> I though the headline read, "MILF Claims Free Software Movement Dead."
Hey, we can go ragging on Bill (be it Gates or Hilf), and the chair-throwing monkey-boy minion, but leave Melinda outa of it. At least until she gives us reason not to leave her out of it, of course.
> In my server room I actually play the computer "noises" from old Star Trek in the background on a CD boombox set to repeat!
I'm even worse. My MAME cab plays Arcade Ambience in the background when it's idle.
It might be fun to hook up a few LEDs in parallel to the controller inputs, drill a few discreet holes in the corners of the cabinet, and point the input-switched LEDs towards the corners of the room.
> I hate to say it, but this REALLY.....REALLY sucks. SciFi must care more about wrestling then anything else.
And what's wrong with wrestling? Open the event with the battle of the MILFs -- President Laura "The Amazon" Roslin vs. D'Anna "I'm Not Xena" Biers. Have Boomer walk the ring in a tight bikini, holding up the round cards. End the series with the grand finale: Starbuck vs. Six, and hold it the landing bay of a Cylon base star's worth of jello!
> there's STILL time!
After sitting through an entire season of budget-constrained character development... "there sure is, buddy, there sure is."
> Only problem is if you're locating them in two separate locations that they need to be able to communicate with each other and keep identical copies of the website and be able to connect to any databases you may need.
Depending on the industry, that's a very real problem.
Sysadmin: "Don't worry, we're already switched over to the hot spare, just get out of there!"
CIO: "What if the whole building goes?"
Sysadmin: "No worries. Remember that $1M we spent stringing all that fiber over to the other datacenter?"
CIO: "Oh yeah, the one in WTC 2!"
Sysadmin: "Aaw, shit."
> the studio said it will immediately halt all "promotional and word-of-mouth screenings"
Prediction: by August, there'll be a press release noting that revenues for Ocean's Thirteen and Harry Potter were low, and that it'sss all the faults of those tricksy pirateses stealing their preciousss, and that (surprise, surprise), the only solution is that the Canadian government "harmonize" its rules with the US by passing something equivalent to (or worse than) the DMCA.
"Come on," he droned, "I've been ordered to defuse this bomb. Here I am, brain the size of a planet and they ask me to take you defuse this bomb. Call that job satisfaction? 'Cos I don't."
Although, under the circumstances, I think the scene involving God's Final Message to All Creation would be more appropriate.
...After a final pause, Marvin gathered his strength for the last stretch.
He read the "e", the "n", the "c" and at last the final "e", and staggered back into their arms.
"I think," he murmured at last, from deep within his corroding rattling thorax, "I feel good about it."
The lights went out in his eyes for absolutely the very last time ever.
Luckily, there was a stall nearby where you could rent scooters from guys with green wings.
- Douglas Adams, So Long, And Thanks For All The Fish, Chapter 40
It's appropriately Zen, and overloads the symbol for the muon to the delight and confusion of everyone (and isn't delight and confusion what quantum physics about in the first place?), which makes it even more appropriately Zen.
> >...The more you tighten your grip, Tarkin, the more star systems will slip through your fingers. >
> Yes. Just before the Death Star blew her home world to smithereens.
"I feel something hilarious has happened. As if 13,256,278,887,989,457,651,018,865,901,401,704,640 geeks cried out in laughter, and were never silenced."
> But let's hope that's not the case here, eh?
Not very long ago, on a website only a few dozen hops away, a great adventure took place.
(cue scrolling text)
Code Wars IV: A New Hope
"It is a period of civil war. Rebel bloggers, striking from all your base, have won their first victory against the evil MAFIAA Empire.
"During the battle, Rebel spies managed to steal secret keys to the MAFIAA's ultimate weapon, the AACS, an armored DRM system with enough power to annoy an entire planet.
"Pursued by the AACSLA's sinister agents, Princess Leia races home aboard her starship, custodian of the leaked key that can save her people and restore fair use to the digital media..."
Ahem. You know it's gonna be one of those weird filks when I post with "With Apologies To" in the Subject: line. Not sure how this got here. Probably the same twisted place that Natalie's Restaurant came from.
At any rate, this is a parody of Allan Sherman's tirade against all-digit dialing, "The Let's All Call Up AT&T And Protest To The President March". By staggering coincidence, the original was inspired by someone posting it in on USENET in the.mp3.comedy group. Weren't me, although my parents turned me onto Mr. Sherman's parodies by giving me their vinyl original that they'd owned since before I was born.
By even more coincidence, you can sing it as either: "Let's all post the Processing Key and fuck AACSLA" March,
for rather obvious reasons, or the "Let's all post To D-I-G-G and say 'fark you' to Kevin Rose" March, (on account of every single story on digg.com's front page, as the original poster already linked to in TFA)
By utterly unsurprising coincidence, and like every filk I write here, this parody is in the public domain, and you can sing it however you like, although in this case it'll probably be funnier if you keep the numbers the way they was written.
AACS VERSION:
It's the "Let's all post the processing key and fuck AACSLA!" march! Watch their lawyers worry and fidget, Cease and DE-sisting sixteen hex digits!
So let's all post the processing key and fuck AACSLA, march! So protest! (so protest!)
Do your best! (do your best!) Let us show them that we post in unity. If they won't (if they won't!), Change the rules (change the rules!),
Let's buy our movies from another monopoly!
Let's all post the processing key and fuck AACSLA march.
Let us wake their landsharks from slumber, Get a pencil, I'll give you their number.
It's Nine, Eff-nine, One-one, Two, Nine-D, SevenTY-four, Eee-three, Five-B... (dash!)
Dee-eight, four-one, five-six, Cee-five, Sixty-three, fifty-six, eight-eight... (hyphen!)
And now that you're on the right road, Don't forget to end with Cee-0h!
Here's to freedom and fair use! 09F9! 1102s!
Watch your HD-DVD! 9D74! E35B!
Let's keep that 16-byte key alive! D841! 56C5!
AACS is totally broke! 6356! 88C0! Hooray!
To arnezami's mental fiber,
We'll erect a triumphal arch!
For the "let's all post the processing key and fuck AACSLA!" march.
And since we're long (about 2 and a half months!) past the point that a parody of the AACS key wouldn't be complete without the DIGG VERSION:
It's the "Let's all post To D-I-G-G and say 'fark you' to Kevin Rose" march!
Watch him worry, watch as he fidgets,
As his users post sixteen hex digits!
So let's all post to D-I-G-G and say 'fuck you' to Kevin Rose march.
So protest! (so protest!)
Do your best! (do your best!)
Let us show him that we digg in unity.
If he won't (if he won't!),
Change the rules (change the rules!),
Let's take our pageviews to Slashdot's company!
Let's all post to D-I-G-G and say 'fuck you' to Kevin Rose march.
Let us wake him up in his slumber.
Get a pencil, I'll give you his number.
It's Nine, Eff-nine, One-one, Two, Nine-D,
SevenTY-four, Eee-three, Five-B... (dash!)
Dee-eight, four-one, five-six, Cee-five,
Sixty-three, fifty-six, eight-eight... (hyphen!)
And now that you're on the right road,
Don't forget to end with Cee-0h!
Here's to freedom and fair use!
09F9! 1102s!
Watch your HD-DVD!
9D74! E35B!
Let's keep that 16-byte key alive!
D841! 56C5!
AACS is totally broke!
6356! 88C0! Hooray!
To arnezami's mental fiber, We'll erect a triumphal arch! For the let's all post to D-I-G-G and say 'fuck you' to Kevin Rose march.
And don't make me deal with this "Your comment has too few characters per line (currently 35.7)", because it's a long pair of
"09 F9 11 02 9D 74 E3 5B D8 41 56 C5 63 56 88 C0"? That's the stupidest key I've ever heard of in my life! That's the kind of processing key someone would put on their copy of Spaceballs: The HD-DVD!
> Microsoft Australia's Chief Security Adviser Peter Watson calls UAC a great idea and 'strategically a direction that all operating systems and all technologies should be heading down.'
Translation: "If we can get all the other operating systems to follow our lead, we can claim some sort of patent infringment on 'em."
> The fact is that Microsoft is late to the party with their Microsoftized version of sudo. That's really what UAC is, after all: sudo with a fancy display mechanism (to make it hard to spoof) and extra monitoring to pick up on "suspicious" behavior.'"
The fact that Microsoft is late to the party is what makes it a patent trap. If it were just sudo, it wouldn't be patentable. When it's "a method for controlling process elevation, comprised of (sudo) and (a fancy display mechanism) and (extra monitoring)", it becomes patentable.
Microsoft is setting a trap for future patent lawsuits. Deny or Allow?
> I think there's noth**Call Geico 1-800-861-8380 - So easy a cave man could do it**ing wrong with this business model
We're sorry, the number you have reached has been disconnected. To continue watching this HD-DVD, please install Linux, and call 09 F9 11 02 9D 74 E3 5B D8 41 56 C5 63 56 88 C0.
...had been obvious to all of us reading Slashdot, even between the 500/503 errors, but that didn't stop the Economist from making a small fortune when they used it in their trilogy of editorial blockbusters including:
Some More of DRM's Greatest Mistakes, Well That About Wraps It Up for DRM, and What Is This DRM Shit Anyway?
> The internet is a collection of ideas, presented to users in a vast array of increasingly easier to use methods, by a plethora of individuals, groups, small businesses, corporations and governments, for multiple purposes involving money, fact and/or opinion. No single group of aligned parties shall control the Internet, or the Internet shall be no longer valid.
Usenet was not the Internet, but back when it was most of what the Internet was used for, Gene Spafford said the same thing, albeit somewhat more whimsically:
"Usenet is like a herd of performing elephants with diarrhea -- massive, difficult to redirect, awe-inspiring, entertaining, and a source of mind-boggling amounts of excrement when you least expect it." - Gene Spafford, 1992
> I was under the impression that while flash drives boasted impressive read speeds, they were fairly plodding in the write speed department. Am I mistaken?
If you're using an SSD in a laptop, you've got a pretty reliable way of powering a huge on-drive write cache. Even a "drained" laptop battery will have no trouble powering a solid state drive for a few seconds after the power-hungry CPU and display have shut down.
> BEHOLD ! I am TEMPEST, thy LORD and MASTER ! Bow before ME ! Fear ME ! I see ALL*! > >
*its a bit fuzzy, like snowy tv - BUT I SEE ALL !! FEAR ME !!!
Hey, you, get back in that teapot!
I met a man upon a stair,
A little man who wasn't there,
He's reading all our screens today,
I think he works for NSA!
Slashdot Mirror
Hey, we can go ragging on Bill (be it Gates or Hilf), and the chair-throwing monkey-boy minion, but leave Melinda outa of it. At least until she gives us reason not to leave her out of it, of course.
I'm even worse. My MAME cab plays Arcade Ambience in the background when it's idle.
It might be fun to hook up a few LEDs in parallel to the controller inputs, drill a few discreet holes in the corners of the cabinet, and point the input-switched LEDs towards the corners of the room.
No telepathic UI. Less screen space than a Nano. Lame.
And what's wrong with wrestling? Open the event with the battle of the MILFs -- President Laura "The Amazon" Roslin vs. D'Anna "I'm Not Xena" Biers. Have Boomer walk the ring in a tight bikini, holding up the round cards. End the series with the grand finale: Starbuck vs. Six, and hold it the landing bay of a Cylon base star's worth of jello!
> there's STILL time!
After sitting through an entire season of budget-constrained character development... "there sure is, buddy, there sure is."
Depending on the industry, that's a very real problem.
Sysadmin: "Don't worry, we're already switched over to the hot spare, just get out of there!"
CIO: "What if the whole building goes?"
Sysadmin: "No worries. Remember that $1M we spent stringing all that fiber over to the other datacenter?"
CIO: "Oh yeah, the one in WTC 2!"
Sysadmin: "Aaw, shit."
Prediction: by August, there'll be a press release noting that revenues for Ocean's Thirteen and Harry Potter were low, and that it'sss all the faults of those tricksy pirateses stealing their preciousss, and that (surprise, surprise), the only solution is that the Canadian government "harmonize" its rules with the US by passing something equivalent to (or worse than) the DMCA.
Janie Crane: "Edison... an off switch!"
Metrocop: "She'll get years for that. Off switches are illegal!"
- from Max Headroom, Episode 1.6, Blanks
Although, under the circumstances, I think the scene involving God's Final Message to All Creation would be more appropriate.
- Douglas Adams, So Long, And Thanks For All The Fish, Chapter 40How about "Yes, No, Mu"?
It's appropriately Zen, and overloads the symbol for the muon to the delight and confusion of everyone (and isn't delight and confusion what quantum physics about in the first place?), which makes it even more appropriately Zen.
Nope. Heck, kill -8 is just a floating point exception. It's kill -9 that Hans has to worry about.
On the other hand, the guy making the confession did fsck her...
Hey, if she didn't want to get pwn3d, she shouldn't have walked into an open PVP zone wearing n00b armor and asking "ne1 want help with molten core?"
>
> Yes. Just before the Death Star blew her home world to smithereens.
"I feel something hilarious has happened. As if 13,256,278,887,989,457,651,018,865,901,401,704,640 geeks cried out in laughter, and were never silenced."
> But let's hope that's not the case here, eh?
Not very long ago, on a website only a few dozen hops away, a great adventure took place.
(cue scrolling text)
Code Wars IV: A New Hope
"It is a period of civil war. Rebel bloggers, striking from all your base, have won their first victory against the evil MAFIAA Empire.
"During the battle, Rebel spies managed to steal secret keys to the MAFIAA's ultimate weapon, the AACS, an armored DRM system with enough power to annoy an entire planet.
"Pursued by the AACSLA's sinister agents, Princess Leia races home aboard her starship, custodian of the leaked key that can save her people and restore fair use to the digital media..."
"It's a HONEYPOT!"
At any rate, this is a parody of Allan Sherman's tirade against all-digit dialing, "The Let's All Call Up AT&T And Protest To The President March". By staggering coincidence, the original was inspired by someone posting it in on USENET in the .mp3.comedy group. Weren't me, although my parents turned me onto Mr. Sherman's parodies by giving me their vinyl original that they'd owned since before I was born.
By even more coincidence, you can sing it as either: "Let's all post the Processing Key and fuck AACSLA" March, for rather obvious reasons, or the "Let's all post To D-I-G-G and say 'fark you' to Kevin Rose" March, (on account of every single story on digg.com's front page, as the original poster already linked to in TFA)
By utterly unsurprising coincidence, and like every filk I write here, this parody is in the public domain, and you can sing it however you like, although in this case it'll probably be funnier if you keep the numbers the way they was written.
AACS VERSION:
It's the "Let's all post the processing key and fuck AACSLA!" march!
Watch their lawyers worry and fidget,
Cease and DE-sisting sixteen hex digits!
So let's all post the processing key and fuck AACSLA, march!
So protest! (so protest!)
Do your best! (do your best!)
Let us show them that we post in unity.
If they won't (if they won't!),
Change the rules (change the rules!),
Let's buy our movies from another monopoly!
Let's all post the processing key and fuck AACSLA march.
Let us wake their landsharks from slumber,
Get a pencil, I'll give you their number.
It's Nine, Eff-nine, One-one, Two, Nine-D,
SevenTY-four, Eee-three, Five-B... (dash!)
Dee-eight, four-one, five-six, Cee-five,
Sixty-three, fifty-six, eight-eight... (hyphen!)
And now that you're on the right road,
Don't forget to end with Cee-0h!
Here's to freedom and fair use! 09F9! 1102s!
Watch your HD-DVD! 9D74! E35B!
Let's keep that 16-byte key alive!
D841! 56C5! AACS is totally broke! 6356! 88C0! Hooray!
To arnezami's mental fiber,
We'll erect a triumphal arch!
For the "let's all post the processing key and fuck AACSLA!" march.
And since we're long (about 2 and a half months!) past the point that a parody of the AACS key wouldn't be complete without the
DIGG VERSION:
It's the "Let's all post To D-I-G-G and say 'fark you' to Kevin Rose" march!
Watch him worry, watch as he fidgets,
As his users post sixteen hex digits!
So let's all post to D-I-G-G and say 'fuck you' to Kevin Rose march.
So protest! (so protest!)
Do your best! (do your best!)
Let us show him that we digg in unity.
If he won't (if he won't!),
Change the rules (change the rules!),
Let's take our pageviews to Slashdot's company!
Let's all post to D-I-G-G and say 'fuck you' to Kevin Rose march.
Let us wake him up in his slumber.
Get a pencil, I'll give you his number.
It's Nine, Eff-nine, One-one, Two, Nine-D,
SevenTY-four, Eee-three, Five-B... (dash!)
Dee-eight, four-one, five-six, Cee-five,
Sixty-three, fifty-six, eight-eight... (hyphen!)
And now that you're on the right road,
Don't forget to end with Cee-0h!
Here's to freedom and fair use! 09F9! 1102s!
Watch your HD-DVD! 9D74! E35B!
Let's keep that 16-byte key alive! D841! 56C5!
AACS is totally broke! 6356! 88C0! Hooray!
To arnezami's mental fiber,
We'll erect a triumphal arch!
For the let's all post to D-I-G-G and say 'fuck you' to Kevin Rose march.
And don't make me deal with this "Your comment has too few characters per line (currently 35.7)", because it's a long pair of
I just saw something interesting on a thread on That Other Site...
Y'know what you get when you cross DRM with Ted Stevens with Gene Ray with Rosslyn Chapel? It's a series of cubes!
That's a great key! I'm gonna use it on Spaceballs: The HD-DVD!
"09 F9 11 02 9D 74 E3 5B D8 41 56 C5 63 56 88 C0"? That's the stupidest key I've ever heard of in my life! That's the kind of processing key someone would put on their copy of Spaceballs: The HD-DVD!
Translation: "If we can get all the other operating systems to follow our lead, we can claim some sort of patent infringment on 'em."
> The fact is that Microsoft is late to the party with their Microsoftized version of sudo. That's really what UAC is, after all: sudo with a fancy display mechanism (to make it hard to spoof) and extra monitoring to pick up on "suspicious" behavior.'"
The fact that Microsoft is late to the party is what makes it a patent trap. If it were just sudo, it wouldn't be patentable. When it's "a method for controlling process elevation, comprised of (sudo) and (a fancy display mechanism) and (extra monitoring)", it becomes patentable.
Microsoft is setting a trap for future patent lawsuits. Deny or Allow?
We're sorry, the number you have reached has been disconnected. To continue watching this HD-DVD, please install Linux, and call 09 F9 11 02 9D 74 E3 5B D8 41 56 C5 63 56 88 C0.
Some More of DRM's Greatest Mistakes, Well That About Wraps It Up for DRM, and What Is This DRM Shit Anyway?
Usenet was not the Internet, but back when it was most of what the Internet was used for, Gene Spafford said the same thing, albeit somewhat more whimsically:
"Usenet is like a herd of performing elephants with diarrhea -- massive, difficult to redirect, awe-inspiring, entertaining, and a source of mind-boggling amounts of excrement when you least expect it."
- Gene Spafford, 1992
If you're using an SSD in a laptop, you've got a pretty reliable way of powering a huge on-drive write cache. Even a "drained" laptop battery will have no trouble powering a solid state drive for a few seconds after the power-hungry CPU and display have shut down.
It'll be like Second Life Safari meets SWAP.AVI.
Is the abuse department hiring? And when we find spammers... how much do we get to abuse them?
>
> *its a bit fuzzy, like snowy tv - BUT I SEE ALL !! FEAR ME !!!
Hey, you, get back in that teapot!
I met a man upon a stair,
A little man who wasn't there,
He's reading all our screens today,
I think he works for NSA!