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User: sjonke

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  1. Here are the unpublished details on this hack on Apple Denies Wi-Fi Flaw, Researchers Confirm · · Score: 4, Funny

    1. Take your MacBook and sit it on table
          2. Log in to the MacBook with your username and password
          3. Turn on "Remote Login" in the "Sharing" system preferences pane if it isn't already on
          4. Select your wireless network from the menu in the menubar and enter the password
          5. Write down the IP address that you see in the TCP/IP tab of the airport settings on the MacBook. You'll need it later.
          6. Take a different computer of yours and connect to the same wireless network and enter the password
          7. Bring up a terminal and type in ssh://
          8. At the login prompt enter your username and password
          9. You're in baby, have a fuckin' field day!!!

  2. Applying open-sourcing to the real world on Java to be Open Sourced in October · · Score: 1

    If Colonel Sanders would open-source those eleven herbs and spices, we could finally know with certainty how many of them are salt.

  3. Suggested compromise on Backlash Against British Encryption Law · · Score: 1

    Rather than making it a crime to not decrypt encrypted files, they could go the positive incentive route. For example, they could, if Joe Blow unlocks his uncrypted files for them, ensure nothing bad will happen to his kids, such as them being forced to perform sex acts on the chief of police.

  4. The great thing about this on Nintendo Confirms Free Online Play For Wii · · Score: 2, Funny

    The great thing about this is that instead of using a $600 console and paying monthly fees to purchase, download and play Pac Man, you can use a $300 console without paying montly fees to purchase, download and play Pac Man!

  5. Misquoted on Studios OK Burning Movie Downloads · · Score: 5, Funny

    It actually said, "Studios OK Burning Movie Downloaders".

  6. Sorry, I am out of the office on Michigan Enforces Do-Not-Email Registry Law · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    Sorry, but Deborah Platt Majoras is shaving her roomate's pussy and unable to respond your email at this time.

    Feel showers of real young nastiness!!
            http://shavemypink.com/

    Real men. Real meat.
            http://manburgerhelper.com/

    Got horn-y?
            http://interspecieserotica.com/

  7. I'm trying hard... on Japan Plans a Moonbase by 2030 · · Score: 1

    ... don't ... no! ... must not ... arghhhh ... can't reezzziiissstttt... All Your... URRRRRRR... All Your Moo... UNNNGGHH... All Your Moon Baaasse... SLAAAAP!!! SLAAAPP!! SLAAAPP!! Unnn! ........... I won't... I won't Mistress O, I won't do it again! I'll resist! I'll resist! Please don'... nnnoooo!!! CRACKKKK! CRACCCCKKKK! CRAAACCCKKKKKKKKK!

    Unnngggggghhhhh....

    Oh... oh... thank you. Thank you....

    11,453 yen was it?

  8. Design suggestion on Microsoft Encouraging OEMs to Beautify Computers · · Score: 3, Funny

    A number of years ago there was a brief trend of clothing that had been shot full of holes. People were selling jeans, t-shirts, jackets, etc, that had been shot with automatic rifles and such. Manufacturers of Windows PCs should try to bring that idea back. Aside from being an cheap and easy way to make a generic case look cool, it will save the buyer's valuable time (and ammunication.)

  9. Hardly the worst security flaw of voting machines on Worst Ever Security Flaw in Diebold Voting Machine · · Score: 1

    I was going to put in an obvious voting-machines-put-GW-back-in-office-as-major-sec urity-flaw joke here, but I've since decided, to avoid political fire, to put the question of weather or not to post this joke up for vote. Trust me on this, though: the yeas have it.

  10. I call bullshit on RFID-enabled Vehicles: Pinch My Ride · · Score: 5, Funny

    They didn't bother to steal the plus-sized, chrome spinny wheels?

  11. New clue on 'Final Edition' of Blade Runner to be Released · · Score: 1

    The "Final Edition" features a previously unseen clue to Deckard's replicant-ness. It's not that Deckard shoots second, rather that they shoot at the same time. Thus he's got to be a replicant. That plus the glowing penis.

  12. Of course OpenDocument is slower on Microsoft Claims OpenDocument is Too Slow · · Score: 0, Troll

    Your Vista system will bluescreen every time you try to launch an application that supports OpenDocument, and all that rebooting is a real time killer. Better to stick with the only four programs Microsoft testers tested on Vista: Microsoft Word, Microsoft Excel, Microsoft PowerPoint and Resume Builder

  13. Unitentional release of new feature on Symantec AntiVirus Hole Found · · Score: 3, Funny

    This gaping hole is intentional, but it wasn't suppose to be released yet. That was a mistake. It's a new Symantec Anti-Virus feature called "Wide Open Front Door". WOFD opens up many large security holes in your system, with the intention of confusing attackers - when a potential attacker finds a system with so many massive, gaping security flaws, they figure their must not be anything interesting inside because if there were the system would certainly be locked down tight. The potential attacker will figure it's not worth the trouble and attack some other system instead.

  14. Only one problem on MS Proposes JPEG Alternative · · Score: 4, Funny

    All images encoded with Windows Media Photo have a blue cast to them

  15. Retribution on Student Faces Expulsion for Blog Post · · Score: 1

    The kid has since beat up an even littler school district

  16. Microsoft software has always been "Pay-As-You-Go" on Microsoft Introduces Pay-as-You-Go Computing · · Score: 1

    The money was gone long ago - all I have left is emotional stability, and Microsoft takes a little bit of that away every time I try to get paragraph styles to work right.

  17. Choice of control method on Super Smash Brothers Wii, Featuring Solid Snake · · Score: 1

    I think the fact that this game will offer a choice of control methods is a bad sign. Before the system is even launched they are already planning a way around it, and there can only be one reason for that: the motion sensing remote doesn't work very well in the game. How many other games will have similarly token support for the motion sensing remote? At what point does everyone decide that maybe this motion sensing remote thing was just a gimmick?

  18. Why you'll want to buy an Xbox 360 and a Wii on Microsoft Sides With Nintendo Against Sony · · Score: 5, Funny

    Microsoft's thinking is that every swing of the club/bat/racket Wii remote will send a cooling breeze of air over the Xbox 360, ensuring a longer lifespan for it. Of course this logic is flawed because users of the Wii remote will get so infuriated with the voodoo, not quite in sync gameplay of Wii games that they'll throw the Wii remote and nunchaka with great force, likely hitting the Xbox 360 in the process.

  19. You can swing it, but can you hit the ball? on Resident Evil, Game On With Wii · · Score: 1

    The motion sensing controlling sounds fun at first, but I keep coming back to the same problem: while you can swing it like a golf club, there still is no ball sitting there for you to hit. So how do you hit the ball? Is it entirely arbitrary, randomly deciding whether or not you hit it solid, or does it decide that a certain point on the floor is the ball, and you have to try to guess where that might be? And what about height? Did you get the club under the ball? In line with the ball? Above? How does the player know where the end of the club is? If you guess right you hit the ball well, and if you guess wrong, you don't. How long can such voodoo keep you entertained?

  20. There could be a use for this on MPAA training Dogs to Sniff Out DVDs · · Score: 2, Funny

    Dogs like to sniff dog butts. Perhaps, then, they can detect all the crappy movies the MPAA is making and put them into the "lost pile", along with my luggage.

  21. "Wii" pronounced "Wee" on Both Sides of Wii · · Score: 1

    Wee "Wii"?
    Bicause "Woo" is taken and wouldn't fit the family nature of Nentindo.

  22. It wasn't funny on Star Wars Kid Cuts a Deal With His Tormentors · · Score: 2, Insightful

    This kid's life had to have been hell since. Odds are it wasn't exactly gravy before either. Why does any child deserve this kind of public humiliation? We should be genuinely proud of him for not taking another approach that some horribly bullied kids take of late: a shooting rampage and suicide. And you wonder why that type of thing happens. It isn't an accident, folks. They weren't fucked in the head to start with. If you torment a child to the extreme, there's no telling what direction they will go - they are too young for this stuff. I have two young boys and I worry about what they'll encounter as they go through school. There was nothing funny about this public humiliation. Nothing at all. Everyone reading this thread should be required to rent the film Welcome To The Dollhouse.

  23. Re:Filesystems used? Dual vs concurrent booting? on Apple Officially Releases Beta Dual Boot Loader · · Score: 1

    Myself, I see Windows not being able to access the Mac OS X partion(s) as a good thing. I can run the occasional windows game without having to worry about all my important files, which will be on the Mac OS X partitions. Limiting Windows' access is a good thing.

  24. Re:The big difference on Apple Officially Releases Beta Dual Boot Loader · · Score: 1

    You aren't the target audience. You aren't going to switch to OS X even if the Windows SLA is changed to require you to be castrated.

  25. Re:The big difference on Apple Officially Releases Beta Dual Boot Loader · · Score: 1

    Uh, none of those other brands you mention are capable of running OS X. If you don't want to run OS X, you probably aren't going to be buying a Mac. Apple isn't trying to sell Windows PCs and they don't want to compete in that market. They are selling Macs and they want Windows users to switch to Mac OS X. This breaks down some barriers to doing that.