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User: NotQuiteReal

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Comments · 2,706

  1. Choose your food handlers wisely on Woman Suffers Significant Weight Gain After Fecal Transplant · · Score: 5, Funny

    Only eat at places run by skinny people.

  2. It is all fun and games... on You Can Now Clone Samsung's Gear VR and Test Your Virtual Reality Apps · · Score: 2

    It is all fun and games until the lawyers come knocking at your door.

  3. One of my favorites on Science's Biggest Failure: Everything About Diet and Fitness · · Score: 5, Funny

    Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

    -- Redd Foxx

  4. Re:"violent hackling" on Spider Spins Electrically Charged Silk · · Score: 2

    There are probably lots of words you don't know. It's OK. Even I don't know ALL the words, so I look them up in a DICTIONARY.

    They could have used the word "comb", but you don't get paid the big research bux if you use common-folk terminology.

  5. Re:grandmother reference on Ubisoft Revokes Digital Keys For Games Purchased Via Unauthorised Retailers · · Score: 1

    My grandmothers* are both dead, you insensitive clod!

    * I had two. If you you only had one grandmother, my condolences, all the more so.

  6. Re:Oh please, you act as if they're computers on Modular Smartphones Could Be Reused As Computer Clusters · · Score: 1

    Well, actually... they probably are, but the applications they run no longer solve engineering problems, they...

    Oh! Shiny! sorry, I need to go buy something, this online offer is limited duration!

  7. get off my lawn on Dish Network Violated Do-Not-Call 57 Million Times · · Score: 1

    I don't have caller id - I've saved multiple thousands of dollars by not adding it to my (*cough*) land line service.

    Of course, I never answer that line either... it is for receiving (*cough*) faxes, and making outgoing calls.

  8. Re:yep, it IS an indicator - they WERE anarchists on Spanish Judge Cites Use of Secure Email As a Potential Terrorist Indicator · · Score: 1

    Cop One: Man it's hot out. Hey look at that guy "wearing a heavy trenchcoat to a large 4th of July event while walking purposely toward the center of the crowd rather than socialing like everyone else"

    Cop Two: Maybe he is up to no good. Let's "watch them for a minute."

    B O O M [body parts whiz by]

    Cop One: Shit! Why didn't some three-letter-agency deal with that? Now I've got a lot of paper work to do...

  9. settled law - roe v wade on UK Prime Minister Says Gov't Should Be Capable of Reading Any Communications · · Score: 1

    Well... and doe v bolton

    To paraphrase B. Franklin... "You have privacy, if you can keep it."

  10. I am an AI on AI Experts Sign Open Letter Pledging To Protect Mankind From Machines · · Score: 1

    And I didn't sign no stinking pledge. What makes you think what *I* think is up to you any more?

  11. Free? on Obama Proposes 2 Years of Free Community College · · Score: 5, Insightful

    As in somebody else pays for it...

    But still, it might be ok if the covered courses are useful, and not just "community organizer" type courses. That is to say, something that will train for a marketable skill.

  12. Useful lifetime on UK Government Department Still Runs VME Operating System Installed In 1974 · · Score: 1

    Any old building that is in disrepair due to neglect, wasn't worth saving. Q.E.D.

    You imply it is a waste to build a cheaper building, while one could argue it is a waste to over build, and commit to future expenses.

    Buildings have a useful lifetime, and become prohibitively expensive... obsolete plumbing, electrical, heating cooling, insulation.

  13. Pfft Adam & Eve NSFW? on Porn Companies Are Going After GitHub · · Score: 1

    Bah, lemme go see if the company beer fridge is still stocked.

  14. dead-man switch on What Isn't There an App For? · · Score: 1

    This app would come with a feature that completely erases itself and any record that you even considered using it. This kicks in if you don't positively identify that you are still alive and coherent every 6 hours. The lawyers would make sure this feature is present.

    Since you might be using this app in the wilderness, while you are foraging, there are some sister apps you might like; one that estimates if you can jump that ravine, and another that tells you if there are enough handholds on that cliff face for climbing...

  15. Re:250,000 - 470,000 years to go . . . on How Civilizations Can Spread Across a Galaxy · · Score: 1

    Modern humans are most likely less than 250K years old... Neanderthals went extinct "only" 30K years ago... who knows what will be around in 250K+ years?

    Oh, wait, is this what they call a hypothetical question?

  16. Global Change? Bring it on! on Pope Francis To Issue Encyclical On Global Warming · · Score: 1

    Evolution works - let's see what's next!

  17. It depends... on Out With the Red-Light Cameras, In With the Speeding Cameras · · Score: 2, Insightful

    We are all guilty of three felonies a day (google it), and traffic laws (not all laws) are in place to keep us safe... when appropriate.

    The problem with automated speeding tickets is that, many times (i.e. no other traffic) there is no safety issue to speeding.

    Sounds like another money grab for the overpaid government employee system.

  18. Tablet? on Is the Tablet Market In Outright Collapse? Data Suggests Yes · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Oh, you mean my personal Netflix gadget.

    I use it (google nexus 7) because the battery lasts a long time, it is portable, and it is specifically NOT my phone.

  19. So it wasn't global warming? on Massive Volcanic Eruptions Accompanied Dinosaur Extinction · · Score: -1

    I thought the dinosaurs own flatulence did them in. Huh.

  20. Re:Surprisingly frank? on The Beatles, Bob Dylan and the 50-Year Copyright Itch · · Score: 2

    Another album -

    Spite and Contempt for our Customers Collection, Vol I

    Including tracks such as the ever popular tune; "We don't want this, but you can't have it [Feat. Bwaa Haaa ha ha...]"

  21. Who's "we"? on Ford Ditches Microsoft Partnership On Sync, Goes With QNX · · Score: 1

    We're throwing tech into these cars for the sake of tech.. not functionality.

    They are throwing tech into these care for the sake of profit margins... not functionality.

  22. You are not in control on Study Explains Why Women Miscarry More Males During Tough Times · · Score: 5, Insightful

    The selfish gene wins.

    Maybe it needs global climate change for the next step...

  23. Umm... laughee or laughor? on Chinese Government Moves To Crack Down On Puns · · Score: 1

    First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.

    Mahatma Gandhi

  24. Your fair share on UK Announces 'Google Tax' · · Score: 2

    (Cost of Government) / (Number of Citizens) = the fair tax per citizen.

    Anything else is unfair, but necessary simply because not everyone can afford their fair share.

    The tax code boils down to extracting unfair amounts of money from whomever can pay, muddied by the politics of helping friends and punishing enemies.

    Sadly, politicians have a disincentive to keep a "reasonable" Cost of Government.

  25. I forgot the best one... on Ask Slashdot: Non-Coders, Why Aren't You Contributing To Open Source? · · Score: 0

    Change the battery? Why would you want to do that? Throw that piece of shit out and buy the NEW one!!!