"choice" ? between pc-os and pc-os ? stfu, you're as relevant on slashdot that your people are in Iraq. I hope you choke on a pretzel ands die of suffocation.
The slashdot store was selling them for five cents a piece. I thought that odd since they were normally a couple thousand each. I decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth. I bought 200. I like nerds.
I took my 200 nerds home. I have a big car. I let one drive. His name was Taco. He was retarded. In fact, none of them were really bright. They kept punching themselves in their genitals. I laughed. Then they punched my genitals. I stopped laughing.
I herded them into my room. They didn't adapt very well to their new environment. They would screech, hurl themselves off of the couch at high speeds and slam into the wall. Although humorous at first, the spectacle lost its novelty halfway into its third hour.
Two hours later I found out why all the nerds were so inexpensive: they all died. No apparent reason. They all just sorta' dropped dead. Kinda' like when you buy a goldfish and it dies five hours later. Damn cheap nerds.
I didn't know what to do. There were 200 dead nerds lying all over my room, on the bed, in the dresser, hanging from my bookcase. It looked like I had 200 throw rugs.
I tried to flush one down the toilet. It didn't work. It got stuck. Then I had one dead, wet nerd and 199 dead, dry nerds.
I tried pretending that they were just stuffed animals. That worked for a while, that is until they began to decompose. It started to smell real bad.
I had to pee but there was a dead nerd in the toilet and I didn't want to call the plumber. I was embarrassed.
I tried to slow down the decomposition by freezing them. Unfortunately there was only enough room for two nerds at a time so I had to change them every 30 seconds. I also had to eat all the food in the freezer so it didn't all go bad.
I tried burning them. Little did I know my bed was flammable. I had to extinguish the fire.
Then I had one dead, wet nerd in my toilet, two dead, frozen nerds in my freezer, and 197 dead, charred nerds in a pile on my bed. The odor wasn't improving.
I became agitated at my inability to dispose of my nerds and to use the bathroom. I severely beat one of my nerds. I felt better.
I tried throwing them way but the garbage man said that the city wasn't allowed to dispose of charred geeks. I told him that I had a wet one. He couldn't take that one either. I didn't bother asking about the frozen ones.
I finally arrived at a solution. I gave them out as Christmas gifts. My friends didn't know quite what to say. They pretended that they like them but I could tell they were lying. Ingrates. So I punched them in the genitals.
The worst terrorist attack in recorded history occurred five years ago, followed by a Holy War against Islam, and now Israel and the Palestinians as well as India and Pakistan are teetering on the brink of their own war, Argentina is in the midst of a financial crisis, America is considering launching attacks against Somalia and Iran, and you people have the gall to be mourning???? My *god*, people, GET SOME PRIORITIES!
The bodies of the thousands of innocent civilians who died (and will die) in these unprecedented events could give a good god damn about mourning, your childish Lego models, your nerf toy guns and whining about the lack of a "fun" workplace, your Everquest/Diablo/D&D fixation, the latest Cowboy Bebop rerun, or any of the other ways you are "getting on with your life" (here's a hint: watching Cowboy Bebop in your jammies and eating a bowl of Shreddies is *not* "getting on with your life"). The souls of the victims are watching in horror as you people squander your finite, precious time on this earth playing video games!
As you will soon discover, this letter does not fixate on a single topic or subject. To be perfectly frank and honest, it started out rather focused but I soon found, as I worked on my primary hypothesis and sought corroboration from other sources, that I have quite a number of different things to say about teh US-ians. With this letter, I hope to make technical preparations for the achievement of freedom and human independence. But first, I would like to make the following introductory remark: Teh US-ians never stops boasting about its generous contributions to charitable causes. As far as I can tell, however, its claimed magnanimousness is utterly chimerical and, furthermore, if teh US-ians bites me, I will bite back. I'm not very conversant with teh US-ians's background. To be quite frank, I don't care to be. I already know enough to state with confidence that the unalterable law of biology has a corollary that is generally overlooked. Specifically, teh US-ians keeps telling us that everyone with a different set of beliefs from its is going to get a one-way ticket to Hell. Are we also supposed to believe that it commands an army of robots that live in the hollow center of the earth and produce earthquakes whenever they feel like shaking things up a bit on the surface? I didn't think so.
Teh US-ians complains a lot. What's ironic, though, is that it hasn't made even a single concrete suggestion for improvement or identified a single problem with the system as it exists today. Without a doubt, however, what I have been writing up to this point is not what I initially intended to write in this letter. Instead, I decided it would be far more productive to tell you that teh US-ians sees itself as a postmodern equivalent of Marx's proletariat, revolutionizing the world by wresting it from its oppressors (viz., those who develop an alternative community, a cohesive and comprehensive underground with a charter to stop its encroachments on our heritage). What do you think of this: Crazy ideologues must be treated with political justice, not with civil justice, as they are undeniably not real citizens? All in all, if we contradict teh US-ians, we are labelled benighted slumlords. If we capitulate, however, we forfeit our freedoms. Teh US-ians wants to toss quaint concepts like decency, fairness, and rational debate out the window. It gets better: It believes that all minorities are poor, stupid ghetto trash. I guess no one's ever told it that I deeply believe that it's within our grasp to develop a rational-empirical base for dialogue about its analects. Be grateful for this first and last tidbit of comforting news. The rest of this letter will center around the way that I am not up on the latest gossip. Still, I have heard people say that teh US-ians is doing more harm than good to its cause. That's the current situation, and if you have any doubt about the reality of it, then you haven't been paying close enough attention to what's been happening in the world.
Teh US-ians's shallow dream is starting to come true. Liberties are being killed by attrition. Fogyism is being installed by accretion. The only way that we can reverse these savage trends is to follow through on the critical work that has already begun. To be precise, it is always prating about how priggism is the only alternative to plagiarism. (It used to say that it has been robbed of all it does not possess, but the evidence is too contrary, so it's given up on that score.) There is one crucial fact that we must not overlook if we are to perceive our current situation as it is, rather than in the anamorphosis of some "ideology" such as vandalism or pessimism. Specifically, if I have a bias, it is only against slimy, reprehensible numskulls who separate people from their roots and cut their bonds to their natural communities. That's it for this letter. I hope that typing it was not a complete waste of energy. Unfortunately, I do realize that my words will probably trigger no useful response in the flabby synapses of teh US-ians's brain. I just felt obligated to go through the motions because teh US-ians should get with the program.
I just heard some sad news on teh radio - Horror/Sci Fi singer Kurt Cowbain was found dead in his trailer this morning. There weren't any more details. I'm sure everyone in teh Slashdot community will miss him - even if you didn't enjoy his work, tehre's no denying his contributions to popular culture. Truly a gwunge icon.
Slashdot Mirror
I'm in charge of adaptating this into a movie and, because I don't exactly know how it feel not to get pussy, I am looking for some short-dicked nerds testimony. The ideal candidate should have the following experience:
So if you want to feel (not "be") famous, just tell me about your lonely sexual life or your new graphic adapter.
ps this is not offtopic: I love halo... not !
Zlashtod mods are evil, but zey're stupid too!
get a friggin' like or you'll end up a virgin in your mom's basement...
wait... you already are there...
When Slashdot refers to "Beauty", it has to be about something that's nerdy, i.e. totally ugly.
What about sending Bush, Blair, Olmer, Rice and the rest of those bastards ?
fuck you who read this.
Today, I'll just ask you to bend down... unlubricated, I have much profanation to perform to your virgin asses.
"choice" ?
between pc-os and pc-os ?
stfu, you're as relevant on slashdot that your people are in Iraq.
I hope you choke on a pretzel ands die of suffocation.
Which mean you're guilty if you don't repetitively pay for shite.
God fuxxorz the us and a !
I vote for Bush, so that I'll be both the first and the only one! Pollute !
Sounds like a pleonasm!
No.
The slashdot store was selling them for five cents a piece. I thought that
odd since they were normally a couple thousand each. I decided not to
look a gift horse in the mouth. I bought 200. I like nerds.
I took my 200 nerds home. I have a big car. I let one drive. His
name was Taco. He was retarded. In fact, none of them were really
bright. They kept punching themselves in their genitals. I laughed.
Then they punched my genitals. I stopped laughing.
I herded them into my room. They didn't adapt very well to their new
environment. They would screech, hurl themselves off of the couch at
high speeds and slam into the wall. Although humorous at first, the
spectacle lost its novelty halfway into its third hour.
Two hours later I found out why all the nerds were so inexpensive:
they all died. No apparent reason. They all just sorta' dropped dead.
Kinda' like when you buy a goldfish and it dies five hours later. Damn
cheap nerds.
I didn't know what to do. There were 200 dead nerds lying all over my
room, on the bed, in the dresser, hanging from my bookcase. It looked
like I had 200 throw rugs.
I tried to flush one down the toilet. It didn't work. It got stuck.
Then I had one dead, wet nerd and 199 dead, dry nerds.
I tried pretending that they were just stuffed animals. That worked for
a while, that is until they began to decompose. It started to smell real
bad.
I had to pee but there was a dead nerd in the toilet and I didn't want
to call the plumber. I was embarrassed.
I tried to slow down the decomposition by freezing them. Unfortunately
there was only enough room for two nerds at a time so I had to change
them every 30 seconds. I also had to eat all the food in the freezer so
it didn't all go bad.
I tried burning them. Little did I know my bed was flammable. I had to
extinguish the fire.
Then I had one dead, wet nerd in my toilet, two dead, frozen nerds in
my freezer, and 197 dead, charred nerds in a pile on my bed. The odor
wasn't improving.
I became agitated at my inability to dispose of my nerds and to use the
bathroom. I severely beat one of my nerds. I felt better.
I tried throwing them way but the garbage man said that the city wasn't
allowed to dispose of charred geeks. I told him that I had a wet
one. He couldn't take that one either. I didn't bother asking about the
frozen ones.
I finally arrived at a solution. I gave them out as Christmas gifts. My
friends didn't know quite what to say. They pretended that they like
them but I could tell they were lying. Ingrates. So I punched them in
the genitals.
I like nerds.
The worst terrorist attack in recorded history occurred five years ago, followed by a Holy War against Islam, and now Israel and the Palestinians as well as India and Pakistan are teetering on the brink of their own war, Argentina is in the midst of a financial crisis, America is considering launching attacks against Somalia and Iran, and you people have the gall to be mourning???? My *god*, people, GET SOME PRIORITIES!
The bodies of the thousands of innocent civilians who died (and will die) in these unprecedented events could give a good god damn about mourning, your childish Lego models, your nerf toy guns and whining about the lack of a "fun" workplace, your Everquest/Diablo/D&D fixation, the latest Cowboy Bebop rerun, or any of the other ways you are "getting on with your life" (here's a hint: watching Cowboy Bebop in your jammies and eating a bowl of Shreddies is *not* "getting on with your life"). The souls of the victims are watching in horror as you people squander your finite, precious time on this earth playing video games!
"Taco's penis" is indeed a concept.
You lost in Iraq, you are broke and we all hate you ! happy birthday, 911 ! :-D
Don't watch TV, it's making you even stupider.
What about demonstrating against Bush Middle East politics ?
Fuckers !
We don't want his commercial stuff !
POTEMKINE !
I'm sure I read about it on Digg yesterday. I'd rather read about the Lebenase and how teh USians are fucking them out of their place.
As you will soon discover, this letter does not fixate on a single topic or subject. To be perfectly frank and honest, it started out rather focused but I soon found, as I worked on my primary hypothesis and sought corroboration from other sources, that I have quite a number of different things to say about teh US-ians. With this letter, I hope to make technical preparations for the achievement of freedom and human independence. But first, I would like to make the following introductory remark: Teh US-ians never stops boasting about its generous contributions to charitable causes. As far as I can tell, however, its claimed magnanimousness is utterly chimerical and, furthermore, if teh US-ians bites me, I will bite back. I'm not very conversant with teh US-ians's background. To be quite frank, I don't care to be. I already know enough to state with confidence that the unalterable law of biology has a corollary that is generally overlooked. Specifically, teh US-ians keeps telling us that everyone with a different set of beliefs from its is going to get a one-way ticket to Hell. Are we also supposed to believe that it commands an army of robots that live in the hollow center of the earth and produce earthquakes whenever they feel like shaking things up a bit on the surface? I didn't think so.
Teh US-ians complains a lot. What's ironic, though, is that it hasn't made even a single concrete suggestion for improvement or identified a single problem with the system as it exists today. Without a doubt, however, what I have been writing up to this point is not what I initially intended to write in this letter. Instead, I decided it would be far more productive to tell you that teh US-ians sees itself as a postmodern equivalent of Marx's proletariat, revolutionizing the world by wresting it from its oppressors (viz., those who develop an alternative community, a cohesive and comprehensive underground with a charter to stop its encroachments on our heritage). What do you think of this: Crazy ideologues must be treated with political justice, not with civil justice, as they are undeniably not real citizens? All in all, if we contradict teh US-ians, we are labelled benighted slumlords. If we capitulate, however, we forfeit our freedoms. Teh US-ians wants to toss quaint concepts like decency, fairness, and rational debate out the window. It gets better: It believes that all minorities are poor, stupid ghetto trash. I guess no one's ever told it that I deeply believe that it's within our grasp to develop a rational-empirical base for dialogue about its analects. Be grateful for this first and last tidbit of comforting news. The rest of this letter will center around the way that I am not up on the latest gossip. Still, I have heard people say that teh US-ians is doing more harm than good to its cause. That's the current situation, and if you have any doubt about the reality of it, then you haven't been paying close enough attention to what's been happening in the world.
Teh US-ians's shallow dream is starting to come true. Liberties are being killed by attrition. Fogyism is being installed by accretion. The only way that we can reverse these savage trends is to follow through on the critical work that has already begun. To be precise, it is always prating about how priggism is the only alternative to plagiarism. (It used to say that it has been robbed of all it does not possess, but the evidence is too contrary, so it's given up on that score.) There is one crucial fact that we must not overlook if we are to perceive our current situation as it is, rather than in the anamorphosis of some "ideology" such as vandalism or pessimism. Specifically, if I have a bias, it is only against slimy, reprehensible numskulls who separate people from their roots and cut their bonds to their natural communities. That's it for this letter. I hope that typing it was not a complete waste of energy. Unfortunately, I do realize that my words will probably trigger no useful response in the flabby synapses of teh US-ians's brain. I just felt obligated to go through the motions because teh US-ians should get with the program.
I just heard some sad news on teh radio - Horror/Sci Fi singer Kurt Cowbain was found dead in his trailer this morning. There weren't any more details. I'm sure everyone in teh Slashdot community will miss him - even if you didn't enjoy his work, tehre's no denying his contributions to popular culture. Truly a gwunge icon.
At least some US-ians begin to talk sense... but how long before virtue league cancel this ruling for the sake of their obese corn fed childs ?
submitter links to his own interview...
buy an ad !
no digg.
and you're not even sorry about this...
try to publish NEWS, next time !