> > Should have used caltraps instead of mantraps. > >
One, this is completely inane. > >
And two... it's caltrOps! And what would a bunch of tacks do to improve security anyway? I mean, sure, in a dungeon it'd work, but still...
> Microsoft: Yeah, you can take this shortcut through our guildhall to the Orc Camp.
You: Cool
Microsoft: Now just sheath your sword and look straight ahead...
You: Okay (starts walking)
Without warning, Microsoft stabs you from behind!
Microsoft massacres you with incredible force.
Microsoft massacres you with incredible force.
You are bleeding to death...
Or it could go this way...
Microsoft: Now just sheath your sword and look straight ahead...
You: Okay (starts walking)
Gates: Right. Stick to the plan.
Ballmer: Embrace, enbalm, extinguish.
Darl: All right chums, I'm back! Let's do this! LEEROOOOOOOY JEEENKIIIIIINSSS!!! [runs into you with a lawsuit]
You: WTF?
Gates: [incredulous]... Oh my God he just ran in. [provides more capital]
Ballmer: Oh jeez, stick to the plan.
Penrose: [shoots self] Penrose down. Penrose down.
Gates: Oh man.
ValleyGirl: [shoots self] I'm down. Val down.
Baystar: RBC, rez us! RBC, rez us!
RoyalBank: RBC down, sorry Baystar. No more funding. RBC down.
Baystar: Oh God.
Yarro: Oh God.
You strike the Windows installation with a penguin.
Microsoft is bleeding to death...
Gates: Why you do this shit Darl?
Ballmer: Darl, you are just stupid as hell.
SCO: 'Least I have chicken.
> > A reptile that lived 225 million years ago had triangular-shaped wings
> >You mean "6,000 years ago an all-powerful sky-wizard designed a miraculous flying beast and a mate for travel on Noah's Ark."
You mean "Noahs Aircraft Carrier" (which was itself merely the CV-1 "Gilgamesh" dug out of mothballs with a new set of flags:)
> > How about an article about the Nagging Slashdot Dupe Queue. [slashdot.org]. > >You do understand that Backslash highlites user comments from a recent story, right?
Backslash: That Nagging Slashdot Dupe Queue
Posted by timothy on 12:03 PM -- Wednesday July 19 2006
from the failure-to-grok-backslash dept.
Dupe: Backslash: That Nagging Slashdot Dupe Queue
Posted by CmdrTaco on 12:03 PM -- Thursday July 20 2006
from the failure-to-check-for-backslash-dupes dept.
Backslash: Dupe: Backslash: That Nagging Slashdot Dupe Queue
Posted by CmdrTaco on 12:03 PM -- Friday July 21 2006
from the failure-to-grok-recursion dept.
Stacksmash: Backlash of Stack-Smashing Slashdotters Backslash Slashdot: Backslash: Dupe: Backslash: That Nagging Slashdot Dupe Que~``~1[][}
Posted by Fandango On Core on 3:15 AM -- Tuesday January 19 2038
from the failure-to-check-for-bounsegmentation fault -- core dumped
> You're thinking that nobody will ever win that $1 million. I think I might be on to something...
As a matter of fact, Brain, I am pondering what you're pondering! Brilliant! We do the same thing we do every night, trying to take over EarthGov! The Corps is Mother, the Corps is Father, 'n' all that rot! NARF!
> > The National Information Exchange Model (NIEM) 1.0 Beta is out. It's big, really big.
> >
But that's peanuts to space.
I mean you think there's a long list of entities in the
markup for your CSS/AJAX/Web2.0 project's folksonomy, but
that's just peanuts to the NIEM," and so on.
After a while, the spec settles down a bit and tells
you things you really want to know, like the fact that the
fabulously corrupt city of Washington D.C.
is now so enamored of the
cumulative fiscal erosion by
ten billion visiting lobbyists a year
that any net imbalance between the amount you donate and the amount
you receive in federal contracts whilst on the take is surgically removed from your
bank account when you leave: so every time you go to K Street,
it is vitally important to get a receipt... and falsify it.
Re:What's a tit-bit?
on
Beginning GIMP
·
· Score: 4, Funny
> What's a tit-bit?
Zed: Bring out the Gimp. Maynard: But the Gimp's not installed. Zed: Well, I guess you're gonna have to go compile it, won't you?
(a few minutes later)
Marsellus: What now? Well let me tell you
what now. I'm gonna call a couple
layer-usin' designers, who'll go to
work on the source image here with a pair of
plugins and a tit-bit.
> I feel that there's not enough being done to curb gun violence here in Oakland Ca. So I'm going to shoot one person a day, every day, for the month of July. Any reports that I'm enjoying it are exaggerations.
(Not to put a downer on your funny post but...)
...it's more like "So I'm going to report every murder on the TV news, for everyone to see, until people get so fed up with seeing it every night, that they pressure the Oakland Police (who, just as Microsoft has a legal monopoly on its own source code, have the legal monopoly on the use of force in Oakland) to get off their asses and start doing something to stop it."
(Of course, just as in Oakland... we get bored of seeing a bunch of dead people every night on the news, and we get bored of seeing the latest exploit, and once the cops - and the vendors - figure out that after a certain point, we stop giving a shit, nothing gets done:)
Graphics are great these days, but gore doesn't disturb. I can watch the six o'clock news and get more gore than in the most violent zombie flicks written.
Storyline is what disturbs. Let's get back to telling real stories.
Such as Infocom's Trinity (about time travel and nuclear war), and
A Mind Forever Voyaging: Starts off with the mildly disturbing premise of what it's like to be a "brain in a vat, experiencing a computer simulation". Continues with the extremely disturbing unfolding of what happens when (because reality's just a computer simulation), the simulation extrapolates social/political consequences of what happens when one plugs in a certain Senator's "plan" to save the economy... and what happens to the brain in the vat when it starts to learn things about the "plan" that the dear Senator might not like.
AMFV was probably the most disturbing interactive fiction title that Infocom ever released. (Because we're arguably still playing it - you and me reading this - today.)
hotpoint14: I take off your pants, slowly, and gently massage them in my soapy warmth. maytagman: Oh I like that baby, after pretreating with detergent, I put in my robe and wizard hat. hotpoint14: What the f*ck, I told you not to message me again. maytagman: Oh **** damn I gotta write down your names or something
We decided to rename the "Liberty or Death" for the program clause to "No Surrendering Others' Freedom", which is a precise description of what it does. You're not allowed to surrender freedom on behalf of people who are going to get the program from you.
[a mobile phone rings]
If you are carrying a portable surveillance and tracking device, please turn it off. They have already tracked you here. They already know that you are listening to me, so there is no need for you to keep telling them that you are still here. And if they want to listen to what I am saying, we're going to publish the video recording anyway. They don't need to turn on your portable surveillance device to do it.
Now that we've established the ground rules, is Richard Stallman's beard going to have to choke a bitch?
The Computer History Museum in Mountain View has a restored
PDP-1, and yes, it runs Spacewar. Steve "Slug" Russell was part of the restoration project, and I'd bet good money that Kotok got to play it, barely two weeks before he died.
> > it would have been a truly beautiful and charming joke
> >Well, that post up there was a strange one. Those of us down here salute you.
That's a strong response, I'd say it's on top. This one is weak by comparison. It wouldn't hit the bottom end of a barn. (The broad sides of the barn of course, having been open to permit the the large rod to pass through it. Honest honey, it's bigger when it's not moving!)
> Mouse labs that wanted the "New Cheese - Extra Holes" or chose the new "Super mouse Wheel" over the plain one, presents this gene, thus humans who present this specific gene suffer from Neophilia!
Build a better moustrap, and only the Neophilic mice will beat a path to your door.
> You would think that nerds, who are supposedly intelligent, would choose music with real musical value, stuff like Rush or Dream Theater, or other non-manufactured musical types, even jazz or classical.
Filk is a long-standing Hackish tradition, and Nerdcore is merely its latest incarnation.
But since you asked, how about blues?
Just One More Hack, and then the author of the UPS debugger will put it on the 'net...
Well, I've written a debugger and it suits me just fine
It'll chase away your problems, turn your water into wine
It's got so many features, in fact it's bloody clever,
If it can't solve your problem then your problem probably never
can be solved
so you might as well pack it on in,
coz it's the best debugger that there's ever been.
It's got everything you wanted, everything you desire.
It'll handle fancy structures, set your soul on fire,
It'll indirect through pointers, and catch a falling star,
and if you ask it nicely it'll pop off to the bar and tell your friends
how to solve the problems they're in,
coz it's the best debugger that there's ever been.
If you've got a nasty problem and your data structure's bent
and your pointer's in a tangle with your structure elements,
If you're losing all your memory coz your allocator leaks
And your girl's getting nasty coz she's not seen you for weeks,
then stoke up Mark's debugger
you know it'll win,
coz it's the best debugger that there's ever been....
MP3 version available at:
Just One More Hack - Mark Wheadon, ca. 1991-1992.
> 24TB... thats almost enough to hold all my pr0n!
Orly Owl: Why, don't you know? He's twitterpated. Thumper: Twitterpated? Orly Owl: Yes. Nearly everybody gets twitterpated in the Thumper room. For example: You're walking along, minding your own business. You're looking neither to the left, nor to the right, when all of a sudden you run smack into a pretty rack holding 24 TBs of pretty racks! Woo-woo!
"The ministry of communication is duty-bound to make the use of the Internet impossible." - Taliban official, less than three weeks before 9/11.
Hey, be thankful that Congress doesn't exactly turn on a dime. We got to keep sending Internets to each other for another 5 years before they pulled the plug.
> Has anybody thought of the mice? Aren't we playing GOD with them? Shouldn't they have a right to live and roam free and not be subject to those humans obsessed with fertilizing them? Disgusting and definitely unethical.
Gee, Brain, I guess I wasn't pondering what you were pondering. I was pondering more along the lines of me and Pippi Longstocking. I mean, what would the children look like? NARF!
Jack Welch started at GE in 1960 as a junior engineer, worked his way up to CEO by 1981, and grew the business by $400 billion during his tenure from 1981-2001.
From his rebuttal:
> When has there ever been a divergence between shareholders and customers? No one is out saying, "Let's screw this customer today, and if we do, our share price might go up 20 cents." They're just not doing it.
25 years later, the secret of his success slips out: he has never owned a wireless phone.
Re:We have met the enemy and he is us!
on
Fun vs. Casual At EA
·
· Score: 1, Funny
> And if you don't make a fun game, you get fed to Albert the Alligator.
Yeah. Now Pitfall... there was a great example of a game that was both simple and fun! (Now what about the, umm... pogo stick that appeared in Pitfall: The Lost Expedition? It must work, because Edge of Reality hasn't been borged by EA yet:)
> For the one video linked, I'm amazed it didn't get slashdotted immediately.
If I could just download the copy of/right_forward_srb_camera.wmv being mirrored through (funky.dns.tricks.akamaistream.net), it would probably have stayed up longer.
But a certain DRM-infected media player doesn't welcome the SaveAs menu overlord. After all, how dare anyone think of downloading something (at whatever bitrate their client, or the overloaded server, might support) to your hard drive where you could play it back at your leisure, when you can just download the same content, asking the central server for permission over and over again, every time you wanted to see something?
Streaming video blows goats. The video's probably in the public domain. Put up a goddamn downloadable.MOV,.MPG, or yes, even a.WMV link. But enough of the streaming video, and don't even get me started on a site that requires a Javashit popup to load the goddamn.asx file that points to the streaming video in the first place. Web design ain't rocket science -- it's EASIER than rocket science. Last time I checked, there were a few folks at NASA who have the requisite skills, right?
To give credit to rocket scientists who do get it, check out how the JPL folks working on the Cassini mission handle videos. You know before you click, not just what format it's in, but how big it's gonna be, and you get to save everything to disk.
Earth to NASA: Dump the streaming video, at least for public domain content.
> Of course you meant "You = totalpu.ssy" or "You = total~1".
Nope. File metadata in extension. File description in name. Keep 'em separate!
TOTPUSSY.YOU or TOTALPUS.YOU
And now you can burn it to an ISO 9660 CD-R and be sure of getting the right filename, every time, even on ancient versions of SunOS/Solaris that refused to read Joliet! (Time heals all wounds. Slashdot threads on cross-platform file naming conventions reopen them.)
Slashdot Mirror
>
> One, this is completely inane.
>
> And two... it's caltrOps! And what would a bunch of tacks do to improve security anyway? I mean, sure, in a dungeon it'd work, but still...
And three, typos make the trapmaster cry.
You: Cool
Microsoft: Now just sheath your sword and look straight ahead...
You: Okay (starts walking)
Without warning, Microsoft stabs you from behind!
Microsoft massacres you with incredible force.
Microsoft massacres you with incredible force.
You are bleeding to death...
Or it could go this way...
Microsoft: Now just sheath your sword and look straight ahead...
... Oh my God he just ran in. [provides more capital]
Ballmer: Oh jeez, stick to the plan.
Penrose: [shoots self] Penrose down. Penrose down.
Gates: Oh man.
ValleyGirl: [shoots self] I'm down. Val down.
Baystar: RBC, rez us! RBC, rez us!
RoyalBank: RBC down, sorry Baystar. No more funding. RBC down.
Baystar: Oh God.
Yarro: Oh God.
You: Okay (starts walking)
Gates: Right. Stick to the plan.
Ballmer: Embrace, enbalm, extinguish.
Darl: All right chums, I'm back! Let's do this! LEEROOOOOOOY JEEENKIIIIIINSSS!!! [runs into you with a lawsuit]
You: WTF?
Gates: [incredulous]
You strike the Windows installation with a penguin. Microsoft is bleeding to death...
Gates: Why you do this shit Darl?
Ballmer: Darl, you are just stupid as hell.
SCO: 'Least I have chicken.
>
>You mean "6,000 years ago an all-powerful sky-wizard designed a miraculous flying beast and a mate for travel on Noah's Ark."
You mean "Noahs Aircraft Carrier" (which was itself merely the CV-1 "Gilgamesh" dug out of mothballs with a new set of flags :)
>
>You do understand that Backslash highlites user comments from a recent story, right?
Backslash: That Nagging Slashdot Dupe Queue
Posted by timothy on 12:03 PM -- Wednesday July 19 2006
from the failure-to-grok-backslash dept.
Dupe: Backslash: That Nagging Slashdot Dupe Queue
Posted by CmdrTaco on 12:03 PM -- Thursday July 20 2006
from the failure-to-check-for-backslash-dupes dept.
Backslash: Dupe: Backslash: That Nagging Slashdot Dupe Queue
Posted by CmdrTaco on 12:03 PM -- Friday July 21 2006
from the failure-to-grok-recursion dept.
Stacksmash: Backlash of Stack-Smashing Slashdotters Backslash Slashdot: Backslash: Dupe: Backslash: That Nagging Slashdot Dupe Que~``~1[][}
Posted by Fandango On Core on 3:15 AM -- Tuesday January 19 2038
from the failure-to-check-for-boun segmentation fault -- core dumped
From reality: It will require Vista. That's all Microsoft needs it to do.
As a matter of fact, Brain, I am pondering what you're pondering! Brilliant! We do the same thing we do every night, trying to take over EarthGov! The Corps is Mother, the Corps is Father, 'n' all that rot! NARF!
>
> But that's peanuts to space.
I mean you think there's a long list of entities in the markup for your CSS/AJAX/Web2.0 project's folksonomy, but that's just peanuts to the NIEM," and so on.
After a while, the spec settles down a bit and tells you things you really want to know, like the fact that the fabulously corrupt city of Washington D.C. is now so enamored of the cumulative fiscal erosion by ten billion visiting lobbyists a year that any net imbalance between the amount you donate and the amount you receive in federal contracts whilst on the take is surgically removed from your bank account when you leave: so every time you go to K Street, it is vitally important to get a receipt... and falsify it.
Zed: Bring out the Gimp.
Maynard: But the Gimp's not installed.
Zed: Well, I guess you're gonna have to go compile it, won't you?
(a few minutes later)
Marsellus: What now? Well let me tell you what now. I'm gonna call a couple layer-usin' designers, who'll go to work on the source image here with a pair of plugins and a tit-bit.
(Not to put a downer on your funny post but...)
(Of course, just as in Oakland... we get bored of seeing a bunch of dead people every night on the news, and we get bored of seeing the latest exploit, and once the cops - and the vendors - figure out that after a certain point, we stop giving a shit, nothing gets done :)
Storyline is what disturbs. Let's get back to telling real stories.
Such as Infocom's Trinity (about time travel and nuclear war), and A Mind Forever Voyaging: Starts off with the mildly disturbing premise of what it's like to be a "brain in a vat, experiencing a computer simulation". Continues with the extremely disturbing unfolding of what happens when (because reality's just a computer simulation), the simulation extrapolates social/political consequences of what happens when one plugs in a certain Senator's "plan" to save the economy... and what happens to the brain in the vat when it starts to learn things about the "plan" that the dear Senator might not like.
AMFV was probably the most disturbing interactive fiction title that Infocom ever released. (Because we're arguably still playing it - you and me reading this - today.)
hotpoint14: I take off your pants, slowly, and gently massage them in my soapy warmth.
maytagman: Oh I like that baby, after pretreating with detergent, I put in my robe and wizard hat.
hotpoint14: What the f*ck, I told you not to message me again.
maytagman: Oh **** damn I gotta write down your names or something
Now that we've established the ground rules, is Richard Stallman's beard going to have to choke a bitch?
Thanks, Alan. Gamers everywhere are in your debt.
>
>Well, that post up there was a strange one. Those of us down here salute you.
That's a strong response, I'd say it's on top. This one is weak by comparison. It wouldn't hit the bottom end of a barn. (The broad sides of the barn of course, having been open to permit the the large rod to pass through it. Honest honey, it's bigger when it's not moving!)
Quirky? That's strange. If only you'd written it as "quarky", it would have been a truly beautiful and charming joke.
Yet more evidence that the universe is just a gigantic computer simulation.
Old programmer's adage: Variables won't. Constants aren't.
Build a better moustrap, and only the Neophilic mice will beat a path to your door.
Filk is a long-standing Hackish tradition, and Nerdcore is merely its latest incarnation.
But since you asked, how about blues?
Just One More Hack, and then the author of the UPS debugger will put it on the 'net...
MP3 version available at: Just One More Hack - Mark Wheadon, ca. 1991-1992.Orly Owl: Why, don't you know? He's twitterpated.
Thumper: Twitterpated?
Orly Owl: Yes. Nearly everybody gets twitterpated in the Thumper room. For example: You're walking along, minding your own business. You're looking neither to the left, nor to the right, when all of a sudden you run smack into a pretty rack holding 24 TBs of pretty racks! Woo-woo!
But they also hate us for our Internets.
"The ministry of communication is duty-bound to make the use of the Internet impossible."
- Taliban official, less than three weeks before 9/11.
Hey, be thankful that Congress doesn't exactly turn on a dime. We got to keep sending Internets to each other for another 5 years before they pulled the plug.
Gee, Brain, I guess I wasn't pondering what you were pondering. I was pondering more along the lines of me and Pippi Longstocking. I mean, what would the children look like? NARF!
From his rebuttal:
> When has there ever been a divergence between shareholders and customers? No one is out saying, "Let's screw this customer today, and if we do, our share price might go up 20 cents." They're just not doing it.
25 years later, the secret of his success slips out: he has never owned a wireless phone.
Yeah. Now Pitfall... there was a great example of a game that was both simple and fun! (Now what about the, umm... pogo stick that appeared in Pitfall: The Lost Expedition? It must work, because Edge of Reality hasn't been borged by EA yet :)
If I could just download the copy of /right_forward_srb_camera.wmv being mirrored through (funky.dns.tricks.akamaistream.net), it would probably have stayed up longer.
But a certain DRM-infected media player doesn't welcome the SaveAs menu overlord. After all, how dare anyone think of downloading something (at whatever bitrate their client, or the overloaded server, might support) to your hard drive where you could play it back at your leisure, when you can just download the same content, asking the central server for permission over and over again, every time you wanted to see something?
Streaming video blows goats. The video's probably in the public domain. Put up a goddamn downloadable .MOV, .MPG, or yes, even a .WMV link. But enough of the streaming video, and don't even get me started on a site that requires a Javashit popup to load the goddamn .asx file that points to the streaming video in the first place. Web design ain't rocket science -- it's EASIER than rocket science. Last time I checked, there were a few folks at NASA who have the requisite skills, right?
To give credit to rocket scientists who do get it, check out how the JPL folks working on the Cassini mission handle videos. You know before you click, not just what format it's in, but how big it's gonna be, and you get to save everything to disk.
Earth to NASA: Dump the streaming video, at least for public domain content.
Nope. File metadata in extension. File description in name. Keep 'em separate!
TOTPUSSY.YOU or TOTALPUS.YOU
And now you can burn it to an ISO 9660 CD-R and be sure of getting the right filename, every time, even on ancient versions of SunOS/Solaris that refused to read Joliet! (Time heals all wounds. Slashdot threads on cross-platform file naming conventions reopen them.)