karen's scent began changing.
Fur was spreading over her arms and legs which were splayed to allow her fat udder to lay freely on the ground. She could feel her tail growing from her back and she cried as it wagged and flipped about. Her fingers were now just vague impressions inside her solid, cloven hooves, and that was rapidly changing. She dropped to her side as her back began to hurt the way she was sitting. She bleated mournfully and looked over at Steve through changing eyes and saw his goat penis already out of its sheath. While she had rejected it earlier, it now appealed to her and teased her with it's presence. She worked herself up onto all fours, her shortening legs forcing her ass into the air. Although she wanted the other goat in her, her changing body afforded her the brief knowledge that she had already been fertilized. She didn't care. The thought occurred to her human mind, then her human mind was gone. Steve slid up her back and rammed his penis home as Karen's muzzle began to form. She stood steadily on four hooves as Steve's pumping caused her udder to sway between her legs. As her fur beard grew in and horns grew on her head, Steve spewed his goat cum into her body and her transformation subsided. The goat dismounted and nuzzled his mate, and they began to graze.
A few weeks passed and the police were called to the house to investigate two missing persons. They found only an open door and two goats in the back yard. The goats were taken to an animal refuge, but the persons were never found.
As the months went on, Karen's animal belly ceased to curve upward and now protruded downward and outward roundly. It had grown fat with her offspring, and, had she been human, she might have worried about whether the offspring would be a human or a goat. The maternal instincts of the nanny goat did not include these thoughts, however. Her udder swung heavily with the weight of the milk being produced for her kid, and her swollen furry belly made it difficult for her to walk.
One day, Karen's instinct took full control of her systems and she flopped down on her side, her belly heaving, the caretaker of the refuge calling his wife over to watch. After a few minutes, the muscles contracted in her base, simplistic, animal vagina and began to force out her offspring. First, a wet splash of birth fluid made the loose dirt into mud, then, as the mass fell further from her body, Karen stood again on all fours and pushed her kid all the way out. It flopped limply on the ground and she turned and began to lick the wet, wriggling goat kid of its placental sack and birth fluid. Later, it would drink her nourishing milk from one of the heavy nipples which would squirt milk from her full udder and make a milky mess of her kid's face, but she would be happy to clean that off as well.
"And look at this cool fan I got while I was there," Karen said. She held up the curious fan she had obtained in Japan.
"It's very nice, but not near as nice as you are," Steve flattered, taking Karen's hand and kissing it. "I missed you."
"Oh, what a chivalrous gentleman," Karen flipped open the fan and fanned herself gently, as though she were a southern belle.
"Now would Milady care for her royal rogering?" Steve said with a grin.
"Huh! Well I never!" Karen protested. She closed her fan and batted him on the nose with it. A light film of something like dust rose from the fan and coated Steve's face. He sneezed, then looked cross-eyed at his nose, then at Karen who had taken an affectatious stance. She looked cross for a moment, then leapt into his arms, dropping the fan to the floor. "Let's go, stud!" she exclaimed, giggling and grinning happily.
Steve carried her to the bedroom where he stood her in front of the bed long enough to strip her clothes from her, kissing whatever happened to be in front of him at the time. He pushed her back on the bed and hurriedly undid his own clothes, jumping on top of her when he had finished.
"Ooooh..." Karen moaned lengthily.
"I missed you so much," he murmured.
"I missed you too, big boy... Now fuck me silly before I change my mind."
Steve obliged, inserting his rock hard cock and pumping away. Karen groaned in ecstasy as an animalistic urge overtook him and began pounding at her body harder and faster. It took a short amount of time before both of the lovers came; they had been without each other for two weeks. Karen's legs sprawled wide and Steve's hips spasmed uncontrollably. They cried out together as Steve's seed traveled through Karen's womb to find its eventual target.
The couple huffed and panted in their sanguine afterglow. Steve shifted and rolled them both onto their sides, facing each other. They kissed passionately and snuggled gently, falling asleep in each other's arms while Steve's penis softened and slipped wetly from Karen's body. Neither noticed, but as his penis slipped free of Karen, it also retracted into a small, rubbery sheath that grew up over his penis and attached itself to his stomach.
After an hour, Karen unconsciously flicked her hand over her shoulder, accidentally hitting Steve on the nose.
"Ow! What'd you do that for?" he asked, startled awake.
Karen woke slowly. "Your beard was tickling my neck, Steve."
"I just clipped it yesterday, it shouldn't be that long."
Karen was tired from her flight overseas. It would have been worse if she'd had to fly all the way back to America, but since they had gotten married, they had lived at her place in England. She rolled over, a little annoyed. "Well if it wasn't your beard -- Oh my god! Steve, your beard!"
"What?" When he spoke Steve's long grey beard wiggled. Karen grabbed it in her hand and tugged it.
"It's long and grey!" she exclaimed. She looked into his eyes with a frightened expression and screamed as she saw Steve's square pupils. She pushed him frantically out of bed and forced him to the bathroom mirror. "Look!" she said.
He looked at his reflection and let out a yell. "What the hell?" He held his hands up to his face, feeling the grey stubble that was suddenly growing all over his face, and for the first time noticed how stiff his fingers were. "What's happening to me?" he cried.
The two stood and looked over his body. Karen was first to see his sheathed penis and grabbed it roughly. Steve yelled as she turned him around and went in for a closer look. He looked down at her near his crotch and seemed to forget about his sudden, unexpected transformation and began getting excited. As Karen crouched in front of his furry, thick sheath and his low, swinging balls, Steve's red, slick penis began to press back the sheath. She watched its tip move forth for a morbid moment, then tried to stand up and back away, but she was forced back down. He had grabbed her head with his slowly fusing fingers and guided her back to his penis. She tried to resist, turning her head in disgust as the heat from his member forced his changing scent up her nose, but Steve's hardening fingers were insistent and he forced Karen down on his cock. Fur began to creep up his belly as she unwillingly sucked at it.
Steve began to lose his grip on Karen's head as his fingers finally fused into hooves, but instead he kept insistent pressure on her head with his changing, furry arms. He thrust his red-hot member into her mouth, his pendulous balls slapping against her chin. She closed her eyes and winced in disgust as Steve bleated, spewing hot cum into her mouth. Some of it fell down her throat, the rest she spit into the toilet, coughing and retching violently as Steve wandered absent- mindedly from the bathroom on clicking toe-hooves.
Karen looked up from the bowl as she heard a loud thunk from the other room and, though she had practically just been raped by him, she still cared what happened to the old sod. She wandered into the room to see that Steve had fallen over and was standing on all fours. His legs were shortening and chest was barreling out. Karen finally recognized the animal; a goat.
Steve bleated as a long, furry tail jutted out of his naked back. Sweat dripped off his skin where it wasn't yet covered with grey fur. He bleated again as his nose began to widen and his face to push forward. His hair had greyed and become coarse and short, and two bumps were protruding from his forehead just above his lengthening ears.
Karen cried and held the goat as he bleated again for the first time as a full goat. She wept and held the goat tightly even as he squirmed and tried to get free. Finally, she let him go and he walked only a short distance away to the other side of the bed and looked at her. Karen thought there might still be something left of Steve from the way he looked at her, but that was quickly out when he started chewing the bedspread. She stood angrily, ripped him away from it, and led him outside by the scuff of his neck. She closed the door and slumped, naked and crying against it. She shuffled wearily back to the bed, kicking the fan she had dropped on the way. More of the dust flew into the air and collected on her leg, but she didn't notice as she lay back in bed and cried herself to sleep.
Karen was awakened by the sound of bleating from the back yard. She rubbed her eyes and stretched her arms out first, then ran them down her body in another stretch. She was jolted fully awake when her hands hit four large bumps on her stomach. She looked and saw four big nipples bulging out of her belly. She pinched them experimentally and was surprised to find them extremely sensitive and still growing.
"Oh no!" she exclaimed. "Looks like I'm joining you, Steve."
Karen got out of bed and walked to the bathroom, her back feeling a little stiff. She wept harshly as she looked into the mirror and saw her square pupils and the grey tips of her ears sticking out of her thinning hair. Her knees felt weak and she sank to the floor wailing piteously, covering her eyes with her stiffening fingers. Her body was wracked with sobs as grey hairs sprouted on her chin and lengthened slowly despite her.
"Why?" she murmured babbling. "Why did this happen? What did I do to deserve this?" She continued crying until she accidentally bleated, which startled her out of her reverie. She looked down at her increasingly misshapen legs and the large, full-looking nipples hanging from her stomach and knew that she had to get outside. She stood, forcefully hunched, and walked towards the back door, a fleshy sack slowly inflating under her nipples. Her hardened and fusing fingers couldn't work the knob, but she eventually managed to turn it. Steve wandered over and sniffed at her curiously bulging stomach topped with four dangling nipples. The large sack made her walk bowlegged out the door into the back yard where she sat, resigned to her fate. Steve bleated at her as Karen's scent began changing.
Fur was spreading over her arms and legs which were splayed to allow her fat udder to lay freely on the ground. She could feel her tail growing from her back and she cried as it wagged and flipped about. Her fingers were now just vague impressions inside her solid, cloven hooves, and that was rapidly changing. She dropped to her side as her back began to hurt the way she was sitting. She bleated mournfully and looked over at Steve through changing eyes and saw his goat penis already out of its sheath. While she had rejected it earlier, it now appealed to her and teased her with it's presence. She worked herself up onto all fours, her shortening legs forcing her ass into the air. Although she wanted the other goat in her, her changing body afforded her the brief knowledge that she had already been fertilized. She didn't care. The thought occurred to her human mind, then her human mind was gone. Steve slid up her back and rammed his penis home as Karen's muzzle began to form. She stood steadily on four hooves as Steve's pumping caused her udder to sway between her legs. As her fur beard grew in and horns grew on her head, Steve spewed his goat cum into her body and her transformation subsided. The goat dismounted and nuzzled his mate, and they began to graze.
A few weeks passed and the police were called to the house to investigate two missing persons. They found only an open door and two goats in the back yard. The goats were taken to an animal refuge, but the persons were never found.
As the months went on, Karen's animal belly ceased to curve upward and now protruded downward and outward roundly. It had grown fat with her offspring, and, had she been human, she might have worried about whether the offspring would be a human or a goat. The maternal instincts of the nanny goat did not include these thoughts, however. Her udder swung heavily with the weight of the milk being produced for her kid, and her swollen furry belly made it difficult for her to walk.
One day, Karen's instinct took full control of her systems and she flopped down on her side, her belly heaving, the caretaker of the refuge calling his wife over to watch. After a few minutes, the muscles contracted in her base, simplistic, animal vagina and began to force out her offspring. First, a wet splash of birth fluid made the loose dirt into mud, then, as the mass fell further from her body, Karen stood again on all fours and pushed her kid all the way out. It flopped limply on the ground and she turned and began to lick the wet, wriggling goat kid of its placental sack and birth fluid. Later, it would drink her nourishing milk from one of the heavy nipples which would squirt milk from her full udder and make a milky mess of her kid's face, but she would be happy to clean that off as well.
We've gone out for dinner on a weeknight... a nice restaurant, soft candles, music in the background and such. There aren't too many people there with us and we have a corner table to ourselves. You're looking lovely in one of your short skirts and a nice blouse, and you know it - you've been teasing me all night and it's driving me crazy - leaning forward to let me see your beautiful tits down your top, or spreading your legs enough to show you're freshly shaven and not wearing any panties. Finally I can't take it any more. I reach over, grab your head and pull you to my face; kissing you deeply before you can protest, our tongues meeting and twisting between the two mouths. At the same time one of my hands reaches up to tease and massage those wonderful breasts, feeling the nipples harden beneath my palm. You moan a bit and then gasp as you feel my hand move down and start sliding up your legs, lifting the skirt as the cool air reaches your crotch... protesting that someone might see, but I tell you to shush...it's time to pay for your teasing.
I lift it up higher, pushing your legs apart as the fabric rides up to your hips... a few of the other people are watching by now, but no one says anything. I begin to massage your pussy while still kissing you - mostly just trailing my fingers over the lips, teasing your clit... not putting them in at all, but knowing that you're getting hotter. You're moaning a bit louder now, sitting with your legs splayed and everyone can see you're getting wet. I pull away from your face for a moment to take your clit between two fingers and pinch just a little as I tell you to open your blouse and show everyone your tits. Your breathing is in coming in gasps and pants by now... I pinch a little harder as you hesitate... then you reach up with shaking hands and unbutton your blouse, opening it slowly... rubbing and cupping your heaving breasts as you show them to the appreciative crowd. The nipples are obviously hard, and my mouth moves down to slowly lick across one as you moan again. "Good girl," I say, starting to rub your clit again as I suckle at a nipple for a moment... God, it's hard... and you're DRIPPING wet into my palm! It excites me so when you get like this.
Then I stand up and pull you to your own feet; telling you that you're still going to pay for teasing me. I turn you around and push gently on your shoulders to bend you over the table, lifting your skirt again as everyone gets a better view of your rear and the hot cleft between your legs. You look back over your shoulder, getting a little bit embarrassed again as you wonder what's next. Then I tell you to spread your legs so that your fans can see. You hesitate, then you feel the *SMACK* of my palm on your ass... a quick slap as you feel the heat of my hand. You moan again as you spread your feet slowly, still a little shy. Another *SMACK* as I say "Hurry..."
This time you comply... your legs shoulder width apart, still looking back as you're bent over the table... blushing in a mixture of pleasure and shame, with your ass pointed right at the crowd... two large red handprints still burning on your cheeks... you know that with your legs spread like this they can see your shaved lips, all swollen and dripping, and your own hand that has started working your nipple. I tell you you're not warm enough yet, as I continue to spank you - a slow rhythm, one butt cheek and then the other, letting you catch your breath for just a moment between each slap. You're getting wetter and hotter at the show you know everyone's getting, as well as with the punishment that you love.
Then my swats stop; you start to turn your head to look, but feel my hand pushing you back to the table as you hear me moving something behind you. Then you jump as you feel a slightly cold, thick liquid dripping onto your asscrack... just at the top... you wonder what it could be as you feel it slowly oozing down...lower...lower... finally with a tickle reaching your puckered little rosebud. My fingers touch you there then, massaging gently in circles around the rim of your ass. You gasp again, pushing your ass back to meet my touch as I slowly start to work a finger inside, the oily liquid easing the path into your tight hole. I pump it in and out all the way to my knuckle as as you moan louder... and then I surprise you with a sudden *SMACK* from my other hand...
Again pumping... and *SMACK*.
And again.
Loving the way your body jumps with each one, the way your ass clenches at my finger, and the way you look bent over like this as I prepare you. I have two fingers in you now - as deep as they will go as I twist and probe... still spanking you slowly with the other hand as I tell you this is what happens to naughty teases. Your butt cheeks are on fire, but your moans and gasps only get louder - and your pussy is running down your thighs it's so wet and hot.
Then you hear the sound you've been waiting for as I unzip my fly right behind you. I pull my fingers from you, seeing your now-lubed hole slowly tighten again... then immediately line up the head of my cock and start pushing slowly forward... you moan in that slight pain this time as you try to adjust to the size... the head of my dick finally popping inside you as you cry out... I pause for a moment to let you adjust... and to revel in the exquisite tightness... and then I start to push deeper... slowly but firmly... feeling you stretch wide... a low moaning cry/wail of pain and pleasure the whole time as my cock fills your ass. God what an incredible feeling! Finally I'm buried to the balls as I rest for a moment, enjoying the sheath around my hardness as you look at all the people watching me sodomize you.
Then, I start to fuck you - no more gentleness, but long, hard strokes filling you deep inside. One of my hands pressing your shoulder blades holding you down, the other slapping your ass again... switching sides every few strokes to *SMACK* you hard. You can feel my balls slap your pussy and clit as I bury myself each time, and I can feel the heat from your crotch upon mine. The people left in the room have all moved a bit closer, strangely silent as they observe our passion. I'm talking in your ear the whole time, asking if my girl likes her assfucking; if she likes being punished for teasing. The yes's of your response lost in your moans, the sounds of you begging me to fuck you harder and deeper.
I'm moving faster now, the oil making it easier to use your tightest hole. You reach one hand down to rub your clit in time with my thrusts as your own pleasure rises, loving the way I drive you into the table with a grunt each time I bury myself, deeper than you thought anyone could go. Moving faster as our breathing both gets heavier, the pants and cries indistinguishable from each other. Until finally... I cry out... shoving all the way in as my cock erupts inside you... hot sticky jets of cum shooting out... filling your bowels in that unique way... your own fingers pinching your clit as you cry out and shake in orgasm under me. Holding myself deep as we spasm together. Then taking a last few hard jabs with my still-embedded prick as I look down to see your hole, red and raw around me with my sperm glistening as it oozes out. Then pulling myself from you, still holding you down as I wipe myself clean and put my cock back inside my pants. Only then pulling you to your own feet to lead your still-dazed body out the restaurant past everyone as you feel my sticky cum slowly oozing from your burning hole...
Hit me Going going gone Now I dialed 911 a long time ago Don't you see how late they're reactin' They only come and they come when they wanna So get the morgue embalm the goner They don't care 'cause they stay paid anyway They teach ya like an ace they can't be betrayed I know you stumble with no use people If your life is on the line they you're dead today Late comings with the late comin' stretcher That's a body bag in disguise y'all betcha I call 'em body snatchers quick they come to fetch ya? With an autopsy ambulance just to dissect ya They are the kings 'cause they swing amputation Lose your arms, your legs to them it's compilation I can prove it to you watch the rotation It all adds up to a funky situation So get up get, get get down 911 is a joke in yo town Get up, get, get, get down Late 911 wears the late crown
911 is a joke
Everyday they don't never come correct You can ask my man right here with the broken neck He's a witness to the job never bein' done He would've been in full in 8 9-11 Was a joke 'cause they always jokin' They the token to your life when it's croakin' They need to be in a pawn shop on a 911 is a joke we don't want 'em I call a cab 'cause a cab will come quicker The doctors huddle up and call a flea flicker The reason that I say that 'cause they Flick you off like fleas They be laughin' at ya while you're crawlin' on your knees And to the strength so go the length Thinkin' you are first when you really are tenth You better wake up and smell the real flavor Cause 911 is a fake life saver
So get up, get, get get down 911 is a joke in yo town Get up, get, get, get down Late 911 wears the late crown
you'll be interested to know that everyone else on Slashdot is laughing at your bare-chested display of unbridled ignorance. anything with the IQ of a slime mold knows that the Corvair didn't explode, it flipped. it was the Pinto that exploded from time to time.
Slashdot Mirror
or maybe it's the fact that a retarded cripple bastard could install and use Windows, but even a UNIX guru will still have to spend hours getting Linux to do what it should. maybe it's the fact that people don't want an OS that you need a few books to learn how to get around on. maybe it's the fact that most interactive open source software is inconsistently-interfaced, feature-deficient, and generally piss-poor.
or, like you said, maybe it was the licensing tricks that MS pulled to squash OS/2. yeah. that's it.
rye is for drinking (preferably until you're dizzy)
He is nonliving proof
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enough. last post
that's not an excellent article. that's a shit stain on a shit rag (an online one at that).
YOU, sir, are as worse than HITLER, and if i ever meet you, i will KICK YOUR ASS
GHEY FHAG!!
Q. How can you tell if a Puerto Rican has been in your house?
A. The trash is gone and the dog is pregnant
good work man.
network? channel? slashnet #trolls is empty at the moment...
and how exactly is our beloved Star Wars JAP Natalie "sensual"? judging by her awkward acting and clunky delivery as she clamored her way through Episodes I and II, she's sensually dead as a post. sure, she's got decent tits, but she spells "ice queen" to me.
theoretical bisexuality is totally gay.
this could be condensed to "Natalie Portman is a college girl"
the next time you're presented with this situation, scream "hey! free collard greens!" to get their attention, and then throw a basketball across the street. each member of the family will instinctively chase it, and your sidewalk will be unobstructed.
i think i remember that from an old Ann Landers column, God rest her soul.
shit balls
+5, Informative-like
basically every game written since 1990 has not run dependent on the clock speed. if you weren't so busy fingering your ass while trolling eBanned for sweaty man-panties, you'd have realized this already.
eat a bag of shit and shoot yourself in the head.
one more time for the CLIT (not first)
"And look at this cool fan I got while I was there," Karen said. She held up the curious
fan she had obtained in Japan.
"It's very nice, but not near as nice as you are," Steve flattered, taking Karen's hand and
kissing it. "I missed you."
"Oh, what a chivalrous gentleman," Karen flipped open the fan and fanned herself gently,
as though she were a southern belle.
"Now would Milady care for her royal rogering?" Steve said with a grin.
"Huh! Well I never!" Karen protested. She closed her fan and batted him on the nose
with it. A light film of something like dust rose from the fan and coated Steve's face. He
sneezed, then looked cross-eyed at his nose, then at Karen who had taken an affectatious stance.
She looked cross for a moment, then leapt into his arms, dropping the fan to the floor. "Let's go,
stud!" she exclaimed, giggling and grinning happily.
Steve carried her to the bedroom where he stood her in front of the bed long enough to
strip her clothes from her, kissing whatever happened to be in front of him at the time. He pushed
her back on the bed and hurriedly undid his own clothes, jumping on top of her when he had
finished.
"Ooooh..." Karen moaned lengthily.
"I missed you so much," he murmured.
"I missed you too, big boy... Now fuck me silly before I change my mind."
Steve obliged, inserting his rock hard cock and pumping away. Karen groaned in ecstasy
as an animalistic urge overtook him and began pounding at her body harder and faster. It took a
short amount of time before both of the lovers came; they had been without each other for two
weeks. Karen's legs sprawled wide and Steve's hips spasmed uncontrollably. They cried out
together as Steve's seed traveled through Karen's womb to find its eventual target.
The couple huffed and panted in their sanguine afterglow. Steve shifted and rolled them
both onto their sides, facing each other. They kissed passionately and snuggled gently, falling
asleep in each other's arms while Steve's penis softened and slipped wetly from Karen's body.
Neither noticed, but as his penis slipped free of Karen, it also retracted into a small, rubbery
sheath that grew up over his penis and attached itself to his stomach.
After an hour, Karen unconsciously flicked her hand over her shoulder, accidentally hitting
Steve on the nose.
"Ow! What'd you do that for?" he asked, startled awake.
Karen woke slowly. "Your beard was tickling my neck, Steve."
"I just clipped it yesterday, it shouldn't be that long."
Karen was tired from her flight overseas. It would have been worse if she'd had to fly all
the way back to America, but since they had gotten married, they had lived at her place in
England. She rolled over, a little annoyed. "Well if it wasn't your beard -- Oh my god! Steve,
your beard!"
"What?" When he spoke Steve's long grey beard wiggled. Karen grabbed it in her hand
and tugged it.
"It's long and grey!" she exclaimed. She looked into his eyes with a frightened expression
and screamed as she saw Steve's square pupils. She pushed him frantically out of bed and forced
him to the bathroom mirror. "Look!" she said.
He looked at his reflection and let out a yell. "What the hell?" He held his hands up to his
face, feeling the grey stubble that was suddenly growing all over his face, and for the first time
noticed how stiff his fingers were. "What's happening to me?" he cried.
The two stood and looked over his body. Karen was first to see his sheathed penis and
grabbed it roughly. Steve yelled as she turned him around and went in for a closer look. He
looked down at her near his crotch and seemed to forget about his sudden, unexpected
transformation and began getting excited. As Karen crouched in front of his furry, thick sheath
and his low, swinging balls, Steve's red, slick penis began to press back the sheath. She watched
its tip move forth for a morbid moment, then tried to stand up and back away, but she was forced
back down. He had grabbed her head with his slowly fusing fingers and guided her back to his
penis. She tried to resist, turning her head in disgust as the heat from his member forced his
changing scent up her nose, but Steve's hardening fingers were insistent and he forced Karen
down on his cock. Fur began to creep up his belly as she unwillingly sucked at it.
Steve began to lose his grip on Karen's head as his fingers finally fused into hooves, but
instead he kept insistent pressure on her head with his changing, furry arms. He thrust his red-hot
member into her mouth, his pendulous balls slapping against her chin. She closed her eyes and
winced in disgust as Steve bleated, spewing hot cum into her mouth. Some of it fell down her
throat, the rest she spit into the toilet, coughing and retching violently as Steve wandered absent-
mindedly from the bathroom on clicking toe-hooves.
Karen looked up from the bowl as she heard a loud thunk from the other room and,
though she had practically just been raped by him, she still cared what happened to the old sod.
She wandered into the room to see that Steve had fallen over and was standing on all fours. His
legs were shortening and chest was barreling out. Karen finally recognized the animal; a goat.
Steve bleated as a long, furry tail jutted out of his naked back. Sweat dripped off his skin
where it wasn't yet covered with grey fur. He bleated again as his nose began to widen and his
face to push forward. His hair had greyed and become coarse and short, and two bumps were
protruding from his forehead just above his lengthening ears.
Karen cried and held the goat as he bleated again for the first time as a full goat. She wept
and held the goat tightly even as he squirmed and tried to get free. Finally, she let him go and he
walked only a short distance away to the other side of the bed and looked at her. Karen thought
there might still be something left of Steve from the way he looked at her, but that was quickly
out when he started chewing the bedspread. She stood angrily, ripped him away from it, and led
him outside by the scuff of his neck. She closed the door and slumped, naked and crying against
it. She shuffled wearily back to the bed, kicking the fan she had dropped on the way. More of
the dust flew into the air and collected on her leg, but she didn't notice as she lay back in bed and
cried herself to sleep.
Karen was awakened by the sound of bleating from the back yard. She rubbed her eyes
and stretched her arms out first, then ran them down her body in another stretch. She was jolted
fully awake when her hands hit four large bumps on her stomach. She looked and saw four big
nipples bulging out of her belly. She pinched them experimentally and was surprised to find them
extremely sensitive and still growing.
"Oh no!" she exclaimed. "Looks like I'm joining you, Steve."
Karen got out of bed and walked to the bathroom, her back feeling a little stiff. She wept
harshly as she looked into the mirror and saw her square pupils and the grey tips of her ears
sticking out of her thinning hair. Her knees felt weak and she sank to the floor wailing piteously,
covering her eyes with her stiffening fingers. Her body was wracked with sobs as grey hairs
sprouted on her chin and lengthened slowly despite her.
"Why?" she murmured babbling. "Why did this happen? What did I do to deserve this?"
She continued crying until she accidentally bleated, which startled her out of her reverie. She
looked down at her increasingly misshapen legs and the large, full-looking nipples hanging from
her stomach and knew that she had to get outside. She stood, forcefully hunched, and walked
towards the back door, a fleshy sack slowly inflating under her nipples. Her hardened and fusing
fingers couldn't work the knob, but she eventually managed to turn it. Steve wandered over and
sniffed at her curiously bulging stomach topped with four dangling nipples. The large sack made
her walk bowlegged out the door into the back yard where she sat, resigned to her fate. Steve
bleated at her as Karen's scent began changing.
Fur was spreading over her arms and legs which were splayed to allow her fat udder to lay
freely on the ground. She could feel her tail growing from her back and she cried as it wagged
and flipped about. Her fingers were now just vague impressions inside her solid, cloven hooves,
and that was rapidly changing. She dropped to her side as her back began to hurt the way she
was sitting. She bleated mournfully and looked over at Steve through changing eyes and saw his
goat penis already out of its sheath. While she had rejected it earlier, it now appealed to her and
teased her with it's presence. She worked herself up onto all fours, her shortening legs forcing
her ass into the air. Although she wanted the other goat in her, her changing body afforded her
the brief knowledge that she had already been fertilized. She didn't care. The thought occurred
to her human mind, then her human mind was gone. Steve slid up her back and rammed his penis
home as Karen's muzzle began to form. She stood steadily on four hooves as Steve's pumping
caused her udder to sway between her legs. As her fur beard grew in and horns grew on her
head, Steve spewed his goat cum into her body and her transformation subsided. The goat
dismounted and nuzzled his mate, and they began to graze.
A few weeks passed and the police were called to the house to investigate two missing
persons. They found only an open door and two goats in the back yard. The goats were taken to
an animal refuge, but the persons were never found.
As the months went on, Karen's animal belly ceased to curve upward and now protruded
downward and outward roundly. It had grown fat with her offspring, and, had she been human,
she might have worried about whether the offspring would be a human or a goat. The maternal
instincts of the nanny goat did not include these thoughts, however. Her udder swung heavily
with the weight of the milk being produced for her kid, and her swollen furry belly made it
difficult for her to walk.
One day, Karen's instinct took full control of her systems and she flopped down on her
side, her belly heaving, the caretaker of the refuge calling his wife over to watch. After a few
minutes, the muscles contracted in her base, simplistic, animal vagina and began to force out her
offspring. First, a wet splash of birth fluid made the loose dirt into mud, then, as the mass fell
further from her body, Karen stood again on all fours and pushed her kid all the way out. It
flopped limply on the ground and she turned and began to lick the wet, wriggling goat kid of its
placental sack and birth fluid. Later, it would drink her nourishing milk from one of the heavy
nipples which would squirt milk from her full udder and make a milky mess of her kid's face, but
she would be happy to clean that off as well.
"And look at this cool fan I got while I was there," Karen said. She held up the curious
fan she had obtained in Japan.
"It's very nice, but not near as nice as you are," Steve flattered, taking Karen's hand and
kissing it. "I missed you."
"Oh, what a chivalrous gentleman," Karen flipped open the fan and fanned herself gently,
as though she were a southern belle.
"Now would Milady care for her royal rogering?" Steve said with a grin.
"Huh! Well I never!" Karen protested. She closed her fan and batted him on the nose
with it. A light film of something like dust rose from the fan and coated Steve's face. He
sneezed, then looked cross-eyed at his nose, then at Karen who had taken an affectatious stance.
She looked cross for a moment, then leapt into his arms, dropping the fan to the floor. "Let's go,
stud!" she exclaimed, giggling and grinning happily.
Steve carried her to the bedroom where he stood her in front of the bed long enough to
strip her clothes from her, kissing whatever happened to be in front of him at the time. He pushed
her back on the bed and hurriedly undid his own clothes, jumping on top of her when he had
finished.
"Ooooh..." Karen moaned lengthily.
"I missed you so much," he murmured.
"I missed you too, big boy... Now fuck me silly before I change my mind."
Steve obliged, inserting his rock hard cock and pumping away. Karen groaned in ecstasy
as an animalistic urge overtook him and began pounding at her body harder and faster. It took a
short amount of time before both of the lovers came; they had been without each other for two
weeks. Karen's legs sprawled wide and Steve's hips spasmed uncontrollably. They cried out
together as Steve's seed traveled through Karen's womb to find its eventual target.
The couple huffed and panted in their sanguine afterglow. Steve shifted and rolled them
both onto their sides, facing each other. They kissed passionately and snuggled gently, falling
asleep in each other's arms while Steve's penis softened and slipped wetly from Karen's body.
Neither noticed, but as his penis slipped free of Karen, it also retracted into a small, rubbery
sheath that grew up over his penis and attached itself to his stomach.
After an hour, Karen unconsciously flicked her hand over her shoulder, accidentally hitting
Steve on the nose.
"Ow! What'd you do that for?" he asked, startled awake.
Karen woke slowly. "Your beard was tickling my neck, Steve."
"I just clipped it yesterday, it shouldn't be that long."
Karen was tired from her flight overseas. It would have been worse if she'd had to fly all
the way back to America, but since they had gotten married, they had lived at her place in
England. She rolled over, a little annoyed. "Well if it wasn't your beard -- Oh my god! Steve,
your beard!"
"What?" When he spoke Steve's long grey beard wiggled. Karen grabbed it in her hand
and tugged it.
"It's long and grey!" she exclaimed. She looked into his eyes with a frightened expression
and screamed as she saw Steve's square pupils. She pushed him frantically out of bed and forced
him to the bathroom mirror. "Look!" she said.
He looked at his reflection and let out a yell. "What the hell?" He held his hands up to his
face, feeling the grey stubble that was suddenly growing all over his face, and for the first time
noticed how stiff his fingers were. "What's happening to me?" he cried.
The two stood and looked over his body. Karen was first to see his sheathed penis and
grabbed it roughly. Steve yelled as she turned him around and went in for a closer look. He
looked down at her near his crotch and seemed to forget about his sudden, unexpected
transformation and began getting excited. As Karen crouched in front of his furry, thick sheath
and his low, swinging balls, Steve's red, slick penis began to press back the sheath. She watched
its tip move forth for a morbid moment, then tried to stand up and back away, but she was forced
back down. He had grabbed her head with his slowly fusing fingers and guided her back to his
penis. She tried to resist, turning her head in disgust as the heat from his member forced his
changing scent up her nose, but Steve's hardening fingers were insistent and he forced Karen
down on his cock. Fur began to creep up his belly as she unwillingly sucked at it.
Steve began to lose his grip on Karen's head as his fingers finally fused into hooves, but
instead he kept insistent pressure on her head with his changing, furry arms. He thrust his red-hot
member into her mouth, his pendulous balls slapping against her chin. She closed her eyes and
winced in disgust as Steve bleated, spewing hot cum into her mouth. Some of it fell down her
throat, the rest she spit into the toilet, coughing and retching violently as Steve wandered absent-
mindedly from the bathroom on clicking toe-hooves.
Karen looked up from the bowl as she heard a loud thunk from the other room and,
though she had practically just been raped by him, she still cared what happened to the old sod.
She wandered into the room to see that Steve had fallen over and was standing on all fours. His
legs were shortening and chest was barreling out. Karen finally recognized the animal; a goat.
Steve bleated as a long, furry tail jutted out of his naked back. Sweat dripped off his skin
where it wasn't yet covered with grey fur. He bleated again as his nose began to widen and his
face to push forward. His hair had greyed and become coarse and short, and two bumps were
protruding from his forehead just above his lengthening ears.
Karen cried and held the goat as he bleated again for the first time as a full goat. She wept
and held the goat tightly even as he squirmed and tried to get free. Finally, she let him go and he
walked only a short distance away to the other side of the bed and looked at her. Karen thought
there might still be something left of Steve from the way he looked at her, but that was quickly
out when he started chewing the bedspread. She stood angrily, ripped him away from it, and led
him outside by the scuff of his neck. She closed the door and slumped, naked and crying against
it. She shuffled wearily back to the bed, kicking the fan she had dropped on the way. More of
the dust flew into the air and collected on her leg, but she didn't notice as she lay back in bed and
cried herself to sleep.
Karen was awakened by the sound of bleating from the back yard. She rubbed her eyes
and stretched her arms out first, then ran them down her body in another stretch. She was jolted
fully awake when her hands hit four large bumps on her stomach. She looked and saw four big
nipples bulging out of her belly. She pinched them experimentally and was surprised to find them
extremely sensitive and still growing.
"Oh no!" she exclaimed. "Looks like I'm joining you, Steve."
Karen got out of bed and walked to the bathroom, her back feeling a little stiff. She wept
harshly as she looked into the mirror and saw her square pupils and the grey tips of her ears
sticking out of her thinning hair. Her knees felt weak and she sank to the floor wailing piteously,
covering her eyes with her stiffening fingers. Her body was wracked with sobs as grey hairs
sprouted on her chin and lengthened slowly despite her.
"Why?" she murmured babbling. "Why did this happen? What did I do to deserve this?"
She continued crying until she accidentally bleated, which startled her out of her reverie. She
looked down at her increasingly misshapen legs and the large, full-looking nipples hanging from
her stomach and knew that she had to get outside. She stood, forcefully hunched, and walked
towards the back door, a fleshy sack slowly inflating under her nipples. Her hardened and fusing
fingers couldn't work the knob, but she eventually managed to turn it. Steve wandered over and
sniffed at her curiously bulging stomach topped with four dangling nipples. The large sack made
her walk bowlegged out the door into the back yard where she sat, resigned to her fate. Steve
bleated at her as Karen's scent began changing.
Fur was spreading over her arms and legs which were splayed to allow her fat udder to lay
freely on the ground. She could feel her tail growing from her back and she cried as it wagged
and flipped about. Her fingers were now just vague impressions inside her solid, cloven hooves,
and that was rapidly changing. She dropped to her side as her back began to hurt the way she
was sitting. She bleated mournfully and looked over at Steve through changing eyes and saw his
goat penis already out of its sheath. While she had rejected it earlier, it now appealed to her and
teased her with it's presence. She worked herself up onto all fours, her shortening legs forcing
her ass into the air. Although she wanted the other goat in her, her changing body afforded her
the brief knowledge that she had already been fertilized. She didn't care. The thought occurred
to her human mind, then her human mind was gone. Steve slid up her back and rammed his penis
home as Karen's muzzle began to form. She stood steadily on four hooves as Steve's pumping
caused her udder to sway between her legs. As her fur beard grew in and horns grew on her
head, Steve spewed his goat cum into her body and her transformation subsided. The goat
dismounted and nuzzled his mate, and they began to graze.
A few weeks passed and the police were called to the house to investigate two missing
persons. They found only an open door and two goats in the back yard. The goats were taken to
an animal refuge, but the persons were never found.
As the months went on, Karen's animal belly ceased to curve upward and now protruded
downward and outward roundly. It had grown fat with her offspring, and, had she been human,
she might have worried about whether the offspring would be a human or a goat. The maternal
instincts of the nanny goat did not include these thoughts, however. Her udder swung heavily
with the weight of the milk being produced for her kid, and her swollen furry belly made it
difficult for her to walk.
One day, Karen's instinct took full control of her systems and she flopped down on her
side, her belly heaving, the caretaker of the refuge calling his wife over to watch. After a few
minutes, the muscles contracted in her base, simplistic, animal vagina and began to force out her
offspring. First, a wet splash of birth fluid made the loose dirt into mud, then, as the mass fell
further from her body, Karen stood again on all fours and pushed her kid all the way out. It
flopped limply on the ground and she turned and began to lick the wet, wriggling goat kid of its
placental sack and birth fluid. Later, it would drink her nourishing milk from one of the heavy
nipples which would squirt milk from her full udder and make a milky mess of her kid's face, but
she would be happy to clean that off as well.
We've gone out for dinner on a weeknight... a nice restaurant, soft candles, music in the background and such. There aren't too many people there with us and we have a corner table to ourselves. You're looking lovely in one of your short skirts and a nice blouse, and you know it - you've been teasing me all night and it's driving me crazy - leaning forward to let me see your beautiful tits down your top, or spreading your legs enough to show you're freshly shaven and not wearing any panties. Finally I can't take it any more. I reach over, grab your head and pull you to my face; kissing you deeply before you can protest, our tongues meeting and twisting between the two mouths. At the same time one of my hands reaches up to tease and massage those wonderful breasts, feeling the nipples harden beneath my palm. You moan a bit and then gasp as you feel my hand move down and start sliding up your legs, lifting the skirt as the cool air reaches your crotch... protesting that someone might see, but I tell you to shush...it's time to pay for your teasing.
I lift it up higher, pushing your legs apart as the fabric rides up to your hips... a few of the other people are watching by now, but no one says anything. I begin to massage your pussy while still kissing you - mostly just trailing my fingers over the lips, teasing your clit... not putting them in at all, but knowing that you're getting hotter. You're moaning a bit louder now, sitting with your legs splayed and everyone can see you're getting wet. I pull away from your face for a moment to take your clit between two fingers and pinch just a little as I tell you to open your blouse and show everyone your tits. Your breathing is in coming in gasps and pants by now... I pinch a little harder as you hesitate... then you reach up with shaking hands and unbutton your blouse, opening it slowly... rubbing and cupping your heaving breasts as you show them to the appreciative crowd. The nipples are obviously hard, and my mouth moves down to slowly lick across one as you moan again. "Good girl," I say, starting to rub your clit again as I suckle at a nipple for a moment... God, it's hard... and you're DRIPPING wet into my palm! It excites me so when you get like this.
Then I stand up and pull you to your own feet; telling you that you're still going to pay for teasing me. I turn you around and push gently on your shoulders to bend you over the table, lifting your skirt again as everyone gets a better view of your rear and the hot cleft between your legs. You look back over your shoulder, getting a little bit embarrassed again as you wonder what's next. Then I tell you to spread your legs so that your fans can see. You hesitate, then you feel the *SMACK* of my palm on your ass... a quick slap as you feel the heat of my hand. You moan again as you spread your feet slowly, still a little shy. Another *SMACK* as I say "Hurry..."
This time you comply... your legs shoulder width apart, still looking back as you're bent over the table... blushing in a mixture of pleasure and shame, with your ass pointed right at the crowd... two large red handprints still burning on your cheeks... you know that with your legs spread like this they can see your shaved lips, all swollen and dripping, and your own hand that has started working your nipple. I tell you you're not warm enough yet, as I continue to spank you - a slow rhythm, one butt cheek and then the other, letting you catch your breath for just a moment between each slap. You're getting wetter and hotter at the show you know everyone's getting, as well as with the punishment that you love.
Then my swats stop; you start to turn your head to look, but feel my hand pushing you back to the table as you hear me moving something behind you. Then you jump as you feel a slightly cold, thick liquid dripping onto your asscrack... just at the top... you wonder what it could be as you feel it slowly oozing down...lower...lower... finally with a tickle reaching your puckered little rosebud. My fingers touch you there then, massaging gently in circles around the rim of your ass. You gasp again, pushing your ass back to meet my touch as I slowly start to work a finger inside, the oily liquid easing the path into your tight hole. I pump it in and out all the way to my knuckle as as you moan louder... and then I surprise you with a sudden *SMACK* from my other hand...
Again pumping... and *SMACK*.
And again.
Loving the way your body jumps with each one, the way your ass clenches at my finger, and the way you look bent over like this as I prepare you. I have two fingers in you now - as deep as they will go as I twist and probe... still spanking you slowly with the other hand as I tell you this is what happens to naughty teases. Your butt cheeks are on fire, but your moans and gasps only get louder - and your pussy is running down your thighs it's so wet and hot.
Then you hear the sound you've been waiting for as I unzip my fly right behind you. I pull my fingers from you, seeing your now-lubed hole slowly tighten again... then immediately line up the head of my cock and start pushing slowly forward... you moan in that slight pain this time as you try to adjust to the size... the head of my dick finally popping inside you as you cry out... I pause for a moment to let you adjust... and to revel in the exquisite tightness... and then I start to push deeper... slowly but firmly... feeling you stretch wide... a low moaning cry/wail of pain and pleasure the whole time as my cock fills your ass. God what an incredible feeling! Finally I'm buried to the balls as I rest for a moment, enjoying the sheath around my hardness as you look at all the people watching me sodomize you.
Then, I start to fuck you - no more gentleness, but long, hard strokes filling you deep inside. One of my hands pressing your shoulder blades holding you down, the other slapping your ass again... switching sides every few strokes to *SMACK* you hard. You can feel my balls slap your pussy and clit as I bury myself each time, and I can feel the heat from your crotch upon mine. The people left in the room have all moved a bit closer, strangely silent as they observe our passion. I'm talking in your ear the whole time, asking if my girl likes her assfucking; if she likes being punished for teasing. The yes's of your response lost in your moans, the sounds of you begging me to fuck you harder and deeper.
I'm moving faster now, the oil making it easier to use your tightest hole. You reach one hand down to rub your clit in time with my thrusts as your own pleasure rises, loving the way I drive you into the table with a grunt each time I bury myself, deeper than you thought anyone could go. Moving faster as our breathing both gets heavier, the pants and cries indistinguishable from each other. Until finally... I cry out... shoving all the way in as my cock erupts inside you... hot sticky jets of cum shooting out... filling your bowels in that unique way... your own fingers pinching your clit as you cry out and shake in orgasm under me. Holding myself deep as we spasm together. Then taking a last few hard jabs with my still-embedded prick as I look down to see your hole, red and raw around me with my sperm glistening as it oozes out. Then pulling myself from you, still holding you down as I wipe myself clean and put my cock back inside my pants. Only then pulling you to your own feet to lead your still-dazed body out the restaurant past everyone as you feel my sticky cum slowly oozing from your burning hole...
there should be no comma between "nasty" and "manchode".
you're welcome, fruity-ass.
Hit me
Going going gone
Now I dialed 911 a long time ago
Don't you see how late they're reactin'
They only come and they come when they wanna
So get the morgue embalm the goner
They don't care 'cause they stay paid anyway
They teach ya like an ace they can't be betrayed
I know you stumble with no use people
If your life is on the line they you're dead today
Late comings with the late comin' stretcher
That's a body bag in disguise y'all betcha
I call 'em body snatchers quick they come to fetch ya?
With an autopsy ambulance just to dissect ya
They are the kings 'cause they swing amputation
Lose your arms, your legs to them it's compilation
I can prove it to you watch the rotation
It all adds up to a funky situation
So get up get, get get down
911 is a joke in yo town
Get up, get, get, get down
Late 911 wears the late crown
911 is a joke
Everyday they don't never come correct
You can ask my man right here with the broken neck
He's a witness to the job never bein' done
He would've been in full in 8 9-11
Was a joke 'cause they always jokin'
They the token to your life when it's croakin'
They need to be in a pawn shop on a
911 is a joke we don't want 'em
I call a cab 'cause a cab will come quicker
The doctors huddle up and call a flea flicker
The reason that I say that 'cause they
Flick you off like fleas
They be laughin' at ya while you're crawlin' on your knees
And to the strength so go the length
Thinkin' you are first when you really are tenth
You better wake up and smell the real flavor
Cause 911 is a fake life saver
So get up, get, get get down
911 is a joke in yo town
Get up, get, get, get down
Late 911 wears the late crown
Ow, ow 911 is a joke
--"911 Is a Joke" by Public Enemy
say it with me:
tell it like it is!
It's been 11 seconds since you hit reply!
w w w dot prairie home dot oh are gee
quite selfless of you! you clearly serve the CLIT!
the only reason i submit stories is to get goatse.cx on the front page. EEEthan gave a better writeup though, so he wins.