Quit reading slashdot. It's saturday. Ever wonder why the ladies aren't exactly flocking to you? It's because you're the kind of guy that posts to slashdot on saturday.
Why not hop up off your fat, sweaty ass and see what's going on outdoors? Go to a bar or something. Meet women. Live a little, you fucking loser.
since you got first post, i am very interested in meeting you for some buttsex. would you be interested? what i'm looking for is a give and take kind of deal, You buttsex me, then i buttsex you. how about it?
if you want to get together for some hot buttsex, reply to this post
I think most first posts can be compared to skipping every question on a test just to hand it in before everyone else.
I did just that with my SATs. I filled in my name, ran up to the front of the classroom, slapped down the test and screamed "First Test mothafuckas! w00t!"
Of course, now I live in my parent's basement while attending community college. In just six short years I'll have my AA in computer science.
I don't mean to pick nits, but it isn't their hard drive that's having the problem. Their upstream provider is throttling the traffic so that the rest of it's customers can keep on trucking. So, your post would have been that much funnier had you changed "hard drive" to "network throughput".
If you were just going for karma with that, more power to you.
And now, on with the troll:
Lou: You know I went to the McDonald's in Shelbyville on friday night.
Wiggum: The McWhat?
Lou: McDonald's restaurant. I never heard of it, either, but they have over two thousand locations in this state alone.
Eddie: Must've sprung up overnight.
Lou: You know the funniest thing, though? It's the little differences.
Wiggum: Example?
Lou: Well, at McDonald's you can buy a Krusty Burger with Cheese, right, but they don't call it a Krusty Burger with Cheese.
Wiggum: Get out! Well, what do they call it?
Lou: A Quarter Pounder with Cheese.
Wiggum: Quarter Pounder with Cheese? Well, I can picture the cheese, but, uh, do they have Krusty Partially Gelatinated Non-Dairy Gum Based Beverages?
Lou: Mmm hmm, they call em shakes.
Eddie: Hmph, shakes. You don't know what you're getting.
Wiggum: Well, I know what I'm getting. Some donuts. Help me out of the booth, boys.
Thank you, kind sir, for your hilarious comments. It's clever and timely posts such as yours that keep me coming back to slashdot. You are truly your brother's keeper, my good man.
And now, on with the troll:
ATTENTION ALL NEGROES
Please leave the country immediately, you are no longer welcome here. Please take the beaners and chinks with you.
Thank you.
[ and now, the ebonics version ]
Yall bes be steppin les you wan ussa poppa cap in yo black ass. Get up on outtahea an bring dem messicans and china mans wichall muthafuckas.
You suck. If you live in the United States, it's saturday afternoon, it's a beautiful day outside, and you're posting to slashdot. Go down to Wal-Mart and get yourself a life.
So this one time I was really bored and I ate a whole family sized* box of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese** all in one sitting. I was pretty full for a while.
* not like, the size of a family, but like, enough for a family ** Kraft Dinner to all you Canucks out there
I've got one account that's "Good", one "Bad". I have one that's probably "Excellent", but I haven't used it in a long time and can't remember the password.
Doesn't it seem kind of silly that Karma is still distributed (or, in my case, taken away) numerically, but is now represented non-numerically?
To the mod: Yeah, go ahead and offtopic it, you humourless fuck.
Slashdot Mirror
It's not officially sunday until I get out of bed.
Quit reading slashdot. It's saturday. Ever wonder why the ladies aren't exactly flocking to you? It's because you're the kind of guy that posts to slashdot on saturday.
Why not hop up off your fat, sweaty ass and see what's going on outdoors? Go to a bar or something. Meet women. Live a little, you fucking loser.
Yup.
You fucking rock!
Anyone who posts after this post is a fag.
But you knew that already.
hi
since you got first post, i am very interested in meeting you for some buttsex. would you be interested? what i'm looking for is a give and take kind of deal, You buttsex me, then i buttsex you. how about it?
if you want to get together for some hot buttsex, reply to this post
I'm quitting slashdot. I'm quitting everything.
I'm going on a heroin binge next week, and it will most likely kill me.
So long.
I think most first posts can be compared to skipping every question on a test just to hand it in before everyone else.
I did just that with my SATs. I filled in my name, ran up to the front of the classroom, slapped down the test and screamed "First Test mothafuckas! w00t!"
Of course, now I live in my parent's basement while attending community college. In just six short years I'll have my AA in computer science.
It was worth it, though.
Your newsletter is intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your ideas.
Now that I've only got two posts a day, I feel like I should make them count. Like I should crapflood or something, just to leave my mark.
If you ask me (and no one does), slashdot just isn't any fun anymore. I don't know what else to do.
I'm glad trollaxor.com is dead. That was just fucking pitiful.
As always, eat more cock!
I was just scracthing my nuts. It's been a hot day, so it's pretty dank down there.
My fingers smell great now.
Is it sick to dig the smell of my own sweaty balls?
I want to go back to a world when you could smack the shit out of your kid for listening to that shit.
The better question may be: what the fuck is rob going to do when he's out of a job? I mean, does he actually have any skills?
You are teh ghey.
You can take away my karma, but you'll never take my freedom!
Or maybe you will.
I was waiting for some moron to come along and make a moronic Microsoft joke. You've even got the dollar sign and everything.
I don't mean to pick nits, but it isn't their hard drive that's having the problem. Their upstream provider is throttling the traffic so that the rest of it's customers can keep on trucking. So, your post would have been that much funnier had you changed "hard drive" to "network throughput".
If you were just going for karma with that, more power to you.
And now, on with the troll:
Lou: You know I went to the McDonald's in Shelbyville on friday night.
Wiggum: The McWhat?
Lou: McDonald's restaurant. I never heard of it, either, but they have over two thousand locations in this state alone.
Eddie: Must've sprung up overnight.
Lou: You know the funniest thing, though? It's the little differences.
Wiggum: Example?
Lou: Well, at McDonald's you can buy a Krusty Burger with Cheese, right, but they don't call it a Krusty Burger with Cheese.
Wiggum: Get out! Well, what do they call it?
Lou: A Quarter Pounder with Cheese.
Wiggum: Quarter Pounder with Cheese? Well, I can picture the cheese, but, uh, do they have Krusty Partially Gelatinated Non-Dairy Gum Based Beverages?
Lou: Mmm hmm, they call em shakes.
Eddie: Hmph, shakes. You don't know what you're getting.
Wiggum: Well, I know what I'm getting. Some donuts. Help me out of the booth, boys.
Thank you, kind sir, for your hilarious comments. It's clever and timely posts such as yours that keep me coming back to slashdot. You are truly your brother's keeper, my good man.
And now, on with the troll:
ATTENTION ALL NEGROES
Please leave the country immediately, you are no longer welcome here. Please take the beaners and chinks with you.
Thank you.
[ and now, the ebonics version ]
Yall bes be steppin les you wan ussa poppa cap in yo black ass. Get up on outtahea an bring dem messicans and china mans wichall muthafuckas.
Word.
My original post was intended to be ironic, a concept that you appear to be unfamiliar with.
The fact that you're still taking my bait doesn't say much for your intelligence.
I thank you for letting me know how incredibly stupid I am. You're a real pal.
YHBT, YHL, HAND
--
SweetAndSourJesus
You suck. If you live in the United States, it's saturday afternoon, it's a beautiful day outside, and you're posting to slashdot. Go down to Wal-Mart and get yourself a life.
Jamie, if I bought you a hat with a downwards arrow and the words "blow load here" printed on it, would you wear it for publicity photos?
Pretty sad when your little server gets slashdotted and falls over in 20 seconds, too.
You are teh suxor.
this early post is for hamburgers, because I'm about to go get one.
So this one time I was really bored and I ate a whole family sized* box of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese** all in one sitting. I was pretty full for a while.
* not like, the size of a family, but like, enough for a family
** Kraft Dinner to all you Canucks out there
It's GNU/linux.
Or lunix.
also known as "now where did I put that FreeBSD cd?"
go jesus!
fuck slashdot!
The moderation system didn't work...let's try outright censorship!
Amon Tobin - Golfer vrs. Boxer
<instrumental>
I've got one account that's "Good", one "Bad". I have one that's probably "Excellent", but I haven't used it in a long time and can't remember the password.
Doesn't it seem kind of silly that Karma is still distributed (or, in my case, taken away) numerically, but is now represented non-numerically?
To the mod:
Yeah, go ahead and offtopic it, you humourless fuck.