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User: HarveyBirdman

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Comments · 1,390

  1. Subjective on Congress To Force Cable a la Carte Plans · · Score: 1

    And when TechTV survives and Sci-Fi goes away, what tune will you be singing then?

  2. Do this for DirecTV on Congress To Force Cable a la Carte Plans · · Score: 4, Interesting

    I'd like to see it set up so I can pick and choose each and every channel, preferably via an onscreen check list at the set top box. And if there's something I want to see on a channel I don't normally have, I can order it just for that program right at the box.

  3. Why? on Bush Says Americans 'Ought to Have' Broadband and a Pony by 2007 · · Score: 3, Insightful
    I'm not a Republican, but how come no one ever asks "how much" when Democrats proposed essentually the same thing?

    Politics blows. I really wish we could evolve beyond it, but some structure (read: flaw) in the human mind just won't allow it.

    Damn these simian brains!

  4. As long as we're worrying about this on Mars Terraforming Debate · · Score: 0, Offtopic

    Quick! The sun may bloat up and destroy us in a couple billion years! Somebody do something!

  5. Gawrsh! on Microdrone Spy Planes · · Score: 1

    Where do they done get the little folks to pilot them there things?

  6. Re:Blessed are the Slashdotters on Always Look on the Bright Side of Life · · Score: 1

    Yes, but it's not gratuitous, which was my point. The swearing and nudity served fairly precise comic purposes, as opposed to the "ambient vulgarity" of most Hollyfare.

  7. Re:Dance! Dance! Dance, little monkey! on Ballmer On Microsoft's Search Goofs · · Score: 1
    Damn. That was the funniest thing I've read in weeks...

    And others found it overrated. Ah, well... I have enemies.

  8. New product on iPod Mini Worldwide Rollout Delayed · · Score: 1
    "We're going to replace the iPod mini with the iCapsule," said Steve Jobs at a press conference held on the Lower Dimension Of Darkness & Suffering. "You swallow it, and time released music is dissolved directly into your brain."

    "Is that not dangerous?" asked Scar Steelclaw from the Mordor Daily Examiner.

    "Yeah, sweet, sweet music unspools right into the cerbral cortex, or somewhere." said Jobs. "Now everyone can share in the reality distortion field, sort of a distorted collective unconsciousness."

    "What sort of music?" asked Millie Bumblestoat from the Happy Elf Land newsletter.

    "I just took an iCapsule 30 minutes ago," said Jobs.

    "Hello?!" said Millie.

    "All I hear is a relaxing hum," sighed Jobs before passing out.

  9. Dance! Dance! Dance, little monkey! on Ballmer On Microsoft's Search Goofs · · Score: 1, Funny
    "No, I will not be doing the monkey dance," shouted a sweaty, possibly flatulent Ballmer at a press conference held behind a Denny's in Seattle. "I am here to talk about Microsoft ads on search engines."

    "Why is this so important?" asked Peaches Kobbler, reporterette for High Times magazine.

    "Visibility," said the phlegmy chief executive. "There might yet be tribal elders hidden in some lost corner of the South American jungle who has not yet heard of Microsoft. We need to subver- er, we need to reach those valued potential customers."

    "Do jungles have corners?" asked Alia Bambara, reporter for the Pony Fetish Monthly.

    "What do you know, worm?!" shouted Ballmer, the spittle showering people as far away as the Denny's dumpster. "We will dominate all markets. Do you understand me, bitch? You will all be our bitches!"

    "Aren't you just trying to be annoying?" asked Enrico Cartmano from the Mexico City Daily Sombrero.

    "Com'ere, you!" said Ballmer, and proceeded toi chase Cartmano around the parking lot with a tire iron that Ballmer has somehow hidden in his pants.

  10. LIGHTEN UP! on Free Culture · · Score: 1
    Dude, jury duty consists of long waits in the jury pool room before you even see a courtroom. I played Advance Wars on the Gameboy Advance during my last trip to "civic duty".

    And no judge would allow a juror to read during a trial.

    ObDuh: Duh!

  11. Geez... on Comcast Signs Deal To Acquire TechTV · · Score: 1

    WIll they still show Anime Unleashed? Will I get to see the second half of Last Exile?

  12. Re:Sad thing about HDTV. on Fifty Years of Color Television · · Score: 1
    But any poor schmuck who can only afford a set of rabbit ears will have to buy an expensive high def receiver/converter just to watch anything.

    And said poor schmuck will get up off his ever widening ass and improve his life instead of vegetating to television.

    And they say there is no such thing as progress.

    Unless you were referring to college students.

    Then there is no hope.

  13. Irony? on Fifty Years of Color Television · · Score: 1

    It's because the CONTENT, for the most part, blows white hot chunks of suckiness. I need to buy a $5000 HDTV to watch... what, exactly?

  14. Re:Blessed are the Slashdotters on Always Look on the Bright Side of Life · · Score: 0
    I'm so impressed with how prejudiced this slashdot crowd seems to be when it comes to modding up anti-christian posts.

    Hey, I was defending them. ;-) And "bible-thumper" is generally understood to mean the extremists.

    So I think organized religion is based on fairy stories. So what? I'm just some guy. Who cares?

    Besides, can four billion religious people be wrong?

    Of course they can, but that's not the point. Or maybe it is the point. I dunno. Ligthen up. The weekend is nigh.

    ObPython: But that doesn't mean Pasteur was wrong!

  15. Re:Blessed are the Slashdotters on Always Look on the Bright Side of Life · · Score: 1

    Isn't dinging a harmless comment on a funny movie as overrated a waste of good mod points? I mean, really, mods... get a life.

  16. Smart mob? on Howard Rheingold on Using the Internet in Politics · · Score: 1, Funny

    Isn't that an oxymoron?

  17. Blessed are the Slashdotters on Always Look on the Bright Side of Life · · Score: 4, Interesting
    marketing the film as an alternative to all the hype that Mel Gibson's film 'The Passion of the Christ' has generated.

    The thumpers finally get a film and someone has to get all opposition-like. Sheesh. Let the fairy-tale sucklers have their little MOOvie.

    ObBrian: The graffiti scene is one of the greatest scenes ever filmed in movie history.

    "People called Romanes they go the house?" :-)

    Would a Hollywood film ever have fun with Latin?

    No. In the Hollywood version, they'd have to have to words "bitch" and "ass" in the scene 50 times, and there would be at least one fart.

  18. Silly on The Wrong Stuff · · Score: 1

    We still need to develop new launch technologies for the non-manned missions and even near-Earth stuff to make space more economically viable. People are already looking into space elevators and laser launch systems and other techniques. IF that's what you want, then fund that more. No need for some blowout manned mission target.

  19. W.C. Fields on The Wrong Stuff · · Score: 1
    This is a value judgment: 400,000,000,000 $ gives you 10e2 astrounouts in space for a few months, or 10e5 kids in the mountains for a few months. which do u want

    Can we send the 10e5 kids into space? Preferably one way?

  20. Surf's up on Mars! on NASA Says Mars Rocks Formed in a Salty Sea · · Score: 5, Funny
    "It must have been radical," said NASA spokesdude Jeff 'Sex Wax' Corona at a press conference held in a salt water taffy booth in Atlantic City, New Jersey. "The waves would have come in out of the north, and based on our topographic mapping, would have curled perfectly and just tubed out for miles."

    "Would there have been life there?" asked Jayson Blair, new cub reporter for Tool & Die Quarterly.

    "Dude!" said Corona, "With wave action like that how could there not be life? Can't you just imagine the green-skinned Mars babes lounging around, sipping Martain pina colodas while rubbing tanning butter all over their Barsooms."

    "So you think Mars mught have supported intelligent life?" asked Baba O'Reilly, a distant cousin of Bill O'Reilly working for Akron City College Daily Herald, Mid-Morning Edition.

    "Yeah... yeah... those barsooms, man," said Corona. "Huh? What? Oh, well, you wouldn't want them to be too intelligent, you know what I mean, man?"

    The press conference was brough to an early end when a catsuited Gloria Allred and Camille Paglia paraglided into the taffy booth and beat Corona into submission.

  21. 3D on The Unhappy World of IT Professionals · · Score: 1
    they're full-blown people

    I've heard that can make people happy as well.

  22. Re:5. "Open source benefits from anti-American sen on Andreesssen: Why Open Source Will Boom - in 103 Words · · Score: 1

    It's called, "I'll toss in a flammable one (along with the lit match) to prove how radical I am" or something.

  23. Re:The mental process is similar. on Muscle Cars And Smokin' Chips · · Score: 1
    Now I'm a programmer who tweeks the components to get the best performance at home. Looks are ok but performance is the deal.

    Just one question: what do you use the performance for? I always hear about overclocking and this and that, but no one in the hobby seems to mention much what they do with the added power.

    Winning isn't everything, but second is the first loser.

    I suppose, but in many sports second (and even third) place still pays quite well. :-) I'll happily own a racehorse that *consistently* finishes third.

    If you are not a liberal at 20 you have no heart. If you are not a conservative at 40 you have no brain.

    I prefer "not liberal at 20, no heart, not conservative at 30, no brain, not libertarian at 40, you've learned nothing."

  24. Programming = Art on Why Programming Still Stinks · · Score: 4, Funny
    Oh it *is* an art.

    Sadly it's the type of art where they paint with feces.

  25. Re:Because he has no facts on 'Civilization on Mars' Claims Debunked · · Score: 1
    I'm glad that you are at least familiar, but I'm just curious about something. Are you refering you the pictures of the 'face' that were released in 1998 or the one released in 2001?

    All of them. The original "cat box". The orthographically corrected one. Carlotto's enhancements. The lion mirror image. I saw them all. It now looks no more like a face than that famous one in New Hampshire (which recently had some weather damage, if I recall correctly). The new cloceups of the DM Pyramind, Fortress and City all look like rocks to me now.

    I actually held out the most hope for the thing they called the "Wall". In the Viking image it looked like a long mound built on *top* of a crater ejecta pattern with a trail winding up one side. Now it just seems it was tricks of light and fuzzy pixel.

    The Pyramid just doesn't look all that interesting at higher resolution.

    I wouldn't worry about the alleged fossil. If the rovers really managed to find one by chance, then there must be billions of them scattered all over.