Oooooh! Now you've gone and done it. We were all just peacefully hanging our toilet paper this way and that way, but that wasn't good enough for you, was it?! You had to go and advocate a particular way of hanging toilet paper, which just so happens to be diametrically opposed to that utilized by me and many, many others (the right way, I might add!). And did you really think we would just sit on our porcelain thinkin'-chairs and take it?!!! Hell no! It's on baby!!
And then of course there is Steganosaurus, the carnivorous dinosaur that employed stealth. It could hide in plain sight by making itself look like a large fern or shrub, and then leap onto its unsuspecting prey, snapping its victim's neck in one bite of its massive jaws.
"Scientists" tell us that the dinosaurs died out millions of years ago, but I think that Steganosaurus could still be with us today, having adapted to our modern world by mimicking small cars, or photo kiosks, or landscaping equipment. And that is why I tell my wife that I refuse to touch the lawnmower until she can prove that it isn't really a steganosaur.
or better yet, put a motion sensor on the machine, and if it is triggered have the machine say in a loud voice "HEY EVERYBODY! I'M WATCHING PORN OVER HERE!"
Actually a "Bananologist" can only offer fruit therapy. A "Bananiachrist" can do everything a "Bananologist" can do, but can also prescribe little yellow pills.
It's important to remember the difference, especially if you think you are going bananas.
Avi Bryant gave a fascinating talk about bringing technology developed for Smalltalk into the Ruby world at RailsConf 2007. Apropos of nothing, he bears an uncanny resemblance to Jeremy Davies (Daniel Faraday on "Lost").
Basically he's saying that many of the performance issues with the much-maligned Ruby VM were solved years ago in Smalltalk implementations, and that Ruby ought to incorporate those ideas. Maglev is a big step in this direction.
Whispers are circulating concerning a new Apple offering, to be known as the "iNull". Apple's latest tech blockbuster is said to involve no hardware or software, will not be offered as an online service, will not be encumbered by DRM, and in fact will have no actual existence at all, either physical or virtual.
"Apple will change the way we look at nothingness as a society," said one industry insider. "This is game-changing. Everything you think you know about nothing is going to be swept away."
Mac enthusiasts are eager to be among the first to have an iNull, despite the inherent philosophical difficulties in "having" one. "I can't wait!" blurted one blogger, "Apple has once again shown how they 'think different'. In a world of gadgets, doodads and useless techno-gimmickry, they've brought forth something of unrivaled simplicity and elegance. Way to go!"
From a business perspective, the profit potential is limitless -- the iNull will have the lowest production cost of any Apple product to date, requiring no manufacturing, shipping, or inventory, although there will be a "significant" marketing campaign. Of the $499 price tag, Apple is expected to reap the lion's share as pure profit, with an unspecified percentage paid out as a licensing fee to the Sartre estate.
That'd be a cool job... suave lawyer type during the day, secret agent spy CIA-type at night
Suspect under interrogation: You don't know who you're dealing with, do you, Mr. Government Lawyer? The people I work for are way above your paygrade. All I have to do is sit tight and wait for the sun to come up tomorrow, and you'll get a phone call, and I'll walk right out of here! What do you think of that?
Suavely dressed man: What do I think? I think a lot can happen between sunset and sunrise. Sure, I have to respect the law, but I happen to know someone, someone very close to me, who wipes his ass with the Constitution! Maybe tonight you'll get a visit from someone... someone who's not as nice as I am. Maybe he'll remind you of me, just a little. And maybe he'll slap you...not with a lawsuit, but with a two-by-four! What do you think of that?
Suspect under interrogation: You don't scare me!
Suavely dressed man: No? Damn. Are you sure? Because I'd really hate to have to drive all the way back to my swanky bachelor pad, press the hidden button behind the bookcase, go down into my secret lair, take off my expensive Gucci suit and loafers and put on my secret agent outfit with all the damned gizmos and infrared blocking crap, come back here, sneak in through the ventilation system, disable the guards with a high-tech sonic sleep-inducer, melt the locking mechanism of your cell with my laser-pen, and (without waking you) clamp my memory stealer device to your forehead and rip from your mind the information that is so vital to this country's security. I mean, I'll do it if I have to, but it's a real pain in the ass.
Slashdot Mirror
Actually, you mean the sequel, Das Reboot.
George Carlin - Saving the Planet
nah. It's Microsoft and Scientology.
Think about it:
Xenu
Zenu
Zune
Seems pretty obvious to me.
Hang it under.
Oooooh! Now you've gone and done it. We were all just peacefully hanging our toilet paper this way and that way, but that wasn't good enough for you, was it?! You had to go and advocate a particular way of hanging toilet paper, which just so happens to be diametrically opposed to that utilized by me and many, many others (the right way, I might add!). And did you really think we would just sit on our porcelain thinkin'-chairs and take it?!!! Hell no! It's on baby!!
Death to the Underhangers!!
And then of course there is Steganosaurus, the carnivorous dinosaur that employed stealth. It could hide in plain sight by making itself look like a large fern or shrub, and then leap onto its unsuspecting prey, snapping its victim's neck in one bite of its massive jaws.
"Scientists" tell us that the dinosaurs died out millions of years ago, but I think that Steganosaurus could still be with us today, having adapted to our modern world by mimicking small cars, or photo kiosks, or landscaping equipment. And that is why I tell my wife that I refuse to touch the lawnmower until she can prove that it isn't really a steganosaur.
or better yet, put a motion sensor on the machine, and if it is triggered have the machine say in a loud voice "HEY EVERYBODY! I'M WATCHING PORN OVER HERE!"
Would an anti-Hillary step up? Someone contact CERN.
They tried, but the Hillary particle is a real challenge to study since it is negative, has no charm and infinite spin.
1. Buy cheaper disposable...
Stop. You had me at "ahoy".
Actually a "Bananologist" can only offer fruit therapy. A "Bananiachrist" can do everything a "Bananologist" can do, but can also prescribe little yellow pills.
It's important to remember the difference, especially if you think you are going bananas.
Avi Bryant gave a fascinating talk about bringing technology developed for Smalltalk into the Ruby world at RailsConf 2007. Apropos of nothing, he bears an uncanny resemblance to Jeremy Davies (Daniel Faraday on "Lost").
Basically he's saying that many of the performance issues with the much-maligned Ruby VM were solved years ago in Smalltalk implementations, and that Ruby ought to incorporate those ideas. Maglev is a big step in this direction.
Her name is Nancy Cartwright
Whispers are circulating concerning a new Apple offering, to be known as the "iNull". Apple's latest tech blockbuster is said to involve no hardware or software, will not be offered as an online service, will not be encumbered by DRM, and in fact will have no actual existence at all, either physical or virtual.
"Apple will change the way we look at nothingness as a society," said one industry insider. "This is game-changing. Everything you think you know about nothing is going to be swept away."
Mac enthusiasts are eager to be among the first to have an iNull, despite the inherent philosophical difficulties in "having" one. "I can't wait!" blurted one blogger, "Apple has once again shown how they 'think different'. In a world of gadgets, doodads and useless techno-gimmickry, they've brought forth something of unrivaled simplicity and elegance. Way to go!"
From a business perspective, the profit potential is limitless -- the iNull will have the lowest production cost of any Apple product to date, requiring no manufacturing, shipping, or inventory, although there will be a "significant" marketing campaign. Of the $499 price tag, Apple is expected to reap the lion's share as pure profit, with an unspecified percentage paid out as a licensing fee to the Sartre estate.
step 3 is: 'apply copious amounts of lubricant'.
Um...where exactly is this rail gun????
+1 Much Too Informative
Just hitchhike, if your name is Chan.
one, two, three, four
what a fuckin' stupid war!
five, six, seven, eight
now we all ejaculate!
FORMAT B: if you want to live!
Actually, they chose the name to erase the dismal memory of the Zeppelin ME
there's a big secret involving Racer X
Racer X: Speed, I am your father! Search your feelings, you know it to be true!
That'd be a cool job... suave lawyer type during the day, secret agent spy CIA-type at night
Suspect under interrogation: You don't know who you're dealing with, do you, Mr. Government Lawyer? The people I work for are way above your paygrade. All I have to do is sit tight and wait for the sun to come up tomorrow, and you'll get a phone call, and I'll walk right out of here! What do you think of that?
Suavely dressed man: What do I think? I think a lot can happen between sunset and sunrise. Sure, I have to respect the law, but I happen to know someone, someone very close to me, who wipes his ass with the Constitution! Maybe tonight you'll get a visit from someone ... someone who's not as nice as I am. Maybe he'll remind you of me, just a little. And maybe he'll slap you...not with a lawsuit, but with a two-by-four! What do you think of that?
Suspect under interrogation: You don't scare me!
Suavely dressed man: No? Damn. Are you sure? Because I'd really hate to have to drive all the way back to my swanky bachelor pad, press the hidden button behind the bookcase, go down into my secret lair, take off my expensive Gucci suit and loafers and put on my secret agent outfit with all the damned gizmos and infrared blocking crap, come back here, sneak in through the ventilation system, disable the guards with a high-tech sonic sleep-inducer, melt the locking mechanism of your cell with my laser-pen, and (without waking you) clamp my memory stealer device to your forehead and rip from your mind the information that is so vital to this country's security. I mean, I'll do it if I have to, but it's a real pain in the ass.
As opposed to the current procedure of craning their necks and squinting at slanted letters printed in rainbow colors on a Jackson Pollock background?
Yeah, I think they might go for it.
"V1@GRa".
Wow, that gives a whole new spin to the phrase "Rise of the Machines"
I love it. It's cruel and unusual.
Call it the "Draize-Turing Test".